Itfellfromagreatheight,butitlookedquitelow,anditwashalfamileaway,thoughitdidnotseemfiftypaces。Ilovedtolistentoitatnight,butitwasthenthatIbecamesorestless。
SometimesIwentandclimbedthemountainandstoodthereinthemidstofthetallpines,allaloneintheterriblesilence,withourlittlevillageinthedistance,andtheskysoblue,andthesunsobright,andanoldruinedcastleonthemountain-side,faraway。Iusedtowatchthelinewhereearthandskymet,andlongedtogoandseektherethekeyofallmysteries,thinkingthatImightfindthereanewlife,perhapssomegreatcitywherelifeshouldbegranderandricher——andthenitstruckmethatlifemaybegrandenougheveninaprison。"
"Ireadthatlastmostpraiseworthythoughtinmymanual,whenI
wastwelveyearsold,"saidAglaya。
"Allthisispurephilosophy,"saidAdelaida。"Youareaphilosopher,prince,andhavecomeheretoinstructusinyourviews。"
"Perhapsyouareright,"saidtheprince,smiling。"IthinkIamaphilosopher,perhaps,andwhoknows,perhapsIdowishtoteachmyviewsofthingstothoseImeetwith?"
"Yourphilosophyisratherlikethatofanoldwomanweknow,whoisrichandyetdoesnothingbuttryhowlittleshecanspend。
Shetalksofnothingbutmoneyallday。YourgreatphilosophicalideaofagrandlifeinaprisonandyourfourhappyyearsinthatSwissvillagearelikethis,rather,"saidAglaya。
"Astolifeinaprison,ofcoursetheremaybetwoopinions,"
saidtheprince。"Ionceheardthestoryofamanwholivedtwelveyearsinaprison——Ihearditfromthemanhimself。Hewasoneofthepersonsundertreatmentwithmyprofessor;hehadfits,andattacksofmelancholy,thenhewouldweep,andoncehetriedtocommitsuicide。HISlifeinprisonwassadenough;hisonlyacquaintanceswerespidersandatreethatgrewoutsidehisgrating-butIthinkIhadbettertellyouofanothermanImetlastyear。Therewasaverystrangefeatureinthiscase,strangebecauseofitsextremelyrareoccurrence。Thismanhadoncebeenbroughttothescaffoldincompanywithseveralothers,andhadhadthesentenceofdeathbyshootingpasseduponhimforsomepoliticalcrime。Twentyminuteslaterhehadbeenreprievedandsomeotherpunishmentsubstituted;buttheintervalbetweenthetwosentences,twentyminutes,oratleastaquarterofanhour,hadbeenpassedinthecertaintythatwithinafewminuteshemustdie。Iwasveryanxioustohearhimspeakofhisimpressionsduringthatdreadfultime,andIseveraltimesinquiredofhimastowhathethoughtandfelt。Herememberedeverythingwiththemostaccurateandextraordinarydistinctness,anddeclaredthathewouldneverforgetasingleiotaoftheexperience。
"Abouttwentypacesfromthescaffold,wherehehadstoodtohearthesentence,werethreeposts,fixedintheground,towhichtofastenthecriminalsofwhomtherewereseveral。Thefirstthreecriminalsweretakentotheposts,dressedinlongwhitetunics,withwhitecapsdrawnovertheirfaces,sothattheycouldnotseetheriflespointedatthem。Thenagroupofsoldierstooktheirstandoppositetoeachpost。Myfriendwastheeighthonthelist,andthereforehewouldhavebeenamongthethirdlottogoup。Apriestwentaboutamongthemwithacross:andtherewasaboutfiveminutesoftimeleftforhimtolive。
"Hesaidthatthosefiveminutesseemedtohimtobeamostinterminableperiod,anenormouswealthoftime;heseemedtobeliving,intheseminutes,somanylivesthattherewasnoneedasyettothinkofthatlastmoment,sothathemadeseveralarrangements,dividingupthetimeintoportions——oneforsayingfarewelltohiscompanions,twominutesforthat;thenacouplemoreforthinkingoverhisownlifeandcareerandallabouthimself;andanotherminuteforalastlookaround。Herememberedhavingdividedhistimelikethisquitewell。Whilesayinggood-
byetohisfriendsherecollectedaskingoneofthemsomeveryusualeverydayquestion,andbeingmuchinterestedintheanswer。
Thenhavingbadefarewell,heembarkeduponthosetwominuteswhichhehadallottedtolookingintohimself;heknewbeforehandwhathewasgoingtothinkabout。Hewishedtoputittohimselfasquicklyandclearlyaspossible,thatherewashe,aliving,thinkingman,andthatinthreeminuteshewouldbenobody;orifsomebodyorsomething,thenwhatandwhere?Hethoughthewoulddecidethisquestiononceforallintheselastthreeminutes。Alittlewayofftherestoodachurch,anditsgildedspireglitteredinthesun。Herememberedstaringstubbornlyatthisspire,andattheraysoflightsparklingfromit。Hecouldnottearhiseyesfromtheseraysoflight;hegottheideathattheserayswerehisnewnature,andthatinthreeminuteshewouldbecomeoneofthem,amalgamatedsomehowwiththem。
"Therepugnancetowhatmustensuealmostimmediately,andtheuncertainty,weredreadful,hesaid;butworstofallwastheidea,’WhatshouldIdoifIwerenottodienow?WhatifIweretoreturntolifeagain?Whataneternityofdays,andallmine!
HowIshouldgrudgeandcountupeveryminuteofit,soastowastenotasingleinstant!’Hesaidthatthisthoughtweighedsouponhimandbecamesuchaterribleburdenuponhisbrainthathecouldnotbearit,andwishedtheywouldshoothimquicklyandhavedonewithit。"
Theprincepausedandallwaited,expectinghimtogoonagainandfinishthestory。
"Isthatall?"askedAglaya。
"All?Yes,"saidtheprince,emergingfromamomentaryreverie。
"Andwhydidyoutellusthis?"
"Oh,Ihappenedtorecallit,that’sall!Itfittedintotheconversation——"
"Youprobablywishtodeduce,prince,"saidAlexandra,"thatmomentsoftimecannotbereckonedbymoneyvalue,andthatsometimesfiveminutesareworthpricelesstreasures。Allthisisverypraiseworthy;butmayIaskaboutthisfriendofyours,whotoldyoutheterribleexperienceofhislife?Hewasreprieved,yousay;inotherwords,theydidrestoretohimthat’eternityofdays。’Whatdidhedowiththeserichesoftime?Didhekeepcarefulaccountofhisminutes?"
"Ohno,hedidn’t!Iaskedhimmyself。Hesaidthathehadnotlivedabitashehadintended,andhadwastedmany,andmanyaminute。"
"Verywell,thenthere’sanexperiment,andthethingisproved;
onecannotliveandcounteachmoment;saywhatyoulike,butoneCANNOT。"
"Thatistrue,"saidtheprince,"Ihavethoughtsomyself。Andyet,whyshouldn’tonedoit?"
"Youthink,then,thatyoucouldlivemorewiselythanotherpeople?"saidAglaya。
"Ihavehadthatidea。"
"Andyouhaveitstill?"
"Yes——Ihaveitstill,"theprincereplied。
HehadcontemplatedAglayauntilnow,withapleasantthoughrathertimidsmile,butasthelastwordsfellfromhislipshebegantolaugh,andlookedathermerrily。
"Youarenotverymodest!"saidshe。
"Buthowbraveyouare!"saidhe。"Youarelaughing,andI——
thatman’staleimpressedmesomuch,thatIdreamtofitafterwards;yes,Idreamtofthosefiveminutes……"
Helookedathislistenersagainwiththatsameserious,searchingexpression。
"Youarenotangrywithme?"heaskedsuddenly,andwithakindofnervoushurry,althoughhelookedthemstraightintheface。
"Whyshouldwebeangry?"theycried。
"OnlybecauseIseemtobegivingyoualecture,allthetime!"
