AndhowsorryIwasforhimsometimes!Hewouldsitinacornerandlookatme,Iusedtofeelsosorryforhim,Iusedtowanttobekindtohimandthenwouldthinktomyself：'bekindtohimandhewilldrinkagain,'itwasonlybyseveritythatyoucouldkeephimwithinbounds。“
　　“Yes,heusedtogethishairpulledprettyoften,“roaredthecommissariatclerkagain,swallowinganotherglassofvodka。
　　“Somefoolswouldbethebetterforagooddrubbing,aswellashavingtheirhairpulled。Iamnottalkingofmylatehusbandnow！”
　　KaterinaIvanovnasnappedathim。
　　Theflushonhercheeksgrewmoreandmoremarked,herchestheaved。
　　Inanotherminuteshewouldhavebeenreadytomakeascene。Manyofthevisitorsweresniggering,evidentlydelighted。Theybeganpokingthecommissariatclerkandwhisperingsomethingtohim。Theywereevidentlytryingtoegghimon。
　　“Allowmetoaskwhatareyoualludingto,“begantheclerk,“thatistosay,whose……aboutwhom……didyousayjustnow……ButI
　　don'tcare!That'snonsense!Widow!Iforgiveyou……Pass！”
　　Andhetookanotherdrinkofvodka。
　　Raskolnikovsatinsilence,listeningwithdisgust。Heonlyatefrompoliteness,justtastingthefoodthatKaterinaIvanovnawascontinuallyputtingonhisplate,toavoidhurtingherfeelings。HewatchedSoniaintently。ButSoniabecamemoreandmoreanxiousanddistressed;she,too,foresawthatthedinnerwouldnotendpeaceably,andsawwithterrorKaterinaIvanovna'sgrowingirritation。Sheknewthatshe,Sonia,wasthechiefreasonforthe'genteel'ladies'
　　contemptuoustreatmentofKaterinaIvanovna'sinvitation。ShehadheardfromAmaliaIvanovnathatthemotherwaspositivelyoffendedattheinvitationandhadaskedthequestion：“howcouldsheletherdaughtersitdownbesidethatyoungperson？”SoniahadafeelingthatKaterinaIvanovnahadalreadyheardthisandaninsulttoSoniameantmoretoKaterinaIvanovnathananinsulttoherself,herchildren,orherfather,SoniaknewthatKaterinaIvanovnawouldnotbesatisfiednow,“tillshehadshownthosedraggletailsthattheywereboth……“TomakemattersworsesomeonepassedSonia,fromtheotherendofthetable,aplatewithtwoheartspiercedwithanarrow,cutoutofblackbread。KaterinaIvanovnaflushedcrimsonandatoncesaidaloudacrossthetablethatthemanwhosentitwas“adrunkenass！”
　　AmaliaIvanovnawasforeseeingsomethingamiss,andatthesametimedeeplywoundedbyKaterinaIvanovna'shaughtiness,andtorestorethegood-humourofthecompanyandraiseherselfintheiresteemshebegan,aproposofnothing,tellingastoryaboutanacquaintanceofhers“Karlfromthechemist's,“whowasdrivingonenightinacab,andthat“thecabmanwantedhimtokill,andKarlverymuchbeggedhimnottokill,andweptandclaspedhands,andfrightenedandfromfearpiercedhisheart。“ThoughKaterinaIvanovnasmiled,sheobservedatoncethatAmaliaIvanovnaoughtnottotellanecdotesinRussian;
　　thelatterwasstillmoreoffended,andsheretortedthather“VaterausBerlinwasaveryimportantman,andalwayswentwithhishandsinpockets。“KaterinaIvanovnacouldnotrestrainherselfandlaughedsomuchthatAmaliaIvanovnalostpatienceandcouldscarcelycontrolherself。
　　“Listentotheowl！”KaterinaIvanovnawhisperedatonce,hergood-humouralmostrestored,“shemeanttosayhekepthishandsinhispockets,butshesaidheputhishandsinpeople'spockets。
　　Cough-cough。Andhaveyounoticed,RodionRomanovitch,thatallthesePetersburgforeigners,theGermansespecially,areallstupiderthanwe!Canyoufancyanyoneofustellinghow'Karlfromthechemist'spiercedhisheartfromfear'andthattheidiotinsteadofpunishingthecabman,'claspedhishandsandwept,andmuchbegged。'Ah,thefool!Andyouknowshefanciesit'sverytouchinganddoesnotsuspecthowstupidsheis!Tomythinkingthatdrunkencommissariatclerkisagreatdealcleverer,anywayonecanseethathehasaddledhisbrainswithdrink,butyouknow,theseforeignersarealwayssowellbehavedandserious……Lookhowshesitsglaring!Sheisangry,ha-ha!Cough-cough-cough。“
　　Regaininghergood-humour,KaterinaIvanovnabeganatoncetellingRaskolnikovthatwhenshehadobtainedherpension,sheintendedtoopenaschoolforthedaughtersofgentlemeninhernativetownT___。Thiswasthefirsttimeshehadspokentohimoftheproject,andshelaunchedoutintothemostalluringdetails。ItsuddenlyappearedthatKaterinaIvanovnahadinherhandstheverycertificateofhonourofwhichMarmeladovhadspokentoRaskolnikovinthetavern,whenhetoldhimthatKaterinaIvanovna,hiswife,haddancedtheshawldancebeforethegovernorandothergreatpersonagesonleavingschool。ThiscertificateofhonourwasobviouslyintendednowtoproveKaterinaIvanovna'srighttoopenaboarding-school;butshehadarmedherselfwithitchieflywiththeobjectofoverwhelming“thosetwostuck-updraggletails“iftheycametothedinner,andprovingincontestablythatKaterinaIvanovnawasofthemostnoble,“shemightevensayaristocraticfamily,acolonel'sdaughterandwasfarsuperiortocertainadventuresseswhohavebeensomuchtotheforeoflate。“Thecertificateofhonourimmediatelypassedintothehandsofthedrunkenguests,andKaterinaIvanovnadidnottrytoretainit,foritactuallycontainedthestatemententouteslettres,thatherfatherwasoftherankofamajor,andalsoacompanionofanorder,sothatshereallywasalmostthedaughterofacolonel。
　　Warmingup,KaterinaIvanovnaproceededtoenlargeonthepeacefulandhappylifetheywouldleadinT___,onthegymnasiumteacherswhomshewouldengagetogivelessonsinherboarding-school,oneamostrespectableoldFrenchman,oneMangot,whohadtaughtKaterinaIvanovnaherselfinolddaysandwasstilllivinginT___,andwouldnodoubtteachinherschoolonmoderateterms。NextshespokeofSoniawhowouldgowithhertoT___andhelpherinallherplans。
　　Atthissomeoneatthefurtherendofthetablegaveasuddenguffaw。
　　ThoughKaterinaIvanovnatriedtoappeartobedisdainfullyunawareofit,sheraisedhervoiceandbeganatoncespeakingwithconvictionofSonia'sundoubtedabilitytoassisther,of“hergentleness,patience,devotion,generosityandgoodeducation,“
　　tappingSoniaonthecheekandkissingherwarmlytwice。Soniaflushedcrimson,andKaterinaIvanovnasuddenlyburstintotears,immediatelyobservingthatshewas“nervousandsilly,thatshewastoomuchupset,thatitwastimetofinish,andasthedinnerwasover,itwastimetohandroundthetea。“
　　Atthatmoment,AmaliaIvanovna,deeplyaggrievedattakingnopartintheconversation,andnotbeinglistenedto,madeonelasteffort,andwithsecretmisgivingsventuredonanexceedinglydeepandweightyobservation,that“inthefutureboarding-schoolshewouldhavetopayparticularattentiontodieWasche,andthattherecertainlymustbeagoodDametolookafterthelinen,andsecondlythattheyoungladiesmustnotnovelsatnightread。“
　　KaterinaIvanovna,whocertainlywasupsetandverytired,aswellasheartilysickofthedinner,atoncecutshortAmaliaIvanovna,saying“sheknewnothingaboutitandwastalkingnonsense,thatitwasthebusinessofthelaundrymaid,andnotofthedirectressofahigh-classboarding-schooltolookafterdieWasche,andasfornovelreading,thatwassimplyrudeness,andshebeggedhertobesilent。“AmaliaIvanovnafiredupandgettingangryobservedthatsheonly“meanthergood,“andthat“shehadmeantherverygood,“andthat“itwaslongsinceshehadpaidherGoldforthelodgings。“
　　KaterinaIvanovnaatonce“setherdown,“sayingthatitwasalietosayshewishedhergood,becauseonlyyesterdaywhenherdeadhusbandwaslyingonthetable,shehadworriedheraboutthelodgings。TothisAmaliaIvanovnaveryappropriatelyobservedthatshehadinvitedthoseladies,but“thoseladieshadnotcome,becausethoseladiesareladiesandcannotcometoaladywhoisnotalady。“KaterinaIvanovnaatoncepointedouttoher,thatasshewasaslutshecouldnotjudgewhatmadeonereallyalady。AmaliaIvanovnaatoncedeclaredthather“VaterausBerlinwasavery,veryimportantman,andbothhandsinpocketswent,andalwaysusedtosay：poof!poof！”andsheleaptupfromthetabletorepresentherfather,stickingherhandsinherpockets,puffinghercheeks,andutteringvaguesoundsresembling“poof!poof！”amidloudlaughterfromallthelodgers,whopurposelyencouragedAmaliaIvanovna,hopingforafight。
