willmayprocureusthisfavourfromtheladies;thisisnotasufficienttestimonyofaffection:treacherymaylurkthere，aswellaselsewhere:
theysometimesgoto’tbyhalves:
"TanquamthuramerumqueparentAbsentemmarmoreamveputes:"
["Asiftheyarepreparingfrankincenseandwine……youmightthinkherabsentormarble。"——Martial，xi。103，12，and59，8。]
Iknowsomewhohadratherlendthatthantheircoach，andwhoonlyimpartthemselvesthatway。Youaretoexaminewhetheryourcompanypleasesthemuponanyotheraccount，or，assomestrong—chinedgroom，forthatonly;inwhatdegreeoffavourandesteemyouarewiththem:
"Tibisidaturuni，Quemlapideilladiemcandidiorenotat。"
["Whereforethatisenough，ifthatdayaloneisgivenuswhichshemarkswithawhiterstone。"——Catullus，lxviii。147。]
Whatiftheyeatyourbreadwiththesauceofamorepleasingimagination。
"Tetenet，absentesaliossuspiratamores。"
["Shehasyouinherarms;herthoughtsarewithotherabsentlovers。"——Tibullus，i。6，35。]
What？havewenotseenoneinthesedaysofourswhomadeuseofthisactforthepurposeofamosthorridrevenge，bythatmeanstokillandpoison，ashedid，aworthylady？
SuchasknowItalywillnotthinkitstrangeif，forthissubject，Iseeknotelsewhereforexamples;forthatnationmaybecalledtheregentoftheworldinthis。Theyhavemoregenerallyhandsomeandfeweruglywomenthanwe;butforrareandexcellentbeautieswehaveasmanyasthey。Ithinkthesameoftheirintellects:ofthoseofthecommonsort，theyhaveevidentlyfarmorebrutishnessisimmeasurablyrarerthere;
butinindividualcharactersofthehighestform，wearenothingindebtedtothem。IfIshouldcarryonthecomparison，Imightsay，astouchingvalour，that，onthecontrary，itis，towhatitiswiththem，commonandnaturalwithus;butsometimesweseethempossessedofittosuchadegreeassurpassesthegreatestexampleswecanproduce:Themarriagesofthatcountryaredefectiveinthis;theircustomcommonlyimposessorudeandsoslavishalawuponthewomen，thatthemostdistantacquaintancewithastrangerisascapitalanoffenceasthemostintimate;sothatallapproachesbeingrenderednecessarilysubstantial，andseeingthatallcomestooneaccount，theyhavenohardchoicetomake;andwhentheyhavebrokendownthefence，wemaysafelypresumetheygetonfire:
"Luxuriaipsisvinculis，sicutferabestia，irritata，deindeemissa。"
["Lust，likeawildbeast，beingmoreexcitedbybeingbound，breaksfromhischainswithgreaterwildness。"——Livy，xxxiv。4。]
Theymustgivethemalittlemorerein:
"Vidiegonuperequum，contrasuafrenatenacem，Orereluctantifulminisiremodo":
["Isaw，theotherday，ahorsestrugglingagainsthisbit，rushlikeathunderbolt。"——Ovid，Amor。，iii。4，13。]
thedesireofcompanyisallayedbygivingitalittleliberty。Weareprettymuchinthesamecasetheyareextremeinconstraint，weinlicence。’TisagoodcustomwehaveinFrancethatoursonsarereceivedintothebestfamilies，theretobeentertainedandbreduppages，asinaschoolofnobility;and’tislookeduponasadiscourtesyandanaffronttorefusethistoagentleman。Ihavetakennotice（for，somanyfamilies，somanydifferingforms）thattheladieswhohavebeenstrictestwiththeirmaidshavehadnobetterluckthanthosewhoallowedthemagreaterliberty。Thereshouldbemoderationinthesethings;onemustleaveagreatdealoftheirconducttotheirowndiscretion;for，whenallcomestoall，nodisciplinecancurbthemthroughout。Butitistruewithalthatshewhocomesoffwithflyingcoloursfromaschoolofliberty，bringswithherwhereontoreposemoreconfidencethanshewhocomesawaysoundfromasevereandstrictschool。
Ourfathersdresseduptheirdaughters’looksinbashfulnessandfear（theircourageanddesiresbeingthesame）;weoursinconfidenceandassurance;weunderstandnothingofthematter;wemustleaveittotheSarmatianwomen，whomaynotliewithamantillwiththeirownhandstheyhavefirstkilledanotherinbattle。Forme，whohavenoothertitleleftmetothesethingsbutbytheears，’tissufficientif，accordingtotheprivilegeofmyage，theyretainmeforoneoftheircounsel。Iadvisethemthen，andusmentoo，toabstinence;butiftheageweliveinwillnotendureit，atleastmodestyanddiscretion。For，asinthestoryofAristippus，who，speakingtosomeyoungmenwhoblushedtoseehimgointoascandaloushouse，said"theviceisinnotcomingout，notingoingin，"letherwhohasnocareofherconsciencehaveyetsomeregardtoherreputation;andthoughsheberottenwithin，lethercarryafairoutsideatleast。
Icommendagradationanddelayinbestowingtheirfavours:Plato’declaresthat，inallsortsoflove，facilityandpromptnessareforbiddentothedefendant。’Tisasignofeagernesswhichtheyoughttodisguisewithallthearttheyhave，sorashly，wholly，andhand—over—