Atthistheylaughedheartily。
"Pleasedon’tbeangrywithme,"continuedtheprince。"IknowverywellthatIhaveseenlessoflifethanotherpeople,andhavelessknowledgeofit。Imustappeartospeakstrangelysometimes……"
Hesaidthelastwordsnervously。
"Yousayyouhavebeenhappy,andthatprovesyouhavelived,notless,butmorethanotherpeople。Whymakealltheseexcuses?"
interruptedAglayainamockingtoneofvoice。"Besides,youneednotmindaboutlecturingus;youhavenothingtoboastof。Withyourquietism,onecouldlivehappilyforahundredyearsatleast。Onemightshowyoutheexecutionofafelon,orshowyouone’slittlefinger。Youcoulddrawamoralfromeither,andbequitesatisfied。Thatsortofexistenceiseasyenough。"
"Ican’tunderstandwhyyoualwaysflyintoatemper,"saidMrs。
Epanchin,whohadbeenlisteningtotheconversationandexaminingthefacesofthespeakersinturn。"Idonotunderstandwhatyoumean。Whathasyourlittlefingertodowithit?Theprincetalkswell,thoughheisnotamusing。Hebeganallright,butnowheseemssad。"
"Nevermind,mamma!Prince,Iwishyouhadseenanexecution,"
saidAglaya。"Ishouldliketoaskyouaquestionaboutthat,ifyouhad。"
"Ihaveseenanexecution,"saidtheprince。
"Youhave!"criedAglaya。"Imighthaveguessedit。That’safittingcrowntotherestofthestory。Ifyouhaveseenanexecution,howcanyousayyoulivedhappilyallthewhile?"
"Butistherecapitalpunishmentwhereyouwere?"askedAdelaida。
"IsawitatLyons。Schneidertookusthere,andassoonaswearrivedwecameinforthat。"
"Well,anddidyoulikeitverymuch?Wasitveryedifyingandinstructive?"askedAglaya。
"No,Ididn’tlikeitatall,andwasillafterseeingit;butI
confessIstaredasthoughmyeyeswerefixedtothesight。I
couldnottearthemaway。"
"I,too,shouldhavebeenunabletotearmyeyesaway,"saidAglaya。
"Theydonotatallapproveofwomengoingtoseeanexecutionthere。Thewomenwhodogoarecondemnedforitafterwardsinthenewspapers。"
"Thatis,bycontendingthatitisnotasightforwomentheyadmitthatitisasightformen。Icongratulatethemonthededuction。Isupposeyouquiteagreewiththem,prince?"
"Tellusabouttheexecution,"putinAdelaida。
"Iwouldmuchrathernot,justnow,"saidtheprince,alittledisturbedandfrowningslightly;
"Youdon’tseemtowanttotellus,"saidAglaya,withamockingair。
"No,——thethingis,Iwastellingallabouttheexecutionalittlewhileago,and——"
"Whomdidyoutellaboutit?"
"Theman-servant,whileIwaswaitingtoseethegeneral。"
"Ourman-servant?"exclaimedseveralvoicesatonce。
"Yes,theonewhowaitsintheentrancehall,agreyish,red-
facedman——"
"Theprinceisclearlyademocrat,"remarkedAglaya。
"Well,ifyoucouldtellAlekseyaboutit,surelyyoucantellustoo。"
"Idosowanttohearaboutit,"repeatedAdelaida。
"Justnow,Iconfess,"begantheprince,withmoreanimation,"whenyouaskedmeforasubjectforapicture,IconfessIhadseriousthoughtsofgivingyouone。Ithoughtofaskingyoutodrawthefaceofacriminal,oneminutebeforethefalloftheguillotine,whilethewretchedmanisstillstandingonthescaffold,preparatorytoplacinghisneckontheblock。"
"What,hisface?onlyhisface?"askedAdelaida。"Thatwouldbeastrangesubjectindeed。Andwhatsortofapicturewouldthatmake?"
"Oh,whynot?"theprinceinsisted,withsomewarmth。"WhenIwasinBasleIsawapictureverymuchinthatstyle——Ishouldliketotellyouaboutit;Iwillsometimeorother;itstruckmeveryforcibly。"
"Oh,youshalltellusabouttheBaslepictureanothertime;nowwemusthaveallabouttheexecution,"saidAdelaida。"Tellusaboutthatfaceas;itappearedtoyourimagination-howshoulditbedrawn?——justthefacealone,doyoumean?"
"Itwasjustaminutebeforetheexecution,"begantheprince,readily,carriedawaybytherecollectionandevidentlyforgettingeverythingelseinamoment;"justattheinstantwhenhesteppedofftheladderontothescaffold。Hehappenedtolookinmydirection:Isawhiseyesandunderstoodall,atonce——buthowamItodescribeit?Idosowishyouorsomebodyelsecoulddrawit,you,ifpossible。Ithoughtatthetimewhatapictureitwouldmake。Youmustimagineallthatwentbefore,ofcourse,all——all。Hehadlivedintheprisonforsometimeandhadnotexpectedthattheexecutionwouldtakeplaceforatleastaweekyet——hehadcountedonalltheformalitiesandsoontakingtime;butitsohappenedthathispapershadbeengotreadyquickly。Atfiveo’clockinthemorninghewasasleep——itwasOctober,andatfiveinthemorningitwascoldanddark。Thegovernoroftheprisoncomesinontip-toeandtouchesthesleepingman’sshouldergently。Hestartsup。’Whatisit?’hesays。’Theexecutionisfixedforteno’clock。’Hewasonlyjustawake,andwouldnotbelieveatfirst,butbegantoarguethathispaperswouldnotbeoutforaweek,andsoon。Whenhewaswideawakeandrealizedthetruth,hebecameverysilentandarguednomore——sotheysay;butafterabithesaid:’Itcomesveryhardononesosuddenly’andthenhewassilentagainandsaidnothing。
"Thethreeorfourhourswentby,ofcourse,innecessarypreparations——thepriest,breakfast,coffee,meat,andsomewinetheygavehim;doesn’titseemridiculous?AndyetI
believethesepeoplegivethemagoodbreakfastoutofpurekindnessofheart,andbelievethattheyaredoingagoodaction。
Thenheisdressed,andthenbeginstheprocessionthroughthetowntothescaffold。Ithinkhe,too,mustfeelthathehasanagetolivestillwhiletheycarthimalong。Probablyhethought,ontheway,’Oh,Ihavealong,longtimeyet。Threestreetsoflifeyet!Whenwe’vepassedthisstreetthere’llbethatotherone;andthenthatonewherethebaker’sshopisontheright;
andwhenshallwegetthere?It’sages,ages!’Aroundhimarecrowdsshouting,yelling——tenthousandfaces,twentythousandeyes。Allthishastobeendured,andespeciallythethought:
’Herearetenthousandmen,andnotoneofthemisgoingtobeexecuted,andyetIamtodie。’Well,allthatispreparatory。
"Atthescaffoldthereisaladder,andjustthereheburstintotears——andthiswasastrongman,andaterriblywickedone,theysay!Therewasapriestwithhimthewholetime,talking;eveninthecartastheydrovealong,hetalkedandtalked。Probablytheotherheardnothing;hewouldbegintolistennowandthen,andatthethirdwordorsohehadforgottenallaboutit。
"Atlasthebegantomountthesteps;hislegsweretied,sothathehadtotakeverysmallsteps。Thepriest,whoseemedtobeawiseman,hadstoppedtalkingnow,andonlyheldthecrossforthewretchedfellowtokiss。Atthefootoftheladderhehadbeenpaleenough;butwhenhesetfootonthescaffoldatthetop,hisfacesuddenlybecamethecolourofpaper,positivelylikewhitenotepaper。Hislegsmusthavebecomesuddenlyfeebleandhelpless,andhefeltachokinginhisthroat——youknowthesuddenfeelingonehasinmomentsofterriblefear,whenonedoesnotloseone’swits,butisabsolutelypowerlesstomove?Ifsomedreadfulthingweresuddenlytohappen;ifahousewerejustabouttofallonone;——don’tyouknowhowonewouldlongtositdownandshutone’seyesandwait,andwait?Well,whenthisterriblefeelingcameoverhim,thepriestquicklypressedthecrosstohislips,withoutaword——alittlesilvercrossitwas-
andhekeptonpressingittotheman’slipseverysecond。Andwheneverthecrosstouchedhislips,theeyeswouldopenforamoment,andthelegsmovedonce,andhekissedthecrossgreedily,hurriedly——justasthoughhewereanxioustocatchholdofsomethingincaseofitsbeingusefultohimafterwards,thoughhecouldhardlyhavehadanyconnectedreligiousthoughtsatthetime。Andsouptotheveryblock。
"Howstrangethatcriminalsseldomswoonatsuchamoment!Onthecontrary,thebrainisespeciallyactive,andworksincessantly——
probablyhard,hard,hard——likeanengineatfullpressure。I
imaginethatvariousthoughtsmustbeatloudandfastthroughhishead——allunfinishedones,andstrange,funnythoughts,verylikely!——likethis,forinstance:’Thatmanislookingatme,andhehasawartonhisforehead!andtheexecutionerhasburstoneofhisbuttons,andthelowestoneisallrusty!’Andmeanwhilehenoticesandrememberseverything。Thereisonepointthatcannotbeforgotten,roundwhicheverythingelsedancesandturnsabout;andbecauseofthispointhecannotfaint,andthislastsuntiltheveryfinalquarterofasecond,whenthewretchedneckisontheblockandthevictimlistensandwaitsandKNOWS——
that’sthepoint,heKNOWSthatheisjustNOWabouttodie,andlistensfortheraspoftheironoverhishead。IfIlaythere,I
shouldcertainlylistenforthatgratingsound,andhearit,too!
