I'llnoanespeakillonthedead,butIwereuneasylike。Butsin'Philipandtheeseemtoha'madeitup————'Sylviashivered,andopenedhermouthtospeak,butdidnotsayaword。'Andsin'theLordhasbeencomfortingme,andtalkingtomemanyatimewhenthou'sthoughtIwereasleep,thingshasseemedtoreddtheirselvesup,andifDanielgoes,I'mreadytofollow。Icouldniverstandlivingtohearfolkssayhe'dbeenhung;itseemssounnaturalandshameful。''But,mother,hewon't!——heshan'tbehung!'saidSylvia,springingtoherfeet。'Philipsayshewon't。'Bellshookherhead。Theywalkedon,Sylviabothdisheartenedandalmostirritatedathermother'sdespondency。ButbeforetheywenttobedatnightBellsaidthingswhichseemedasthoughthemorning'sfeelingshadbeenbuttemporary,andasifshewasreferringeverydecisiontotheperiodofherhusband'sreturn。'Whenfathercomeshome,'seemedasortofburdenatthebeginningorendofeverysentence,andthisrelianceonhiscertaincomingbacktothemwasalmostasgreatatrialtoSylviaastheabsenceofallhopehadbeeninthemorning。Butthatinstincttoldherthathermotherwasbecomingincapableofargument,shewouldhaveaskedherwhyherviewsweresoessentiallychangedinsofewhours。ThisinabilityofreasoninpoorBellmadeSylviafeelverydesolate。Mondaypassedover——how,neitherofthemknew,forneitherspokeofwhatwasfillingthethoughtsofboth。BeforeitwaslightonTuesdaymorning,Bellwasastir。'It'sveryearly,mother,'saidweary,sleepySylvia,dreadingreturningconsciousness。'Ay,lass!'saidBell,inabrisk,cheerfultone;'buthe'll,maybe,behometo—night,andI'seboundtohaveallthingsreadyforhim。''Anyhow,'saidSylvia,sittingupinbed,'hecouldn'tcomehometo—night。''Tut,lass!thoudoesn'tknowhowquickamancomeshometowifeandchild。
I'llbea'readyatanyrate。'ShehurriedaboutinawaywhichSylviawonderedtosee;tillatlengthshefanciedthatperhapshermotherdidsotodriveawaythought。Everyplacewascleaned;therewasscarcetimeallowedforbreakfast;tillatlast,longbeforemid—day,alltheworkwasdone,andthetwosatdowntotheirspinning—wheels。Sylvia'sspiritssanklowerandlowerateachspeechofhermother's,fromwhosemindallfearseemedtohavedisappeared,leavingonlyastrangerestlesskindofexcitement。'It'stimefort'potatoes,'saidBell,afterherwoolhadsnappedmanyatimefromheruneventread。'Mother,'saidSylvia,'it'sbutjustgoneten!''Put'emon,'saidBell,withoutattendingtothefullmeaningofherdaughter'swords。'It'll,maybe,hastent'dayonifwegetdinnerdonebetimes。''ButKesterisint'FarAcrefield,andhe'llnotbehometillnoon。'Thisseemedtosettlemattersforawhile;butthenBellpushedherwheelaway,andbegansearchingforherhoodandcloak。Sylviafoundthemforher,andthenaskedsadly——'Whatdoestawant'emfor,mother?''I'llgoupt'browandthrought'field,andjusthavealookdownt'
lane。''I'llgowi'thee,'saidSylvia,feelingallthetimetheuselessnessofanylookingforintelligencefromYorksoearlyintheday。Verypatientlydidshewaitbyhermother'ssideduringthelonghalf—hourwhichBellspentingazingdowntheroadforthosewhonevercame。WhentheygothomeSylviaputthepotatoesontoboil;butwhendinnerwasreadyandthethreewereseatedatthedresser;Bellpushedherplateawayfromher,sayingitwassolongafterdinnertimethatshewaspasteating。Kesterwouldhavesaidsomethingaboutitsbeingonlyhalf—pasttwelve,butSylviagavehimalookbeseechingsilence,andhewentonwithhisdinnerwithoutaword,onlybrushingawaythetearsfromhiseyeswiththebackofhishandfromtimetotime。'A'llnoanegofarfra'homet'resto't'day,'saidhe,inawhispertoSylvia,ashewentout。'Willthisdaynivercometoanend?'criedBell,plaintively。'Oh,mother!it'llcometoanendsometime,neverfear。I'veheerdsay——"Bethedaywearyorbethedaylong,Atlengthitringethtoeven—song。"''Toeven—song——toeven—song,'repeatedBell。'D'yethinknowthateven—songmeansdeath,Sylvie?''Icannottell——Icannotbearit。Mother,'saidSylvia,indespair,'I'llmakesomeclap—bread:that'saheavyjob,andwillwhileawayt'afternoon。''Ay,do!'repliedthemother。'He'lllikeitfresh——he'lllikeitfresh。'Murmuringandtalkingtoherself,shefellintoadoze,fromwhichSylviawascarefulnottodisturbher。Thedayswerenowgettinglong,althoughascoldasever;andatHaytersbankFarmthelightlingered,astherewasnonearhorizontobringonearlydarkness。Sylviahadallreadyforhermother'steaagainstshewakened;
