`It'sDiana，isit，'mutteredGerald。`Theyoungmonkey，she'dhavetobeuptosomeofhertricks。'
　　Andheglancedagainatthepaddle，theboatwasnotgoingquicklyenoughforhim。ItmadeGudrunalmosthelplessattherowing，thisnervousstress。
　　Shekeptupwithallhermight。Stillthevoiceswerecallingandanswering。
　　`Where，where？Thereyouare——that'sit。Which？No——No—o—o。Damnitall，here，here——'Boatswerehurryingfromalldirectionstothescene，colouredlanternscouldbeseenwavingclosetothesurfaceofthelake，reflectionsswayingaftertheminunevenhaste。Thesteamerhootedagain，forsomeunknownreason。Gudrun'sboatwastravellingquickly，thelanternswereswingingbehindGerald。
　　Andthenagaincamethechild'shigh，screamingvoice，withanoteofweepingandimpatienceinitnow:
　　`Di——OhDi——OhDi——Di——！'
　　Itwasaterriblesound，comingthroughtheobscureairoftheevening。
　　`You'dbebetterifyouwereinbed，Winnie，'Geraldmutteredtohimself。
　　Hewasstoopingunlacinghisshoes，pushingthemoffwiththefoot。
　　Thenhethrewhissofthatintothebottomoftheboat。
　　`Youcan'tgointothewaterwithyourhurthand，'saidGudrun，panting，inalowvoiceofhorror。
　　`What？Itwon'thurt。'
　　Hehadstruggledoutofhisjacket，andhaddroppeditbetweenhisfeet。
　　Hesatbare—headed，allinwhitenow。Hefeltthebeltathiswaist。Theywerenearingthelaunch，whichstoodstillbigabovethem，hermyriadlampsmakinglovelydarts，andsinuousrunningtonguesofuglyredandgreenandyellowlightonthelustrousdarkwater，undertheshadow。
　　`Ohgetherout！OhDi，darling！Ohgetherout！OhDaddy，OhDaddy！'moanedthechild'svoice，indistraction。Somebodywasinthewater，withalifebelt。Twoboatspaddlednear，theirlanternsswingingineffectually，theboatsnosinground。
　　`Hithere——Rockley！——hithere！'
　　`MrGerald！'camethecaptain'sterrifiedvoice。`MissDiana'sinthewater。'
　　`Anybodygoneinforher？'cameGerald'ssharpvoice。
　　`YoungDoctorBrindell，sir。'
　　`Where？'
　　`Can'tseenosignsofthem，sir。Everybody'slooking，butthere'snothingsofar。'
　　Therewasamoment'sominouspause。
　　`Wheredidshegoin？'
　　`Ithink——aboutwherethatboatis，'cametheuncertainanswer，`thatonewithredandgreenlights。'
　　`Rowthere，'saidGeraldquietlytoGudrun。
　　`Getherout，Gerald，ohgetherout，'thechild'svoicewascryinganxiously。Hetooknoheed。
　　`Leanbackthatway，'saidGeraldtoGudrun，ashestoodupinthefrailboat。`Shewon'tupset。'
　　Inanothermoment，hehaddroppedcleandown，softandplumb，intothewater。Gudrunwasswayingviolentlyinherboat，theagitatedwatershookwithtransientlights，sherealisedthatitwasfaintlymoonlight，andthathewasgone。Soitwaspossibletobegone。Aterriblesenseoffatalityrobbedherofallfeelingandthought。Sheknewhewasgoneoutoftheworld，therewasmerelythesameworld，andabsence，hisabsence。Thenightseemedlargeandvacuous。Lanternsswayedhereandthere，peopleweretalkinginanundertoneonthelaunchandintheboats。ShecouldhearWinifredmoaning:`OhdofindherGerald，dofindher，'andsomeonetryingtocomfortthechild。Gudrunpaddledaimlesslyhereandthere。Theterrible，massive，cold，boundlesssurfaceofthewaterterrifiedherbeyondwords。
　　Wouldhenevercomeback？Shefeltshemustjumpintothewatertoo，toknowthehorroralso。
　　Shestarted，hearingsomeonesay:`Thereheis。'Shesawthemovementofhisswimming，likeawater—rat。Andsherowedinvoluntarilytohim。
　　Buthewasnearanotherboat，abiggerone。Stillsherowedtowardshim。
