Headjustedhimselfatonce，becamenormallydistant。
　　`IfIfindIcanlivesufficientlybymyself，'hecontinued，`Ishallgiveupmyworkaltogether。Ithasbecomedeadtome。Idon'tbelieveinthehumanityIpretendtobepartof，Idon'tcareastrawforthesocialidealsIliveby，Ihatethedyingorganicformofsocialmankind——soitcan'tbeanythingbuttrumpery，toworkateducation。IshalldropitassoonasIamclearenough——tomorrowperhaps——andbebymyself。'
　　`Haveyouenoughtoliveon？'askedUrsula。
　　`Yes——I'veaboutfourhundredayear。Thatmakesiteasyforme。'
　　Therewasapause。
　　`AndwhataboutHermione？'askedUrsula。
　　`That'sover，finally——apurefailure，andnevercouldhavebeenanythingelse。'
　　`Butyoustillknoweachother？'
　　`Wecouldhardlypretendtobestrangers，couldwe？'
　　Therewasastubbornpause。
　　`Butisn'tthatahalf—measure？'askedUrsulaatlength。
　　`Idon'tthinkso，'hesaid。`You'llbeabletotellmeifitis。'
　　Againtherewasapauseofsomeminutes'duration。Hewasthinking。
　　`Onemustthroweverythingaway，everything——leteverythinggo，togettheonelastthingonewants，'hesaid。
　　`Whatthing？'sheaskedinchallenge。
　　`Idon'tknow——freedomtogether，'hesaid。
　　Shehadwantedhimtosay`love。'
　　Therewasheardaloudbarkingofthedogsbelow。Heseemeddisturbedbyit。Shedidnotnotice。Onlyshethoughtheseemeduneasy。
　　`Asamatteroffact，'hesaid，inratherasmallvoice，`IbelievethatisHermionecomenow，withGeraldCrich。Shewantedtoseetheroomsbeforetheyarefurnished。'
　　`Iknow，'saidUrsula。`Shewillsuperintendthefurnishingforyou。'
　　`Probably。Doesitmatter？'
　　`Ohno，Ishouldthinknot，'saidUrsula。`Thoughpersonally，Ican'tbearher。Ithinksheisalie，ifyoulike，youwhoarealwaystalkingaboutlies。'Thensheruminatedforamoment，whenshebrokeout:`Yes，andIdomindifshefurnishesyourrooms——Idomind。Imindthatyoukeepherhangingonatall。'
　　Hewassilentnow，frowning。
　　`Perhaps，'hesaid。`Idon'twanthertofurnishtheroomshere——andIdon'tkeepherhangingon。Only，Ineedn'tbechurlishtoher，needI？Atanyrate，Ishallhavetogodownandseethemnow。You'llcome，won'tyou？'
　　`Idon'tthinkso，'shesaidcoldlyandirresolutely。
　　`Won'tyou？Yesdo。Comeandseetheroomsaswell。Docome。'
　　WomenInLove:Chapter12CHAPTERXIICarpetingHESETOFFdownthebank，andshewentunwillinglywithhim。Yetshewouldnothavestayedaway，either。
　　`Weknoweachotherwell，youandI，already，'hesaid。Shedidnotanswer。
　　Inthelargedarkishkitchenofthemill，thelabourer'swifewastalkingshrillytoHermioneandGerald，whostood，heinwhiteandsheinaglisteningbluishfoulard，strangelyluminousintheduskoftheroom;whilstfromthecagesonthewalls，adozenormorecanariessangatthetopoftheirvoices。Thecageswereallplacedroundasmallsquarewindowattheback，wherethesunshinecamein，abeautifulbeam，filteringthroughgreenleavesofatree。ThevoiceofMrsSalmonshrilledagainstthenoiseofthebirds，whichroseevermorewildandtriumphant，andthewoman'svoicewentupandupagainstthem，andthebirdsrepliedwithwildanimation。
　　`Here'sRupert！'shoutedGeraldinthemidstofthedin。Hewassufferingbadly，beingverysensitiveintheear。
　　`O—o—hthembirds，theywon'tletyouspeak——！'shrilledthelabourer'swifeindisgust。`I'llcoverthemup。'