butshesleptonandon,thepeacefulsleepofachild,andSylviadidnotcaretowakenher。Justafterthesunhadset,shesawKesteroutsidethewindowmakingsignstohertocomeout。Shestoleoutontip—toebytheback—kitchen,thedoorofwhichwasstandingopen。ShealmostranagainstPhilip,whodidnotperceiveher,ashewasawaitinghercomingtheotherwayroundthecornerofthehouse,andwhoturneduponherafacewhoseimportshereadinaninstant。'Philip!'wasallshesaid,andthenshefaintedathisfeet,comingdownwithaheavybangontheroundpavingstonesoftheyard。'Kester!Kester!'hecried,forshelookedlikeonedead,andwithallhisstrengththeweariedmancouldnotliftherandcarryherintothehouse。WithKester'shelpshewasborneintotheback—kitchen,andKesterrushedtothepumpforsomecoldwatertothrowoverher。WhilePhilip,kneelingatherhead,waspartlysupportingherinhisarms,andheedlessofanysightorsound,theshadowofsomeonefelluponhim。
Helookedupandsawhisaunt;theolddignified,sensibleexpressiononherface,exactlylikeherformerself,composed,strong,andcalm。'Mylass,'saidshe,sittingdownbyPhilip,andgentlytakingheroutofhisarmsintoherown。'Lass,bearup!wemunbearup,andbeagainonourwaytohim,he'llbeneedingusnow。Bearup,mylass!theLordwillgiveusstrength。Wemungotohim;ay,time'sprecious;thoumuncrythycryatafter!'Sylviaopenedherdimeyes,andheardhermother'svoice;theideascameslowlyintohermind,andslowlysheroseup,standingstill,likeonewhohasbeenstunned,toregainherstrength;andthen,takingholdofhermother'sarm,shesaid,inasoft,strangevoice——'Let'sgo。I'mready。'
chapter28CHAPTERXXVIIITHEORDEALItwastheafternoonofanAprildayinthatsameyear,andtheskywasblueabove,withlittlesailingwhitecloudscatchingthepleasantsunlight。
Theearthinthatnortherncountryhadscarcelyyetputonherrobeofgreen。Thefewtreesgrewnearbrooksrunningdownfromthemoorsandthehigherground。Theairwasfullofpleasantsoundsprophesyingofthecomingsummer。Therush,andmurmur,andtinkleofthehiddenwatercourses;thesongofthelarkpoisedhighupinthesunnyair;thebleatofthelambscallingtotheirmothers——everythinginanimatewasfullofhopeandgladness。ForthefirsttimeforamournfulmonththefrontdoorofHaytersbankFarmwasopen;thewarmspringairmightenter,anddisplacethesaddarkgloom,ifitcould。Therewasanewly—lightedfireintheunusedgrate;andKesterwasinthekitchen,withhisclogsoffhisfeet,soasnottodirtythespotlessfloor,stirringhereandthere,andtryinginhisawkwardwaytomakethingslookhome—likeandcheerful。Hehadbroughtinsomewilddaffodilswhichhehadbeentoseekinthedawn,andheplacedtheminajugonthedresser。DollyReid,thewomanwhohadcometohelpSylviaduringhermother'sillnessayearago,wasattendingtosomethingintheback—kitchen,makinganoiseamongthemilk—cans,andsingingaballadtoherselfassheworked;yeteverynowandthenshecheckedherselfinhersinging,asifasuddenrecollectioncameuponherthatthiswasneitherthetimenortheplaceforsongs。Onceortwiceshetookupthefuneralpsalmwhichissungbythebearersofthebodyinthatcountry——OurGod,ourhelpinagespast。Butitwasofnouse:thepleasantAprilweatheroutofdoors,andperhapsthenaturalspringinthebody,disposedhernaturetocheerfulness,andinsensiblyshereturnedtoheroldditty。Kesterwasturningovermanythingsinhisrudehonestmindashestoodthere,givinghisfinishingtoucheseverynowandthentotheaspectofthehouse—place,inpreparationforthereturnofthewidowanddaughterofhisoldmaster。Itwasamonthandmoresincetheyhadlefthome;morethanafortnightsinceKester,withthreehalfpenceinhispocket,hadsetoutafterhisday'sworktogotoYork——towalkallnightlong,andtowishDanielRobsonhislastfarewell。