Twoseconds,notmore,werespentinactualstruggle,thensomeonegaveaviolentshove,andthenaman,verypale,strodeintotheroom。
　　Thisman'sappearancewasatfirstsightverystrange。Hestaredstraightbeforehim,asthoughseeingnothing。Therewasadeterminedgleaminhiseyes;atthesametimetherewasadeathlypallorinhisface,asthoughhewerebeingledtothescaffold。Hiswhitelipswerefaintlytwitching。
　　Hewasdressedlikeaworkmanandwasofmediumheight,veryyoung,slim,hishaircutinroundcrop,withthinsparefeatures。Themanwhomhehadthrustbackfollowedhimintotheroomandsucceededinseizinghimbytheshoulder;hewasawarder;butNikolaypulledhisarmaway。
　　Severalpersonscrowdedinquisitivelyintothedoorway。Someofthemtriedtogetin。Allthistookplacealmostinstantaneously。
　　“Goaway,it'stoosoon!Waittillyouaresentfor!……Whyhaveyoubroughthimsosoon？”PorfiryPetrovitchmuttered,extremelyannoyed,andasitwerethrownoutofhisreckoning。
　　ButNikolaysuddenlykneltdown。
　　“What'sthematter？”criedPorfiry,surprised。
　　“Iamguilty!Mineisthesin!Iamthemurderer,“Nikolayarticulatedsuddenly,ratherbreathless,butspeakingfairlyloudly。
　　Fortensecondstherewassilenceasthoughallhadbeenstruckdumb;eventhewardersteppedback,mechanicallyretreatedtothedoor,andstoodimmovable。
　　“Whatisit？”criedPorfiryPetrovitch,recoveringfromhismomentarystupefaction。
　　“Iamthemurderer,“repeatedNikolay,afterabriefpause。
　　“What……you……what……whomdidyoukill？”PorfiryPetrovitchwasobviouslybewildered。
　　Nikolayagainwassilentforamoment。
　　“AlyonaIvanovnaandhersisterLizavetaIvanovna,I……killed……
　　withanaxe。Darknesscameoverme,“headdedsuddenly,andwasagainsilent。
　　Hestillremainedonhisknees。PorfiryPetrovitchstoodforsomemomentsasthoughmeditating,butsuddenlyrousedhimselfandwavedbacktheuninvitedspectators。Theyinstantlyvanishedandclosedthedoor。ThenhelookedtowardsRaskolnikov,whowasstandinginthecorner,staringwildlyatNikolay,andmovedtowardshim,butstoppedshort,lookedfromNikolaytoRaskolnikovandthenagainatNikolay,andseemingunabletorestrainhimselfdartedatthelatter。
　　“You'reintoogreatahurry,“heshoutedathim,almostangrily。“I
　　didn'taskyouwhatcameoveryou……Speak,didyoukillthem？”
　　“Iamthemurderer……Iwanttogiveevidence,“Nikolaypronounced。
　　“Ach!Whatdidyoukillthemwith？”
　　“Anaxe。Ihaditready。“
　　“Ach,heisinahurry!Alone？”
　　Nikolaydidnotunderstandthequestion。
　　“Didyoudoitalone？”
　　“Yes,alone。AndMitkaisnotguiltyandhadnoshareinit。“
　　“Don'tbeinahurryaboutMitka!A-ach!Howwasityourandownstairslikethatatthetime?Theportersmetyouboth！”
　　“Itwastoputthemoffthescent……IranafterMitka,“Nikolayrepliedhurriedly,asthoughhehadpreparedtheanswer。
　　“Iknewit！”criedPorfiry,withvexation。“It'snothisowntaleheistelling,“hemutteredasthoughtohimself,andsuddenlyhiseyesrestedonRaskolnikovagain。
　　HewasapparentlysotakenupwithNikolaythatforamomenthehadforgottenRaskolnikov。Hewasalittletakenaback。
　　“MydearRodionRomanovitch,excuseme！”heflewuptohim,“thiswon'tdo;I'mafraidyoumustgo……it'snogoodyourstaying……I
　　will……yousee,whatasurprise!……Good-bye！”
　　Andtakinghimbythearm,heshowedhimtothedoor。
　　“Isupposeyoudidn'texpectit？”saidRaskolnikovwho,thoughhehadnotyetfullygraspedthesituation,hadregainedhiscourage。
　　“Youdidnotexpectiteither,myfriend。Seehowyourhandistrembling!He-he！”
　　“You'retrembling,too,PorfiryPetrovitch！”
　　“Yes,Iam;Ididn'texpectit。“
　　Theywerealreadyatthedoor;PorfirywasimpatientforRaskolnikovtobegone。
　　“Andyourlittlesurprise,aren'tyougoingtoshowittome？”
　　Raskolnikovsaid,sarcastically。
　　“Why,histeetharechatteringasheasks,he-he!Youareanironicalperson!Come,tillwemeet！”
　　“Ibelievewecansaygood-bye！”
　　“That'sinGod'shands,“mutteredPorfiry,withanunnaturalsmile。
　　Ashewalkedthroughtheoffice,Raskolnikovnoticedthatmanypeoplewerelookingathim。Amongthemhesawthetwoportersfromthehouse,whomhehadinvitedthatnighttothepolicestation。Theystoodtherewaiting。ButhewasnosooneronthestairsthanheheardthevoiceofPorfiryPetrovitchbehindhim。Turninground,hesawthelatterrunningafterhim,outofbreath。
　　“Oneword,RodionRomanovitch;astoalltherest,it'sinGod'shands,butasamatterofformtherearesomequestionsIshallhavetoaskyou……soweshallmeetagain,shan'twe？”
　　AndPorfirystoodstill,facinghimwithasmile。
　　“Shan'twe？”headdedagain。
　　Heseemedtowanttosaysomethingmore,butcouldnotspeakout。
　　“Youmustforgiveme,PorfiryPetrovitch,forwhathasjustpassed……Ilostmytemper,“beganRaskolnikov,whohadsofarregainedhiscouragethathefeltirresistiblyinclinedtodisplayhiscoolness。
　　“Don'tmentionit,don'tmentionit,“Porfiryreplied,almostgleefully。“Imyself,too……Ihaveawickedtemper,Iadmitit!Butweshallmeetagain。Ifit'sGod'swill,wemayseeagreatdealofoneanother。“
　　“Andwillgettoknoweachotherthroughandthrough？”addedRaskolnikov。
　　“Yes;knoweachotherthroughandthrough,“assentedPorfiryPetrovitch,andhescreweduphiseyes,lookingearnestlyatRaskolnikov。“Nowyou'regoingtoabirthdayparty？”
　　“Toafuneral。“
　　“Ofcourse,thefuneral!Takecareofyourself,andgetwell。“
　　“Idon'tknowwhattowishyou,“saidRaskolnikov,whohadbeguntodescendthestairs,butlookedbackagain。“Ishouldliketowishyousuccess,butyourofficeissuchacomicalone。“
　　“Whycomical？”PorfiryPetrovitchhadturnedtogo,butheseemedtoprickuphisearsatthis。
　　“Why,howyoumusthavebeentorturingandharassingthatpoorNikolaypsychologically,afteryourfashion,tillheconfessed!Youmusthavebeenathimdayandnight,provingtohimthathewasthemurderer,andnowthathehasconfessed,you'llbeginvivisectinghimagain。'Youarelying,'you'llsay。'Youarenotthemurderer!Youcan'tbe!It'snotyourowntaleyouaretelling!'Youmustadmitit'sacomicalbusiness！”
　　“He-he-he!YounoticedthenthatIsaidtoNikolayjustnowthatitwasnothisowntalehewastelling？”
　　“HowcouldIhelpnoticingit！”
　　“He-he!Youarequick-witted。Younoticeeverything!You'vereallyaplayfulmind!Andyoualwaysfastenonthecomicside……he-he!TheysaythatwasthemarkedcharacteristicofGogol,amongthewriters。“
　　“Yes,ofGogol。“
　　“Yes,ofGogol……Ishalllookforwardtomeetingyou。“
　　“SoshallI。“
　　Raskolnikovwalkedstraighthome。Hewassomuddledandbewilderedthatongettinghomehesatforaquarterofanhouronthesofa,tryingtocollecthisthoughts。HedidnotattempttothinkaboutNikolay;hewasstupefied;hefeltthathisconfessionwassomethinginexplicable,amazing-somethingbeyondhisunderstanding。ButNikolay'sconfessionwasanactualfact。Theconsequencesofthisfactwerecleartohimatonce,itsfalsehoodcouldnotfailtobediscovered,andthentheywouldbeafterhimagain。Tillthen,atleast,hewasfreeandmustdosomethingforhimself,forthedangerwasimminent。
　　Buthowimminent?Hispositiongraduallybecamecleartohim。
　　Remembering,sketchily,themainoutlinesofhisrecentscenewithPorfiry,hecouldnothelpshudderingagainwithhorror。Ofcourse,hedidnotyetknowallPorfiry'saims,hecouldnotseeintoallhiscalculations。Buthehadalreadypartlyshownhishand,andnooneknewbetterthanRaskolnikovhowterriblePorfiry's“lead“hadbeenforhim。Alittlemoreandhemighthavegivenhimselfawaycompletely,circumstantially。Knowinghisnervoustemperamentandfromthefirstglanceseeingthroughhim,Porfiry,thoughplayingaboldgame,wasboundtowin。There'snodenyingthatRaskolnikovhadcompromisedhimselfseriously,butnofactshadcometolightasyet;therewasnothingpositive。Butwashetakingatrueviewoftheposition?Wasn'themistaken?WhathadPorfirybeentryingtogetat?Hadhereallysomesurprisepreparedforhim?Andwhatwasit?
