首页 >出版文学> Anne of the Island>第9章
  "WhatareyougoingtodowithRusty?"askedPhil,asthatprivilegedpussypaddedintotheroom。
  "IamgoingtotakehimhomewithmeandJosephandtheSarah-cat,"
  announcedAuntJamesina,followingRusty。"Itwouldbeashametoseparatethosecatsnowthattheyhavelearnedtolivetogether。
  It’sahardlessonforcatsandhumanstolearn。"
  "I’msorrytopartwithRusty,"saidAnneregretfully,"butitwouldbenousetotakehimtoGreenGables。Marilladetestscats,andDavywouldteasehislifeout。Besides,Idon’tsupposeI’llbehomeverylong。I’vebeenofferedtheprincipalshipoftheSummersideHighSchool。"
  "Areyougoingtoacceptit?"askedPhil。
  "I——Ihaven’tdecidedyet,"answeredAnne,withaconfusedflush。
  Philnoddedunderstandingly。NaturallyAnne’splanscouldnotbesettleduntilRoyhadspoken。Hewouldsoon——therewasnodoubtofthat。AndtherewasnodoubtthatAnnewouldsay"yes"whenhesaid"Willyouplease?"Anneherselfregardedthestateofaffairswithaseldom-ruffledcomplacency。ShewasdeeplyinlovewithRoy。
  True,itwasnotjustwhatshehadimaginedlovetobe。Butwasanythinginlife,Anneaskedherselfwearily,likeone’simaginationofit?Itwastheolddiamonddisillusionofchildhoodrepeated——
  thesamedisappointmentshehadfeltwhenshehadfirstseenthechillsparkleinsteadofthepurplesplendorshehadanticipated。
  "That’snotmyideaofadiamond,"shehadsaid。ButRoywasadearfellowandtheywouldbeveryhappytogether,evenifsomeindefinablezestwasmissingoutoflife。WhenRoycamedownthateveningandaskedAnnetowalkintheparkeveryoneatPatty’sPlaceknewwhathehadcometosay;andeveryoneknew,orthoughttheyknew,whatAnne’sanswerwouldbe。
  "Anneisaveryfortunategirl,"saidAuntJamesina。
  "Isupposeso,"saidStella,shrugginghershoulders。"Royisanicefellowandallthat。Butthere’sreallynothinginhim。"
  "Thatsoundsverylikeajealousremark,StellaMaynard,"saidAuntJamesinarebukingly。
  "Itdoes——butIamnotjealous,"saidStellacalmly。"IloveAnneandIlikeRoy。Everybodysayssheismakingabrilliantmatch,andevenMrs。Gardnerthinkshercharmingnow。Itallsoundsasifitweremadeinheaven,butIhavemydoubts。
  Makethemostofthat,AuntJamesina。"
  RoyaskedAnnetomarryhiminthelittlepavilionontheharborshorewheretheyhadtalkedontherainydayoftheirfirstmeeting。
  Annethoughtitveryromanticthatheshouldhavechosenthatspot。
  Andhisproposalwasasbeautifullywordedasifhehadcopiedit,asoneofRubyGillis’lovershaddone,outofaDeportmentofCourtshipandMarriage。Thewholeeffectwasquiteflawless。
  Anditwasalsosincere。TherewasnodoubtthatRoymeantwhathesaid。Therewasnofalsenotetojarthesymphony。
  Annefeltthatsheoughttobethrillingfromheadtofoot。
  Butshewasn’t;shewashorriblycool。WhenRoypausedforhisanswersheopenedherlipstosayherfatefulyes。
  Andthen——shefoundherselftremblingasifshewerereelingbackfromaprecipice。Tohercameoneofthosemomentswhenwerealize,asbyablindingflashofillumination,morethanallourpreviousyearshavetaughtus。ShepulledherhandfromRoy’s。
  "Oh,Ican’tmarryyou——Ican’t——Ican’t,"shecried,wildly。
  Royturnedpale——andalsolookedratherfoolish。Hehad——
  smallblametohim——feltverysure。
  "Whatdoyoumean?"hestammered。
  "ImeanthatIcan’tmarryyou,"repeatedAnnedesperately。
  "IthoughtIcould——butIcan’t。"
  "Whycan’tyou?"Royaskedmorecalmly。
  "Because——Idon’tcareenoughforyou。"
  AcrimsonstreakcameintoRoy’sface。
  "Soyou’vejustbeenamusingyourselfthesetwoyears?"hesaidslowly。
  "No,no,Ihaven’t,"gaspedpoorAnne。Oh,howcouldsheexplain?
