Birkinwasstandinginthemiddleoftheroom,whenshewasshowninbythelandlady。Hetoowasmovedoutsidehimself。Shesawhimagitatedandshaken,afrail,unsubstantialbodysilentlikethenodeofsomeviolentforce,thatcameoutfromhimandshookheralmostintoaswoon。
`Youarealone?'hesaid。
`Yes—Gudruncouldnotcome。'
Heinstantlyguessedwhy。
Andtheywerebothseatedinsilence,intheterribletensionoftheroom。Shewasawarethatitwasapleasantroom,fulloflightandveryrestfulinitsform——awarealsoofafuchsiatree,withdanglingscarletandpurpleflowers。
`Hownicethefuchsiasare!'shesaid,tobreakthesilence。
`Aren'tthey!DidyouthinkIhadforgottenwhatIsaid?'
AswoonwentoverUrsula'smind。
`Idon'twantyoutorememberit——ifyoudon'twantto,'shestruggledtosay,throughthedarkmistthatcoveredher。
Therewassilenceforsomemoments。
`No,'hesaid。`Itisn'tthat。Only——ifwearegoingtoknoweachother,wemustpledgeourselvesforever。Ifwearegoingtomakearelationship,evenoffriendship,theremustbesomethingfinalandinfallibleaboutit。'
Therewasaclangofmistrustandalmostangerinhisvoice。Shedidnotanswer。Herheartwastoomuchcontracted。Shecouldnothavespoken。
Seeingshewasnotgoingtoreply,hecontinued,almostbitterly,givinghimselfaway:
`Ican'tsayitisloveIhavetooffer——anditisn'tloveIwant。
Itissomethingmuchmoreimpersonalandharder——andrarer。'
Therewasasilence,outofwhichshesaid:
`Youmeanyoudon'tloveme?'
Shesufferedfuriously,sayingthat。
`Yes,ifyouliketoputitlikethat。Thoughperhapsthatisn'ttrue。
Idon'tknow。Atanyrate,Idon'tfeeltheemotionofloveforyou——
no,andIdon'twantto。Becauseitgivesoutinthelastissues。'
`Lovegivesoutinthelastissues?'sheasked,feelingnumbtothelips。
`Yes,itdoes。Attheverylast,oneisalone,beyondtheinfluenceoflove。Thereisarealimpersonalme,thatisbeyondlove,beyondanyemotionalrelationship。Soitiswithyou。Butwewanttodeludeourselvesthatloveistheroot。Itisn't。Itisonlythebranches。Therootisbeyondlove,anakedkindofisolation,anisolatedme,thatdoesnotmeetandmingle,andnevercan。'
Shewatchedhimwithwide,troubledeyes。Hisfacewasincandescentinitsabstractearnestness。
`Andyoumeanyoucan'tlove?'sheasked,intrepidation。
`Yes,ifyoulike。Ihaveloved。Butthereisabeyond,wherethereisnotlove。'
Shecouldnotsubmittothis。Shefeltitswooningoverher。Butshecouldnotsubmit。
`Buthowdoyouknow——ifyouhaveneverreallyloved?'sheasked。
`Itistrue,whatIsay;thereisabeyond,inyou,inme,whichisfurtherthanlove,beyondthescope,asstarsarebeyondthescopeofvision,someofthem。'
`Thenthereisnolove,'criedUrsula。
`Ultimately,no,thereissomethingelse。But,ultimately,thereisnolove。'
Ursulawasgivenovertothisstatementforsomemoments。Thenshehalfrosefromherchair,saying,inafinal,repellentvoice:
`Thenletmegohome——whatamIdoinghere?'
`Thereisthedoor,'hesaid。`Youareafreeagent。'
Hewassuspendedfinelyandperfectlyinthisextremity。Shehungmotionlessforsomeseconds,thenshesatdownagain。
`Ifthereisnolove,whatisthere?'shecried,almostjeering。
`Something,'hesaid,lookingather,battlingwithhissoul,withallhismight。
`What?'
