CHAPTERLXXVIII。
　　RESTORATION。
　　Thesameafternoon，whileDonalwasreadingtoArcturainthelibrary，therecamealoudringingofthedoor-bell。Donalrantosee，andtohisgreatdelight，therewasmistressBrookes，halfwildwithanxiousterror。
　　“Ismyleddysafe？”shecried——thenclaspedDonalinherarmsandembracedhimasifhehadbeenherson。
　　>Fromthemomentshediscoveredherselffooled，shehadbeenimaginingallmannerofterriblethings——yetnonesoterribleasthetruth。Therewasnoendtoherobjurgations，exclamations，anathemas，andinterjections。
　　“NowIcanleaveyouinpeace，mylady！”saidDonal，whohadnotresumedhisseat。
　　“Nooyecanbidewhauryeare，an'bethankfu'！”saidmistressBrookes。“Whadaurmeddlewi'ye，an'mei'thehoose！An'whakenswhatthemadyerl，formadIs'uphaudhim，an'fitonlytobelockitup——whakenswhathemaydoneist！MaisterGrant，Icannotlatyeooto'thehoose。“
　　“IwasonlygoingasfarasmistressComin's，“repliedDonal。
　　“Weel，yecangang；butmin'ye'rehamei'gudetime！”
　　“Ithoughtofputtingupthere，butIwilldoasmyladypleases。“
　　“Comehome，“saidArctura。
　　Donalwent，andthefirstpersonhesawwhenheenteredthehousewasEppy。Sheturnedinstantlyaway，andlefttheroom：hecouldnothelpseeingwhy。
　　Theoldwomanwelcomedhimwithherusualcordiality，butnotherusualcheerfulness：hehadscarcelynotedsinceherhusband'sdeathanychangeonhermannertillnow：shelookedwearyoftheworld。
　　Shesatdown，smoothedheraprononherknees，gavehimoneglanceintheface，thenlookeddownatherhands，andsaidnothing。
　　“Ikenwhatailsye，Doory，“saidDonal；“buti'thenameo'him'at'sawa'，hearkentilme——Thelassisnolost，naitheristheLordasleep。Yerlamb'sbeensairmisguidit，sairpluckito'herbonnywoo'，butgienforthatshehaudthecloserbytheLord'sflock，she'llkenitwasnaforwanto'hiscarethetodgotagrupo'her。It'saterriblepityforthebonnycratur，disgracin'them'atauchther！Whatforwinnayoongfowkbelievethem'atspeykstrue，butwullbelievethem'attellsthemlittlebutlees！Still，it'snoasgienshehadbeenstealin'！She'swrangtherpuirsel'，an'she'swrangtusa'，an'she'swrangttheLord；butfora'thatyecannaluikdoonuponherasupo'theman'at'sgrownrichatthecosto'hisneebours。There'smonyagran'proodleddy'illhaetostan'asidetolatEppypassup，whanwe're'aforetherichteousjudge。“
　　“Eh，butyespeyklikemyAnerew！”criedthepoorwoman，wipingheroldeyeswithherroughapron。“Is'dowhatIcanforher；butthere'snohidin'o''t！”
　　“Hidin'o''t！”criedDonal。“TheLordforbid！Sicthingsarenotobehidden！Saelang'sshe'si'thewarl'，thethinghastobekennedo'a''atcomenighher。Shemaunbeirherburden，puirlass！
　　TheLordhe'lllichten'ttilher，buthe'llhaenaethingsmuggletup。That'snothew'yo'hiskingdom！——Isupposethere'snaedoobtwha？”
　　“Nane。TheLordforbid！”
　　Twodaysafter，Mr。Graemeandhissisterreturned，andatladyArctura'srequesttookuptheirabodeatthecastle。Shetoldthemthatoflateshehadbecomeconvincedherunclewasnolongercapableofattendingtoheraffairs；thathewasgonetoLondon；
　　thatshehadgoneawaywithhim，andwassupposedtobewithhimstill，thoughshehadreturned，andhedidnotknowwhereshewas。
　　Shedidnotwishhimtoknow，butdesiredforthepresenttoremainconcealed。Shehadherreasons；andrequestedthereforeasapersonalfavourthattheywouldnotonceortoanyonealludetoherbeingatthecastle。Mr。Graemewouldinthemeantimebesogoodasmakehimselfacquainted，sofaraspossible，withthestateofaffairsbetweenherandheruncle。
　　Inthecourseoftheinvestigationsthereuponfollowing，itbecameclearthatalargeportionofthemoneysoftheestatereceivedbyhislordshipwerenowiseaccountedfor。LadyArcturadirectedthatfurtherinquiryshouldinthemeantimebestayed，butthatnomoremoneyshouldbehandedovertohim。
　　Forsometimethefactorheardnothingfromhislordship。Atlengthcameinstructionsastotheforwardingofmoney，Forguewritingandhisfathersigning。Mr。Graemereplied，excusinghimselfashecould，butsendingnomoney。Theywroteagain。Againheexcusedhimself。Theearlthreatened。Mr。Graemetooknoheed。Hislordshipcontinuedtodemandandthreaten，butneitherhenorhissonappeared。ThefactoratlengthwrotethathewouldpaynomoneybuttoladyArctura。Theearlhimselfwroteinreply，saying——hadhebeenoutofthecountrythathedidnotknowshewasdeadandsixweeksinhergrave？Againthefactordidnotreply。
　　DonalrodebacktoGlashgar，andbroughtDaviehome。Lessonswereresumed，andArcturatookherfullshareinthem。
　　Soonallaboutthecastlewasbustleandlabour——masonsandcarpentersbusyfrommorningtonight。Thewallthatmaskedthewindowsofthechapelwaspulleddown；thewindows，ofstainedglass，withneveracrack，werecleaned；thepassageunderthemwasopenedtothegreatstair；ladyArcturahadasmallsweet-tonedorganbuiltinthelittlegallery，andthemuralstairfromherownroomopenedagain，thatshemightgodownwhenshepleasedtoplayonit——sometimes，insouth-easterlywinds，tolistentotheaeolianharpdreamingoutthemusicofthespheres。