　　Andshedartedhereandthere，throwingaduster，anapron，atowel，atable—clothoverthecagesofthebirds。
　　`Nowwillyoustopit，andletabodyspeakforyourrow，'shesaid，stillinavoicethatwastoohigh。
　　Thepartywatchedher。Soonthecageswerecovered，theyhadastrangefunereallook。Butfromunderthetowelsodddefianttrillsandbubblingsstillshookout。
　　`Oh，theywon'tgoon，'saidMrsSalmonreassuringly。`They'llgotosleepnow。'
　　`Really，'saidHermione，politely。
　　`Theywill，'saidGerald。`Theywillgotosleepautomatically，nowtheimpressionofeveningisproduced。'
　　`Aretheysoeasilydeceived？'criedUrsula。
　　`Oh，yes，'repliedGerald。`Don'tyouknowthestoryofFabre，who，whenhewasaboy，putahen'sheadunderherwing，andshestraightawaywenttosleep？It'squitetrue。'
　　`Anddidthatmakehimanaturalist？'askedBirkin。
　　`Probably，'saidGerald。
　　MeanwhileUrsulawaspeepingunderoneofthecloths。Theresatthecanaryinacorner，bunchedandfluffedupforsleep。
　　`Howridiculous！'shecried。`Itreallythinksthenighthascome！Howabsurd！Really，howcanonehaveanyrespectforacreaturethatissoeasilytakenin！'
　　`Yes，'sangHermione，comingalsotolook。SheputherhandonUrsula'sarmandchuckledalowlaugh。`Yes，doesn'thelookcomical？'shechuckled。
　　`Likeastupidhusband。'
　　Then，withherhandstillonUrsula'sarm，shedrewheraway，saying，inhermildsing—song:
　　`Howdidyoucomehere？WesawGudruntoo。'
　　`Icametolookatthepond，'saidUrsula，`andIfoundMrBirkinthere。'
　　`Didyou？ThisisquiteaBrangwenland，isn'tit！'
　　`I'mafraidIhopedso，'saidUrsula。`Iranhereforrefuge，whenI
　　sawyoudownthelake，justputtingoff。'
　　`Didyou！Andnowwe'verunyoutoearth。'
　　Hermione'seyelidsliftedwithanuncannymovement，amusedbutoverwrought。
　　Shehadalwaysherstrange，raptlook，unnaturalandirresponsible。
　　`Iwasgoingon，'saidUrsula。`MrBirkinwantedmetoseetherooms。
　　Isn'titdelightfultolivehere？Itisperfect。'
　　`Yes，'saidHermione，abstractedly。ThensheturnedrightawayfromUrsula，ceasedtoknowherexistence。
　　`Howdoyoufeel，Rupert？'shesanginanew，affectionatetone，toBirkin。
　　`Verywell，'hereplied。
　　`Wereyouquitecomfortable？'Thecurious，sinister，raptlookwasonHermione'sface，sheshruggedherbosominaconvulsedmovement，andseemedlikeonehalfinatrance。
　　`Quitecomfortable，'hereplied。
　　Therewasalongpause，whilstHermionelookedathimforalongtime，fromunderherheavy，druggedeyelids。
　　`Andyouthinkyou'llbehappyhere？'shesaidatlast。
　　`I'msureIshall。'
　　`I'msureIshalldoanythingforhimasIcan，'saidthelabourer'swife。`AndI'msureourmasterwill;soIhopehe'llfindhimselfcomfortable。'
　　Hermioneturnedandlookedatherslowly。
　　`Thankyousomuch，'shesaid，andthensheturnedcompletelyawayagain。
　　Sherecoveredherposition，andliftingherfacetowardshim，andaddressinghimexclusively，shesaid:
　　`Haveyoumeasuredtherooms？'
　　`No，'hesaid，`I'vebeenmendingthepunt。'
　　`Shallwedoitnow？'shesaidslowly，balancedanddispassionate。
　　`Haveyougotatapemeasure，MrsSalmon？'hesaid，turningtothewoman。
　　`Yessir，IthinkIcanfindone，'repliedthewoman，bustlingimmediatelytoabasket。`ThisistheonlyoneI'vegot，ifitwilldo。'
　　Hermionetookit，thoughitwasofferedtohim。