Hewassilentforalongtime,unabletobeincommunicationwithherwhileshewasinthisstateofopposition。
`Thereis,'hesaid,inavoiceofpureabstraction;`afinalmewhichisstarkandimpersonalandbeyondresponsibility。Sothereisafinalyou。AnditisthereIwouldwanttomeetyou——notintheemotional,lovingplane——buttherebeyond,wherethereisnospeechandnotermsofagreement。Therewearetwostark,unknownbeings,twoutterlystrangecreatures,Iwouldwanttoapproachyou,andyoume。Andtherecouldbenoobligation,becausethereisnostandardforactionthere,becausenounderstandinghasbeenreapedfromthatplane。Itisquiteinhuman,——
sotherecanbenocallingtobook,inanyformwhatsoever——becauseoneisoutsidethepaleofallthatisaccepted,andnothingknownapplies。
Onecanonlyfollowtheimpulse,takingthatwhichliesinfront,andresponsiblefornothing,askedfornothing,givingnothing,onlyeachtakingaccordingtotheprimaldesire。'
Ursulalistenedtothisspeech,herminddumbandalmostsenseless,whathesaidwassounexpectedandsountoward。
`Itisjustpurelyselfish,'shesaid。
`Ifitispure,yes。Butitisn'tselfishatall。BecauseIdon'tknowwhatIwantofyou。Idelivermyselfovertotheunknown,incomingtoyou,Iamwithoutreservesordefences,strippedentirely,intotheunknown。Onlythereneedsthepledgebetweenus,thatwewillbothcastoffeverything,castoffourselveseven,andceasetobe,sothatthatwhichisperfectlyourselvescantakeplaceinus。'
Sheponderedalongherownlineofthought。
`Butitisbecauseyouloveme,thatyouwantme?'shepersisted。
`Noitisn't。ItisbecauseIbelieveinyou——ifIdobelieveinyou。'
`Aren'tyousure?'shelaughed,suddenlyhurt。
Hewaslookingathersteadfastly,scarcelyheedingwhatshesaid。
`Yes,Imustbelieveinyou,orelseIshouldn'tbeheresayingthis,'
hereplied。`ButthatisalltheproofIhave。Idon'tfeelanyverystrongbeliefatthisparticularmoment。'
Shedislikedhimforthissuddenrelapseintowearinessandfaithlessness。
`Butdon'tyouthinkmegood—looking?'shepersisted,inamockingvoice。
Helookedather,toseeifhefeltthatshewasgood—looking。
`Idon'tfeelthatyou'regood—looking,'hesaid。
`Notevenattractive?'shemocked,bitingly。
Heknittedhisbrowsinsuddenexasperation。
`Don'tyouseethatit'snotaquestionofvisualappreciationintheleast,'hecried。`Idon'twanttoseeyou。I'veseenplentyofwomen,I'msickandwearyofseeingthem。IwantawomanIdon'tsee。'
`I'msorryIcan'tobligeyoubybeinginvisible,'shelaughed。
`Yes,'hesaid,`youareinvisibletome,ifyoudon'tforcemetobevisuallyawareofyou。ButIdon'twanttoseeyouorhearyou。'
`Whatdidyouaskmetoteafor,then?'shemocked。
Buthewouldtakenonoticeofher。Hewastalkingtohimself。
`Iwanttofindyou,whereyoudon'tknowyourownexistence,theyouthatyourcommonselfdeniesutterly。ButIdon'twantyourgoodlooks,andIdon'twantyourwomanlyfeelings,andIdon'twantyourthoughtsnoropinionsnoryourideas——theyareallbagatellestome。'
`Youareveryconceited,Monsieur,'shemocked。`Howdoyouknowwhatmywomanlyfeelingsare,ormythoughtsormyideas?Youdon'tevenknowwhatIthinkofyounow。'
`NordoIcareintheslightest。'
`Ithinkyouareverysilly。Ithinkyouwanttotellmeyouloveme,andyougoallthiswayroundtodoit。'
`Allright,'hesaid,lookingupwithsuddenexasperation。`Nowgoawaythen,andleavemealone。Idon'twantanymoreofyourmeretriciouspersiflage。'
`Isitreallypersiflage?'shemocked,herfacereallyrelaxingintolaughter。Sheinterpretedit,thathehadmadeadeepconfessionoflovetoher。Buthewassoabsurdinhiswords,also。
Theyweresilentformanyminutes,shewaspleasedandelatedlikeachild。Hisconcentrationbroke,hebegantolookathersimplyandnaturally。
`WhatIwantisastrangeconjunctionwithyou——'hesaidquietly;
`notmeetingandmingling——youarequiteright——butanequilibrium,apurebalanceoftwosinglebeings——asthestarsbalanceeachother。'