  SheCOULDN’Texplain。Therearesomethingsthatcannotbeexplained。
  "IdidthinkIcared——trulyIdid——butIknownowIdon’t。"
  "Youhaveruinedmylife,"saidRoybitterly。
  "Forgiveme,"pleadedAnnemiserably,withhotcheeksandstingingeyes。
  Royturnedawayandstoodforafewminuteslookingoutseaward。
  WhenhecamebacktoAnne,hewasverypaleagain。
  "Youcangivemenohope?"hesaid。
  Anneshookherheadmutely。
  "Then——good-bye,"saidRoy。"Ican’tunderstandit——I
  can’tbelieveyouarenotthewomanI’vebelievedyoutobe。
  Butreproachesareidlebetweenus。YouaretheonlywomanIcaneverlove。Ithankyouforyourfriendship,atleast。
  Good-bye,Anne。"
  "Good-bye,"falteredAnne。WhenRoyhadgoneshesatforalongtimeinthepavilion,watchingawhitemistcreepingsubtlyandremorselesslylandwarduptheharbor。Itwasherhourofhumiliationandself-contemptandshame。Theirwaveswentoverher。Andyet,underneathitall,wasaqueersenseofrecoveredfreedom。
  SheslippedintoPatty’sPlaceintheduskandescapedtoherroom。
  ButPhilwasthereonthewindowseat。
  "Wait,"saidAnne,flushingtoanticipatethescene。"WaittilyouhearwhatIhavetosay。Phil,Royaskedmetomarryhim-andIrefused。"
  "You——youREFUSEDhim?"saidPhilblankly。
  "Yes。"
  "AnneShirley,areyouinyoursenses?"
  "Ithinkso,"saidAnnewearily。"Oh,Phil,don’tscoldme。
  Youdon’tunderstand。"
  "Icertainlydon’tunderstand。You’veencouragedRoyGardnerineverywayfortwoyears——andnowyoutellmeyou’verefusedhim。
  Thenyou’vejustbeenflirtingscandalouslywithhim。Anne,I
  couldn’thavebelieveditofYOU。"
  "IWASN’Tflirtingwithhim——IhonestlythoughtIcareduptothelastminute——andthen——well,IjustknewINEVERcouldmarryhim。"
  "Isuppose,"saidPhilcruelly,"thatyouintendedtomarryhimforhismoney,andthenyourbetterselfroseupandpreventedyou。"
  "IDIDN’T。Ineverthoughtabouthismoney。Oh,Ican’texplainittoyouanymorethanIcouldtohim。"
  "Well,IcertainlythinkyouhavetreatedRoyshamefully,"saidPhilinexasperation。"He’shandsomeandcleverandrichandgood。
  Whatmoredoyouwant?"
  "IwantsomeonewhoBELONGSinmylife。Hedoesn’t。Iwassweptoffmyfeetatfirstbyhisgoodlooksandknackofpayingromanticcompliments;andlateronIthoughtIMUSTbeinlovebecausehewasmydark-eyedideal。"
  "Iambadenoughfornotknowingmyownmind,butyouareworse,"
  saidPhil。
  "_I_DOknowmyownmind,"protestedAnne。"Thetroubleis,mymindchangesandthenIhavetogetacquaintedwithitalloveragain。"
  "Well,Isupposethereisnouseinsayinganythingtoyou。"
  "Thereisnoneed,Phil。I’minthedust。Thishasspoiledeverythingbackwards。IcanneverthinkofRedmonddayswithoutrecallingthehumiliationofthisevening。Roydespisesme——
  andyoudespiseme——andIdespisemyself。"
  "Youpoordarling,"saidPhil,melting。"Justcomehereandletmecomfortyou。I’venorighttoscoldyou。I’dhavemarriedAlecorAlonzoifIhadn’tmetJo。Oh,Anne,thingsaresomixed-upinreallife。Theyaren’tclear-cutandtrimmedoff,astheyareinnovels。"
  "IhopethatNOonewilleveragainaskmetomarryhimaslongasIlive,"sobbedpoorAnne,devoutlybelievingthatshemeantit。
  ChapterXXXIX
  DealswithWeddingsAnnefeltthatlifepartookofthenatureofananticlimaxduringthefirstfewweeksafterherreturntoGreenGables。ShemissedthemerrycomradeshipofPatty’sPlace。Shehaddreamedsomebrilliantdreamsduringthepastwinterandnowtheylayinthedustaroundher。Inherpresentmoodofself-disgust,shecouldnotimmediatelybegindreamingagain。Andshediscoveredthat,whilesolitudewithdreamsisglorious,solitudewithoutthemhasfewcharms。
  ShehadnotseenRoyagainaftertheirpainfulpartingintheparkpavilion;butDorothycametoseeherbeforesheleftKingsport。
  "I’mawfullysorryyouwon’tmarryRoy,"shesaid。"Ididwantyouforasister。Butyouarequiteright。Hewouldboreyoutodeath。
  Ilovehim,andheisadearsweetboy,butreallyheisn’tabitinteresting。Helooksasifheoughttobe,butheisn’t。"
  "Thiswon’tspoilOURfriendship,willit,Dorothy?"Annehadaskedwistfully。
  "No,indeed。You’retoogoodtolose。IfIcan’thaveyouforasisterImeantokeepyouasachumanyway。Anddon’tfretoverRoy。Heisfeelingterriblyjustnow——Ihavetolistentohisoutpouringseveryday——buthe’llgetoverit。Healwaysdoes。"
  "Oh——ALWAYS?"saidAnnewithaslightchangeofvoice。
  "Sohehas`gotoverit’before?"
  "Dearme,yes,"saidDorothyfrankly。"Twicebefore。Andheravedtomejustthesamebothtimes。Notthattheothersactuallyrefusedhim——theysimplyannouncedtheirengagementstosomeoneelse。Ofcourse,whenhemetyouhevowedtomethathehadneverreallylovedbefore——thatthepreviousaffairshadbeenmerelyboyishfancies。ButIdon’tthinkyouneedworry。"
  Annedecidednottoworry。Herfeelingswereamixtureofreliefandresentment。Royhadcertainlytoldhershewastheonlyonehehadeverloved。Nodoubthebelievedit。Butitwasacomforttofeelthatshehadnot,inalllikelihood,ruinedhislife。
  Therewereothergoddesses,andRoy,accordingtoDorothy,mustneedsbeworshippingatsomeshrine。Nevertheless,lifewasstrippedofseveralmoreillusions,andAnnebegantothinkdrearilythatitseemedratherbare。
  Shecamedownfromtheporchgableontheeveningofherreturnwithasorrowfulface。
  "WhathashappenedtotheoldSnowQueen,Marilla?"