handtosurrenderthemselves。Incarryingthemselvesorderlyandmeasuredlyinthegrantingtheirlastfavours，theymuchmoreallureourdesiresandhidetheirown。Letthemstillflybeforeus，eventhosewhohavemostmindtobeovertaken:theybetterconquerusbyflying，astheScythiansdid。Tosaythetruth，accordingtothelawthatnaturehasimposeduponthem，itisnotproperlyforthemeithertowillordesire;
theirpartistosuffer，obey，andconsentandforthisitisthatnaturehasgiventhemaperpetualcapacity，whichinusisbutattimesanduncertain;theyarealwaysfitfortheencounter，thattheymaybealwaysreadywhenweareso"Patinatee。"—["Borntosuffer。"—Seneca，Ep。，95。]——
Andwhereasshehasorderedthatourappetitesshallbemanifestbyaprominentdemonstration，shewouldhavetheirstobehiddenandconcealedwithin，andhasfurnishedthemwithpartsimproperforostentation，andsimplydefensive。SuchproceedingsasthisthatfollowsmustbelefttotheAmazonianlicence:AlexandermarchinghisarmythroughHyrcania，Thalestris，QueenoftheAmazons，camewiththreehundredlighthorseofherown—sex，wellmounted，andarmed，havinglefttheremainderofaverygreat，armythatfollowedherbehindtheneighbouringmountainstogivehimavisit;whereshepubliclyandinplaintermstoldhimthatthefameofhisvalourandvictorieshadbroughtherthithertoseehim，andtomakehimanofferofherforcestoassisthiminthepursuitofhisenterprises;andthat，findinghimsohandsome，young，andvigorous，she，whowasalsoperfectinallthosequalities，advisedthattheymightlietogether，totheendthatfromthemostvaliantwomanoftheworldandthebravestmanthenliving，theremightspringsomegreatandwonderfulissueforthetimetocome。Alexanderreturnedherthanksforalltherest;but，togiveleisurefortheaccomplishmentofherlastdemand，hedetainedherthirteendaysinthatplace，whichwerespentinroyalfeastingandjollity，forthewelcomeofsocourageousaprincess。
Weare，almostthroughout，unjustjudgesoftheiractions，astheyareofours。Iconfessthetruthwhenitmakesagainstme，aswellaswhen’tisonmyside。’Tisanabominableintemperancethatpushesthemonsooftentochange，andthatwillnotletthemlimittheiraffectiontoanyonepersonwhatever;asisevidentinthatgoddesstowhomareattributedsomanychangesandsomanylovers。But’tistruewithalthat’tiscontrarytothenatureofloveifitbe，notviolent;andcontrarytothenatureofviolenceifitbeconstant。Andtheywhowonder，exclaim，andkeepsuchacluttertofindoutthecausesofthisfrailtyoftheirs，asunnaturalandnottobebelieved，howcomesittopasstheydonotdiscernhowoftentheyarethemselvesguiltyofthesame，withoutanyastonishmentormiracleatall？Itwould，peradventure，bemorestrangetoseethepassionfixed;’tisnotasimplycorporealpassion。Iftherebenoendtoavariceandambition，thereisdoubtlessnomoreindesire;
itstilllivesaftersatiety;and’tisimpossibletoprescribeeitherconstantsatisfactionorend;itevergoesbeyonditspossession。Andbythatmeansinconstancy，peradventure，isinsomesortmorepardonableinthemthaninus:theymayplead，aswellaswe，theinclinationtovarietyandnoveltycommontousboth;andsecondly，withoutus，thattheybuyacatinasack:Joanna，queenofNaples，causedherfirsthusband，Andrews，tobehangedatthebarsofherwindowinahalterofgoldandsilkwovenwithherownhand，becauseinmatrimonialperformancessheneitherfoundhispartsnorabilitiesanswertheexpectationshehadconceivedfromhisstature，beauty，youth，andactivity，bywhichshehadbeencaughtanddeceived。Theymaysaythereismorepainsrequiredindoingthaninsuffering;andsotheyareontheirpartalwaysatleastprovidedfornecessity，whereasonourpartitmayfalloutotherwise。Forthisreasonitwas，thatPlatowiselymadealawthatbeforemarriage，todetermineofthefitnessofpersons，thejudgesshouldseetheyoungmenwhopretendedtoitstrippedstarknaked，andthewomenbuttothegirdleonly。Whentheycometotryustheydonot，perhaps，findusworthyoftheirchoice:
"Expertalatus，madidoquesimillimaloroInguina，neclassastarecoactamanu，Deseritimbellesthalamos。"
["Afterusingeveryendeavourtoarousehimtoaction，shequitsthebarrencouch。"——Martial，vii。58。]
’Tisnotenoughthataman’swillbegood;weaknessandinsufficiencylawfullybreakamarriage，"Etquaerendumaliundeforetnervosiusillud，Quodpossetzonamsolverevirgineam:"
["Andseeksamorevigorouslovertoundohervirginzone。"
——Catullus，lxvii。27。]
whynot？andaccordingtoherownstandard，anamorousintelligence，morelicentiousandactive，"Siblandonequeatsuperesselabori。"