　　Shemustbeverynear。Shesawhim——helookedlikeaseal。Helookedlikeasealashetookholdofthesideoftheboat。Hisfairhairwaswasheddownonhisroundhead，hisfaceseemedtoglistensuavely。Shecouldhearhimpanting。
　　Thenheclamberedintotheboat。Oh，andthebeautyofthesubjectionofhisloins，whiteanddimlyluminousasbeclimbedoverthesideoftheboat，madeherwanttodie，todie。Thebeautyofhisdimandluminousloinsasbeclimbedintotheboat，hisbackroundedandsoft——ah，thiswastoomuchforher，toofinalavision。Sheknewit，anditwasfatalTheterriblehopelessnessoffate，andofbeauty，suchbeauty！
　　Hewasnotlikeamantoher，hewasanincarnation，agreatphaseoflife。Shesawhimpressthewateroutofhisface，andlookatthebandageonhishand。Andsheknewitwasallnogood，andthatshewouldnevergobeyondhim，hewasthefinalapproximationoflifetoher。
　　`Putthelightsout，weshallseebetter，'camehisvoice，suddenandmechanicalandbelongingtotheworldofman。Shecouldscarcelybelievetherewasaworldofman。Sheleanedroundandblewoutherlanterns。Theyweredifficulttoblowout。Everywherethelightsweregonesavethecolouredpointsonthesidesofthelaunch。Theblueygrey，earlynightspreadlevelaround，themoonwasoverhead，therewereshadowsofboatshereandthere。
　　Againtherewasasplash，andhewasgoneunder。Gudrunsat，sickatheart，frightenedofthegreat，levelsurfaceofthewater，soheavyanddeadly。Shewassoalone，withthelevel，unlivingfieldofthewaterstretchingbeneathher。Itwasnotagoodisolation，itwasaterrible，coldseparationofsuspense。Shewassuspendeduponthesurfaceoftheinsidiousrealityuntilsuchtimeasshealsoshoulddisappearbeneathit。
　　Thensheknew，byastirringofvoices，thathehadclimbedoutagain，intoaboat。Shesatwantingconnectionwithhim。Strenuouslysheclaimedherconnectionwithhim，acrosstheinvisiblespaceofthewater。Butroundherheartwasanisolationunbearable，throughwhichnothingwouldpenetrate。
　　`Takethelaunchin。It'snousekeepingherthere。Getlinesforthedragging，'camethedecisive，instrumentalvoice，thatwasfullofthesoundoftheworld。
　　Thelaunchbegangraduallytobeatthewaters。
　　`Gerald！Gerald！'camethewildcryingvoiceofWinifred。Hedidnotanswer。Slowlythelaunchdriftedroundinapathetic，clumsycircle，andslunkawaytotheland，retreatingintothedimness。Thewashofherpaddlesgrewduller。Gudrunrockedinherlightboat，anddippedthepaddleautomaticallytosteadyherself。
　　`Gudrun？'calledUrsula'svoice。
　　`Ursula！'
　　Theboatsofthetwosisterspulledtogether。
　　`WhereisGerald？'saidGudrun。
　　`He'sdivedagain，'saidUrsulaplaintively。`AndIknowheoughtnot，withhishurthandandeverything。'
　　`I'lltakehiminhomethistime，'saidBirkin。
　　Theboatsswayedagainfromthewashofsteamer。GudrunandUrsulakeptalook—outforGerald。
　　`Thereheis！'criedUrsula，whohadthesharpesteyes。Hehadnotbeenlongunder。Birkinpulledtowardshim，Gudrunfollowing。Heswamslowly，andcaughtholdoftheboatwithhiswoundedhand。Itslipped，andhesankback。
　　`Whydon'tyouhelphim？'criedUrsulasharply。
　　Hecameagain，andBirkinleanedtohelphimintotheboat。GudrunagainwatchedGeraldclimboutofthewater，butthistimeslowly，heavily，withtheblindclamberingmotionsofanamphibiousbeast，clumsy。Againthemoonshonewithfaintluminosityonhiswhitewetfigure，onthestoopingbackandtheroundedloins。Butitlookeddefeatednow，hisbody，itclamberedandfellwithslowclumsiness。Hewasbreathinghoarselytoo，likeananimalthatissuffering。Hesatslackandmotionlessintheboat，hisheadbluntandblindlikeaseal's，hiswholeappearanceinhuman，unknowing。Gudrunshudderedasshemechanicallyfollowedhisboat。Birkinrowedwithoutspeakingtothelanding—stage。