　　Hadhereallybeenexpectingsomethingornot?HowwouldtheyhavepartedifithadnotbeenfortheunexpectedappearanceofNikolay?
　　Porfiryhadshownalmostallhiscards-ofcourse,hehadriskedsomethinginshowingthem-andifhehadreallyhadanythinguphissleeveRaskolnikovreflected,hewouldhaveshownthat,too。Whatwasthat“surprise“?Wasitajoke?Haditmeantanything?Couldithaveconcealedanythinglikeafact,apieceofpositiveevidence?Hisyesterday'svisitor?Whathadbecomeofhim?Wherewasheto-day?IfPorfiryreallyhadanyevidence,itmustbeconnectedwithhim……
　　Hesatonthesofawithhiselbowsonhiskneesandhisfacehiddeninhishands。Hewasstillshiveringnervously。Atlasthegotup,tookhiscap,thoughtaminute,andwenttothedoor。
　　Hehadasortofpresentimentthatforto-day,atleast,hemightconsiderhimselfoutofdanger。Hehadasuddensensealmostofjoy;
　　hewantedtomakehastetoKaterinaIvanovna's。Hewouldbetoolateforthefuneral,ofcourse,buthewouldbeintimeforthememorialdinner,andthereatoncehewouldseeSonia。
　　Hestoodstill,thoughtamoment,andasufferingsmilecameforamomentontohislips。
　　“To-day!To-day,“herepeatedtohimself。“Yes,to-day!Soitmustbe……“
　　Butashewasabouttoopenthedoor,itbeganopeningofitself。Hestartedandmovedback。Thedooropenedgentlyandslowly,andtheresuddenlyappearedafigure-yesterday'svisitorfromunderground。
　　Themanstoodinthedoorway,lookedatRaskolnikovwithoutspeaking,andtookastepforwardintotheroom。Hewasexactlythesameasyesterday;thesamefigure,thesamedress,buttherewasagreatchangeinhisface;helookeddejectedandsigheddeeply。Ifhehadonlyputhishanduptohischeekandleanedhisheadononesidehewouldhavelookedexactlylikeapeasantwoman。
　　“Whatdoyouwant？”askedRaskolnikov,numbwithterror。Themanwasstillsilent,butsuddenlyheboweddownalmosttotheground,touchingitwithhisfinger。
　　“Whatisit？”criedRaskolnikov。
　　“Ihavesinned,“themanarticulatedsoftly。
　　“Byevilthoughts。“
　　Theylookedatoneanother。
　　“Iwasvexed。Whenyoucame,perhapsindrink,andbadetheportersgotothepolicestationandaskedabouttheblood,Iwasvexedthattheyletyougoandtookyoufordrunken。IwassovexedthatIlostmysleep。Andrememberingtheaddresswecamehereyesterdayandaskedforyou……“
　　“Whocame？”Raskolnikovinterrupted,instantlybeginningtorecollect。
　　“Idid,I'vewrongedyou。“
　　“Thenyoucamefromthathouse？”
　　“Iwasstandingatthegatewiththem……don'tyouremember?Wehavecarriedonourtradeinthathouseforyearspast。Wecureandpreparehides,wetakeworkhome……mostofallIwasvexed……“
　　AndthewholesceneofthedaybeforeyesterdayinthegatewaycameclearlybeforeRaskolnikov'smind;herecollectedthattherehadbeenseveralpeopletherebesidestheporters,womenamongthem。
　　Herememberedonevoicehadsuggestedtakinghimstraighttothepolicestation。Hecouldnotrecallthefaceofthespeaker,andevennowhedidnotrecogniseit,butherememberedthathehadturnedroundandmadehimsomeanswer……
　　Sothiswasthesolutionofyesterday'shorror。Themostawfulthoughtwasthathehadbeenactuallyalmostlost,hadalmostdoneforhimselfonaccountofsuchatrivialcircumstance。Sothismancouldtellnothingexcepthisaskingabouttheflatandthebloodstains。SoPorfiry,too,hadnothingbutthatdelirium,nofactsbutthispsychologywhichcutsbothways,nothingpositive。Soifnomorefactscometolightandtheymustnot,theymustnot!then……thenwhatcantheydotohim?Howcantheyconvicthim,eveniftheyarresthim?
　　AndPorfirythenhadonlyjustheardabouttheflatandhadnotknownaboutitbefore。
　　“WasityouwhotoldPorfiry……thatI'dbeenthere？”hecried,struckbyasuddenidea。
　　“WhatPorfiry？”
　　“Theheadofthedetectivedepartment？”
　　“Yes。Theportersdidnotgothere,butIwent。“
　　“To-day？”
　　“Igottheretwominutesbeforeyou。AndIheard,Ihearditall,howheworriedyou。“
　　“Where?What?When？”
　　“Why,inthenextroom。Iwassittingthereallthetime。“
　　PARTFIVE
　　ChapterOneTHEMORNINGthatfollowedthefatefulinterviewwithDouniaandhermotherbroughtsoberinginfluencestobearonPyotrPetrovitch。
　　Intenselyunpleasantasitwas,hewasforcedlittlebylittletoacceptasafactbeyondrecallwhathadseemedtohimonlythedaybeforefantasticandincredible。Theblacksnakeofwoundedvanityhadbeengnawingathisheartallnight。Whenhegotoutofbed,PyotrPetrovitchimmediatelylookedinthelooking-glass。Hewasafraidthathehadjaundice。Howeverhishealthseemedunimpairedsofar,andlookingathisnoble,clear-skinnedcountenancewhichhadgrownfattishoflate,PyotrPetrovitchforaninstantwaspositivelycomfortedintheconvictionthathewouldfindanotherbrideand,perhaps,evenabetterone。Butcomingbacktothesenseofhispresentposition,heturnedasideandspatvigorously,whichexcitedasarcasticsmileinAndreySemyonovitchLebeziatnikov,theyoungfriendwithwhomhewasstaying。ThatsmilePyotrPetrovitchnoticed,andatoncesetitdownagainsthisyoungfriend'saccount。Hehadsetdownagoodmanypointsagainsthimoflate。HisangerwasredoubledwhenhereflectedthatheoughtnottohavetoldAndreySemyonovitchabouttheresultofyesterday'sinterview。Thatwasthesecondmistakehehadmadeintemper,throughimpulsivenessandirritability……
　　Moreover,allthatmorningoneunpleasantnessfollowedanother。HeevenfoundahitchawaitinghiminhislegalcaseintheSenate。Hewasparticularlyirritatedbytheowneroftheflatwhichhadbeentakeninviewofhisapproachingmarriageandwasbeingredecoratedathisownexpense;theowner,arichGermantradesman,wouldnotentertaintheideaofbreakingthecontractwhichhadjustbeensignedandinsistedonthefullforfeitmoney,thoughPyotrPetrovitchwouldbegivinghimbacktheflatpracticallyredecorated。Inthesamewaytheupholsterersrefusedtoreturnasingleroubleoftheinstalmentpaidforthefurniturepurchasedbutnotyetremovedtotheflat。
　　“AmItogetmarriedsimplyforthesakeofthefurniture？”PyotrPetrovitchgroundhisteethandatthesametimeoncemorehehadagleamofdesperatehope。“Canallthatbereallysoirrevocablyover?Isitnousetomakeanothereffort？”ThethoughtofDouniasentavoluptuouspangthroughhisheart。Heenduredanguishatthatmoment,andifithadbeenpossibletoslayRaskolnikovinstantlybywishingit,PyotrPetrovitchwouldpromptlyhaveutteredthewish。
　　“Itwasmymistake,too,nottohavegiventhemmoney,“hethought,ashereturneddejectedlytoLebeziatnikov'sroom,“andwhyonearthwasIsuchaJew?Itwasfalseeconomy!Imeanttokeepthemwithoutapennysothattheyshouldturntomeastheirprovidence,andlookatthem!Foo!IfI'dspentsomefifteenhundredroublesonthemforthetrousseauandpresents,onknick-knacks,dressing-cases,jewellery,materials,andallthatsortoftrashfromKnopp'sandtheEnglishshop,mypositionwouldhavebeenbetterand……stronger!Theycouldnothaverefusedmesoeasily!Theyarethesortofpeoplethatwouldfeelboundtoreturnmoneyandpresentsiftheybrokeitoff;andtheywouldfindithardtodoit!
