首页 >出版文学> CRIME AND PUNISHMENT>第11章
  Lizaveta,thepedlar,soldmesomecollarsandcuffscheap,pretty,new,embroideredones。KaterinaIvanovnalikedthemverymuch;sheputthemonandlookedatherselfintheglassandwasdelightedwiththem。'Makemeapresentofthem,Sonia,'shesaid,'pleasedo。'
  'Pleasedo,'shesaid,shewantedthemsomuch。Andwhencouldshewearthem?Theyjustremindedherofheroldhappydays。Shelookedatherselfintheglass,admiredherself,andshehasnoclothesatall,nothingsofherown,hasn'thadalltheseyears!Andsheneverasksanyoneforanything;sheisproud,she'dsoonergiveawayeverything。Andthesesheaskedfor,shelikedthemsomuch。AndIwassorrytogivethem。'Whatusearetheytoyou,KaterinaIvanovna?'I
  said。Ispokelikethattoher,Ioughtnottohavesaidthat!Shegavemesuchalook。Andshewassogrieved,sogrievedatmyrefusingher。Anditwassosadtosee……Andshewasnotgrievedforthecollars,butformyrefusing,Isawthat。Ah,ifonlyIcouldbringitallback,changeit,takebackthosewords!Ah,ifI……butit'snothingtoyou!”
  “DidyouknowLizaveta,thepedlar?”
  “Yes……Didyouknowher?”Soniaaskedwithsomesurprise。
  “KaterinaIvanovnaisinconsumption,rapidconsumption;shewillsoondie,“saidRaskolnikovafterapause,withoutansweringherquestion。
  “Oh,no,no,no!”
  AndSoniaunconsciouslyclutchedbothhishands,asthoughimploringthatsheshouldnot。
  “Butitwillbebetterifshedoesdie。“
  “No,notbetter,notatallbetter!”Soniaunconsciouslyrepeatedindismay。
  “Andthechildren?Whatcanyoudoexcepttakethemtolivewithyou?”
  “Oh,Idon'tknow,“criedSonia,almostindespair,andsheputherhandstoherhead。
  Itwasevidentthatthatideahadveryoftenoccurredtoherbeforeandhehadonlyrouseditagain。
  “And,what,ifevennow,whileKaterinaIvanovnaisalive,yougetillandaretakentothehospital,whatwillhappenthen?”hepersistedpitilessly。
  “Howcanyou?Thatcannotbe!”
  AndSonia'sfaceworkedwithawfulterror。
  “Cannotbe?”Raskolnikovwentonwithaharshsmile。“Youarenotinsuredagainstit,areyou?Whatwillhappentothemthen?Theywillbeinthestreet,allofthem,shewillcoughandbegandknockherheadagainstsomewall,asshedidto-day,andthechildrenwillcry……Thenshewillfalldown,betakentothepolicestationandtothehospital,shewilldie,andthechildren……“
  “Oh,no……Godwillnotletitbe!”brokeatlastfromSonia'soverburdenedbosom。
  Shelistened,lookingimploringlyathim,claspingherhandsindumbentreaty,asthoughitalldependeduponhim。
  Raskolnikovgotupandbegantowalkabouttheroom。Aminutepassed。Soniawasstandingwithherhandsandherheadhanginginterribledejection。
  “Andcan'tyousave?Putbyforarainyday?”heasked,stoppingsuddenlybeforeher。
  “No,“whisperedSonia。
  “Ofcoursenot。Haveyoutried?”headdedalmostironically。
  “Yes。“
  “Anditdidn'tcomeoff!Ofcoursenot!Noneedtoask。“
  Andagainhepacedtheroom。Anotherminutepassed。
  “Youdon'tgetmoneyeveryday?”
  Soniawasmoreconfusedthaneverandcolourrushedintoherfaceagain。
  “No,“shewhisperedwithapainfuleffort。
  “ItwillbethesamewithPolenka,nodoubt,“hesaidsuddenly。
  “No,no!Itcan'tbe,no!”Soniacriedaloudindesperation,asthoughshehadbeenstabbed。“Godwouldnotallowanythingsoawful!”
  “Heletsotherscometoit。“
  “No,no!Godwillprotecther,God!”sherepeatedbesideherself。
  “But,perhaps,thereisnoGodatall,“Raskolnikovansweredwithasortofmalignance,laughedandlookedather。
  Sonia'sfacesuddenlychanged;atremorpassedoverit。Shelookedathimwithunutterablereproach,triedtosaysomething,butcouldnotspeakandbrokeintobitter,bittersobs,hidingherfaceinherhands。
  “YousayKaterinaIvanovna'smindisunhinged;yourownmindisunhinged,“hesaidafterabriefsilence。
  Fiveminutespassed。Hestillpacedupanddowntheroominsilence,notlookingather。Atlasthewentuptoher;hiseyesglittered。
  Heputhistwohandsonhershouldersandlookedstraightintohertearfulface。Hiseyeswerehard,feverishandpiercing,hislipsweretwitching。Allatoncehebentdownquicklyanddroppingtotheground,kissedherfoot。Soniadrewbackfromhimasfromamadman。
  Andcertainlyhelookedlikeamadman。
  “Whatareyoudoingtome?”shemuttered,turningpale,andasuddenanguishclutchedatherheart。
  Hestoodupatonce。
  “Ididnotbowdowntoyou,Iboweddowntoallthesufferingofhumanity,“hesaidwildlyandwalkedawaytothewindow。“Listen,“
  headded,turningtoheraminutelater。“Isaidjustnowtoaninsolentmanthathewasnotworthyourlittlefinger……andthatI
  didmysisterhonourmakinghersitbesideyou。“
  “Ach,yousaidthattothem!Andinherpresence?”criedSonia,frightened。“Sitdownwithme!Anhonour!Why,I'm……
  dishonourable……Ah,whydidyousaythat?”
  “ItwasnotbecauseofyourdishonourandyoursinIsaidthatofyou,butbecauseofyourgreatsuffering。Butyouareagreatsinner,that'strue,“headdedalmostsolemnly,“andyourworstsinisthatyouhavedestroyedandbetrayedyourselffornothing。Isn'tthatfearful?Isn'titfearfulthatyouarelivinginthisfilthwhichyouloatheso,andatthesametimeyouknowyourselfyou'veonlytoopenyoureyesthatyouarenothelpinganyonebyit,notsavinganyonefromanything!Tellme,“hewentonalmostinafrenzy,“howthisshameanddegradationcanexistinyousidebysidewithother,opposite,holyfeelings?Itwouldbebetter,athousandtimesbetterandwisertoleapintothewaterandenditall!”
  “Butwhatwouldbecomeofthem?”Soniaaskedfaintly,gazingathimwitheyesofanguish,butnotseemingsurprisedathissuggestion。
  Raskolnikovlookedstrangelyather。Hereaditallinherface;
  soshemusthavehadthatthoughtalready,perhapsmanytimes,andearnestlyshehadthoughtoutinherdespairhowtoenditandsoearnestly,thatnowshescarcelywonderedathissuggestion。Shehadnotevennoticedthecrueltyofhiswords。Thesignificanceofhisreproachesandhispeculiarattitudetohershameshehad,ofcourse,notnoticedeither,andthat,too,wascleartohim。Buthesawhowmonstrouslythethoughtofherdisgraceful,shamefulpositionwastorturingherandhadlongtorturedher。“What,what,“hethought,“couldhithertohavehinderedherfromputtinganendtoit?”
  Onlythenherealisedwhatthosepoorlittleorphanchildrenandthatpitifulhalf-crazyKaterinaIvanovna,knockingherheadagainstthewallinherconsumption,meantforSonia。
  But,nevertheless,itwascleartohimagainthatwithhercharacterandtheamountofeducationshehadafterallreceived,shecouldnotinanycaseremainso。Hewasstillconfrontedbythequestionhowcouldshehaveremainedsolonginthatpositionwithoutgoingoutofhermind,sinceshecouldnotbringherselftojumpintothewater?
