Sylviadidnotunderstandhowatotallydifferentcharacterfromhersmightimmediatelyforgivetheangershecouldnotforget;andbecauseHesterhadbeensomeekatthetime,Sylvia,whoknewhowpassingandtransitorywasherownanger,thoughtthatallwasforgotten;whileHesterbelievedthatthewords,whichsheherselfcouldnothaveutteredexceptunderdeepprovocation,meantmuchmorethantheydid,andadmiredandwonderedatSylviaforhavingsoentirelyconqueredherangeragainsther。Again,thetwodifferentwomenweredivergentlyaffectedbytheextremefondnesswhichBellhadshowntowardsHestereversinceSylvia'swedding—day。
Sylvia,whohadalwaysreceivedmorelovefromothersthansheknewwhattodowith,hadthemostentirefaithinherownsupremacyinhermother'sheart,thoughattimesHesterwoulddocertainthingsmoretothepooroldwoman'ssatisfaction。Hester,whohadcravedfortheaffectionwhichhadbeenwithheldfromher,andhadfromthatonecircumstancebecomedistrustfulofherownpowerofinspiringregard,whilesheexaggeratedthedelightofbeingbeloved,fearedlestSylviashouldbecomejealousofhermother'sopendisplayofgreatattachmentandoccasionalpreferenceforHester。
ButsuchathoughtneverenteredSylvia'smind。Shewasmorethankfulthansheknewhowtoexpresstowardsanyonewhomadehermotherhappy;ashasbeenalreadysaid,thecontributingtoBellRobson'spleasuresearnedPhilipmoreofhiswife'ssmilesthananythingelse。AndSylviathrewherwholeheartintothewordsandcaressesshelavishedonHesterwheneverpoorMrsRobsonspokeofthegoodnessandkindnessofthelatter。Hesterattributedmorevirtuetothesesweetwordsanddeedsofgratitudethantheydeserved;
theydidnotimplyinSylviaanyvictoryovereviltemptation,astheywouldhavedoneinHester。ItseemedtobeSylvia'sfatetocaptivatemorepeoplethanshecaredtolikebackagain。SheturnedtheheadsofJohnandJeremiahFoster,whocouldhardlycongratulatePhilipenoughonhischoiceofawife。TheyhadbeenpreparedtobecriticalononewhohadinterferedwiththeirfavouriteprojectofamarriagebetweenPhilipandHester;and,thoughfullofcompassionforthecrueltyofDanielRobson'sfate,theyweretoocompletelymenofbusinessnottohavesomeapprehensionthattheconnectionofPhilipHepburnwiththedaughterofamanwhowashanged,mightinjuretheshopoverwhichbothhisandtheirnameappeared。Butallthepossibleproprietiesdemandedthattheyshouldpayattentiontothebrideoftheirformershopmanandpresentsuccessor;andtheveryfirstvisitorswhomSylviahadreceivedafterhermarriagehadbeenJohnandJeremiahFoster,intheirSabbath—dayclothes。Theyfoundherintheparlour(sofamiliartobothofthem!)clear—starchinghermother'scaps,whichhadtobegotupinsomeparticularfashionthatSylviawasafraidofdictatingtoPhoebe。Shewasalittledisturbedathervisitorsdiscoveringheratthisemployment;
butshewasonherownground,andthatgaveherself—possession;andshewelcomedthetwooldmensosweetlyandmodestly,andlookedsoprettyandfeminine,and,besides,sonotableinherhandiwork,thatsheconqueredalltheirprejudicesatoneblow;andtheirfirstthoughtonleavingtheshopwashowtodoherhonour,byinvitinghertoasupperpartyatJeremiahFoster'shouse。Sylviawasdismayedwhenshewasbiddentothisweddingfeast,andPhiliphadtouseallhisauthority,thoughtenderly,tomakeherconsenttogoatall。ShehadbeentomerrycountrypartiesliketheCorneys',andtobrighthay—makingrompsintheopenair;butnevertoasetstatelypartyatafriend'shouse。Shewouldfainhavemadeattendanceonhermotheranexcuse;butPhilipknewhemustnotlistentoanysuchplea,andappliedtoHesterinthedilemma,askinghertoremainwithMrsRobsonwhileheandSylviawentoutvisiting;andHesterhadwillingly,nay,eagerlyconsented——itwasmuchmoretohertastethangoingout。SoPhilipandSylviasetout,arm—in—arm,downBridgeStreet,acrossthebridge,andthenclamberedupthehill。Onthewayhegaveherthedirectionssheaskedforaboutherbehaviourasbrideandmosthonouredguest;andaltogethersucceeded,againsthisintentionandwill,infrighteninghersocompletelyastothegrandeurandimportanceoftheoccasion,andthenecessityofrememberingcertainsetrules,andmakingcertainsetspeechesandattendingtothemwhentherighttimecame,that,ifanyonesonaturallygracefulcouldhavebeenawkward,Sylviawouldhavebeensothatnight。Asitwas,shesate,paleandweary—looking,ontheveryedgeofherchair;