["Ifhisstrengthbeunequaltothepleasanttask。"
——Virgil，Georg。，iii。127。]
Butisitnotgreatimpudencetoofferourimperfectionsandimbecilities，wherewedesiretopleaseandleaveagoodopinionandesteemofourselves？ForthelittlethatIamabletodonow:
"AdunumMollisopus。"
["Fitbutforonce。"——Horace，Epod。，xii。15。]
Iwouldnottroubleawoman，thatIamtoreverenceandfear:
"Fugesuspicari，CujusundenumtrepidavitaetasClauderelustrum。"
["Fearnothimwhoseeleventhlustrumisclosed。"
——Horace，Od。，ii。4，12，limitsittotheeighth。]
Natureshouldsatisfyherselfinhavingrenderedthisagemiserable，withoutrenderingitridiculoustoo。Ihatetoseeit，foronepoorinchofpitifulvigourwhichcomesuponitbutthriceaweek，tostrutandsetitselfoutwithasmucheagernessasifitcoulddomightyfeats;atrueflameofflax;andlaughtoseeitsoboilandbubbleandtheninamomentsocongealedandextinguished。Thisappetiteoughttoappertainonlytotheflowerofbeautifulyouth:trustnottoitssecondingthatindefatigable，full，constant，magnanimousardouryouthinkinyou，foritwillcertainlyleaveyouinaprettycorner;butrathertransferittosometender，bashful，andignorantboy，whoyettremblesattherod，andblushes:
"IndumsanguineovelutiviolaveritostroSiquisebur，velmistarubentubililiamultaAlbarosa。"
["AsIndianivorystreakedwithcrimson，orwhiteliliesmixedwiththedamaskrose。"——AEneid，xii。67。]
Whocanstaytillthemorningwithoutdyingforshametobeholdthedisdainofthefaireyesofherwhoknowssowellhisfumblingimpertinence，"Ettacitifeceretamenconviciavultus，"
["Thoughshenothingsay，herlooksbetrayheranger。"
——Ovid，Amor。，i。7，21。]
hasneverhadthesatisfactionandthegloryofhavingcudgelledthemtilltheywereweary，withthevigorousperformanceofoneheroicnight。
WhenIhaveobservedanyonetobevexedwithme，Ihavenotpresentlyaccusedherlevity，buthavebeenindoubt，ifIhadnotreasonrathertocomplainofnature;shehasdoubtlessusedmeveryuncivillyandunkindly:
"Sinonlongasatis，sinonbenementulacrassaNimirumsapiunt，videntqueparvamMatronaequoquementulamillibenter:"
[ThefirstoftheseversesisthecommencementofanepigramoftheVeterumPoetayurraCatalecta，andthetwoothersarefromanepigraminthesamecollection（AdMatrones）。TheydescribeuntranslatablyMontaigne’schargeagainstnature，indicatedinthepreviouspassage。]
anddonemeamostenormousinjury。EverymemberIhave，asmuchoneasanother，isequallymyown，andnoothermoreproperlymakesmeamanthanthis。
Iuniversallyowemyentirepicturetothepublic。Thewisdomofmyinstructionconsistsinliberty，intruth，inessence:disdainingtointroducethoselittle，feigned，common，andprovincialrulesintothecatalogueofitsrealduties;allnatural，general，andconstant，ofwhichcivilityandceremonyaredaughtersindeed，butillegitimate。
Wearesuretohavethevicesofappearance，whenweshallhavehadthoseofessence:whenwehavedonewiththese，werunfulldriveupontheothers，ifwefinditmustbeso;forthereisdangerthatweshallfancynewoffices，toexcuseournegligencetowardsthenaturalones，andtoconfoundthem:andtomanifestthis，isitnotseenthatinplaceswherefaultsarecrimes，crimesarebutfaults;thatinnationswherethelawsofdecencyaremostrareandmostremiss，theprimitivelawsofcommonreasonarebetterobserved:theinnumerablemultitudeofsomanydutiesstiflinganddissipatingourcare。Theapplicationofourselvestolightandtrivialthingsdivertsusfromthosethatarenecessaryandjust。
Oh，howthesesuperficialmentakeaneasyandplausiblewayincomparisonofours！Theseareshadowswherewithwepalliateandpayoneanother;butwedonotpay，butinflamethereckoningtowardsthatgreatjudge，whotucksupourragsandtattersaboveourshamefulparts，andsucklesnottoviewusallover，eventoourinmostandmostsecretordures:itwereausefuldecencyofourmaidenlymodesty，coulditkeephimfromthisdiscovery。Infine，whoevercouldreclaimmanfromsoscrupulousaverbalsuperstition，woulddotheworldnogreatdisservice。
Ourlifeisdividedbetwixtfollyandprudence:whoeverwillwriteofitbutwhatisreverendandcanonical，willleaveabovetheone—halfbehind。
Idonotexcusemyselftomyself;andifIdid，itshouldratherbeformyexcusesthatIwouldexcusemyselfthanforanyotherfault;Iexcusemyselfofcertainhumours，whichIthinkmorestronginnumberthanthosethatareonmyside。Inconsiderationofwhich，Iwillfurthersaythis（forIdesiretopleaseeveryone，thoughitwillbehardtodo）:
"Esseunumhominemaccommodatumadtantammorumacsermonumetvoluntatumvarietatem，"