  OfcourseheknewthatSonia'spositionwasanexceptionalcase,thoughunhappilynotuniqueandnotinfrequent,indeed;butthatveryexceptionalness,hertingeofeducation,herpreviouslifemight,onewouldhavethought,havekilledheratthefirststeponthatrevoltingpath。Whatheldherup-surelynotdepravity?Allthatinfamyhadobviouslyonlytouchedhermechanically,notonedropofrealdepravityhadpenetratedtoherheart;hesawthat。Hesawthroughherasshestoodbeforehim……
  “Therearethreewaysbeforeher,“hethought,“thecanal,themadhouse,or……atlasttosinkintodepravitywhichobscuresthemindandturnsthehearttostone。“
  Thelastideawasthemostrevolting,buthewasasceptic,hewasyoung,abstract,andthereforecruel,andsohecouldnothelpbelievingthatthelastendwasthemostlikely。
  “Butcanthatbetrue?”hecriedtohimself。“Canthatcreaturewhohasstillpreservedthepurityofherspiritbeconsciouslydrawnatlastintothatsinkoffilthandiniquity?Cantheprocessalreadyhavebegun?Canitbethatshehasonlybeenabletobearittillnow,becausevicehasbeguntobelessloathsometoher?No,no,thatcannotbe!”hecried,asSoniahadjustbefore。“No,whathaskeptherfromthecanaltillnowistheideaofsinandthey,thechildren……Andifshehasnotgoneoutofhermind……butwhosaysshehasnotgoneoutofhermind?Issheinhersenses?Canonetalk,canonereasonasshedoes?Howcanshesitontheedgeoftheabyssofloathsomenessintowhichsheisslippingandrefusetolistenwhensheistoldofdanger?Doessheexpectamiracle?Nodoubtshedoes。Doesn'tthatallmeanmadness?”
  Hestayedobstinatelyatthatthought。Helikedthatexplanationindeedbetterthananyother。Hebeganlookingmoreintentlyather。
  “SoyoupraytoGodagreatdeal,Sonia?”heaskedher。
  Soniadidnotspeak;hestoodbesideherwaitingforananswer。
  “WhatshouldIbewithoutGod?”shewhisperedrapidly,forcibly,glancingathimwithsuddenlyflashingeyes,andsqueezinghishand。
  “Ah,sothatisit!”hethought。
  “AndwhatdoesGoddoforyou?”heasked,probingherfurther。
  Soniawassilentalongwhile,asthoughshecouldnotanswer。Herweakchestkeptheavingwithemotion。
  “Besilent!Don'task!Youdon'tdeserve!”shecriedsuddenly,lookingsternlyandwrathfullyathim。
  “That'sit,that'sit,“herepeatedtohimself。
  “Hedoeseverything,“shewhisperedquickly,lookingdownagain。
  “That'sthewayout!That'stheexplanation,“hedecided,scrutinisingherwitheagercuriosity,withanew,strange,almostmorbidfeeling。Hegazedatthatpale,thin,irregular,angularlittleface,thosesoftblueeyes,whichcouldflashwithsuchfire,suchsternenergy,thatlittlebodystillshakingwithindignationandanger-anditallseemedtohimmoreandmorestrange,almostimpossible。“Sheisareligiousmaniac!”herepeatedtohimself。
  Therewasabooklyingonthechestofdrawers。Hehadnoticediteverytimehepacedupanddowntheroom。Nowhetookitupandlookedatit。ItwastheNewTestamentintheRussiantranslation。Itwasboundinleather,oldandworn。
  “Wheredidyougetthat?”hecalledtoheracrosstheroom。
  Shewasstillstandinginthesameplace,threestepsfromthetable。
  “Itwasbroughtme,“sheanswered,asitwereunwillingly,notlookingathim。
  “Whobroughtit?”
  “Lizaveta,Iaskedherforit。“
  “Lizaveta!strange!”hethought。
  EverythingaboutSoniaseemedtohimstrangerandmorewonderfuleverymoment。Hecarriedthebooktothecandleandbegantoturnoverthepages。
  “WhereisthestoryofLazarus?”heaskedsuddenly。
  Sonialookedobstinatelyatthegroundandwouldnotanswer。Shewasstandingsidewaystothetable。
  “WhereistheraisingofLazarus?Finditforme,Sonia。“
  Shestoleaglanceathim。
  “Youarenotlookingintherightplace……It'sinthefourthgospel,“shewhisperedsternly,withoutlookingathim。
  “Finditandreadittome,“hesaid。Hesatdownwithhiselbowonthetable,leanedhisheadonhishandandlookedawaysullenly,preparedtolisten。
  “Inthreeweeks'timethey'llwelcomemeinthemadhouse!IshallbethereifIamnotinaworseplace,“hemutteredtohimself。
  SoniaheardRaskolnikov'srequestdistrustfullyandmovedhesitatinglytothetable。Shetookthebookhowever。
  “Haven'tyoureadit?”sheasked,lookingupathimacrossthetable。
  Hervoicebecamesternerandsterner。
  “Longago……WhenIwasatschool。Read!”
  “Andhaven'tyouhearditinchurch?”
  “I……haven'tbeen。Doyouoftengo?”
  “N-no,“whisperedSonia。
  Raskolnikovsmiled。
  “Iunderstand……Andyouwon'tgotoyourfather'sfuneralto-morrow?”
  “Yes,Ishall。Iwasatchurchlastweek,too……Ihadarequiemservice。“
  “Forwhom?”
  “ForLizaveta。Shewaskilledwithanaxe。“
  Hisnervesweremoreandmorestrained。Hisheadbegantogoround。
  “WereyoufriendswithLizaveta?”
  “Yes……Shewasgood……sheusedtocome……notoften……shecouldn't……Weusedtoreadtogetherand……talk。ShewillseeGod。“
  Thelastphrasesoundedstrangeinhisears。Andherewassomethingnewagain:themysteriousmeetingswithLizavetaandbothofthem-religiousmaniacs。
  “Ishallbeareligiousmaniacmyselfsoon!It'sinfectious!”
  “Read!”hecriedirritablyandinsistently。
  Soniastillhesitated。Herheartwasthrobbing。Shehardlydaredtoreadtohim。Helookedalmostwithexasperationatthe“unhappylunatic。“
  “Whatfor?Youdon'tbelieve?……“shewhisperedsoftlyandasitwerebreathlessly。
  “Read!Iwantyouto,“hepersisted。“YouusedtoreadtoLizaveta。“
  Soniaopenedthebookandfoundtheplace。Herhandswereshaking,hervoicefailedher。Twiceshetriedtobeginandcouldnotbringoutthefirstsyllable。
  “NowacertainmanwassicknamedLazarusofBethany……“sheforcedherselfatlasttoread,butatthethirdwordhervoicebrokelikeanoverstrainedstring。Therewasacatchinherbreath。
  RaskolnikovsawinpartwhySoniacouldnotbringherselftoreadtohimandthemorehesawthis,themoreroughlyandirritablyheinsistedonherdoingso。Heunderstoodonlytoowellhowpainfulitwasforhertobetrayandunveilallthatwasherown。Heunderstoodthatthesefeelingsreallywerehersecrettreasure,whichshehadkeptperhapsforyears,perhapsfromchildhood,whileshelivedwithanunhappyfatherandadistractedstepmothercrazedbygrief,inthemidstofstarvingchildrenandunseemlyabuseandreproaches。
  Butatthesametimeheknewnowandknewforcertainthat,althoughitfilledherwithdreadandsuffering,yetshehadatormentingdesiretoreadandtoreadtohimthathemighthearit,andtoreadnowwhatevermightcomeofit!……Hereadthisinhereyes,hecouldseeitinherintenseemotion。Shemasteredherself,controlledthespasminherthroatandwentonreadingtheeleventhchapterofSt。
  John。Shewentontothenineteenthverse:
  “AndmanyoftheJewscametoMarthaandMarytocomfortthemconcerningtheirbrother。
  ThenMarthaassoonassheheardthatJesuswascomingwentandmetHim:butMarysatstillinthehouse。
  ThensaidMarthauntoJesus,Lord,ifThouhadstbeenhere,mybrotherhadnotdied。
  ButIknowthatevennowwhatsoeverThouwiltaskofGod,GodwillgiveitThee……“
  Thenshestoppedagainwithashamefacedfeelingthathervoicewouldquiverandbreakagain。
  “Jesussaiduntoher,thybrothershallriseagain。
  MarthasaithuntoHim,Iknowthatheshallriseagainintheresurrection,atthelastday。
  Jesussaiduntoher,Iamtheresurrectionandthelife:hethatbelievethinMethoughheweredead,yetshallhelive。
  AndwhosoeverlivethandbelievethinMeshallneverdie。
  Believestthouthis?
  ShesaithuntoHim,“
  Anddrawingapainfulbreath,Soniareaddistinctlyandforciblyasthoughsheweremakingapublicconfessionoffaith。
  “Yea,Lord:IbelievethatThouarttheChrist,theSonofGodWhichshouldcomeintotheworld。“
  Shestoppedandlookedupquicklyathim,butcontrollingherselfwentonreading。Raskolnikovsatwithoutmoving,hiselbowsonthetableandhiseyesturnedaway。Shereadtothethirty-secondverse。
  “ThenwhenMarywascomewhereJesuswasandsawHim,shefelldownatHisfeet,sayinguntoHim,LordifThouhadstbeenhere,mybrotherhadnotdied。
  WhenJesusthereforesawherweeping,andtheJewsalsoweepingwhichcamewithher,Hegroanedinthespiritandwastroubled,Andsaid,Wherehaveyelaidhim?TheysaiduntoHim,Lord,comeandsee。
  Jesuswept。
  ThensaidtheJews,beholdhowHelovedhim!