Therewouldprobablybebutthetenthpartofaninstantlefttohearitin,butonewouldcertainlyhearit。Andimagine,somepeopledeclarethatwhentheheadfliesoffitisCONSCIOUSofhavingflownoff!Justimaginewhatathingtorealize!Fancyifconsciousnessweretolastforevenfiveseconds!
"Drawthescaffoldsothatonlythetopstepoftheladdercomesinclearly。Thecriminalmustbejuststeppingontoit,hisfaceaswhiteasnote-paper。Thepriestisholdingthecrosstohisbluelips,andthecriminalkissesit,andknowsandseesandunderstandseverything。Thecrossandthehead——there’syourpicture;thepriestandtheexecutioner,withhistwoassistants,andafewheadsandeyesbelow。Thosemightcomeinassubordinateaccessories——asortofmist。There’sapictureforyou。"Theprincepaused,andlookedaround。
"Certainlythatisn’tmuchlikequietism,"murmuredAlexandra,halftoherself。
"Nowtellusaboutyourloveaffairs,"saidAdelaida,afteramoment’spause。
Theprincegazedatherinamazement。
"Youknow,"Adelaidacontinued,"youoweusadescriptionoftheBaslepicture;butfirstIwishtohearhowyoufellinlove。
Don’tdenythefact,foryoudid,ofcourse。Besides,youstopphilosophizingwhenyouaretellingaboutanything。"
"Whyareyouashamedofyourstoriesthemomentafteryouhavetoldthem?"askedAglaya,suddenly。
"Howsillyyouare!"saidMrs。Epanchin,lookingindignantlytowardsthelastspeaker。
"Yes,thatwasn’tacleverremark,"saidAlexandra。
"Don’tlistentoher,prince,"saidMrs。Epanchin;"shesaysthatsortofthingoutofmischief。Don’tthinkanythingoftheirnonsense,itmeansnothing。Theylovetochaff,buttheylikeyou。Icanseeitintheirfaces——Iknowtheirfaces。"
"Iknowtheirfaces,too,"saidtheprince,withapeculiarstressonthewords。
"Howso?"askedAdelaida,withcuriosity。
"WhatdoYOUknowaboutourfaces?"exclaimedtheothertwo,inchorus。
Buttheprincewassilentandserious。Allawaitedhisreply。
"I’lltellyouafterwards,"hesaidquietly。
"Ah,youwanttoarouseourcuriosity!"saidAglaya。"Andhowterriblysolemnyouareaboutit!"
"Verywell,"interruptedAdelaida,"thenifyoucanreadfacessowell,youmusthavebeeninlove。Comenow;I’veguessed——let’shavethesecret!"
"Ihavenotbeeninlove,"saidtheprince,asquietlyandseriouslyasbefore。"Ihavebeenhappyinanotherway。"
"How,how?"
"Well,I’lltellyou,"saidtheprince,apparentlyinadeepreverie。
VI。
"Hereyouallare,"begantheprince,"settlingyourselvesdowntolistentomewithsomuchcuriosity,thatifIdonotsatisfyyouyouwillprobablybeangrywithme。No,no!I’monlyjoking!"headded,hastily,withasmile。
"Well,then——theywereallchildrenthere,andIwasalwaysamongchildrenandonlywithchildren。TheywerethechildrenofthevillageinwhichIlived,andtheywenttotheschoolthere——allofthem。Ididnotteachthem,ohno;therewasamasterforthat,oneJulesThibaut。Imayhavetaughtthemsomethings,butIwasamongthemjustasanoutsider,andIpassedallfouryearsofmylifethereamongthem。Iwishedfornothingbetter;Iusedtotellthemeverythingandhidnothingfromthem。Theirfathersandrelationswereveryangrywithme,becausethechildrencoulddonothingwithoutmeatlast,andusedtothrongaftermeatalltimes。Theschoolmasterwasmygreatestenemyintheend!Ihadmanyenemies,andallbecauseofthechildren。EvenSchneiderreproachedme。Whatweretheyafraidof?Onecantellachildeverything,anything。Ihaveoftenbeenstruckbythefactthatparentsknowtheirchildrensolittle。Theyshouldnotconcealsomuchfromthem。Howwellevenlittlechildrenunderstandthattheirparentsconcealthingsfromthem,becausetheyconsiderthemtooyoungtounderstand!Childrenarecapableofgivingadviceinthemostimportantmatters。Howcanonedeceivethesedearlittlebirds,whentheylookatonesosweetlyandconfidingly?Icallthembirdsbecausethereisnothingintheworldbetterthanbirds!