　　Intheprocessofremovingthebed，muchofitcrumbledtodust。Thecarvedtesterandbackweresetup，theoneoverthegreatchimney-pieceinthehall，theotheroverthatinArctura'sroom。
　　Thealtarwasreplacedwherethebedhadbeen。ThestoryofthefindingofthelostchapelwaswrittenbyDonal，andplacedbyArcturaamongtherecordsofthefamily。
　　ButitsoonbecameevidentthatwhatshehadpassedthroughhadexercisedahurtfulinfluenceonladyArctura'shealth。Shewasalmostalwayshappy，butherstrengthattimeswouldsuddenlydeserther。BothDonalandmistressBrookesregardedherwithsomeanxiety。
　　Herorgan，towhichshegavemorelabourthanshewasquiteequalto，wasnowoneofhermaindelights。Oftenwoulditschordsbeheardcreepingthroughthelongductsandpassagesofthecastle：
　　eitherforasmallinstrumentitstonewaspeculiarlypenetrating，orthechapelwasthecentreofthesystemofthehouse。OntheroofwouldDonaloftensitlisteningtothesoundsthatrosethroughtheshaft——airsandharmoniesfreedbyherworshippingfingers——rejoicingtothinkhowherspiritwasfollowingthesounds，guidedbytheminlovelysearchafterhernativecountry。
　　Onedayshewentonplayingtillsheforgoteverythingbuthermusic，andalmostunconsciouslybegantosing“TheLordismindfulofhisown。“Shewasunawarethatshehadtwolisteners——oneontheroofabove，oneinthechapelbelow。
　　Whentwelvemonthswerecomeandgonesincehisdeparture，theearlonebrightmorningapproachedthedoorofthecastle，halfdoubting，halfbelievingithisown：hewasdeterminedondismissingthefactorafterrigorousexaminationofhisaccounts；andhewantedtoseeDavie。Hehaddriventothestables，andthencewalkedoutontheuppermostterrace，passingthechapelwithoutobservingitsunmaskedwindows。Thegreatdoorwasstandingopen：hewentin，andupthestair，hauntedbysoundsofmusichehadbeenhearingeversincehesteppedontheterrace。
　　Butonthestairwasadoorhehadneverseen！Whodaredmakechangesinhishouse？Thethingwasbewildering！Buthewasaccustomedtobebewildered。
　　Heopenedthedoor——plainlyanewone——andenteredagloomylittlepassage，lightedfromasmallapertureunfittobecalledawindow。
　　Theundersideofthebarestepsofanarrowstonestairwereabovehishead。Hadheorhadhenoteverseentheplacebefore？Ontherightwasadoor。Hewenttoit，openedit，andthehithertomuffledmusicburstloudonhisear。Hestartedbackindismalapprehension：——therewasthechapel，wideopentotheeyeofday！——clearandclean！——gonethehideousbed！gonethedampandthedust！whilethefreshairtrembledwiththeorgan-breathrushingandripplingthroughit，andsettingitinsweetestturmoil！Hehadneverhadsuchapeculiarexperience！Hehadoftendoubtedwhetherthingswereorwerenotprojectionsfromhisownbrain；hemovedandactedinaworldofsubduedfactandenhancedfiction；heknewthatsometimeshecouldnottelltheonefromtheother；butneverhadhehadtheapparentlyrealandtheactuallyunrealbroughtsomuchfacetofacewitheachother！Everythingwasascleartohiseyesasintheirprimeofvision，andyettherecouldbenorealityinwhathesaw！
　　Eversinceheleftthecastlehehadbeengreatlyuncertainwhetherthethingsthatseemedtohavetakenplacethere，hadreallytakenplace。Hegothimselfindoubtaboutthemthemomenthefailedtofindthekeyoftheoakdoor。Whenheaskedhimselfwhatthencouldhavebecomeofhisniece，hewouldreplythatdoubtlessshewasallright：shedidnotwanttomarryForgue，andhadslippedoutoftheway：shehadnevercaredabouttheproperty！Tohavetheirownwillwasallwomencaredabout！Wouldhisfactorotherwisehavedaredsuchlibertieswithhim，thelady'sguardian？Hehadnotyetrenderedhisaccounts，oryieldedhisstewardship。Whenshediedthepropertywouldbehis！ifshewasdead，itwashis！Shewouldneverhavedreamedofwillingitawayfromhim！Shedidnotknowshecould：howshouldshe？girlsneverthoughtaboutsuchthings！
　　Besidesshewouldnothavetheheart：hehadlovedherashisownfleshandblood！
　　Atintervals，nevertheless，hewasassailed，attimesoverwhelmed，bythepartialconvictionthathehadstarvedhertodeathinthechapel。Thenhewastormentedaswithallthefuriesofhell。Inhisnightvisionshewouldseeherliewasting，hearhermoaning，andcryinginvainforhelp：thehardestheartisyetatthemercyofarousedimagination。Hesawherbodyinitsprogressivestagesofdecayastheweekspassed，andlongedfortheprocesstobeover，thathemightgoback，andpretendingtohavejustfoundthelostroom，carryitaway，andhaveithonourablyburied！Shouldhetakeitforgrantedthatithadlainthereforcenturies，orsuggestitmustbeladyArctura——thatshehadgotshutupthere，likethebrideinthechest？Ifhecouldbutfindanoldspringlocktoputonthedoor！Butpeopleweresoplaguysharpnowadays！Theyfoundouteverything！——hecouldnotaffordtohaveeverythingfoundout！——Godhimselfmustnotbeallowedtoknoweverything！