　　`Whereareyougoing？'Geraldaskedsuddenly，asifjustwakingup。
　　`Home，'saidBirkin。
　　`Ohno！'saidGeraldimperiously。`Wecan'tgohomewhilethey'reinthewater。Turnbackagain，I'mgoingtofindthem。'Thewomenwerefrightened，hisvoicewassoimperativeanddangerous，almostmad，nottobeopposed。
　　`No！'saidBirkin。`Youcan't。'Therewasastrangefluidcompulsioninhisvoice。Geraldwassilentinabattleofwills。Itwasasifhewouldkilltheotherman。ButBirkinrowedevenlyandunswerving，withaninhumaninevitability。
　　`Whyshouldyouinterfere？'saidGerald，inhate。
　　Birkindidnotanswer。Herowedtowardstheland。AndGeraldsatmute，likeadumbbeast，panting，histeethchattering，hisarmsinert，hisheadlikeaseal'shead。
　　Theycametothelanding—stage。Wetandnaked—looking，Geraldclimbedupthefewsteps。Therestoodhisfather，inthenight。
　　`Father！'hesaid。
　　`Yesmyboy？Gohomeandgetthosethingsoff。'
　　`Weshan'tsavethem，father，'saidGerald。
　　`There'shopeyet，myboy。'
　　`I'mafraidnot。There'snoknowingwheretheyare。Youcan'tfindthem。
　　Andthere'sacurrent，ascoldashell。'
　　`We'llletthewaterout，'saidthefather。`Gohomeyouandlooktoyourself。Seethathe'slookedafter，Rupert，'headdedinaneutralvoice。
　　`Wellfather，I'msorry。I'msorry。I'mafraidit'smyfault。Butitcan'tbehelped;I'vedonewhatIcouldforthemoment。Icouldgoondiving，ofcourse——notmuch，though——andnotmuchuse——'
　　Hemovedawaybarefoot，ontheplanksoftheplatform。Thenhetrodonsomethingsharp。
　　`Ofcourse，you'vegotnoshoeson，'saidBirkin。
　　`Hisshoesarehere！'criedGudrunfrombelow。Shewasmakingfastherboat。
　　Geraldwaitedforthemtobebroughttohim。Gudruncamewiththem。
　　Hepulledthemonhisfeet。
　　`Ifyouoncedie，'hesaid，`thenwhenit'sover，it'sfinished。Whycometolifeagain？There'sroomunderthatwaterthereforthousands。'
　　`Twoisenough，'shesaidmurmuring。
　　Hedraggedonhissecondshoe。Hewasshiveringviolently，andhisjawshookashespoke。
　　`That'strue，'hesaid，`maybe。Butit'scurioushowmuchroomthereseems，awholeuniverseunderthere;andascoldashell，you'reashelplessasifyourheadwascutoff。'Hecouldscarcelyspeak，heshooksoviolently。
　　`There'sonethingaboutourfamily，youknow，'hecontinued。`Onceanythinggoeswrong，itcanneverbeputrightagain——notwithus。I'venoticeditallmylife——youcan'tputathingright，onceithasgonewrong。'
　　Theywerewalkingacrossthehigh—roadtothehouse。
　　`Anddoyouknow，whenyouaredownthere，itissocold，actually，andsoendless，sodifferentreallyfromwhatitisontop，soendless——youwonderhowitissomanyarealive，whywe'reuphere。Areyougoing？
　　Ishallseeyouagain，shan'tI？Good—night，andthankyou。Thankyouverymuch！'
　　Thetwogirlswaitedawhile，toseeiftherewereanyhope。Themoonshoneclearlyoverhead，withalmostimpertinentbrightness，thesmalldarkboatsclusteredonthewater，therewerevoicesandsubduedshouts。Butitwasalltonopurpose。GudrunwenthomewhenBirkinreturned。
　　Hewascommissionedtoopenthesluicethatletoutthewaterfromthelake，whichwaspiercedatoneend，nearthehigh—road，thusservingasareservoirtosupplywithwaterthedistantmines，incaseofnecessity。
　　`Comewithme，'hesaidtoUrsula，`andthenIwillwalkhomewithyou，whenI'vedonethis。'
　　Hecalledatthewater—keeper'scottageandtookthekeyofthesluice。
　　Theywentthroughalittlegatefromthehigh—road，totheheadofthewater，wherewasagreatstonebasinwhichreceivedtheoverflow，andaflightofstonestepsdescendedintothedepthsofthewateritself。Attheheadofthestepswasthelockofthesluice—gate。
