"Whatcanwedointhedark?"
"Wecantalk。"
Wewerefour;forthelastthreehourswehadbeentalking,andIwastheherooftheromance。Loveisagreatpoet,itsresourcesareinexhaustible,butiftheendithasinviewisnotobtained,itfeelswearyandremainssilent。MyAngelalistenedwillingly,butlittledisposedtotalkherself,sheseldomanswered,andshedisplayedgoodsenseratherthanwit。Toweakentheforceofmyarguments,shewasoftensatisfiedwithhurlingatmeaproverb,somewhatinthefashionoftheRomansthrowingthecatapult。Everytimethatmypoorhandscametotheassistanceoflove,shedrewherselfbackorrepulsedme。Yet,inspiteofall,Iwentontalkingandusingmyhandswithoutlosingcourage,butIgavemyselfuptodespairwhenIfoundthatmyratherartfularguingastoundedherwithoutbringingconvictiontoherheart,whichwasonlydisquieted,neversoftened。Ontheotherhand,IcouldseewithastonishmentupontheircountenancestheimpressionmadeuponthetwosistersbytheardentspeechesIpouredouttoAngela。Thismetaphysicalcurvestruckmeasunnatural,itoughttohavebeenanangle;Iwasthen,unhappilyformyself,studyinggeometry。Iwasinsuchastatethat,notwithstandingthecold,Iwasperspiringprofusely。Atlastthelightwasnearlyout,andNanettetookitaway。
Themomentwewereinthedark,IverynaturallyextendedmyarmstoseizeherwhomIloved;butIonlymetwithemptyspace,andIcouldnothelplaughingattherapiditywithwhichAngelahadavailedherselfoftheopportunityofescapingme。ForonefullhourI
pouredoutallthetender,cheerfulwordsthatloveinspiredmewith,topersuadehertocomebacktome;Icouldonlysupposethatitwasajoketoteaseme。ButIbecameimpatient。
"Thejoke,"Isaid,"haslastedlongenough;itisfoolish,asI
couldnotrunafteryou,andIamsurprisedtohearyoulaugh,foryourstrangeconductleadsmetosupposethatyouaremakingfunofme。Comeandtakeyourseatnearme,andifImustspeaktoyouwithoutseeingyouletmyhandsassuremethatIamnotaddressingmywordstotheemptyair。Tocontinuethisgamewouldbeaninsulttome,andmylovedoesnotdeservesuchareturn。"
"Well,becalm。Iwilllistentoeverywordyoumaysay,butyoumustfeelthatitwouldnotbedecentformetoplacemyselfnearyouinthisdarkroom。"
"DoyouwantmetostandwhereIamuntilmorning?"
"Liedownonthebed,andgotosleep。"
"Inwonder,indeed,atyourthinkingmecapableofdoingsointhestateIamin。Well,Isupposewemustplayatblindman’sbuff。"
Thereupon,Ibegantofeelrightandleft,everywhere,butinvain。
WheneverIcaughtanyoneitalwaysturnedouttobeNanetteorMarton,whoatoncediscoveredthemselves,andI,stupidDonQuixote,instantlywouldletthemgo!Loveandprejudiceblindedme,IcouldnotseehowridiculousIwaswithmyrespectfulreserve。IhadnotyetreadtheanecdotesofLouisXIII,kingofFrance,butIhadreadBoccacio。Ikeptonseekinginvain,reproachingherwithhercruelty,andentreatinghertoletmecatchher;butshewouldonlyanswerthatthedifficultyofmeetingeachotherwasmutual。Theroomwasnotlarge,andIwasenragedatmywantofsuccess。
Tiredandstillmorevexed,Isatdown,andforthenexthourItoldthehistoryofRoger,whenAngelicadisappearsthroughthepowerofthemagicringwhichthelovingknighthadsoimprudentlygivenher:
’Cosidicendo,intornoalafortunaBrancolandon’andavacomecieco。
Oquantevolteabbracciol’ariavanaSpeyandoladonzellaabbracciarseco’。
AngelahadnotreadAriosto,butNanettehaddonesoseveraltimes。
SheundertookthedefenceofAngelica,andblamedthesimplicityofRoger,who,ifhehadbeenwise,wouldneverhavetrustedtheringtoacoquette。IwasdelightedwithNanette,butIwasyettoomuchofanovicetoapplyherremarkstomyself。
Onlyonemorehourremained,andIwastoleavebeforethebreakofday,forMadameOriowouldhavediedratherthangivewaytothetemptationofmissingtheearlymass。DuringthathourIspoketoAngela,tryingtoconvinceherthatsheoughttocomeandsitbyme。
Mysoulwentthrougheverygradationofhopeanddespair,andthereadercannotpossiblyrealizeitunlesshehasbeenplacedinasimilarposition。Iexhaustedthemostconvincingarguments;thenI
hadrecoursetoprayers,andeventotears;but,seeingallwasuseless,Igavewaytothatfeelingofnobleindignationwhichlendsdignitytoanger。HadInotbeeninthedark,Imight,Itrulybelieve,havestrucktheproudmonster,thecruelgirl,whohadthusforfivehourscondemnedmetothemostdistressingsuffering。I
pouredoutalltheabuse,alltheinsultingwordsthatdespisedlovecansuggesttoaninfuriatedmind;Iloadedherwiththedeepestcurses;Isworethatmylovehadentirelyturnedintohatred,and,asafinale,Iadvisedhertobecareful,asIwouldkillherthemomentIwouldsetmyeyesonher。
Myinvectivescametoanendwiththedarkness。Atthefirstbreakofday,andassoonasIheardthenoisemadebytheboltandthekeyofthestreetdoor,whichMadameOriowasopeningtoletherselfout,thatshemightseekinthechurchthereposeofwhichherpioussoulwasinneed,Igotmyselfreadyandlookedformycloakandformyhat。ButhowcanIeverportraytheconsternationinwhichIwasthrownwhen,castingaslyglanceupontheyoungfriends,Ifoundthethreebathedintears!InmyshameanddespairIthoughtofcommittingsuicide,andsittingdownagain,Irecollectedmybrutalspeeches,andupbraidedmyselfforhavingwantonlycausedthemtoweep。Icouldnotsayoneword;Ifeltchoking;atlasttearscametomyassistance,andIgavewaytoafitofcryingwhichrelievedme。Nanettethenremarkedthatherauntwouldsoonreturnhome;I
driedmyeyes,and,notventuringanotherlookatAngelaoratherfriends,Iranawaywithoututteringaword,andthrewmyselfonmybed,wheresleepwouldnotvisitmytroubledmind。
Atnoon,M。deMalipiero,noticingthechangeinmycountenance,enquiredwhatailedme,andlongingtounburdenmyheart,Itoldhimallthathadhappened。Thewiseoldmandidnotlaughatmysorrow,butbyhissensibleadvicehemanagedtoconsolemeandtogivemecourage。HewasinthesamepredicamentwiththebeautifulTherese。
Yethecouldnothelpgivingwaytohismerrimentwhenatdinnerhesawme,inspiteofmygrief,eatwithincreasedappetite;Ihadgonewithoutmysupperthenightbefore;hecomplimentedmeuponmyhappyconstitution。
IwasdeterminednevertovisitMadameOrio’shouse,andonthatverydayIheldanargumentinmetaphysics,inwhichIcontendedthatanybeingofwhomwehadonlyanabstractidea,couldonlyexistabstractedly,andIwasright;butitwasaveryeasytasktogivetomythesisanirreligiousturn,andIwasobligedtorecant。AfewdaysafterwardsIwenttoPadua,whereItookmydegreeofdoctor’utroquejure’。
WhenIreturnedtoVenice,IreceivedanotefromM。Rosa,whoentreatedmetocalluponMadameOrio;shewishedtoseeme,and,feelingcertainofnotmeetingAngela,Ipaidheravisitthesameevening。Thetwogracefulsistersweresokind,sopleasant,thattheyscatteredtothewindstheshameIfeltatseeingthemafterthefearfulnightIhadpassedintheirroomtwomonthsbefore。ThelaboursofwritingmythesisandpassingmyexaminationwereofcoursesufficientexcusesforMadameOrio,whoonlywantedtoreproachmeforhavingremainedsolongawayfromherhouse。
AsIleft,NanettegavemealettercontaininganotefromAngela,thecontentsofwhichranasfollows:
"Ifyouarenotafraidofpassinganothernightwithmeyoushallhavenoreasontocomplainofme,forIloveyou,andIwishtohearfromyourownlipswhetheryouwouldstillhavelovedmeifIhadconsentedtobecomecontemptibleinyoureyes。"
ThisistheletterofNanette,whoalonehadherwitsabouther:
"M。Rosahavingundertakentobringyoubacktoourhouse,IpreparethesefewlinestoletyouknowthatAngelaisindespairathavinglostyou。Iconfessthatthenightyouspentwithuswasacruelone,butIdonotthinkthatyoudidrightlyingivingupyourvisitstoMadameOrio。IfyoustillfeelanyloveforAngela,Iadviseyoutotakeyourchancesoncemore。Acceptarendezvousforanothernight;shemayvindicateherself,andyouwillbehappy。Believeme;
come。Farewell!"