　　ButthiswastoomuchforKaterinaIvanovna,andsheatoncedeclared,sothatallcouldhear,thatAmaliaIvanovnaprobablyneverhadafather,butwassimplyadrunkenPetersburgFinn,andhadcertainlyoncebeenacookandprobablysomethingworse。AmaliaIvanovnaturnedasredasalobsterandsquealedthatperhapsKaterinaIvanovnaneverhadafather,“butshehadavaterausBerlinandthatheworealongcoatandalwayssaidpoof-poof-poof！”
　　KaterinaIvanovnaobservedcontemptuouslythatallknewwhatherfamilywasandthatonthatverycertificateofhonouritwasstatedinprintthatherfatherwasacolonel,whileAmaliaIvanovna'sfather-ifshereallyhadone-wasprobablysomeFinnishmilkman,butthatprobablysheneverhadafatheratall,sinceitwasstilluncertainwhetherhernamewasAmaliaIvanovnaorAmaliaLudwigovna。
　　AtthisAmaliaIvanovna,lashedtofury,struckthetablewithherfist,andshriekedthatshewasAmaliaIvanovna,andnotLudwigovna,“thatherVaterwasnamedJohannandthathewasaburgomeister,andthatKaterinaIvanovna'sVaterwasquiteneveraburgomeister。“
　　KaterinaIvanovnarosefromherchair,andwithasternandapparentlycalmvoicethoughshewaspaleandherchestwasheavingobservedthat“ifshedaredforonemomenttosethercontemptiblewretchofafatheronalevelwithherpapa,she,KaterinaIvanovna,wouldtearhercapoffherheadandtrampleitunderfoot。“AmaliaIvanovnaranabouttheroom,shoutingatthetopofhervoice,thatshewasmistressofthehouseandthatKaterinaIvanovnashouldleavethelodgingsthatminute;thensherushedforsomereasontocollectthesilverspoonsfromthetable。Therewasagreatoutcryanduproar,thechildrenbegancrying。SoniarantorestrainKaterinaIvanovna,butwhenAmaliaIvanovnashoutedsomethingabout“theyellowticket,“KaterinaIvanovnapushedSoniaaway,andrushedatthelandladytocarryoutherthreat。
　　Atthatminutethedooropened,andPyotrPetrovitchLuzhinappearedonthethreshold。Hestoodscanningthepartywithsevereandvigilanteyes。KaterinaIvanovnarushedtohim。
　　ChapterThree“PYOTRPETROVITCH,“shecried,“protectme……youatleast!Makethisfoolishwomanunderstandthatshecan'tbehavelikethistoaladyinmisfortune……thatthereisalawforsuchthings……I'llgotothegovernor-generalhimself……Sheshallanswerforit……
　　Rememberingmyfather'shospitalityprotecttheseorphans。“
　　“Allowme,madam……Allowme。“PyotrPetrovitchwavedheroff。
　　“Yourpapa,asyouarewellaware,Ihadnotthehonourofknowing“
　　someonelaughedaloud“andIdonotintendtotakepartinyoureverlastingsquabbleswithAmaliaIvanovna……Ihavecomeheretospeakofmyownaffairs……andIwanttohaveawordwithyourstepdaughter,Sofya……Ivanovna,Ithinkitis?Allowmetopass。“
　　PyotrPetrovitch,edgingbyher,wenttotheoppositecornerwhereSoniawas。
　　KaterinaIvanovnaremainedstandingwhereshewas,asthoughthunderstruck。ShecouldnotunderstandhowPyotrPetrovitchcoulddenyhavingenjoyedherfather'shospitility。Thoughshehadinventeditherself,shebelievedinitfirmlybythistime。Shewasstrucktoobythebusinesslike,dryandevencontemptuouslymenacingtoneofPyotrPetrovitch。Alltheclamourgraduallydiedawayathisentrance。Notonlywasthis“seriousbusinessman“strikinglyincongruouswiththerestoftheparty,butitwasevident,too,thathehadcomeuponsomematterofconsequence,thatsomeexceptionalcausemusthavebroughthimandthatthereforesomethingwasgoingtohappen。Raskolnikov,standingbesideSonia,movedasidetolethimpass;PyotrPetrovitchdidnotseemtonoticehim。AminutelaterLebeziatnikov,too,appearedinthedoorway;hedidnotcomein,butstoodstill,listeningwithmarkedinterest,almostwonder,andseemedforatimeperplexed。
　　“Excusemeforpossiblyinterruptingyou,butit'samatterofsomeimportance,“PyotrPetrovitchobserved,addressingthecompanygenerally。“Iamgladindeedtofindotherpersonspresent。AmaliaIvanovna,IhumblybegyouasmistressofthehousetopaycarefulattentiontowhatIhavetosaytoSofyaIvanovna。SofyaIvanovna,“hewenton,addressingSonia,whowasverymuchsurprisedandalreadyalarmed,“immediatelyafteryourvisitIfoundthatahundred-roublenotewasmissingfrommytable,intheroomofmyfriendMr。
　　Lebeziatnikov。Ifinanywaywhateveryouknowandwilltelluswhereitisnow,Iassureyouonmywordofhonourandcallallpresenttowitnessthatthemattershallendthere。IntheoppositecaseIshallbecompelledtohaverecoursetoveryseriousmeasuresandthen……youmustblameyourself。“
　　Completesilencereignedintheroom。Eventhecryingchildrenwerestill。Soniastooddeadlypale,staringatLuzhinandunabletosayaword。Sheseemednottounderstand。Somesecondspassed。
　　“Well,howisittobethen？”askedLuzhin,lookingintentlyather。
　　“Idon'tknow……Iknownothingaboutit,“Soniaarticulatedfaintlyatlast。
　　“No,youknownothing？”Luzhinrepeatedandagainhepausedforsomeseconds。“Thinkamoment,mademoiselle,“hebeganseverely,butstill,asitwere,admonishingher。“Reflect,Iampreparedtogiveyoutimeforconsideration。Kindlyobservethis：ifIwerenotsoentirelyconvincedIshouldnot,youmaybesure,withmyexperienceventuretoaccuseyousodirectly。Seeingthatforsuchdirectaccusationbeforewitnesses,iffalseorevenmistaken,Ishouldmyselfinacertainsensebemaderesponsible,Iamawareofthat。ThismorningIchangedformyownpurposesseveralfivepercent。securitiesforthesumofapproximatelythreethousandroubles。Theaccountisnoteddowninmypocket-book。OnmyreturnhomeIproceededtocountthemoney,-asMr。Lebeziatnikovwillbearwitness-andaftercountingtwothousandthreehundredroublesIputtherestinmypocket-bookinmycoatpocket。Aboutfivehundredroublesremainedonthetableandamongthemthreenotesofahundredroubleseach。Atthatmomentyouenteredatmyinvitation-andallthetimeyouwerepresentyouwereexceedinglyembarrassed;sothatthreetimesyoujumpedupinthemiddleoftheconversationandtriedtomakeoff。Mr。Lebeziatnikovcanbearwitnesstothis。Youyourself,mademoiselle,probablywillnotrefusetoconfirmmystatementthatIinvitedyouthroughMr。
　　Lebeziatnikov,solelyinordertodiscusswithyouthehopelessanddestitutepositionofyourrelative,KaterinaIvanovnawhosedinnerI
　　wasunabletoattend,andtheadvisabilityofgettingupsomethingofthenatureofasubscription,lotteryorthelike,forherbenefit。
　　Youthankedmeandevenshedtears。Idescribeallthisasittookplace,primarilytorecallittoyourmindandsecondlytoshowyouthatnottheslightestdetailhasescapedmyrecollection。ThenItookaten-roublenotefromthetableandhandedittoyoubywayoffirstinstalmentonmypartforthebenefitofyourrelative。Mr。
　　Lebeziatnikovsawallthis。ThenIaccompaniedyoutothedoor,-youbeingstillinthesamestateofembarrassment-afterwhich,beingleftalonewithMr。LebeziatnikovItalkedtohimfortenminutes,-
　　thenMr。LebeziatnikovwentoutandIreturnedtothetablewiththemoneylyingonit,intendingtocountitandtoputitaside,asI
　　proposeddoingbefore。Tomysurpriseonehundred-roublenotehaddisappeared。Kindlyconsidertheposition。Mr。LebeziatnikovI
　　cannotsuspect。Iamashamedtoalludetosuchasupposition。Icannothavemadeamistakeinmyreckoning,fortheminutebeforeyourentranceIhadfinishedmyaccountsandfoundthetotalcorrect。Youwilladmitthatrecollectingyourembarrassment,youreagernesstogetawayandthefactthatyoukeptyourhandsforsometimeonthetable,andtakingintoconsiderationyoursocialpositionandthehabitsassociatedwithit,Iwas,sotosay,withhorrorandpositivelyagainstmywill,compelledtoentertainasuspicion-acruel,butjustifiablesuspicion!Iwilladdfurtherandrepeatthatinspiteofmypositiveconviction,IrealisethatIrunacertainriskinmakingthisaccusation,butasyousee,Icouldnotletitpass。I
　　havetakenactionandIwilltellyouwhy：solely,madam,solely,owingtoyourblackingratitude!Why!Iinviteyouforthebenefitofyourdestituterelative,Ipresentyouwithmydonationoftenroublesandyou,onthespot,repaymeforallthatwithsuchanaction。Itistoobad!Youneedalesson。Reflect!Moreover,likeatruefriendIbegyou-andyoucouldhavenobetterfriendatthismoment-thinkwhatyouaredoing,otherwiseIshallbeimmovable!