"However,mostofthepeoplewereangrywithmeaboutoneandthesamething;butThibautsimplywasjealousofme。AtfirsthehadwaggedhisheadandwonderedhowitwasthatthechildrenunderstoodwhatItoldthemsowell,andcouldnotlearnfromhim;andhelaughedlikeanythingwhenIrepliedthatneitherhenorIcouldteachthemverymuch,butthatTHEYmightteachusagooddeal。
"Howhecouldhatemeandtellscandalousstoriesaboutme,livingamongchildrenashedid,iswhatIcannotunderstand。
Childrensootheandhealthewoundedheart。Iremembertherewasonepoorfellowatourprofessor’swhowasbeingtreatedformadness,andyouhavenoideawhatthosechildrendidforhim,eventually。Idon’tthinkhewasmad,butonlyterriblyunhappy。ButI’lltellyouallabouthimanotherday。NowImustgetonwiththisstory。
"Thechildrendidnotlovemeatfirst;Iwassuchasickly,awkwardkindofafellowthen——andIknowIamugly。Besides,I
wasaforeigner。Thechildrenusedtolaughatme,atfirst;andtheyevenwentsofarastothrowstonesatme,whentheysawmekissMarie。Ionlykissedheronceinmylife——no,no,don’tlaugh!"Theprincehastenedtosuppressthesmilesofhisaudienceatthispoint。"ItwasnotamatterofLOVEatall!Ifonlyyouknewwhatamiserablecreatureshewas,youwouldhavepitiedher,justasIdid。Shebelongedtoourvillage。Hermotherwasanold,oldwoman,andtheyusedtosellstringandthread,andsoapandtobacco,outofthewindowoftheirlittlehouse,andlivedonthepittancetheygainedbythistrade。Theoldwomanwasillandveryold,andcouldhardlymove。Mariewasherdaughter,agirloftwenty,weakandthinandconsumptive;
butstillshedidheavyworkatthehousesaround,daybyday。
Well,onefinedayacommercialtravellerbetrayedherandcarriedheroff;andaweeklaterhedesertedher。Shecamehomedirty,draggled,andshoeless;shehadwalkedforawholeweekwithoutshoes;shehadsleptinthefields,andcaughtaterriblecold;herfeetwereswollenandsore,andherhandstornandscratchedallover。Sheneverhadbeenprettyevenbefore;buthereyeswerequiet,innocent,kindeyes。
"Shewasveryquietalways——andIrememberonce,whenshehadsuddenlybegunsingingatherwork,everyonesaid,’Marietriedtosingtoday!’andshegotsochaffedthatshewassilentforeverafter。Shehadbeentreatedkindlyintheplacebefore;butwhenshecamebacknow——illandshunnedandmiserable——notoneofthemallhadtheslightestsympathyforher。Cruelpeople!Oh,whathazyunderstandingstheyhaveonsuchmatters!Hermotherwasthefirsttoshowtheway。Shereceivedherwrathfully,unkindly,andwithcontempt。’Youhavedisgracedme,’shesaid。
Shewasthefirsttocastherintoignominy;butwhentheyallheardthatMariehadreturnedtothevillage,theyranouttoseeherandcrowdedintothelittlecottage——oldmen,children,women,girls——suchahurrying,stamping,greedycrowd。Mariewaslyingonthefloorattheoldwoman’sfeet,hungry,torn,draggled,crying,miserable。
"Wheneveryonecrowdedintotheroomshehidherfaceinherdishevelledhairandlaycoweringonthefloor。Everyonelookedatherasthoughshewereapieceofdirtofftheroad。Theoldmenscoldedandcondemned,andtheyoungoneslaughedather。Thewomencondemnedhertoo,andlookedathercontemptuously,justasthoughsheweresomeloathsomeinsect。
"Hermotherallowedallthistogoon,andnoddedherheadandencouragedthem。Theoldwomanwasveryillatthattime,andknewshewasdyingshereallydiddieacoupleofmonthslater,andthoughshefelttheendapproachingsheneverthoughtofforgivingherdaughter,totheverydayofherdeath。Shewouldnotevenspeaktoher。Shemadehersleeponstrawinashed,andhardlygaveherfoodenoughtosupportlife。
"Mariewasverygentletohermother,andnursedher,anddideverythingforher;buttheoldwomanacceptedallherserviceswithoutawordandnevershowedhertheslightestkindness。Marieboreallthis;andIcouldseewhenIgottoknowherthatshethoughtitquiterightandfitting,consideringherselfthelowestandmeanestofcreatures。
"Whentheoldwomantooktoherbedfinally,theotheroldwomeninthevillagesatwithherbyturns,asthecustomisthere;andthenMariewasquitedrivenoutofthehouse。Theygavehernofoodatall,andshecouldnotgetanyworkinthevillage;nonewouldemployher。Themenseemedtoconsiderhernolongerawoman,theysaidsuchdreadfulthingstoher。SometimesonSundays,iftheyweredrunkenough,theyusedtothrowherapennyortwo,intothemud,andMariewouldsilentlypickupthemoney。Shehadbegantospitbloodatthattime。
"Atlastherragsbecamesotatteredandtornthatshewasashamedofappearinginthevillageanylonger。Thechildrenusedtopeltherwithmud;soshebeggedtobetakenonasassistantcowherd,butthecowherdwouldnothaveher。Thenshetooktohelpinghimwithoutleave;andhesawhowvaluableherassistancewastohim,anddidnotdriveherawayagain;onthecontrary,heoccasionallygavehertheremnantsofhisdinner,breadandcheese。Heconsideredthathewasbeingverykind。Whenthemotherdied,thevillageparsonwasnotashamedtoholdMarieuptopublicderisionandshame。Mariewasstandingatthecoffin’shead,inallherrags,crying。
"Acrowdofpeoplehadcollectedtoseehowshewouldcry。Theparson,ayoungfellowambitiousofbecomingagreatpreacher,beganhissermonandpointedtoMarie。’There,’hesaid,’thereisthecauseofthedeathofthisvenerablewoman’——whichwasalie,becauseshehadbeenillforatleasttwoyears——’thereshestandsbeforeyou,anddaresnotlifthereyesfromtheground,becausesheknowsthatthefingerofGodisuponher。Lookathertattersandrags——thebadgeofthosewholosetheirvirtue。Whoisshe?herdaughter!’andsoontotheend。
"Andjustfancy,thisinfamypleasedthem,allofthem,nearly。
Onlythechildrenhadaltered——forthentheywereallonmysideandhadlearnedtoloveMarie。
"Thisishowitwas:IhadwishedtodosomethingforMarie;I
longedtogivehersomemoney,butIneverhadafarthingwhileI
wasthere。ButIhadalittlediamondpin,andthisIsoldtoatravellingpedlar;hegavemeeightfrancsforit——itwasworthatleastforty。
"IlongsoughttomeetMariealone;andatlastIdidmeether,onthehillsidebeyondthevillage。IgavehertheeightfrancsandaskedhertotakecareofthemoneybecauseIcouldgetnomore;andthenIkissedherandsaidthatshewasnottosupposeIkissedherwithanyevilmotivesorbecauseIwasinlovewithher,forthatIdidsosolelyoutofpityforher,andbecausefromthefirstIhadnotaccountedherasguiltysomuchasunfortunate。Ilongedtoconsoleandencouragehersomehow,andtoassureherthatshewasnotthelow,basethingwhichsheandothersstrovetomakeout;butIdon’tthinksheunderstoodme。
Shestoodbeforeme,dreadfullyashamedofherself,andwithdowncasteyes;andwhenIhadfinishedshekissedmyhand。I
wouldhavekissedhers,butshedrewitaway。Justatthismomentthewholetroopofchildrensawus。Ifoundoutafterwardsthattheyhadlongkeptawatchuponme。Theyallbeganwhistlingandclappingtheirhands,andlaughingatus。Marieranawayatonce;
andwhenItriedtotalktothem,theythrewstonesatme。Allthevillageheardofitthesameday,andMarie’spositionbecameworsethanever。Thechildrenwouldnotletherpassnowinthestreets,butannoyedherandthrewdirtathermorethanbefore。
Theyusedtorunafterher——sheracingawaywithherpoorfeeblelungspantingandgasping,andtheypeltingherandshoutingabuseather。
"OnceIhadtointerferebyforce;andafterthatItooktospeakingtothemeverydayandwheneverIcould。Occasionallytheystoppedandlistened;buttheyteasedMarieallthesame。
"ItoldthemhowunhappyMariewas,andafterawhiletheystoppedtheirabuseofher,andlethergobysilently。Littlebylittlewegotintothewayofconversingtogether,thechildrenandI。Iconcealednothingfromthem,Itoldthemall。TheylistenedveryattentivelyandsoonbegantobesorryforMarie。
Atlastsomeofthemtooktosaying’Good-morning’toher,kindly,whentheymether。Itisthecustomtheretosaluteanyoneyoumeetwith’Good-morning’whetheracquaintedornot。I
canimaginehowastonishedMariewasatthesefirstgreetingsfromthechildren。
"Oncetwolittlegirlsgotholdofsomefoodandtookittoher,andcamebackandtoldme。Theysaidshehadburstintotears,andthattheylovedherverymuchnow。VerysoonafterthattheyallbecamefondofMarie,andatthesametimetheybegantodevelopthegreatestaffectionformyself。Theyoftencametomeandbeggedmetotellthemstories。IthinkImusthavetoldstorieswell,fortheydidsolovetohearthem。AtlastItooktoreadingupinterestingthingsonpurposetopassthemontothelittleones,andthiswentonforalltherestofmytimethere,threeyears。Later,wheneveryone——evenSchneider——wasangrywithmeforhidingnothingfromthechildren,Ipointedouthowfoolishitwas,fortheyalwaysknewthings,onlytheylearnttheminawaythatsoiledtheirmindsbutnotsofromme。Onehasonlytorememberone’sownchildhoodtoadmitthetruthofthis。
Butnobodywasconvinced……ItwastwoweeksbeforehermotherdiedthatIhadkissedMarie;andwhentheclergymanpreachedthatsermonthechildrenwereallonmyside。
"WhenItoldthemwhatashameitwasoftheparsontotalkashehaddone,andexplainedmyreason,theyweresoangrythatsomeofthemwentandbrokehiswindowswithstones。OfcourseI
stoppedthem,forthatwasnotright,butallthevillageheardofit,andhowIcaughtitforspoilingthechildren!EveryonediscoverednowthatthelittleoneshadtakentobeingfondofMarie,andtheirparentswereterriblyalarmed;butMariewassohappy。Thechildrenwereforbiddentomeether;buttheyusedtorunoutofthevillagetotheherdandtakeherfoodandthings;
andsometimesjustranoffthereandkissedher,andsaid,’Jevousaime,Marie!’andthentrottedbackagain。TheyimaginedthatIwasinlovewithMarie,andthiswastheonlypointonwhichIdidnotundeceivethem,fortheygotsuchenjoymentoutofit。Andwhatdelicacyandtendernesstheyshowed!