["Foramantoconformtosuchavarietyofmanners，discourses，andwill。"——Q。Cicero，DePet。Consul，c。14。]
thattheyoughtnottocondemnmeforwhatImakeauthorities，receivedandapprovedbysomanyages，toutter:andthatthereisnoreasonthatforwantofrhymetheyshouldrefusemethelibertytheyalloweventochurchmenofournationandtime，andtheseamongstthemostnotable，ofwhichherearetwooftheirbriskverses:
"Rimula，dispeream，nimonogrammatuaest。"
"Unvitd’amylacontenteetbientraicte:"
[St。Gelais，（EuvresPoetiques，p。99，ed。ofLyons，1574。]
besideshowmanyothers。Ilovemodesty;and’tisnotoutofjudgmentthatIhavechosenthisscandalouswayofspeaking;’tisnaturethathaschosenitforme。Icommenditnot，nomorethanotherformsthatarecontrarytocommonuse:butIexcuseit，andbycircumstancesbothgeneralandparticular，alleviateitsaccusation。
Buttoproceed。Whence，too，canproceedthatusurpationofsovereignauthorityyoutakeuponyouoverthewomen，whofavouryouattheirownexpense，"Sifurtivadeditmiramunusculanocte，"
["If，inthestealthynight，shehasmadestrangegifts。"
——Catullus，lxviii。145。]
sothatyoupresentlyassumetheinterest，coldness，andauthorityofahusband？’Tisafreecontractwhydoyounotthenkeeptoit，asyouwouldhavethemdo？thereisnoprescriptionuponvoluntarythings。
’Tisagainsttheform，butitistruewithal，thatIinmytimehaveconductedthisbargainasmuchasthenatureofitwouldpermit，asconscientiouslyandwithasmuchcolourofjustice，asanyothercontract;andthatIneverpretendedotheraffectionthanwhatIreallyhad，andhavetrulyacquaintedthemwithitsbirth，vigour，anddeclination，itsfitsandintermissions:amandoesnotalwaysholdonatthesamerate。Ihavebeensosparingofmypromises，thatIthinkIhavebeenbetterthanmyword。Theyhavefoundmefaithfuleventoserviceoftheirinconstancy，aconfessedandsometimesmultipliedinconstancy。Ineverbrokewiththem，whilstIhadanyholdatall，andwhatoccasionsoevertheyhavegivenme，neverbrokewiththemtohatredorcontempt;forsuchprivacies，thoughobtaineduponneversoscandalousterms，doyetobligetosomegoodwill:Ihavesometimes，upontheirtricksandevasions，discoveredalittleindiscreetangerandimpatience;
forIamnaturallysubjecttorashemotions，which，thoughlightandshort，oftenspoilmymarket。Atanytimetheyhaveconsultedmyjudgment，Ineverstucktogivethemsharpandpaternalcounsels，andtopinchthemtothequick。IfIhaveleftthemanycausetocomplainofme，’tisrathertohavefoundinme，incomparisonofthemodernuse，alovefoolishlyconscientiousthananythingelse。Ihavekeptmy，wordinthingswhereinImighteasilyhavebeendispensed;theysometimessurrenderedthemselveswithreputation，anduponarticlesthattheywerewillingenoughshouldbebrokenbytheconqueror:Ihave，morethanonce，madepleasureinitsgreatesteffortstriketotheinterestoftheirhonour;andwherereasonimportunedme，havearmedthemagainstmyself;
sothattheyorderedthemselvesmoredecorouslyandsecurelybymyrules，whentheyfranklyreferredthemselvestothem，thantheywouldhavedonebytheirown。Ihaveever，asmuchasIcould，whollytakenuponmyselfalonethehazardofourassignations，toacquitthem;andhavealwayscontrivedourmeetingsafterthehardestandmostunusualmanner，aslesssuspected，and，moreover，inmyopinion，moreaccessible。Theyarechieflymoreopen，wheretheythinktheyaremostsecurelyshut;thingsleastfearedareleastinterdictedandobserved;onemaymoreboldlydarewhatnobodythinksyoudare，whichbyitsdifficultybecomeseasy。Neverhadanymanhisapproachesmoreimpertinentlygenerative;thiswayoflovingismoreaccordingtodisciplinebuthowridiculousitistoourpeople，andhowineffectual，whobetterknowsthanI？yetIshallnotrepentmeofit;Ihavenothingtheremoretolose:
"MetabulasacerVotivaparies，indicatuvidaSuspendissepotentiVestimentamarisdeo:"
["Theholywall，bymyvotivetable，showsthatIhavehangedupmywetclothesinhonourofthepowerfulgodofthesea。"
——Horace，Od。，i。5，13。]
’tisnowtimetospeakout。ButasImight，peradventure，saytoanother，"Thoutalkestidly，myfriend;theloveofthytimehaslittlecommercewithfaithandintegrity;"
"HaecsitupostulesRationecertafacere，nihiloplusagas，Quamsidesoperam，utcumrationeinsanias:"
["Ifyouseektomakethesethingscertainbyreason，youwilldonomorethanifyoushouldseektobemadinyoursenses。"
——Terence，Eun。，acti。，sc。i，v。16。]
onthecontrary，also，ifitwereformetobeginagain，certainlyitshouldbebythesamemethodandthesameprogress，howfruitlesssoeveritmightbetome;follyandinsufficiencyarecommendableinanincommendableaction:thefartherIgofromtheirhumourinthis，I