　　Thenightwassilver—greyandperfect，saveforthescatteredrestlesssoundofvoices。Thegreysheenofthemoonlightcaughtthestretchofwater，darkboatsplashedandmoved。ButUrsula'smindceasedtobereceptive，everythingwasunimportantandunreal。
　　Birkinfixedtheironhandleofthesluice，andturneditwithawrench。
　　Thecogsbeganslowlytorise。Heturnedandturned，likeaslave，hiswhitefigurebecamedistinct。Ursulalookedaway。Shecouldnotbeartoseehimwindingheavilyandlaboriously，bendingandrisingmechanicallylikeaslave，turningthehandle。
　　Then，arealshocktoher，therecamealoudsplashingofwaterfromoutofthedark，tree—filledhollowbeyondtheroad，asplashingthatdeepenedrapidlytoaharshroar，andthenbecameaheavy，boomingnoiseofagreatbodyofwaterfallingsolidlyallthetime。Itoccupiedthewholeofthenight，thisgreatsteadyboomingofwater，everythingwasdrownedwithinit，drownedandlost。Ursulaseemedtohavetostruggleforherlife。Sheputherhandsoverherears，andlookedatthehighblandmoon。
　　`Can'twegonow？'shecriedtoBirkin，whowaswatchingthewateronthesteps，toseeifitwouldgetanylower。Itseemedtofascinatehim。
　　Helookedatherandnodded。
　　Thelittledarkboatshadmovednearer，peoplewerecrowdingcuriouslyalongthehedgebythehigh—road，toseewhatwastobeseen。BirkinandUrsulawenttothecottagewiththekey，thenturnedtheirbacksonthelake。Shewasingreathaste。Shecouldnotbeartheterriblecrushingboomoftheescapingwater。
　　`Doyouthinktheyaredead？'shecriedinahighvoice，tomakeherselfheard。
　　`Yes，'hereplied。
　　`Isn'tithorrible！'
　　Hepaidnoheed。Theywalkedupthehill，furtherandfurtherawayfromthenoise。
　　`Doyoumindverymuch？'sheaskedhim。
　　`Idon'tmindaboutthedead，'hesaid，`oncetheyaredead。Theworstofitis，theyclingontotheliving，andwon'tletgo。'
　　Sheponderedforatime。
　　`Yes，'shesaid。`Thefactofdeathdoesn'treallyseemtomattermuch，doesit？'
　　`No，'hesaid。`WhatdoesitmatterifDianaCrichisaliveordead？'
　　`Doesn'tit？'shesaid，shocked。
　　`No，whyshouldit？Bettersheweredead——she'llbemuchmorereal。
　　She'llbepositiveindeath。Inlifeshewasafretting，negatedthing。'
　　`Youareratherhorrible，'murmuredUrsula。
　　`No！I'dratherDianaCrichweredead。Herlivingsomehow，wasallwrong。
　　Asfortheyoungman，poordevil——he'llfindhiswayoutquicklyinsteadofslowly。Deathisallright——nothingbetter。'
　　`Yetyoudon'twanttodie，'shechallengedhim。
　　Hewassilentforatime。Thenhesaid，inavoicethatwasfrighteningtoherinitschange:
　　`Ishouldliketobethroughwithit——Ishouldliketobethroughwiththedeathprocess。'
　　`Andaren'tyou？'askedUrsulanervously。
　　Theywalkedonforsomewayinsilence，underthetrees。Thenhesaid，slowly，asifafraid:
　　`Thereislifewhichbelongstodeath，andthereislifewhichisn'tdeath。Oneistiredofthelifethatbelongstodeath——ourkindoflife。
　　Butwhetheritisfinished，Godknows。Iwantlovethatislikesleep，likebeingbornagain，vulnerableasababythatjustcomesintotheworld。'
　　Ursulalistened，halfattentive，halfavoidingwhathesaid。Sheseemedtocatchthedriftofhisstatement，andthenshedrewaway。Shewantedtohear，butshedidnotwanttobeimplicated。Shewasreluctanttoyieldthere，wherehewantedher，toyieldasitwereherveryidentity。
　　`Whyshouldlovebelikesleep？'sheaskedsadly。
　　`Idon'tknow。Sothatitislikedeath——Idowanttodiefromthislife——andyetitismorethanlifeitself。Oneisdeliveredoverlikeanakedinfantfromthewomb，alltheolddefencesandtheoldbodygone，andnewairaroundone，thathasneverbeenbreathedbefore。'