  "Oh,Iknewyou’dfeelbadoverthat,"saidMarilla。"Ifeltbadmyself。
  ThattreewasthereeversinceIwasayounggirl。ItblewdowninthebiggalewehadinMarch。Itwasrottenatthecore。"
  "I’llmissitso,"grievedAnne。"Theporchgabledoesn’tseemthesameroomwithoutit。I’llneverlookfromitswindowagainwithoutasenseofloss。Andoh,InevercamehometoGreenGablesbeforethatDianawasn’theretowelcomeme。"
  "Dianahassomethingelsetothinkofjustnow,"saidMrs。Lyndesignificantly。
  "Well,tellmealltheAvonleanews,"saidAnne,sittingdownontheporchsteps,wheretheeveningsunshinefelloverherhairinafinegoldenrain。
  "Thereisn’tmuchnewsexceptwhatwe’vewroteyou,"saidMrs。Lynde。
  "Isupposeyouhaven’theardthatSimonFletcherbrokehisleglastweek。
  It’sagreatthingforhisfamily。They’regettingahundredthingsdonethatthey’vealwayswantedtodobutcouldn’taslongashewasabout,theoldcrank。"
  "Hecameofanaggravatingfamily,"remarkedMarilla。
  "Aggravating?Well,rather!Hismotherusedtogetupinprayer-meetingandtellallherchildren’sshortcomingsandaskprayersforthem。`Courseitmadethemmad,andworsethanever。"
  "Youhaven’ttoldAnnethenewsaboutJane,"suggestedMarilla。
  "Oh,Jane,"sniffedMrs。Lynde。"Well,"sheconcededgrudgingly,"JaneAndrewsishomefromtheWest——camelastweek——andshe’sgoingtobemarriedtoaWinnipegmillionaire。YoumaybesureMrs。Harmonlostnotimeintellingitfarandwide。"
  "DearoldJane——I’msoglad,"saidAnneheartily。"Shedeservesthegoodthingsoflife。"
  "Oh,Iain’tsayinganythingagainstJane。She’saniceenoughgirl。
  Butsheisn’tinthemillionaireclass,andyou’llfindthere’snotmuchtorecommendthatmanbuthismoney,that’swhat。Mrs。Harmonsayshe’sanEnglishmanwhohasmademoneyinminesbut_I_believehe’llturnouttobeaYankee。Hecertainlymusthavemoney,forhehasjustshoweredJanewithjewelry。HerengagementringisadiamondclustersobigthatitlookslikeaplasteronJane’sfatpaw。"
  Mrs。Lyndecouldnotkeepsomebitternessoutofhertone。
  HerewasJaneAndrews,thatplainlittleplodder,engagedtoamillionaire,whileAnne,itseemed,wasnotyetbespokenbyanyone,richorpoor。AndMrs。HarmonAndrewsdidbraginsufferably。
  "WhathasGilbertBlythebeendoingtoatcollege?"askedMarilla。
  "Isawhimwhenhecamehomelastweek,andheissopaleandthinIhardlyknewhim。"
  "Hestudiedveryhardlastwinter,"saidAnne。"YouknowhetookHighHonorsinClassicsandtheCooperPrize。Ithasn’tbeentakenforfiveyears!SoIthinkhe’sratherrundown。
  We’reallalittletired。"
  "Anyhow,you’reaB。A。andJaneAndrewsisn’tandneverwillbe,"
  saidMrs。Lynde,withgloomysatisfaction。
  AfeweveningslaterAnnewentdowntoseeJane,butthelatterwasawayinCharlottetown——"gettingsewingdone,"Mrs。HarmoninformedAnneproudly。"OfcourseanAvonleadressmakerwouldn’tdoforJaneunderthecircumstances。"
  "I’veheardsomethingveryniceaboutJane,"saidAnne。
  "Yes,Janehasdoneprettywell,evenifsheisn’taB。A。,"saidMrs。Harmon,withaslighttossofherhead。"Mr。Inglisisworthmillions,andthey’regoingtoEuropeontheirweddingtour。
  Whentheycomebackthey’llliveinaperfectmansionofmarbleinWinnipeg。Janehasonlyonetrouble——shecancooksowellandherhusbandwon’tlethercook。Heissorichhehireshiscookingdone。They’regoingtokeepacookandtwoothermaidsandacoachmanandaman-of-all-work。ButwhataboutYOU,Anne?Idon’thearanythingofyourbeingmarried,afterallyourcollege-going。"
  "Oh,"laughedAnne,"Iamgoingtobeanoldmaid。Ireallycan’tfindanyonetosuitme。"Itwasratherwickedofher。
  ShedeliberatelymeanttoremindMrs。Andrewsthatifshebecameanoldmaiditwasnotbecauseshehadnothadatleastonechanceofmarriage。ButMrs。Harmontookswiftrevenge。
  "Well,theover-particulargirlsgenerallygetleft,Inotice。
  Andwhat’sthisIhearaboutGilbertBlythebeingengagedtoaMissStuart?CharlieSloanetellsmesheisperfectlybeautiful。
  Isittrue?"