　　`Thankyousomuch，'shesaid。`Itwilldoverynicely。Thankyousomuch。'ThensheturnedtoBirkin，sayingwithalittlegaymovement:`Shallwedoitnow，Rupert？'
　　`Whatabouttheothers，they'llbebored，'hesaidreluctantly。
　　`Doyoumind？'saidHermione，turningtoUrsulaandGeraldvaguely。
　　`Notintheleast，'theyreplied。
　　`Whichroomshallwedofirst？'shesaid，turningagaintoBirkin，withthesamegaiety，nowshewasgoingtodosomethingwithhim。
　　`We'lltakethemastheycome，'hesaid。
　　`ShouldIbegettingyourteasready，whileyoudothat？'saidthelabourer'swife，alsogaybecauseshehadsomethingtodo。
　　`Wouldyou？'saidHermione，turningtoherwiththecuriousmotionofintimacythatseemedtoenvelopthewoman，drawheralmosttoHermione'sbreast，andwhichlefttheothersstandingapart。`Ishouldbesoglad。
　　Whereshallwehaveit？'
　　`Wherewouldyoulikeit？Shallitbeinhere，oroutonthegrass？'
　　`Whereshallwehavetea？'sangHermionetothecompanyatlarge。
　　`Onthebankbythepond。Andwe'llcarrythethingsup，ifyou'lljustgetthemready，MrsSalmon，'saidBirkin。
　　`Allright，'saidthepleasedwoman。
　　Thepartymoveddownthepassageintothefrontroom。Itwasempty，butcleanandsunny。Therewasawindowlookingontothetangledfrontgarden。
　　`Thisisthediningroom，'saidHermione。`We'llmeasureitthisway，Rupert——yougodownthere——'
　　`Can'tIdoitforyou，'saidGerald，comingtotaketheendofthetape。
　　`No，thankyou，'criedHermione，stoopingtothegroundinherbluish，brilliantfoulard。Itwasagreatjoytohertodothings，andtohavetheorderingofthejob，withBirkin。Heobeyedhersubduedly。UrsulaandGeraldlookedon。ItwasapeculiarityofHermione's，thatateverymoment，shehadoneintimate，andturnedalltherestofthosepresentintoonlookers。Thisraisedherintoastateoftriumph。
　　Theymeasuredanddiscussedinthedining—room，andHermionedecidedwhatthefloorcoveringsmustbe。Itsentherintoastrange，convulsedanger，tobethwarted。Birkinalwaysletherhaveherway，forthemoment。
　　Thentheymovedacross，throughthehall，totheotherfrontroom，thatwasalittlesmallerthanthefirst。
　　`Thisisthestudy，'saidHermione。`Rupert，IhavearugthatIwantyoutohaveforhere。Willyouletmegiveittoyou？Do——Iwanttogiveityou。'
　　`Whatisitlike？'heaskedungraciously。
　　`Youhaven'tseenit。Itischieflyrosered，thenblue，ametallic，mid—blue，andaverysoftdarkblue。Ithinkyouwouldlikeit。Doyouthinkyouwould？'
　　`Itsoundsverynice，'hereplied。`Whatisit？Oriental？Withapile？'
　　`Yes。Persian！Itismadeofcamel'shair，silky。IthinkitiscalledBergamos——twelvefeetbyseven——。Doyouthinkitwilldo？'
　　`Itwoulddo，'hesaid。`Butwhyshouldyougivemeanexpensiverug？IcanmanageperfectlywellwithmyoldOxfordTurkish。'
　　`ButmayIgiveittoyou？Doletme。'
　　`Howmuchdiditcost？'
　　Shelookedathim，andsaid:
　　`Idon'tremember。Itwasquitecheap。'
　　Helookedather，hisfaceset。
　　`Idon'twanttotakeit，Hermione，'hesaid。
　　`Doletmegiveittotherooms，'shesaid，goinguptohimandputtingherhandonhisarmlightly，pleadingly。`Ishallbesodisappointed。'
　　`YouknowIdon'twantyoutogivemethings，'herepeatedhelplessly。
　　`Idon'twanttogiveyouthings，'shesaidteasingly。`Butwillyouhavethis？'
　　`Allright，'hesaid，defeated，andshetriumphed。