Thosetwolettersaffordedmemuchgratification,forIhaditinmypowertoenjoymyrevengebyshewingtoAngelathecoldestcontempt。
Therefore,onthefollowingSundayIwenttoMadameOrio’shouse,havingprovidedmyselfwithasmokedtongueandacoupleofbottlesofCypruswine;buttomygreatsurprisemycruelmistresswasnotthere。Nanettetoldmethatshehadmetheratchurchinthemorning,andthatshewouldnotbeabletocomebeforesupper—time。
TrustingtothatpromiseIdeclinedMadamOrio’sinvitation,andbeforethefamilysatdowntosupperIlefttheroomasIhaddoneontheformeroccasion,andslippedupstairs。IlongedtorepresentthecharacterIhadpreparedmyselffor,andfeelingassuredthatAngela,evenifsheshouldprovelesscruel,wouldonlygrantmeinsignificantfavours,Idespisedtheminanticipation,andresolvedtobeavenged。
Afterwaitingthreequartersofanhourthestreetdoorwaslocked,andamomentlaterNanetteandMartonenteredtheroom。
"WhereisAngela?"Ienquired。
"Shemusthavebeenunabletocome,ortosendamessage。Yetsheknowsyouarehere。"
"Shethinksshehasmadeafoolofme;butIsuspectedshewouldactinthisway。Youknowhernow。Sheistriflingwithme,andverylikelysheisnowrevellinginhertriumph。Shehasmadeuseofyoutoalluremeinthesnare,anditisallthebetterforher;hadshecome,Imeanttohavehadmyturn,andtohavelaughedather。"
"Ah!youmustallowmetohavemydoubtsastothat。"
"Doubtmenot,beautifulNanette;thepleasantnightwearegoingtospendwithouthermustconvinceyou。"
"Thatistosaythat,asamanofsense,youcanacceptusasamakeshift;butyoucansleephere,andmysistercanliewithmeonthesofainthenextroom。"
"Icannothinderyou,butitwouldbegreatunkindnessonyourpart。
Atallevents,Idonotintendtogotobed。"
"What!youwouldhavethecouragetospendsevenhoursalonewithus?
Why,Iamcertainthatinashorttimeyouwillbeatalosswhattosay,andyouwillfallasleep。"
"Well,weshallsee。Inthemean—timehereareprovisions。Youwillnotbesocruelastoletmeeatalone?Canyougetanybread?"
"Yes,andtopleaseyouwemusthaveasecondsupper。"
"Ioughttobeinlovewithyou。Tellme,beautifulNanette,ifI
wereasmuchattachedtoyouasIwastoAngela,wouldyoufollowherexampleandmakemeunhappy?"
"Howcanyouasksuchaquestion?Itisworthyofaconceitedman。
AllIcanansweris,thatIdonotknowwhatIwoulddo。"
Theylaidthecloth,broughtsomebread,someParmesancheeseandwater,laughingallthewhile,andthenwewenttowork。Thewine,towhichtheywerenotaccustomed,wenttotheirheads,andtheirgaietywassoondelightful。Iwondered,asIlookedatthem,atmyhavingbeenblindenoughnottoseetheirmerit。
Afteroursupper,whichwasdelicious,Isatbetweenthem,holdingtheirhands,whichIpressedtomylips,askingthemwhethertheyweretrulymyfriends,andwhethertheyapprovedofAngela’sconducttowardsme。Theybothansweredthatithadmadethemshedmanytears。"Thenletme,"Isaid,"haveforyouthetenderfeelingsofabrother,andsharethosefeelingsyourselvesasifyouweremysisters;letusexchange,inallinnocence,proofsofourmutualaffection,andsweartoeachotheraneternalfidelity。"
ThefirstkissIgavethemwaspromptedbyentirelyharmlessmotives,andtheyreturnedthekiss,astheyassuredmeafewdaysafterwardsonlytoprovetomethattheyreciprocatedmybrotherlyfeelings;butthoseinnocentkisses,aswerepeatedthem,verysoonbecameardentones,andkindledaflamewhichcertainlytookusbysurprise,forwestopped,asbycommonconsent,afterashorttime,lookingateachotherverymuchastonishedandratherserious。Theybothleftmewithoutaffectation,andIremainedalonewithmythoughts。Indeed,itwasnaturalthattheburningkissesIhadgivenandreceivedshouldhavesentthroughmethefireofpassion,andthatIshouldsuddenlyhavefallenmadlyinlovewiththetwoamiablesisters。
BothwerehandsomerthanAngela,andtheyweresuperiortoher——
Nanettebyhercharmingwit,Martonbyhersweetandsimplenature;I
couldnotunderstandhowIhadbeensolonginrenderingthemthejusticetheydeserved,buttheyweretheinnocentdaughtersofanoblefamily,andtheluckychancewhichhadthrowntheminmywayoughtnottoproveacalamityforthem。Iwasnotvainenoughtosupposethattheylovedme,butIcouldwellenoughadmitthatmykisseshadinfluencedtheminthesamemannerthattheirkisseshadinfluencedme,and,believingthistobethecase,itwasevidentthat,withalittlecunningonmypart,andofslypracticesofwhichtheywereignorant,Icouldeasily,duringthelongnightIwasgoingtospendwiththem,obtainfavours,theconsequencesofwhichmightbeverypositive。Theverythoughtmademeshudder,andIfirmlyresolvedtorespecttheirvirtue,neverdreamingthatcircumstancesmightprovetoostrongforme。
Whentheyreturned,Ireadupontheircountenancesperfectsecurityandsatisfaction,andIquicklyputonthesameappearance,withafulldeterminationnottoexposemyselfagaintothedangeroftheirkisses。
ForonehourwespokeofAngela,andIexpressedmydeterminationnevertoseeheragain,asIhadeveryproofthatshedidnotcareforme。"Shelovesyou,"saidtheartlessMarton;"Iknowshedoes,butifyoudonotmeantomarryher,youwilldowelltogiveupallintercoursewithher,forsheisquitedeterminednottograntyouevenakissaslongasyouarenotheracknowledgedsuitor。Youmustthereforeeithergiveuptheacquaintancealtogether,ormakeupyourmindthatshewillrefuseyoueverything。"
"Youargueverywell,buthowdoyouknowthatshelovesme?"
"Iamquitesureofit,andasyouhavepromisedtobeourbrother,I
cantellyouwhyIhavethatconviction。WhenAngelaisinbedwithme,sheembracesmelovinglyandcallsmeherdearabbe。"
ThewordswerescarcelyspokenwhenNanette,laughingheartily,placedherhandonhersister’slips,buttheinnocentconfessionhadsuchaneffectuponmethatIcouldhardlycontrolmyself。
MartontoldNanettethatIcouldnotpossiblybeignorantofwhattakesplacebetweenyounggirlssleepingtogether。
"Thereisnodoubt,"Isaid,"thateverybodyknowsthosetrifles,andIdonotthink,dearNanette,thatyououghttoreproachyoursisterwithindiscretionforherfriendlyconfidence。"
"Itcannotbehelpednow,butsuchthingsoughtnottobementioned。
IfAngelaknewit!"
"Shewouldbevexed,ofcourse;butMartonhasgivenmeamarkofherfriendshipwhichInevercanforget。Butitisallover;IhateAngela,andIdonotmeantospeaktoheranymore!sheisfalse,andshewishesmyruin。"
"Yet,lovingyou,isshewrongtothinkofhavingyouforherhusband?"