　　Andtheirconscienceswouldprickthem：howcanwedismissamanwhohashithertobeensogenerousanddelicate?……H'm!I'vemadeablunder。“
　　Andgrindinghisteethagain,PyotrPetrovitchcalledhimselfafool-butnotaloud,ofcourse。
　　Hereturnedhome,twiceasirritatedandangryasbefore。ThepreparationsforthefuneraldinneratKaterinaIvanovna'sexcitedhiscuriosityashepassed。Hehadheardaboutitthedaybefore;hefancied,indeed,thathehadbeeninvited,butabsorbedinhisowncareshehadpaidnoattention。InquiringofMadameLippevechselwhowasbusylayingthetablewhileKaterinaIvanovnawasawayatthecemetery,heheardthattheentertainmentwastobeagreataffair,thatallthelodgershadbeeninvited,amongthemsomewhohadnotknownthedeadman,thatevenAndreySemyonovitchLebeziatnikovwasinvitedinspiteofhispreviousquarrelwithKaterinaIvanovna,thathe,PyotrPetrovitch,wasnotonlyinvited,butwaseagerlyexpectedashewasthemostimportantofthelodgers。AmaliaIvanovnaherselfhadbeeninvitedwithgreatceremonyinspiteoftherecentunpleasantness,andsoshewasverybusywithpreparationsandwastakingapositivepleasureinthem;shewasmoreoverdresseduptothenines,allinnewblacksilk,andshewasproudofit。AllthissuggestedanideatoPyotrPetrovitchandhewentintohisroom,orratherLebeziatnikov's,somewhatthoughtful。HehadlearntthatRaskolnikovwastobeoneoftheguests。
　　AndreySemyonovitchhadbeenathomeallthemorning。TheattitudeofPyotrPetrovitchtothisgentlemanwasstrange,thoughperhapsnatural。PyotrPetrovitchhaddespisedandhatedhimfromthedayhecametostaywithhimandatthesametimeheseemedsomewhatafraidofhim。HehadnotcometostaywithhimonhisarrivalinPetersburgsimplyfromparsimony,thoughthathadbeenperhapshischiefobject。HehadheardofAndreySemyonovitch,whohadoncebeenhisward,asaleadingyoungprogressivewhowastakinganimportantpartincertaininterestingcircles,thedoingsofwhichwerealegendintheprovinces。IthadimpressedPyotrPetrovitch。Thesepowerfulomniscientcircleswhodespisedeveryoneandshowedeveryoneuphadlonginspiredinhimapeculiarbutquitevaguealarm。Hehadnot,ofcourse,beenabletoformevenanapproximatenotionofwhattheymeant。He,likeeveryone,hadheardthattherewere,especiallyinPetersburg,progressivesofsomesort,nihilistsandsoon,and,likemanypeople,heexaggeratedanddistortedthesignificanceofthosewordstoanabsurddegree。WhatformanyyearspasthehadfearedmorethananythingwasbeingshownupandthiswasthechiefgroundforhiscontinualuneasinessatthethoughtoftransferringhisbusinesstoPetersburg。Hewasafraidofthisaslittlechildrenaresometimespanic-stricken。Someyearsbefore,whenhewasjustenteringonhisowncareer,hehadcomeupontwocasesinwhichratherimportantpersonagesintheprovince,patronsofhis,hadbeencruellyshownup。Oneinstancehadendedingreatscandalforthepersonattackedandtheotherhadverynearlyendedinserioustrouble。ForthisreasonPyotrPetrovitchintendedtogointothesubjectassoonashereachedPetersburgand,ifnecessary,toanticipatecontingenciesbyseekingthefavourof“ouryoungergeneration。“HereliedonAndreySemyonovitchforthisandbeforehisvisittoRaskolnikovhehadsucceededinpickingupsomecurrentphrases。HesoondiscoveredthatAndreySemyonovitchwasacommonplacesimpleton,butthatbynomeansreassuredPyotrPetrovitch。Evenifhehadbeencertainthatalltheprogressiveswerefoolslikehim,itwouldnothaveallayedhisuneasiness。Allthedoctrines,theideas,thesystemswithwhichAndreySemyonovitchpesteredhimhadnointerestforhim。Hehadhisownobject-hesimplywantedtofindoutatoncewhatwashappeninghere。Hadthesepeopleanypowerornot?Hadheanythingtofearfromthem?Wouldtheyexposeanyenterpriseofhis?Andwhatpreciselywasnowtheobjectoftheirattacks?Couldhesomehowmakeuptothemandgetroundthemiftheyreallywerepowerful?Wasthisthethingtodoornot?Couldn'thegainsomethingthroughthem?Infacthundredsofquestionspresentedthemselves。
　　AndreySemyonovitchwasananaemic,scrofulouslittleman,withstrangelyflaxenmutton-chopwhiskersofwhichhewasveryproud。Hewasaclerkandhadalmostalwayssomethingwrongwithhiseyes。Hewasrathersoft-hearted,butself-confidentandsometimesextremelyconceitedinspeechwhichhadanabsurdeffect,incongruouswithhislittlefigure。HewasoneofthelodgersmostrespectedbyAmaliaIvanovna,forhedidnotgetdrunkandpaidregularlyforhislodgings。AndreySemyonovitchreallywasratherstupid;heattachedhimselftothecauseofprogressand“ouryoungergeneration“fromenthusiasm。Hewasoneofthenumerousandvariedlegionofdullards,ofhalf-animateabortions,conceited,half-educatedcoxcombs,whoattachthemselvestotheideamostinfashiononlytovulgariseitandwhocaricatureeverycausetheyserve,howeversincerely。
　　ThoughLebeziatnikovwassogood-natured,he,too,wasbeginningtodislikePyotrPetrovitch。Thishappenedonbothsidesunconsciously。HoweversimpleAndreySemyonovitchmightbe,hebegantoseethatPyotrPetrovitchwasdupinghimandsecretlydespisinghim,andthat“hewasnottherightsortofman。“HehadtriedexpoundingtohimthesystemofFourierandtheDarwiniantheory,butoflatePyotrPetrovitchbegantolistentoosarcasticallyandeventoberude。ThefactwashehadbeguninstinctivelytoguessthatLebeziatnikovwasnotmerelyacommonplacesimpleton,but,perhaps,aliar,too,andthathehadnoconnectionsofanyconsequenceeveninhisowncircle,buthadsimplypickedthingsupthird-hand;andthatverylikelyhedidnotevenknowmuchabouthisownworkofpropaganda,forhewasintoogreatamuddle。Afinepersonhewouldbetoshowanyoneup!Itmustbenoted,bytheway,thatPyotrPetrovitchhadduringthosetendayseagerlyacceptedthestrangestpraisefromAndreySemyonovitch;hehadnotprotested,forinstance,whenAndreySemyonovitchbelaudedhimforbeingreadytocontributetotheestablishmentofthenew“commune,“ortoabstainfromchristeninghisfuturechildren,ortoacquiesceifDouniaweretotakealoveramonthaftermarriage,andsoon。PyotrPetrovitchsoenjoyedhearinghisownpraisesthathedidnotdisdainevensuchvirtueswhentheywereattributedtohim。
　　PyotrPetrovitchhadhadoccasionthatmorningtorealisesomefivepercent。bondsandnowhesatdowntothetableandcountedoverbundlesofnotes。AndreySemyonovitchwhohardlyeverhadanymoneywalkedabouttheroompretendingtohimselftolookatallthosebanknoteswithindifferenceandevencontempt。NothingwouldhaveconvincedPyotrPetrovitchthatAndreySemyonovitchcouldreallylookonthemoneyunmoved,andthelatter,onhisside,keptthinkingbitterlythatPyotrPetrovitchwascapableofentertainingsuchanideaabouthimandwas,perhaps,gladoftheopportunityofteasinghisyoungfriendbyremindinghimofhisinferiorityandthegreatdifferencebetweenthem。
　　Hefoundhimincrediblyinattentiveandirritable,thoughhe,AndreySemyonovitch,beganenlargingonhisfavouritesubject,thefoundationofanewspecial“commune。“ThebriefremarksthatdroppedfromPyotrPetrovitchbetweentheclickingofthebeadsonthereckoningframebetrayedunmistakableanddiscourteousirony。Butthe“humane“
　　AndreySemyonovitchascribedPyotrPetrovitch'sill-humourtohisrecentbreachwithDouniaandhewasburningwithimpatiencetodiscourseonthattheme。Hehadsomethingprogressivetosayonthesubjectwhichmightconsolehisworthyfriendand“couldnotfail“
　　topromotehisdevelopment。
　　“Thereissomesortoffestivitybeingpreparedatthat……atthewidow's,isn'tthere？”PyotrPetrovitchaskedsuddenly,interruptingAndreySemyonovitchatthemostinterestingpassage。
　　“Why,don'tyouknow?Why,IwastellingyoulastnightwhatIthinkaboutallsuchceremonies。Andsheinvitedyoutoo,Iheard。Youweretalkingtoheryesterday……“
　　“Ishouldneverhaveexpectedthatbeggarlyfoolwouldhavespentonthisfeastallthemoneyshegotfromthatotherfool,Raskolnikov。