  Andsomeofthemsaid,couldnotthisManwhichopenedtheeyesoftheblind,havecausedthateventhismanshouldnothavedied?”
  Raskolnikovturnedandlookedatherwithemotion。Yes,hehadknownit!Shewastremblinginarealphysicalfever。Hehadexpectedit。
  Shewasgettingnearthestoryofthegreatestmiracleandafeelingofimmensetriumphcameoverher。Hervoicerangoutlikeabell;
  triumphandjoygaveitpower。Thelinesdancedbeforehereyes,butsheknewwhatshewasreadingbyheart。Atthelastverse“CouldnotthisManwhichopenedtheeyesoftheblind……“droppinghervoiceshepassionatelyreproducedthedoubt,thereproachandcensureoftheblinddisbelievingJews,whoinanothermomentwouldfallatHisfeetasthoughstruckbythunder,sobbingandbelieving……“Andhe,he-too,isblindedandunbelieving,he,too,willhear,he,too,willbelieve,yes,yes!Atonce,now,“waswhatshewasdreaming,andshewasquiveringwithhappyanticipation。
  “JesusthereforeagaingroaninginHimselfcomethtothegrave。Itwasacave,andastonelayuponit。
  Jesussaid,Takeyeawaythestone。Martha,thesisterofhimthatwasdead,saithuntoHim,Lordbythistimehestinketh:forhehathbeendeadfourdays。“
  Shelaidemphasisonthewordfour。
  “Jesussaithuntoher,SaidInotuntotheethatifthouwouldestbelieve,thoushouldestseethegloryofGod?
  Thentheytookawaythestonefromtheplacewherethedeadwaslaid。AndJesusliftedupHiseyesandsaid,Father,IthankTheethatThouhastheardMe。
  AndIknewthatThouhearestMealways;butbecauseofthepeoplewhichstandbyIsaidit,thattheymaybelievethatThouhastsentMe。
  AndwhenHethushadspoken,Hecriedwithaloudvoice,Lazarus,comeforth。
  Andhethatwasdeadcameforth。“
  Shereadloudly,coldandtremblingwithecstasy,asthoughshewereseeingitbeforehereyes。
  “Boundhandandfootwithgraveclothes;andhisfacewasboundaboutwithanapkin。Jesussaithuntothem,Loosehimandlethimgo。
  ThenmanyoftheJewswhichcametoMaryandhadseenthethingswhichJesusdidbelievedonHim。“
  Shecouldreadnomore,closedthebookandgotupfromherchairquickly。
  “ThatisallabouttheraisingofLazarus,“shewhisperedseverelyandabruptly,andturningawayshestoodmotionless,notdaringtoraisehereyestohim。Shestilltrembledfeverishly。Thecandle-endwasflickeringoutinthebatteredcandlestick,dimlylightingupinthepoverty-strickenroomthemurdererandtheharlotwhohadsostrangelybeenreadingtogethertheeternalbook。Fiveminutesormorepassed。
  “Icametospeakofsomething,“Raskolnikovsaidaloud,frowning。HegotupandwenttoSonia。Sheliftedhereyestohiminsilence。Hisfacewasparticularlysternandtherewasasortofsavagedeterminationinit。
  “Ihaveabandonedmyfamilyto-day,“hesaid,“mymotherandsister。
  Iamnotgoingtoseethem。I'vebrokenwiththemcompletely。“
  “Whatfor?”askedSoniaamazed。Herrecentmeetingwithhismotherandsisterhadleftagreatimpressionwhichshecouldnotanalyse。
  Sheheardhisnewsalmostwithhorror。
  “Ihaveonlyyounow,“headded。“Letusgotogether……I'vecometoyou,wearebothaccursed,letusgoourwaytogether!”
  Hiseyesglittered“asthoughheweremad,“Soniathought,inherturn。
  “Gowhere?”sheaskedinalarmandsheinvoluntarilysteppedback。
  “HowdoIknow?Ionlyknowit'sthesameroad,Iknowthatandnothingmore。It'sthesamegoal!”
  Shelookedathimandunderstoodnothing。Sheknewonlythathewasterribly,infinitelyunhappy。
  “Nooneofthemwillunderstand,ifyoutellthem,butIhaveunderstood。Ineedyou,thatiswhyIhavecometoyou。“
  “Idon'tunderstand,“whisperedSonia。
  “You'llunderstandlater。Haven'tyoudonethesame?You,too,havetransgressed……havehadthestrengthtotransgress。Youhavelaidhandsonyourself,youhavedestroyedalife……yourownit'sallthesame!。Youmighthavelivedinspiritandunderstanding,butyou'llendintheHayMarket……Butyouwon'tbeabletostandit,andifyouremainaloneyou'llgooutofyourmindlikeme。Youarelikeamadcreaturealready。Sowemustgotogetheronthesameroad!Letusgo!”
  “Whatfor?What'sallthisfor?”saidSonia,strangelyandviolentlyagitatedbyhiswords。
  “Whatfor?Becauseyoucan'tremainlikethis,that'swhy!Youmustlookthingsstraightinthefaceatlast,andnotweeplikeachildandcrythatGodwon'tallowit。Whatwillhappen,ifyoushouldreallybetakentothehospitalto-morrow?Sheismadandinconsumption,she'llsoondie,andthechildren?DoyoumeantotellmePolenkawon'tcometogrief?Haven'tyouseenchildrenhereatthestreetcornerssentoutbytheirmotherstobeg?I'vefoundoutwherethosemothersliveandinwhatsurroundings。Childrencan'tremainchildrenthere!Atseventhechildisviciousandathief。
  Yetchildren,youknow,aretheimageofChrist:'theirsisthekingdomofHeaven。'Hebadeushonourandlovethem,theyarethehumanityofthefuture……“
  “What'stobedone,what'stobedone?”repeatedSonia,weepinghystericallyandwringingherhands。
  “What'stobedone?Breakwhatmustbebroken,onceforall,that'sall,andtakethesufferingononeself。What,youdon'tunderstand?You'llunderstandlater……Freedomandpower,andaboveall,power!Overalltremblingcreationandalltheantheap!……That'sthegoal,rememberthat!That'smyfarewellmessage。Perhapsit'sthelasttimeIshallspeaktoyou。IfIdon'tcometo-morrow,you'llhearofitall,andthenrememberthesewords。Andsomedaylateron,inyearstocome,you'llunderstandperhapswhattheymeant。
  IfIcometo-morrow,I'lltellyouwhokilledLizaveta……Good-bye。“
  Soniastartedwithterror。
  “Why,doyouknowwhokilledher?”sheasked,chilledwithhorror,lookingwildlyathim。
  “Iknowandwilltell……you,onlyyou。Ihavechosenyouout。I'mnotcomingtoyoutoaskforgiveness,butsimplytotellyou。I
  choseyououtlongagotohearthis,whenyourfathertalkedofyouandwhenLizavetawasalive,Ithoughtofit。Good-bye,don'tshakehands。To-morrow!”
  Hewentout。Soniagazedathimasatamadman。Butsheherselfwaslikeoneinsaneandfeltit。Herheadwasgoinground。
  “Goodheavens,howdoesheknowwhokilledLizaveta?Whatdidthosewordsmean?It'sawful!”Butatthesametimetheideadidnotenterherhead,notforamoment!“Oh,hemustbeterriblyunhappy!……
  Hehasabandonedhismotherandsister……Whatfor?Whathashappened?Andwhathadheinhismind?Whatdidhesaytoher?Hehadkissedherfootandsaid……saidyes,hehadsaiditclearly
  thathecouldnotlivewithouther……Oh,mercifulheavens!”