  "Idon’tknowifitistruethatheisengagedtoMissStuart,"
  repliedAnne,withSpartancomposure,"butitiscertainlytruethatsheisverylovely。"
  "IoncethoughtyouandGilbertwouldhavemadeamatchofit,"
  saidMrs。Harmon。"Ifyoudon’ttakecare,Anne,allofyourbeauxwillslipthroughyourfingers。"
  AnnedecidednottocontinueherduelwithMrs。Harmon。
  Youcouldnotfencewithanantagonistwhometrapierthrustwithblowofbattleaxe。
  "SinceJaneisaway,"shesaid,risinghaughtily,"Idon’tthinkIcanstaylongerthismorning。I’llcomedownwhenshecomeshome。"
  "Do,"saidMrs。Harmoneffusively。"Janeisn’tabitproud。
  Shejustmeanstoassociatewithheroldfriendsthesameasever。
  She’llberealgladtoseeyou。"
  Jane’smillionairearrivedthelastofMayandcarriedheroffinablazeofsplendor。Mrs。LyndewasspitefullygratifiedtofindthatMr。Ingliswaseverydayofforty,andshortandthinandgrayish。Mrs。Lyndedidnotsparehiminherenumerationofhisshortcomings,youmaybesure。
  "Itwilltakeallhisgoldtogildapilllikehim,that’swhat,"
  saidMrs。Rachelsolemnly。
  "Helookskindandgood-hearted,"saidAnneloyally,"andI’msurehethinkstheworldofJane。"
  "Humph!"saidMrs。Rachel。
  PhilGordonwasmarriedthenextweekandAnnewentovertoBolingbroketobeherbridesmaid。Philmadeadaintyfairyofabride,andtheRev。Jowassoradiantinhishappinessthatnobodythoughthimplain。
  "We’regoingforalovers’saunterthroughthelandofEvangeline,"
  saidPhil,"andthenwe’llsettledownonPattersonStreet。
  Motherthinksitisterrible——shethinksJomightatleasttakeachurchinadecentplace。ButthewildernessofthePattersonslumswillblossomliketheroseformeifJoisthere。
  Oh,Anne,I’msohappymyheartacheswithit。"
  Annewasalwaysgladinthehappinessofherfriends;butitissometimesalittlelonelytobesurroundedeverywherebyahappinessthatisnotyourown。AnditwasjustthesamewhenshewentbacktoAvonlea。ThistimeitwasDianawhowasbathedinthewonderfulglorythatcomestoawomanwhenherfirst-bornislaidbesideher。AnnelookedatthewhiteyoungmotherwithacertainawethathadneverenteredintoherfeelingsforDianabefore。Couldthispalewomanwiththeraptureinhereyesbethelittleblack-curled,rosy-cheekedDianashehadplayedwithinvanishedschooldays?Itgaveheraqueerdesolatefeelingthatsheherselfsomehowbelongedonlyinthosepastyearsandhadnobusinessinthepresentatall。
  "Isn’theperfectlybeautiful?"saidDianaproudly。
  ThelittlefatfellowwasabsurdlylikeFred——justasround,justasred。Annereallycouldnotsayconscientiouslythatshethoughthimbeautiful,butshevowedsincerelythathewassweetandkissableandaltogetherdelightful。
  "BeforehecameIwantedagirl,sothatIcouldcallherANNE,"
  saidDiana。"ButnowthatlittleFredishereIwouldn’texchangehimforamilliongirls。HejustCOULDN’Thavebeenanythingbuthisownpreciousself。"
  "`Everylittlebabyisthesweetestandthebest,’"quotedMrs。Allangaily。"IflittleAnneHADcomeyou’dhavefeltjustthesameabouther。"
  Mrs。AllanwasvisitinginAvonlea,forthefirsttimesinceleavingit。Shewasasgayandsweetandsympatheticasever。
  Heroldgirlfriendshadwelcomedherbackrapturously。
  Thereigningminister’swifewasanestimablelady,butshewasnotexactlyakindredspirit。
  "Icanhardlywaittillhegetsoldenoughtotalk,"sighedDiana。
  "Ijustlongtohearhimsay`mother。’Andoh,I’mdeterminedthathisfirstmemoryofmeshallbeaniceone。ThefirstmemoryI
  haveofmymotherisofherslappingmeforsomethingIhaddone。
  IamsureIdeservedit,andmotherwasalwaysagoodmotherandI
  loveherdearly。ButIdowishmyfirstmemoryofherwasnicer。"
  "Ihavejustonememoryofmymotheranditisthesweetestofallmymemories,"saidMrs。Allan。"Iwasfiveyearsold,andI
  hadbeenallowedtogotoschoolonedaywithmytwooldersisters。
  Whenschoolcameoutmysisterswenthomeindifferentgroups,eachsupposingIwaswiththeother。InsteadIhadrunoffwithalittlegirlIhadplayedwithatrecess。Wewenttoherhome,whichwasneartheschool,andbeganmakingmudpies。Wewerehavingaglorioustimewhenmyoldersisterarrived,breathlessandangry。
  "`Younaughtygirl"shecried,snatchingmyreluctanthandanddraggingmealongwithher。`Comehomethisminute。Oh,you’regoingtocatchit!Motherisawfulcross。Sheisgoingtogiveyouagoodwhipping。’
  "Ihadneverbeenwhipped。Dreadandterrorfilledmypoorlittleheart。IhaveneverbeensomiserableinmylifeasIwasonthatwalkhome。Ihadnotmeanttobenaughty。PhemyCameronhadaskedmetogohomewithherandIhadnotknownitwaswrongtogo。AndnowIwastobewhippedforit。Whenwegothomemysisterdraggedmeintothekitchenwheremotherwassittingbythefireinthetwilight。MypoorweelegsweretremblingsothatIcouldhardlystand。Andmother——motherjusttookmeupinherarms,withoutonewordofrebukeorharshness,kissedmeandheldmeclosetoherheart。`Iwassofrightenedyouwerelost,darling,’shesaidtenderly。Icouldseetheloveshininginhereyesasshelookeddownonme。SheneverscoldedorreproachedmeforwhatIhaddone——onlytoldmeImustnevergoawayagainwithoutaskingpermission。Shediedverysoonafterwards。ThatistheonlymemoryIhaveofher。Isn’titabeautifulone?"