　　Hestoodstaring。Ashestoodandstared，hismindbegantochange：
　　perhaps，afterall，whathesaw，mightbe！Thewholethingithaddisplacedmustthenbeafancy——acreationofthedreamingbrain！
　　Godinheaven！ifitcouldbutbeproventhathehadneverdoneit！
　　Alltheotherwickedthingshewas——orsupposedhimselfguiltyof——someofthemsoheavythatithadneverseemedofthesmallestusetorepentofthem——alltherestmightbeforgivenhim！——Butwhatdifferencewouldthatmaketothefactthathehaddonethem？Hecouldnevertakehisplaceasagentlemanwhereallwasknown！Theymadesuchafussaboutasinortwo，thatamanwentanddidworseoutofpuredespair！
　　Butifhehadnevermurderedanybody！InthatcasehecouldalmostconsentthereshouldbeaGod！hecouldalmosteventhankhim！——Forwhat！Thathewasnottobedamnedforthethinghehadnotdone——athinghehadhadthemisfortunetodreamhehaddone——Godneverinterferingtoprotecthimfromthehorriblefancy？WhatwasthegoodofaGodthatwouldnotdothatmuchforyou——thatlefthiscreaturestomakefoolsofthemselves，andonlylaughedatthem！——Bah！Therewaslifeintheolddogyet！Ifonlyheknewthethingforafancy！
　　Themusicceased，andthesilencewasashocktohim。Againhebegantostareabouthim。Helookedup。Beforehimintheairhoveredthepalefaceofthegirlhehad——orhadnotmurdered！Itwasoneofhisvisions——butnotthereforemoreunrealthananyotherappearance：
　　shecamefromtheworldofhisimagination——sorealtohimthatinexpectantmoodsitwastheworldintowhichhewastostepthemomentheleftthebody。Shelookedsweetlyathim！Shewascometoforgivehissins！Wasitthentrue？Wastherenosinofmurderonhissoul？Wasshetheretoassurehimthathemightyethopefortheworldtocome？Hestretchedouthisarmstoher。Sheturnedaway。Hethoughtshehadvanished。Thenextmomentshewasinthechapel，buthedidnothearher，andstoodgazingup。Shethrewherarmsaroundhim。Thecontactofthematerialstartledhimwithsucharevulsion，thatheutteredacry，staggeredback，andstoodlookingatherinworseperplexitystill。Hehaddonetheawfulthing，yethadnotdoneit！Hestoodasoneboundtoknowthethingthatcouldnotbe。
　　“Don'tbefrightened，uncle，“saidArctura。“Iamnotdead。Thesepulchreistheonlyresurrection-house！Uncle，uncle！thankGodwithme。“
　　Theearlstoodmotionless。Strangethoughtspassedthroughhimattheirwill。Hadherpresencedispelleddarknessanddeath，andrestoredthelostchapeltothelightofday？Hadshehauntediteversince，deadyetalive，watchingforhisreturntopardonhim？
　　Wouldhiswifesoreceivehimatthelastwithforgivenessandendearment？Hiseyeswerefixeduponher。Hislipsmovedtremulouslyonceortwice，butnowordcame。Heturnedfromher，glancedroundtheplace，andsaid，“Itisagreatimprovement！”
　　Iwonderhowitwouldbewithsoulsiftheywakedupandfoundalltheirsinsbuthideousdreams！Howmanywouldloathethesin？Howmanywouldremaincapableofdoingallagain？Butfew，perhapsnoburdenedsoulscanhaveanyideaofthepowerthatliesinGod'sforgivenesstorelievetheirconsciousnessofdefilement。Thosewhosay，“EvenGodcannotdestroythefact！”caremoreabouttheirowncursedshamethantheirFather'sblessedtruth！Suchwillratherexcusethanconfess。Whenamanheartilyconfesses，leavingexcusetoGod，thetruthmakeshimfree，heknowsthattheevilhasgonefromhim，asamanknowsthatheiscuredofhisplague。
　　“Ididthething，“hesays，“butIcouldnotdoitnow。Iamthesame，yetnotthesame。Iconfess，Iwouldnothideit，butIloatheit——tentimesthemorethattheevilthingwasmine。“
　　Hadtheearlbeenabletosaythus，hewouldhavefelthissoulacleansedchapel，new-openedtothelightandair；——nay，better——afresh-wateredgarden，inwhichthefruitsofthespirithadbeguntogrow！God'sforgivenessisastheburstofaspringmorningintotheheartofwinter。Hisautumnisthepayingoftheuttermostfarthing。
　　Toletusgowithoutthatwouldbethepardonofademon，nottheforgivenessoftheeternallylovingGod。But——Notyet，alas，notyet！hastobesaidoversomanysouls！
　　Arcturawasstruckdumb。Sheturnedandwalkedoutuponthegreatstair，herunclefollowingher。Allthewayuptothesecondfloorshefeltasifhewereabouttostabherintheback，butshewouldnotlookbehindher。Shewentstraighttoherroom，andheardherunclegoontohis。Sherangherbell，sentforDonal，andtoldhimwhathadpassed。
　　“Iwillgotohim，“saidDonal。
　　Arcturasaidnothingmore，thusleavingthematterentirelyinhishands。
　　Donalfoundhimlyingonthecouch。
　　“Mylord，“hesaid，“youmustbeawareofthereasonswhyyoushouldnotpresentyourselfhere！”