sheutteredtheformalwordswhichPhiliphadtoldherwereappropriatetotheoccasion,andsheheartilywishedherselfsafeathomeandinbed。
Yetsheleftbutoneunanimousimpressiononthecompanywhenshewentaway,namely,thatshewastheprettiestandbest—behavedwomantheyhadeverseen,andthatPhilipHepburnhaddonewellinchoosingher,felon'sdaughterthoughshemightbe。BoththehostshadfollowedherintothelobbytohelpPhilipincloakingher,andputtingonherpattens。Theywerefullofold—fashionedcomplimentsandgood—wishesonespeechoftheirscameuptohermemoryinfutureyears:——'Now,SylviaHepburn,'saidJeremiah,'I'veknownthyhusbandlong,andIdon'tsaybutwhatthouhastdonewellinchoosinghim;butifheeverneglectsorill—usesthee,cometome,andI'llgivehimasoundlectureonhisconduct。Mind,I'mthyfriendfromthisdayforrards,andreadytotakethypartagainsthim!'Philipsmiledasifthedaywouldnevercomewhenheshouldneglectorill—usehisdarling;Sylviasmiledalittle,withoutmuchattendingto,orcaringfor,thewordsthatweredetainingher,tiredasshewas;JohnandJeremiahchuckledoverthejoke;butthewordscameupagaininafterdays,aswordsidlyspokensometimesdo。Beforetheendofthatfirstyear,Philiphadlearnttobejealousofhiswife'snewloveforHester。Tothelatter,SylviagavethefreeconfidenceonmanythingswhichPhilipfanciedshewithheldfromhim。Asuspicioncrossedhismind,fromtimetotime,thatSylviamightspeakofherformerlovertoHester。Itwouldbenotunnatural,hethought,ifshedidso,believinghimtobedead;buttheideairritatedhim。Hewasentirelymistaken,however;Sylvia,withallherapparentfrankness,keptherdeepsorrowstoherself。Shenevermentionedherfather'sname,thoughhewascontinuallypresenttohermind。NordidshespeakofKinraidtohumanbeing,though,forhissake,hervoicesoftenedwhen,bychance,shespoketoapassingsailor;andforhissakehereyeslingeredonsuchmenlongerthanonothers,tryingtodiscoverinthemsomethingoftheoldfamiliargait;andpartlyforhisdeadsake,andpartlybecauseofthefreedomoftheoutlookandthefreshnessoftheair,shewasgladoccasionallytoescapefromthecomfortableimprisonmentofher'parlour,'andtheclosestreetsaroundthemarketplace,andtomountthecliffsandsitontheturf,gazingabroadoverthewidestillexpanseoftheopensea;for,atthatheight,evenbreakingwavesonlylookedlikebrokenlinesofwhitefoamonthebluewateryplain。Shedidnotwantanycompanionontheserambles,whichhadsomewhatofthedelightofstolenpleasures;foralltheotherrespectablematronsandtown—dwellerswhomsheknewwerecontenttohavealwaysabusinessobjectfortheirwalk,orelsetostopathomeintheirownhouseholds;
andSylviawasratherashamedofherownyearningsforsolitudeandopenair,andthesightandsoundofthemother—likesea。Sheusedtotakeoffherhat,andsitthere,herhandsclaspingherknees,thesaltairliftingherbrightcurls,gazingatthedistanthorizonoverthesea,inasaddreaminessofthought;ifshehadbeenaskedonwhatshemeditated,shecouldnothavetoldyou。But,by—and—by,thetimecamewhenshewasaprisonerinthehouse;aprisonerinherroom,lyinginbedwithalittlebabybyherside——herchild,Philip'schild。Hispride,hisdelightknewnobounds;thiswasanewfasttiebetweenthem;thiswouldreconcilehertothekindoflifethat,withallitsrespectabilityandcomfort,wassodifferentfromwhatshehadlivedbefore,andwhichPhiliphadoftenperceivedthatshefelttobedullandrestraining。Healreadybegantotraceinthelittlegirl,onlyafewdaysold,thelovelycurvesthatheknewsowellbyheartinthemother'sface。Sylvia,too,pale,still,andweak,wasveryhappy;yes,reallyhappyforthefirsttimesinceherirrevocablemarriage。Foritsirrevocablenesshadweighedmuchuponherwithasenseofdullhopelessness;shefeltallPhilip'skindness,shewasgratefultohimforhistenderregardtowardshermother,shewaslearningtolovehimaswellastolikeandrespecthim。Shedidnotknowwhatelseshecouldhavedonebutmarrysotrueafriend,andsheandhermothersofriendless;but,atthesametime,itwaslikeleadonhermorningspiritswhensheawokeandrememberedthatthedecisionwasmade,thedeadwasdone,thechoicetakenwhichcomestomostpeoplebutonceintheirlives。Nowthelittlebabycameinuponthisstateofmindlikearayofsunlightintoagloomyroom。Evenhermotherwasrejoicedandproud;evenwithhercrazedbrainandbrokenheart,thesightofsweet,peacefulinfancybroughtlighttoher。