  Annefeltlonelierthaneverasshewalkedhome,goingbywayoftheBirchPathandWillowmere。Shehadnotwalkedthatwayformanymoons。Itwasadarkly-purplebloomynight。Theairwasheavywithblossomfragrance——almosttooheavy。Thecloyedsensesrecoiledfromitasfromanoverfullcup。Thebirchesofthepathhadgrownfromthefairysaplingsofoldtobigtrees。
  Everythinghadchanged。Annefeltthatshewouldbegladwhenthesummerwasoverandshewasawayatworkagain。Perhapslifewouldnotseemsoemptythen。
  "`I’vetriedtheworld——itwearsnomoreThecoloringofromanceitwore,’"
  sighedAnne——andwasstraightwaymuchcomfortedbytheromanceintheideaoftheworldbeingdenudedofromance!
  ChapterXL
  ABookofRevelationTheIrvingscamebacktoEchoLodgeforthesummer,andAnnespentahappythreeweeksthereinJuly。MissLavendarhadnotchanged;
  CharlottatheFourthwasaverygrown-upyoungladynow,butstilladoredAnnesincerely。
  "Whenall’ssaidanddone,MissShirley,ma’am,Ihaven’tseenanyoneinBostonthat’sequaltoyou,"shesaidfrankly。
  Paulwasalmostgrownup,too。Hewassixteen,hischestnutcurlshadgivenplacetoclose-croppedbrownlocks,andhewasmoreinterestedinfootballthanfairies。Butthebondbetweenhimandhisoldteacherstillheld。Kindredspiritsalonedonotchangewithchangingyears。
  Itwasawet,bleak,crueleveninginJulywhenAnnecamebacktoGreenGables。Oneofthefiercesummerstormswhichsometimessweepoverthegulfwasravagingthesea。AsAnnecameinthefirstraindropsdashedagainstthepanes。
  "WasthatPaulwhobroughtyouhome?"askedMarilla。"Whydidn’tyoumakehimstayallnight。It’sgoingtobeawildevening。"
  "He’llreachEchoLodgebeforetheraingetsveryheavy,Ithink。
  Anyway,hewantedtogobacktonight。Well,I’vehadasplendidvisit,butI’mgladtoseeyoudearfolksagain。`East,west,hame’sbest。’Davy,haveyoubeengrowingagainlately?"
  "I’vegrowedawholeinchsinceyouleft,"saidDavyproudly。
  "I’mastallasMiltyBoulternow。Ain’tIglad。He’llhavetostopcrowingaboutbeingbigger。Say,Anne,didyouknowthatGilbertBlytheisdying?"Annestoodquitesilentandmotionless,lookingatDavy。HerfacehadgonesowhitethatMarillathoughtshewasgoingtofaint。
  "Davy,holdyourtongue,"saidMrs。Rachelangrily。"Anne,don’tlooklikethat——DON’TLOOKLIKETHAT!Wedidn’tmeantotellyousosuddenly。"
  "Is——it——true?"askedAnneinavoicethatwasnothers。
  "Gilbertisveryill,"saidMrs。Lyndegravely。"HetookdownwithtyphoidfeverjustafteryouleftforEchoLodge。Didyouneverhearofit?"
  "No,"saidthatunknownvoice。
  "Itwasaverybadcasefromthestart。Thedoctorsaidhe’dbeenterriblyrundown。They’veatrainednurseandeverything’sbeendone。DON’Tlooklikethat,Anne。Whilethere’slifethere’shope。"
  "Mr。Harrisonwasherethiseveningandhesaidtheyhadnohopeofhim,"
  reiteratedDavy。
  Marilla,lookingoldandwornandtired,gotupandmarchedDavygrimlyoutofthekitchen。
  "Oh,DON’Tlookso,dear,"saidMrs。Rachel,puttingherkindoldarmsaboutthepallidgirl。"Ihaven’tgivenuphope,indeedIhaven’t。
  He’sgottheBlytheconstitutioninhisfavor,that’swhat。"
  AnnegentlyputMrs。Lynde’sarmsawayfromher,walkedblindlyacrossthekitchen,throughthehall,upthestairstoheroldroom。
  Atitswindowshekneltdown,staringoutunseeingly。Itwasverydark。
  Therainwasbeatingdownovertheshiveringfields。TheHauntedWoodswasfullofthegroansofmightytreeswrunginthetempest,andtheairthrobbedwiththethunderouscrashofbillowsonthedistantshore。
  AndGilbertwasdying!