approachsomuchnearertomyown。Astotherest，inthistraffic，I
didnotsuffermyselftobetotallycarriedaway;Ipleasedmyselfinit，butdidnotforgetmyself。Iretainedthelittlesenseanddiscretionthatnaturehasgivenme，entirefortheirserviceandmyown:alittleemotion，butnodotage。Myconscience，also，wasengagedinit，eventodebauchandlicentiousness;but，astoingratitude，treachery，malice，andcruelty，never。Iwouldnotpurchasethepleasureofthisviceatanyprice，butcontentmyselfwithitsproperandsimplecost:
"Nullumintrasevitiumest。"
["Nothingisaviceinitself。"——Seneca，Ep。，95。]
Ialmostequallyhateastupidandslothfullaziness，asIdoatoilsomeandpainfulemployment;thispinches，theotherlaysmeasleep。Ilikewoundsaswellasbruises，andcutsaswellasdryblows。Ifoundinthiscommerce，whenIwasthemostableforit，ajustmoderationbetwixttheseextremes。Loveisasprightly，lively，andgayagitation;Iwasneithertroublednorafflictedwithit，butheated，andmoreover，disordered;amanmuststopthere;ithurtsnobodybutfools。AyoungmanaskedthephilosopherPanetiusifitwerebecomingawisemantobeinlove？"Letthewisemanlooktothat，"answeredhe，"butletnotthouandI，whoarenotso，engageourselvesinsostirringandviolentanaffair，thatenslavesustoothers，andrendersuscontemptibletoourselves。"HesaidtruethatwearenottointrustathingsoprecipitousinitselftoasoulthathasnotwherewithaltowithstanditsassaultsanddisprovepracticallythesayingofAgesilaus，thatprudenceandlovecannotlivetogether。’Tisavainemployment，’tistrue，unbecoming，shameful，andillegitimate;butcarriedonafterthismanner，Ilookuponitaswholesome，andpropertoenlivenadrowsysoulandtorouseupaheavybody;and，asanexperiencedphysician，Iwouldprescribeittoamanofmyformandcondition，assoonasanyotherrecipewhatever，torouseandkeephiminvigourtillwelladvancedinyears，andtodefertheapproachesofage。Whilstwearebutinthesuburbs，andthatthepulseyetbeats:
"Dumnovacanities，dumprimaetrectasenectus，Dumsuperestlachesiquodtorqueat，etpedibusmePortomeis，nullodextramsubeuntebacillo，"
[Whilstthewhitehairisnew，whilstoldageisstillstraightshouldered，whilsttherestillremainssomethingforLachesistospin，whilstIwalkonmyownlegs，andneednostafftoleanupon。"
——Juvenal，iii。26。]
wehaveneedtobesolicitedandtickledbysomesuchnippingincitationasthis。Dobutobservewhatyouth，vigour，andgaietyitinspiredthegoodAnacreonwithal:andSocrates，whowasthenolderthanI，speakingofanamorousobject:
"Leaning，"saidhe，"myshouldertohershoulder，andmyheadtohers，aswewerereadingtogetherinabook，Ifelt，withoutdissembling，asuddenstinginmyshoulderlikethebitingofaninsect，whichIstillfeltabovefivedaysafter，andacontinualitchingcreptintomyheart。"Sothatmerelytheaccidentaltouch，andofashoulder，heatedandalteredasoulcooledandenervedbyage，andthestrictestliverofallmankind。
And，pray，whynot？Socrateswasaman，andwouldneitherbe，norseem，anyotherthing。Philosophydoesnotcontendagainstnaturalpleasures，providedtheybemoderate，andonlypreachesmoderation，notatotalabstinence;thepowerofitsresistanceisemployedagainstthosethatareadulterateandstrange。Philosophysaysthattheappetitesofthebodyoughtnottobeaugmentedbythemind，andingeniouslywarnsusnottostiruphungerbysaturity;nottostuff，insteadofmerelyfilling，thebelly;toavoidallenjoymentsthatmaybringustowant;andallmeatsanddrinksthatbringthirstandhunger:as，intheserviceoflove，sheprescribesustotakesuchanobjectasmaysimplysatisfythebody’sneed，anddoesnotstirthesoul，whichoughtonlybarelytofollowandassistthebody，withoutmixingintheaffair。ButhaveInotreasontoholdthattheseprecepts，which，indeed，inmyopinion，aresomewhatoverstrict，onlyconcernabodyinitsbestplight;andthatinabodybrokenwithage，asinaweakstomach，’tisexcusabletowarmandsupportitbyart，andbythemediationofthefancytorestoretheappetiteandcheerfulnessithaslostofitself。