  Soniaspentthewholenightfeverishanddelirious。Shejumpedupfromtimetotime,weptandwrungherhands,thensankagainintofeverishsleepanddreamtofPolenka,KaterinaIvanovnaandLizaveta,ofreadingthegospelandhim……himwithpaleface,withburningeyes……kissingherfeet,weeping。
  Ontheothersideofthedoorontheright,whichdividedSonia'sroomfromMadameResslich'sflat,wasaroomwhichlongstoodempty。A
  cardwasfixedonthegateandanoticestuckinthewindowsoverthecanaladvertisingittolet。Soniahadlongbeenaccustomedtotheroom'sbeinguninhabited。ButallthattimeMr。Svidrigailovhadbeenstanding,listeningatthedooroftheemptyroom。WhenRaskolnikovwentouthestoodstill,thoughtamoment,wentontiptoetohisownroomwhichadjoinedtheemptyone,broughtachairandnoiselesslycarriedittothedoorthatledtoSonia'sroom。Theconversationhadstruckhimasinterestingandremarkable,andhehadgreatlyenjoyedit-somuchsothathebroughtachairthathemightnotinthefuture,to-morrow,forinstance,havetoenduretheinconvenienceofstandingawholehour,butmightlistenincomfort。
  ChapterFiveWHENNEXTmorningateleveno'clockpunctuallyRaskolnikovwentintothedepartmentoftheinvestigationofcriminalcausesandsenthisnameintoPorfiryPetrovitch,hewassurprisedatbeingkeptwaitingsolong:itwasatleasttenminutesbeforehewassummoned。
  Hehadexpectedthattheywouldpounceuponhim。Buthestoodinthewaiting-room,andpeople,whoapparentlyhadnothingtodowithhim,werecontinuallypassingtoandfrobeforehim。Inthenextroomwhichlookedlikeanoffice,severalclerksweresittingwritingandobviouslytheyhadnonotionwhoorwhatRaskolnikovmightbe。Helookeduneasilyandsuspiciouslyabouthimtoseewhethertherewasnotsomeguard,somemysteriouswatchbeingkeptonhimtopreventhisescape。Buttherewasnothingofthesort:hesawonlythefacesofclerksabsorbedinpettydetails,thenotherpeople,nooneseemedtohaveanyconcernwithhim。Hemightgowherehelikedforthem。Theconvictiongrewstrongerinhimthatifthatenigmaticmanofyesterday,thatphantomsprungoutoftheearth,hadseeneverything,theywouldnothavelethimstandandwaitlikethat。
  Andwouldtheyhavewaitedtillheelectedtoappearateleven?Eitherthemanhadnotyetgiveninformation,or……orsimplyheknewnothing,hadseennothingandhowcouldhehaveseenanything?andsoallthathadhappenedtohimthedaybeforewasagainaphantomexaggeratedbyhissickandoverstrainedimagination。Thisconjecturehadbeguntogrowstrongthedaybefore,inthemidstofallhisalarmanddespair。Thinkingitallovernowandpreparingforafreshconflict,hewassuddenlyawarethathewastrembling-andhefeltarushofindignationatthethoughtthathewastremblingwithfearatfacingthathatefulPorfiryPetrovitch。Whathedreadedaboveallwasmeetingthatmanagain;hehatedhimwithanintense,unmitigatedhatredandwasafraidhishatredmightbetrayhim。Hisindignationwassuchthatheceasedtremblingatonce;hemadereadytogoinwithacoldandarrogantbearingandvowedtohimselftokeepassilentaspossible,towatchandlistenandforonceatleasttocontrolhisoverstrainednerves。AtthatmomenthewassummonedtoPorfiryPetrovitch。
  HefoundPorfiryPetrovitchaloneinhisstudy。Hisstudywasaroomneitherlargenorsmall,furnishedwithalargewriting-table,thatstoodbeforeasofa,upholsteredincheckedmaterial,abureau,abookcaseinthecornerandseveralchairs-allgovernmentfurniture,ofpolishedyellowwood。Inthefurtherwalltherewasacloseddoor,beyondittherewere,nodoubt,otherrooms。OnRaskolnikov'sentrancePorfiryPetrovitchhadatonceclosedthedoorbywhichhehadcomeinandtheyremainedalone。Hemethisvisitorwithanapparentlygenialandgood-temperedair,anditwasonlyafterafewminutesthatRaskolnikovsawsignsofacertainawkwardnessinhim,asthoughhehadbeenthrownoutofhisreckoningorcaughtinsomethingverysecret。
  “Ah,mydearfellow!Hereyouare……inourdomain“……beganPorfiry,holdingoutbothhandstohim。“Come,sitdown,oldman……orperhapsyoudon'tliketobecalled'mydearfellow'and'oldman!'-toutcourt?Pleasedon'tthinkittoofamiliar……Here,onthesofa。“
  Raskolnikovsatdown,keepinghiseyesfixedonhim。“Inourdomain,“theapologiesforfamiliarity,theFrenchphrasetoutcourt,wereallcharacteristicsigns。
  “Heheldoutbothhandstome,buthedidnotgivemeone-hedrewitbackintime,“struckhimsuspiciously。Bothwerewatchingeachother,butwhentheireyesmet,quickaslightningtheylookedaway。
  “Ibroughtyouthispaper……aboutthewatch。Hereitis。IsitallrightorshallIcopyitagain?”
  “What?Apaper?Yes,yes,don'tbeuneasy,it'sallright,“
  PorfiryPetrovitchsaidasthoughinhaste,andafterhehadsaidithetookthepaperandlookedatit。“Yes,it'sallright。Nothingmoreisneeded,“hedeclaredwiththesamerapidityandhelaidthepaperonthetable。
  Aminutelaterwhenhewastalkingofsomethingelsehetookitfromthetableandputitonhisbureau。
  “Ibelieveyousaidyesterdayyouwouldliketoquestionme……
  formally……aboutmyacquaintancewiththemurderedwoman?”
  Raskolnikovwasbeginningagain。“WhydidIputin'Ibelieve'“passedthroughhismindinaflash。“WhyamIsouneasyathavingputinthat'Ibelieve'?”cameinasecondflash。AndhesuddenlyfeltthathisuneasinessatthemerecontactwithPorfiry,atthefirstwords,atthefirstlooks,hadgrowninaninstanttomonstrousproportions,andthatthiswasfearfullydangerous。Hisnerveswerequivering,hisemotionwasincreasing。“It'sbad,it'sbad!Ishallsaytoomuchagain。“
  “Yes,yes,yes!There'snohurry,there'snohurry,“mutteredPorfiryPetrovitch,movingtoandfroaboutthetablewithoutanyapparentaim,asitweremakingdashestowardsthewindow,thebureauandthetable,atonemomentavoidingRaskolnikov'ssuspiciousglance,thenagainstandingstillandlookinghimstraightintheface。
  Hisfatroundlittlefigurelookedverystrange,likeaballrollingfromonesidetotheotherandreboundingback。
  “We'veplentyoftime。Doyousmoke?haveyouyourown?Here,acigarette!”hewenton,offeringhisvisitoracigarette。“YouknowIamreceivingyouhere,butmyownquartersarethroughthere,youknow,mygovernmentquarters。ButIamlivingoutsideforthetime,Ihadtohavesomerepairsdonehere。It'salmostfinishednow……
  Governmentquarters,youknow,areacapitalthing。Eh,whatdoyouthink?”
  “Yes,acapitalthing,“answeredRaskolnikov,lookingathimalmostironically。
  “Acapitalthing,acapitalthing,“repeatedPorfiryPetrovitch,asthoughhehadjustthoughtofsomethingquitedifferent。“Yes,acapitalthing,“healmostshoutedatlast,suddenlystaringatRaskolnikovandstoppingshorttwostepsfromhim。
  Thisstupidrepetitionwastooincongruousinitsineptitudewiththeserious,broodingandenigmaticglanceheturneduponhisvisitor。
  ButthisstirredRaskolnikov'sspleenmorethaneverandhecouldnotresistanironicalandratherincautiouschallenge。
  “Tellme,please,“heaskedsuddenly,lookingalmostinsolentlyathimandtakingakindofpleasureinhisowninsolence。“Ibelieveit'sasortoflegalrule,asortoflegaltradition-forallinvestigatinglawyers-tobegintheirattackfromafar,withatrivial,oratleastanirrelevantsubject,soastoencourage,orrather,todivertthemantheyarecross-examining,todisarmhiscautionandthenallatoncetogivehimanunexpectedknockdownblowwithsomefatalquestion。Isn'tthatso?It'sasacredtradition,mentioned,Ifancy,inallthemanualsoftheart?”
  “Yes,yes……Why,doyouimaginethatwaswhyIspokeaboutgovernmentquarters……eh?”