  ThereisabookofRevelationineveryone’slife,asthereisintheBible。
  Annereadhersthatbitternight,asshekeptheragonizedvigilthroughthehoursofstormanddarkness。ShelovedGilbert——hadalwayslovedhim!
  Sheknewthatnow。Sheknewthatshecouldnomorecasthimoutofherlifewithoutagonythanshecouldhavecutoffherrighthandandcastitfromher。
  Andtheknowledgehadcometoolate——toolateevenforthebittersolaceofbeingwithhimatthelast。Ifshehadnotbeensoblind——sofoolish——shewouldhavehadtherighttogotohimnow。Buthewouldneverknowthatshelovedhim——hewouldgoawayfromthislifethinkingthatshedidnotcare。Oh,theblackyearsofemptinessstretchingbeforeher!
  Shecouldnotlivethroughthem——shecouldnot!Shecowereddownbyherwindowandwished,forthefirsttimeinhergayyounglife,thatshecoulddie,too。IfGilbertwentawayfromher,withoutonewordorsignormessage,shecouldnotlive。Nothingwasofanyvaluewithouthim。
  Shebelongedtohimandhetoher。Inherhourofsupremeagonyshehadnodoubtofthat。HedidnotloveChristineStuart——neverhadlovedChristineStuart。Oh,whatafoolshehadbeennottorealizewhatthebondwasthathadheldhertoGilbert——tothinkthattheflatteredfancyshehadfeltforRoyGardnerhadbeenlove。Andnowshemustpayforherfollyasforacrime。
  Mrs。LyndeandMarillacrepttoherdoorbeforetheywenttobed,shooktheirheadsdoubtfullyateachotheroverthesilence,andwentaway。Thestormragedallnight,butwhenthedawncameitwasspent。Annesawafairyfringeoflightontheskirtsofdarkness。Soontheeasternhilltopshadafire-shotrubyrim。
  Thecloudsrolledthemselvesawayintogreat,soft,whitemassesonthehorizon;theskygleamedblueandsilvery。Ahushfellovertheworld。
  Annerosefromherkneesandcreptdownstairs。Thefreshnessoftherain-windblewagainstherwhitefaceasshewentoutintotheyard,andcooledherdry,burningeyes。Amerryrollickingwhistlewasliltingupthelane。AmomentlaterPacifiqueBuotecameinsight。
  Anne’sphysicalstrengthsuddenlyfailedher。Ifshehadnotclutchedatalowwillowboughshewouldhavefallen。PacifiquewasGeorgeFletcher’shiredman,andGeorgeFletcherlivednextdoortotheBlythes。Mrs。FletcherwasGilbert’saunt。
  Pacifiquewouldknowif——if——Pacifiquewouldknowwhattherewastobeknown。
  Pacifiquestrodesturdilyonalongtheredlane,whistling。HedidnotseeAnne。Shemadethreefutileattemptstocallhim。
  Hewasalmostpastbeforeshesucceededinmakingherquiveringlipscall,"Pacifique!"
  Pacifiqueturnedwithagrinandacheerfulgoodmorning。
  "Pacifique,"saidAnnefaintly,"didyoucomefromGeorgeFletcher’sthismorning?"
  "Sure,"saidPacifiqueamiably。"Igotdewordlas’nightdatmyfader,hewasseeck。ItwassostormydatIcouldn’tgoden,soI
  startvairearlydismornin’。I’mgoin’troodewoodsforshortcut。"
  "DidyouhearhowGilbertBlythewasthismorning?"Anne’sdesperationdrovehertothequestion。Eventheworstwouldbemoreendurablethanthishideoussuspense。
  "He’sbetter,"saidPacifique。"Hegotdeturnlas’night。
  Dedoctorsayhe’llbeallrightnowdissoonwhile。Hadcloseshave,dough!Datboy,hejus’keelhimselfatcollege。
  Well,Imus’hurry。Deoldman,he’llbeinhurrytoseeme。"
  Pacifiqueresumedhiswalkandhiswhistle。Annegazedafterhimwitheyeswherejoywasdrivingoutthestrainedanguishofthenight。
  Hewasaverylank,veryragged,veryhomelyyouth。Butinhersighthewasasbeautifulasthosewhobringgoodtidingsonthemountains。
  Never,aslongasshelived,wouldAnneseePacifique’sbrown,round,black-eyedfacewithoutawarmremembranceofthemomentwhenhehadgiventohertheoilofjoyformourning。
  LongafterPacifique’sgaywhistlehadfadedintothephantomofmusicandthenintosilencefarupunderthemaplesofLover’sLaneAnnestoodunderthewillows,tastingthepoignantsweetnessoflifewhensomegreatdreadhasbeenremovedfromit。Themorningwasacupfilledwithmistandglamor。Inthecornernearherwasarichsurpriseofnew-blown,crystal-dewedroses。
  Thetrillsandtricklesofsongfromthebirdsinthebigtreeaboveherseemedinperfectaccordwithhermood。Asentencefromaveryold,verytrue,verywonderfulBookcametoherlips,"Weepingmayendureforanightbutjoycomethinthemorning。"
  XLI
  LoveTakesUptheGlassofTime"I’vecomeuptoaskyoutogoforoneofourold-timeramblesthroughSeptemberwoodsand`overhillswherespicesgrow,’thisafternoon,"saidGilbert,comingsuddenlyaroundtheporchcorner。
  "SupposewevisitHesterGray’sgarden。"
  Anne,sittingonthestonestepwithherlapfullofapale,filmy,greenstuff,lookedupratherblankly。
  "Oh,IwishIcould,"shesaidslowly,"butIreallycan’t,Gilbert。I’mgoingtoAlicePenhallow’sweddingthisevening,youknow。I’vegottodosomethingtothisdress,andbythetimeit’sfinishedI’llhavetogetready。I’msosorry。
  I’dlovetogo。"