Maywenotsaythatthereisnothinginus，duringthisearthlyprison，thatispurelyeithercorporealorspiritual;andthatweinjuriouslybreakupamanalive;andthatitseemsbutreasonablethatweshouldcarryourselvesasfavourably，atleast，towardstheuseofpleasureaswedotowardsthatofpain！Painwas（forexample）vehementeventoperfectioninthesoulsofthesaintsbypenitence:thebodyhadtherenaturallyashambytherightofunion，andyetmighthavebutlittlepartinthecause;andyetaretheynotcontentedthatitshouldbarelyfollowandassisttheafflictedsoul:theyhaveafflicteditselfwithgrievousandspecialtorments，totheendthatbyemulationofoneanotherthesoulandbodymightplungemanintomiserybysomuchmoresalutiferousasitismoresevere。Inlikemanner，isitnotinjustice，inbodilypleasures，tosubdueandkeepunderthesoul，andsaythatitmustthereinbedraggedalongastosomeenforcedandservileobligationandnecessity？’Tisratherherparttohatchandcherishthem，theretopresentherself，andtoinvitethem，theauthorityofrulingbelongingtoher;asitisalsoherpart，inmyopinion，inpleasuresthatarepropertoher，toinspireandinfuseintothebodyallthesentimentitiscapableof，andtostudyhowtomakethemsweetandusefultoit。Foritisgoodreason，astheysay，thatthebodyshouldnotpursueitsappetitestotheprejudiceofthemind;butwhyisitnotalsothereasonthatthemindshouldnotpursueherstotheprejudiceofthebody？
Ihavenootherpassiontokeepmeinbreath。Whatavarice，ambition，quarrels，lawsuitsdoforotherswho，likeme，havenoparticularvocation，lovewouldmuchmorecommodiouslydo;itwouldrestoretomevigilance，sobriety，grace，andthecareofmyperson;itwouldreassuremycountenance，sothatthegrimacesofoldage，thosedeformedanddismallooks，mightnotcometodisgraceit;wouldagainputmeuponsoundandwisestudies，bywhichImightrendermyselfmorelovedandesteemed，clearingmymindofthedespairofitselfandofitsuse，andredintegratingittoitself;woulddivertmefromathousandtroublesomethoughts，athousandmelancholichumoursthatidlenessandtheillpostureofourhealthloadsuswithalatsuchanage;wouldwarmagain，indreamsatleast，thebloodthatnatureisabandoning;wouldholdupthechin，andalittlestretchoutthenerves，thevigourandgaietyoflifeofthatpoormanwhoisgoingfulldrivetowardshisruin。ButI
verywellunderstandthatitisacommodityhardtorecover:byweaknessandlongexperienceourtasteisbecomemoredelicateandnice;weaskmostwhenwebringleast，andarehardertochoosewhenweleastdeservetobeaccepted:andknowingourselvesforwhatweare，wearelessconfidentandmoredistrustful;nothingcanassureusofbeingbeloved，consideringourconditionandtheirs。Iamoutofcountenancetoseemyselfincompanywiththoseyoungwantoncreatures:
"Cujusinindomitoconstantioringuinenervus，Quamnovacollibusarborinhaeret。"
["Inwhoseunbridledreinsthevigourismoreinherentthanintheyoungtreeonthehills。"——Horace，Epod。，xii。19。]
Towhatendshouldwegoinsinuateourmiseryamidtheirgayandsprightlyhumour？
"Possintutjuvenesviserefervidi。
Multononsinerisu，Dilapsamincineresfacem。"
["Asthefervidyouthsmaybehold，notwithoutlaughter，aburningtorchworntoashes。"——Horace，Od。，iv。13，21。]
Theyhavestrengthandreasonontheirside;letusgiveway;wehavenothingtodothere:andtheseblossomsofspringingbeautysuffernotthemselvestobehandledbysuchbenumbedhandsnordealtwithbymerematerialmeans，for，astheoldphilosopheransweredonewhojeeredhimbecausehecouldnotgainthefavourofayounggirlhemadeloveto:
"Friend，thehookwillnotstickinsuchsoftcheese。"Itisacommercethatrequiresrelationandcorrespondence:theotherpleasureswereceivemaybeacknowledgedbyrecompensesofanothernature，butthisisnottobepaidbutwiththesamekindofcoin。Inearnest，inthissport，thepleasureIgivemoreticklesmyimaginationthanthattheygiveme;now，hehasnothingofgenerosityinhimwhocanreceivepleasurewhereheconfersnone——itmustneedsbeameansoulthatwilloweall，andcanbecontenttomaintainrelationswithpersonstowhomheisacontinualcharge;thereisnobeauty，grace，norprivacysoexquisitethatagentlemanoughttodesireatthisrate。Iftheycanonlybekindtousoutofpity，Ihadmuchratherdiethanliveuponcharity。Iwouldhaverighttoask，inthestylewhereinIheardthembeginItaly:"Fatebenpervoi，"——["Dogoodforyourself。"]——orafterthemannerthatCyrusexhortedhissoldiers，"Wholoveshimselflethimfollowme。"——"Consortyourself，"someonewillsaytome，"withwomenofyourowncondition，whomlikefortunewillrendermoreeasytoyourdesire。"Oridiculousandinsipidcomposition！
"NoloBarbamvelleremortuoleoni。"
["Iwouldnotpluckthebeardfromadeadlion。"——Martial]
XenophonlaysitforanobjectionandanaccusationagainstMenon，thathenevermadelovetoanybutoldwomen。Formypart，Itakemorepleasureinbutseeingthejustandsweetmixtureoftwoyoungbeauties，oronlyinmeditatingonitinmyfancy，thanmyselfinactingsecondinapitifulandimperfectconjunction;
[WhichCottonrenders，"Thantobemyselfanactorinthesecondwithadeformedcreature。"]