　　Theywentupstairs。Thereweretwobedroomstocorrespondwiththeroomsdownstairs。Oneofthemwashalffurnished，andBirkinhadevidentlysleptthere。Hermionewentroundtheroomcarefully，takingineverydetail，asifabsorbingtheevidenceofhispresence，inalltheinanimatethings。
　　Shefeltthebedandexaminedthecoverings。
　　`Areyousureyouwerequitecomfortable？'shesaid，pressingthepillow。
　　`Perfectly，'herepliedcoldly。
　　`Andwereyouwarm？Thereisnodownquilt。Iamsureyouneedone。
　　Youmustn'thaveagreatpressureofclothes。'
　　`I'vegotone，'hesaid。`Itiscomingdown。'
　　Theymeasuredtherooms，andlingeredovereveryconsideration。Ursulastoodatthewindowandwatchedthewomancarryingtheteaupthebanktothepond。ShehatedthepalaverHermionemade，shewantedtodrinktea，shewantedanythingbutthisfussandbusiness。
　　Atlasttheyallmountedthegrassybank，tothepicnic。Hermionepouredouttea。SheignorednowUrsula'spresence。AndUrsula，recoveringfromherill—humour，turnedtoGeraldsaying:
　　`Oh，Ihatedyousomuchtheotherday，MrCrich，'
　　`Whatfor？'saidGerald，wincingslightlyaway。
　　`Fortreatingyourhorsesobadly。Oh，Ihatedyousomuch！'
　　`Whatdidhedo？'sangHermione。
　　`HemadehislovelysensitiveArabhorsestandwithhimattherailway—crossingwhilstahorriblelotoftruckswentby;andthepoorthing，shewasinaperfectfrenzy，aperfectagony。Itwasthemosthorriblesightyoucanimagine。'
　　`Whydidyoudoit，Gerald？'askedHermione，calmandinterrogative。
　　`Shemustlearntostand——whatuseisshetomeinthiscountry，ifsheshiesandgoesoffeverytimeanenginewhistles。'
　　`Butwhyinflictunnecessarytorture？'saidUrsula。`Whymakeherstandallthattimeatthecrossing？Youmightjustaswellhaveriddenbackuptheroad，andsavedallthathorror。Hersideswerebleedingwhereyouhadspurredher。Itwastoohorrible——！'
　　Geraldstiffened。
　　`Ihavetouseher，'hereplied。`AndifI'mgoingtobesureofheratall，she'llhavetolearntostandnoises。'
　　`Whyshouldshe？'criedUrsulainapassion。`Sheisalivingcreature，whyshouldshestandanything，justbecauseyouchoosetomakeher？Shehasasmuchrighttoherownbeing，asyouhavetoyours。'
　　`ThereIdisagree，'saidGerald。`Iconsiderthatmareisthereformyuse。NotbecauseIboughther，butbecausethatisthenaturalorder。
　　Itismorenaturalforamantotakeahorseanduseitashelikes，thanforhimtogodownonhiskneestoit，beggingittodoasitwishes，andtofulfilitsownmarvellousnature。'
　　Ursulawasjustbreakingout，whenHermioneliftedherfaceandbegan，inhermusingsing—song:
　　`Idothink——Idoreallythinkwemusthavethecouragetousetheloweranimallifeforourneeds。Idothinkthereissomethingwrong，whenwelookoneverylivingcreatureasifitwereourselves。I
　　dofeel，thatitisfalsetoprojectourownfeelingsoneveryanimatecreature。Itisalackofdiscrimination，alackofcriticism。'
　　`Quite，'saidBirkinsharply。`Nothingissodetestableasthemaudlinattributingofhumanfeelingsandconsciousnesstoanimals。'
　　`Yes，'saidHermione，wearily，`wemustreallytakeaposition。Eitherwearegoingtousetheanimals，ortheywilluseus。'
　　`That'safact，'saidGerald。`Ahorsehasgotawilllikeaman，thoughithasnomindstrictly。Andifyourwillisn'tmaster，thenthehorseismasterofyou。AndthisisathingIcan'thelp。Ican'thelpbeingmasterofthehorse。'