　　Theearlstartedupinoneofhisreadyrages：——theywererealenough！Withepithetsofcontemptuoushatred，heorderedDonalfromtheroomandthehouse。Donalanswerednothingtilltherushofhiswrathhadabated。
　　“Mylord，“hesaid，“thereisnothingIwouldnotdotoserveyourlordship。ButIhavenochoicebuttellyouthatifyoudonotwalkout，youshallbeexpelled！”
　　“Expelled，youdog！”
　　“Expelled，mylord。Thewould-bemurdererofhishostessmustatleastbeputoutofthehouse。“
　　“Goodheavens！”criedtheearl，changinghistonewithanattemptedlaugh，“hasthepoor，hystericalgirlsucceededinpersuadingamanofyoursensetobelieveherchildishfancies？”
　　“Ibelieveeverywordmyladysays，mylord。Iknowthatyouhadnearlymurderedher。“
　　Theearlcaughtupthepokerandstruckathishead。Donalavoidedtheblow。Itfellonthemarblechimney-piece。Whilehisarmwasyetjarredbytheimpact，Donalwrenchedthepokerfromhim。
　　“Mylord，“hesaid，“withmyownhandsIdrewthestapleofthechainthatfastenedhertothebedonwhichyoulefthertodie！YouwereyetinthehousewhenIdidso。“
　　“Youdamnedrascal，youstolethekey。IfithadnotbeenforthatI
　　shouldhavegonetoheragain。Ionlywantedtobringhertoreason！”
　　“Butasyouhadlostthekey，ratherthanexposeyourcruelty，youwentaway，andlefthertoperish！Youwantedhertodieunlessyoucouldcompelhertomarryyourson，thatthetitleandpropertymightgotogether；andthatwhenwithmyownearsIheardyourlordshiptellthatsonthathehadnorighttoanytitle！”
　　“Whatamanmaysayinaragegoesfornothing，“answeredtheearl，sulkilyratherthanfiercely。
　　“Butnotwhatawomanwritesinsorrow！”rejoinedDonal。“Iknowthetruthfromthetestimonyofheryoucalledyourwife，aswellasfromyourownmouth！”
　　“Thetestimonyofthedead，andatsecondhand，willhardlybereceivedincourt！”returnedtheearl。
　　“Ifafteryourlordship'sdeath，themannowcalledlordForguedaresassumethetitleofMorven，IwillpublishwhatIknow。Inviewofthat，yourlordshiphadbetterfurnishhimwiththevouchersofhismother'smarriage。Mylord，Iagainbegyoutoleavethehouse。“
　　Theearlcasthiseyesroundthewallsasiflookingforaweapon。
　　Donaltookhimbythearm。
　　“Thereisnofartherroomforceremony，“hesaid。“Iamsorrytoberoughwithyourlordship，butyoucompelme。PleaserememberIamtheyoungerandthestrongerman。“
　　Ashespokehelettheearlfeeltheploughman'sgrasp：itwasuselesstostruggle。Hislordshipthrewhimselfonthecouch。
　　“Iwillnotleavethehouse。Iamcomehometodie，“heyelled。“I'mdyingnow，Itellyou。Icannotleavethehouse！Ihavenomoney。
　　Forguehastakenall。“
　　“Youowealargesumtotheestate！”saidDonal。
　　“Itislost——alllost，Itellyou！Ihavenowheretogoto！Iamdying！”
　　HelookedsoutterlywretchedthatDonal'sheartsmotehim。Hestoodbackalittle，andgavehimselftime。
　　“Youwouldwishthentoretire，mylord，Ipresume？”hesaid。
　　“Immediately——toberidofyou！”theearlanswered。
　　“Ifear，mylord，ifyoustay，youwillnotsoonberidofme！HaveyoubroughtSimmonswithyou？”
　　“No，damnhim！heislikealltherestofyou：hehasleftme！”
　　“Iwillhelpyoutobed，mylord。“
　　“Goaboutyourbusiness。Iwillgetmyselftobed。“
　　“Iwillnotleaveyouexceptinbed，“rejoinedDonalwithdecision；
　　andringingthebell，hedesiredtheservanttoaskmistressBrookestocometohim。
　　Shecameinstantly。Beforetheearlhadtimeeventolookather，Donalaskedhertogethislordship'sbedready：——ifshewouldnotminddoingitherself，hesaid，hewouldhelpher：hemustseehislordshiptobed。
　　Shelookedawholebookathim，butsaidnothing。Donalreturnedhergazewithoneofquietconfidence，andsheunderstoodit。Whatitsaidwas，“IknowwhatIamdoing，mistressBrookes。Myladymustnotturnhimout。Iwilltakecareofhim。“
　　“Whatareyoutwowhisperingatthere？”criedtheearl。“HereamI
　　atthepointofdeath，andyouwillnotevenletmegotobed！”
　　“Yourroomwillbereadyinafewminutes，mylord，“saidMrs。
　　Brookes；andsheandDonalwenttoworkinearnest，butwiththedooropenbetweentherooms。
　　Whenitwasready，“Now，mylord，“saidDonal，“willyoucome？”
　　“Whenyouaregone。Iwillhavenoneofyourcursedhelp！”
　　“Mylord，Iamnotgoingtoleaveyou。“
　　Withmuchgrumbling，andaveryillgrace，hislordshipsubmitted，andDonalgothimtobed。
　　“Nowputthatcabinetbymeonthetable，“hesaid。
　　Thecabinetwasthatinwhichhekepthisdrugs，andhadnotbeentouchedsinceheleftit。
　　Donalopenedthewindow，tookupthecabinet，andthrewitout。
　　Withabellowlikethatofabull，theearlsprangoutofbed，andjustasthecrashcamefrombelow，ranatDonalwherehestoodshuttingthewindow，asifhewouldhavesenthimafterthecabinet。
　　Donalcaughthimandheldhimfast。
　　“Mylord，“hesaid，“Iwillnurseyou，serveyou，doanything，everythingforyou；butforthedevilI'llbedamnedifImovehandorfoot！NotonedropofhellishstuffshallpassyourlipswhileI