"Grantedthatsheisnot;butshethinksonlyofherownself,forsheknowswhatIsuffer,andherconductwouldbeverydifferentifshelovedme。Inthemeantime,thankstoherimagination,shefindsthemeansofsatisfyinghersenseswiththecharmingMartonwhokindlyperformsthepartofherhusband。"
Nanettelaughedlouder,butIkeptveryserious,andIwentontalkingtohersister,andpraisinghersincerity。Isaidthatverylikely,andtoreciprocateherkindness,Angelamustlikewisehavebeenherhusband,butsheanswered,withasmile,thatAngelaplayedhusbandonlytoNanette,andNanettecouldnotdenyit。
"But,"saidI,"whatnamedidNanette,inherrapture,givetoherhusband?"
"Nobodyknows。"
"Doyouloveanyone,Nanette?"
"Ido;butmysecretismyown。"
ThisreservegavemethesuspicionthatIhadsomethingtodowithhersecret,andthatNanettewastherivalofAngela。Suchadelightfulconversationcausedmetolosethewishofpassinganidlenightwithtwogirlssowellmadeforlove。
"Itisverylucky,"Iexclaimed,"thatIhaveforyouonlyfeelingsoffriendship;otherwiseitwouldbeveryhardtopassthenightwithoutgivingwaytothetemptationofbestowinguponyouproofsofmyaffection,foryouarebothsolovely,sobewitching,thatyouwouldturnthebrainsofanyman。"
AsIwentontalking,Ipretendedtobesomewhatsleepy;Nanettebeingthefirsttonoticeit,said,"Gotobedwithoutanyceremony,wewillliedownonthesofaintheadjoiningroom。"
"Iwouldbeaverypoor—spiritedfellowindeed,ifIagreedtothis;
letustalk;mysleepinesswillsoonpassoff,butIamanxiousaboutyou。Gotobedyourselves,mycharmingfriends,andIwillgointothenextroom。Ifyouareafraidofme,lockthedoor,butyouwoulddomeaninjustice,forIfeelonlyabrother’syearningstowardsyou。"
"Wecannotacceptsuchanarrangement,"saidNanette,"butletmepersuadeyou;takethisbed。"
"Icannotsleepwithmyclotheson。"
"Undressyourself;wewillnotlookatyou。"
"Ihavenofearofit,buthowcouldIfindthehearttosleep,whileonmyaccountyouarecompelledtositup?"
"Well,"saidMarton,"wecanliedown,too,withoutundressing。"
"Ifyoushewmesuchdistrust,youwilloffendme。Tellme,Nanette,doyouthinkIamanhonestman?"
"Mostcertainly。"
"Well,then,givemeaproofofyourgoodopinion;liedownnearmeinthebed,undressed,andrelyonmywordofhonourthatIwillnotevenlayafingeruponyou。Besides,youaretwoagainstone,whatcanyoufear?WillyounotbefreetogetoutofthebedincaseI
shouldnotkeepquiet?Inshort,unlessyouconsenttogivemethismarkofyourconfidenceinme,atleastwhenIhavefallenasleep,I
cannotgotobed。"
Isaidnomore,andpretendedtobeverysleepy。Theyexchangedafewwords,whisperingtoeachother,andMartontoldmetogotobed,thattheywouldfollowmeassoonasIwasasleep。Nanettemademethesamepromise,Iturnedmybacktothem,undressedmyselfquickly,andwishingthemgoodnight,Iwenttobed。Iimmediatelypretendedtofallasleep,butsoonIdozedingoodearnest,andonlywokewhentheycametobed。Then,turningroundasifIwishedtoresumemyslumbers,IremainedveryquietuntilIcouldsupposethemfastasleep;atallevents,iftheydidnotsleep,theywereatlibertytopretendtodoso。Theirbacksweretowardsme,andthelightwasout;thereforeIcouldonlyactatrandom,andIpaidmyfirstcomplimentstotheonewhowaslyingonmyright,notknowingwhethershewasNanetteorMarton。Ifindherbentintwo,andwrappedupintheonlygarmentshehadkepton。Takingmytime,andsparinghermodesty,Icompelherbydegreestoacknowledgeherdefeat,andconvinceherthatitisbettertofeignsleepandtoletmeproceed。
Hernaturalinstinctssoonworkinginconcertwithmine,Ireachthegoal;andmyefforts,crownedwiththemostcompletesuccess,leavemenottheshadowofadoubtthatIhavegatheredthosefirst—fruitstowhichourprejudicemakesusattachsogreatanimportance。
Enrapturedathavingenjoyedmymanhoodcompletelyandforthefirsttime,Iquietlyleavemybeautyinordertodohomagetotheothersister。Ifindhermotionless,lyingonherbacklikeapersonwrappedinprofoundandundisturbedslumber。Carefullymanagingmyadvance,asifIwereafraidofwakingherup,Ibeginbygentlygratifyinghersenses,andIascertainthedelightfulfactthat,likehersister,sheisstillinpossessionofhermaidenhood。Assoonasanaturalmovementprovestomethatloveacceptstheoffering,I
takemymeasurestoconsummatethesacrifice。Atthatmoment,givingwaysuddenlytotheviolenceofherfeelings,andtiredofherassumeddissimulation,shewarmlylocksmeinherarmsattheveryinstantofthevoluptuouscrisis,smothersmewithkisses,sharesmyraptures,andloveblendsoursoulsinthemostecstaticenjoyment。
GuessinghertobeNanette,Iwhisperhername。
"Yes,IamNanette,"sheanswers;"andIdeclaremyselfhappy,aswellasmysister,ifyouproveyourselftrueandfaithful。"
"Untildeath,mybelovedones,andaseverythingwehavedoneistheworkoflove,donotletusevermentionthenameofAngela。"
Afterthis,Ibeggedthatshewouldgiveusalight;butMarton,alwayskindandobliging,gotoutofbedleavingusalone。WhenI
sawNanetteinmyarms,beamingwithlove,andMartonnearthebed,holdingacandle,withhereyesreproachinguswithingratitudebecausewedidnotspeaktoher,who,byacceptingmyfirstcaresses,hadencouragedhersistertofollowherexample,Irealizedallmyhappiness。
"Letusgetup,mydarlings,"saidI,"andsweartoeachothereternalaffection。"
Whenwehadrisenweperformed,allthreetogether,ablutionswhichmadethemlaughagooddeal,andwhichgaveanewimpetustotheardourofourfeelings。Sittingupinthesimplecostumeofnature,weatetheremainsofoursupper,exchangingthosethousandtriflingwordswhichlovealonecanunderstand,andweagainretiredtoourbed,wherewespentamostdelightfulnightgivingeachothermutualandoft—repeatedproofsofourpassionateardour。Nanettewastherecipientofmylastbounties,forMadameOriohavingleftthehousetogotochurch,Ihadtohastenmydeparture,afterassuringthetwolovelysistersthattheyhadeffectuallyextinguishedwhateverflamemightstillhaveflickeredinmyheartforAngela。Iwenthomeandsleptsoundlyuntildinner—time。
M。deMalipieropassedaremarkuponmycheerfullooksandthedarkcirclesaroundmyeyes,butIkeptmyowncounsel,andIallowedhimtothinkwhateverhepleased。OnthefollowingdayIpaidavisittoMadameOrio,andAngelanotbeingoftheparty,IremainedtosupperandretiredwithM。Rosa。DuringtheeveningNanettecontrivedtogivemealetterandasmallparcel。Theparcelcontainedasmalllumpofwaxwiththestampofakey,andthelettertoldmetohaveakeymade,andtouseittoenterthehousewheneverIwishedtospendthenightwiththem。SheinformedmeatthesametimethatAngelahadsleptwiththemthenightfollowingouradventures,andthat,thankstotheirmutualandusualpractices,shehadguessedtherealstateofthings,thattheyhadnotdeniedit,addingthatitwasallherfault,andthatAngela,afterabusingthemmostvehemently,hadswornneveragaintodarkentheirdoors;buttheydidnotcareajot。
AfewdaysafterwardsourgoodfortunedeliveredusfromAngela;shewastakentoVicenzabyherfather,whohadremovedthereforacoupleofyears,havingbeenengagedtopaintfrescoesinsomehousesinthatcity。Thankstoherabsence,Ifoundmyselfundisturbedpossessorofthetwocharmingsisters,withwhomIspentatleasttwonightseveryweek,findingnodifficultyinenteringthehousewiththekeywhichIhadspeedilyprocured。
Carnivalwasnearlyover,whenM。ManzoniinformedmeonedaythatthecelebratedJuliettewishedtoseeme,andregrettedmuchthatI
hadceasedtovisither。Ifeltcuriousastowhatshehadtosaytome,andaccompaniedhimtoherhouse。Shereceivedmeverypolitely,andremarkingthatshehadheardofalargehallIhadinmyhouse,shesaidshewouldliketogiveaballthere,ifIwouldgivehertheuseofit。Ireadilyconsented,andshehandedmetwenty—foursequinsforthesupperandfortheband,undertakingtosendpeopletoplacechandeliersinthehallandinmyotherrooms。