Shelookedathim。Hewasveryearnest,andearnestnesswasalwaysratherridiculous,commonplace,toher。Itmadeherfeelunfreeanduncomfortable。
Yetshelikedhimsomuch。Butwhydraginthestars。
`Isn'tthisrathersudden?'shemocked。
Hebegantolaugh。
`Besttoreadthetermsofthecontract,beforewesign,'hesaid。
Ayounggreycatthathadbeensleepingonthesofajumpeddownandstretched,risingonitslonglegs,andarchingitsslimback。Thenitsatconsideringforamoment,erectandkingly。Andthen,likeadart,ithadshotoutoftheroom,throughtheopenwindow—doors,andintothegarden。
`What'sheafter?'saidBirkin,rising。
Theyoungcattrottedlordlydownthepath,wavinghistail。Hewasanordinarytabbywithwhitepaws,aslenderyounggentleman。Acrouching,fluffy,brownish—greycatwasstealingupthesideofthefence。TheMinowalkedstatelilyuptoher,withmanlynonchalance。Shecrouchedbeforehimandpressedherselfonthegroundinhumility,afluffysoftoutcast,lookingupathimwithwildeyesthatweregreenandlovelyasgreatjewels。
Helookedcasuallydownonher。Soshecreptafewinchesfurther,proceedingonherwaytothebackdoor,crouchinginawonderful,soft,self—obliteratingmanner,andmovinglikeashadow。
He,goingstatelilyonhisslimlegs,walkedafterher,thensuddenly,forpureexcess,hegaveheralightcuffwithhispawonthesideofherface。Sheranoffafewsteps,likeablownleafalongtheground,thencrouchedunobtrusively,insubmissive,wildpatience。TheMinopretendedtotakenonoticeofher。Heblinkedhiseyessuperblyatthelandscape。
Inaminuteshedrewherselftogetherandmovedsoftly,afleecybrown—greyshadow,afewpacesforward。Shebegantoquickenherpace,inamomentshewouldbegonelikeadream,whentheyounggreylordsprangbeforeher,andgaveheralighthandsomecuff。Shesubsidedatonce,submissively。
`Sheisawildcat,'saidBirkin。`Shehascomeinfromthewoods。'
Theeyesofthestraycatflaredroundforamoment,likegreatgreenfiresstaringatBirkin。Thenshehadrushedinasoftswiftrush,halfwaydownthegarden。Thereshepausedtolookround。TheMinoturnedhisfaceinpuresuperioritytohismaster,andslowlyclosedhiseyes,standinginstatuesqueyoungperfection。Thewildcat'sround,green,wonderingeyeswerestaringallthewhilelikeuncannyfires。Thenagain,likeashadow,sheslidtowardsthekitchen。
Inalovelyspringingleap,likeawind,theMinowasuponher,andhadboxedhertwice,verydefinitely,withawhite,delicatefist。Shesankandslidback,unquestioning。Hewalkedafterher,andcuffedheronceortwice,leisurely,withsuddenlittleblowsofhismagicwhitepaws。
`Nowwhydoeshedothat?'criedUrsulainindignation。
`Theyareonintimateterms,'saidBirkin。
`Andisthatwhyhehitsher?'
`Yes,'laughedBirkin,`Ithinkhewantstomakeitquiteobvioustoher。'
`Isn'tithorridofhim!'shecried;andgoingoutintothegardenshecalledtotheMino:
`Stopit,don'tbully。Stophittingher。'
Thestraycatvanishedlikeaswift,invisibleshadow。TheMinoglancedatUrsula,thenlookedfromherdisdainfullytohismaster。
`Areyouabully,Mino?'Birkinasked。
Theyoungslimcatlookedathim,andslowlynarroweditseyes。Thenitglancedawayatthelandscape,lookingintothedistanceasifcompletelyobliviousofthetwohumanbeings。
`Mino,'saidUrsula,`Idon'tlikeyou。Youareabullylikeallmales。'
`No,'saidBirkin,`heisjustified。Heisnotabully。Heisonlyinsistingtothepoorstraythatsheshallacknowledgehimasasortoffate,herownfate:becauseyoucanseesheisfluffyandpromiscuousasthewind。
Iamwithhimentirely。Hewantssuperfinestability。'
`Yes,Iknow!'criedUrsula。`Hewantshisownway——Iknowwhatyourfinewordsworkdownto——bossiness,Icallit,bossiness。'
TheyoungcatagainglancedatBirkinindisdainofthenoisywoman。
`Iquiteagreewithyou,Miciotto,'saidBirkintothecat。`Keepyourmaledignity,andyourhigherunderstanding。'