"IntheeveningIusedtowalktothewaterfall。Therewasaspottherewhichwasquiteclosedinandhiddenfromviewbylargetrees;andtothisspotthechildrenusedtocometome。TheycouldnotbearthattheirdearLeonshouldloveapoorgirlwithoutshoestoherfeetanddressedallinragsandtatters。
So,wouldyoubelieveit,theyactuallyclubbedtogether,somehow,andboughthershoesandstockings,andsomelinen,andevenadress!Ican’tunderstandhowtheymanagedit,buttheydidit,alltogether。WhenIaskedthemaboutittheyonlylaughedandshouted,andthelittlegirlsclappedtheirhandsandkissedme。IsometimeswenttoseeMariesecretly,too。Shehadbecomeveryill,andcouldhardlywalk。Shestillwentwiththeherd,butcouldnothelptheherdsmananylonger。Sheusedtositonastonenear,andwaittherealmostmotionlessallday,tilltheherdwenthome。Herconsumptionwassoadvanced,andshewassoweak,thatsheusedtositwithclosedeyes,breathingheavily。Herfacewasasthinasaskeleton’s,andsweatusedtostandonherwhitebrowinlargedrops。Ialwaysfoundhersittingjustlikethat。Iusedtocomeupquietlytolookather;
butMariewouldhearme,openhereyes,andtrembleviolentlyasshekissedmyhands。Ididnottakemyhandawaybecauseitmadeherhappytohaveit,andsoshewouldsitandcryquietly。
Sometimesshetriedtospeak;butitwasverydifficulttounderstandher。Shewasalmostlikeamadwoman,withexcitementandecstasy,wheneverIcame。Occasionallythechildrencamewithme;whentheydidso,theywouldstandsomewayoffandkeepguardoverus,soastotellmeifanybodycamenear。Thiswasagreatpleasuretothem。
"Whenwelefther,Marieusedtorelapseatonceintoheroldcondition,andsitwithclosedeyesandmotionlesslimbs。Onedayshecouldnotgooutatall,andremainedathomeallaloneintheemptyhut;butthechildrenverysoonbecameawareofthefact,andnearlyallofthemvisitedherthatdayasshelayaloneandhelplessinhermiserablebed。
"Fortwodaysthechildrenlookedafterher,andthen,whenthevillagepeoplegottoknowthatMariewasreallydying,someoftheoldwomencameandtookitinturnstositbyherandlookafterherabit。Ithinktheybegantobealittlesorryforherinthevillageatlast;atalleventstheydidnotinterferewiththechildrenanymore,onheraccount。
"Marielayinastateofuncomfortabledeliriumthewholewhile;
shecougheddreadfully。Theoldwomenwouldnotletthechildrenstayintheroom;buttheyallcollectedoutsidethewindoweachmorning,ifonlyforamoment,andshouted’Bonjour,notrebonneMarie!’andMarienosoonercaughtsightof,orheardthem,andshebecamequiteanimatedatonce,and,inspiteoftheoldwomen,wouldtrytositupandnodherheadandsmileatthem,andthankthem。Thelittleonesusedtobringhernicethingsandsweetstoeat,butshecouldhardlytouchanything。Thankstothem,Iassureyou,thegirldiedalmostperfectlyhappy。Shealmostforgothermisery,andseemedtoaccepttheirloveasasortofsymbolofpardonforheroffence,thoughsheneverceasedtoconsiderherselfadreadfulsinner。Theyusedtoflutteratherwindowjustlikelittlebirds,callingout:’Noust’aimons,Marie!’
"Shediedverysoon;Ihadthoughtshewouldlivemuchlonger。
ThedaybeforeherdeathIwenttoseeherforthelasttime,justbeforesunset。Ithinksherecognizedme,forshepressedmyhand。
"NextmorningtheycameandtoldmethatMariewasdead。Thechildrencouldnotberestrainednow;theywentandcoveredhercoffinwithflowers,andputawreathoflovelyblossomsonherhead。Thepastordidnotthrowanymoreshamefulwordsatthepoordeadwoman;buttherewereveryfewpeopleatthefuneral。
However,whenitcametocarryingthecoffin,allthechildrenrushedup,tocarryitthemselves。Ofcoursetheycouldnotdoitalone,buttheyinsistedonhelping,andwalkedalongsideandbehind,crying。
"Theyhaveplantedrosesallroundhergrave,andeveryyeartheylookaltertheflowersandmakeMarie’sresting-placeasbeautifulastheycan。Iwasinillodourafterallthiswiththeparentsofthechildren,andespeciallywiththeparsonandschoolmaster。SchneiderwasobligedtopromisethatIshouldnotmeetthemandtalktothem;butweconversedfromadistancebysigns,andtheyusedtowritemesweetlittlenotes。AfterwardsI
camecloserthanevertothoselittlesouls,buteventhenitwasverydeartome,tohavethemsofondofme。
"SchneidersaidthatIdidthechildrengreatharmbymypernicious’system’;whatnonsensethatwas!Andwhatdidhemeanbymysystem?HesaidafterwardsthathebelievedIwasachildmyself——justbeforeIcameaway。’Youhavetheformandfaceofanadult’hesaid,’butasregardssoul,andcharacter,andperhapsevenintelligence,youareachildinthecompletestsenseoftheword,andalwayswillbe,ifyoulivetobesixty。’Ilaughedverymuch,forofcoursethatisnonsense。ButitisafactthatIdonotcaretobeamonggrown-uppeopleandmuchpreferthesocietyofchildren。Howeverkindpeoplemaybetome,Ineverfeelquiteathomewiththem,andamalwaysgladtogetbacktomylittlecompanions。Nowmycompanionshavealwaysbeenchildren,notbecauseIwasachildmyselfonce,butbecauseyoungthingsattractme。OnoneofthefirstdaysofmystayinSwitzerland,Iwasstrollingaboutaloneandmiserable,whenI
cameuponthechildrenrushingnoisilyoutofschool,withtheirslatesandbags,andbooks,theirgames,theirlaughterandshouts——andmysoulwentouttothem。IstoppedandlaughedhappilyasIwatchedtheirlittlefeetmovingsoquickly。Girlsandboys,laughingandcrying;forastheywenthomemanyofthemfoundtimetofightandmakepeace,toweepandplay。Iforgotmytroublesinlookingatthem。Andthen,allthosethreeyears,I
triedtounderstandwhymenshouldbeforevertormentingthemselves。Ilivedthelifeofachildthere,andthoughtI
shouldneverleavethelittlevillage;indeed,IwasfarfromthinkingthatIshouldeverreturntoRussia。ButatlastI
recognizedthefactthatSchneidercouldnotkeepmeanylonger。
Andthensomethingsoimportanthappened,thatSchneiderhimselfurgedmetodepart。Iamgoingtoseenowifcangetgoodadviceaboutit。Perhapsmylotinlifewillbechanged;butthatisnottheprincipalthing。Theprincipalthingistheentirechangethathasalreadycomeoverme。Ileftmanythingsbehindme——toomany。Theyhavegone。OnthejourneyIsaidtomyself,’Iamgoingintotheworldofmen。Idon’tknowmuch,perhaps,butanewlifehasbegunforme。’Imadeupmymindtobehonest,andsteadfastinaccomplishingmytask。PerhapsIshallmeetwithtroublesandmanydisappointments,butIhavemadeupmymindtobepoliteandsinceretoeveryone;morecannotbeaskedofme。
Peoplemayconsidermeachildiftheylike。Iamoftencalledanidiot,andatonetimeIcertainlywassoillthatIwasnearlyasbadasanidiot;butIamnotanidiotnow。HowcanIpossiblybesowhenIknowmyselfthatIamconsideredone?