　　amwithyou！”
　　“ButIamdying！Ishalldieofthehorrors！”shriekedtheearl，strugglingtogettothewindow，asifhemightyetdosomethingtosavehispreciousextracts，tinctures，essences，andcompounds。
　　“Wewillsendforthedoctor，“saidDonal。“Averycleveryoungfellowhascometothetownsinceyouleft：perhapshecanhelpyou。
　　IwilldowhatIcantomakeyougiveyourlifefairplay。“
　　“Come，come！noneofthatdamnedrubbish！Mylifeisofnoendofvaluetome！Besides，it'stoolate。IfIwereyoungnow，withaconstitutionlikeyours，andtheworldbeforeme，theremightbesomegoodinaparingortwoofself-denial；butyouwouldn'tstabyourmurdererforfearoftheclaspknifeclosingonyourhand！youwouldnotfireyourpistolathimforfearofitsburstingandblowingyourbrainsout！”
　　“Ihavenodesiretokeepyoualive，mylord；butIwouldgivemylifetoletyougetsomeofthegoodofthisworldbeforeyoupasstothenext。Tolengthenyourlifeinfinitely，Iwouldnotgiveyouasingledropofanyoneofthosecurseddrugs！”
　　Herangthebellagain。
　　“You'reafriendlyfellow！”gruntedhislordship，andwentbacktohisbedtoponderhowtogainthesolaceofhispassion。
　　Mrs。Brookescame。
　　“WillyoupleasesendtoMr。Avory，thenewsurgeon，“saidDonal，“andaskhim，inmyname，tocometothecastle。“
　　Theearlwassoill，however，astobedoubtful，muchashedesiredthem，whether，whilerenderinghimforthemomentlesssensibletothem，anyofhisdrugswoulddonootherthanincreasehissufferings。Helaywithclosedeyes，astrangeexpressionofpainmingledwithsomethinglikefeareverynowandthenpassingoverhisface。Idoubtifhisconsciencetroubledhim。Itisingeneralthose，Ithink，whothroughcomparativelysmallsinshavecometoseethetruenatureofthem，whoseconsciencestroublethemgreatly。
　　Thosewhohavegonefrombadtoworsethroughmanyyearsofmoraldecay，areseldomtroubledasothermen，orhaveanybandsintheirdeath。Hislordship，itistrue，sufferedterriblyattimesbecauseofthethingshehaddone；butitwasthroughthemediumofarousedimaginationratherthanarousedconscience：theformerdealswithconsequences；thelatterwiththedeedsthemselves。
　　HedeclaredhewouldseenodoctorbuthisoldattendantDowster，yetallthetimewaslongingfortheyoungmantoappear：hemight——whocouldtell？——savehimfromthedreadedjawsofdeath！
　　Hecame。Donalwenttohim。Hehadsummonedhim，hesaid，withouthislordship'sconsent，butbelievedhewouldseehim；theearlhadbeenlonginthehabitofusingnarcoticsandstimulants，thoughnotalcohol，hethought；hetrustedMr。Avorywouldgivehissanctiontotheentiredisuseofthem，fortheywerekillinghim，bodyandsoul。
　　“Togivethemupatonceandentirelywouldcosthimconsiderablesuffering，“saidthedoctor。
　　“Heknowsthat，anddoesnotintheleastdesiretogivethemup。Itisabsolutelynecessaryheshouldbedeliveredfromthepassion。“
　　“IfIamtoundertakethecase，itmustbeaftermyownjudgment，“
　　saidthedoctor。
　　“Youmustundertaketwothings，orgiveupthecase，“persistedDonal。
　　“Imayaswellhearwhattheyare。“
　　“Oneis，thatyoumakehisfinaldeliverancefromthehabityourobject；theother，thatyouwillgivenomedicineintohisownhands。“
　　“Iagreetoboth；butallwilldependonhisnurse。“
　　“Iwillbehisnurse。“
　　Thedoctorwenttoseehispatient。Theearlgaveoneglanceathim，recognizedfirmness，andsaidnotaword。Butwhenhewouldhaveappliedtohiswristaninstrumentrecordingincurvesthemotionsofthepulse，hewouldnotconsent。Hewouldhavenolibertiestakenwithhim，hesaid。
　　“Mylord，itisbuttoinquireintotheactionofyourheart，“saidMr。Avory。
　　“I'llhavenospyingintomyheart！Itactsjustlikeotherpeople's！”
　　Thedoctorputhisinstrumentaside，andlaidhisfingeronthepulseinstead：hisbusinesswastohelp，nottoconquer，hesaidtohimself：ifhemightnotdowhathewould，hewoulddowhathecould。
　　Whilehewaswiththeearl，DonalfoundladyArctura，andtoldherallhehaddone。Shethankedhimforunderstandingher。
　　CHAPTERLXXIX。
　　ASLOWTRANSITION。
　　Adrearytimefollowed。Sometimesthepatientwouldlieawakehalfthenight，howlingwithmisery，andaccusingDonalofheartlesscruelty。Heknewaswellashewhatwouldeasehispainandgivehimsleep，butnotafingerwouldhemovetosavehim！Hewastakingthemeanestofrevenges！Whatdiditmattertohimwhatbecameofhissoul！Surelyitwasworsetohateashemadehimhatethantoswallowanyamountofnarcotics！
　　“Itellyou，Grant，“hesaidonce，“IwasneversocrueltothoseI
　　treatedworst。There'snothinginthePersianhells，whichbeatalltherest，tocomeuptowhatIgothroughforwantofmycomfort。
　　Promisetogiveitme，andIwilltellyouwheretofindsome。“
　　AsoftenasDonalrefusedhewouldbreakoutinatorrentofcurses，thenliestillforaspace。