AgaintheMinonarrowedhiseyesasifhewerelookingatthesun。Then,suddenlyaffectingtohavenoconnectionatallwiththetwopeople,hewenttrottingoff,withassumedspontaneityandgaiety,histailerect,hiswhitefeetblithe。
`Nowhewillfindthebellesauvageoncemore,andentertainherwithhissuperiorwisdom,'laughedBirkin。
Ursulalookedatthemanwhostoodinthegardenwithhishairblowingandhiseyessmilingironically,andshecried:
`Ohitmakesmesocross,thisassumptionofmalesuperiority!Anditissuchalie!Onewouldn'tmindiftherewereanyjustificationforit。'
`Thewildcat,'saidBirkin,`doesn'tmind。Sheperceivesthatitisjustified。'
`Doesshe!'criedUrsula。`AndtellittotheHorseMarines。'
`Tothemalso。'
`ItisjustlikeGeraldCrichwithhishorse——alustforbullying——arealWillezurMacht——sobase,sopetty。'
`IagreethattheWillezurMachtisabaseandpettything。ButwiththeMino,itisthedesiretobringthisfemalecatintoapurestableequilibrium,atranscendentandabidingrapportwiththesinglemale。Whereaswithouthim,asyousee,sheisamerestray,afluffysporadicbitofchaos。Itisavolontedepouvoir,ifyoulike,awilltoability,takingpouvoirasaverb。'
`Ah——!Sophistries!It'stheoldAdam。'
`Ohyes。AdamkeptEveintheindestructibleparadise,whenhekepthersinglewithhimself,likeastarinitsorbit。'
`Yes——yes——'criedUrsula,pointingherfingerathim。`Thereyouare——astarinitsorbit!Asatellite——asatelliteofMars——that'swhatsheistobe!There——there——you'vegivenyourselfaway!Youwantasatellite,Marsandhissatellite!You'vesaidit——you'vesaidit——
you'vedishedyourself!'
Hestoodsmilinginfrustrationandamusementandirritationandadmirationandlove。Shewassoquick,andsolambent,likediscerniblefire,andsovindictive,andsorichinherdangerousflamysensitiveness。
`I'venotsaiditatall,'hereplied,`ifyouwillgivemeachancetospeak。'
`No,no!'shecried。`Iwon'tletyouspeak。You'vesaidit,asatellite,you'renotgoingtowriggleoutofit。You'vesaidit。'
`You'llneverbelievenowthatIhaven'tsaidit,'heanswered。
`Ineitherimpliednorindicatednormentionedasatellite,norintendedasatellite,never。'
`Youprevaricator!'shecried,inrealindignation。
`Teaisready,sir,'saidthelandladyfromthedoorway。
Theybothlookedather,verymuchasthecatshadlookedatthem,alittlewhilebefore。
`Thankyou,MrsDaykin。'
Aninterruptedsilencefelloverthetwoofthem,amomentofbreach。
`Comeandhavetea,'hesaid。
`Yes,Ishouldloveit,'shereplied,gatheringherselftogether。
Theysatfacingeachotheracrosstheteatable。
`Ididnotsay,norimply,asatellite。Imeanttwosingleequalstarsbalancedinconjunction——'
`Yougaveyourselfaway,yougaveawayyourlittlegamecompletely,'
shecried,beginningatoncetoeat。Hesawthatshewouldtakenofurtherheedofhisexpostulation,sohebegantopourthetea。
`Whatgoodthingstoeat!'shecried。
`Takeyourownsugar,'hesaid。
Hehandedherhercup。Hehadeverythingsonice,suchprettycupsandplates,paintedwithmauve—lustreandgreen,alsoshapelybowlsandglassplates,andoldspoons,onawovenclothofpalegreyandblackandpurple。
Itwasveryrichandfine。ButUrsulacouldseeHermione'sinfluence。
`Yourthingsaresolovely!'shesaid,almostangrily。
`Ilikethem。Itgivesmerealpleasuretousethingsthatareattractiveinthemselves——pleasantthings。AndMrsDaykinisgood。Shethinkseverythingiswonderful,formysake。'
`Really,'saidUrsula,`landladiesarebetterthanwives,nowadays。
Theycertainlycareagreatdealmore。Itismuchmorebeautifulandcompleteherenow,thanifyouweremarried。'
`Butthinkoftheemptinesswithin,'helaughed。
`No,'shesaid。`Iamjealousthatmenhavesuchperfectlandladiesandsuchbeautifullodgings。Thereisnothingleftthemtodesire。'
`Inthehouse—keepingway,we'llhopenot。Itisdisgusting,peoplemarryingforahome。'
`Still,'saidUrsula,`amanhasverylittleneedforawomannow,hashe?'