　　Shelistened，makingoutwhathesaid。Sheknew，aswellasheknew，thatwordsthemselvesdonotconveymeaning，thattheyarebutagesturewemake，adumbshowlikeanyother。Andsheseemedtofeelhisgesturethroughherblood，andshedrewback，eventhoughherdesiresentherforward。
　　`But，'shesaidgravely，`didn'tyousayyouwantedsomethingthatwasnotlove——somethingbeyondlove？'
　　Heturnedinconfusion。Therewasalwaysconfusioninspeech。Yetitmustbespoken。Whicheverwayonemoved，ifoneweretomoveforwards，onemustbreakawaythrough。Andtoknow，togiveutterance，wastobreakawaythroughthewallsoftheprisonastheinfantinlabourstrivesthroughthewallsofthewomb。Thereisnonewmovementnow，withoutthebreakingthroughoftheoldbody，deliberately，inknowledge，inthestruggletogetout。
　　`Idon'twantlove，'hesaid。`Idon'twanttoknowyou。Iwanttobegoneoutofmyself，andyoutobelosttoyourself，sowearefounddifferent。
　　Oneshouldn'ttalkwhenoneistiredandwretched。OneHamletises，anditseemsalie。OnlybelievemewhenIshowyouabitofhealthyprideandinsouciance。Ihatemyselfserious。'
　　`Whyshouldn'tyoubeserious？'shesaid。
　　Hethoughtforaminute，thenhesaid，sulkily:
　　`Idon'tknow。'Thentheywalkedoninsilence，atouts。Hewasvagueandlost。
　　`Isn'titstrange，'shesaid，suddenlyputtingherhandonhisarm，withalovingimpulse，`howwealwaystalklikethis！Isupposewedoloveeachother，insomeway。'
　　`Ohyes，'hesaid;`toomuch。'
　　Shelaughedalmostgaily。
　　`You'dhavetohaveityourownway，wouldn'tyou？'sheteased。`Youcouldnevertakeitontrust。'
　　Hechanged，laughedsoftly，andturnedandtookherinhisarms，inthemiddleoftheroad。
　　`Yes，'hesaidsoftly。
　　Andhekissedherfaceandbrow，slowly，gently，withasortofdelicatehappinesswhichsurprisedherextremely，andtowhichshecouldnotrespond。
　　Theyweresoft，blindkisses，perfectintheirstillness。Yetsheheldbackfromthem。Itwaslikestrangemoths，verysoftandsilent，settlingonherfromthedarknessofhersoul。Shewasuneasy。Shedrewaway。
　　`Isn'tsomebodycoming？'shesaid。
　　Sotheylookeddownthedarkroad，thensetoffagainwalkingtowardsBeldover。Thensuddenly，toshowhimshewasnoshallowprude，shestoppedandheldhimtight，hardagainsther，andcoveredhisfacewithhard，fiercekissesofpassion。Inspiteofhisotherness，theoldbloodbeatupinhim。
　　`Notthis，notthis，'hewhimperedtohimself，asthefirstperfectmoodofsoftnessandsleep—lovelinessebbedbackawayfromtherushingofpassionthatcameuptohislimbsandoverhisfaceasshedrewhim。
　　Andsoonhewasaperfecthardflameofpassionatedesireforher。Yetinthesmallcoreoftheflamewasanunyieldinganguishofanotherthing。
　　Butthisalsowaslost;heonlywantedher，withanextremedesirethatseemedinevitableasdeath，beyondquestion。
　　Then，satisfiedandshattered，fulfilledanddestroyed，hewenthomeawayfromher，driftingvaguelythroughthedarkness，lapsedintotheoldfireofburningpassion。Faraway，faraway，thereseemedtobeasmalllamentinthedarkness。Butwhatdiditmatter？Whatdiditmatter，whatdidanythingmattersavethisultimateandtriumphantexperienceofphysicalpassion，thathadblazedupanewlikeanewspelloflife。`Iwasbecomingquitedead—alive，nothingbutaword—bag，'hesaidintriumph，scorninghisotherself。Yetsomewherefaroffandsmall，theotherhovered。
　　Themenwerestilldraggingthelakewhenhegotback。HestoodonthebankandheardGerald'svoice。Thewaterwasstillboominginthenight，themoonwasfair，thehillsbeyondwereelusive。Thelakewassinking。