　　Well,whatdoyousay？”
　　“Ihavetakennothing,“Soniawhisperedinterror,“yougavemetenroubles,hereitis,takeit。“
　　Soniapulledherhandkerchiefoutofherpocket,untiedacornerofit,tookoutthetenroublenoteandgaveittoLuzhin。
　　“Andthehundredroublesyoudonotconfesstotaking？”heinsistedreproachfully,nottakingthenote。
　　Sonialookedabouther。Allwerelookingatherwithsuchawful,stern,ironical,hostileeyes。ShelookedatRaskolnikov……hestoodagainstthewall,withhisarmscrossed,lookingatherwithglowingeyes。
　　“GoodGod！”brokefromSonia。
　　“AmaliaIvanovna,weshallhavetosendwordtothepoliceandthereforeIhumblybegyoumeanwhiletosendforthehouseporter,“
　　Luzhinsaidsoftlyandevenkindly。
　　“Gottderbarmherzige!Iknewshewasthethief,“criedAmaliaIvanovna,throwingupherhands。
　　“Youknewit？”Luzhincaughtherup,“thenIsupposeyouhadsomereasonbeforethisforthinkingso。Ibegyou,worthyAmaliaIvanovna,torememberyourwordswhichhavebeenutteredbeforewitnesses。“
　　Therewasabuzzofloudconversationonallsides。Allwereinmovement。
　　“What！”criedKaterinaIvanovna,suddenlyrealisingtheposition,andsherushedatLuzhin。“What!Youaccuseherofstealing?Sonia?
　　Ah,thewretches,thewretches！”
　　AndrunningtoSoniasheflungherwastedarmsroundherandheldherasinavise。
　　“Sonia!howdaredyoutaketenroublesfromhim?Foolishgirl!
　　Giveittome!Givemethetenroublesatonce-here!
　　AndsnatchingthenotefromSonia,KaterinaIvanovnacrumpleditupandflungitstraightintoLuzhin'sface。Ithithimintheeyeandfellontheground。AmaliaIvanovnahastenedtopickitup。PyotrPetrovitchlosthistemper。
　　“Holdthatmadwoman！”heshouted。
　　Atthatmomentseveralotherpersons,besidesLebeziatnikov,appearedinthedoorway,amongthemthetwoladies。
　　“What!Mad?AmImad?Idiot！”shriekedKaterinaIvanovna。“Youareanidiotyourself,pettifogginglawyer,baseman!Sonia,Soniatakehismoney!Soniaathief!Why,she'dgiveawayherlastpenny！”andKaterinaIvanovnabrokeintohystericallaughter。“Didyoueverseesuchanidiot？”sheturnedfromsidetoside。“Andyoutoo？”shesuddenlysawthelandlady,“andyoutoo,sausageeater,youdeclarethatsheisathief,youtrashyPrussianhen'sleginacrinoline!Shehasn'tbeenoutofthisroom：shecamestraightfromyou,youwretch,andsatdownbesideme,everyonesawher。Shesathere,byRodionRomanovitch。Searchher!Sinceshe'snotlefttheroom,themoneywouldhavetobeonher!Searchher,searchher!Butifyoudon'tfindit,thenexcuseme,mydearfellow,you'llanswerforit!
　　I'llgotoourSovereign,toourSovereign,toourgraciousTsarhimself,andthrowmyselfathisfeet,to-day,thisminute!Iamaloneintheworld!Theywouldletmein!Doyouthinktheywouldn't?You'rewrong,Iwillgetin!Iwillgetin!Youreckonedonhermeekness!Yourelieduponthat!ButIamnotsosubmissive,letmetellyou!
　　You'vegonetoofaryourself。Searchher,searchher！”
　　AndKaterinaIvanovnainafrenzyshookLuzhinanddraggedhimtowardsSonia。
　　“Iamready,I'llberesponsible……butcalmyourself,madam,calmyourself。Iseethatyouarenotsosubmissive!……Well,well,butastothat……“Luzhinmuttered,“thatoughttobebeforethepolice……
　　thoughindeedtherearewitnessesenoughasitis……Iamready……
　　Butinanycaseit'sdifficultforaman……onaccountofhersex……ButwiththehelpofAmaliaIvanovna……though,ofcourse,it'snotthewaytodothings……Howisittobedone？”
　　“Asyouwill!Letanyonewholikessearchher！”criedKaterinaIvanovna。“Sonia,turnoutyourpockets!See。Look,monster,thepocketisempty,herewasherhandkerchief!Hereistheotherpocket,look!D'yousee,d'yousee？”
　　AndKaterinaIvanovnaturned-orrathersnatched-bothpocketsinsideout。ButfromtherightpocketapieceofpaperflewoutanddescribingaparabolaintheairfellatLuzhin'sfeet。Everyonesawit,severalcriedout。PyotrPetrovitchstoopeddown,pickedupthepaperintwofingers,lifteditwhereallcouldseeitandopenedit。Itwasahundred-roublenotefoldedineight。PyotrPetrovitchheldupthenoteshowingittoeveryone。
　　“Thief!Outofmylodging。Police,police！”yelledAmaliaIvanovna。“TheymusttoSiberiabesent!Away！”
　　Exclamationsaroseonallsides。Raskolnikovwassilent,keepinghiseyesfixedonSonia,exceptforanoccasionalrapidglanceatLuzhin。Soniastoodstill,asthoughunconscious。Shewashardlyabletofeelsurprise。Suddenlythecolourrushedtohercheeks;sheutteredacryandhidherfaceinherhands。
　　“No,itwasn'tI!Ididn'ttakeit!Iknownothingaboutit,“shecriedwithaheartrendingwail,andsherantoKaterinaIvanovna,whoclaspedhertightlyinherarms,asthoughshewouldshelterherfromalltheworld。
　　“Sonia!Sonia!Idon'tbelieveit!Yousee,Idon'tbelieveit！”shecriedinthefaceoftheobviousfact,swayinghertoandfroinherarmslikeababy,kissingherfacecontinually,thensnatchingatherhandsandkissingthem,too。“Youtookit!Howstupidthesepeopleare!Ohdear!Youarefools,fools,“shecried,addressingthewholeroom,“youdon'tknow,youdon'tknowwhataheartshehas,whatagirlsheis!Shetakeit,she?She'dsellherlastrag,she'dgobarefoottohelpyouifyouneededit,that'swhatsheis!Shehastheyellowpassportbecausemychildrenwerestarving,shesoldherselfforus!Ah,husband,husband!Doyousee?Doyousee?Whatamemorialdinnerforyou!Mercifulheavens!Defendher,whyareyouallstandingstill?RodionRomanovitch,whydon'tyoustandupforher?Doyoubelieveit,too?Youarenotworthherlittlefinger,allofyoutogether!GoodGod!Defendhernow,atleast！”
　　Thewailofthepoor,consumptive,helplesswomanseemedtoproduceagreateffectonheraudience。Theagonised,wasted,consumptiveface,theparchedblood-stainedlips,thehoarsevoice,thetearsunrestrainedasachild's,thetrustful,childishandyetdespairingprayerforhelpweresopiteousthateveryoneseemedtofeelforher。PyotrPetrovitchatanyratewasatoncemovedtocompassion。
　　“Madam,madam,thisincidentdoesnotreflectuponyou！”hecriedimpressively,“noonewouldtakeuponhimselftoaccuseyouofbeinganinstigatororevenanaccompliceinit,especiallyasyouhaveprovedherguiltbyturningoutherpockets,showingthatyouhadnopreviousideaofit。Iammostready,mostreadytoshowcompassion,ifpoverty,sotospeak,droveSofyaSemyonovnatoit,butwhydidyourefusetoconfess,mademoiselle?Wereyouafraidofthedisgrace?
　　Thefirststep?Youlostyourhead,perhaps?Onecanquiteunderstandit……Buthowcouldyouhaveloweredyourselftosuchanaction?Gentlemen,“headdressedthewholecompany,“gentlemen!
　　Compassionateandsotosaycommiseratingthesepeople,Iamreadytooverlookitevennowinspiteofthepersonalinsultlavisheduponme!Andmaythisdisgracebealessontoyouforthefuture,“
　　hesaid,addressingSonia,“andIwillcarrythematternofurther。
　　Enough！”
　　PyotrPetrovitchstoleaglanceatRaskolnikov。Theireyesmet,andthefireinRaskolnikov'sseemedreadytoreducehimtoashes。
　　MeanwhileKaterinaIvanovnaapparentlyheardnothing。ShewaskissingandhuggingSonialikeamadwoman。Thechildren,too,wereembracingSoniaonallsides,andPolenka,-thoughshedidnotfullyunderstandwhatwaswrong,-wasdrownedintearsandshakingwithsobs,asshehidherprettylittleface,swollenwithweeping,onSonia'sshoulder。
　　“Howvile！”aloudvoicecriedsuddenlyinthedoorway。
　　PyotrPetrovitchlookedroundquickly。
　　“Whatvileness！”Lebeziatnikovrepeated,staringhimstraightintheface。
　　PyotrPetrovitchgaveapositivestart-allnoticeditandrecalleditafterwards。Lebeziatnikovstrodeintotheroom。
　　“Andyoudaredtocallmeaswitness？”hesaid,goinguptoPyotrPetrovitch。
　　“Whatdoyoumean?Whatareyoutalkingabout？”mutteredLuzhin。
　　“Imeanthatyou……areaslanderer,that'swhatmywordsmean！”
　　Lebeziatnikovsaidhotly,lookingsternlyathimwithhisshortsightedeyes。
　　Hewasextremelyangry。Raskolnikovgazedintentlyathim,asthoughseizingandweighingeachword。Againtherewasasilence。PyotrPetrovitchindeedseemedalmostdumbfoundedforthefirstmoment。
　　“Ifyoumeanthatforme,……“hebegan,stammering。“Butwhat'sthematterwithyou?Areyououtofyourmind？”
　　“I'minmymind,butyouareascoundrel!Ah,howvile!Ihaveheardeverything。Ikeptwaitingonpurposetounderstandit,forImustownevennowitisnotquitelogical……WhatyouhavedoneitallforI
　　can'tunderstand。“
　　“Why,whathaveIdonethen?Giveovertalkinginyournonsensicalriddles!Ormaybeyouaredrunk！”
　　“Youmaybeadrunkard,perhaps,vileman,butIamnot!Inevertouchvodka,forit'sagainstmyconvictions。Wouldyoubelieveit,he,hehimself,withhisownhandsgaveSofyaSemyonovnathathundred-roublenote-Isawit,Iwasawitness,I'lltakemyoath!