`Inouterthings,maybe——excepttosharehisbedandbearhischildren。
Butessentially,thereisjustthesameneedasthereeverwas。Onlynobodytakesthetroubletobeessential。'
`Howessential?'shesaid。
`Idothink,'hesaid,`thattheworldisonlyheldtogetherbythemysticconjunction,theultimateunisonbetweenpeople——abond。Andtheimmediatebondisbetweenmanandwoman。'
`Butit'ssucholdhat,'saidUrsula。`Whyshouldlovebeabond?No,I'mnothavingany。'
`Ifyouarewalkingwestward,'hesaid,`youforfeitthenorthernandeastwardandsoutherndirection。Ifyouadmitaunison,youforfeitallthepossibilitiesofchaos。'
`Butloveisfreedom,'shedeclared。
`Don'tcanttome,'hereplied。`Loveisadirectionwhichexcludesallotherdirections。It'safreedomtogether,ifyoulike。'
`No,'shesaid,`loveincludeseverything。'
`Sentimentalcant,'hereplied。`Youwantthestateofchaos,that'sall。Itisultimatenihilism,thisfreedom—in—lovebusiness,thisfreedomwhichisloveandlovewhichisfreedom。Asamatteroffact,ifyouenterintoapureunison,itisirrevocable,anditisneverpuretillitisirrevocable。Andwhenitisirrevocable,itisoneway,likethepathofastar。'
`Ha!'shecriedbitterly。`Itistheolddeadmorality。'
`No,'hesaid,`itisthelawofcreation。Oneiscommitted。Onemustcommitoneselftoaconjunctionwiththeother——forever。Butitisnotselfless——itisamaintainingoftheselfinmysticbalanceandintegrity——likeastarbalancedwithanotherstar。'
`Idon'ttrustyouwhenyoudraginthestars,'shesaid。`Ifyouwerequitetrue,itwouldn'tbenecessarytobesofar—fetched。'
`Don'ttrustmethen,'hesaid,angry。`ItisenoughthatItrustmyself。'
`Andthatiswhereyoumakeanothermistake,'shereplied。`Youdon'ttrustyourself。Youdon'tfullybelieveyourselfwhatyouaresaying。Youdon'treallywantthisconjunction,otherwiseyouwouldn'ttalksomuchaboutit,you'dgetit。'
Hewassuspendedforamoment,arrested。
`How?'hesaid。
`Byjustloving,'sheretortedindefiance。
Hewasstillamoment,inanger。Thenhesaid:
`Itellyou,Idon'tbelieveinlovelikethat。Itellyou,youwantlovetoadministertoyouregoism,tosubserveyou。Loveisaprocessofsubserviencewithyou——andwitheverybody。Ihateit。'
`No,'shecried,pressingbackherheadlikeacobra,hereyesflashing。
`Itisaprocessofpride——Iwanttobeproud——'
`Proudandsubservient,proudandsubservient,Iknowyou,'heretorteddryly。`Proudandsubservient,thensubservienttotheproud——Iknowyouandyourlove。Itisatick—tack,tick—tack,adanceofopposites。'
`Areyousure?'shemockedwickedly,`whatmyloveis?'
`Yes,Iam,'heretorted。
`Sococksure!'shesaid。`Howcananybodyeverberight,whoissococksure?
Itshowsyouarewrong。'
Hewassilentinchagrin。
Theyhadtalkedandstruggledtilltheywerebothweariedout。
`Tellmeaboutyourselfandyourpeople,'hesaid。
AndshetoldhimabouttheBrangwens,andabouthermother,andaboutSkrebensky,herfirstlove,andaboutherlaterexperiences。Hesatverystill,watchingherasshetalked。Andheseemedtolistenwithreverence。
Herfacewasbeautifulandfullofbaffledlightasshetoldhimallthethingsthathadhurtherorperplexedhersodeeply。Heseemedtowarmandcomforthissoulatthebeautifullightofhernature。
`Ifshereallycouldpledgeherself,'hethoughttohimself,withpassionateinsistencebuthardlyanyhope。Yetacuriouslittleirresponsiblelaughterappearedinhisheart。
`Wehaveallsufferedsomuch,'hemocked,ironically。
Shelookedupathim,andaflashofwildgaietywentoverherface,astrangeflashofyellowlightcomingfromhereyes。
`Haven'twe!'shecried,inahigh,recklesscry。`Itisalmostabsurd,isn'tit?'