M。deSanvitalihadleftVenice,andtheParmesangovernmenthadplacedhisestatesinchanceryinconsequenceofhisextravagantexpenditure。ImethimatVersaillestenyearsafterwards。Heworetheinsigniaoftheking’sorderofknighthood,andwasgrandequerrytotheeldestdaughterofLouisXV。,DuchessofParma,who,likealltheFrenchprincesses,couldnotbereconciledtotheclimateofItaly。
Theballtookplace,andwentoffsplendidly。AlltheguestsbelongedtoJuliette’sset,withtheexceptionofMadameOrio,hernieces,andtheprocuratorRosa,whosattogetherintheroomadjoiningthehall,andwhomIhadbeenpermittedtointroduceaspersonsofnoconsequencewhatever。
Whiletheafter—supperminuetswerebeingdancedJuliettetookmeapart,andsaid,"Takemetoyourbedroom;Ihavejustgotanamusingidea。"
Myroomwasonthethirdstory;Ishewedhertheway。Themomentweenteredsheboltedthedoor,muchtomysurprise。"Iwishyou,"shesaid,"todressmeupinyourecclesiasticalclothes,andIwilldisguiseyouasawomanwithmyownthings。Wewillgodownanddancetogether。Come,letusfirstdressourhair。"
Feelingsureofsomethingpleasanttocome,anddelightedwithsuchanunusualadventure,Ilosenotimeinarrangingherhair,andIletherafterwardsdressmine。Sheappliesrougeandafewbeautyspotstomyface;Ihumourherineverything,andtoprovehersatisfaction,shegivesmewiththebestofgraceaverylovingkiss,onconditionthatIdonotaskforanythingelse。
"Asyouplease,beautifulJuliette,butIgiveyouduenoticethatI
adoreyou!"
Iplaceuponmybedashirt,anabbe’sneckband,apairofdrawers,blacksilkstockings——infact,acompletefit—out。Comingnearthebed,Juliettedropsherskirt,andcleverlygetsintothedrawers,whichwerenotabadfit,butwhenshecomestothebreechesthereissomedifficulty;thewaistbandistoonarrow,andtheonlyremedyistoripitbehindortocutit,ifnecessary。Iundertaketomakeeverythingright,and,asIsitonthefootofmybed,sheplacesherselfinfrontofme,withherbacktowardsme。Ibeginmywork,butshethinksthatIwanttoseetoomuch,thatIamnotskilfulenough,andthatmyfingerswanderinunnecessaryplaces;shegetsfidgety,leavesme,tearsthebreeches,andmanagesinherownway。
ThenIhelphertoputhershoeson,andIpasstheshirtoverherhead,butasIamdisposingtheruffleandtheneck—band,shecomplainsofmyhandsbeingtoocurious;andintruth,herbosomwasratherscanty。Shecallsmeaknaveandrascal,butItakenonoticeofher。Iwasnotgoingtobeduped,andIthoughtthatawomanwhohadbeenpaidonehundredthousandducatswaswellworthsomestudy。
Atlast,hertoiletbeingcompleted,myturncomes。InspiteofherobjectionsIquicklygetridofmybreeches,andshemustputonmethechemise,thenaskirt,inawordshehastodressmeup。Butallatonce,playingthecoquette,shegetsangrybecauseIdonotconcealfromherlookstheveryapparentproofthathercharmshavesomeeffectonaparticularpartofmybeing,andsherefusestograntmethefavourwhichwouldsoonaffordbothreliefandcalm。I
trytokissher,andsherepulsesme,whereuponIlosepatience,andinspiteofherselfshehastowitnessthelaststageofmyexcitement。Atthesightofthis,shepoursouteveryinsultingwordshecanthinkof;Iendeavourtoprovethatsheistoblame,butitisallinvain。
However,sheiscompelledtocompletemydisguise。Thereisnodoubtthatanhonestwomanwouldnothaveexposedherselftosuchanadventure,unlessshehadintendedtoprovehertenderfeelings,andthatshewouldnothavedrawnbackattheverymomentshesawthemsharedbyhercompanion;butwomenlikeJulietteareoftenguidedbyaspiritofcontradictionwhichcausesthemtoactagainsttheirowninterests。Besides,shefeltdisappointedwhenshefoundoutthatI
wasnottimid,andmywantofrestraintappearedtoherawantofrespect。Shewouldnothaveobjectedtomystealingafewlightfavourswhichshewouldhaveallowedmetotake,asbeingofnoimportance,but,bydoingthat,Ishouldhaveflatteredhervanitytoohighly。
Ourdisguisebeingcomplete,wewenttogethertothedancing—hall,wheretheenthusiasticapplauseoftheguestssoonrestoredourgoodtemper。EverybodygavemecreditforapieceoffortunewhichIhadnotenjoyed,butIwasnotill—pleasedwiththerumour,andwentondancingwiththefalseabbe,whowasonlytoocharming。JuliettetreatedmesowellduringthenightthatIconstruedhermannerstowardsmeintosomesortofrepentance,andIalmostregrettedwhathadtakenplacebetweenus;itwasamomentaryweaknessforwhichI
wassorelypunished。
Attheendofthequadrilleallthementhoughttheyhadarighttotakelibertieswiththeabbe,andIbecamemyselfratherfreewiththeyounggirls,whowouldhavebeenafraidofexposingthemselvestoridiculehadtheyofferedanyoppositiontomycaresses。
M。QueriniwasfoolishenoughtoenquirefrommewhetherIhadkeptonmybreeches,andasIansweredthatIhadbeencompelledtolendthemtoJuliette,helookedveryunhappy,satdowninacorneroftheroom,andrefusedtodance。
EveryoneoftheguestssoonremarkedthatIhadonawoman’schemise,andnobodyentertainedadoubtofthesacrificehavingbeenconsummated,withtheexceptionofNanetteandMarton,whocouldnotimaginethepossibilityofmybeingunfaithfultothem。Julietteperceivedthatshehadbeenguiltyofgreatimprudence,butitwastoolatetoremedytheevil。
Whenwereturnedtomychamberupstairs,thinkingthatshehadrepentedofherpreviousbehaviour,andfeelingsomedesiretopossessher,IthoughtIwouldkissher,andItookholdofherhand,sayingIwasdisposedtogivehereverysatisfaction,butshequicklyslappedmyfaceinsoviolentamannerthat,inmyindignation,Iwasverynearreturningthecompliment。Iundressedmyselfrapidlywithoutlookingather,shedidthesame,andwecamedownstairs;
but,inspiteofthecoldwaterIhadappliedtomycheek,everyonecouldeasilyseethestampofthelargehandwhichhadcomeincontactwithmyface。
Beforeleavingthehouse,Juliettetookmeapart,andtoldme,inthemostdecidedandimpressivemanner,thatifIhadanyfancyforbeingthrownoutofthewindow,IcouldenjoythatpleasurewheneverI
likedtoenterherdwelling,andthatshewouldhavememurderedifthisnight’sadventureeverbecamepubliclyknown。Itookcarenottogiveheranycausefortheexecutionofeitherofherthreats,butIcouldnotpreventthefactofourhavingexchangedshirtsbeingrathernotorious。AsIwasnotseenatherhouse,itwasgenerallysupposedthatshehadbeencompelledbyM。Querinitokeepmeatadistance。Thereaderwillseehow,sixyearslater,thisextraordinarywomanthoughtpropertofeignentireforgetfulnessofthisadventure。
IpassedLent,partlyinthecompanyofmylovedones,partlyinthestudyofexperimentalphysicsattheConventoftheSalutation。MyeveningswerealwaysgiventoM。deMalipiero’sassemblies。AtEaster,inordertokeepthepromiseIhadmadetotheCountessofMont—Real,andlongingtoseeagainmybeautifulLucie,IwenttoPasean。IfoundtheguestsentirelydifferenttothesetIhadmetthepreviousautumn。CountDaniel,theeldestofthefamily,hadmarriedaCountessGozzi,andayoungandwealthygovernmentofficial,whohadmarriedagod—daughteroftheoldcountess,wastherewithhiswifeandhissister—in—law。Ithoughtthesupperverylong。Thesameroomhadbeengiventome,andIwasburningtoseeLucie,whomIdidnotintendtotreatanymorelikeachild。Ididnotseeherbeforegoingtobed,butIexpectedherearlythenextmorning,whenlo!insteadofherprettyfacebrighteningmyeyes,I
seestandingbeforemeafat,uglyservant—girl!Ienquireafterthegatekeeper’sfamily,butheranswerisgiveninthepeculiardialectoftheplace,andis,ofcourse,unintelligibletome。
IwonderwhathasbecomeofLucie;Ifancythatourintimacyhasbeenfoundout,Ifancythatsheisill——dead,perhaps。Idressmyselfwiththeintentionoflookingforher。Ifshehasbeenforbiddentoseeme,Ithinktomyself,Iwillbeevenwiththemall,forsomehoworotherIwillcontrivethemeansofspeakingtoher,andoutofspiteIwilldowithherthatwhichhonourpreventedlovefromaccomplishing。AsIwasrevolvingsuchthoughts,thegate—keepercomesinwithasorrowfulcountenance。Ienquireafterhiswife’shealth,andafterhisdaughter,butatthenameofLuciehiseyesarefilledwithtears。
"What!isshedead?"