　　Hedidit,he！”repeatedLebeziatnikov,addressingall。
　　“Areyoucrazy,milksop？”squealedLuzhin。“Sheisherselfbeforeyou,-sheherselfheredeclaredjustnowbeforeeveryonethatI
　　gaveheronlytenroubles。HowcouldIhavegivenittoher？”
　　“Isawit,Isawit,“Lebeziatnikovrepeated,“andalthoughitisagainstmyprinciples,Iamreadythisveryminutetotakeanyoathyoulikebeforethecourt,forIsawhowyouslippeditinherpocket。
　　OnlylikeafoolIthoughtyoudiditoutofkindness!Whenyouweresayinggood-byetoheratthedoor,whileyouheldherhandinonehand,withtheother,theleft,youslippedthenoteintoherpocket。Isawit,Isawit！”
　　Luzhinturnedpale。
　　“Whatlies！”hecriedimpudently,“why,howcouldyou,standingbythewindow,seethenote!Youfancieditwithyourshortsightedeyes。Youareraving！”
　　“No,Ididn'tfancyit。AndthoughIwasstandingsomewayoff,I
　　sawitall。Andthoughitcertainlywouldbehardtodistinguishanotefromthewindow,-that'strue-Iknewforcertainthatitwasahundred-roublenote,because,whenyouweregoingtogiveSofyaSemyonovnatenroubles,youtookupfromthetableahundred-roublenoteIsawitbecauseIwasstandingnearthen,andanideastruckmeatonce,sothatIdidnotforgetyouhaditinyourhand。Youfoldeditandkeptitinyourhandallthetime。Ididn'tthinkofitagainuntil,whenyouweregettingup,youchangeditfromyourrighthandtoyourleftandnearlydroppedit!Inoticeditbecausethesameideastruckmeagain,thatyoumeanttodoherakindnesswithoutmyseeing。YoucanfancyhowIwatchedyouandIsawhowyousucceededinslippingitintoherpocket。Isawit,Isawit,I'lltakemyoath。“
　　Lebeziatnikovwasalmostbreathless。Exclamationsaroseonallhandschieflyexpressiveofwonder,butsomeweremenacingintone。TheyallcrowdedroundPyotrPetrovitch。KaterinaIvanovnaflewtoLebeziatnikov。
　　“Iwasmistakeninyou!Protecther!Youaretheonlyonetotakeherpart!Sheisanorphan。Godhassentyou！”
　　KaterinaIvanovna,hardlyknowingwhatshewasdoing,sankonherkneesbeforehim。
　　“Apackofnonsense！”yelledLuzhin,rousedtofury,“it'sallnonsenseyou'vebeentalking!'Anideastruckyou,youdidn'tthink,younoticed'-whatdoesitamountto?SoIgaveittoherontheslyonpurpose?Whatfor?Withwhatobject?WhathaveItodowiththis……？”
　　“Whatfor?That'swhatIcan'tunderstand,butthatwhatIamtellingyouisthefact,that'scertain!Sofarfrommybeingmistaken,youinfamous,criminalman,Irememberhow,onaccountofit,aquestionoccurredtomeatonce,justwhenIwasthankingyouandpressingyourhand。Whatmadeyouputitsecretlyinherpocket?
　　Whyyoudiditsecretly,Imean?Coulditbesimplytoconcealitfromme,knowingthatmyconvictionsareopposedtoyoursandthatIdonotapproveofprivatebenevolence,whicheffectsnoradicalcure?Well,I
　　decidedthatyoureallywereashamedofgivingsuchalargesumbeforeme。Perhaps,too,Ithought,hewantstogiveherasurprise,whenshefindsawholehundred-roublenoteinherpocket。ForIknowsomebenevolentpeopleareveryfondofdeckingouttheircharitableactionsinthatway。Thentheideastruckme,too,thatyouwantedtotesther,toseewhether,whenshefoundit,shewouldcometothankyou。Then,too,thatyouwantedtoavoidthanksandthat,asthesayingis,yourrighthandshouldnotknow……somethingofthatsort,infact。IthoughtofsomanypossibilitiesthatIputoffconsideringit,butstillthoughtitindelicatetoshowyouIknewyoursecret。ButanotherideastruckmeagainthatSofyaSemyonovnamighteasilylosethemoneybeforeshenoticedit,thatwaswhyI
　　decidedtocomeinheretocallheroutoftheroomandtotellherthatyouputahundredroublesinherpocket。ButonmywayIwentfirsttoMadameKobilatnikov'stotakethemthe'GeneralTreatiseonthePositiveMethod'andespeciallytorecommendPiderit'sarticleandalsoWagner's;thenIcomeonhereandwhatastateofthingsIfind!NowcouldI,couldI,havealltheseideasandreflections,ifIhadnotseenyouputthehundred-roublenoteinherpocket？”
　　WhenLebeziatnikovfinishedhislong-windedharanguewiththelogicaldeductionattheend,hewasquitetired,andtheperspirationstreamedfromhisface。Hecouldnot,alas,evenexpresshimselfcorrectlyinRussian,thoughheknewnootherlanguage,sothathewasquiteexhausted,almostemaciatedafterthisheroicexploit。Buthisspeechproducedapowerfuleffect。Hehadspokenwithsuchvehemence,withsuchconvictionthateveryoneobviouslybelievedhim。
　　PyotrPetrovitchfeltthatthingsweregoingbadlywithhim。
　　“Whatisittodowithmeifsillyideasdidoccurtoyou？”heshouted,“that'snoevidence。Youmayhavedreamtit,that'sall!