IleavethatfantasticappetitetotheEmperorGalba，whowasonlyforoldcurriedflesh:andtothispoorwretch:
"OegoDifacianttalemtocernerepossim，Caraquemutatisosculaferrecomis，Amplectiquemeiscorpusnonpinguelacertis！"
[Ovid，who（Ex。Ponto，i。4，49）writestohiswife，"OwouldthegodsarrangethatsuchImightseethee，andbringdearkissestothychangedlocks，andembracethywitheredbodywithmyarms"]
AmongstchiefdeformitiesIreckonforcedandartificialbeauties:Hemon，ayoungboyofChios，thinkingbyfinedressingtoacquirethebeautythatnaturehaddeniedhim，cametothephilosopherArcesilausandaskedhimifitwaspossibleforawisemantobeinlove——"Yes，"repliedhe，"provideditbenotwithafardedandadulteratedbeautylikethine。"
[DiogenesLaertius，iv。3？Thequestionwaswhetherawisemancouldlovehim。Cottonhas"Emonez，ayoungcourtezanofChios。"]
Uglinessofaconfessedantiquityistomelessoldandlessuglythananotherthatispolishedandplasteredup。ShallIspeakit，withoutthedangerofhavingmythroatcut？love，inmyopinion，isnotproperlyandnaturallyinitsseason，butintheagenexttochildhood，"Quemsipuellaruminserereschoro，Millesagacesfallerethospites，Discrimenobscurum，solutisCrinibusambiguoquevultu:"
["Whomifthoushouldstplaceinacompanyofgirls，itwouldrequireathousandexpertstodistinguishhim，withhislooselocksandambiguouscountenance。"——Horace，Od。，ii。5，21。]
norbeautyneither;forwhereasHomerextendsitsofarastothebuddingofthebeard，Platohimselfhasremarkedthisasrare:andthereasonwhythesophistBionsopleasantlycalledthefirstappearinghairsofadolescence’Aristogitons’and’Harmodiuses’—[Plutarch，OnLove，c。34。]——
issufficientlyknown。Ifinditinvirilityalreadyinsomesortalittleoutofdate，thoughnotsomuchasinoldage;
"ImportunusenimtransvolataridasQuercus。"
["Forituncivillypassesoverwitheredoaks。"
——Horace，Od。，iv。13，9。]
andMarguerite，QueenofNavarre，likeawoman，veryfarextendstheadvantageofwomen，ordainingthatitistime，atthirtyyearsold，toconvertthetitleoffairintothatofgood。Theshorterauthoritywegivetoloveoverourlives，’tissomuchthebetterforus。Dobutobservehisport;’tisabeardlessboy。Whoknowsnothow，inhisschooltheyproceedcontrarytoallorder;study，exercise，andusagearetheirwaysforinsufficiencytherenovicesrule:
"Amorordinemnescit。"
["Loveignoresrules。"（Or:）"Loveknowsnorule。"
——St。Jerome，LettertoChyomatius。
Doubtlesshisconductismuchmoregracefulwhenmixedwithinadvertencyandtrouble;miscarriagesandillsuccessesgivehimpointandgrace;
provideditbesharpandeager，’tisnogreatmatterwhetheritbeprudentorno:dobutobservehowhegoesreeling，tripping，andplaying:
youputhiminthestockswhenyouguidehimbyartandwisdom;andheisrestrainedofhisdivinelibertywhenputintothosehairyandcallousclutches。
Astotherest，Ioftenhearthewomensetoutthisintelligenceasentirelyspiritual，anddisdaintoputtheinterestthesensestherehaveintoconsideration;everythingthereserves;butIcansaythatIhaveoftenseenthatwehaveexcusedtheweaknessoftheirunderstandingsinfavouroftheiroutwardbeauty，buthaveneveryetseenthatinfavourofmind，howmatureandfullsoever，anyofthemwouldholdoutahandtoabodythatwasneversolittleindecadence。WhydoesnotsomeoneofthemtakeitintoherheadtomakethatnobleSocraticalbargainbetweenbodyandsoul，purchasingaphilosophicalandspiritualintelligenceandgenerationatthepriceofherthighs，whichisthehighestpriceshecangetforthem？PlatoordainsinhisLawsthathewhohasperformedanysignalandadvantageousexploitinwarmaynotberefusedduringthewholeexpedition，hisageoruglinessnotwithstanding，akissoranyotheramorousfavourfromanywomanwhatever。Whathethinkstobesojustinrecommendationofmilitaryvalour，whymayitnotbethesameinrecommendationofanyothergoodquality？andwhydoesnotsomewomantakeafancytopossessoverhercompanionsthegloryofthischastelove？Imaywellsaychaste;
"Namsiquandoadpraeliaventumest，Utquondaminstipulismagnussineviribusignis，Incassumfurit:"
["Forwhentheysometimesengageinlove’sbattle，hissterileardourlightsupbutastheflameofastraw。"
——Virgil，Georg。，iii。98。]
thevicesthatarestifledinthethoughtarenottheworst。
Toconcludethisnotablecommentary，whichhasescapedfrommeinatorrentofbabble，atorrentsometimesimpetuousandhurtful，"UtmissumsponsifurtivomuneremalumProcurritcastovirginisagremio，Quodmiseraeoblitaemollisubvestelocatuat，Dumadventumatrisprosilit，excutitur，AtqueilludpronopraecepsagiturdecursuHuicmanattristiconsciusorerubor。"