Alltheoldwaysofholdingababy,ofhushingittosleep,oftenderlyguardingitslittlelimbsfrominjury,cameback,likethehabitsofheryouth,toBell;andshewasneversohappyorsoeasyinhermind,orsosensibleandconnectedinherideas,aswhenshehadSylvia'sbabyinherarms。Itwasaprettysighttosee,howeverfamiliartoallofussuchthingsmaybe——thepale,wornoldwoman,inherquaint,old—fashionedcountrydress,holdingthelittleinfantonherknees,lookingatitsopen,unspeculativeeyes,andtalkingthelittlelanguagetoitasthoughitcouldunderstand;
thefatheronhisknees,keptprisonerbyasmall,smallfingercurledroundhisstrongandsinewyone,andgazingatthetinycreaturewithwonderingidolatry;theyoungmother,fair,pale,andsmiling,proppeduponpillowsinorderthatshe,too,mightseethewonderfulbabe;itwasastonishinghowthedoctorcouldcomeandgowithoutbeingdrawnintotheadmiringvortex,andlookatthisbabyjustasifbabiescameintotheworldeveryday。'Philip,'saidSylvia,onenight,ashesateasstillasamouseinherroom,imagininghertobeasleep。Hewasbyherbedsideinamoment。'I'vebeenthinkingwhatshe'stobecalled。Isabella,aftermother;andwhatwereyo'rmother'sname?''Margaret,'saidhe。'MargaretIsabella;IsabellaMargaret。Mother'scalledBell。ShemightbecalledBella。''Icouldha'wishedhertobecalledafterthee。'Shemadealittleimpatientmovement。'Nay;Sylvia'snotaluckyname。Bestbecalledafterthymotherandmine。
AndIwantfortoaskHestertobegodmother。''Anythingthoulikes,sweetheart。ShallwecallherRose,afterHesterRose?''No,no!'saidSylvia;'shemunbecalledaftermymother,orthine,orboth。IshouldlikehertobecalledBella,aftermother,becauseshe'ssofondofbaby。''Anythingtopleasethee,darling。''Don'tsaythatasifitdidn'tsignify;there'sadealinhavingaprettyname,'saidSylvia,alittleannoyed。'Iha'allayshatedbeingcalledSylvia。Itwereafterfather'smother,SylviaSteele。''Iniverthoughtanynameina'theworldsosweetandprettyasSylvia,'
saidPhilip,fondly;butshewastoomuchabsorbedinherownthoughtstonoticeeitherhismannerorhiswords。'There,yo'llnotmindifitisBella,becauseyo'seemymotherisalivetobepleasedbyitsbeingnamedafterher,andHestermaybegodmother,andI'llha't'dove—colouredsilkasyo'gavemeaforeweweremarriedmadeupintoacloakforittogotochurchin。''Igotitforthee,'saidPhilip,alittledisappointed。'It'llbetoogoodforthebaby。''Eh!butI'msocareless,Ishouldbespillingsomethingonit?ButifthougotitformeIcannotfindi'myheartfort'wearitonbaby,andI'llhaveitmadeintoachristeninggownformysel'。ButI'llniverfeelatmyeaseinit,forfearofspoilingit。'Well!an'ifthoudoesspoilit,love,I'llgettheeanother。Imakeaccountofrichesonlyforthee;thatImaybeabletogettheewhativerthou'safancyfor,foreitherthysel',orthymother。'Sheliftedherpalefacefromherpillow,andputupherlipstokisshimforthesewords。PerhapsonthatdayPhilipreachedthezenithofhislife'shappiness。
chapter31CHAPTERXXXIEVILOMENSThefirststepinPhilip'sdeclensionhappenedinthisway。Sylviahadmaderapidprogressinherrecovery;butnowsheseemedatastationarypointofweakness;wakefulnightssucceedingtolanguiddays。Occasionallyshecaughtalittlesleepintheafternoons,butsheusuallyawokestartledandfeverish。OneafternoonPhiliphadstolenupstairstolookatherandhischild;
buttheeffortshemadeatcarefulnoiselessnessmadethedoorcreakonitshingesasheopened。it。Thewomanemployedtonurseherhadtakenthebabyintoanotherroomthatnosoundmightrouseherfromherslumber;