  "Well,canyougotomorrowafternoon,then?"askedGilbert,apparentlynotmuchdisappointed。
  "Yes,Ithinkso。"
  "InthatcaseIshallhiemehomeatoncetodosomethingI
  shouldotherwisehavetodotomorrow。SoAlicePenhallowistobemarriedtonight。Threeweddingsforyouinonesummer,Anne——Phil’s,Alice’s,andJane’s。I’llneverforgiveJanefornotinvitingmetoherwedding。"
  "Youreallycan’tblameherwhenyouthinkofthetremendousAndrewsconnectionwhohadtobeinvited。Thehousecouldhardlyholdthemall。IwasonlybiddenbygraceofbeingJane’soldchum——atleastonJane’spart。IthinkMrs。Harmon’smotiveforinvitingmewastoletmeseeJane’ssurpassinggorgeousness。"
  "Isittruethatsheworesomanydiamondsthatyoucouldn’ttellwherethediamondsleftoffandJanebegan?"
  Annelaughed。
  "Shecertainlyworeagoodmany。Whatwithallthediamondsandwhitesatinandtulleandlaceandrosesandorangeblossoms,primlittleJanewasalmostlosttosight。ButshewasVERY
  happy,andsowasMr。Inglis——andsowasMrs。Harmon。"
  "Isthatthedressyou’regoingtoweartonight?"askedGilbert,lookingdownatthefluffsandfrills。
  "Yes。Isn’titpretty?AndIshallwearstarflowersinmyhair。
  TheHauntedWoodisfullofthemthissummer。"
  GilberthadasuddenvisionofAnne,arrayedinafrillygreengown,withthevirginalcurvesofarmsandthroatslippingoutofit,andwhitestarsshiningagainstthecoilsofherruddyhair。
  Thevisionmadehimcatchhisbreath。Butheturnedlightlyaway。
  "Well,I’llbeuptomorrow。Hopeyou’llhaveanicetimetonight。"
  Annelookedafterhimashestrodeaway,andsighed。Gilbertwasfriendly——veryfriendly——fartoofriendly。HehadcomequiteoftentoGreenGablesafterhisrecovery,andsomethingoftheiroldcomradeshiphadreturned。ButAnnenolongerfounditsatisfying。
  Theroseoflovemadetheblossomoffriendshippaleandscentlessbycontrast。AndAnnehadagainbeguntodoubtifGilbertnowfeltanythingforherbutfriendship。Inthecommonlightofcommondayherradiantcertaintyofthatraptmorninghadfaded。Shewashauntedbyamiserablefearthathermistakecouldneverberectified。
  ItwasquitelikelythatitwasChristinewhomGilbertlovedafterall。
  Perhapshewasevenengagedtoher。Annetriedtoputallunsettlinghopesoutofherheart,andreconcileherselftoafuturewhereworkandambitionmusttaketheplaceoflove。Shecoulddogood,ifnotnoble,workasateacher;andthesuccessherlittlesketcheswerebeginningtomeetwithincertaineditorialsanctumsauguredwellforherbuddingliterarydreams。But——but——Annepickeduphergreendressandsighedagain。
  WhenGilbertcamethenextafternoonhefoundAnnewaitingforhim,freshasthedawnandfairasastar,afterallthegaietyoftheprecedingnight。Sheworeagreendress——nottheoneshehadworntothewedding,butanoldonewhichGilberthadtoldherataRedmondreceptionhelikedespecially。Itwasjusttheshadeofgreenthatbroughtouttherichtintsofherhair,andthestarrygrayofhereyesandtheiris-likedelicacyofherskin。Gilbert,glancingathersidewaysastheywalkedalongashadowywoodpath,thoughtshehadneverlookedsolovely。Anne,glancingsidewaysatGilbert,nowandthen,thoughthowmucholderhelookedsincehisillness。Itwasasifhehadputboyhoodbehindhimforever。
  Thedaywasbeautifulandthewaywasbeautiful。AnnewasalmostsorrywhentheyreachedHesterGray’sgarden,andsatdownontheoldbench。Butitwasbeautifulthere,too——asbeautifulasithadbeenonthefarawaydayoftheGoldenPicnic,whenDianaandJaneandPriscillaandshehadfoundit。Thenithadbeenlovelywithnarcissusandviolets;nowgoldenrodhadkindleditsfairytorchesinthecornersandastersdotteditbluely。Thecallofthebrookcameupthroughthewoodsfromthevalleyofbircheswithallitsoldallurement;themellowairwasfullofthepurrofthesea;beyondwerefieldsrimmedbyfencesbleachedsilverygrayinthesunsofmanysummers,andlonghillsscarfedwiththeshadowsofautumnalclouds;withtheblowingofthewestwindolddreamsreturned。
  "Ithink,"saidAnnesoftly,"that`thelandwheredreamscometrue’
  isinthebluehazeyonder,overthatlittlevalley。"
  "Haveyouanyunfulfilleddreams,Anne?"askedGilbert。
  Somethinginhistone——somethingshehadnotheardsincethatmiserableeveningintheorchardatPatty’sPlace——madeAnne’sheartbeatwildly。Butshemadeanswerlightly。
  "Ofcourse。Everybodyhas。Itwouldn’tdoforustohaveallourdreamsfulfilled。Wewouldbeasgoodasdeadifwehadnothinglefttodreamabout。Whatadeliciousaromathatlow-descendingsunisextractingfromtheastersandferns。
  Iwishwecouldseeperfumesaswellassmellthem。I’msuretheywouldbeverybeautiful。"
  Gilbertwasnottobethussidetracked。
  "Ihaveadream,"hesaidslowly。"Ipersistindreamingit,althoughithasoftenseemedtomethatitcouldnevercometrue。
  Idreamofahomewithahearth-fireinit,acatanddog,thefootstepsoffriends——andYOU!"