["Aswhenanapple，sentbyaloversecretlytohismistress，fallsfromthechastevirgin’sbosom，whereshehadquiteforgottenit;
when，startingathermother’scomingin，itisshakenoutandrollsoverthefloorbeforehereyes，aconsciousblushcoversherface。"
——Catullus，lxv。19。]
Isaythatmalesandfemalesarecastinthesamemould，andthat，educationandusageexcepted，thedifferenceisnotgreat。Platoindifferentlyinvitesboththeoneandtheothertothesocietyofallstudies，exercises，andvocations，bothmilitaryandcivil，inhisCommonwealth;andthephilosopherAntisthenesrejectedalldistinctionbetwixttheirvirtueandours。Itismuchmoreeasytoaccuseonesexthantoexcusetheother;’tisaccordingtothesaying，"Lefourgonsemoquedelapaele。"
["ThePotandtheKettle。"]
EndTheEssaysofMontaigne，V16
byMicheldeMontaigneTranslatedbyCharlesCottonEditedbyWilliamCarewHazilitt1877
CONTENTSOFVOLUME16。
VI。OfCoaches。
VII。OftheInconvenienceofGreatness。
VIII。OftheArtofConference。
CHAPTERVI
OFCOACHES
Itisveryeasytoverify，thatgreatauthors，whentheywriteofcauses，notonlymakeuseofthosetheythinktobethetruecauses，butalsoofthosetheybelievenottobeso，providedtheyhaveinthemsomebeautyandinvention:theyspeaktrueandusefullyenough，ifitbeingeniously。
Wecannotmakeourselvessureofthesupremecause，andthereforecrowdagreatmanytogether，toseeifitmaynotaccidentallybeamongstthem:
"NamqueunamdicerecausamNonsatisest，verumplures，undeunatamensit。"
[Lucretius，vi。704。——Thesenseisintheprecedingpassage。]
Doyouaskme，whencecomesthecustomofblessingthosewhosneeze？
Webreakwindthreeseveralways;thatwhichsalliesfrombelowistoofilthy;thatwhichbreaksoutfromthemouthcarrieswithitsomereproachofgluttony;thethirdissneezing，which，becauseitproceedsfromtheheadandiswithoutoffence，wegiveitthiscivilreception:donotlaughatthisdistinction;theysay’tisAristotle’s。
IthinkIhaveseeninPlutarch’（whoofalltheauthorsIknow，ishewhohasbestmixedartwithnature，andjudgmentwithknowledge），hisgivingasareasonforthe，risingofthestomachinthosewhoareatsea，thatitisoccasionedbyfear;havingfirstfoundoutsomereasonbywhichheprovesthatfearmayproducesuchaneffect。I，whoamverysubjecttoit，knowwellthatthiscauseconcernsnotme;andIknowit，notbyargument，butbynecessaryexperience。Withoutinstancingwhathasbeentoldme，thatthesamethingoftenhappensinbeasts，especiallyhogs，whoareoutofallapprehensionofdanger;andwhatanacquaintanceofminetoldmeofhimself，thatthoughverysubjecttoit，thedispositiontovomithasthreeorfourtimesgoneoffhim，beingveryafraidinaviolentstorm，asithappenedtothatancient:
"Pejusvexabar，quamutpericulummihisuccurreret;"
["Iwastooilltothinkofdanger。"（Orthereverse:）
"Iwastoofrightenedtobeill。"——Seneca，Ep。，53。2]
Iwasneverafraiduponthewater，norindeedinanyotherperil（andI
havehadenoughbeforemyeyesthatwouldhavesufficed，ifdeathbeone），soastobeastoundedtolosemyjudgment。Fearspringssometimesasmuchfromwantofjudgmentasfromwantofcourage。AllthedangersI
havebeeninIhavelookeduponwithoutwinking，withanopen，sound，andentiresight;and，indeed，amanmusthavecouragetofear。Itformerlyservedmebetterthanotherhelp，sotoorderandregulatemyretreat，thatitwas，ifnotwithoutfear，neverthelesswithoutaffrightandastonishment;itwasagitated，indeed，butnotamazedorstupefied。
Greatsoulsgoyetmuchfarther，andpresenttousflights，notonlysteadyandtemperate，butmoreoverlofty。LetusmakearelationofthatwhichAlcibiadesreportsofSocrates，hisfellowinarms:"Ifoundhim，"
sayshe，"aftertheroutofourarmy，himandLachez，lastamongthosewhofled，andconsideredhimatmyleisureandinsecurity，forIwasmountedonagoodhorse，andheonfoot，ashehadfought。Itooknotice，inthefirstplace，howmuchjudgmentandresolutionheshowed，incomparisonofLachez，andthenthebraveryofhismarch，nothingdifferentfromhisordinarygait;hissightfirmandregular，consideringandjudgingwhatpassedabouthim，lookingonewhileuponthose，andthenuponothers，friendsandenemies，aftersuchamannerasencouragedthose，andsignifiedtotheothersthathewouldsellhislifedeartoanyonewhoshouldattempttotakeitfromhim，andsotheycameoff;forpeoplearenotwillingtoattacksuchkindofmen，butpursuethosetheyseeareinafright。"Thatisthetestimonyofthisgreatcaptain，whichteachesus，whatweeverydayexperience，thatnothingsomuchthrowsusintodangersasaninconsiderateeagernessofgettingourselvesclearofthem:
"Quotimorisminusest，eominusfermepericuliest。"