"WouldtoGodshewere!"
"Whathasshedone?"
"ShehasrunawaywithCountDaniel’scourier,andwehavebeenunabletotraceheranywhere。"
Hiswifecomesinatthemomenthereplies,andatthesewords,whichrenewedhergrief,thepoorwomanfaintsaway。Thekeeper,seeinghowsincerelyIfeltforhismisery,tellsmethatthisgreatmisfortunebefellthemonlyaweekbeforemyarrival。
"Iknowthatmanl’Aigle,"Isay;"heisascoundrel。DidheasktomarryLucie?"
"No;heknewwellenoughthatourconsentwouldhavebeenrefused!"
"IwonderatLucieactinginsuchaway。"
"Heseducedher,andherrunningawaymadeussuspectthetruth,forshehadbecomeverystout。"
"Hadheknownherlong?"
"Aboutamonthafteryourlastvisitshesawhimforthefirsttime。
Hemusthavethrownaspelloverher,forourLuciewasaspureasadove,andyoucan,Ibelieve,beartestimonytohergoodness。"
"Andnooneknowswheretheyare?"
"Noone。Godaloneknowswhatthisvillainwilldowithher。"
Igrievedasmuchastheunfortunateparents;Iwentoutandtookalongrambleinthewoodstogivewaytomysadfeelings。DuringtwohoursIcogitatedoverconsiderations,sometrue,somefalse,whichwereallprefacedbyanif。IfIhadpaidthisvisit,asImighthavedone,aweeksooner,lovingLuciewouldhaveconfidedinme,andIwouldhavepreventedthatself—murder。IfIhadactedwithheraswithNanetteandMarton,shewouldnothavebeenleftbymeinthatstateofardentexcitementwhichmusthaveprovedtheprincipalcauseofherfault,andshewouldnothavefallenapreytothatscoundrel。
Ifshehadnotknownmebeforemeetingthecourier,herinnocentsoulwouldneverhavelistenedtosuchaman。Iwasindespair,forinmyconscienceIacknowledgedmyselftheprimaryagentofthisinfamousseduction;Ihadpreparedthewayforthevillain。
HadIknownwheretofindLucie,Iwouldcertainlyhavegoneforthontheinstanttoseekforher,butnotracewhateverofherwhereaboutshadbeendiscovered。
BeforeIhadbeenmadeacquaintedwithLucie’smisfortuneIfeltgreatprideathavinghadsufficientpowerovermyselftorespectherinnocence;butafterhearingwhathadhappenedIwasashamedofmyownreserve,andIpromisedmyselfthatforthefutureIwouldonthatscoreactmorewisely。Ifelttrulymiserablewhenmyimaginationpaintedtheprobabilityoftheunfortunategirlbeinglefttopovertyandshame,cursingtheremembranceofme,andhatingmeasthefirstcauseofhermisery。Thisfataleventcausedmetoadoptanewsystem,whichinafteryearsIcarriedsometimesrathertoofar。
Ijoinedthecheerfulguestsofthecountessinthegardens,andreceivedsuchawelcomethatIwassoonagaininmyusualspirits,andatdinnerIdelightedeveryone。
MysorrowwassogreatthatitwasnecessaryeithertodriveitawayatonceortoleavePasean。ButanewlifecreptintomybeingasI
examinedthefaceandthedispositionofthenewly—marriedlady。Hersisterwasprettier,butIwasbeginningtofeelafraidofanovice;
Ithoughttheworktoogreat。
Thisnewly—marriedlady,whowasbetweennineteenandtwentyyearsofage,drewuponherselfeverybody’sattentionbyherover—strainedandunnaturalmanners。Agreattalker,withamemorycrammedwithmaximsandpreceptsoftenwithoutsense,butofwhichshelovedtomakeashow,verydevout,andsojealousofherhusbandthatshedidnotconcealhervexationwhenheexpressedhissatisfactionatbeingseatedattableoppositehersister,shelaidherselfopentomuchridicule。Herhusbandwasagiddyyoungfellow,whoperhapsfeltverydeepaffectionforhiswife,butwhoimaginedthat,throughgoodbreeding,heoughttoappearveryindifferent,andwhosevanityfoundpleasureingivingherconstantcausesforjealousy。She,inherturn,hadagreatdreadofpassingforanidiotifshedidnotshewherappreciationof,andherresentmentfor,hisconduct。Shefeltuneasyinthemidstofgoodcompany,preciselybecauseshewishedtoappearthoroughlyathome。IfIprattledawaywithsomeofmytrillingnonsense,shewouldstareatme,andinheranxietynottobethoughtstupid,shewouldlaughoutofseason。Heroddity,herawkwardness,andherself—conceitgavemethedesiretoknowherbetter,andIbegantodanceattendanceuponher。
Myattentions,importantandunimportant,myconstantcare,evermyfopperies,leteverybodyknowthatImeditatedconquest。Thehusbandwasdulywarned,but,withagreatshowofintrepidity,heansweredwithajokeeverytimehewastoldthatIwasaformidablerival。OnmysideIassumedamodest,andevensometimesacarelessappearance,when,toshewhisfreedomfromjealousy,heexcitedmetomakelovetohiswife,who,onherpart,understoodbutlittlehowtoperformthepartoffancyfree。
Ihadbeenpayingmyaddresstoherforfiveorsixdayswithgreatconstancy,when,takingawalkwithherinthegarden,sheimprudentlyconfidedtomethereasonofheranxietyrespectingherhusband,andhowwronghewastogiveheranycauseforjealousy。I
toldher,speakingasanoldfriend,thatthebestwaytopunishhimwouldbetotakenoapparentnoticeofher,husband’spreferenceforhersister,andtofeigntobeherselfinlovewithme。Inordertoenticehermoreeasilytofollowmyadvice,IaddedthatIwaswellawareofmyplanbeingaverydifficultonetocarryout,andthattoplaysuccessfullysuchacharacterawomanmustbeparticularlywitty。Ihadtouchedherweakpoint,andsheexclaimedthatshewouldplaytheparttoperfection;butinspiteofherself—
confidencesheacquittedherselfsobadlythateverybodyunderstoodthattheplanwasofmyownscheming。
IfIhappenedtobealonewithherinthedarkpathsofthegarden,andtriedtomakeherplayherpartinrealearnest,shewouldtakethedangerousstepofrunningaway,andrejoiningtheotherguests;
theresultbeingthat,onmyreappearance,Iwascalledabadsportsmanwhofrightenedthebirdaway。Iwouldnotfailatthefirstopportunitytoreproachherforherflight,andtorepresentthetriumphshehadthuspreparedforherspouse。Ipraisedhermind,butlamentedovertheshortcomingsofhereducation;Isaidthatthetone,themannersIadoptedtowardsher,werethoseofgoodsociety,andprovedthegreatesteemIentertainedforherintelligence,butinthemiddleofallmyfinespeeches,towardstheeleventhortwelfthdayofmycourtship,shesuddenlyputmeoutofallconceitbytellingmethat,beingapriest,Ioughttoknowthateveryamorousconnectionwasadeadlysin,thatGodcouldseeeveryactionofHiscreatures,andthatshewouldneitherdamnhersoulnorplaceherselfunderthenecessityofsayingtoherconfessorthatshehadsofarforgottenherselfastocommitsuchasinwithapriest。