"WhenIreceivedaletterfromthosedearlittlesouls,whilepassingthroughBerlin,IonlythenrealizedhowmuchIlovedthem。Itwasvery,verypainful,gettingthatfirstlittleletter。Howmelancholytheyhadbeenwhentheysawmeoff!Foramonthbefore,theyhadbeentalkingofmydepartureandsorrowingoverit;andatthewaterfall,ofanevening,whenwepartedforthenight,theywouldhugmesotightandkissmesowarmly,farmoresothanbefore。AndeverynowandthentheywouldturnuponebyonewhenIwasalone,justtogivemeakissandahug,toshowtheirloveforme。Thewholeflockwentwithmetothestation,whichwasaboutamilefromthevillage,andeverynowandthenoneofthemwouldstoptothrowhisarmsroundme,andallthelittlegirlshadtearsintheirvoices,thoughtheytriedhardnottocry。Asthetrainsteamedoutofthestation,Isawthemallstandingontheplatformwavingtomeandcrying’Hurrah!’tilltheywerelostinthedistance。
"Iassureyou,whenIcameinherejustnowandsawyourkindfacesIcanreadfaceswellmyheartfeltlightforthefirsttimesincethatmomentofparting。IthinkImustbeoneofthosewhoareborntobeinluck,foronedoesnotoftenmeetwithpeoplewhomonefeelshecanlovefromthefirstsightoftheirfaces;andyet,nosoonerdoIstepoutoftherailwaycarriagethanIhappenuponyou!
"Iknowitismoreorlessashamefacedthingtospeakofone’sfeelingsbeforeothers;andyethereamItalkinglikethistoyou,andamnotabitashamedorshy。Iamanunsociablesortoffellowandshallverylikelynotcometoseeyouagainforsometime;butdon’tthinktheworseofmeforthat。ItisnotthatIdonotvalueyoursociety;andyoumustneversupposethatIhavetakenoffenceatanything。
"Youaskedmeaboutyourfaces,andwhatIcouldreadinthem;I
willtellyouwiththegreatestpleasure。You,AdelaidaIvanovna,haveaveryhappyface;itisthemostsympatheticofthethree。
Nottospeakofyournaturalbeauty,onecanlookatyourfaceandsaytoone’sself,’Shehasthefaceofakindsister。’Youaresimpleandmerry,butyoucanseeintoanother’sheartveryquickly。That’swhatIreadinyourface。
"Youtoo,AlexandraIvanovna,haveaverylovelyface;butI
thinkyoumayhavesomesecretsorrow。Yourheartisundoubtedlyakind,goodone,butyouarenotmerry。Thereisacertainsuspicionof’shadow’inyourface,likeinthatofHolbein’sMadonnainDresden。Somuchforyourface。HaveIguessedright?
"Asforyourface,LizabethaProkofievna,Inotonlythink,butamperfectlySURE,thatyouareanabsolutechild——inall,inall,mind,bothgoodandbad-andinspiteofyouryears。Don’tbeangrywithmeforsayingso;youknowwhatmyfeelingsforchildrenare。AnddonotsupposethatIamsocandidoutofpuresimplicityofsoul。Ohdearno,itisbynomeansthecase!
PerhapsIhavemyownveryprofoundobjectinview。"
VII。
Whentheprinceceasedspeakingallweregazingmerrilyathim——
evenAglaya;butLizabethaProkofievnalookedthejolliestofall。
"Well!"shecried,"weHAVE’puthimthroughhispaces,’withavengeance!Mydears,youimagined,Ibelieve,thatyouwereabouttopatronizethisyounggentleman,likesomepoorprotegepickedupsomewhere,andtakenunderyourmagnificentprotection。Whatfoolswewere,andwhataspeciallybigfoolisyourfather!Welldone,prince!Iassureyouthegeneralactuallyaskedmetoputyouthroughyourpaces,andexamineyou。Astowhatyousaidaboutmyface,youareabsolutelycorrectinyourjudgment。Iamachild,andknowit。Iknewitlongbeforeyousaidso;youhaveexpressedmyownthoughts。Ithinkyournatureandminemustbeextremelyalike,andIamverygladofit。Weareliketwodropsofwater,onlyyouareamanandIawoman,andI’venotbeentoSwitzerland,andthatisallthedifferencebetweenus。"
"Don’tbeinahurry,mother;theprincesaysthathehassomemotivebehindhissimplicity,"criedAglaya。
"Yes,yes,sohedoes,"laughedtheothers。
"Oh,don’tyoubeginbanteringhim,"saidmamma。"Heisprobablyagooddealclevererthanallthreeofyougirlsputtogether。Weshallsee。Onlyyouhaven’ttoldusanythingaboutAglayayet,prince;andAglayaandIarebothwaitingtohear。"
"Icannotsayanythingatpresent。I’lltellyouafterwards。"
"Why?Herfaceisclearenough,isn’tit?"
"Ohyes,ofcourse。Youareverybeautiful,AglayaIvanovna,sobeautifulthatoneisafraidtolookatyou。"
"Isthatall?Whatabouthercharacter?"persistedMrs。Epanchin。
"Itisdifficulttojudgewhensuchbeautyisconcerned。Ihavenotpreparedmyjudgment。Beautyisariddle。"
"ThatmeansthatyouhavesetAglayaariddle!"saidAdelaida。
"Guessit,Aglaya!Butshe’spretty,prince,isn’tshe?"
"Mostwonderfullyso,"saidthelatter,warmly,gazingatAglayawithadmiration。"AlmostaslovelyasNastasiaPhilipovna,butquiteadifferenttype。"
Allpresentexchangedlooksofsurprise。
"AslovelyasWHO?"saidMrs。Epanchin。"AsNASTASIAPHILIPOVNA?
WherehaveyouseenNastasiaPhilipovna?WhatNastasiaPhilipovna?"
"GavrilaArdalionovitchshowedthegeneralherportraitjustnow。"
"Howso?Didhebringtheportraitformyhusband?"
"Onlytoshowit。NastasiaPhilipovnagaveittoGavrilaArdalionovitchtoday,andthelatterbroughtitheretoshowtothegeneral。"
"Imustseeit!"criedMrs。Epanchin。"Whereistheportrait?Ifshegaveittohim,hemusthaveit;andheisstillinthestudy。Heneverleavesbeforefouro’clockonWednesdays。SendforGavrilaArdalionovitchatonce。No,Idon’tlongtoseeHIM
somuch。Lookhere,dearprince,BEsokind,willyou?Juststeptothestudyandfetchthisportrait!Saywewanttolookatit。
Pleasedothisforme,willyou?"