  AndashesaidthisPorfiryPetrovitchscreweduphiseyesandwinked;agood-humoured,craftylookpassedoverhisface。Thewrinklesonhisforeheadweresmoothedout,hiseyescontracted,hisfeaturesbroadenedandhesuddenlywentoffintoanervousprolongedlaugh,shakingalloverandlookingRaskolnikovstraightintheface。Thelatterforcedhimselftolaugh,too,butwhenPorfiry,seeingthathewaslaughing,brokeintosuchaguffawthatheturnedalmostcrimson,Raskolnikov'srepulsionovercameallprecaution;heleftofflaughing,scowledandstaredwithhatredatPorfiry,keepinghiseyesfixedonhimwhilehisintentionallyprolongedlaughterlasted。Therewaslackofprecautiononbothsides,however,forPorfiryPetrovitchseemedtobelaughinginhisvisitor'sfaceandtobeverylittledisturbedattheannoyancewithwhichthevisitorreceivedit。ThelatterfactwasverysignificantinRaskolnikov'seyes:hesawthatPorfiryPetrovitchhadnotbeenembarrassedjustbeforeeither,butthathe,Raskolnikov,hadperhapsfallenintoatrap;thattheremustbesomething,somemotivehereunknowntohim;that,perhaps,everythingwasinreadinessandinanothermomentwouldbreakuponhim……
  Hewentstraighttothepointatonce,rosefromhisseatandtookhiscap。
  “PorfiryPetrovitch,“hebeganresolutely,thoughwithconsiderableirritation,“yesterdayyouexpressedadesirethatI
  shouldcometoyouforsomeinquirieshelaidspecialstressontheword'inquiries'。Ihavecomeand,ifyouhaveanythingtoaskme,askit,andifnot,allowmetowithdraw。Ihavenotimetospare……Ihavetobeatthefuneralofthatmanwhowasrunover,ofwhomyou……knowalso,“headded,feelingangryatonceathavingmadethisadditionandmoreirritatedathisanger,“Iamsickofitall,doyouhear,andhavelongbeen。It'spartlywhatmademeill。Inshort,“heshouted,feelingthatthephraseabouthisillnesswasstillmoreoutofplace,“inshort,kindlyexaminemeorletmego,atonce。Andifyoumustexamineme,dosointheproperform!Iwillnotallowyoutodosootherwise,andsomeanwhile,good-bye,aswehaveevidentlynothingtokeepusnow。“
  “Goodheavens!Whatdoyoumean?WhatshallIquestionyouabout?”
  cackledPorfiryPetrovitchwithachangeoftone,instantlyleavingofflaughing。“Pleasedon'tdisturbyourself,“hebeganfidgetingfromplacetoplaceandfussilymakingRaskolnikovsitdown。“There'snohurry,there'snohurry,it'sallnonsense。Oh,no,I'mverygladyou'vecometoseemeatlast……Ilookuponyousimplyasavisitor。Andasformyconfoundedlaughter,pleaseexcuseit,RodionRomanovitch。RodionRomanovitch?Thatisyourname?……It'smynerves,youtickledmesowithyourwittyobservation;Iassureyou,sometimesIshakewithlaughterlikeanIndia-rubberballforhalfanhouratatime……I'moftenafraidofanattackofparalysis。Dositdown。
  Pleasedo,orIshallthinkyouareangry……“
  Raskolnikovdidnotspeak;helistened,watchinghim,stillfrowningangrily。Hedidsitdown,butstillheldhiscap。
  “Imusttellyouonethingaboutmyself,mydearRodionRomanovitch,“PorfiryPetrovitchcontinued,movingabouttheroomandagainavoidinghisvisitor'seyes。“Yousee,I'mabachelor,amanofnoconsequenceandnotusedtosociety;besides,Ihavenothingbeforeme,I'mset,I'mrunningtoseedand……andhaveyounoticed,RodionRomanovitch,thatinourPetersburgcircles,iftwoclevermenmeetwhoarenotintimate,butrespecteachother,likeyouandme,ittakesthemhalfanhourbeforetheycanfindasubjectforconversation-theyaredumb,theysitoppositeeachotherandfeelawkward。Everyonehassubjectsofconversation,ladiesforinstance……peopleinhighsocietyalwayshavetheirsubjectsofconversation,c'estderigueur,butpeopleofthemiddlesortlikeus,thinkingpeoplethatis,arealwaystongue-tiedandawkward。Whatisthereasonofit?Whetheritisthelackofpublicinterest,orwhetheritiswearesohonestwedon'twanttodeceiveoneanother,I
  don'tknow。Whatdoyouthink?Doputdownyourcap,itlooksasifyouwerejustgoing,itmakesmeuncomfortable……Iamsodelighted……“
  RaskolnikovputdownhiscapandcontinuedlisteninginsilencewithaseriousfrowningfacetothevagueandemptychatterofPorfiryPetrovitch。“Doeshereallywanttodistractmyattentionwithhissillybabble?”
  “Ican'tofferyoucoffeehere;butwhynotspendfiveminuteswithafriend,“Porfirypatteredon,“andyouknowalltheseofficialduties……pleasedon'tmindmyrunningupanddown,excuseit,mydearfellow,Iamverymuchafraidofoffendingyou,butexerciseisabsolutelyindispensableforme。I'malwayssittingandsogladtobemovingaboutforfiveminutes……Isufferfrommysedentarylife……Ialwaysintendtojoinagymnasium;theysaythatofficialsofallranks,evenPrivyCouncillorsmaybeseenskippinggailythere;
  thereyouhaveit,modernscience……yes,yes……Butasformydutieshere,inquiriesandallsuchformalities……youmentionedinquiriesyourselfjustnow……Iassureyoutheseinterrogationsaresometimesmoreembarrassingfortheinterrogatorthanfortheinterrogated……
  Youmadetheobservationyourselfjustnowveryaptlyandwittily。
  Raskolnikovhadmadenoobservationofthekind。Onegetsintoamuddle!Aregularmuddle!Onekeepsharpingonthesamenote,likeadrum!Thereistobeareformandweshallbecalledbyadifferentname,atleast,he-he-he!Andasforourlegaltradition,asyousowittilycalledit,Ithoroughlyagreewithyou。Everyprisonerontrial,eventherudestpeasantknows,thattheybeginbydisarminghimwithirrelevantquestionsasyousohappilyputitandthendealhimaknock-downblow,he-he-he!-yourfelicitouscompactsson,he-he!
  SoyoureallyimaginedthatImeantbygovernmentquarters……he-he!
  Youareanironicalperson。Come。Iwon'tgoon!Ah,bytheway,yes!Onewordleadstoanother。Youspokeofformalityjustnow,aproposoftheinquiry,youknow。Butwhat'stheuseofformality?
  Inmanycasesit'snonsense。Sometimesonehasafriendlychatandgetsagooddealmoreoutofit。Onecanalwaysfallbackonformality,allowmetoassureyou。Andafterall,whatdoesitamountto?Anexamininglawyercannotbeboundedbyformalityateverystep。Theworkofinvestigationis,sotospeak,afreeartinitsownway,he-he-he!”
  PorfiryPetrovitchtookbreathamoment。Hehadsimplybabbledonutteringemptyphrases,lettingslipafewenigmaticwordsandagainrevertingtoincoherence。Hewasalmostrunningabouttheroom,movinghisfatlittlelegsquickerandquicker,lookingattheground,withhisrighthandbehindhisback,whilewithhisleftmakinggesticulationsthatwereextraordinarilyincongruouswithhiswords。
  Raskolnikovsuddenlynoticedthatasheranabouttheroomheseemedtwicetostopforamomentnearthedoor,asthoughhewerelistening。
  “Isheexpectinganything?”
  “Youarecertainlyquiterightaboutit,“Porfirybegangaily,lookingwithextraordinarysimplicityatRaskolnikovwhichstartledhimandinstantlyputhimonhisguard,“certainlyquiterightinlaughingsowittilyatourlegalforms,he-he!Someoftheseelaboratepsychologicalmethodsareexceedinglyridiculousandperhapsuseless,ifoneadherestoocloselytotheforms。Yes……Iamtalkingofformsagain。Well,ifIrecognise,ormorestrictlyspeaking,ifIsuspectsomeoneorothertobeacriminalinanycaseentrustedtome……you'rereadingforthelaw,ofcourse,RodionRomanovitch?”
  “Yes,Iwas……“
  “Well,thenitisaprecedentforyouforthefuture-thoughdon'tsupposeIshouldventuretoinstructyouafterthearticlesyoupublishaboutcrime!No,Isimplymakeboldtostateitbywayoffact,ifItookthismanorthatforacriminal,why,Iask,shouldIworryhimprematurely,eventhoughIhadevidenceagainsthim?InonecaseImaybebound,forinstance,toarrestamanatonce,butanothermaybeinquiteadifferentposition,youknow,sowhyshouldn'tIlethimwalkaboutthetownabit,he-he-he!ButIseeyoudon'tquiteunderstand,soI'llgiveyouaclearerexample。IfIputhiminprisontoosoon,Imayverylikelygivehim,sotospeak,moralsupport,he-he!You'relaughing?”