　　AndItellyou,youarelying,sir。Youarelyingandslanderingfromsomespiteagainstme,simplyfrompique,becauseIdidnotagreewithyourfreethinking,godless,socialpropositions！”
　　ButthisretortdidnotbenefitPyotrPetrovitch。Murmursofdisapprovalwereheardonallsides。
　　“Ah,that'syourlinenow,isit！”criedLebeziatnikov,“that'snonsense!CallthepoliceandI'lltakemyoath!There'sonlyonethingIcan'tunderstand：whatmadehimrisksuchacontemptibleaction。Oh,pitiful,despicableman！”
　　“Icanexplainwhyheriskedsuchanaction,andifnecessary,I,too,willsweartoit,“Raskolnikovsaidatlastinafirmvoice,andhesteppedforward。
　　Heappearedtobefirmandcomposed。Everyonefeltclearly,fromtheverylookofhimthathereallyknewaboutitandthatthemysterywouldbesolved。
　　“NowIcanexplainitalltomyself,“saidRaskolnikov,addressingLebeziatnikov。“Fromtheverybeginningofthebusiness,Isuspectedthattherewassomescoundrellyintrigueatthebottomofit。I
　　begantosuspectitfromsomespecialcircumstancesknowntomeonly,whichIwillexplainatoncetoeveryone：theyaccountforeverything。Yourvaluableevidencehasfinallymadeeverythingcleartome。Ibegall,alltolisten。ThisgentlemanhepointedtoLuzhin
　　wasrecentlyengagedtobemarriedtoayounglady-mysister,AvdotyaRomanovnaRaskolnikov。ButcomingtoPetersburghequarrelledwithme,thedaybeforeyesterday,atourfirstmeetingandIdrovehimoutofmyroom-Ihavetwowitnessestoproveit。Heisaveryspitefulman……ThedaybeforeyesterdayIdidnotknowthathewasstayinghere,inyourroom,andthatconsequentlyontheverydaywequarrelled-thedaybeforeyesterday-hesawmegiveKaterinaIvanovnasomemoneyforthefuneral,asafriendofthelateMr。Marmeladov。HeatoncewroteanotetomymotherandinformedherthatIhadgivenawayallmymoney,nottoKaterinaIvanovna,buttoSofyaSemyonovna,andreferredinamostcontemptiblewaytothe……
　　characterofSofyaSemyonovna,thatis,hintedatthecharacterofmyattitudetoSofyaSemyonovna。Allthisyouunderstandwaswiththeobjectofdividingmefrommymotherandsister,byinsinuatingthatIwassquanderingonunworthyobjectsthemoneywhichtheyhadsentmeandwhichwasalltheyhad。Yesterdayevening,beforemymotherandsisterandinhispresence,IdeclaredthatIhadgiventhemoneytoKaterinaIvanovnaforthefuneralandnottoSofyaSemyonovnaandthatIhadnoacquaintancewithSofyaSemyonovnaandhadneverseenherbefore,indeed。AtthesametimeIaddedthathe,PyotrPetrovitchLuzhin,withallhisvirtueswasnotworthSofyaSemyonovna'slittlefinger,thoughhespokesoillofher。Tohisquestion-wouldIletSofyaSemyonovnasitdownbesidemysister,I
　　answeredthatIhadalreadydonesothatday。Irritatedthatmymotherandsisterwereunwillingtoquarrelwithmeathisinsinuations,hegraduallybeganbeingunpardonablyrudetothem。Afinalrupturetookplaceandhewasturnedoutofthehouse。Allthishappenedyesterdayevening。NowIbegyourspecialattention：consider：ifhehadnowsucceededinprovingthatSofyaSemyonovnawasathief,hewouldhaveshowntomymotherandsisterthathewasalmostrightinhissuspicions,thathehadreasontobeangryatmyputtingmysisteronalevelwithSofyaSemyonovna,that,inattackingme,hewasprotectingandpreservingthehonourofmysister,hisbetrothed。Infacthemighteven,throughallthis,havebeenabletoestrangemefrommyfamily,andnodoubthehopedtoberestoredtofavourwiththem;tosaynothingofrevenginghimselfonmepersonally,forhehasgroundsforsupposingthatthehonourandhappinessofSofyaSemyonovnaareveryprecioustome。Thatwaswhathewasworkingfor!That'showIunderstandit。That'sthewholereasonforitandtherecanbenoother！”
　　Itwaslikethis,orsomewhatlikethis,thatRaskolnikovwounduphisspeechwhichwasfollowedveryattentively,thoughofteninterruptedbyexclamationsfromhisaudience。Butinspiteofinterruptionshespokeclearly,calmly,exactly,firmly。Hisdecisivevoice,histoneofconvictionandhissternfacemadeagreatimpressiononeveryone。
　　“Yes,yes,that'sit,“Lebeziatnikovassentedgleefully,“thatmustbeit,forheaskedme,assoonasSofyaSemyonovnacameintoourroom,whetheryouwerehere,whetherIhadseenyouamongKaterinaIvanovna'sguests。Hecalledmeasidetothewindowandaskedmeinsecret。Itwasessentialforhimthatyoushouldbehere!That'sit,that'sit！”
　　Luzhinsmiledcontemptuouslyanddidnotspeak。Buthewasverypale。Heseemedtobedeliberatingonsomemeansofescape。Perhapshewouldhavebeengladtogiveupeverythingandgetaway,butatthemomentthiswasscarcelypossible。Itwouldhaveimpliedadmittingthetruthoftheaccusationsbroughtagainsthim。Moreover,thecompany,whichhadalreadybeenexcitedbydrink,wasnowtoomuchstirredtoallowit。Thecommissariatclerk,thoughindeedhehadnotgraspedthewholeposition,wasshoutinglouderthananyoneandwasmakingsomesuggestionsveryunpleasanttoLuzhin。Butnotallthosepresentweredrunk;lodgerscameinfromalltherooms。ThethreePolesweretremendouslyexcitedandwerecontinuallyshoutingathim：“ThePanisalajdak！”andmutteringthreatsinPolish。Soniahadbeenlisteningwithstrainedattention,thoughshetooseemedunabletograspitall;
　　sheseemedasthoughshehadjustreturnedtoconsciousness。ShedidnottakehereyesoffRaskolnikov,feelingthatallhersafetylayinhim。KaterinaIvanovnabreathedhardandpainfullyandseemedfearfullyexhausted。AmaliaIvanovnastoodlookingmorestupidthananyone,withhermouthwideopen,unabletomakeoutwhathadhappened。SheonlysawthatPyotrPetrovitchhadsomehowcometogrief。
　　Raskolnikovwasattemptingtospeakagain,buttheydidnotlethim。
　　EveryonewascrowdingroundLuzhinwiththreatsandshoutsofabuse。ButPyotrPetrovitchwasnotintimidated。SeeingthathisaccusationofSoniahadcompletelyfailed,hehadrecoursetoinsolence：
　　“Allowme,gentlemen,allowme!Don'tsqueeze,letmepass！”hesaid,makinghiswaythroughthecrowd。“Andnothreatsifyouplease!
　　Iassureyouitwillbeuseless,youwillgainnothingbyit。Onthecontrary,you'llhavetoanswer,gentlemen,forviolentlyobstructingthecourseofjustice。Thethiefhasbeenmorethanunmasked,andIshallprosecute。Ourjudgesarenotsoblindand……
　　notsodrunk,andwillnotbelievethetestimonyoftwonotoriousinfidels,agitators,andatheists,whoaccusemefrommotivesofpersonalrevengewhichtheyarefoolishenoughtoadmit……Yes,allowmetopass！”
　　“Don'tletmefindatraceofyouinmyroom!Kindlyleaveatonce,andeverythingisatanendbetweenus!WhenIthinkofthetroubleI'vebeentaking,thewayI'vebeenexpounding……allthisfortnight！”
　　“Itoldyoumyselfto-daythatIwasgoing,whenyoutriedtokeepme;nowIwillsimplyaddthatyouareafool。Iadviseyoutoseeadoctorforyourbrainsandyourshortsight。Letmepass,gentlemen！”
　　Heforcedhiswaythrough。Butthecommissariatclerkwasunwillingtolethimoffsoeasily：hepickedupaglassfromthetable,brandisheditintheairandflungitatPyotrPetrovitch;
　　buttheglassflewstraightatAmaliaIvanovna。Shescreamed,andtheclerk,overbalancing,fellheavilyunderthetable。PyotrPetrovitchmadehiswaytohisroomandhalfanhourlaterhadleftthehouse。Sonia,timidbynature,hadfeltbeforethatdaythatshecouldbeill-treatedmoreeasilythananyone,andthatshecouldbewrongedwithimpunity。Yettillthatmomentshehadfanciedthatshemightescapemisfortunebycare,gentlenessandsubmissivenessbeforeeveryone。Herdisappointmentwastoogreat。Shecould,ofcourse,bearwithpatienceandalmostwithoutmurmuranything,eventhis。Butforthefirstminuteshefeltittoobitter。Inspiteofhertriumphandherjustification-whenherfirstterrorandstupefactionhadpassedandshecouldunderstanditallclearly-thefeelingofherhelplessnessandofthewrongdonetohermadeherheartthrobwithanguishandshewasovercomewithhystericalweeping。
　　Atlast,unabletobearanymore,sherushedoutoftheroomandranhome,almostimmediatelyafterLuzhin'sdeparture。WhenamidstloudlaughtertheglassflewatAmaliaIvanovna,itwasmorethanthelandladycouldendure。WithashrieksherushedlikeafuryatKaterinaIvanovna,consideringhertoblameforeverything。
　　“Outofmylodgings!Atonce!Quickmarch！”
　　AndwiththesewordsshebegansnatchingupeverythingshecouldlayherhandsonthatbelongedtoKaterinaIvanovna,andthrowingitonthefloor,KaterinaIvanovna,pale,almostfainting,andgaspingforbreath,jumpedupfromthebedwhereshehadsunkinexhaustionanddartedatAmaliaIvanovna。Butthebattlewastoounequal：thelandladywavedherawaylikeafeather。