andPhilipwouldprobablyhavebeenwarnedagainstenteringthechamberwherehiswifelaysleepinghadhebeenperceivedbythenurse。Asitwas,heopenedthedoor,madeanoise,andSylviastartedup,herfacealloneflush,hereyeswildanduncertain;shelookedaboutherasifshedidnotknowwhereshewas;pushedthehairoffherhotforehead;allwhichactionsPhilipsaw,dismayedandregretful。Buthekeptstill,hopingthatshewouldliedownandcomposeherself。Insteadshestretchedoutherarmsimploringly,andsaid,inavoicefullofyearningandtears,——'Oh!Charley!cometome——cometome!'andthenasshemorefullybecameawareoftheplacewhereshewas,heractualsituation,shesankbackandfeeblybegantocry。Philip'sheartboiledwithinhim;anyman'swouldunderthecircumstances,buthehadthesenseofguiltyconcealmenttoaggravatetheintensityofhisfeelings。Herweakcryafteranotherman,too,irritatedhim,partlythroughhisanxiouslove,whichmadehimwisetoknowhowmuchphysicalharmshewasdoingherself。Atthismomenthestirred,orunintentionallymadesomesound:shestartedupafresh,andcalledout,——'Oh,who'stheere?Do,forGod'ssake,tellmewhoyo'are!''It'sme,'saidPhilip,comingforwards,strivingtokeepdownthemiserablecomplicationofloveandjealousy,andremorseandanger,thatmadehisheartbeatsowildly,andalmosttookhimoutofhimself。Indeed,hemusthavebeenquitebesidehimselfforthetime,orhecouldneverhavegoneontouttertheunwise,cruelwordshedid。Butshespokefirst,inadistressedandplaintivetoneofvoice。'Oh,Philip,I'vebeenasleep,andyetIthinkIwasawake!AndIsawCharleyKinraidasplainasiverIseetheenow,andhewasn'tdrownedatall。
I'msurehe'salivesomewheere;heweresoclearandlife—like。Oh!whatshallIdo?whatshallIdo?'Shewrungherhandsinfeverishdistress。Urgedbypassionatefeelingsofvariouskinds,andalsobyhisdesiretoquenchtheagitationwhichwasdoingherharm,Philipspoke,hardlyknowingwhathesaid。'Kinraid'sdead,Itellyo',Sylvie!Andwhatkindofawomanareyo'togodreamingofanothermani'thisway,andtakingonsoabouthim;whenyo'reaweddedwife,withachildasyo'vebornetoanotherman?'Inamomenthecouldhavebittenouthistongue。Shelookedathimwiththemutereproachwhichsomeofussee(Godhelpus!)intheeyesofthedead,astheycomebeforeoursadmemoriesinthenight—season;lookedathimwithsuchasolemn,searchinglook,neversayingawordofreplyordefence。Thenshelaydown,motionlessandsilent。Hehadbeeninstantlystungwithremorseforhisspeech;thewordswerenotbeyondhislipswhenanagonyhadenteredhisheart;buthersteady,dilatedeyeshadkepthimdumbandmotionlessasifbyaspell。Nowherushedtothebedonwhichshelay,andhalfknelt,halfthrewhimselfuponit,imploringhertoforgivehim;regardlessforthetimeofanyevilconsequencestoher,itseemedasifhemusthaveherpardon——herrelenting——atanyprice,eveniftheybothdiedintheactofreconciliation。Butshelayspeechless,and,asfarasshecouldbe,motionless,thebedtremblingunderherwiththequiveringshecouldnotstill。Philip'swildtonescaughtthenurse'sears,andsheenteredfullofthedignifiedindignationofwisdom。'Areyo'forkillingyo'rwife,measter?'sheasked。'She'snoanesostrongasshecanbearflytin'andscoldin',norwillshebeformanyaweektocome。Godownwi'ye,andleaveheri'peaceifyo'reamanascanbecalledaman!'HerangerwasrisingasshecaughtsightofSylvia'savertedface。Itwasflushedcrimson,hereyesfullofintenseemotionofsomekind,herlipscompressed;butaninvoluntarytwitchingovermasteringherresolutestillnessfromtimetotime。Philip,whodidnotseetheavertedface,norunderstandtherealdangerinwhichhewasplacinghiswife,feltasthoughhemusthaveoneword,oneresponsivetouchofthehandwhichlaypassiveinhis,whichwasnotevendrawnawayfromthekisseswithwhichhecoveredit,anymorethanifithadbeenanimpassivestone。Thenursehadfairlytotakehimbytheshoulders,andturnhimoutoftheroom。Inhalfanhourthedoctorhadtobesummoned。Ofcourse,thenursegavehimherversionoftheeventsoftheafternoon,withmuchanimusagainstPhilip;andthedoctorthoughtithisdutytohavesomeveryseriousconversationwithhim。'Idoassureyou,MrHepburn,that,inthestateyourwifehasbeeninforsomedays,itwaslittlelessthanmadnessonyourparttospeaktoheraboutanythingthatcouldgiverisetostrongemotion。''Itwasmadness,sir!'repliedPhilip,inalow,miserabletoneofvoice。