IobjectedthatIwasnotyetapriest,butshefoiledmebyenquiringpoint—blankwhetherornottheactIhadinviewwastobenumberedamongstthecardinalsins,for,notfeelingthecouragetodenyit,IfeltthatImustgiveuptheargumentandputanendtotheadventure。
Alittleconsiderationhavingconsiderablycalmedmyfeelings,everybodyremarkedmynewcountenanceduringdinner;andtheoldcount,whowasveryfondofajoke,expressedloudlyhisopinionthatsuchquietdemeanouronmypartannouncedthecompletesuccessofmycampaign。Consideringsucharemarktobefavourabletome,Itookcaretospewmycrueldevoteethatsuchwasthewaytheworldwouldjudge,butallthiswaslostlabour。Luck,however,stoodmeingoodstead,andmyeffortswerecrownedwithsuccessinthefollowingmanner。
OnAscensionDay,weallwenttopayavisittoMadameBergali,acelebratedItalianpoetess。OnmyreturntoPaseanthesameevening,myprettymistresswishedtogetintoacarriageforfourpersonsinwhichherhusbandandsisterwerealreadyseated,whileIwasaloneinatwo—wheeledchaise。Iexclaimedatthis,sayingthatsuchamarkofdistrustwasindeedtoopointed,andeverybodyremonstratedwithher,sayingthatsheoughtnottoinsultmesocruelly。Shewascompelledtocomewithme,andhavingtoldthepostillionthatI
wantedtogobythenearestroad,helefttheothercarriages,andtookthewaythroughtheforestofCequini。Theskywasclearandcloudlesswhenweleft,butinlessthanhalf—an—hourwewerevisitedbyoneofthosestormssofrequentinthesouth,whichappearlikelytooverthrowheavenandearth,andwhichendrapidly,leavingbehindthemabrightskyandacoolatmosphere,sothattheydomoregoodthanharm。
"Oh,heavens!"exclaimedmycompanion,"weshallhaveastorm。"
"Yes,"Isay,"andalthoughthechaiseiscovered,therainwillspoilyourprettydress。Iamverysorry。"
"Idonotmindthedress;butthethunderfrightensmeso!"
"Closeyourears。"
"Andthelightning?"
"Postillion,letusgosomewhereforshelter。"
"Thereisnotahouse,sir,foraleague,andbeforewecometoit,thestormwillhavepassedoff。"
Hequietlykeepsonhisway,andthelightningflashes,thethundersendsforthitsmightyvoice,andtheladyshudderswithfright。Theraincomesdownintorrents,Itakeoffmycloaktoshelterusinfront,atthesamemomentweareblindedbyaflashoflightning,andtheelectricfluidstrikestheearthwithinonehundredyardsofus。
Thehorsesplungeandprancewithfear,andmycompanionfallsinspasmodicconvulsions。Shethrowsherselfuponme,andfoldsmeinherarms。Thecloakhadgonedown,Istooptoplaceitaroundus,andimprovingmyopportunityItakeupherclothes。Shetriestopullthemdown,butanotherclapofthunderdeprivesherofeveryparticleofstrength。Coveringherwiththecloak,Idrawhertowardsme,andthemotionofthechaisecomingtomyassistance,shefallsovermeinthemostfavourableposition。Ilosenotime,andunderpretenceofarrangingmywatchinmyfob,Ipreparemyselffortheassault。Onherside,consciousthat,unlessshestopsmeatonce,allislost,shemakesagreateffort;butIholdhertightly,sayingthatifshedoesnotfeignafaintingfit,thepost—boywillturnroundandseeeverything;Iletherenjoythepleasureofcallingmeaninfidel,amonster,anythingshelikes,butmyvictoryisthemostcompletethateverachampionachieved。
Therain,however,wasfalling,thewind,whichwasveryhigh,blewinourfaces,and,compelledtostaywhereshewas,shesaidIwouldruinherreputation,asthepostillioncouldseeeverything。
"Ikeepmyeyeuponhim,"Ianswered,"heisnotthinkingofus,andevenifheshouldturnhishead,thecloaksheltersusfromhim。Bequiet,andpretendtohavefainted,forIwillnotletyougo。"
Sheseemsresigned,andaskshowIcanthussetthestormatdefiance。
"Thestorm,dearone,ismybestfriendto—day。"
Shealmostseemstobelieveme,herfearvanishes,andfeelingmyrapture,sheenquireswhetherIhavedone。Ismileandanswerinthenegative,statingthatIcannotlethergotillthestormisover。
"Consenttoeverything,orIletthecloakdrop,"Isaytoher。
"Well,youdreadfulman,areyousatisfied,nowthatyouhaveinsuredmymiseryfortheremainderofmylife?"
"No,notyet。"
"Whatmoredoyouwant?"
"Ashowerofkisses。"
"HowunhappyIam!Well!heretheyare。"
"Tellmeyouforgiveme,andconfessthatyouhavesharedallmypleasure。"
"YouknowIdid。Yes,Iforgiveyou。"
ThenIgiveherherliberty,andtreatinghertosomeverypleasantcaresses,Iaskhertohavethesamekindnessforme,andshegoestoworkwithasmileonherprettylips。
"Tellmeyouloveme,"Isaytoher。
"No,Idonot,foryouareanatheist,andhellawaitsyou。"
Theweatherwasfineagain,andtheelementscalm;Ikissedherhandsandtoldherthatthepostillionhadcertainlynotseenanything,andthatIwassureIhadcuredherofherdreadofthunder,butthatshewasnotlikelytorevealthesecretofmyremedy。Sheansweredthatonethingatleastwascertain,namelythatnootherwomanhadeverbeencuredbythesameprescription。
"Why,"Isaid,"thesameremedyhasverylikelybeenappliedamillionoftimeswithinthelastthousandyears。Totellyouthetruth,Ihadsomewhatdependeduponit,whenweenteredthechaisetogether,forIdidnotknowanyotherwayofobtainingthehappinessofpossessingyou。Butconsoleyourselfwiththebeliefthat,placedinthesameposition,nofrightenedwomancouldhaveresisted。"
"Ibelieveyou;butforthefutureIwilltravelonlywithmyhusband。"
"Youwouldbewrong,foryourhusbandwouldnothavebeencleverenoughtocureyourfrightinthewayIhavedone。"
"True,again。Onelearnssomecuriousthingsinyourcompany;butweshallnottraveltete—d—teteagain。"
WereachedPaseananhourbeforeourfriends。Wegetoutofthechaise,andmyfairmistressranofftoherchamber,whileIwaslookingforacrownforthepostillion。Isawthathewasgrinning。
"Whatareyoulaughingat?"