`Quiteabsurd,'hesaid。`Sufferingboresme,anymore。'
`Soitdoesme。'
Hewasalmostafraidofthemockingrecklessnessofhersplendidface。
Herewasonewhowouldgotothewholelengthsofheavenorhell,whichevershehadtogo。Andhemistrustedher,hewasafraidofawomancapableofsuchabandon,suchdangerousthoroughnessofdestructivity。Yethechuckledwithinhimselfalso。
Shecameovertohimandputherhandonhisshoulder,lookingdownathimwithstrangegolden—lightedeyes,verytender,butwithacuriousdevilishlooklurkingunderneath。
`Sayyouloveme,say"mylove"tome,'shepleadedHelookedbackintohereyes,andsaw。Hisfaceflickeredwithsardoniccomprehension。
`Iloveyourightenough,'hesaid,grimly。`ButIwantittobesomethingelse。'
`Butwhy?Butwhy?'sheinsisted,bendingherwonderfulluminousfacetohim。`Whyisn'titenough?'
`Becausewecangoonebetter,'hesaid,puttinghisarmsroundher。
`No,wecan't,'shesaid,inastrong,voluptuousvoiceofyielding。
`Wecanonlyloveeachother。Say"mylove"tome,sayit,sayit。'
Sheputherarmsroundhisneck。Heenfoldedher,andkissedhersubtly,murmuringinasubtlevoiceoflove,andirony,andsubmission:
`Yes,——mylove,yes,——mylove。Letlovebeenoughthen。Iloveyouthen——Iloveyou。I'mboredbytherest。'
`Yes,'shemurmured,nestlingverysweetandclosetohim。
WomenInLove:Chapter14CHAPTERXIVWater—partyEVERYYEARMrCrichgaveamoreorlesspublicwater—partyonthelake。Therewasalittlepleasure—launchonWilleyWaterandseveralrowingboats,andguestscouldtaketeaeitherinthemarqueethatwassetupinthegroundsofthehouse,ortheycouldpicnicintheshadeofthegreatwalnuttreeattheboat—housebythelake。ThisyearthestaffoftheGrammar—Schoolwasinvited,alongwiththechiefofficialsofthefirm。GeraldandtheyoungerCrichesdidnotcareforthisparty,butithadbecomecustomarynow,anditpleasedthefather,asbeingtheonlyoccasionwhenhecouldgathersomepeopleofthedistricttogetherinfestivitywithhim。Forhelovedtogivepleasurestohisdependentsandtothosepoorerthanhimself。Buthischildrenpreferredthecompanyoftheirownequalsinwealth。Theyhatedtheirinferiors'humilityorgratitudeorawkwardness。
Neverthelesstheywerewillingtoattendatthisfestival,astheyhaddonealmostsincetheywerechildren,themoreso,astheyallfeltalittleguiltynow,andunwillingtothwarttheirfatheranymore,sincehewassoillinhealth。Therefore,quitecheerfullyLaurapreparedtotakehermother'splaceashostess,andGeraldassumedresponsibilityfortheamusementsonthewater。
BirkinhadwrittentoUrsulasayingheexpectedtoseeherattheparty,andGudrun,althoughshescornedthepatronageoftheCriches,wouldneverthelessaccompanyhermotherandfatheriftheweatherwerefine。
Thedaycameblueandfullofsunshine,withlittlewaftsofwind。Thesistersbothworedressesofwhitecrepe,andhatsofsoftgrass。ButGudrunhadasashofbrilliantblackandpinkandyellowcolourwoundbroadlyroundherwaist,andshehadpinksilkstockings,andblackandpinkandyellowdecorationonthebrimofherhat,weighingitdownalittle。Shecarriedalsoayellowsilkcoatoverherarm,sothatshelookedremarkable,likeapaintingfromtheSalon。Herappearancewasasoretrialtoherfather,whosaidangrily:
`Don'tyouthinkyoumightaswellgetyourselfupforaChristmascracker,an'ha'donewithit?'
ButGudrunlookedhandsomeandbrilliant,andsheworeherclothesinpuredefiance。Whenpeoplestaredather,andgiggledafterher,shemadeapointofsayingloudly,toUrsula:
`Regarde,regardecesgens—la!Nesont—ilspasdeshibouxincroyables?'
AndwiththewordsofFrenchinhermouth,shewouldlookoverhershoulderatthegigglingparty。
第12章