  Raskolnikovhadnoideaoflaughing。Hewassittingwithcompressedlips,hisfeverisheyesfixedonPorfiryPetrovitch's。
  “Yesthatisthecase,withsometypesespecially,formenaresodifferent。Yousayevidence。Well,theremaybeevidence。Butevidence,youknow,cangenerallybetakentwoways。Iamanexamininglawyerandaweakman,Iconfessit。Ishouldliketomakeaproof,sotosay,mathematicallyclear,Ishouldliketomakeachainofevidencesuchastwicetwoarefour,itoughttobeadirect,irrefutableproof!AndifIshuthimuptoosoon-eventhoughI
  mightbeconvincedhewastheman,Ishouldverylikelybedeprivingmyselfofthemeansofgettingfurtherevidenceagainsthim。Andhow?Bygivinghim,sotospeak,adefiniteposition,Ishallputhimoutofsuspenseandsethismindatrest,sothathewillretreatintohisshell。TheysaythatatSevastopol,soonafterAlma,thecleverpeoplewereinaterriblefrightthattheenemywouldattackopenlyandtakeSevastopolatonce。Butwhentheysawthattheenemypreferredaregularsiege,theyweredelighted,Iamtoldandreassured,forthethingwoulddragonfortwomonthsatleast。
  You'relaughing,youdon'tbelievemeagain?Ofcourse,you'reright,too。You'reright,you'reright。Theseareanspecialcases,Iadmit。Butyoumustobservethis,mydearRodionRomanovitch,thegeneralcase,thecaseforwhichalllegalformsandrulesareintended,forwhichtheyarecalculatedandlaiddowninbooks,doesnotexistatall,forthereasonthateverycase,everycrimeforinstance,sosoonasitactuallyoccurs,atoncebecomesathoroughlyspecialcaseandsometimesacaseunlikeanythat'sgonebefore。Verycomiccasesofthatsortsometimesoccur。IfIleaveonemanquitealone,ifIdon'ttouchhimanddon'tworryhim,butlethimknoworatleastsuspecteverymomentthatIknowallaboutitandamwatchinghimdayandnight,andifheisincontinualsuspicionandterror,he'llbeboundtolosehishead。He'llcomeofhimself,ormaybedosomethingwhichwillmakeitasplainastwicetwoarefour-it'sdelightful。Itmaybesowithasimplepeasant,butwithoneofoursort,anintelligentmancultivatedonacertainside,it'sadeadcertainty。For,mydearfellow,it'saveryimportantmattertoknowonwhatsideamaniscultivated。Andthentherearenerves,therearenerves,youhaveoverlookedthem!Why,theyareallsick,nervousandirritable!……Andthenhowtheyallsufferfromspleen!
  ThatIassureyouisaregulargoldmineforus。Andit'snoanxietytome,hisrunningaboutthetownfree!Lethim,lethimwalkaboutforabit!IknowwellenoughthatI'vecaughthimandthathewon'tescapeme。Wherecouldheescapeto,he-he?Abroad,perhaps?APolewillescapeabroad,butnothere,especiallyasIamwatchingandhavetakenmeasures。Willheescapeintothedepthsofthecountryperhaps?
  Butyouknow,peasantslivethere,realrudeRussianpeasants。A
  moderncultivatedmanwouldpreferprisontolivingwithsuchstrangersasourpeasants。He-he!Butthat'sallnonsense,andonthesurface。It'snotmerelythathehasnowheretorunto,heispsychologicallyunabletoescapeme,he-he!Whatanexpression!
  Throughalawofnaturehecan'tescapemeifhehadanywheretogo。
  Haveyouseenabutterflyroundacandle?That'showhewillkeepcirclingandcirclingroundme。Freedomwillloseitsattractions。
  He'llbegintobrood,hellweaveatangleroundhimself,he'llworryhimselftodeath!What'smorehewillprovidemewithamathematicalproof-ifIonlygivehimlongenoughinterval……Andhe'llkeepcirclingroundme,gettingnearerandnearerandthen-flop!He'llflystraightintomymouthandI'llswallowhim,andthatwillbeveryamusing,he-he-he!Youdon'tbelieveme?”
  Raskolnikovmadenoreply;hesatpaleandmotionless,stillgazingwiththesameintensityintoPorfiry'sface。
  “It'salesson,“hethought,turningcold。“Thisisbeyondthecatplayingwithamouse,likeyesterday。Hecan'tbeshowingoffhispowerwithnomotive……promptingme;heisfartoocleverforthat……
  hemusthaveanotherobject。Whatisit?It'sallnonsense,myfriend,youarepretending,toscareme!You'venoproofsandthemanIsawhadnorealexistence。Yousimplywanttomakemelosemyhead,toworkmeupbeforehandandsotocrushme。Butyouarewrong,youwon'tdoit!Butwhygivemesuchahint?Ishereckoningonmyshatterednerves?No,myfriend,youarewrong,youwon'tdoiteventhoughyouhavesometrapforme……letusseewhatyouhaveinstoreforme。“
  Andhebracedhimselftofaceaterribleandunknownordeal。AttimeshelongedtofallonPorfiryandstranglehim。Thisangerwaswhathedreadedfromthebeginning。Hefeltthathisparchedlipswerefleckedwithfoam,hisheartwasthrobbing。Buthewasstilldeterminednottospeaktilltherightmoment。Herealisedthatthiswasthebestpolicyinhisposition,becauseinsteadofsayingtoomuchhewouldbeirritatinghisenemybyhissilenceandprovokinghimintospeakingtoofreely。Anyhow,thiswaswhathehopedfor。
  “No,Iseeyoudon'tbelieveme,youthinkIamplayingaharmlessjokeonyou,“Porfirybeganagain,gettingmoreandmorelively,chucklingateveryinstantandagainpacingroundtheroom。“And,tobesure,you'reright:Godhasgivenmeafigurethatcanawakennonebutcomicideasinotherpeople;abuffoon;butletmetellyouandIrepeatit,excuseanoldman,mydearRodionRomanovitch,youareamanstillyoung,sotosay,inyourfirstyouthandsoyouputintellectaboveeverything,likeallyoungpeople。Playfulwitandabstractargumentsfascinateyouandthat'sforalltheworldliketheoldAustrianHofkriegsrath,asfarasIcanjudgeofmilitarymattersthatis:onpaperthey'dbeatenNapoleonandtakenhimprisoner,andthereintheirstudytheyworkeditalloutinthecleverestfashion,butlookyou,GeneralMacksurrenderedwithallhisarmy,he-he-he!Isee,Isee,RodionRomanovitch,youarelaughingatacivilianlikeme,takingexamplesoutofmilitaryhistory!ButIcan'thelpit,it'smyweakness。Iamfondofmilitaryscience。
  AndI'meversofondofreadingallmilitaryhistories。I'vecertainlymissedmypropercareer。Ioughttohavebeeninthearmy,uponmywordIought。Ishouldn'thavebeenaNapoleon,butImighthavebeenamajor,he-he-he!Well,I'lltellyouthewholetruth,mydearfellow,aboutthisspecialcase,Imean:actualfactandaman'stemperament,mydearsir,areweightymattersandit'sastonishinghowtheysometimesdeceivethesharpestcalculation!I-listentoanoldman-amspeakingseriously,RodionRomanovitchashesaidthisPorfiryPetrovitchwhowasscarcelyfiveandthirtyactuallyseemedtohavegrownold;evenhisvoicechangedandheseemedtoshrinktogethermoreover,I'macandidman……amIacandidmanornot?Whatdoyousay?IfancyIreallyam:Itellyouthesethingsfornothinganddon'tevenexpectarewardforit,he-he!Well,toproceed,witinmyopinionisasplendidthing,itis,sotosay,anadornmentofnatureandaconsolationoflife,andwhattricksitcanplay!Sothatitsometimesishardforapoorexamininglawyertoknowwhereheis,especiallywhenhe'sliabletobecarriedawaybyhisownfancy,too,foryouknowheisamanafterall。Butthepoorfellowissavedbythecriminal'stemperament,worseluckforhim!Butyoungpeoplecarriedawaybytheirownwitdon'tthinkofthat'whentheyoverstepallobstacles'asyouwittilyandcleverlyexpressedityesterday。Hewilllie-thatis,themanwhoisaspecialcase,theincognito,andhewillliewell,inthecleverestfashion;youmightthinkhewouldtriumphandenjoythefruitsofhiswit,butatthemostinteresting,themostflagrantmomenthewillfaint。Ofcoursetheremaybeillnessandastuffyroomaswell,butanyway!Anywayhe'sgivenustheidea!Heliedincomparably,buthedidn'treckononhistemperament。That'swhatbetrayshim!Anothertimehewillbecarriedawaybyhisplayfulwitintomakingfunofthemanwhosuspectshim,hewillturnpaleasitwereonpurposetomislead,buthispalenesswillbetoonatural,toomuchliketherealthing,againhehasgivenusanidea!Thoughhisquestionermaybedeceivedatfirst,hewillthinkdifferentlynextdayifheisnotafool,and,ofcourse,itislikethatateverystep!Heputshimselfforwardwhereheisnotwanted,speakscontinuallywhenheoughttokeepsilent,bringsinallsortsofallegoricalallusions,he-he!Comesandaskswhydidn'tyoutakemelongago,he-he-he!Andthatcanhappen,youknow,withthecleverestman,thepsychologist,theliteraryman。Thetemperamentreflectseverythinglikeamirror!Gazeintoitandadmirewhatyousee!Butwhyareyousopale,RodionRomanovitch?Istheroomstuffy?ShallIopenthewindow?”