Thedoctor'sheartwastouched,inspiteofthenurse'saccusationsagainstthescoldinghusband。Yetthedangerwasnowtooseriousforhimtomincematters。'ImusttellyouthatIcannotanswerforherlife,unlessthegreatestprecautionsaretakenonyourpart,andunlessthemeasuresIshallusehavetheeffectIwishforinthenexttwenty—fourhours。Sheisonthevergeofabrainfever。Anyallusiontothesubjectwhichhasbeenthefinalcauseofthestateinwhichshenowismustbemostcautiouslyavoided,eventoachancewordwhichmaybringittohermemory。Andsoon;butPhilipseemedtohearonlythis:thenhemightnotexpresscontrition,orsueforpardon,hemustgoonunforgiventhroughallthisstressofanxiety;andevenifsherecoveredthedoctorwarnedhimoftheundesirablenessofrecurringtowhathadpassed!Heavymiserabletimesofenduranceandwaitinghavetobepassedthroughbyallduringthecourseoftheirlives;andPhiliphadhadhisshareofsuchseasons,whentheheart,andthewill,andthespeech,andthelimbs,mustbebounddownwithstrongresolutiontopatience。Formanydays,nay,forweeks,hewasforbiddentoseeSylvia,astheverysoundofhisfootstepbroughtonarecurrenceofthefeverandconvulsivemovement。Yetsheseemed,fromquestionsshefeeblyaskedthenurse,tohaveforgottenallthathadhappenedonthedayofherattackfromthetimewhenshedroppedofftosleep。Buthowmuchsherememberedofafteroccurrencesnoonecouldascertain。Shewasquietenoughwhen,atlength,Philipwasallowedtoseeher。Buthewashalfjealousofhischild,whenhewatchedhowshecouldsmileatit,whilesheneverchangedamuscleofherfaceatallhecoulddoorsay。Andofapiecewiththisextremequietudeandreservewasherbehaviourtohimwhenatlengthshehadfullyrecovered,andwasabletogoaboutthehouseagain。Philipthoughtmanyatimeofthewordsshehadusedlongbefore——beforetheirmarriage。Ominouswordstheywere。'It'snotinmetoforgive;Isometimesthinkit'snotinmetoforget。'Philipwastendereventohumilityinhisconducttowardsher。Butnothingstirredherfromherfortressofreserve。Andheknewshewassodifferent;
heknewhowloving,nay,passionate,washernature——vehement,demonstrative——oh!
howcouldhestirheroncemoreintoexpression,evenifthefirstshoworspeechshemadewasofanger?Thenhetriedbeingangrywithherhimself;
hewassometimesunjusttoherconsciouslyand。ofapurpose,inordertoprovokeherintodefendingherself,andappealingagainsthisunkindness。
Heonlyseemedtodriveherloveawaystillmore。Ifanyonehadknownallthatwaspassinginthathousehold,whileyetthestoryofitwasnotended,nor,indeed,cometoitscrisis,theirheartswouldhavebeensorryforthemanwholingeredlongatthedooroftheroominwhichhiswifesatecooingandtalkingtoherbaby,andsometimeslaughingbacktoit,orwhowassoothingthequerulousnessoffailingagewitheverypossiblepatienceoflove;sorryforthepoorlistenerwhowashungeringfortheprofusionoftendernessthusscatteredonthesenselessair,yetonlybystealthcaughttheechoesofwhatoughttohavebeenhis。Itwassodifficulttocomplain,too;impossible,infact。Everythingthatawifecoulddofromdutyshedid;buttheloveseemedtohavefled,and,insuchcases,noreproachesorcomplaintscanavailtobringitback。
Soreasonoutsiders,andareconvincedoftheresultbeforetheexperimentismade。ButPhilipcouldnotreason,orcouldnotyieldtoreason;andsohecomplainedandreproached。Shedidnotmuchanswerhim;buthethoughtthathereyesexpressedtheoldwords,—'It'snotinmetoforgive;Isometimesthink。it'snotinmetoforget。'However,itisanoldstory,anascertainedfact,that,eveninthemosttenderandstablemasculinenatures,atthesupremestseasonoftheirlives,thereisroomforotherthoughtsandpassionsthansuchasareconnectedwithlove。Evenwiththemostdomesticandaffectionatemen,theiremotionsseemtobekeptinacelldistinctandawayfromtheiractuallives。Philiphadotherthoughtsandotheroccupationsthanthoseconnectedwithhiswifeduringallthistime。