　　“What!Asthoughthatgodlesscalumnywasnotenough-thisvilecreatureattacksme!What!Onthedayofmyhusband'sfuneralIamturnedoutofmylodgings!Aftereatingmybreadandsaltsheturnsmeintothestreet,withmyorphans!WhereamItogo？”wailedthepoorwoman,sobbingandgasping。“GoodGod！”shecriedwithflashingeyes,“istherenojusticeuponearth?Whomshouldyouprotectifnotusorphans?Weshallsee!Thereislawandjusticeonearth,thereis,Iwillfindit!Waitabit,godlesscreature!Polenka,staywiththechildren,I'llcomeback。Waitforme,ifyouhavetowaitinthestreet。Wewillseewhetherthereisjusticeonearth！”
　　AndthrowingoverherheadthatgreenshawlwhichMarmeladovhadmentionedtoRaskolnikov,KaterinaIvanovnasqueezedherwaythroughthedisorderlyanddrunkencrowdoflodgerswhostillfilledtheroom,and,wailingandtearful,sheranintothestreet-withavagueintentionofgoingatoncesomewheretofindjustice。Polenkawiththetwolittleonesinherarmscrouched,terrified,onthetrunkinthecorneroftheroom,whereshewaitedtremblingforhermothertocomeback。AmaliaIvanovnaragedabouttheroom,shrieking,lamentingandthrowingeverythingshecameacrossonthefloor。Thelodgerstalkedincoherently,somecommentedtothebestoftheirabilityonwhathadhappened,othersquarreledandsworeatoneanother,whileothersstruckupasong……
　　“Nowit'stimeformetogo,“thoughtRaskolnikov。“Well,SofyaSemyonovna,weshallseewhatyou'llsaynow！”
　　AndhesetoffinthedirectionofSonia'slodgings。
　　ChapterFourRASKOLNIKOVhadbeenavigorousandactivechampionofSoniaagainstLuzhin,althoughhehadsuchaloadofhorrorandanguishinhisownheart。Buthavinggonethroughsomuchinthemorning,hefoundasortofreliefinachangeofsensations,apartfromthestrongpersonalfeelingwhichimpelledhimtodefendSonia。Hewasagitatedtoo,especiallyatsomemoments,bythethoughtofhisapproachinginterviewwithSonia：hehadtotellherwhohadkilledLizaveta。Heknewtheterriblesufferingitwouldbetohimand,asitwere,brushedawaythethoughtofit。SowhenhecriedasheleftKaterinaIvanovna's,“Well,SofyaSemyonovna,weshallseewhatyou'llsaynow！”hewasstillsuperficiallyexcited,stillvigorousanddefiantfromhistriumphoverLuzhin。But,strangetosay,bythetimehereachedSonia'slodging,hefeltasuddenimpotenceandfear。Hestoodstillinhesitationatthedoor,askinghimselfthestrangequestion：“MustItellherwhokilledLizaveta？”Itwasastrangequestionbecausehefeltattheverytimenotonlythathecouldnothelptellingher,butalsothathecouldnotputoffthetelling。Hedidnotyetknowwhyitmustbeso,heonlyfeltit,andtheagonisingsenseofhisimpotencebeforetheinevitablealmostcrushedhim。Tocutshorthishesitationandsuffering,hequicklyopenedthedoorandlookedatSoniafromthedoorway。Shewassittingwithherelbowsonthetableandherfaceinherhands,butseeingRaskolnikovshegotupatonceandcametomeethimasthoughshewereexpectinghim。
　　“Whatwouldhavebecomeofmebutforyou！”shesaidquickly,meetinghiminthemiddleoftheroom。
　　Evidentlyshewasinhastetosaythistohim。Itwaswhatshehadbeenwaitingfor。
　　Raskolnikovwenttothetableandsatdownonthechairfromwhichshehadonlyjustrisen。Shestoodfacinghim,twostepsaway,justasshehaddonethedaybefore。
　　“Well,Sonia？”hesaid,andfeltthathisvoicewastrembling,“itwasalldueto'yoursocialpositionandthehabitsassociatedwithit。'Didyouunderstandthatjustnow？”
　　Herfaceshowedherdistress。
　　“Onlydon'ttalktomeasyoudidyesterday,“sheinterruptedhim。
　　“Pleasedon'tbeginit。Thereismiseryenoughwithoutthat。“
　　Shemadehastetosmile,afraidthathemightnotlikethereproach。
　　“Iwassillytocomeawayfromthere。Whatishappeningtherenow?I
　　wantedtogobackdirectly,butIkeptthinkingthat……youwouldcome。“
　　HetoldherthatAmaliaIvanovnawasturningthemoutoftheirlodgingandthatKaterinaIvanovnahadrunoffsomewhere“toseekjustice。“
　　“MyGod！”criedSonia,“let'sgoatonce……“
　　Andshesnatcheduphercape。
　　“It'severlastinglythesamething！”saidRaskolnikov,irritably。
　　“You'venothoughtexceptforthem!Stayalittlewithme。“
　　“But……KaterinaIvanovna？”
　　“Youwon'tloseKaterinaIvanovna,youmaybesure,she'llcometoyouherselfsinceshehasrunout,“headdedpeevishly。“Ifshedoesn'tfindyouhere,you'llbeblamedforit……“
　　Soniasatdowninpainfulsuspense。Raskolnikovwassilent,gazingattheflooranddeliberating。
　　“ThistimeLuzhindidnotwanttoprosecuteyou,“hebegan,notlookingatSonia,“butifhehadwantedto,ifithadsuitedhisplans,hewouldhavesentyoutoprisonifithadnotbeenforLebeziatnikovandme。Ah？”
　　“Yes,“sheassentedinafaintvoice。“Yes,“sherepeated,preoccupiedanddistressed。
　　“ButImighteasilynothavebeenthere。AnditwasquiteanaccidentLebeziatnikov'sturningup。“
　　Soniawassilent。
　　“Andifyou'dgonetoprison,whatthen?DoyourememberwhatIsaidyesterday？”
　　Againshedidnotanswer。Hewaited。
　　“Ithoughtyouwouldcryoutagain'don'tspeakofit,leaveoff。'“Raskolnikovgavealaugh,butratheraforcedone。“What,silenceagain？”heaskedaminutelater。“Wemusttalkaboutsomething,youknow。Itwouldbeinterestingformetoknowhowyouwoulddecideacertain'problem'asLebeziatnikovwouldsay。“Hewasbeginningtolosethethread。“No,really,Iamserious。Imagine,Sonia,thatyouhadknownallLuzhin'sintentionsbeforehand。Known,thatis,forafact,thattheywouldbetheruinofKaterinaIvanovnaandthechildrenandyourselfthrownin-sinceyoudon'tcountyourselfforanything-Polenkatoo……forshe'llgothesameway。Well,ifsuddenlyitalldependedonyourdecisionwhetherheortheyshouldgoonliving,thatiswhetherLuzhinshouldgoonlivinganddoingwickedthings,orKaterinaIvanovnashoulddie?Howwouldyoudecidewhichofthemwastodie?Iaskyou？”
　　Sonialookeduneasilyathim。Therewassomethingpeculiarinthishesitatingquestion,whichseemedapproachingsomethinginaroundaboutway。
　　“Ifeltthatyouweregoingtoasksomequestionlikethat,“shesaid,lookinginquisitivelyathim。
　　“Idaresayyoudid。Buthowisittobeanswered？”
　　“Whydoyouaskaboutwhatcouldnothappen？”saidSoniareluctantly。
　　“ThenitwouldbebetterforLuzhintogoonlivinganddoingwickedthings?Youhaven'tdaredtodecideeventhat！”
　　“ButIcan'tknowtheDivineProvidence……Andwhydoyouaskwhatcan'tbeanswered?What'stheuseofsuchfoolishquestions?
　　Howcouldithappenthatitshoulddependonmydecision-whohasmademeajudgetodecidewhoistoliveandwhoisnottolive？”
　　“Oh,iftheDivineProvidenceistobemixedupinit,thereisnodoinganything,“Raskolnikovgrumbledmorosely。
　　“You'dbettersaystraightoutwhatyouwant！”Soniacriedindistress。“Youareleadinguptosomethingagain……Canyouhavecomesimplytotortureme？”
　　Shecouldnotcontrolherselfandbegancryingbitterly。Helookedatheringloomymisery。Fiveminutespassed。
　　“Ofcourseyou'reright,Sonia,“hesaidsoftlyatlast。Hewassuddenlychanged。Histoneofassumedarroganceandhelplessdefiancewasgone。Evenhisvoicewassuddenlyweak。“ItoldyouyesterdaythatIwasnotcomingtoaskforgivenessandalmostthefirstthingI'vesaidistoaskforgiveness……IsaidthataboutLuzhinandProvidenceformyownsake。Iwasaskingforgiveness,Sonia……“
　　Hetriedtosmile,buttherewassomethinghelplessandincompleteinhispalesmile。Hebowedhisheadandhidhisfaceinhishands。
　　Andsuddenlyastrange,surprisingsensationofasortofbitterhatredforSoniapassedthroughhisheart。Asitwerewonderingandfrightenedofthissensation,heraisedhisheadandlookedintentlyather;buthemetheruneasyandpainfullyanxiouseyesfixedonhim;
　　therewasloveinthem;hishatredvanishedlikeaphantom。Itwasnottherealfeeling;hehadtakentheonefeelingfortheother。Itonlymeantthatthatminutehadcome。
　　Hehidhisfaceinhishandsagainandbowedhishead。Suddenlyheturnedpale,gotupfromhischair,lookedatSonia,andwithoututteringawordsatdownmechanicallyonherbed。
　　Hissensationsthatmomentwereterriblylikethemomentwhenhehadstoodovertheoldwomanwiththeaxeinhishandandfeltthat“hemustnotloseanotherminute。“
　　“What'sthematter？”askedSonia,dreadfullyfrightened。