Danielhadtriedtokeepupandhadbroughtoutoneortwofamiliar,thread—bare,well—wornjokes,suchashehadmadeKesterchuckleovermanyatimeandoft,whenthetwohadbeentogetherafieldorintheshippenatthehomewhichheshouldnevermoresee。Butno'OldGrouseinthegunroom'couldmakeKestersmile,ordoanythingexceptgroaninbutaheart—brokensortoffashion,andpresentlythetalkhadbecomemoresuitabletotheoccasion,Danielbeinguptothelastthemorecomposedofthetwo;forKester,whenturnedoutofthecondemnedcell,fairlybrokedownintotheheavysobbinghehadneverthoughttosobagainonearth。HehadleftBellandSylviaintheirlodgingatYork,underPhilip'scare;hedarednotgotoseethem;
hecouldnottrusthimself;hehadsentthemhisduty,andbadePhiliptellSylviathatthegame—henhadbroughtoutfifteenchickensatahatch。YetalthoughKestersentthismessagethroughPhilip——althoughhesawandrecognizedallthatPhilipwasdoingintheirbehalf,inthebehalfofDanielRobson,thecondemnedfelon,hishonouredmaster——helikedHepburnnotawhitbetterthanhehaddonebeforeallthissorrowhadcomeuponthem。Philiphad,perhaps,shownawantoftactinhisconducttoKester。Acutewithpassionatekeennessinonedirection,hehadasortofdullstraightforwardnessinallothers。Forinstance,hehadreturnedKesterthemoneywhichthelatterhadsogladlyadvancedtowardstheexpensesincurredindefendingDaniel。NowthemoneywhichPhilipgavehimbackwaspartofanadvancewhichFosterBrothershadmadeonPhilip'sownaccount。PhiliphadthoughtthatitwashardonKestertolosehissavingsinahopelesscause,andhadmadeapointofrepayingtheoldman;butKesterwouldfarratherhavefeltthattheearningsofthesweatofhisbrowhadgoneintheattempttosavehismaster'slifethanhavehadtwicetentimesasmanygoldenguineas。Moreover,itseemedtotakehisactioninlendinghishoardoutofthesphereoflove,andmakeitbutaleadencommonloan,whenitwasPhilipwhobroughthimthesum,notSylvia,intowhosehandshehadgivenit。WiththesefeelingsKesterfelthisheartshutupashesawthelong—watched—fortwocomingdownthelittlepathwithathirdperson;withPhilipholdingupthefailingstepsofpoorBellRobson,as,loadedwithherheavymourning,andfeeblefromtheillnesswhichhaddetainedherinYorkeversincethedayofherhusband'sexecution,shecamefalteringbacktoherdesolatehome。Sylviawasalsooccupiedinattendingtohermother;oneortwice,whentheypausedalittle,sheandPhilipspoke,inthefamiliarwayinwhichthereisnocoynessnorreserve。Kestercaughtuphisclogs,andwentquicklyoutthroughtheback—kitchenintothefarmyard,notstayingtogreetthem,ashehadmeanttodo;andyetitwasdull—sightedofhimnottohaveperceivedthatwhatevermightbetherelationsbetweenPhilipandSylvia,hewassuretohaveaccompaniedthemhome;for,alas!hewastheonlymaleprotectoroftheirbloodremainingintheworld。PoorKester,whowouldfainhavetakenthatofficeuponhimself,chosetoesteemhimselfcastoff,andwentheavilyaboutthefarmyard,knowingthatheoughttogoinandbidsuchpoorwelcomeashehadtooffer,yetfeelingtoomuchtoliketoshowhimselfbeforePhilip。Itwaslong,too,beforeanyonehadleisuretocomeandseekhim。Bell'smindhadflashedupforatime,tillthefatalday,onlytobereducedbyhersubsequentillnessintocompleteandhopelesschildishness。ItwasallPhilipandSylviacoulddotomanageherinthefirstexcitementofreturninghome;herrestlessinquiryforhimwhowouldnevermorebepresentinthefamiliarscene,herfeverishwearinessanduneasiness,allrequiredtendersoothingandmostpatientenduranceofherrefusalstobesatisfiedwithwhattheysaidordid。Atlengthshetooksomefood,and,refreshedbyit,andwarmedbythefire,shesankasleepinherchair。ThenPhilipwouldfainhavespokenwithSylviabeforethehourcameatwhichhemustreturntoMonkshaven,butsheeludedhim,andwentinsearchofKester,whosepresenceshehadmissed。Shehadguessedsomeofthecauseswhichkepthimfromgreetingthemontheirfirstreturn。Butitwasnotasifshehadshapedthesecausesintothedefiniteformofwords。