　　IwassurprisedjustnowasIcamethroughatthepreparationsthere,thewines!Severalpeopleareinvited。It'sbeyondeverything！”
　　continuedPyotrPetrovitch,whoseemedtohavesomeobjectinpursuingtheconversation。“What?YousayIamaskedtoo?Whenwasthat?I
　　don'tremember。ButIshan'tgo。WhyshouldI?Ionlysaidawordtoherinpassingyesterdayofthepossibilityofherobtainingayear'ssalaryasadestitutewidowofagovernmentclerk。Isupposeshehasinvitedmeonthataccount,hasn'tshe?He-he-he！”
　　“Idon'tintendtogoeither,“saidLebeziatnikov。
　　“Ishouldthinknot,aftergivingherathrashing!Youmightwellhesitate,he-he！”
　　“Whothrashed?Whom？”criedLebeziatnikov,flusteredandblushing。
　　“Why,youthrashedKaterinaIvanovnaamonthago。Iheardsoyesterday……sothat'swhatyourconvictionsamountto……andthewomanquestion,too,wasn'tquitesound,he-he-he！”andPyotrPetrovitch,asthoughcomforted,wentbacktoclickinghisbeads。
　　“It'sallslanderandnonsense！”criedLebeziatnikov,whowasalwaysafraidofallusionstothesubject。“Itwasnotlikethatatall,itwasquitedifferent。You'vehearditwrong;it'salibel。Iwassimplydefendingmyself。Sherushedatmefirstwithhernails,shepulledoutallmywhiskers……It'spermissableforanyoneIshouldhopetodefendhimselfandIneverallowanyonetouseviolencetomeonprinciple,forit'sanactofdespotism。WhatwasItodo?Isimplypushedherback。“
　　“He-he-he！”Luzhinwentonlaughingmaliciously。
　　“Youkeeponlikethatbecauseyouareoutofhumouryourself……
　　Butthat'snonsenseandithasnothing,nothingwhatevertodowiththewomanquestion!Youdon'tunderstand;Iusedtothink,indeed,thatifwomenareequaltomeninallrespectseveninstrengthasismaintainednowthereoughttobeequalityinthat,too。Ofcourse,Ireflectedafterwardsthatsuchaquestionoughtnotreallytoarise,forthereoughtnottobefightingandinthefuturesociety,fightingisunthinkable……andthatitwouldbeaqueerthingtoseekforequalityinfighting。Iamnotsostupid……though,ofcourse,thereisfighting……therewon'tbelater,butatpresentthereis……
　　confoundit!Howmuddledonegetswithyou!It'snotonthataccountthatIamnotgoing。Iamnotgoingonprinciple,nottotakepartintherevoltingconventionofmemorialdinners,that'swhy!Though,ofcourse,onemightgotolaughatit……Iamsorrytherewon'tbeanypriestsatit。Ishouldcertainlygoiftherewere。“
　　“Thenyouwouldsitdownatanotherman'stableandinsultitandthosewhoinvitedyou。Eh？”
　　“Certainlynotinsult,butprotest。Ishoulddoitwithagoodobject。Imightindirectlyassistthecauseofenlightenmentandpropaganda。It'sadutyofeverymantoworkforenlightenmentandpropagandaandthemoreharshly,perhaps,thebetter。Imightdropaseed,anidea……Andsomethingmightgrowupfromthatseed。HowshouldIbeinsultingthem?Theymightbeoffendedatfirst,butafterwardsthey'dseeI'ddonethemaservice。Youknow,Terebyevawhoisinthecommunitynowwasblamedbecausewhensheleftherfamilyand……devoted……herself,shewrotetoherfatherandmotherthatshewouldn'tgoonlivingconventionallyandwasenteringonafreemarriageanditwassaidthatthatwastooharsh,thatshemighthavesparedthemandhavewrittenmorekindly。Ithinkthat'sallnonsenseandthere'snoneedofsoftness,onthecontrary,what'swantedisprotest。Varentshadbeenmarriedsevenyears,sheabandonedhertwochildren,shetoldherhusbandstraightoutinaletter：'IhaverealisedthatIcannotbehappywithyou。Icanneverforgiveyouthatyouhavedeceivedmebyconcealingfrommethatthereisanotherorganisationofsocietybymeansofthecommunities。Ihaveonlylatelylearneditfromagreat-heartedmantowhomIhavegivenmyselfandwithwhomIamestablishingacommunity。IspeakplainlybecauseIconsideritdishonesttodeceiveyou。Doasyouthinkbest。Donothopetogetmeback,youaretoolate。Ihopeyouwillbehappy。'That'showletterslikethatoughttobewritten！”
　　“IsthatTerebyevatheoneyousaidhadmadeathirdfreemarriage？”
　　“No,it'sonlythesecond,really!Butwhatifitwerethefourth,whatifitwerethefifteenth,that'sallnonsense!AndifeverI
　　regrettedthedeathofmyfatherandmother,itisnow,andI
　　sometimesthinkifmyparentswerelivingwhataprotestIwouldhaveaimedatthem!Iwouldhavedonesomethingonpurpose……I
　　wouldhaveshownthem!Iwouldhaveastonishedthem!Iamreallysorrythereisnoone！”
　　“Tosurprise!He-he!Well,bethatasyouwill,“PyotrPetrovitchinterrupted,“buttellmethis;doyouknowthedeadman'sdaughter,thedelicate-lookinglittlething?It'struewhattheysayabouther,isn'tit？”
　　“Whatofit?Ithink,thatis,itismyownpersonalconviction,thatthisisthenormalconditionofwomen。Whynot?Imean,distinguons。Inourpresentsociety,itisnotaltogethernormal,becauseitiscompulsory,butinthefuturesociety,itwillbeperfectlynormal,becauseitwillbevoluntary。Evenasitis,shewasquiteright：shewassufferingandthatwasherasset,sotospeak,hercapitalwhichshehadaperfectrighttodisposeof。Ofcourse,inthefuturesociety,therewillbenoneedofassets,butherpartwillhaveanothersignificance,rationalandinharmonywithherenvironment。AstoSofyaSemyonovnapersonally,Iregardheractionasavigorousprotestagainsttheorganizationofsociety,andI
　　respectherdeeplyforit;IrejoiceindeedwhenIlookather！”
　　“Iwastoldthatyougotherturnedoutoftheselodgings。“
　　Lebeziatnikovwasenraged。
　　“That'sanotherslander,“heyelled。“Itwasnotsoatall!ThatwasallKaterinaIvanovna'sinvention,forshedidnotunderstand!AndI
　　nevermadelovetoSofyaSemyonovna!Iwassimplydevelopingher,entirelydisinterestedly,tryingtorousehertoprotest……AllI
　　wantedwasherprotestandSofyaSemyonovnacouldnothaveremainedhereanyway！”
　　“Haveyouaskedhertojoinyourcommunity？”
　　“Youkeeponlaughingandveryinappropriately,allowmetotellyou。Youdon'tunderstand!Thereisnosuchroleinacommunity。Thecommunityisestablishedthatthereshouldbenosuchroles。Inacommunity,sucharoleisessentiallytransformedandwhatisstupidhereissensiblethere,what,underpresentconditions,isunnaturalbecomesperfectlynaturalinthecommunity。Italldependsontheenvironment。It'salltheenvironmentandmanhimselfisnothing。
　　AndIamongoodtermswithSofyaSemyonovnatothisday,whichisaproofthatsheneverregardedmeashavingwrongedher。Iamtryingnowtoattracthertothecommunity,butonquite,quiteadifferentfooting。Whatareyoulaughingat?Wearetryingtoestablishacommunityofourown,aspecialone,onabroaderbasis。Wehavegonefurtherinourconvictions。Werejectmore!AndmeanwhileI'mstilldevelopingSofyaSemyonovna。Shehasabeautiful,beautifulcharacter！”
　　“Andyoutakeadvantageofherfinecharacter,eh?He-he！”
　　“No,no!Oh,no!Onthecontrary。“
　　“Oh,onthecontrary!He-he-he!Aqueerthingtosay！”
　　“Believeme!WhyshouldIdisguiseit?Infact,Ifeelitstrangemyselfhowtimid,chasteandmodernsheiswithme！”
　　“Andyou,ofcourse,aredevelopingher……he-he!tryingtoprovetoherthatallthatmodestyisnonsense？”
　　“Notatall,notatall!Howcoarsely,howstupidly-excusemesayingso-youmisunderstandtheworddevelopment!Goodheavens,how……crudeyoustillare!Wearestrivingforthefreedomofwomenandyouhaveonlyoneideainyourhead……Settingasidethegeneralquestionofchastityandfemininemodestyasuselessinthemselvesandindeedprejudices,Ifullyacceptherchastitywithme,becausethat'sforhertodecide。Ofcourseifsheweretotellmeherselfthatshewantedme,Ishouldthinkmyselfverylucky,becauseIlikethegirlverymuch;butasitis,noonehasevertreatedhermorecourteouslythanI,withmorerespectforherdignity……Iwaitinhopes,that'sall！”
　　“Youhadmuchbettermakeherapresentofsomething。Ibetyouneverthoughtofthat。“
　　“Youdon'tunderstand,asI'vetoldyoualready!Ofcourse,sheisinsuchaposition,butit'sanotherquestion。Quiteanotherquestion!