"Oh!youknow。"
"Here,takethisducatandkeepaquiettongueinyourhead。"
CHAPTERVI
MyGrandmother’sDeathandItsConsequencesILoseM。deMalipiero’sFriendship——IHaveNoLongeraHome——LaTintoretta——IAmSenttoaClericalSeminary——IAmExpelledFromIt,andConfinedinaFortressDuringsuppertheconversationturnedaltogetheruponthestorm,andtheofficial,whoknewtheweaknessofhiswife,toldmethathewasquitecertainIwouldnevertravelwithheragain。"NorIwithhim,"
hiswiferemarked,"for,inhisfearfulimpiety,heexorcisedthelightningwithjokes。"
HenceforthsheavoidedmesoskilfullythatInevercouldcontriveanotherinterviewwithher。
WhenIreturnedtoVeniceIfoundmygrandmotherill,andIhadtochangeallmyhabits,forIlovedhertoodearlynottosurroundherwitheverycareandattention;Ineverleftheruntilshehadbreathedherlast。Shewasunabletoleavemeanything,forduringherlifeshehadgivenmeallshecould,andherdeathcompelledmetoadoptanentirelydifferentmodeoflife。
Amonthafterherdeath,Ireceivedaletterfrommymotherinformingmethat,astherewasnoprobabilityofherreturntoVenice,shehaddeterminedtogiveupthehouse,therentofwhichshewasstillpaying,thatshehadcommunicatedherintentiontotheAbbeGrimani,andthatIwastobeguidedentirelybyhisadvice。
Hewasinstructedtosellthefurniture,andtoplaceme,aswellasmybrothersandmysister,inagoodboarding—house。IcalleduponGrimanitoassurehimofmyperfectdispositiontoobeyhiscommands。
Therentofthehousehadbeenpaiduntiltheendoftheyear;but,asIwasawarethatthefurniturewouldbesoldontheexpirationoftheterm,Iplacedmywantsundernorestraint。Ihadalreadysoldsomelinen,mostofthechina,andseveraltapestries;Inowbegantodisposeofthemirrors,beds,etc。Ihadnodoubtthatmyconductwouldbeseverelyblamed,butIknewlikewisethatitwasmyfather’sinheritance,towhichmymotherhadnoclaimwhatever,and,astomybrothers,therewasplentyoftimebeforeanyexplanationcouldtakeplacebetweenus。
FourmonthsafterwardsIhadasecondletterfrommymother,datedfromWarsaw,andenclosinganother。Hereisthetranslationofmymother’sletter"Mydearson,IhavemadeheretheacquaintanceofalearnedMinimfriar,aCalabrianbybirth,whosegreatqualitieshavemademethinkofyoueverytimehehashonouredmewithavisit。AyearagoItoldhimthatIhadasonwhowaspreparinghimselffortheChurch,butthatIhadnotthemeansofkeepinghimduringhisstudies,andhepromisedthatmysonwouldbecomehisownchild,ifIcouldobtainforhimfromthequeenabishopricinhisnativecountry,andheaddedthatitwouldbeveryeasytosucceedifIcouldinducethesovereigntorecommendhimtoherdaughter,thequeenofNaples。
"FulloftrustintheAlmighty,Ithrewmyselfatthefeetofhermajesty,whograntedmehergraciousprotection。Shewrotetoherdaughter,andtheworthyfriarhasbeenappointedbythePopetothebishopricofMonterano。Faithfultohispromise,thegoodbishopwilltakeyouwithhimaboutthemiddleofnextyear,ashepassesthroughVenicetoreachCalabria。Heinformsyouhimselfofhisintentionsintheenclosedletter。Answerhimimmediately,mydearson,andforwardyourlettertome;Iwilldeliverittothebishop。
HewillpaveyourwaytothehighestdignitiesoftheChurch,andyoumayimaginemyconsolationif,insometwentyorthirtyyears,Ihadthehappinessofseeingyouabishop,atleast!Untilhisarrival,M。Grimaniwilltakecareofyou。Igiveyoumyblessing,andIam,mydearchild,etc。,etc。"
Thebishop’sletterwaswritteninLatin,andwasonlyarepetitionofmymother’s。Itwasfullofunction,andinformedmethathewouldtarrybutthreedaysinVenice。
Iansweredaccordingtomymother’swishes,butthosetwolettershadturnedmybrain。Ilookeduponmyfortuneasmade。Ilongedtoentertheroadwhichwastoleadmetoit,andIcongratulatedmyselfthatIcouldleavemycountrywithoutanyregret。Farewell,Venice,Iexclaimed;thedaysforvanityaregoneby,andinthefutureI
willonlythinkofagreat,ofasubstantialcareer!M。Grimanicongratulatedmewarmlyonmygoodluck,andpromisedallhisfriendlycaretosecureagoodboarding—house,towhichIwouldgoatthebeginningoftheyear,andwhereIwouldwaitforthebishop’sarrival。
M。deMalipiero,whoinhisownwayhadgreatwisdom,andwhosawthatinVeniceIwasplungingheadlongintopleasuresanddissipation,andwasonlywastingaprecioustime,wasdelightedtoseemeontheeveofgoingsomewhereelsetofulfilmydestiny,andmuchpleasedwithmyreadyacceptanceofthosenewcircumstancesinmylife。HereadmealessonwhichIhaveneverforgotten。"ThefamouspreceptoftheStoicphilosophers,"hesaidtome,"’SequereDeum’,canheperfectlyexplainedbythesewords:’Giveyourselfuptowhateverfateofferstoyou,providedyoudonotfeelaninvinciblerepugnancetoacceptit。’"HeaddedthatitwasthegeniusofSocrates,’saeperevocans,raroimpellens’;andthatitwastheoriginofthe’fataviaminveniunt’ofthesamephilosophers。
M。deMalipiero’ssciencewasembodiedinthatverylesson,forhehadobtainedhisknowledgebythestudyofonlyonebook——thebookofman。However,asifitweretogivemetheproofthatperfectiondoesnotexist,andthatthereisabadsideaswellasagoodonetoeverything,acertainadventurehappenedtomeamonthafterwardswhich,althoughIwasfollowinghisownmaxims,costmethelossofhisfriendship,andwhichcertainlydidnotteachmeanything。
Thesenatorfanciedthathecouldtraceuponthephysiognomyofyoungpeoplecertainsignswhichmarkedthemoutasthespecialfavouritesoffortune。Whenheimaginedthathehaddiscoveredthosesignsuponanyindividual,hewouldtakehiminhandandinstructhimhowtoassistfortunebygoodandwiseprinciples;andheusedtosay,withagreatdealoftruth,thatagoodremedywouldturnintopoisoninthehandsofafool,butthatpoisonisagoodremedywhenadministeredbyalearnedman。Hehad,inmytime,threefavouritesinwhoseeducationhetookgreatpains。Theywere,besidesmyself,ThereseImer,withwhomthereaderhasaslightacquaintancealready,andthethirdwasthedaughteroftheboatmanGardela,agirlthreeyearsyoungerthanI,whohadtheprettiestandmostfascinatingcountenance。Thespeculativeoldman,inordertoassistfortuneinherparticularcase,madeherlearndancing,for,hewouldsay,theballcannotreachthepocketunlesssomeonepushesit。ThisgirlmadeagreatreputationatStuttgardunderthenameofAugusta。ShewasthefavouritemistressoftheDukeofWurtemburgin1757。Shewasamostcharmingwoman。ThelasttimeIsawhershewasinVenice,andshediedtwoyearsafterwards。Herhusband,Michelde1’Agata,poisonedhimselfashorttimeafterherdeath。
Onedaywehadallthreedinedwithhim,andafterdinnerthesenatorleftus,aswashiswont,toenjoyhissiesta;thelittleGardela,havingadancinglessontotake,wentawaysoonafterhim,andI
foundmyselfalonewithTherese,whomIratheradmired,althoughI
hadnevermadelovetoher。Weweresittingdownatatableveryneareachother,withourbackstothedooroftheroominwhichwethoughtourpatronfastasleep,andsomehoworotherwetookafancytoexamineintothedifferenceofconformationbetweenagirlandaboy;butatthemostinterestingpartofourstudyaviolentblowonmyshouldersfromastick,followedbyanother,andwhichwouldhavebeenitselffollowedbymanymoreifIhadnotranaway,compelledustoabandonourinterestinginvestigationunfinished。Igotoffwithouthatorcloak,andwenthome;butinlessthanaquarterofanhourtheoldhousekeeperofthesenatorbroughtmyclotheswithaletterwhichcontainedacommandnevertopresentmyselfagainatthemansionofhisexcellency。Iimmediatelywrotehimananswerinthefollowingterms:"Youhavestruckmewhileyouweretheslaveofyouranger;youcannotthereforeboastofhavinggivenmealesson,andI