　　Therecametherawsmellofthebanks，inthenightair。
　　UpatShortlandstherewerelightsinthewindows，asifnobodyhadgonetobed。Onthelanding—stagewastheolddoctor，thefatheroftheyoungmanwhowaslost。Hestoodquitesilent，waiting。Birkinalsostoodandwatched，Geraldcameupinaboat。
　　`Youstillhere，Rupert？'hesaid。`Wecan'tgetthem。Thebottomslopes，youknow，verysteep。Thewaterliesbetweentwoverysharpslopes，withlittlebranchvalleys，andGodknowswherethedriftwilltakeyou。Itisn'tasifitwasalevelbottom。Youneverknowwhereyouare，withthedragging。'
　　`Isthereanyneedforyoutobeworking？'saidBirkin。`Wouldn'titbemuchbetterifyouwenttobed？'
　　`Tobed！GoodGod，doyouthinkIshouldsleep？We'llfind'em，beforeIgoawayfromhere。'
　　`Butthemenwouldfindthemjustthesamewithoutyou——whyshouldyouinsist？'
　　Geraldlookedupathim。ThenheputhishandaffectionatelyonBirkin'sshoulder，saying:
　　`Don'tyoubotheraboutme，Rupert。Ifthere'sanybody'shealthtothinkabout，it'syours，notmine。Howdoyoufeelyourself？'
　　`Verywell。Butyou，youspoilyourownchanceoflife——youwasteyourbestself。'
　　Geraldwassilentforamoment。Thenhesaid:
　　`Wasteit？Whatelseistheretodowithit？'
　　`Butleavethis，won'tyou？Youforceyourselfintohorrors，andputamill—stoneofbeastlymemoriesroundyourneck。Comeawaynow。'
　　`Amill—stoneofbeastlymemories！'Geraldrepeated。ThenheputhishandagainaffectionatelyonBirkin'sshoulder。`God，you'vegotsuchatellingwayofputtingthings，Rupert，youhave。'
　　Birkin'sheartsank。Hewasirritatedandwearyofhavingatellingwayofputtingthings。
　　`Won'tyouleaveit？Comeovertomyplace'——heurgedasoneurgesadrunkenman。
　　`No，'saidGeraldcoaxingly，hisarmacrosstheotherman'sshoulder。
　　`Thanksverymuch，Rupert——Ishallbegladtocometomorrow，ifthat'lldo。Youunderstand，don'tyou？Iwanttoseethisjobthrough。ButI'llcometomorrow，rightenough。Oh，I'drathercomeandhaveachatwithyouthan——thandoanythingelse，Iverilybelieve。Yes，Iwould。Youmeanalottome，Rupert，morethanyouknow。'
　　`WhatdoImean，morethanIknow？'askedBirkinirritably。HewasacutelyawareofGerald'shandonhisshoulder。Andhedidnotwantthisaltercation。
　　Hewantedtheothermantocomeoutoftheuglymisery。
　　`I'lltellyouanothertime，'saidGeraldcoaxingly。
　　`Comealongwithmenow——Iwantyoutocome，'saidBirkin。
　　Therewasapause，intenseandreal。Birkinwonderedwhyhisownheartbeatsoheavily。ThenGerald'sfingersgrippedhardandcommunicativeintoBirkin'sshoulder，ashesaid:
　　`No，I'llseethisjobthrough，Rupert。Thankyou——Iknowwhatyoumean。We'reallright，youknow，youandme。'
　　`Imaybeallright，butI'msureyou'renot，muckingabouthere，'saidBirkin。Andhewentaway。
　　Thebodiesofthedeadwerenotrecoveredtilltowardsdawn。Dianahadherarmstightroundtheneckoftheyoungman，chokinghim。
　　`Shekilledhim，'saidGerald。
　　Themoonslopeddowntheskyandsankatlast。Thelakewassunktoquartersize，ithadhorriblerawbanksofclay，thatsmelledofrawrottenishwater。Dawnrousedfaintlybehindtheeasternhill。Thewaterstillboomedthroughthesluice。
　　Asthebirdswerewhistlingforthefirstmorning，andthehillsatthebackofthedesolatelakestoodradiantwiththenewmists，therewasastragglingprocessionuptoShortlands，menbearingthebodiesonastretcher，Geraldgoingbesidethem，thetwogrey—beardedfathersfollowinginsilence。
　　Indoorsthefamilywasallsittingup，waiting。Somebodymustgototellthemother，inherroom。Thedoctorinsecretstruggledtobringbackhisson，tillhehimselfwasexhausted。