　　Hecouldnotutteraword。Thiswasnotatall,notatallthewayhehadintendedto“tell“andhedidnotunderstandwhatwashappeningtohimnow。Shewentuptohim,softly,satdownonthebedbesidehimandwaited,nottakinghereyesoffhim。Herheartthrobbedandsank。Itwasunendurable;heturnedhisdeadlypalefacetoher。Hislipsworked,helplesslystrugglingtouttersomething。ApangofterrorpassedthroughSonia'sheart。
　　“What'sthematter？”sherepeated,drawingalittleawayfromhim。
　　“Nothing,Sonia,don'tbefrightened……It'snonsense。Itreallyisnonsense,ifyouthinkofit,“hemuttered,likeamanindelirium。
　　“WhyhaveIcometotortureyou？”headdedsuddenly,lookingather。
　　“Why,really?Ikeepaskingmyselfthatquestion,Sonia……“
　　Hehadperhapsbeenaskinghimselfthatquestionaquarterofanhourbefore,butnowhespokehelplessly,hardlyknowingwhathesaidandfeelingacontinualtremorallover。
　　“Oh,howyouaresuffering！”shemutteredindistress,lookingintentlyathim。
　　“It'sallnonsense……Listen,Sonia。“Hesuddenlysmiled,apalehelplesssmilefortwoseconds。“YourememberwhatImeanttotellyouyesterday？”
　　Soniawaiteduneasily。
　　“IsaidasIwentawaythatperhapsIwassayinggood-byeforever,butthatifIcameto-dayIwouldtellyouwho……whokilledLizaveta。“
　　Shebegantremblingallover。
　　“Well,hereI'vecometotellyou。“
　　“Thenyoureallymeantityesterday？”shewhisperedwithdifficulty。
　　“Howdoyouknow？”sheaskedquickly,asthoughsuddenlyregainingherreason。
　　Sonia'sfacegrewpalerandpaler,andshebreathedpainfully。
　　“Iknow。“
　　Shepausedaminute。
　　“Havetheyfoundhim？”sheaskedtimidly。
　　“No。“
　　“Thenhowdoyouknowaboutit？”sheaskedagain,hardlyaudiblyandagainafteraminute'spause。
　　Heturnedtoherandlookedveryintentlyather。
　　“Guess,“hesaid,withthesamedistortedhelplesssmile。
　　Ashudderpassedoverher。
　　“Butyou……whydoyoufrightenmelikethis？”shesaid,smilinglikeachild。
　　“Imustbeagreatfriendofhis……sinceIknow,“Raskolnikovwenton,stillgazingintoherface,asthoughhecouldnotturnhiseyesaway。“He……didnotmeantokillthatLizaveta……he……killedheraccidentally……Hemeanttokilltheoldwomanwhenshewasaloneandhewentthere……andthenLizavetacamein……hekilledhertoo。“
　　Anotherawfulmomentpassed。Bothstillgazedatoneanother。
　　“Youcan'tguess,then？”heaskedsuddenly,feelingasthoughhewereflinginghimselfdownfromasteeple。
　　“N-no……“whisperedSonia。
　　“Takeagoodlook。“
　　Assoonashehadsaidthisagain,thesamefamiliarsensationfrozehisheart。HelookedatherandallatonceseemedtoseeinherfacethefaceofLizaveta。HerememberedclearlytheexpressioninLizaveta'sface,whenheapproachedherwiththeaxeandshesteppedbacktothewall,puttingoutherhand,withchildishterrorinherface,lookingaslittlechildrendowhentheybegintobefrightenedofsomething,lookingintentlyanduneasilyatwhatfrightensthem,shrinkingbackandholdingouttheirlittlehandsonthepointofcrying。AlmostthesamethinghappenednowtoSonia。Withthesamehelplessnessandthesameterror,shelookedathimforawhileand,suddenlyputtingoutherlefthand,pressedherfingersfaintlyagainsthisbreastandslowlybegantogetupfromthebed,movingfurtherfromhimandkeepinghereyesfixedevenmoreimmovablyonhim。Herterrorinfectedhim。Thesamefearshoweditselfonhisface。
　　Inthesamewayhestaredatherandalmostwiththesamechildishsmile。
　　“Haveyouguessed？”hewhisperedatlast。
　　“GoodGod！”brokeinanawfulwailfromherbosom。
　　Shesankhelplesslyonthebedwithherfaceinthepillows,butamomentlatershegotup,movedquicklytohim,seizedbothhishandsand,grippingthemtightinherthinfingers,beganlookingintohisfaceagainwiththesameintentstare。Inthislastdesperatelookshetriedtolookintohimandcatchsomelasthope。Buttherewasnohope;therewasnodoubtremaining;itwasalltrue!Lateron,indeed,whensherecalledthatmoment,shethoughtitstrangeandwonderedwhyshehadseenatoncethattherewasnodoubt。Shecouldnothavesaid,forinstance,thatshehadforeseensomethingofthesort-andyetnow,assoonashetoldher,shesuddenlyfanciedthatshehadreallyforeseenthisverything。
　　“Stop,Sonia,enough!don'ttortureme,“hebeggedhermiserably。
　　Itwasnotatall,notatalllikethishehadthoughtoftellingher,butthisishowithappened。
　　Shejumpedup,seemingnottoknowwhatshewasdoing,and,wringingherhands,walkedintothemiddleoftheroom;but,quicklywentbackandsatdownagainbesidehim,hershoulderalmosttouchinghis。Allofasuddenshestartedasthoughshehadbeenstabbed,utteredacryandfellonherkneesbeforehim,shedidnotknowwhy。
　　“Whathaveyoudone-whathaveyoudonetoyourself！”shesaidindespair,and,jumpingup,sheflungherselfonhisneck,threwherarmsroundhim,andheldhimtight。
　　Raskolnikovdrewbackandlookedatherwithamournfulsmile。
　　“Youareastrangegirl,Sonia-youkissmeandhugmewhenItellyouaboutthat……Youdon'tthinkwhatyouaredoing。“
　　“Thereisnoone-nooneinthewholeworldnowsounhappyasyou！”shecriedinafrenzy,nothearingwhathesaid,andshesuddenlybrokeintoviolenthystericalweeping。
　　Afeelinglongunfamiliartohimfloodedhisheartandsofteneditatonce。Hedidnotstruggleagainstit。Twotearsstartedintohiseyesandhungonhiseyelashes。
　　“Thenyouwon'tleaveme,Sonia？”hesaid,lookingatheralmostwithhope。
　　“No,no,never,nowhere！”criedSonia。“Iwillfollowyou,Iwillfollowyoueverywhere。Oh,myGod!Oh,howmiserableIam!……Why,whydidn'tIknowyoubefore!Whydidn'tyoucomebefore?Oh,dear！”
　　“HereIhavecome。“
　　“Yes,now!What'stobedonenow!……Together,together！”sherepeatedasitwereunconsciously,andshehuggedhimagain。“I'llfollowyoutoSiberia！”
　　Herecoiledatthis,andthesamehostile,almosthaughtysmilecametohislips。
　　“PerhapsIdon'twanttogotoSiberiayet,Sonia,“hesaid。
　　Sonialookedathimquickly。
　　Againafterherfirstpassionate,agonisingsympathyfortheunhappymantheterribleideaofthemurderoverwhelmedher。Inhischangedtonesheseemedtohearthemurdererspeaking。Shelookedathimbewildered。Sheknewnothingasyet,why,how,withwhatobjectithadbeen。Nowallthesequestionsrushedatonceintohermind。Andagainshecouldnotbelieveit：“He,heisamurderer!Coulditbetrue？”
　　“What'sthemeaningofit?WhereamI？”shesaidincompletebewilderment,asthoughstillunabletorecoverherself。“Howcouldyou,you,amanlikeyou……Howcouldyoubringyourselftoit?……
　　Whatdoesitmean？”
　　“Oh,well-toplunder。Leaveoff,Sonia,“heansweredwearily,almostwithvexation。
　　Soniastoodasthoughstruckdumb,butsuddenlyshecried：
　　“Youwerehungry!Itwas……tohelpyourmother?Yes？”
　　“No,Sonia,no,“hemuttered,turningawayandhanginghishead。
　　“Iwasnotsohungry……Icertainlydidwanttohelpmymother,but……that'snottherealthingeither……Don'ttortureme,Sonia。“
　　Soniaclaspedherhands。
　　“Couldit,coulditallbetrue?GoodGod,whatatruth!Whocouldbelieveit?Andhowcouldyougiveawayyourlastfarthingandyetrobandmurder!Ah,“shecriedsuddenly,“thatmoneyyougaveKaterinaIvanovna……thatmoney……Canthatmoney……“
　　“No,Sonia,“hebrokeinhurriedly,“thatmoneywasnotit。Don'tworryyourself!ThatmoneymymothersentmeanditcamewhenIwasill,thedayIgaveittoyou……Razumihinsawit……hereceiveditforme……Thatmoneywasmine-myown。“
　　Sonialistenedtohiminbewildermentanddidherutmosttocomprehend。
　　“Andthatmoney……Idon'tevenknowreallywhethertherewasanymoney,“headdedsoftly,asthoughreflecting。“Itookapurseoffherneck,madeofchamoisleather……apursestuffedfullofsomething……butIdidn'tlookinit;IsupposeIhadn'ttime……
　　Andthethings-chainsandtrinkets-IburiedunderastonewiththepursenextmorninginayardofftheV__Prospect。Theyarealltherenow……“
　　Soniastrainedeverynervetolisten。
　　“Thenwhy……why,yousaidyoudidittorob,butyoutooknothing？”
　　sheaskedquickly,catchingatastraw。
　　“Idon'tknow……Ihaven'tyetdecidedwhethertotakethatmoneyornot,“hesaid,musingagain;and,seemingtowakeupwithastart,hegaveabriefironicalsmile。“Ach,whatsillystuffIamtalking,eh？”
　　ThethoughtflashedthroughSonia'smind,wasn'themad?Butshedismisseditatonce。“No,itwassomethingelse。“Shecouldmakenothingofit,nothing。
　　“Doyouknow,Sonia,“hesaidsuddenlywithconviction,“letmetellyou：ifI'dsimplykilledbecauseIwashungry,“layingstressoneverywordandlookingenigmaticallybutsincerelyather,“Ishouldbehappynow。Youmustbelievethat!Whatwoulditmattertoyou,“