  “Oh,don'ttrouble,please,“criedRaskolnikovandhesuddenlybrokeintoalaugh。“Pleasedon'ttrouble。“
  Porfirystoodfacinghim,pausedamomentandsuddenlyhetoolaughed。Raskolnikovgotupfromthesofa,abruptlycheckinghishystericallaughter。
  “PorfiryPetrovitch,“hebegan,speakingloudlyanddistinctly,thoughhislegstrembledandhecouldscarcelystand。“IseeclearlyatlastthatyouactuallysuspectmeofmurderingthatoldwomanandhersisterLizaveta。LetmetellyouformypartthatIamsickofthis。Ifyoufindthatyouhavearighttoprosecutemelegally,toarrestme,thenprosecuteme,arrestme。ButIwillnotletmyselfbejeeredattomyfaceandworried……“
  Hislipstrembled,hiseyesglowedwithfuryandhecouldnotrestrainhisvoice。
  “Iwon'tallowit!”heshouted,bringinghisfistdownonthetable。
  “Doyouhearthat,PorfiryPetrovitch?Iwon'tallowit。“
  “Goodheavens!Whatdoesitmean?”criedPorfiryPetrovitch,apparentlyquitefrightened。“RodionRomanovitch,mydearfellow,whatisthematterwithyou?”
  “Iwon'tallowit,“Raskolnikovshoutedagain。
  “Hush,mydearman!They'llhearandcomein。Justthink,whatcouldwesaytothem?”PorfiryPetrovitchwhisperedinhorror,bringinghisfaceclosetoRaskolnikov's。
  “Iwon'tallowit,Iwon'tallowit,“Raskolnikovrepeatedmechanically,buthetoospokeinasuddenwhisper。
  Porfiryturnedquicklyandrantoopenthewindow。
  “Somefreshair!Andyoumusthavesomewater,mydearfellow。
  You'reill!”andhewasrunningtothedoortocallforsomewhenhefoundadecanterofwaterinthecorner。“Come,drinkalittle,“hewhispered,rushinguptohimwiththedecanter。“Itwillbesuretodoyougood。“
  PorfiryPetrovitch'salarmandsympathyweresonaturalthatRaskolnikovwassilentandbeganlookingathimwithwildcuriosity。
  Hedidnottakethewater,however。
  “RodionRomanovitch,mydearfellow,you'lldriveyourselfoutofyourmind,Iassureyou,ach,ach!Havesomewater,dodrinkalittle。“
  Heforcedhimtotaketheglass。Raskolnikovraiseditmechanicallytohislips,butsetitonthetableagainwithdisgust。
  “Yes,you'vehadalittleattack!You'llbringbackyourillnessagain,mydearfellow,“PorfiryPetrovitchcackledwithfriendlysympathy,thoughhestilllookedratherdisconcerted。“Goodheavens,youmusttakemorecareofyourself!DmitriProkofitchwashere,cametoseemeyesterday-Iknow,Iknow,I'veanasty,ironicaltemper,butwhattheymadeofit!……Goodheavens,hecameyesterdayafteryou'dbeen。Wedinedandhetalkedandtalkedaway,andI
  couldonlythrowupmyhandsindespair!Didhecomefromyou?Butdositdown,formercy'ssake,sitdown!”
  “No,notfromme,butIknewhewenttoyouandwhyhewent,“
  Raskolnikovansweredsharply。
  “Youknew?”
  “Iknew。Whatofit?”
  “Whythis,RodionRomanovitch,thatIknowmorethanthataboutyou;
  Iknowabouteverything。Iknowhowyouwenttotakeaflatatnightwhenitwasdarkandhowyourangthebellandaskedabouttheblood,sothattheworkmenandtheporterdidnotknowwhattomakeofit。Yes,Iunderstandyourstateofmindatthattime……butyou'lldriveyourselfmadlikethat,uponmyword!You'llloseyourhead!
  You'refullofgenerousindignationatthewrongsyou'vereceived,firstfromdestiny,andthenfromthepoliceofficers,andsoyourushfromonethingtoanothertoforcethemtospeakoutandmakeanendofitall,becauseyouaresickofallthissuspicionandfoolishness。
  That'sso,isn'tit?Ihaveguessedhowyoufeel,haven'tI?Onlyinthatwayyou'llloseyourheadandRazumihin's,too;he'stoogoodamanforsuchaposition,youmustknowthat。Youareillandheisgoodandyourillnessisinfectiousforhim……I'lltellyouaboutitwhenyouaremoreyourself……Butdositdown,forgoodness'sake。
  Pleaserest,youlookshocking,dositdown。“
  Raskolnikovsatdown;henolongershivered,hewashotallover。InamazementhelistenedwithstrainedattentiontoPorfiryPetrovitchwhostillseemedfrightenedashelookedafterhimwithfriendlysolicitude。Buthedidnotbelieveawordhesaid,thoughhefeltastrangeinclinationtobelieve。Porfiry'sunexpectedwordsabouttheflathadutterlyoverwhelmedhim。“Howcanitbe,heknowsabouttheflatthen,“hethoughtsuddenly,“andhetellsitmehimself!”
  “Yes,inourlegalpracticetherewasacasealmostexactlysimilar,acaseofmorbidpsychology,“Porfirywentonquickly。“Amanconfessedtomurderandhowhekeptitup!Itwasaregularhallucination;hebroughtforwardfacts,heimposeduponeveryoneandwhy?Hehadbeenpartly,butonlypartly,unintentionallythecauseofamurderandwhenheknewthathehadgiventhemurdererstheopportunity,hesankintodejection,itgotonhismindandturnedhisbrain,hebeganimaginingthingsandhepersuadedhimselfthathewasthemurderer。ButatlasttheHighCourtofAppealswentintoitandthepoorfellowwasacquittedandputunderpropercare。ThankstotheCourtofAppeals!Tut-tut-tut!Why,mydearfellow,youmaydriveyourselfintodeliriumifyouhavetheimpulsetoworkuponyournerves,togoringingbellsatnightandaskingaboutblood!I'vestudiedallthismorbidpsychologyinmypractice。Amanissometimestemptedtojumpoutofawindoworfromabelfry。Justthesamewithbell-ringing……It'sallillness,RodionRomanovitch!Youhavebeguntoneglectyourillness。Youshouldconsultanexperienceddoctor,what'sthegoodofthatfatfellow?Youarelightheaded!Youweredeliriouswhenyoudidallthis!”
  ForamomentRaskolnikovfelteverythinggoinground。
  “Isitpossible,isitpossible,“flashedthroughhismind,“thatheisstilllying?Hecan'tbe,hecan'tbe。“Herejectedthatidea,feelingtowhatadegreeoffuryitmightdrivehim,feelingthatthatfurymightdrivehimmad。
  “Iwasnotdelirious。IknewwhatIwasdoing,“hecried,strainingeveryfacultytopenetratePorfiry'sgame,“Iwasquitemyself,doyouhear?”
  “Yes,Ihearandunderstand。Yousaidyesterdayyouwerenotdelirious,youwereparticularlyemphaticaboutit!Iunderstandallyoucantellme!A-ach!……Listen,RodionRomanovitch,mydearfellow。
  Ifyouwereactuallyacriminal,orweresomehowmixedupinthisdamnablebusiness,wouldyouinsistthatyouwerenotdeliriousbutinfullpossessionofyourfaculties?Andsoemphaticallyandpersistently?Woulditbepossible?Quiteimpossible,tomythinking。Ifyouhadanythingonyourconscience,youcertainlyoughttoinsistthatyouweredelirious。That'sso,isn'tit?”
  Therewasanoteofslynessinthisinquiry。RaskolnikovdrewbackonthesofaasPorfirybentoverhimandstaredinsilentperplexityathim。
  “AnotherthingaboutRazumihin-youcertainlyoughttohavesaidthathecameofhisownaccord,tohaveconcealedyourpartinit!Butyoudon'tconcealit!Youlaystressonhiscomingatyourinstigation。“
  Raskolnikovhadnotdoneso。Achillwentdownhisback。
  “Youkeeptellinglies,“hesaidslowlyandweakly,twistinghislipsintoasicklysmile,“youaretryingagaintoshowthatyouknowallmygame,thatyouknowallIshallsaybeforehand,“hesaid,conscioushimselfthathewasnotweighinghiswordsasheought。“Youwanttofrightenme……oryouaresimplylaughingatme……“
  Hestillstaredathimashesaidthisandagaintherewasalightofintensehatredinhiseyes。
  “Youkeeplying,“hesaid。“Youknowperfectlywellthatthebestpolicyforthecriminalistotellthetruthasnearlyaspossible……toconcealaslittleaspossible。Idon'tbelieveyou!”