havenotlearnedanything。ToforgiveyouImustforgetthatyouareamanofgreatwisdom,andIcanneverforgetit。"
Thisnoblemanwasperhapsquiterightnottobepleasedwiththesightwegavehim;yet,withallhisprudence,heprovedhimselfveryunwise,foralltheservantswereacquaintedwiththecauseofmyexile,and,ofcourse,theadventurewassoonknownthroughthecity,andwasreceivedwithgreatmerriment。HedarednotaddressanyreproachestoTherese,asIheardfromhersoonafter,butshecouldnotventuretoentreathimtopardonme。
Thetimetoleavemyfather’shousewasdrawingnear,andonefinemorningIreceivedthevisitofamanaboutfortyyearsold,withablackwig,ascarletcloak,andaveryswarthycomplexion,whohandedmealetterfromM。Grimani,orderingmetoconsigntothebearerallthefurnitureofthehouseaccordingtotheinventory,acopyofwhichwasinmypossession。Takingtheinventoryinmyhand,I
pointedouteveryarticlemarkeddown,exceptwhenthesaidarticle,havingthroughmyinstrumentalitytakenanairingoutofthehouse,happenedtobemissing,andwheneveranyarticlewasabsentIsaidthatIhadnottheslightestideawhereitmightbe。Buttheuncouthfellow,takingaveryhightone,saidloudlythathemustknowwhatI
haddonewiththefurniture。Hismannerbeingverydisagreeabletome,IansweredthatIhadnothingtodowithhim,andashestillraisedhisvoiceIadvisedhimtotakehimselfoffasquicklyaspossible,andIgavehimthatpieceofadviceinsuchawayastoprovetohimthat,athome,IknewIwasthemorepowerfulofthetwo。
FeelingitmydutytogiveinformationtoM。Grimaniofwhathadjusttakenplace,Icalleduponhimassoonashewasup,butIfoundthatmymanwasalreadythere,andthathehadgivenhisownaccountoftheaffair。Theabbe,afteraveryseverelecturetowhichIhadtolisteninsilence,orderedmetorenderanaccountofallthemissingarticles。IansweredthatIhadfoundmyselfunderthenecessityofsellingthemtoavoidrunningintodebt。Thisconfessionthrewhiminaviolentpassion;hecalledmearascal,saidthatthosethingsdidnotbelongtome,thatheknewwhathehadtodo,andhecommandedmetoleavehishouseontheveryinstant。
Madwithrage,IranforaJew,towhomIwantedtosellwhatremainedofthefurniture,butwhenIreturnedtomyhouseIfoundabailiffwaitingatthedoor,andhehandedmeasummons。IlookedoveritandperceivedthatitwasissuedattheinstanceofAntonioRazetta。Itwasthenameofthefellowwiththeswarthycountenance。
Thesealswerealreadyaffixedonallthedoors,andIwasnotevenallowedtogotomyroom,forakeeperhadbeenlefttherebythebailiff。Ilostnotime,andcalleduponM。Rosa,towhomIrelatedallthecircumstances。Afterreadingthesummonshesaid,"Thesealsshallberemovedto—morrowmorning,andinthemeantimeI
shallsummonRazettabeforetheavogador。Butto—night,mydearfriend,"headded,"youmustbegthehospitalityofsomeoneofyouracquaintances。Ithasbeenaviolentproceeding,butyoushallbepaidhandsomelyforit;themanisevidentlyactingunderM。Grimani’sorders。"
"Well,thatistheirbusiness。"
IspentthenightwithNanetteandMarton,andonthefollowingmorning,thesealshavingbeentakenoff,Itookpossessionofmydwelling。Razettadidnotappearbeforethe’avogador’,andM。Rosasummonedhiminmynamebeforethecriminalcourt,andobtainedagainsthimawritof’capias’incaseheshouldnotobeythesecondsummons。OnthethirddayM。Grimaniwrotetome,commandingmetocalluponhim。Iwentimmediately。AssoonasIwasinhispresenceheenquiredabruptlywhatmyintentionswere。
"Iintendtoshieldmyselffromyourviolentproceedingsundertheprotectionofthelaw,andtodefendmyselfagainstamanwithwhomI
oughtnevertohavehadanyconnection,andwhohascompelledmetopassthenightinadisreputableplace。"
"Inadisreputableplace?"
"Ofcourse。WhywasI,againstallrightandjustice,preventedfromenteringmyowndwelling?"
"Youhavepossessionofitnow。ButyoumustgotoyourlawyerandtellhimtosuspendallproceedingsagainstRazetta,whohasdonenothingbutundermyinstructions。Isuspectedthatyourintentionwastoselltherestofthefurniture;Ihavepreventedit。ThereisaroomatyourdisposalatSt。hrysostom’s,inahouseofmine,thefirstfloorofwhichisoccupiedbyLaTintoretta,ourfirstoperadancer。Sendallyourthingsthere,andcomeanddinewithmeeveryday。Yoursisterandyourbrothershavebeenprovidedwithacomfortablehome;therefore,everythingisnowarrangedforthebest。"
IcalledatonceuponM。Rosa,towhomIexplainedallthathadtakenplace,andhisadvicebeingtogivewaytoM。Grimani’swishes,I
determinedtofollowit。Besides,thearrangementofferedthebestsatisfactionIcouldobtain,astobeaguestathisdinnertablewasanhonourforme。IwaslikewisefullofcuriosityrespectingmynewlodgingunderthesameroofwithLaTintoretta,whowasmuchtalkedof,owingtoacertainPrinceofWaldeckwhowasextravagantlygenerouswithher。
Thebishopwasexpectedinthecourseofthesummer;Ihad,therefore,onlysixmonthsmoretowaitinVenicebeforetakingtheroadwhichwouldleadme,perhaps,tothethroneofSaintPeter:
everythinginthefutureassumedinmyeyesthebrightesthue,andmyimaginationrevelledamongstthemostradiantbeamsofsunshine;mycastlesintheairwereindeedmostbeautiful。
IdinedthesamedaywithM。Grimani,andIfoundmyselfseatednexttoRazetta——anunpleasantneighbour,butItooknonoticeofhim。
Whenthemealwasover,IpaidalastvisittomybeautifulhouseinSaint—Samuel’sparish,andsentallIpossessedinagondolatomynewlodging。
IdidnotknowSignoraTintoretta,butIwaswellacquaintedwithherreputation,characterandmanners。Shewasbutapoordancer,neitherhandsomenorplain,butawomanofwitandintellect。PrinceWaldeckspentagreatdealforher,andyethedidnotpreventherfromretainingthetitularyprotectionofanobleVenetianoftheLinfamily,nowextinct,amanaboutsixtyyearsofage,whowashervisitorateveryhouroftheday。Thisnobleman,whoknewme,cametomyroomtowardstheevening,withthecomplimentsofthelady,who,headded,wasdelightedtohavemeinherhouse,andwouldbepleasedtoreceivemeinherintimatecircle。
Toexcusemyselffornothavingbeenthefirsttopaymyrespectstothesignora,ItoldM。LinthatIdidnotknowshewasmyneighbour,thatM。Grimanihadnotmentionedthecircumstance,otherwiseIwouldhavepaidmydutiestoherbeforetakingpossessionofmylodging。
AfterthisapologyIfollowedtheambassador,hepresentedmetohismistress,andtheacquaintancewasmade。
Shereceivedmelikeaprincess,tookoffherglovebeforegivingmeherhandtokiss,mentionedmynamebeforefiveorsixstrangerswhowerepresent,andwhosenamesshegaveme,andinvitedmetotakeaseatnearher。AsshewasanativeofVenice,IthoughtitwasabsurdforhertospeakFrenchtome,andItoldherthatIwasnotacquaintedwiththatlanguage,andwouldfeelgratefulifshewouldconverseinItalian。ShewassurprisedatmynotspeakingFrench,andsaidIwouldcutbutapoorfigureinherdrawing—room,astheyseldomspokeanyotherlanguagethere,becauseshereceivedagreatmanyforeigners。IpromisedtolearnFrench。PrinceWaldeckcameinduringtheevening;Iwasintroducedtohim,andhegavemeaveryfriendlywelcome。HecouldspeakItalianverywell,andduringthecarnivalhechewedmegreatkindness。HepresentedmewithagoldsnuffboxasarewardforaverypoorsonnetwhichIhadwrittenforhisdearGrizellini。Thiswasherfamilyname;shewascalledTintorettabecauseherfatherhadbeenadyer。
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