　　Yousimplydespiseher。Seeingafactwhichyoumistakenlyconsiderdeservingofcontempt,yourefusetotakeahumaneviewofafellowcreature。Youdon'tknowwhatacharactersheis!Iamonlysorrythatoflateshehasquitegivenupreadingandborrowingbooks。Iusedtolendthemtoher。Iamsorry,too,thatwithalltheenergyandresolutioninprotesting-whichshehasalreadyshownonce-shehaslittleself-reliance,little,sotosay,independence,soastobreakfreefromcertainprejudicesandcertainfoolishideas。Yetshethoroughlyunderstandssomequestions,forinstanceaboutkissingofhands,thatis,thatit'saninsulttoawomanforamantokissherhand,becauseit'sasignofinequality。WehadadebateaboutitandIdescribedittoher。Shelistenedattentivelytoanaccountoftheworkmen'sassociationsinFrance,too。NowIamexplainingthequestionofcomingintotheroominthefuturesociety。“
　　“Andwhat'sthat,pray？”
　　“Wehadadebatelatelyonthequestion：Hasamemberofthecommunitytherighttoenteranothermember'sroom,whethermanorwomanatanytime……andwedecidedthathehas！”
　　“Itmightbeataninconvenientmoment,he-he！”
　　Lebeziatnikovwasreallyangry。
　　“Youarealwaysthinkingofsomethingunpleasant,“hecriedwithaversion。“Tfoo!HowvexedIamthatwhenIwasexpoundingoursystem,Ireferredprematurelytothequestionofpersonalprivacy!It'salwaysastumbling-blocktopeoplelikeyou,theyturnintoridiculebeforetheyunderstandit。Andhowproudtheyareofit,too!Tfoo!
　　I'veoftenmaintainedthatthatquestionshouldnotbeapproachedbyanovicetillhehasafirmfaithinthesystem。Andtellme,please,whatdoyoufindsoshamefulevenincesspools?Ishouldbethefirsttobereadytocleanoutanycesspoolyoulike。Andit'snotaquestionofself-sacrifice,it'ssimplywork,honourable,usefulworkwhichisasgoodasanyotherandmuchbetterthantheworkofaRaphaelandaPushkin,becauseitismoreuseful。“
　　“Andmorehonourable,morehonourable,he-he-he！”
　　“Whatdoyoumeanby'morehonourable'?Idon'tunderstandsuchexpressionstodescribehumanactivity。'Morehonourable,''nobler'-
　　allthoseareold-fashionedprejudiceswhichIreject。Everythingwhichisofusetomankindishonourable。Ionlyunderstandoneword：useful!Youcansniggerasmuchasyoulike,butthat'sso！”
　　PyotrPetrovitchlaughedheartily。Hehadfinishedcountingthemoneyandwasputtingitaway。Butsomeofthenotesheleftonthetable。The“cesspoolquestion“hadalreadybeenasubjectofdisputebetweenthem。WhatwasabsurdwasthatitmadeLebeziatnikovreallyangry,whileitamusedLuzhinandatthatmomentheparticularlywantedtoangerhisyoungfriend。
　　“It'syourill-luckyesterdaythatmakesyousoill-humouredandannoying,“blurtedoutLebeziatnikov,whoinspiteofhis“independence“andhis“protests“didnotventuretoopposePyotrPetrovitchandstillbehavedtohimwithsomeoftherespecthabitualinearlieryears。
　　“You'dbettertellmethis,“PyotrPetrovitchinterruptedwithhaughtydispleasure,“canyou……orratherareyoureallyfriendlyenoughwiththatyoungpersontoaskhertostepinhereforaminute?
　　Ithinkthey'veallcomebackfromthecemetery……Ihearthesoundofsteps……Iwanttoseeher,thatyoungperson。“
　　“Whatfor？”Lebeziatnikovaskedwithsurprise。
　　“Oh,Iwantto。Iamleavinghereto-dayorto-morrowandthereforeIwantedtospeaktoherabout……However,youmaybepresentduringtheinterview。It'sbetteryoushouldbe,indeed。Forthere'snoknowingwhatyoumightimagine。“
　　“Ishan'timagineanything。Ionlyaskedand,ifyou'veanythingtosaytoher,nothingiseasierthantocallherin。I'llgodirectlyandyoumaybesureIwon'tbeinyourway。“
　　FiveminuteslaterLebeziatnikovcameinwithSonia。Shecameinverymuchsurprisedandovercomewithshynessasusual。Shewasalwaysshyinsuchcircumstancesandwasalwaysafraidofnewpeople,shehadbeenasachildandwasevenmoresonow……PyotrPetrovitchmether“politelyandaffably,“butwithacertainshadeofbanteringfamiliaritywhichinhisopinionwassuitableforamanofhisrespectabilityandweightindealingwithacreaturesoyoungandsointerestingasshe。Hehastenedto“reassure“herandmadehersitdownfacinghimatthetable。Soniasatdown,lookedabouther-atLebeziatnikov,atthenoteslyingonthetableandthenagainatPyotrPetrovitchandhereyesremainedrivetedonhim。Lebeziatnikovwasmovingtothedoor。PyotrPetrovitchsignedtoSoniatoremainseatedandstoppedLebeziatnikov。
　　“IsRaskolnikovinthere?Hashecome？”heaskedhiminawhisper。
　　“Raskolnikov?Yes。Why?Yes,heisthere。Isawhimjustcomein……
　　Why？”
　　“Well,Iparticularlybegyoutoremainherewithusandnottoleavemealonewiththis……youngwoman。Ionlywantafewwordswithher,butGodknowswhattheymaymakeofit。Ishouldn'tlikeRaskolnikovtorepeatanything……YouunderstandwhatImean？”
　　“Iunderstand！”Lebeziatnikovsawthepoint。“Yes,youareright……
　　Ofcourse,Iamconvincedpersonallythatyouhavenoreasontobeuneasy,but……still,youareright。CertainlyI'llstay。I'llstandhereatthewindowandnotbeinyourway……Ithinkyouareright……“
　　PyotrPetrovitchreturnedtothesofa,satdownoppositeSonia,lookedattentivelyatherandassumedanextremelydignified,evensevereexpression,asmuchastosay,“don'tyoumakeanymistake,madam。“Soniawasoverwhelmedwithembarrassment。
　　“Inthefirstplace,SofyaSemyonovna,willyoumakemyexcusestoyourrespectedmamma……That'sright,isn'tit?KaterinaIvanovnastandsintheplaceofamothertoyou？”PyotrPetrovitchbeganwithgreatdignity,thoughaffably。
　　Itwasevidentthathisintentionswerefriendly。
　　“Quiteso,yes;theplaceofamother,“Soniaanswered,timidlyandhurriedly。
　　“Thenwillyoumakemyapologiestoher?ThroughinevitablecircumstancesIamforcedtobeabsentandshallnotbeatthedinnerinspiteofyourmamma'skindinvitation。“
　　“Yes……I'lltellher……atonce。“
　　AndSoniahastilyjumpedupfromherseat。
　　“Wait,that'snotall,“PyotrPetrovitchdetainedher,smilingathersimplicityandignoranceofgoodmanners,“andyouknowmelittle,mydearSofyaSemyonovna,ifyousupposeIwouldhaveventuredtotroubleapersonlikeyouforamatterofsolittleconsequenceaffectingmyselfonly。Ihaveanotherobject。“
　　Soniasatdownhurriedly。Hereyesrestedagainforaninstantonthegreyandrainbow-colourednotesthatremainedonthetable,butshequicklylookedawayandfixedhereyesonPyotrPetrovitch。Shefeltithorriblyindecorous,especiallyforher,tolookatanotherperson'smoney。ShestaredatthegoldeyeglasswhichPyotrPetrovitchheldinhislefthandandatthemassiveandextremelyhandsomeringwithayellowstoneonhismiddlefinger。Butsuddenlyshelookedawayand,notknowingwheretoturn,endedbystaringPyotrPetrovitchagainstraightintheface。Afterapauseofstillgreaterdignityhecontinued。
　　“IchancedyesterdayinpassingtoexchangeacoupleofwordswithKaterinaIvanovna,poorwoman。Thatwassufficienttoenablemetoascertainthatsheisinaposition-preternatural,ifonemaysoexpressit。“
　　“Yes……preternatural……“Soniahurriedlyassented。
　　“Oritwouldbesimplerandmorecomprehensibletosay,ill。“
　　“Yes,simplerandmorecomprehen……yes,ill。“
　　“Quiteso。Sothenfromafeelingofhumanityandsotospeakcompassion,Ishouldbegladtobeofservicetoherinanyway,foreseeingherunfortunateposition。Ibelievethewholeofthispoverty-strickenfamilydependsnowentirelyonyou？”
　　“Allowmetoask,“Soniarosetoherfeet,“didyousaysomethingtoheryesterdayofthepossibilityofapension?Becauseshetoldmeyouhadundertakentogetherone。Wasthattrue？”
　　“Notintheslightest,andindeedit'sanabsurdity!Imerelyhintedatherobtainingtemporaryassistanceasthewidowofanofficialwhohaddiedintheservice-ifonlyshehaspatronage……butapparentlyyourlateparenthadnotservedhisfulltermandhadnotindeedbeenintheserviceatalloflate。Infact,iftherecouldbeanyhope,itwouldbeveryephemeral,becausetherewouldbenoclaimforassistanceinthatcase,farfromit……Andsheisdreamingofapensionalready,he-he-he!……Ago-aheadlady！”
　　“Yes,sheis。Forsheiscredulousandgood-hearted,andshebelieveseverythingfromthegoodnessofherheartand……and……andsheislikethat……yes……Youmustexcuseher,“saidSonia,andagainshegotuptogo。
　　“Butyouhaven'theardwhatIhavetosay。“
　　“No,Ihaven'theard,“mutteredSonia。
　　“Thensitdown。“Shewasterriblyconfused;shesatdownagainathirdtime。