"Heisanicefellow,butalittletoosimple,"saidAdelaida,astheprincelefttheroom。
"Heis,indeed,"saidAlexandra;"almostlaughablysoattimes。"
Neitheronenortheotherseemedtogiveexpressiontoherfullthoughts。
"Hegotoutofitveryneatlyaboutourfaces,though,"saidAglaya。Heflatteredusallround,evenmamma。"
"Nonsense"criedthelatter。"Hedidnotflatterme。ItwasIwhofoundhisappreciationflattering。Ithinkyouareagreatdealmorefoolishthanheis。Heissimple,ofcourse,butalsoveryknowing。Justlikemyself。"
"Howstupidofmetospeakoftheportrait,"thoughttheprinceasheenteredthestudy,withafeelingofguiltathisheart,"andyet,perhapsIwasrightafterall。"Hehadanidea,unformedasyet,butastrangeidea。
GavrilaArdalionovitchwasstillsittinginthestudy,buriedinamassofpapers。Helookedasthoughhedidnottakehissalaryfromthepubliccompany,whoseservanthewas,forasinecure。
Hegrewverywrothandconfusedwhentheprinceaskedfortheportrait,andexplainedhowitcameaboutthathehadspokenofit。
"Oh,curseitall,"hesaid;"whatonearthmustyougoblabbingfor?Youknownothingaboutthething,andyet——idiot!"headded,mutteringthelastwordtohimselfinirrepressiblerage。
"Iamverysorry;Iwasnotthinkingatthetime。ImerelysaidthatAglayawasalmostasbeautifulasNastasiaPhilipovna。"
Ganiaaskedforfurtherdetails;andtheprinceoncemorerepeatedtheconversation。Ganialookedathimwithironicalcontemptthewhile。
"NastasiaPhilipovna,"hebegan,andtherepaused;hewasclearlymuchagitatedandannoyed。Theprinceremindedhimoftheportrait。
"Listen,prince,"saidGania,asthoughanideahadjuststruckhim,"Iwishtoaskyouagreatfavour,andyetIreallydon’tknow——"
Hepausedagain,hewastryingtomakeuphismindtosomething,andwasturningthematterover。Theprincewaitedquietly。OncemoreGaniafixedhimwithintentandquestioningeyes。
"Prince,"hebeganagain,"theyareratherangrywithme,inthere,owingtoacircumstancewhichIneednotexplain,sothatIdonotcaretogoinatpresentwithoutaninvitation。I
particularlywishtospeaktoAglaya,butIhavewrittenafewwordsincaseIshallnothavethechanceofseeingher"heretheprinceobservedasmallnoteinhishand,"andIdonotknowhowtogetmycommunicationtoher。Don’tyouthinkyoucouldundertaketogiveittoheratonce,butonlytoher,mind,andsothatnooneelseshouldseeyougiveit?Itisn’tmuchofasecret,butstill——Well,willyoudoit?"
"Idon’tquitelikeit,"repliedtheprince。
"Oh,butitisabsolutelynecessaryforme,"Ganiaentreated。
"Believeme,ifitwerenotso,Iwouldnotaskyou;howelseamItogetittoher?Itismostimportant,dreadfullyimportant!"
Ganiawasevidentlymuchalarmedattheideathattheprincewouldnotconsenttotakehisnote,andhelookedathimnowwithanexpressionofabsoluteentreaty。
"Well,Iwilltakeitthen。"
"Butmind,nobodyistosee!"criedthedelightedGania"AndofcourseImayrelyonyourwordofhonour,eh?"
"Iwon’tshowittoanyone,"saidtheprince。
"Theletterisnotsealed——"continuedGania,andpausedinconfusion。
"Oh,Iwon’treadit,"saidtheprince,quitesimply。
Hetookuptheportrait,andwentoutoftheroom。
Gania,leftalone,clutchedhisheadwithhishands。
"Onewordfromher,"hesaid,"onewordfromher,andImayyetbefree。"
Hecouldnotsettlehimselftohispapersagain,foragitationandexcitement,butbeganwalkingupanddowntheroomfromcornertocorner。
Theprincewalkedalong,musing。Hedidnotlikehiscommission,anddislikedtheideaofGaniasendinganotetoAglayaatall;butwhenhewastworoomsdistantfromthedrawing-room,wheretheyallwere,hestoppedathoughrecallingsomething;wenttothewindow,nearerthelight,andbegantoexaminetheportraitinhishand。
HelongedtosolvethemysteryofsomethinginthefaceNastasiaPhilipovna,somethingwhichhadstruckhimashelookedattheportraitforthefirsttime;theimpressionhadnotlefthim。Itwaspartlythefactofhermarvellousbeautythatstruckhim,andpartlysomethingelse。Therewasasuggestionofimmenseprideanddisdaininthefacealmostofhatred,andatthesametimesomethingconfidingandveryfullofsimplicity。Thecontrastarousedadeepsympathyinhisheartashelookedatthelovelyface。Theblindinglovelinessofitwasalmostintolerable,thispalethinfacewithitsflamingeyes;itwasastrangebeauty。
Theprincegazedatitforaminuteortwo,thenglancedaroundhim,andhurriedlyraisedtheportraittohislips。When,aminuteafter,hereachedthedrawing-roomdoor,hisfacewasquitecomposed。ButjustashereachedthedoorhemetAglayacomingoutalone。
"GavrilaArdalionovitchbeggedmetogiveyouthis,"hesaid,handingherthenote。
Aglayastopped,tooktheletter,andgazedstrangelyintotheprince’seyes。Therewasnoconfusioninherface;alittlesurprise,perhaps,butthatwasall。ByherlooksheseemedmerelytochallengetheprincetoanexplanationastohowheandGaniahappenedtobeconnectedinthismatter。Butherexpressionwasperfectlycoolandquiet,andevencondescending。
Sotheystoodforamomentortwo,confrontingoneanother。Atlengthafaintsmilepassedoverherface,andshepassedbyhimwithoutaword。
Mrs。EpanchinexaminedtheportraitofNastasiaPhilipovnaforsomelittlewhile,holdingitcriticallyatarm’slength。
"Yes,sheispretty,"shesaidatlast,"evenverypretty。Ihaveseenhertwice,butonlyatadistance。Soyouadmirethiskindofbeauty,doyou?"sheaskedtheprince,suddenly。
"Yes,Ido——thiskind。"
"Doyoumeanespeciallythiskind?"
"Yes,especiallythiskind。"
"Why?"
"Thereismuchsufferinginthisface,"murmuredtheprince,moreasthoughtalkingtohimselfthanansweringthequestion。
"Ithinkyouarewanderingalittle,prince,"Mrs。Epanchindecided,afteralengthenedsurveyofhisface;andshetossedtheportraitontothetable,haughtily。
Alexandratookit,andAdelaidacameup,andboththegirlsexaminedthephotograph。JustthenAglayaenteredtheroom。
"Whatapower!"criedAdelaidasuddenly,assheearnestlyexaminedtheportraitoverhersister’sshoulder。
"Whom?Whatpower?"askedhermother,crossly。
"Suchbeautyisrealpower,"saidAdelaida。"Withsuchbeautyasthatonemightoverthrowtheworld。"Shereturnedtohereaselthoughtfully。
Aglayamerelyglancedattheportrait——frowned,andputoutherunderlip;thenwentandsatdownonthesofawithfoldedhands。
Mrs。Epanchinrangthebell。
"AskGavrilaArdalionovitchtostepthisway,"saidshetothemanwhoanswered。
"Mamma!"criedAlexandra,significantly。
"Ishalljustsaytwowordstohim,that’sall,"saidhermother,silencingallobjectionbyhermanner;shewasevidentlyseriouslyputout。"Yousee,prince,itisallsecretswithus,justnow——allsecrets。Itseemstobetheetiquetteofthehouse,forsomereasonor,other。Stupidnonsense,andinamatterwhichoughttobeapproachedwithallcandourandopen-
heartedness。Thereisamarriagebeingtalkedof,andIdon’tlikethismarriage——"
"Mamma,whatareyousaying?"saidAlexandraagain,hurriedly。
"Well,what,mydeargirl?Asifyoucanpossiblylikeityourself?Theheartisthegreatthing,andtherestisallrubbish——thoughonemusthavesenseaswell。Perhapssenseisreallythegreatthing。Don’tsmilelikethat,Aglaya。Idon’tcontradictmyself。Afoolwithaheartandnobrainsisjustasunhappyasafoolwithbrainsandnoheart。Iamoneandyouaretheother,andthereforebothofussuffer,bothofusareunhappy。"
"Whyareyousounhappy,mother?"askedAdelaida,whoaloneofallthecompanyseemedtohavepreservedhergoodtemperandspiritsuptonow。
"Inthefirstplace,becauseofmycarefullybrought-updaughters,"saidMrs。Epanchin,cuttingly;"andasthatisthebestreasonIcangiveyouweneednotbotheraboutanyotheratpresent。Enoughofwords,now!WeshallseehowbothofyouI
don’tcountAglayawillmanageyourbusiness,andwhetheryou,mostreveredAlexandraIvanovna,willbehappywithyourfinemate。"
"Ah!"sheadded,asGaniasuddenlyenteredtheroom,"here’sanothermarryingsubject。Howdoyoudo?"shecontinued,inresponsetoGania’sbow;butshedidnotinvitehimtositdown。
"Youaregoingtobemarried?"