　　“Howdoyouthinkyouwilldowithoutit，“Donaloncerejoined，“whenyoufindyourselfbodilessintheotherworld？”
　　“I'mnotthereyet！Whenthatcomes，itwillbeundernewconditions，ifnotunconditionedaltogether。We'lltaketheworldwehave。So，mydearboy，justgoandgetmewhatIwant。Therearethekeys！”
　　“Idarenot。“
　　“Youwishtokillme！”
　　“Iwouldn'tkeepyoualivetoeatopium。Ihaveotherworkthanthat。NotafingerwouldImovetosavealifeforsuchalife。ButIwouldwillinglyriskmyowntomakeyouabletodowithoutit。
　　Therewouldbesomegoodinthat！”
　　“Oh，damnyourpreaching！”
　　Buttheforceofthehabitabatedalittle。Nowandthenitseemedtoreturnasstrongasever，butthefitwentoffagain。Hissufferingsplainlydecreased。
　　Thedoctor，havinglittleyetofapractice，wasabletobewithhimseveralhourseveryday，sothatDonalcouldliedown。Ashegrewbetter，Davie，ormistressBrookes，orladyArcturawouldsitwithhim。ButDonalwasneverfartheroffthanthenextroom。Theearl'smadnesswastheworstofany，amoralmadness：itcouldnotfailtoaffectthebrain，buthadnotyetputhimbeyondhisowncontrol。
　　RepeatedlyhadDonalbeenonthevergeofusingforcetorestrainhim，buthadnotyetfoundhimselfabsolutelycompelledtodoso：
　　fearlessofhim，hepostponeditalwaystotheverylast，andthelasthadnotyetarrived。
　　Thegentleministrationsofhisniecebyandbyseemedtotouchhim。
　　Hewasgrowingtoloveheralittle，Hewouldsmilewhenshecameintotheroom，andaskherhowshedid。Oncehesatlookingatherforsometime——thensaid，“IhopeIdidnothurtyoumuch。“
　　“When？”sheasked。
　　“Then，“heanswered。
　　“Oh，no；youdidnothurtme——much！”
　　“Anothertime，Iwasverycrueltoyouraunt：doyouthinkshewillforgiveme！”
　　“Yes，Ido。“
　　“Thenyouhaveforgivenme？”
　　“OfcourseIhave。“
　　“ThenofcourseGodwillforgivemetoo！”
　　“Hewill——ifyouleaveoff，youknow，uncle。“
　　“That'smorethanIcanpromise。“
　　“Ifyoutry，hewillhelpyou。“
　　“Howcanhe？Itisasecondnaturenow！”
　　“Heisyourfirstnature。Hecanhelpyoutoobytakingawaythebodyanditsnaturetogether。“
　　“You'reafinecomforter！Godwillhelpmetobegoodbytakingawaymylife！Aniceencouragementtotry！Hadn'tIbetterkillmyselfandsavehimthetrouble！”
　　“It'snotthedying，uncle！noamountofdyingwouldevermakeonegood。Itmightonlymakeitlessdifficulttobegood。“
　　“ButImightafterallrefusetobegood！IfeelsureIshould！Hehadbetterletmealone！”
　　“Godcandomorethanthattocompelustobegood——agreatdealmorethanthat！Indeed，uncle，wemustrepent。“
　　Hesaidnomoreforsomeminutes；thensuddenlyspokeagain。
　　“Isupposeyoumeantomarrythatrascalofatutor！”hesaid。
　　Shestartedup，andcalledDonal。Buttoherreliefhedidnotanswer：hewasfastasleep。
　　“Hewouldnotthankyouforthesuggestion，Ifear，“shesaid，sittingdownagain。“Heisfaraboveme！”
　　“IstherenochanceforForguethen？”
　　“Notthesmallest。Iwouldratherhavediedwhereyouleftmethan——“
　　“Ifyouloveme，don'tmentionthat！”hecried。“Iwasnotmyself——indeedIwasnot！Idon'tknownow——thatis，Ican'tbelievesometimesIeverdidit。“
　　“Uncle，haveyouaskedGodtoforgiveyou！”
　　“Ihave——athousandtimes。“
　　“ThenIwillneverspeakofitagain。“
　　Ingeneral，however，hewassullen，cantankerous，abusive。Theywereallcompassionatetohim，treatinghimlikeaspoiled，butnotthelessinrealityasicklychild。Arcturathoughthergrandmothercouldnothavebroughthimupwell；moremightsurelyhavebeenmadeofhim。ButArcturahadhimafteralifetimefertileincauseofself-reproach，hadhiminthenetofsoresickness，atthemercyofthespiritofGod。Hewasabadoldchild——thismuchonlythewiserforbeingold，thathehadfoundthewaysoftransgressorshard。
　　OnenightDonal，hearinghimrestless，gotupfromthechairwherehewatchedbyhimmostnights，andsawhimstaring，butnotseeing：
　　hiseyesshowedthattheyregardednothingmaterial。Afteramomenthegaveagreatsigh，andhisjawfell。Donalthoughthewasdead。
　　Butpresentlyhecametohimselflikeoneescapingfromtorture：aterribledreamwasbehindhim，pullingattheskirtsofhisconsciousness。
　　“I'veseenher！”hesaid。“She'swaitingformetotakeme——butwhereIdonotknow。Shedidnotlookangry，butthensheseldomlookedangrywhenIwasworsttoher！——Grant，Ibegofyou，don'tlosesightofDavie。Makeamanofhim，andhismotherwillthankyou。Shewasagoodwoman，hismother，thoughIdidwhatIcouldtospoilher！Itwasnouse！Inevercould！——andthatwashowshekeptherholdofme。IfIhadsucceeded，therewouldhavebeenanendofherpower，andagenuineheirtotheearldom！WhatadamnedfoolI
　　wastoletitout！Whowouldhavebeentheworse！”