　　OveralltheoutlyingdistrictwasahushofdreadfulexcitementonthatSundaymorning。Thecollierypeoplefeltasifthiscatastrophehadhappeneddirectlytothemselves，indeedtheyweremoreshockedandfrightenedthaniftheirownmenhadbeenkilled。SuchatragedyinShortlands，thehighhomeofthedistrict！Oneoftheyoungmistresses，persistingindancingonthecabinroofofthelaunch，wilfulyoungmadam，drownedinthemidstofthefestival，withtheyoungdoctor！EverywhereontheSundaymorning，thecollierswanderedabout，discussingthecalamity。AtalltheSundaydinnersofthepeople，thereseemedastrangepresence。Itwasasiftheangelofdeathwereverynear，therewasasenseofthesupernaturalintheair。Themenhadexcited，startledfaces，thewomenlookedsolemn，someofthemhadbeencrying。Thechildrenenjoyedtheexcitementatfirst。
　　Therewasanintensityintheair，almostmagical。Didallenjoyit？Didallenjoythethrill？
　　GudrunhadwildideasofrushingtocomfortGerald。Shewasthinkingallthetimeoftheperfectcomforting，reassuringthingtosaytohim。
　　Shewasshockedandfrightened，butsheputthataway，thinkingofhowsheshoulddeportherselfwithGerald:actherpart。Thatwastherealthrill:howsheshouldactherpart。
　　UrsulawasdeeplyandpassionatelyinlovewithBirkin，andshewascapableofnothing。Shewasperfectlycallousaboutallthetalkoftheaccident，butherestrangedairlookedliketrouble。Shemerelysatbyherself，whenevershecould，andlongedtoseehimagain。Shewantedhimtocometothehouse，——shewouldnothaveitotherwise，hemustcomeatonce。Shewaswaitingforhim。Shestayedindoorsallday，waitingforhimtoknockatthedoor。Everyminute，sheglancedautomaticallyatthewindow。Hewouldbethere。
　　WomenInLove:Chapter15CHAPTERXVSundayEveningASTHEDAYworeon，thelife—bloodseemedtoebbawayfromUrsula，andwithintheemptinessaheavydespairgathered。Herpassionseemedtobleedtodeath，andtherewasnothing。Shesatsuspendedinastateofcompletenullity，hardertobearthandeath。
　　`Unlesssomethinghappens，'shesaidtoherself，intheperfectlucidityoffinalsuffering，`Ishalldie。Iamattheendofmylineoflife。'
　　Shesatcrushedandobliteratedinadarknessthatwastheborderofdeath。Sherealisedhowallherlifeshehadbeendrawingnearerandnearertothisbrink，wheretherewasnobeyond，fromwhichonehadtoleaplikeSapphointotheunknown。Theknowledgeoftheimminenceofdeathwaslikeadrug。Darkly，withoutthinkingatall，sheknewthatshewasneartodeath。Shehadtravelledallherlifealongthelineoffulfilment，anditwasnearlyconcluded。Sheknewallshehadtoknow，shehadexperiencedallshehadtoexperience，shewasfulfilledinakindofbitterripeness，thereremainedonlytofallfromthetreeintodeath。Andonemustfulfilone'sdevelopmenttotheend，mustcarrytheadventuretoitsconclusion。
　　Andthenextstepwasovertheborderintodeath。Soitwasthen！Therewasacertainpeaceintheknowledge。
　　Afterall，whenonewasfulfilled，onewashappiestinfallingintodeath，asabitterfruitplungesinitsripenessdownwards。Deathisagreatconsummation，aconsummatingexperience。Itisadevelopmentfromlife。Thatweknow，whileweareyetliving。Whatthenneedwethinkforfurther？Onecanneverseebeyondtheconsummation。Itisenoughthatdeathisagreatandconclusiveexperience。Whyshouldweaskwhatcomesaftertheexperience，whentheexperienceisstillunknowntous？Letusdie，sincethegreatexperienceistheonethatfollowsnowuponalltherest，death，whichisthenextgreatcrisisinfrontofwhichwehavearrived。