　　“Seeingherpositionwithherunfortunatelittleones,Ishouldbeglad,asIhavesaidbefore,sofarasliesinmypower,tobeofservice,thatis,sofarasisinmypower,notmore。Onemightforinstancegetupasubscriptionforher,oralottery,somethingofthesort,suchasisalwaysarrangedinsuchcasesbyfriendsorevenoutsidersdesirousofassistingpeople。ItwasofthatIintendedtospeaktoyou;itmightbedone。“
　　“Yes,yes……Godwillrepayyouforit,“falteredSonia,gazingintentlyatPyotrPetrovitch。
　　“Itmightbe,butwewilltalkofitlater。Wemightbeginitto-day,wewilltalkitoverthiseveningandlaythefoundationsotospeak。Cometomeatseveno'clock。Mr。Lebeziatnikov,Ihope,willassistus。ButthereisonecircumstanceofwhichIoughttowarnyoubeforehandandforwhichIventuretotroubleyou,SofyaSemyonovna,tocomehere。Inmyopinionmoneycannotbe,indeedit'sunsafetoputitintoKaterinaIvanovna'sownhands。Thedinnerto-dayisaproofofthat。Thoughshehasnot,sotospeak,acrustofbreadforto-morrowand……well,bootsorshoes,oranything;shehasboughtto-dayJamaicarum,andeven,Ibelieve,Madeiraand……andcoffee。IsawitasIpassedthrough。To-morrowitwillallfalluponyouagain,theywon'thaveacrustofbread。It'sabsurd,really,andso,tomythinking,asubscriptionoughttoberaisedsothattheunhappywidowshouldnotknowofthemoney,butonlyyou,forinstance。AmIright？”
　　“Idon'tknow……thisisonlyto-day,onceinherlife……Shewassoanxioustodohonour,tocelebratethememory……Andsheisverysensible……butjustasyouthinkandIshallbevery,very……theywillallbe……andGodwillreward……andtheorphans……“
　　Soniaburstintotears。
　　“Verywell,then,keepitinmind;andnowwillyouacceptforthebenefitofyourrelationthesmallsumthatIamabletospare,frommepersonally。Iamveryanxiousthatmynameshouldnotbementionedinconnectionwithit。Here……havingsotospeakanxietiesofmyown,Icannotdomore……“
　　AndPyotrPetrovitchheldouttoSoniaaten-roublenotecarefullyunfolded。Soniatookit,flushedcrimson,jumpedup,mutteredsomethingandbegantakingleave。PyotrPetrovitchaccompaniedherceremoniouslytothedoor。Shegotoutoftheroomatlast,agitatedanddistressed,andreturnedtoKaterinaIvanovna,overwhelmedwithconfusion。
　　AllthistimeLebeziatnikovhadstoodatthewindoworwalkedabouttheroom,anxiousnottointerrupttheconversation;whenSoniahadgonehewalkeduptoPyotrPetrovitchandsolemnlyheldouthishand。
　　“Iheardandsaweverything,“hesaid,layingstressonthelastverb。“Thatishonourable,Imeantosay,it'shumane!Youwantedtoavoidgratitude,Isaw!AndalthoughIcannot,Iconfess,inprinciplesympathisewithprivatecharity,foritnotonlyfailstoeradicatetheevilbutevenpromotesit,yetImustadmitthatIsawyouractionwithpleasure-yes,yes,Ilikeit。“
　　“That'sallnonsense,“mutteredPyotrPetrovitch,somewhatdisconcerted,lookingcarefullyatLebeziatnikov。
　　“No,it'snotnonsense!Amanwhohassuffereddistressandannoyanceasyoudidyesterdayandwhoyetcansympathisewiththemiseryofothers,suchaman……eventhoughheismakingasocialmistake-isstilldeservingofrespect!Ididnotexpectitindeedofyou,PyotrPetrovitch,especiallyasaccordingtoyourideas……oh,whatadrawbackyourideasaretoyou!Howdistressedyouareforinstancebyyourillluckyesterday,“criedthesimple-heartedLebeziatnikov,whofeltareturnofaffectionforPyotrPetrovitch。
　　“And,whatdoyouwantwithmarriage,withlegalmarriage,mydear,noblePyotrPetrovitch?Whydoyouclingtothislegalityofmarriage?
　　Well,youmaybeatmeifyoulike,butIamglad,positivelygladithasn'tcomeoff,thatyouarefree,thatyouarenotquitelostforhumanity……yousee,I'vespokenmymind！”
　　“BecauseIdon'twantinyourfreemarriagetobemadeafoolofandtobringupanotherman'schildren,that'swhyIwantlegalmarriage,“
　　Luzhinrepliedinordertomakesomeanswer。
　　Heseemedpreoccupiedbysomething。
　　“Children?Youreferredtochildren,“Lebeziatnikovstartedofflikeawarhorseatthetrumpetcall。“Childrenareasocialquestionandaquestionoffirstimportance,Iagree;butthequestionofchildrenhasanothersolution。Somerefusetohavechildrenaltogether,becausetheysuggesttheinstitutionofthefamily。
　　We'llspeakofchildrenlater,butnowastothequestionofhonour,I
　　confessthat'smyweakpoint。Thathorrid,military,Pushkinexpressionisunthinkableinthedictionaryofthefuture。Whatdoesitmeanindeed?It'snonsense,therewillbenodeceptioninafreemarriage!Thatisonlythenaturalconsequenceofalegalmarriage,sotosay,itscorrective,aprotest。Sothatindeedit'snothumiliating……andifIever,tosupposeanabsurdity,weretobelegallymarried,Ishouldbepositivelygladofit。Ishouldsaytomywife：'Mydear,hithertoIhavelovedyou,nowIrespectyou,foryou'veshownyoucanprotest!'Youlaugh!That'sbecauseyouareofincapableofgettingawayfromprejudices。Confounditall!I
　　understandnowwheretheunpleasantnessisofbeingdeceivedinalegalmarriage,butit'ssimplyadespicableconsequenceofadespicablepositioninwhichbotharehumiliated。Whenthedeceptionisopen,asinafreemarriage,thenitdoesnotexist,it'sunthinkable。Yourwifewillonlyprovehowsherespectsyoubyconsideringyouincapableofopposingherhappinessandavengingyourselfonherforhernewhusband。Damnitall!IsometimesdreamifIweretobemarried,foo!ImeanifIweretomarry,legallyornot,it'sjustthesame,Ishouldpresentmywifewithaloverifshehadnotfoundoneforherself。'Mydear,'Ishouldsay,'Iloveyou,butevenmorethanthatIdesireyoutorespectme。See!'AmI
　　notright？”
　　PyotrPetrovitchsniggeredashelistened,butwithoutmuchmerriment。Hehardlyhearditindeed。HewaspreoccupiedwithsomethingelseandevenLebeziatnikovatlastnoticedit。PyotrPetrovitchseemedexcitedandrubbedhishands。Lebeziatnikovrememberedallthisandreflecteduponitafterwards。
　　ChapterTwoITWOULDbedifficulttoexplainexactlywhatcouldhaveoriginatedtheideaofthatsenselessdinnerinKaterinaIvanovna'sdisorderedbrain。Nearlytenofthetwentyroubles,givenbyRaskolnikovforMarmeladov'sfuneral,werewasteduponit。PossiblyKaterinaIvanovnafeltobligedtohonourthememoryofthedeceased“suitably,“thatallthelodgers,andstillmoreAmaliaIvanovna,mightknow“thathewasinnowaytheirinferior,andperhapsverymuchtheirsuperior,“andthatnoonehadtheright“toturnuphisnoseathim。“Perhapsthechiefelementwasthatpeculiar“poorman'spride,“whichcompelsmanypoorpeopletospendtheirlastsavingsonsometraditionalsocialceremony,simplyinordertodo“likeotherpeople,“andnotto“belookeddownupon。“Itisveryprobable,too,thatKaterinaIvanovnalongedonthisoccasion,atthemomentwhensheseemedtobeabandonedbyeveryone,toshowthose“wretchedcontemptiblelodgers“thatsheknew“howtodothings,howtoentertain“andthatshehadbeenbroughtup“inagenteel,shemightalmostsayaristocraticcolonel'sfamily“andhadnotbeenmeantforsweepingfloorsandwashingthechildren'sragsatnight。Eventhepoorestandmostbroken-spiritedpeoplearesometimesliabletotheseparoxysmsofprideandvanitywhichtaketheformofanirresistiblenervouscraving。AndKaterinaIvanovnawasnotbroken-spirited;shemighthavebeenkilledbycircumstance,butherspiritcouldnothavebeenbroken,thatis,shecouldnothavebeenintimidated,herwillcouldnotbecrushed。MoreoverSoniahadsaidwithgoodreasonthathermindwasunhinged。Shecouldnotbesaidtobeinsane,butforayearpastshehadbeensoharassedthathermindmightwellbeoverstrained。Thelaterstagesofconsumptionareapt,doctorstellus,toaffecttheintellect。