　　“He'saheartless，unnaturalrascal，though，“heresumed，“andhasmadeofmethefoolIdeservedtobemade！Hismothermustseeitwasnotmyfault！IwouldhavesetthingsrightifIcould！Butitwastoolate！Andyoutellmeshehashadahandinlettingthetruthout——leavingherlettersabout！——That'ssomecomfort！Shewasalwaysfair，andwillbethelesshardonme。IfIcouldseeachanceofGodbeinghalfasgoodtomeasmypoorwife。Shewasmywife！Iwillsayitinspiteofallthepriestsinthestupiduniverse！Shewasmywife，anddeservedtobemywife；andifIhadhernow，Iwouldmarryher，becauseshewouldbefoolishenoughtolikeit，thoughIwouldnotdoitallthetimeshewasalive，letherbegeverso！Wherewastheuseofgivingin，whenIkeptherinhandsoeasilythatway？Thatwasit！ItwasnotthatIwantedtodoheranywrong。Butyoushouldkeepthelead。Amanmustn'tplayouthislasttrumpandlosethelead。Butthenyouneverknowaboutdying！IfIhadknownmypoorwifewasgoingtodie，Iwouldhavedonewhatevershewanted。Wehadmerrytimestogether！Itwasthosecurseddrugsthatwiledthesouloutofme，andthenthedevilwentinandtookitsplace！——Therewascurarainthatlastmedicine，I'llswear！——Lookyouherenow，Grant：——iftherewereanywayofpersuadingGodtogivemeafreshleaseoflife！Yousayhehearsprayer：whyshouldn'tyouaskhim？Iwouldmakeyouanypromiseyoupleased——giveyouanysecurityyouwanted，hereaftertoliveagodly，righteous，andsoberlife。“
　　“But，“saidDonal，“supposeGod，readingyourheart，sawthatyouwouldgoonasbadasever，andthattoleaveyouanylongerwouldonlybetomakeitthemoredifficultforhimtodoanythingwithyouafterwards？”
　　“Hemightgivemeachance！Itishardtoexpectapoorfellowtobeasgoodasheishimself！”
　　“Thepoorfellowwasmadeinhisimage！”suggestedDonal。
　　“Verypoorlymadethen！”saidtheearlwithasneer。“Wemightaswellhavebeenmadeinsomeotherbody'simage！”
　　Donalthoughtwithhimself。
　　Didyoueverknowagoodwoman，mylord？”heasked。
　　“Knowagoodwoman？——Hundredsofthem！——Theothersortwasmoretomytaste！buttherewasmyownmother！Shewasratherhardonmyfathernowandthen，butshewasagoodwoman。“
　　“Supposeyouhadbeeninherimage，whatthen？”
　　“Youwouldhavehadsomerespectforme！”
　　“ThenshewasnearertheimageofGodthanyou？”
　　“Thousandsofmiles！”
　　“Didyoueverknowabadwoman？”
　　“Knowabadwoman？Hundredsthatwouldtakeyourheart'sbloodasyouslepttomakeaphiltrewith！”
　　“Thenyousawadifferencebetweensuchawomanandyourmother？”
　　“Theonewasofheaven，theotherofhell——thatwasallthelittledifference！”
　　“Didyoueverknowabadwomangrowbetter？”
　　“No，never——Stop！letmesee“Ididonceknowawoman——shewasamarriedwomantoo——thatmadeitalltheworse——allthebetterI
　　mean：shetookpoison——ingoodearnest，anddied——died，sir——died，I
　　say——whenshecametoherself，andknewwhatshehaddone！ThatwastheonlywomanIeverknewthatgrewbetter。Howlongshemighthavegoneonbetterifshehadn'ttakenthepoison，Ican'ttell。Thatfixedhergood，yousee！”
　　“Ifshehadgoneon，shemighthavegotasgoodasyourmother？”
　　“Oh，hangit！no；Ididnotsaythat！”
　　“Imean，withGodteachingherallthetime——fortenthousandyears，say——andshealwaysdoingwhathetoldher！”
　　“Oh，well！Idon'tknowanythingaboutthat。Idon'tknowwhatGodhadtodowithmymotherbeingsogood！Shewasnoneofyourcantingsort！”
　　“Thereisanoldstory，“saidDonal，“ofamanwhowastheveryimageofGod，andeversomuchbetterthanthebestofwomen。“
　　“Hecouldn'thavebeenmuchofamanthen！”
　　“Wereyoueverafraid，mylord？”
　　“Yes，severaltimes——manyatime。“
　　“Thatmanneverknewwhatfearwas。“
　　“ByJove！”
　　“Hismotherwasgood，andhewasbetter：yourmotherwasgood，andyouareworse！Whosefaultisthat？”
　　“Myown；I'mnotashamedtoconfessit！”
　　“WouldtoGodyouwere！”saidDonal：“youshameyourmotherinbeingworsethanshewas。YouweremadeintheimageofGod，butyoudon'tlooklikehimnowanymorethanyoulooklikeyourmother。Ihaveafatherandmother，mylord，aslikeGodastheycanlook！”
　　“Ofcourse！ofcourse！Intheirpositiontherearenosuchtemptationsasinours！”
　　“Iamsureofonething，mylord——thatyouwillneverbeatanypeaceuntilyoubegintoshowtheimageinwhichyouweremade。Bythattimeyouwillcarefornothingsomuchasthatheshouldhavehiswaywithyouandthewholeworld。“
　　“ItwillbelongbeforeIcometothat！”
　　“Probably；butyouwillneverhaveamoment'speacetillyoubegin。
　　Itisnousetalkingthough。Godhasnotmadeyoumiserableenoughyet。“
　　“Iammoremiserablethanyoucanthink。“
　　“Whydon'tyoucrytohimtodeliveryou？”
　　“Iwouldkillmyselfifitweren'tforonething。“
　　“Itisfromyourselfhewoulddeliveryou。“
　　“Iwould，butthatIwanttoputoffseeingmywifeaslongasI
　　can。“
　　“Ithoughtyouwantedtoseeher！”
　　“Ilongforhersometimesmorethantonguecantell。“
　　“Andyoudon'twanttoseeher？”