"Married?how——whatmarriage?"murmuredGania,overwhelmedwithconfusion。
"Areyouabouttotakeawife?Iask,——ifyoupreferthatexpression。"
"No,noI-I——no!"saidGania,bringingouthisliewithatell-
taleblushofshame。HeglancedkeenlyatAglaya,whowassittingsomewayoff,anddroppedhiseyesimmediately。
Aglayagazedcoldly,intently,andcomposedlyathim,withouttakinghereyesoffhisface,andwatchedhisconfusion。
"No?Yousayno,doyou?"continuedthepitilessMrs。General。
"Verywell,IshallrememberthatyoutoldmethisWednesdaymorning,inanswertomyquestion,thatyouarenotgoingtobemarried。Whatdayisit,Wednesday,isn’tit?"
"Yes,Ithinkso!"saidAdelaida。
"Youneverknowthedayoftheweek;what’sthedayofthemonth?"
"Twenty-seventh!"saidGania。
"Twenty-seventh;verywell。Good-byenow;youhaveagooddealtodo,I’msure,andImustdressandgoout。Takeyourportrait。
Givemyrespectstoyourunfortunatemother,NinaAlexandrovna。
Aurevoir,dearprince,comeinandseeusoften,do;andIshalltelloldPrincessBielokonskiaboutyou。Ishallgoandseeheronpurpose。Andlisten,mydearboy,IfeelsurethatGodhassentyoutoPetersburgfromSwitzerlandonpurposeforme。Maybeyouwillhaveotherthingstodo,besides,butyouaresentchieflyformysake,Ifeelsureofit。Godsentyoutome!Aurevoir!Alexandra,comewithme,mydear。"
Mrs。Epanchinlefttheroom。
Gania——confused,annoyed,furious——tookuphisportrait,andturnedtotheprincewithanastysmileonhisface。
"Prince,"hesaid,"Iamjustgoinghome。Ifyouhavenotchangedyourmindastolivingwithus,perhapsyouwouldliketocomewithme。Youdon’tknowtheaddress,Ibelieve?"
"Waitaminute,prince,"saidAglaya,suddenlyrisingfromherseat,"dowritesomethinginmyalbumfirst,willyou?Fathersaysyouareamosttalentedcaligraphist;I’llbringyoumybookinaminute。"Shelefttheroom。
"Well,aurevoir,prince,"saidAdelaida,"Imustbegoingtoo。"
Shepressedtheprince’shandwarmly,andgavehimafriendlysmileasshelefttheroom。ShedidnotsomuchaslookatGania。
"Thisisyourdoing,prince,"saidGania,turningonthelattersosoonastheotherswerealloutoftheroom。"Thisisyourdoing,sir!YOUhavebeentellingthemthatIamgoingtobemarried!"Hesaidthisinahurriedwhisper,hiseyesflashingwithrageandhisfaceablaze。"Youshamelesstattler!"
"Iassureyou,youareunderadelusion,"saidtheprince,calmlyandpolitely。"Ididnotevenknowthatyouweretobemarried。"
"Youheardmetalkingaboutit,thegeneralandme。YouheardmesaythateverythingwastobesettledtodayatNastasiaPhilipovna’s,andyouwentandblurteditouthere。Youlieifyoudenyit。WhoelsecouldhavetoldthemDeviltakeit,sir,whocouldhavetoldthemexceptyourself?Didn’ttheoldwomanasgoodashintasmuchtome?"
"Ifshehintedtoyouwhotoldheryoumustknowbest,ofcourse;
butIneversaidawordaboutit。"
"Didyougivemynote?Isthereananswer?"interruptedGania,impatiently。
ButatthismomentAglayacameback,andtheprincehadnotimetoreply。
"There,prince,"saidshe,"there’smyalbum。Nowchooseapageandwritemesomething,willyou?There’sapen,anewone;doyoumindasteelone?Ihaveheardthatyoucaligraphistsdon’tlikesteelpens。"
Conversingwiththeprince,AglayadidnotevenseemtonoticethatGaniawasintheroom。Butwhiletheprincewasgettinghispenready,findingapage,andmakinghispreparationstowrite,GaniacameuptothefireplacewhereAglayawasstanding,totherightoftheprince,andintrembling,brokenaccentssaid,almostinherear:
"Oneword,justonewordfromyou,andI’msaved。"
Theprinceturnedsharplyroundandlookedatbothofthem。
Gania’sfacewasfullofrealdespair;heseemedtohavesaidthewordsalmostunconsciouslyandontheimpulseofthemoment。
Aglayagazedathimforsomesecondswithpreciselythesamecomposureandcalmastonishmentasshehadshownalittlewhilebefore,whentheprincehandedherthenote,anditappearedthatthiscalmsurpriseandseeminglyabsoluteincomprehensionofwhatwassaidtoher,weremoreterriblyoverwhelmingtoGaniathaneventhemostplainlyexpresseddisdainwouldhavebeen。
"WhatshallIwrite?"askedtheprince。
"I’lldictatetoyou,"saidAglaya,cominguptothetable。"Nowthen,areyouready?Write,’Inevercondescendtobargain!’Nowputyournameandthedate。Letmeseeit。"
Theprincehandedherthealbum。
"Capital!Howbeautifullyyouhavewrittenit!Thankssomuch。Aurevoir,prince。Waitaminute,";sheadded,"Iwanttogiveyousomethingforakeepsake。Comewithmethisway,willyou?"
Theprincefollowedher。Arrivedatthedining-room,shestopped。
"Readthis,"shesaid,handinghimGania’snote。
Theprincetookitfromherhand,butgazedatherinbewilderment。
"Oh!IKNOWyouhaven’treadit,andthatyoucouldneverbethatman’saccomplice。Readit,Iwishyoutoreadit。"
Theletterhadevidentlybeenwritteninahurry:
"Myfateistobedecidedtoday"itran,"youknowhow。ThisdayImustgivemywordirrevocably。Ihavenorighttoaskyourhelp,andIdarenotallowmyselftoindulgeinanyhopes;butonceyousaidjustoneword,andthatwordlightedupthenightofmylife,andbecamethebeaconofmydays。Sayonemoresuchword,andsavemefromutterruin。Onlytellme,’breakoffthewholething!’andIwilldosothisveryday。Oh!whatcanitcostyoutosayjustthisoneword?Indoingsoyouwillbutbegivingmeasignofyoursympathyforme,andofyourpity;onlythis,onlythis;nothingmore,NOTHING。Idarenotindulgeinanyhope,becauseIamunworthyofit。Butifyousaybutthisword,Iwilltakeupmycrossagainwithjoy,andreturnoncemoretomybattlewithpoverty。Ishallmeetthestormandbegladofit;
Ishallriseupwithrenewedstrength。
"Sendmebackthenthisonewordofsympathy,onlysympathy,I
sweartoyou;andoh!donotbeangrywiththeaudacityofdespair,withthedrowningmanwhohasdaredtomakethislastefforttosavehimselffromperishingbeneaththewaters。
"G。L。"
"Thismanassuresme,"saidAglaya,scornfully,whentheprincehadfinishedreadingtheletter,"thatthewords’breakoffeverything’donotcommitmetoanythingwhatever;andhimselfgivesmeawrittenguaranteetothateffect,inthisletter。
第3章