　　`Ifonlywecouldlearnhowtouseourwill，'saidHermione，`wecoulddoanything。Thewillcancureanything，andputanythingright。ThatI
　　amconvincedof——ifonlyweusethewillproperly，intelligibly。'
　　`Whatdoyoumeanbyusingthewillproperly？'saidBirkin。
　　`Averygreatdoctortaughtme，'shesaid，addressingUrsulaandGeraldvaguely。`Hetoldmeforinstance，thattocureoneselfofabadhabit，oneshouldforceoneselftodoit，whenonewouldnotdoit——makeoneselfdoit——andthenthehabitwoulddisappear。'
　　`Howdoyoumean？'saidGerald。
　　`Ifyoubiteyournails，forexample。Then，whenyoudon'twanttobiteyournails，bitethem，makeyourselfbitethem。Andyouwouldfindthehabitwasbroken。'
　　`Isthatso？'saidGerald。
　　`Yes。Andinsomanythings，Ihavemademyselfwell。Iwasaveryqueerandnervousgirl。Andbylearningtousemywill，simplybyusingmywill，Imademyselfright。'
　　UrsulalookedallthewhiteatHermione，asshespokeinherslow，dispassionate，andyetstrangelytensevoice。Acuriousthrillwentovertheyoungerwoman。
　　Somestrange，dark，convulsivepowerwasinHermione，fascinatingandrepelling。
　　`Itisfataltousethewilllikethat，'criedBirkinharshly，`disgusting。
　　Suchawillisanobscenity。'
　　Hermionelookedathimforalongtime，withhershadowed，heavyeyes。
　　Herfacewassoftandpaleandthin，almostphosphorescent，herjawwaslean。
　　`I'msureitisn't，'shesaidatlength。Therealwaysseemedaninterval，astrangesplitbetweenwhatsheseemedtofeelandexperience，andwhatsheactuallysaidandthought。Sheseemedtocatchherthoughtsatlengthfromoffthesurfaceofamaelstromofchaoticblackemotionsandreactions，andBirkinwasalwaysfilledwithrepulsion，shecaughtsoinfallibly，herwillneverfailedher。Hervoicewasalwaysdispassionateandtense，andperfectlyconfident。Yetsheshudderedwithasenseofnausea，asortofseasicknessthatalwaysthreatenedtooverwhelmhermind。Buthermindremainedunbroken，herwillwasstillperfect。ItalmostsentBirkinmad。
　　Buthewouldnever，neverdaretobreakherwill，andletloosethemaelstromofhersubconsciousness，andseeherinherultimatemadness。Yethewasalwaysstrikingather。
　　`Andofcourse，'hesaidtoGerald，`horseshaven'tgotacompletewill，likehumanbeings。Ahorsehasnoonewill。Everyhorse，strictly，hastwowills。Withonewill，itwantstoputitselfinthehumanpowercompletely——andwiththeother，itwantstobefree，wild。Thetwowillssometimeslock——youknowthat，ifeveryou'vefeltahorsebolt，whileyou'vebeendrivingit。'
　　`IhavefeltahorseboltwhileIwasdrivingit，'saidGerald，`butitdidn'tmakemeknowithadtwowills。Ionlyknewitwasfrightened。'
　　Hermionehadceasedtolisten。Shesimplybecameobliviouswhenthesesubjectswerestarted。
　　`Whyshouldahorsewanttoputitselfinthehumanpower？'askedUrsula。
　　`Thatisquiteincomprehensibletome。Idon'tbelieveiteverwantedit。'
　　`Yesitdid。It'sthelast，perhapshighest，love—impulse:resignyourwilltothehigherbeing，'saidBirkin。
　　`Whatcuriousnotionsyouhaveoflove，'jeeredUrsula。
　　`Andwomanisthesameashorses:twowillsactinoppositioninsideher。Withonewill，shewantstosubjectherselfutterly。Withtheothershewantstobolt，andpitchherridertoperdition。'
　　`ThenI'mabolter，'saidUrsula，withaburstoflaughter。