Anuncleofhismother's,aCumberland'statesman,'ofwhoseexistencehewasbarelyconscious,diedaboutthistime,leavingtohisunknowngreat—nephewfourorfivehundredpounds,whichputhimatonceinadifferentpositionwithregardtohisbusiness。Henceforwardhisambitionwasroused,——suchhumbleambitionasbefittedashopkeeperinacountrytownsixtyorseventyyearsago。Toberespectedbythemenaroundhimhadalwaysbeenanobjectwithhim,andwas,perhaps,becomingmoresothanevernow,asasortofrefugefromhisdeep,sorrowfulmortificationinotherdirections。Hewasgreatlypleasedatbeingmadeasidesman;and,inpreparationforthefurtherhonourofbeingchurchwarden,hewentregularlytwiceadaytochurchonSundays。Therewasenoughreligiousfeelinginhimtomakehimdisguisetheworldlyreasonforsuchconductfromhimself。Hebelievedthat。hewentbecausehethoughtitrighttoattendpublicworshipintheparishchurchwheneveritwasofferedup;butitmaybequestionedofhim,asofmanyothers,howfarhewouldhavebeenasregularinattendanceinaplacewherehewasnotknown。Withthis,however,wehavenothingtodo。Thefactwasthathewentregularlytochurch,andhewishedhiswifetoaccompanyhimtothepew,newlypainted,withhisnameonthedoor,wherehesateinfullsightoftheclergymanandcongregation。Sylviahadneverbeeninthehabitofsuchregularchurch—going,andshefeltitasahardship,andslippedoutofthedutyasoftenasevershecould。Inherunmarrieddays,sheandherparentshadgoneannuallytothemother—churchoftheparishinwhichHaytersbankwassituated:ontheMondaysucceedingtheSundaynextaftertheRomishSaint'sDay,towhomthechurchwasdedicated,therewasagreatfeastorwakeheld,and,ontheSunday,alltheparishionerscametochurchfromfarandnear。Frequently,too,inthecourseoftheyear,SylviawouldaccompanyoneorotherofherparentstoScarbyMoorsideafternoonservice,——whenthehaywasgotin,andthecornnotreadyforcutting,orthecowsweredryandtherewasnoafternoonmilking。Manyclergymenwerelanguidinthosedays,anddidnottoocuriouslyinquireintothereasonswhichgavethemsuchsmallcongregationsincountryparishes。Nowshewasmarried,thisweeklychurch—goingwhichPhilipseemedtoexpectfromher,becameatieandasmallhardship,whichconnecteditselfwithherlifeofrespectabilityandprosperity。'Acrustofbreadandliberty'
wasmuchmoreaccordanttoSylvia'snaturethanplentyofcreaturecomfortsandmanyrestraints。AnotherwishofPhilip's,againstwhichshesaidnoword,butconstantlyrebelledinthoughtanddeed,washisdesirethattheservanthehadengagedduringthetimeofherillnesstotakechargeofthebaby,shouldalwayscarryitwheneveritwastakenoutforawalk。
Sylviaoftenfelt,nowshewasstrong,asifshewouldfarratherhavebeenwithouttheresponsibilityofhavingthisnursemaid,ofwhomshewas,inreality,ratherafraid。Thegoodsideofitwasthatitsetheratlibertytoattendtohermotherattimeswhenshewouldhavebeenotherwiseoccupiedwithherbaby;butBellrequiredverylittlefromanyone:shewaseasilypleased,unexacting,andmethodicaleveninherdotage;preservingthequiet,undemonstrativehabitsofherearlierlifenowthatthefacultyofreason,whichhadbeenatthebasisoftheformationofsuchhabits,wasgone。Shetookgreatdelightinwatchingthebaby,andwaspleasedtohaveitinhercareforashorttime;butshedozedsomuchthatitpreventedherhavinganystrongwishonthesubject。SoSylviacontrivedtogetherbabyasmuchaspossibletoherself,inspiteofthenursemaid;and,aboveall,shewouldcarryitout,softlycradledinherarms,warmpillowedonherbreast,andbearittothefreedomandsolitudeofthesea—shoreonthewestsideofthetown,wherethecliffswerenotsohigh,andtherewasagoodspaceofsandandshingleatalllowtides。Oncehere,shewasashappyassheeverexpectedtobeinthisworld。Thefreshsea—breezerestoredsomethingofthecolourofformerdaystohercheeks,theoldbuoyancytoherspirits;hereshemighttalkherheart—fulloflovingnonsensetoherbaby;hereitwasallherown;nofathertoshareinit,nonursemaidtodisputethewisdomofanythingshedidwithit。