  “Whatawilypersonyouare!”Porfirytittered,“there'snocatchingyou;you'veaperfectmonomania。Soyoudon'tbelieveme?Butstillyoudobelieveme,youbelieveaquarter;I'llsoonmakeyoubelievethewhole,becauseIhaveasincerelikingforyouandgenuinelywishyougood。“
  Raskolnikov'slipstrembled。
  “Yes,Ido,“wentonPorfiry,touchingRaskolnikov'sarmgenially,“youmusttakecareofyourillness。Besides,yourmotherandsisterareherenow;youmustthinkofthem。Youmustsootheandcomfortthemandyoudonothingbutfrightenthem……“
  “Whathasthattodowithyou?Howdoyouknowit?Whatconcernisitofyours?Youarekeepingwatchonmeandwanttoletmeknowit?”
  “Goodheavens!Why,Ilearntitallfromyouyourself!Youdon'tnoticethatinyourexcitementyoutellmeandotherseverything。FromRazumihin,too,Ilearntanumberofinterestingdetailsyesterday。
  No,youinterruptedme,butImusttellyouthat,forallyourwit,yoursuspiciousnessmakesyoulosethecommon-senseviewofthings。Toreturntobell-ringing,forinstance。I,anexamininglawyer,havebetrayedapreciousthinglikethat,arealfactforitisafactworthhaving,andyouseenothinginit!Why,ifIhadtheslightestsuspicionofyou,shouldIhaveactedlikethat?No,I
  shouldfirsthavedisarmedyoursuspicionsandnotletyouseeI
  knewofthatfact,shouldhavedivertedyourattentionandsuddenlyhavedealtyouaknock-downblowyourexpressionsaying:'Andwhatwereyoudoing,sir,pray,attenornearlyelevenatthemurderedwoman'sflatandwhydidyouringthebellandwhydidyouaskaboutblood?Andwhydidyouinvitetheporterstogowithyoutothepolicestation,tothelieutenant?'That'showIoughttohaveactedifIhadagrainofsuspicionofyou。Ioughttohavetakenyourevidenceindueform,searchedyourlodgingandperhapshavearrestedyou,too……soIhavenosuspicionofyou,sinceIhavenotdonethat!
  Butyoucan'tlookatitnormallyandyouseenothing,Isayagain。“
  RaskolnikovstartedsothatPorfiryPetrovitchcouldnotfailtoperceiveit。
  “Youarelyingallthewhile,“hecried,“Idon'tknowyourobject,butyouarelying。YoudidnotspeaklikethatjustnowandIcannotbemistaken!”
  “Iamlying?”Porfiryrepeated,apparentlyincensed,butpreservingagood-humouredandironicalface,asthoughhewerenotintheleastconcernedatRaskolnikov'sopinionofhim。“Iamlying……
  buthowdidItreatyoujustnow,I,theexamininglawyer?Promptingyouandgivingyoueverymeansforyourdefence;illness,Isaid,delirium,injury,melancholyandthepoliceofficersandalltherestofit?Ah!He-he-he!Though,indeed,allthosepsychologicalmeansofdefencearenotveryreliableandcutbothways:illness,delirium,Idon'tremember-that'sallright,butwhy,mygoodsir,inyourillnessandinyourdeliriumwereyouhauntedbyjustthosedelusionsandnotbyanyothers?Theremayhavebeenothers,eh?
  He-he-he!”
  Raskolnikovlookedhaughtilyandcontemptuouslyathim。
  “Briefly,“hesaidloudlyandimperiously,risingtohisfeetandinsodoingpushingPorfirybackalittle,“briefly,Iwanttoknow,doyouacknowledgemeperfectlyfreefromsuspicionornot?Tellme,PorfiryPetrovitch,tellmeonceforallandmakehaste!”
  “WhatabusinessI'mhavingwithyou!”criedPorfirywithaperfectlygood-humoured,slyandcomposedface。“Andwhydoyouwanttoknow,whydoyouwanttoknowsomuch,sincetheyhaven'tbeguntoworryyou?Why,youarelikeachildaskingformatches!Andwhyareyousouneasy?Whydoyouforceyourselfuponus,eh?He-he-he!”
  “Irepeat,“Raskolnikovcriedfuriously,“thatIcan'tputupwithit!”
  “Withwhat?Uncertainty?”interruptedPorfiry。
  “Don'tjeeratme!Iwon'thaveit!ItellyouIwon'thaveit。I
  can'tandIwon't,doyouhear,doyouhear?”heshouted,bringinghisfistdownonthetableagain。
  “Hush!Hush!They'lloverhear!Iwarnyouseriously,takecareofyourself。Iamnotjoking,“Porfirywhispered,butthistimetherewasnotthelookofoldwomanishgood-natureandalarminhisface。Nowhewasperemptory,stern,frowningandforoncelayingasideallmystification。
  Butthiswasonlyforaninstant。Raskolnikov,bewildered,suddenlyfellintoactualfrenzy,but,strangetosay,heagainobeyedthecommandtospeakquietly,thoughhewasinaperfectparoxysmoffury。
  “Iwillnotallowmyselftobetortured,“hewhispered,instantlyrecognisingwithhatredthathecouldnothelpobeyingthecommandanddriventoevengreaterfurybythethought。“Arrestme,searchme,butkindlyactindueformanddon'tplaywithme!Don'tdare!”
  “Don'tworryabouttheform,“Porfiryinterruptedwiththesameslysmile,asitwere,gloatingwithenjoymentoverRaskolnikov。“I
  invitedyoutoseemequiteinafriendlyway。“
  “Idon'twantyourfriendshipandIspitonit!Doyouhear?And,here,Itakemycapandgo。Whatwillyousaynowifyoumeantoarrestme?”
  Hetookuphiscapandwenttothedoor。
  “Andwon'tyouseemylittlesurprise?”chuckledPorfiry,againtakinghimbythearmandstoppinghimatthedoor。
  Heseemedtobecomemoreplayfulandgood-humouredwhichmaddenedRaskolnikov。
  “Whatsurprise?”heasked,standingstillandlookingatPorfiryinalarm。
  “Mylittlesurprise,it'ssittingtherebehindthedoor,he-he-he!
  Hepointedtothelockeddoor。Ilockedhiminthatheshouldnotescape。“
  “Whatisit?Where?What?……“
  Raskolnikovwalkedtothedoorandwouldhaveopenedit,butitwaslocked。
  “It'slocked,hereisthekey!”
  Andhebroughtakeyoutofhispocket。
  “Youarelying,“roaredRaskolnikovwithoutrestraint,“youlie,youdamnedpunchinello!”andherushedatPorfirywhoretreatedtotheotherdoor,notatallalarmed。
  “Iunderstanditall!YouarelyingandmockingsothatImaybetraymyselftoyou……“
  “Why,youcouldnotbetrayyourselfanyfurther,mydearRodionRomanovitch。Youareinapassion。Don'tshout,Ishallcalltheclerks。“
  “Youarelying!Calltheclerks!YouknewIwasillandtriedtoworkmeintoafrenzytomakemebetraymyself,thatwasyourobject!Produceyourfacts!Iunderstanditall。You'venoevidence,youhaveonlywretchedrubbishlysuspicionslikeZametov's!Youknewmycharacter,youwantedtodrivemetofuryandthentoknockmedownwithpriestsanddeputies……Areyouwaitingforthem?eh!Whatareyouwaitingfor?Wherearethey?Producethem?”
  “Whydeputies,mygoodman?Whatthingspeoplewillimagine!Andtodosowouldnotbeactinginformasyousay,youdon'tknowthebusiness,mydearfellow……Andthere'snoescapingform,asyousee,“Porfirymuttered,listeningatthedoorthroughwhichanoisecouldbeheard。
  “Ah,they'recoming,“criedRaskolnikov。“You'vesentforthem!
  Youexpectedthem!Well,producethemall:yourdeputies,yourwitnesses,whatyoulike!……Iamready!”
  Butatthismomentastrangeincidentoccurred,somethingsounexpectedthatneitherRaskolnikovnorPorfiryPetrovitchcouldhavelookedforsuchaconclusiontotheirinterview。
  ChapterSixWHENHErememberedthesceneafterwards,thisishowRaskolnikovsawit。
  Thenoisebehindthedoorincreased,andsuddenlythedoorwasopenedalittle。
  “Whatisit?”criedPorfiryPetrovitch,annoyed。“Why,Igaveorders……“
  Foraninstanttherewasnoanswer,butitwasevidentthattherewereseveralpersonsatthedoor,andthattheywereapparentlypushingsomebodyback。
  “Whatisit?”PorfiryPetrovitchrepeated,uneasily。
  “TheprisonerNikolayhasbeenbrought,“someoneanswered。
  “Heisnotwanted!Takehimaway!Lethimwait!What'shedoinghere?Howirregular!”criedPorfiry,rushingtothedoor。
  “Buthe……“beganthesamevoice,andsuddenlyceased。