　　`It'sadangerousthingtodomesticateevenhorses，letalonewomen，'
　　saidBirkin。`Thedominantprinciplehassomerareantagonists。'
　　`Goodthingtoo，'saidUrsula。
　　`Quite，'saidGerald，withafaintsmile。`There'smorefun。'
　　Hermionecouldbearnomore。Sherose，sayinginhereasysing—song:
　　`Isn'ttheeveningbeautiful！Igetfilledsometimeswithsuchagreatsenseofbeauty，thatIfeelIcanhardlybearit。'
　　Ursula，towhomshehadappealed，rosewithher，movedtothelastimpersonaldepths。AndBirkinseemedtoheralmostamonsterofhatefularrogance。
　　ShewentwithHermionealongthebankofthepond，talkingofbeautiful，soothingthings，pickingthegentlecowslips。
　　`Wouldn'tyoulikeadress，'saidUrsulatoHermione，`ofthisyellowspottedwithorange——acottondress？'
　　`Yes，'saidHermione，stoppingandlookingattheflower，lettingthethoughtcomehometoherandsootheher。`Wouldn'titbepretty？Ishouldloveit。'
　　AndsheturnedsmilingtoUrsula，inafeelingofrealaffection。
　　ButGeraldremainedwithBirkin，wantingtoprobehimtothebottom，toknowwhathemeantbythedualwillinhorses。AflickerofexcitementdancedonGerald'sface。
　　HermioneandUrsulastrayedontogether，unitedinasuddenbondofdeepaffectionandcloseness。
　　`Ireallydonotwanttobeforcedintoallthiscriticismandanalysisoflife。Ireallydowanttoseethingsintheirentirety，withtheirbeautylefttothem，andtheirwholeness，theirnaturalholiness。
　　Don'tyoufeelit，don'tyoufeelyoucan'tbetorturedintoanymoreknowledge？'saidHermione，stoppinginfrontofUrsula，andturningtoherwithclenchedfiststhrustdownwards。
　　`Yes，'saidUrsula。`Ido。Iamsickofallthispokingandprying。'
　　`I'msogladyouare。Sometimes，'saidHermione，againstoppingarrestedinherprogressandturningtoUrsula，`sometimesIwonderifIoughttosubmittoallthisrealisation，ifIamnotbeingweakinrejectingit。ButIfeelIcan't——Ican't。Itseemstodestroyeverything。
　　Allthebeautyandthe——andthetrueholinessisdestroyed——andIfeelIcan'tlivewithoutthem。'
　　`Anditwouldbesimplywrongtolivewithoutthem，'criedUrsula。`No，itissoirreverenttothinkthateverythingmustberealisedinthehead。Really，somethingmustbelefttotheLord，therealwaysisandalwayswillbe。'
　　`Yes，'saidHermione，reassuredlikeachild，`itshould，shouldn'tit？AndRupert——'sheliftedherfacetothesky，inamuse——`hecanonlytearthingstopieces。Hereallyislikeaboywhomustpulleverythingtopiecestoseehowitismade。AndIcan'tthinkitisright——itdoesseemsoirreverent，asyousay。'
　　`Liketearingopenabudtoseewhattheflowerwillbelike，'saidUrsula。
　　`Yes。Andthatkillseverything，doesn'tit？Itdoesn'tallowanypossibilityofflowering。'
　　`Ofcoursenot，'saidUrsula。`Itispurelydestructive。'
　　`Itis，isn'tit！'
　　HermionelookedlongandslowatUrsula，seemingtoacceptconfirmationfromher。Thenthetwowomenweresilent。Assoonastheywereinaccord，theybeganmutuallytomistrusteachother。Inspiteofherself，UrsulafeltherselfrecoilingfromHermione。Itwasallshecoulddotorestrainherrevulsion。
　　Theyreturnedtothemen，liketwoconspiratorswhohavewithdrawntocometoanagreement。Birkinlookedupatthem。Ursulahatedhimforhiscoldwatchfulness。Buthesaidnothing。
　　`Shallwebegoing？'saidHermione。`Rupert，youarecomingtoShortlandstodinner？Willyoucomeatonce，willyoucomenow，withus？'