　　Therewasnogreatvarietyofwines,norwasthereMadeira;butwinetherewas。Therewasvodka,rumandLisbonwine,allofthepoorestqualitybutinsufficientquantity。Besidesthetraditionalriceandhoney,therewerethreeorfourdishes,oneofwhichconsistedofpancakes,allpreparedinAmaliaIvanovna'skitchen。Twosamovarswereboiling,thatteaandpunchmightbeofferedafterdinner。KaterinaIvanovnahadherselfseentopurchasingtheprovisions,withthehelpofoneofthelodgers,anunfortunatelittlePolewhohadsomehowbeenstrandedatMadameLippevechsel's。HepromptlyputhimselfatKaterinaIvanovna'sdisposalandhadbeenallthatmorningandallthedaybeforerunningaboutasfastashislegscouldcarryhim,andveryanxiousthateveryoneshouldbeawareofit。ForeverytrifleherantoKaterinaIvanovna,evenhuntingheroutatthebazaar,ateveryinstantcalledher“Pani。“Shewasheartilysickofhimbeforetheend,thoughshehaddeclaredatfirstthatshecouldnothavegotonwithoutthis“serviceableandmagnanimousman。“ItwasoneofKaterinaIvanovna'scharacteristicstopainteveryoneshemetinthemostglowingcolours。Herpraisesweresoexaggeratedassometimestobeembarrassing;shewouldinventvariouscircumstancestothecreditofhernewacquaintanceandquitegenuinelybelieveintheirreality。Thenallofasuddenshewouldbedisillusionedandwouldrudelyandcontemptuouslyrepulsethepersonshehadonlyafewhoursbeforebeenliterallyadoring。Shewasnaturallyofagay,livelyandpeace-lovingdisposition,butfromcontinualfailuresandmisfortunesshehadcometodesiresokeenlythatallshouldliveinpeaceandjoyandshouldnotdaretobreakthepeace,thattheslightestjar,thesmallestdisasterreducedheralmosttofrenzy,andshewouldpassinaninstantfromthebrightesthopesandfanciestocursingherfateandraving,andknockingherheadagainstthewall。
　　AmaliaIvanovna,too,suddenlyacquiredextraordinaryimportanceinKaterinaIvanovna'seyesandwastreatedbyherwithextraordinaryrespect,probablyonlybecauseAmaliaIvanovnahadthrownherselfheartandsoulintothepreparations。Shehadundertakentolaythetable,toprovidethelinen,crockery,&c。,andtocookthedishesinherkitchen,andKaterinaIvanovnahadleftitallinherhandsandgoneherselftothecemetery。
　　Everythinghadbeenwelldone。Eventhetableclothwasnearlyclean;
　　thecrockery,knives,forksandglasseswere,ofcourse,ofallshapesandpatterns,lentbydifferentlodgers,butthetablewasproperlylaidatthetimefixed,andAmaliaIvanovna,feelingshehaddoneherworkwell,hadputonablacksilkdressandacapwithnewmourningribbonsandmetthereturningpartywithsomepride。Thispride,thoughjustifiable,displeasedKaterinaIvanovnaforsomereason：“asthoughthetablecouldnothavebeenlaidexceptbyAmaliaIvanovna！”Shedislikedthecapwithnewribbons,too。“Couldshebestuckup,thestupidGerman,becauseshewasmistressofthehouse,andhadconsentedasafavourtohelpherpoorlodgers!Asafavour!
　　Fancythat!KaterinaIvanovna'sfatherwhohadbeenacolonelandalmostagovernorhadsometimeshadthetablesetforfortypersons,andthenanyonelikeAmaliaIvanovna,orratherLudwigovna,wouldnothavebeenallowedintothekitchen。“
　　KaterinaIvanovna,however,putoffexpressingherfeelingsforthetimeandcontentedherselfwithtreatinghercoldly,thoughshedecidedinwardlythatshewouldcertainlyhavetoputAmaliaIvanovnadownandsetherinherproperplace,forgoodnessonlyknewwhatshewasfancyingherself。KaterinaIvanovnawasirritatedtoobythefactthathardlyanyofthelodgersinvitedhadcometothefuneral,exceptthePolewhohadjustmanagedtorunintothecemetery,whiletothememorialdinnerthepoorestandmostinsignificantofthemhadturnedup,thewretchedcreatures,manyofthemnotquitesober。Theolderandmorerespectableofthemall,asifbycommonconsent,stayedaway。PyotrPetrovitchLuzhin,forinstance,whomightbesaidtobethemostrespectableofallthelodgers,didnotappear,thoughKaterinaIvanovnahadtheeveningbeforetoldalltheworld,thatisAmaliaIvanovna,Polenka,SoniaandthePole,thathewasthemostgenerous,noble-heartedmanwithalargepropertyandvastconnections,whohadbeenafriendofherfirsthusband's,andaguestinherfather'shouse,andthathehadpromisedtouseallhisinfluencetosecureheraconsiderablepension。ItmustbenotedthatwhenKaterinaIvanovnaexaltedanyone'sconnectionsandfortune,itwaswithoutanyulteriormotive,quitedisinterestedly,forthemerepleasureofaddingtotheconsequenceofthepersonpraised。Probably“takinghiscue“fromLuzhin,“thatcontemptiblewretchLebeziatnikovhadnotturnedupeither。Whatdidhefancyhimself?HewasonlyaskedoutofkindnessandbecausehewassharingthesameroomwithPyotrPetrovitchandwasafriendofhis,sothatitwouldhavebeenawkwardnottoinvitehim。“
　　Amongthosewhofailedtoappearwere“thegenteelladyandherold-maidishdaughter,“whohadonlybeenlodgersinthehouseforthelastfortnight,buthadseveraltimescomplainedofthenoiseanduproarinKaterinaIvanovna'sroom,especiallywhenMarmeladovhadcomebackdrunk。KaterinaIvanovnaheardthisfromAmaliaIvanovnawho,quarrellingwithKaterinaIvanovna,andthreateningtoturnthewholefamilyoutofdoors,hadshoutedatherthatthey“werenotworththefoot“ofthehonourablelodgerswhomtheyweredisturbing。
　　KaterinaIvanovnadeterminednowtoinvitethisladyandherdaughter,“whosefootshewasnotworth,“andwhohadturnedawayhaughtilywhenshecasuallymetthem,sothattheymightknowthat“shewasmorenobleinherthoughtsandfeelingsanddidnotharbourmalice,“andmightseethatshewasnotaccustomedtoherwayofliving。Shehadproposedtomakethiscleartothematdinnerwithallusionstoherlatefather'sgovernorship,andalsoatthesametimetohintthatitwasexceedinglystupidofthemtoturnawayonmeetingher。Thefatcolonel-majorhewasreallyadischargedofficeroflowrankwasalsoabsent,butitappearedthathehadbeen“nothimself“forthelasttwodays。ThepartyconsistedofthePole,awretchedlookingclerkwithaspottyfaceandagreasycoat,whohadnotawordtosayforhimself,andsmeltabominably,adeafandalmostblindoldmanwhohadoncebeeninthepostofficeandwhohadbeenfromimmemorialagesmaintainedbysomeoneatAmaliaIvanovna's。
　　Aretiredclerkofthecommissariatdepartmentcame,too;hewasdrunk,hadaloudandmostunseemlylaughandonlyfancy-waswithoutawaistcoat!OneofthevisitorssatstraightdowntothetablewithoutevengreetingKaterinaIvanovna。Finallyonepersonhavingnosuitappearedinhisdressinggown,butthiswastoomuch,andtheeffortsofAmaliaIvanovnaandthePolesucceededinremovinghim。ThePolebroughtwithhim,however,twootherPoleswhodidnotliveatAmaliaIvanovna'sandwhomnoonehadseenherebefore。AllthisirritatedKaterinaIvanovnaintensely。“Forwhomhadtheymadeallthesepreparationsthen？”Tomakeroomforthevisitorsthechildrenhadnotevenbeenlaidforatthetable;butthetwolittleonesweresittingonabenchinthefurthestcornerwiththeirdinnerlaidonabox,whilePolenkaasabiggirlhadtolookafterthem,feedthem,andkeeptheirnoseswipedlikewell-bredchildren's。
　　KaterinaIvanovna,infact,couldhardlyhelpmeetingherguestswithincreaseddignity,andevenhaughtiness。Shestaredatsomeofthemwithspecialseverity,andloftilyinvitedthemtotaketheirseats。RushingtotheconclusionthatAmaliaIvanovnamustberesponsibleforthosewhowereabsent,shebegantreatingherwithextremenonchalance,whichthelatterpromptlyobservedandresented。Suchabeginningwasnogoodomenfortheend。Allwereseatedatlast。
　　Raskolnikovcameinalmostatthemomentoftheirreturnfromthecemetery。KaterinaIvanovnawasgreatlydelightedtoseehim,inthefirstplace,becausehewastheone“educatedvisitor,and,aseveryoneknew,wasintwoyearstotakeaprofessorshipintheuniversity,“
　　andsecondlybecauseheimmediatelyandrespectfullyapologisedforhavingbeenunabletobeatthefuneral。Shepositivelypounceduponhim,andmadehimsitonherlefthandAmaliaIvanovnawasonherright。Inspiteofhercontinualanxietythatthedishesshouldbepassedroundcorrectlyandthateveryoneshouldtastethem,inspiteoftheagonisingcoughwhichinterruptedhereveryminuteandseemedtohavegrownworseduringthelastfewdaysshehastenedtopouroutinahalfwhispertoRaskolnikovallhersuppressedfeelingsandherjustindignationatthefailureofthedinner,interspersingherremarkswithlivelyanduncontrollablelaughterattheexpenseofhervisitorsandespeciallyofherlandlady。
　　“It'sallthatcuckoo'sfault!YouknowwhomImean?Her,her！”
　　KaterinaIvanovnanoddedtowardsthelandlady。“Lookather,she'smakingroundeyes,shefeelsthatwearetalkingaboutherandcan'tunderstand。Pfoo,theowl!Ha-ha!Cough-cough-cough。Andwhatdoessheputonthatcapfor?Cough-cough-cough。Haveyounoticedthatshewantseveryonetoconsiderthatsheispatronisingmeanddoingmeanhonourbybeinghere?Iaskedherlikeasensiblewomantoinvitepeople,especiallythosewhoknewmylatehusband,andlookatthesetoffoolsshehasbrought!Thesweeps!Lookatthatonewiththespottyface。AndthosewretchedPoles,ha-ha-ha!