　　hecriedamomentlaterwithasortofdespair,“whatwoulditmattertoyouifIweretoconfessthatIdidwrong!Whatdoyougainbysuchastupidtriumphoverme?Ah,Sonia,wasitforthatI'vecometoyouto-day？”
　　AgainSoniatriedtosaysomething,butdidnotspeak。
　　“IaskedyoutogowithmeyesterdaybecauseyouareallIhaveleft。“
　　“Gowhere？”askedSoniatimidly。
　　“Nottostealandnottomurder,don'tbeanxious,“hesmiledbitterly。“Wearesodifferent……Andyouknow,Sonia,it'sonlynow,onlythismomentthatIunderstandwhereIaskedyoutogowithmeyesterday!YesterdaywhenIsaiditIdidnotknowwhere。Iaskedyouforonething,Icametoyouforonething-nottoleaveme。Youwon'tleaveme,Sonia？”
　　Shesqueezedhishand。
　　“Andwhy,whydidItellher?WhydidIletherknow？”hecriedaminutelaterindespair,lookingwithinfiniteanguishather。“Hereyouexpectanexplanationfromme,Sonia;youaresittingandwaitingforit,Iseethat。ButwhatcanItellyou?Youwon'tunderstandandwillonlysuffermisery……onmyaccount!Well,youarecryingandembracingmeagain。Whydoyoudoit?BecauseIcouldn'tbearmyburdenandhavecometothrowitonanother：yousuffertoo,andIshallfeelbetter!Andcanyoulovesuchameanwretch？”
　　“Butaren'tyousuffering,too？”criedSonia。
　　Againawaveofthesamefeelingsurgedintohisheart,andagainforaninstantsoftenedit。
　　“Sonia,Ihaveabadheart,takenoteofthat。Itmayexplainagreatdeal。IhavecomebecauseIambad。Therearemenwhowouldn'thavecome。ButIamacowardand……ameanwretch。But……nevermind!That'snotthepoint。Imustspeaknow,butIdon'tknowhowtobegin。“
　　Hepausedandsankintothought。
　　“Ach,wearesodifferent,“hecriedagain,“wearenotalike。Andwhy,whydidIcome?Ishallneverforgivemyselfthat。“
　　“No,no,itwasagoodthingyoucame,“criedSonia。“It'sbetterIshouldknow,farbetter！”
　　Helookedatherwithanguish。
　　“Whatifitwerereallythat？”hesaid,asthoughreachingaconclusion。“Yes,that'swhatitwas!IwantedtobecomeaNapoleon,thatiswhyIkilledher……Doyouunderstandnow？”
　　“N-no,“Soniawhisperednaivelyandtimidly。“Onlyspeak,speak,I
　　shallunderstand,Ishallunderstandinmyself！”shekeptbegginghim。
　　“You'llunderstand?Verywell,weshallsee！”Hepausedandwasforsometimelostinmeditation。
　　“Itwaslikethis：Iaskedmyselfonedaythisquestion-whatifNapoleon,forinstance,hadhappenedtobeinmyplace,andifhehadnothadToulonnorEgyptnorthepassageofMontBlanctobeginhiscareerwith,butinsteadofallthosepicturesqueandmonumentalthings,therehadsimplybeensomeridiculousoldhag,apawnbroker,whohadtobemurderedtootogetmoneyfromhertrunkforhiscareer,youunderstand。Well,wouldhehavebroughthimselftothat,iftherehadbeennoothermeans?Wouldn'thehavefeltapangatitsbeingsofarfrommonumentaland……andsinful,too?Well,I
　　musttellyouthatIworriedmyselffearfullyoverthat'question'
　　sothatIwasawfullyashamedwhenIguessedatlastallofasudden,somehowthatitwouldnothavegivenhimtheleastpang,thatitwouldnotevenhavestruckhimthatitwasnotmonumental……thathewouldnothaveseenthattherewasanythinginittopauseover,andthat,ifhehadhadnootherway,hewouldhavestrangledherinaminutewithoutthinkingaboutit!Well,Itoo……leftoffthinkingaboutit……murderedher,followinghisexample。Andthat'sexactlyhowitwas!Doyouthinkitfunny?Yes,Sonia,thefunniestthingofallisthatperhapsthat'sjusthowitwas。“
　　Soniadidnotthinkitatallfunny。
　　“Youhadbettertellmestraightout……withoutexamples,“shebegged,stillmoretimidlyandscarcelyaudibly。
　　Heturnedtoher,lookedsadlyatherandtookherhands。
　　“Youarerightagain,Sonia。Ofcoursethat'sallnonsense,it'salmostalltalk!Yousee,youknowofcoursethatmymotherhasscarcelyanything,mysisterhappenedtohaveagoodeducationandwascondemnedtodrudgeasagoverness。Alltheirhopeswerecenteredonme。Iwasastudent,butIcouldn'tkeepmyselfattheuniversityandwasforcedforatimetoleaveit。EvenifIhadlingeredonlikethat,intenortwelveyearsImightwithluckhopetobesomesortofteacherorclerkwithasalaryofathousandroubles“herepeateditasthoughitwerealesson“andbythattimemymotherwouldbewornoutwithgriefandanxietyandIcouldnotsucceedinkeepingherincomfortwhilemysister……well,mysistermightwellhavefaredworse!Andit'sahardthingtopasseverythingbyallone'slife,toturnone'sbackuponeverything,toforgetone'smotheranddecorouslyaccepttheinsultsinflictedonone'ssister。Whyshouldone?Whenonehasburiedthemtoburdenoneselfwithothers-
　　wifeandchildren-andtoleavethemagainwithoutafarthing?SoI
　　resolvedtogainpossessionoftheoldwoman'smoneyandtouseitformyfirstyearswithoutworryingmymother,tokeepmyselfattheuniversityandforalittlewhileafterleavingit-andtodothisallonabroad,thoroughscale,soastobuildupacompletelynewcareerandenteruponanewlifeofindependence……Well……that'sall……Well,ofcourseinkillingtheoldwomanIdidwrong……Well,that'senough。“
　　Hestruggledtotheendofhisspeechinexhaustionandlethisheadsink。
　　“Oh,that'snotit,that'snotit,“Soniacriedindistress。“Howcouldone……no,that'snotright,notright。“
　　“Youseeyourselfthatit'snotright。ButI'vespokentruly,it'sthetruth。“
　　“Asthoughthatcouldbethetruth!GoodGod！”
　　“I'veonlykilledalouse,Sonia,auseless,loathsome,harmfulcreature。“
　　“Ahumanbeing-alouse！”
　　“Itooknowitwasn'talouse,“heanswered,lookingstrangelyather。“ButIamtalkingnonsense,Sonia,“headded。“I'vebeentalkingnonsensealongtime……That'snotit,youarerightthere。
　　Therewerequite,quiteothercausesforit!Ihaven'ttalkedtoanyoneforsolong,Sonia……Myheadachesdreadfullynow。“
　　Hiseyesshonewithfeverishbrilliance。Hewasalmostdelirious;anuneasysmilestrayedonhislips。Histerribleexhaustioncouldbeseenthroughhisexcitement。Soniasawhowhewassuffering。Shetoowasgrowingdizzy。Andhetalkedsostrangely;itseemedsomehowcomprehensible,butyet……“Buthow,how!GoodGod！”Andshewrungherhandsindespair。
　　“No,Sonia,that'snotit,“hebeganagainsuddenly,raisinghishead,asthoughanewandsuddentrainofthoughthadstruckandasitwererousedhim-“that'snotit!Better……imagine-yes,it'scertainlybetter-imaginethatIamvain,envious,malicious,base,vindictiveand……well,perhapswithatendencytoinsanity。Let'shaveitalloutatonce!They'vetalkedofmadnessalready,I
　　noticed。ItoldyoujustnowIcouldnotkeepmyselfattheuniversity。ButdoyouknowthatperhapsImighthavedone?MymotherwouldhavesentmewhatIneededforthefeesandIcouldhaveearnedenoughforclothes,bootsandfood,nodoubt。Lessonshadturnedupathalfarouble。Razumihinworks!ButIturnedsulkyandwouldn't。Yes,sulkiness,that'stherightwordforit!Isatinmyroomlikeaspider。You'vebeeninmyden,you'veseenit……Anddoyouknow,Sonia,thatlowceilingsandtinyroomscrampthesoulandthemind?Ah,howIhatedthatgarret!AndyetIwouldn'tgooutofit!Iwouldn'tonpurpose!Ididn'tgooutfordaystogether,andI
　　wouldn'twork,Iwouldn'teveneat,Ijustlaytheredoingnothing。IfNastasyabroughtmeanything,Iateit,ifshedidn't,Iwentalldaywithout;Iwouldn'task,onpurpose,fromsulkiness!AtnightI
　　hadnolight,IlayinthedarkandIwouldn'tearnmoneyforcandles。
　　Ioughttohavestudied,butIsoldmybooks;andthedustliesaninchthickonthenotebooksonmytable。Ipreferredlyingstillandthinking。AndIkeptthinking……AndIhaddreamsallthetime,strangedreamsofallsorts,noneedtodescribe!OnlythenIbegantofancythat……No,that'snotit!AgainIamtellingyouwrong!YouseeIkeptaskingmyselfthen：whyamIsostupidthatifothersarestupid-andIknowtheyare-yetIwon'tbewiser?ThenIsaw,Sonia,thatifonewaitsforeveryonetogetwiseritwilltaketoolong……AfterwardsIunderstoodthatthatwouldnevercometopass,thatmenwon'tchangeandthatnobodycanalteritandthatit'snotworthwastingeffortoverit。Yes,that'sso。That'sthelawoftheirnature,Sonia,……that'sso!……AndIknownow,Sonia,thatwhoeverisstronginmindandspiritwillhavepoweroverthem。Anyonewhoisgreatlydaringisrightintheireyes。Hewhodespisesmostthingswillbealawgiveramongthemandhewhodaresmostofallwillbemostintheright!Soithasbeentillnowandsoitwillalwaysbe。Amanmustbeblindnottoseeit！”