　　`I'mnotdressed，'repliedBirkin。`AndyouknowGeraldsticklesforconvention。'
　　`Idon'tstickleforit，'saidGerald。`Butifyou'dgotassickasIhaveofrowdygo—as—you—pleaseinthehouse，you'dpreferitifpeoplewerepeacefulandconventional，atleastatmeals。'
　　`Allright，'saidBirkin。
　　`Butcan'twewaitforyouwhileyoudress？'persistedHermione。
　　`Ifyoulike。'
　　Herosetogoindoors。Ursulasaidshewouldtakeherleave。
　　`Only，'shesaid，turningtoGerald，`Imustsaythat，howevermanislordofthebeastandthefowl，Istilldon'tthinkhehasanyrighttoviolatethefeelingsoftheinferiorcreation。Istillthinkitwouldhavebeenmuchmoresensibleandniceofyouifyou'dtrottedbackuptheroadwhilethetrainwentby，andbeenconsiderate。'
　　`Isee，'saidGerald，smiling，butsomewhatannoyed。`Imustrememberanothertime。'
　　`TheyallthinkI'maninterferingfemale，'thoughtUrsulatoherself，asshewentaway。Butshewasinarmsagainstthem。
　　Sheranhomeplungedinthought。ShehadbeenverymuchmovedbyHermione，shehadreallycomeintocontactwithher，sothattherewasasortofleaguebetweenthetwowomen。Andyetshecouldnotbearher。Butsheputthethoughtaway。`She'sreallygood，'shesaidtoherself。`Shereallywantswhatisright。'AndshetriedtofeelatonewithHermione，andtoshutofffromBirkin。Shewasstrictlyhostiletohim。Butshewasheldtohimbysomebond，somedeepprinciple。Thisatonceirritatedherandsavedher。
　　Onlynowandagain，violentlittleshudderswouldcomeoverher，outofhersubconsciousness，andsheknewitwasthefactthatshehadstatedherchallengetoBirkin，andhehad，consciouslyorunconsciously，accepted。
　　Itwasafighttothedeathbetweenthem——ortonewlife:thoughinwhattheconflictlay，noonecouldsay。
　　WomenInLove:Chapter13CHAPTERXIIIMinoTHEDAYSwentby，andshereceivednosign。Washegoingtoignoreher，washegoingtotakenofurthernoticeofhersecret？
　　Adrearyweightofanxietyandacridbitternesssettledonher。AndyetUrsulaknewshewasonlydeceivingherself，andthathewouldproceed。
　　Shesaidnowordtoanybody。
　　Then，sureenough，therecameanotefromhim，askingifshewouldcometoteawithGudrun，tohisroomsintown。
　　`WhydoesheaskGudrunaswell？'sheaskedherselfatonce。`Doeshewanttoprotecthimself，ordoeshethinkIwouldnotgoalone？'Shewastormentedbythethoughtthathewantedtoprotecthimself。Butattheendofall，sheonlysaidtoherself:
　　`Idon'twantGudruntobethere，becauseIwanthimtosaysomethingmoretome。SoIshan'ttellGudrunanythingaboutit，andIshallgoalone。
　　ThenIshallknow。'
　　Shefoundherselfsittingonthetram—car，mountingupthehillgoingoutofthetown，totheplacewherehehadhislodging。Sheseemedtohavepassedintoakindofdreamworld，absolvedfromtheconditionsofactuality。
　　Shewatchedthesordidstreetsofthetowngobybeneathher，asifshewereaspiritdisconnectedfromthematerialuniverse。Whathaditalltodowithher？Shewaspalpitatingandformlesswithinthefluxoftheghostlife。Shecouldnotconsideranymore，whatanybodywouldsayofherorthinkabouther。Peoplehadpassedoutofherrange，shewasabsolved。
　　Shehadfallenstrangeanddim，outofthesheathofthemateriallife，asaberryfallsfromtheonlyworldithaseverknown，downoutofthesheathontotherealunknown。