　　Cough-cough-cough。Notoneofthemhaseverpokedhisnoseinhere,I'veneverseteyesonthem。Whathavetheycomeherefor,Iaskyou?Theretheysitinarow。Hey,Pan！”shecriedsuddenlytooneofthem,“haveyoutastedthepancakes?Takesomemore!Havesomebeer!Won'tyouhavesomevodka?Look,he'sjumpedupandismakinghisbows,theymustbequitestarved,poorthings。Nevermind,letthemeat!Theydon'tmakeanoise,anyway,thoughI'mreallyafraidforourlandlady'ssilverspoons……AmaliaIvanovna！”sheaddressedhersuddenly,almostaloud,“ifyourspoonsshouldhappentobestolen,Iwon'tberesponsible,Iwarnyou!Ha-ha-ha！”ShelaughedturningtoRaskolnikov,andagainnoddingtowardsthelandlady,inhighgleeathersally。“Shedidn'tunderstand,shedidn'tunderstandagain!Lookhowshesitswithhermouthopen!Anowl,arealowl!Anowlinnewribbons,ha-ha-ha！”
　　Hereherlaughturnedagaintoaninsufferablefitofcoughingthatlastedfiveminutes。Dropsofperspirationstoodoutonherforeheadandherhandkerchiefwasstainedwithblood。SheshowedRaskolnikovthebloodinsilence,andassoonasshecouldgetherbreathbeganwhisperingtohimagainwithextremeanimationandahecticflushonhercheeks。
　　“Doyouknow,Igaveherthemostdelicateinstructions,sotospeak,forinvitingthatladyandherdaughter,youunderstandofwhomIamspeaking?Itneededtheutmostdelicacy,thegreatestnicety,butshehasmanagedthingssothatthatfool,thatconceitedbaggage,thatprovincialnonentity,simplybecausesheisthewidowofamajor,andhascometotryandgetapensionandtofrayoutherskirtsinthegovernmentoffices,becauseatfiftyshepaintsherfaceeverybodyknowsit……acreaturelikethatdidnotthinkfittocome,andhasnotevenansweredtheinvitation,whichthemostordinarygoodmannersrequired!Ican'tunderstandwhyPyotrPetrovitchhasnotcome!Butwhere'sSonia?Wherehasshegone?Ah,theresheisatlast!whatisit,Sonia,wherehaveyoubeen?It'soddthatevenatyourfather'sfuneralyoushouldbesounpunctual。RodionRomanovitch,makeroomforherbesideyou。That'syourplace,Sonia……
　　takewhatyoulike。Havesomeofthecoldentreewithjelly,that'sthebest。They'llbringthepancakesdirectly。Havetheygiventhechildrensome?Polenka,haveyougoteverything?
　　Cough-cough-cough。That'sallright。Beagoodgirl,Lida,and,Kolya,don'tfidgetwithyourfeet;sitlikealittlegentleman。
　　Whatareyousaying,Sonia？”
　　SoniahastenedtogiveherPyotrPetrovitch'sapologies,tryingtospeakloudenoughforeveryonetohearandcarefullychoosingthemostrespectfulphraseswhichsheattributedtoPyotrPetrovitch。
　　SheaddedthatPyotrPetrovitchhadparticularlytoldhertosaythat,assoonashepossiblycould,hewouldcomeimmediatelytodiscussbusinessalonewithherandtoconsiderwhatcouldbedoneforher,&c。,&c。
　　SoniaknewthatthiswouldcomfortKaterinaIvanovna,wouldflatterherandgratifyherpride。ShesatdownbesideRaskolnikov;
　　shemadehimahurriedbow,glancingcuriouslyathim。Butfortherestofthetimesheseemedtoavoidlookingathimorspeakingtohim。Sheseemedabsent-minded,thoughshekeptlookingatKaterinaIvanovna,tryingtopleaseher。NeithershenorKaterinaIvanovnahadbeenabletogetmourning;Soniawaswearingdarkbrown,andKaterinaIvanovnahadonheronlydress,adarkstripedcottonone。
　　ThemessagefromPyotrPetrovitchwasverysuccessful。ListeningtoSoniawithdignity,KaterinaIvanovnainquiredwithequaldignityhowPyotrPetrovitchwas,thenatoncewhisperedalmostaloudtoRaskolnikovthatitcertainlywouldhavebeenstrangeforamanofPyotrPetrovitch'spositionandstandingtofindhimselfinsuch“extraordinarycompany,“inspiteofhisdevotiontoherfamilyandhisoldfriendshipwithherfather。
　　“That'swhyIamsogratefultoyou,RodionRomanovitch,thatyouhavenotdisdainedmyhospitality,eveninsuchsurroundings,“sheaddedalmostaloud。“ButIamsurethatitwasonlyyourspecialaffectionformypoorhusbandthathasmadeyoukeepyourpromise。“
　　Thenoncemorewithprideanddignityshescannedhervisitors,andsuddenlyinquiredaloudacrossthetableofthedeafman：
　　“wouldn'thehavesomemoremeat,andhadhebeengivensomewine？”
　　Theoldmanmadenoanswerandforalongwhilecouldnotunderstandwhathewasasked,thoughhisneighboursamusedthemselvesbypokingandshakinghim。Hesimplygazedabouthimwithhismouthopen,whichonlyincreasedthegeneralmirth。
　　“Whatanimbecile!Look,look!Whywashebrought?ButastoPyotrPetrovitch,Ialwayshadconfidenceinhim,“KaterinaIvanovnacontinued,“and,ofcourse,heisnotlike……“withanextremelysternfacesheaddressedAmaliaIvanovnasosharplyandloudlythatthelatterwasquitedisconcerted,“notlikeyourdressedupdraggletailswhommyfatherwouldnothavetakenascooksintohiskitchen,andmylatehusbandwouldhavedonethemhonourifhehadinvitedtheminthegoodnessofhisheart。“
　　“Yes,hewasfondofdrink,hewasfondofit,hediddrink！”
　　criedthecommissariatclerk,gulpingdownhistwelfthglassofvodka。
　　“Mylatehusbandcertainlyhadthatweakness,andeveryoneknowsit,“KaterinaIvanovnaattackedhimatonce,“buthewasakindandhonourableman,wholovedandrespectedhisfamily。Theworstofitwashisgoodnaturemadehimtrustallsortsofdisreputablepeople,andhedrankwithfellowswhowerenotworththesoleofhisshoe。
　　Wouldyoubelieveit,RodionRomanovitch,theyfoundagingerbreadcockinhispocket;hewasdeaddrunk,buthedidnotforgetthechildren！”
　　“Acock?Didyousayacock？”shoutedthecommissariatclerk。
　　KaterinaIvanovnadidnotvouchsafeareply。Shesighed,lostinthought。
　　“Nodoubtyouthink,likeeveryone,thatIwastooseverewithhim,“shewenton,addressingRaskolnikov。“Butthat'snotso!Herespectedme,herespectedmeverymuch!Hewasakind-heartedman!