  Annewantedtospeakbutshecouldfindnowords。Happinesswasbreakingoverherlikeawave。Italmostfrightenedher。
  "Iaskedyouaquestionovertwoyearsago,Anne。IfIaskitagaintodaywillyougivemeadifferentanswer?"
  StillAnnecouldnotspeak。Butsheliftedhereyes,shiningwithallthelove-raptureofcountlessgenerations,andlookedintohisforamoment。Hewantednootheranswer。
  Theylingeredintheoldgardenuntiltwilight,sweetasduskinEdenmusthavebeen,creptoverit。Therewassomuchtotalkoverandrecall——thingssaidanddoneandheardandthoughtandfeltandmisunderstood。
  "IthoughtyoulovedChristineStuart,"Annetoldhim,asreproachfullyasifshehadnotgivenhimeveryreasontosupposethatshelovedRoyGardner。
  Gilbertlaughedboyishly。
  "Christinewasengagedtosomebodyinherhometown。IknewitandsheknewIknewit。WhenherbrothergraduatedhetoldmehissisterwascomingtoKingsportthenextwintertotakemusic,andaskedmeifIwouldlookafterherabit,assheknewnooneandwouldbeverylonely。SoIdid。AndthenIlikedChristineforherownsake。SheisoneofthenicestgirlsI’veeverknown。Iknewcollegegossipcrediteduswithbeinginlovewitheachother。Ididn’tcare。Nothingmatteredmuchtomeforatimethere,afteryoutoldmeyoucouldneverloveme,Anne。
  Therewasnobodyelse——therenevercouldbeanybodyelseformebutyou。I’velovedyoueversincethatdayyoubrokeyourslateovermyheadinschool。"
  "Idon’tseehowyoucouldkeeponlovingmewhenIwassuchalittlefool,"saidAnne。
  "Well,Itriedtostop,"saidGilbertfrankly,"notbecauseI
  thoughtyouwhatyoucallyourself,butbecauseIfeltsuretherewasnochanceformeafterGardnercameonthescene。ButI
  couldn’t——andIcan’ttellyou,either,whatit’smeanttomethesetwoyearstobelieveyouweregoingtomarryhim,andbetoldeveryweekbysomebusybodythatyourengagementwasonthepointofbeingannounced。IbelievedituntiloneblesseddaywhenIwassittingupafterthefever。IgotaletterfromPhilGordon——PhilBlake,rather——inwhichshetoldmetherewasreallynothingbetweenyouandRoy,andadvisedmeto`tryagain。’
  Well,thedoctorwasamazedatmyrapidrecoveryafterthat。"
  Annelaughed——thenshivered。
  "IcanneverforgetthenightIthoughtyouweredying,Gilbert。
  Oh,Iknew——IKNEWthen——andIthoughtitwastoolate。"
  "Butitwasn’t,sweetheart。Oh,Anne,thismakesupforeverything,doesn’tit?Let’sresolvetokeepthisdaysacredtoperfectbeautyallourlivesforthegiftithasgivenus。"
  "It’sthebirthdayofourhappiness,"saidAnnesoftly。
  "I’vealwayslovedthisoldgardenofHesterGray’s,andnowitwillbedearerthanever。"
  "ButI’llhavetoaskyoutowaitalongtime,Anne,"
  saidGilbertsadly。"ItwillbethreeyearsbeforeI’llfinishmymedicalcourse。Andeventhentherewillbenodiamondsunburstsandmarblehalls。"
  Annelaughed。
  "Idon’twantsunburstsandmarblehalls。IjustwantYOU。
  YouseeI’mquiteasshamelessasPhilaboutit。Sunburstsandmarblehallsmaybeallverywell,butthereismore`scopeforimagination’withoutthem。Andasforthewaiting,thatdoesn’tmatter。We’lljustbehappy,waitingandworkingforeachother——anddreaming。Oh,dreamswillbeverysweetnow。"
  Gilbertdrewherclosetohimandkissedher。Thentheywalkedhometogetherinthedusk,crownedkingandqueeninthebridalrealmoflove,alongwindingpathsfringedwiththesweetestflowersthateverbloomed,andoverhauntedmeadowswherewindsofhopeandmemoryblew。
  End