　　“Notyet；notjustyet。Ishouldliketobealittlebetter——todosomethingorother——Idon'tknowwhat——first。Idoubtifshewouldtouchmenow——withthatsmall，firmhandshewouldcatchholdofmewithwhenIhurther。ByJove，ifshehadbeenaman，shewouldhavemadehermarkintheworld！Shehadawillandawaywithher！Ifithadn'tbeenthatshelovedme——me，doyouhear，youdog！——thoughthere'snobodylefttocareaworm-eatennutaboutme，itmakesmeproudasLucifermerelytothinkofit！Idon'tcareifthere'sneveranothertolovemetoalleternity！Ihavebeenlovedasnevermanwasloved！Allformyownsake，mindyou！InthewayofmoneyI
　　wasnogreatcatch；andfortherank，shenevergotanygoodofthat，norwouldifshehadlivedtillIwasearl；shehadaconscience——whichIneverhad——andwouldneverhaveconsentedtobecalledcountess。'Itwillbenoworsethanpassingformywifenow，'
　　Iwouldsay。'What'seitherbutanappearance？What'sanythingofallthedamnedhumbugbutappearance？Oneappearanceisasgoodasanotherappearance！'Shewouldonlysmile——smilefittomakeamulesad！Andthenwhenherbabywasdying，andshewantedmetotakeherforaminute，andIwouldn't！Shelaidherdown，andgotwhatshewantedherself，andwhenshewenttotakethechildagain，theabsurdlittlethingwas——was——gone——dead，Imeangonedead，nevertocryanymore！Thereitlaymotionless，likealumpofwhiteclay。
　　Shelookedatme——andnever——inthisworld——smiledagain！——norcriedeither——allIcoulddotomakeher！”
　　Thewretchedmanburstintotears，andtheheartofDonalgavealeapforjoy。Commonastearsare，fallastheymayforthefoolishestthings，theymayyetbesuchastocausejoyinparadise。
　　Themanhimselfmaynotknowwhyheweeps，andhistearsyetindicatehisturningonhisroad。Theearlwasasfarfromagoodmanasmanwellcouldbe；thereweremillionsofspiritualmilesbetwixthimandtheimageofGod；hehadweptitwashardtosayatwhat——notathisowncruelty，notathiswife'ssuffering，notinpityofthelittlesoulthatwentawayatlastoutofnohumanembrace；himselfleastofallcouldhavetoldwhyhewept；yetwasthatweepingsomesignofcontactbetweenhishumansoulandthegreathumansoulofGod；itwasthebeginningofapossiblecommunionwiththeFatherofall！SurelyGodsawthis，andknewthehearthehadmade——sawtheflaxsmokingyet！Hewhowillnotletusoutuntilwehavepaidtheuttermostfarthing，rejoicesovertheofferofthefirstgoldengrain。
　　Donaldroppedonhiskneesandprayed：——
　　“OFatherofusall！”hesaid，“inwhosehandsaretheseunrulyheartsofours，wecannotmanageourselves；weruinourownselves；
　　butintheeisourhelpfound！”
　　Prayerwentfromhim；herosefromhisknees。
　　“Goon；goon；don'tstop！”criedtheearl。“Hemayhearyou——whocantell！”
　　Donalwentdownonhiskneesagain。
　　“OGod！”hesaid，“thouknowestus，whetherwespeaktotheeornot；
　　takefromthismanhishardnessofheart。Makehimlovethee。“
　　Therehestoppedagain。Hecouldsaynomore。
　　“Ican'tpray，mylord，“hesaid，rising。“Idon'tknowwhy。ItseemsasifnothingIsaidmeantanything。IwillprayforyouwhenIamalone。“
　　“Aretheresomanydevilsaboutmethatanhonestfellowcan'tprayinmycompany？”criedtheearl。“Iwillpraymyself，inspiteofthewholeswarmofthem，bigandlittle！——OGod，saveme！Idon'twanttobedamned。Iwillbegoodifthouwiltmakeme。Idon'tcareaboutitmyself，butthoucanstdoasthoupleasest。Itwouldbeafinethingifarascallikemeweretoescapethedevilthroughthygoodnessafterall。I'mworthnothing，butthere'smywife！Pray，pray，LordGod，letmeonedayseemywifeagain！——ForChrist'ssake——ain'tthattheway，Grant？——Amen。“
　　Donalhaddroppedonhiskneesoncemorewhentheearlbegantopray。HeutteredaheartyAmen。Theearlturnedsharplytowardshim，andsawhewasweeping。Heputouthishandtohim，andsaid，“You'llstandmyfriend，Grant？”
　　CHAPTERLXXX。
　　AWAY-FARING。
　　SuddenlywhatstrengthladyArcturahad，gaveway，andshebegantosink。Butitwasspringwiththesummerathand；theyhopedshewouldrecoversufficientlytoberemovedtoafitterclimate。Shedidnotherselfthinkso。Shehadhardlyadoubtthathertimewascome。Shewascalm，oftencheerful，butherspiritswerevariable。
　　Donal'sheartwassorerthanhehadthoughtitcouldbeagain。
　　Oneday，havingbeenreadingalittletoher，hesatlookingather。
　　Hedidnotknowhowsadwastheexpressionofhiscountenance。Shelookedup，smiled，andsaid，“YouthinkIamunhappy！——youcouldnotlookatmelikethatifyoudidnotthinkso！Iamonlytired；Iamnotunhappy。Ihardlyknownowwhatunhappinessis！IfeverIlookasifIwereunhappy，itisonlythatIamwaitingformorelife。Itisontheway；Ifeelitis，becauseIamsocontentwitheverything；Iwouldhavenothingotherthanitis。ItisveryhardforGodthathischildrenwillnottrusthimtodowiththemwhathepleases！Iamsure，Mr。Grant，theworldisallwrong，andonthewaytobeallwondrouslyright。ItwillcostGodmuchlabouryet：wewillcosthimaslittleaswecan——won'twe？——Oh，Mr。Grant，ifithadn'tbeenforyou，Godwouldhavebeenfarawaystill！ForaGodIshouldhavehadsomethinghalfanidol，halfacommonplacetyrant！IshouldneverhavedreamedofthegloryofGod！”