Shesangtoit,shetossedit;itcrowedanditlaughedbackagain,tillbothwereweary;andthenshewouldsitdownonabrokenpieceofrock,andfailtogazingontheadvancingwavescatchingthesunlightontheircrests,advancing,receding,foreverandforever,astheyhaddoneallherlifelong——astheydidwhenshehadwalkedwiththemthatoncebythesideofKinraid;thosecruelwavesthat,forgetfulofthehappylovers'
talkbythesideoftheirwaters,hadcarriedoneaway,anddrownedhimdeeptillhewasdead。Everytimeshesatedowntolookatthesea,thisprocessofthoughtwasgonethroughuptothispoint;thenextstepwould,sheknew,bringhertothequestionshedarednot,mustnotask。Hewasdead;hemustbedead;forwasshenotPhilip'swife?ThencameuptherecollectionofPhilip'sspeech,neverforgotten,onlyburiedoutofsight:
'Whatkindofawomanareyo'togoondreamingofanotherman,andyo'
aweddedwife?'Sheusedtoshudderasifcoldsteelhadbeenplungedintoherwarm,livingbodyassherememberedthesewords;cruelwords,harmlesslyprovoked。Theyweretoomuchassociatedwithphysicalpainstobedweltupon;onlytheirmemorywasalwaysthere。Shepaidforthesehappyrambleswithherbabybythedepressionwhichawaitedheronherre—entranceintothedark,confinedhousethatwasherhome;itsveryfulnessofcomfortwasanoppression。Then,whenherhusbandsawherpaleandfatigued,hewasannoyed,andsometimesupbraidedherfordoingwhatwassounnecessaryastoloadherselfwithherchild。Sheknewfullwellitwasnotthatthatcausedherweariness。By—and—by,whenheinquiredanddiscoveredthatallthesewalksweretakeninonedirection,outtowardsthesea,hegrewjealousofherlovefortheinanimateocean。WasitconnectedinhermindwiththethoughtofKinraid?Whydidshesoperseveringly,inwindorcold,goouttothesea—shore;thewesternside,too,where,ifshewentbutfarenough,shewouldcomeuponthemouthoftheHaytersbankgully,thepointatwhichshehadlastseenKinraid?SuchfancieshauntedPhilip'smindforhoursaftershehadacknowledgedthedirectionofherwalks。Butheneversaidawordthatcoulddistinctlytellherhedislikedhergoingtothesea,otherwiseshewouldhaveobeyedhiminthis,asineverythingelse;forabsoluteobediencetoherhusbandseemedtobeherruleoflifeatthisperiod——obediencetohimwhowouldsogladlyhaveobeyedhersmallestwishhadshebutexpressedit!SheneverknewthatPhiliphadanypainfulassociationwiththeparticularpointonthesea—shorethatsheinstinctivelyavoided,bothfromaconsciousnessofwifelyduty,andalsobecausethesightofitbroughtupsomuchsharppain。Philipusedtowonderifthedreamthatprecededherillnesswasthesuggestivecausethatdrewhersooftentotheshore。Herillnessconsequentuponthatdreamhadfilledhismind,sothatformanymonthshehimselfhadhadnohauntingvisionofKinraidtodisturbhisslumbers。ButnowtheolddreamofKinraid'sactualpresencebyPhilip'sbedsidebegantoreturnwithfearfulvividness。Nightafternightitrecurred;eachtimewithsomenewtouchofreality,andcloseapproach;tillitwasasifthefatethatovertakesallmenwerethen,eventhen,knockingathisdoor。InhisbusinessPhilipprospered。Menpraisedhimbecausehedidwelltohimself。Hehadtheperseverance,thecapabilityforhead—workandcalculation,thesteadinessandgeneralforethoughtwhichmighthavemadehimagreatmerchantifhehadlivedinalargecity。Withoutanyeffortofhisown,almost,too,withoutCoulson'sbeingawareofit,Philipwasnowinthepositionofsuperiorpartner;theonetosuggestandarrange,whileCoulsononlycarriedouttheplansthatemanatedfromPhilip。Thewholeworkoflifewassuitedtotheman:hedidnotaspiretoanydifferentposition,onlytothefulldevelopmentofthecapabilitiesofthatwhichhealreadyheld。Hehadoriginatedseveralfreshschemeswithregardtothetrafficoftheshop;andhisoldmasters,withalltheirloveoftriedways,anddistrustofeverythingnew,hadbeencandidenoughtoconfessthattheirsuccessors'planshadresultedinsuccess。'Theirsuccessors。'Philipwascontentwithhavingthepowerwhentheexerciseofitwasrequired,andnevernamedhisownimportantshareinthenewimprovements。Possibly,ifhehad,Coulson'svanitymighthavetakenthealarm,andhemightnothavebeensoacquiescentforthefuture。Asitwas,heforgothisownsubordinateshare,andalwaysusedtheimperial'we,''wethought,''itstruckus,'
&c。
chapter32CHAPTERXXXIIRESCUEDFROMTHEWAVESMeanwhileHestercameandwentasusual;insoquietandmethodicalaway,withsoevenandundisturbedatemper,thatshewasalmostforgottenwheneverythingwentwellintheshoporhousehold。Shewasastar,thebrightnessofwhichwasonlyrecognizedintimesofdarkness。SheherselfwasalmostsurprisedatherownincreasingregardforSylvia。ShehadnotthoughtsheshouldeverbeabletolovethewomanwhohadbeensuchalaggardinacknowledgingPhilip'smerits;andfromallshehadeverheardofSylviabeforeshecametoknowher,fromtheangrywordswithwhichSylviahadreceivedherwhenshehadfirstgonetoHaytersbankFarm,Hesterhadintendedtoremainonfriendlyterms,buttoavoidintimacy。ButherkindnesstoBellRobsonhadwonboththemother'sanddaughter'shearts;andinspiteofherself,certainlyagainstherownmother'sadvice,shehadbecomethefamiliarfriendandwelcomeguestofthehousehold。NowtheverychangeinSylvia'swholemannerandways,whichgrievedandvexedPhilip,madehiswifethemoreattractivetoHester。BroughtupamongQuakers,althoughnotoneherself,sheadmiredandrespectedthestaidnessandoutwardpeacefulnesscommonamongsttheyoungwomenofthatsect。Sylvia,whomshehadexpectedtofindvolatile,talkative,vain,andwilful,wasquietandstill,asifshehadbeenbornaFriend:sheseemedtohavenowillofherown;sheservedhermotherandchildforlove;sheobeyedherhusbandinallthings,andneverappearedtopineaftergaietyorpleasure。
AndyetattimesHesterthought,orratheraflashcameacrosshermind,asifallthingswerenotasrightastheyseemed。Philiplookedolder,morecare—worn;nay,evenHesterwasobligedtoallowtoherselfthatshehadheardhimspeaktohiswifeinsharp,aggrievedtones。InnocentHester!
shecouldnotunderstandhowtheveryqualitiesshesoadmiredinSylviawerejustwhatweresoforeigntohernaturethatthehusband,whohadknownherfromachild,feltwhatanunnaturalrestraintshewasputtinguponherself,andwouldhavehailedpetulantwordsorwilfulactionswithanunspeakablethankfulnessforrelief。Oneday——itwasinthespringof1798——HesterwasengagedtostaytoteawiththeHepburns,inorderthatafterthatearlymealshemightsettoagaininhelpingPhilipandCoulsontopackawaythewinterclothsandflannels,forwhichtherewasnolongeranyuse。Thetea—timewashalf—pastfour;aboutfouro'clockaheavyAprilshowercameon,thehailpatteringagainstthewindow—panessoastoawakenMrsRobsonfromherafternoon'snap。Shecamedownthecorkscrewstairs,andfoundPhoebeintheparlourarrangingthetea—things。PhoebeandMrsRobsonwerebetterfriendsthanPhoebeandheryoungmistress;
andsotheybegantotalkalittletogetherinacomfortable,familiarway。OnceortwicePhiliplookedin,asifhewouldbegladtoseethetea—tableinreadiness;andthenPhoebewouldputonaspurtofbusybustle,whichceasedalmostassoonashisbackwasturned,soeagerwasshetoobtainMrsRobson'ssympathyinsomelittledisputethathadoccurredbetweenherandthenursemaid。Thelatterhadmisappropriatedsomehotwater,preparedandrequiredbyPhoebe,tothewashingofthebaby'sclothes;itwasalongstory,andwouldhavetiredthepatienceofanyoneinfullpossessionoftheirsenses;butthedetailswerejustwithinpoorBell'scomprehension,andshewaslisteningwiththegreatestsympathy。Boththewomenwereunawareofthelapseoftime;butitwasofconsequencetoPhilip,astheextralabourwasnottobebegununtilaftertea,andthedaylighthourswereprecious。AtaquartertofiveHesterandhecamein,andthenPhoebebegantohurry。
HesterwentuptositbyBellandtalktoher。PhilipspoketoPhoebeinthefamiliarwordsofcountry—folk。Indeed,untilhismarriage,PhoebehadalwayscalledhimbyhisChristianname,andhadfounditverydifficulttochangeitinto'master。''Where'sSylvie?'saidhe。'Goneoutwi't'babby,'repliedPhoebe。'Whycan'tNancycarryitout?'askedPhilip。Itwastouchingontheoldgrievance:hewastired,andhespokewithsharpannoyance。Phoebemighteasilyhavetoldhimtherealstateofthecase;
Nancywasbusyatherwashing,whichwouldhavebeenreasonenough。Butthenursemaidhadvexedher,andshedidnotlikePhilip'ssharpness,sosheonlysaid,——'It'snoaneo'mybusiness;it'syo't'lookafteryo'rownwifeandchild;
第23章