Itisastonishingtolookbackandfindhowdifferentlyconstitutedwerethemindsofmostpeoplefiftyorsixtyyearsago;theyfelt,theyunderstood,withoutgoingthroughreasoningoranalyticprocesses,andifthiswasthecaseamongthemoreeducatedpeople,ofcourseitwasstillmoresointheclasstowhichSylviabelonged。SheknewbysomesortofintuitionthatifPhilipaccompaniedthemhome(as,indeed,underthecircumstances,wassonaturalastobealmostunavoidable),theoldservantandfriendofthefamilywouldabsenthimself;andsosheslippedawayatthefirstpossiblemomenttogoinsearchofhim。Therehewasinthefarm—yard,leaningoverthegatethatopenedintothehome—field,apparentlywatchingthepoultrythatscratchedandpeckedatthenew—springinggrasswiththeutmostrelish。Alittlefartheroffweretheeweswiththeirnew—droppedlambs,beyondthatthegreatoldthorn—treewithitsroundfreshclustersofbuds,againbeyondthattherewasaglimpseofthevastsunnyripplingsea;butSylviaknewwellthatKesterwaslookingatnoneofthesethings。Shewentuptohimandtouchedhisarm。Hestartedfromhisreverie,andturnedrounduponherwithhisdimeyesfullofunshedtears。whenhesawherblackdress,herdeepmourning,hehadhardworktokeepfrombreakingout,butbydintofagoodbrushofhiseyeswiththebackofhishand,andamoment'spause,hecouldlookatheragainwithtolerablecalmness。'Why,Kesterwhydidstnivercometospeaktous?'saidSylvia,findingitnecessarytobecheerfulifshecould。'Adunknow;niveraxme。Asay,they'ngi'enDickSimpson'(whoseevidencehadbeenallmaterialagainstpoorDanielRobsonatthetrial)'a't'rotteneggsandfou'thingstheycouldo'Saturday,theydid,'continuedhe,inatoneofsatisfaction;'ay,andtheyniverstoppedt'seewhethert'
eggswererottenorfreshwhentheirbloodwasup——norwhetherstoneswashardorsoft,'headded,inalowertone,andchucklingalittle。Sylviawassilent。Helookedathernow,chucklingstill。Herfacewaswhite,herlipstightened,hereyesaflame。Shedrewalongbreath。'IwishI'dbeentheere!IwishIcoulddohimanillturn,'sighedshe,withsomekindofexpressiononherfacethatmadeKesterquailalittle。'Nay,lass!he'llgetitfra'others。Niverfretthysel'aboutsichrubbish。
A'ndoneilltospeakonhim。''No!thouhasn't。Thenaswasfriendso'father'sI'llloveforiverandiver;themashelpedfort'hanghim'(sheshudderedfromheadtofoot——asharpirrepressibleshudder!)'I'llniverforgive——niver!''Niver'salongword,'saidKester,musingly。'Acouldhorsewhiphim,orcaststonesathim,orduckhimmysel';but,lass!niver'salongword!''Well!niverheedifitis——it'smeassaidit,andI'mturnedsavagelatedays。Comein,Kester,andseepoormother。''Acannot,'saidhe,turninghiswrinkledpuckeredfaceaway,thatshemightnotseethetwitchingsofemotiononit。'There'skinetobefetchedup,andwhatnot,andhe'stheere,isn'the,Sylvie?'facingrounduponherwithinquisitiveness。Underhispeeringeyesshereddenedalittle。'Yes,ifit'sPhilipthoumeans;he'sbeenallwe'vehadtolooktosin'。'
Againtheshudder。'Well,nowhe'llbeseem'afterhisshop,areckon?'Sylviawascallingtotheoldmarenibblingtuftsofearly—springinggrasshereandthere,andhalfunconsciouslycoaxingthecreaturetocometothegatetobestroked。ButsheheardKester'swordswellenough,andsohesaw,althoughshemadethisexcusenottoreply。ButKesterwasnottobeputoff。'Folksistalkin'abouttheeandhim;thou'llha'tomindlesttheeandhimgetsyo'rnamescoupledtogether。''It'srightdowncruelonfolks,then,'saidshe,crimsoningfromsomeemotion。'Asifanymanaswasamanwouldn'tdoallhecouldfortwolonewomenatsuchatime——andheacousin,too!Tellmewhosaidso,'continuedshe,firingroundatKester,'andI'llniverforgive'em——that'sall。''Hoots!'saidKester,alittleconsciousthathehimselfwastheprincipalrepresentativeofthatnameofmultitudefolk。'Here'saprettylass;she's'
got"a'llniverforgi'e"athertongue'sendwi'avengeance。'Sylviawasalittleconfused。'Oh,Kester,man,'saidshe,'myheartissoreagain'everyone,forfeyther'ssake。'Andatlengththenaturalreliefofplentifultearscame;andKester,withinstinctivewisdom,letherweepundisturbed;indeed,hecriednotalittlehimself。TheywereinterruptedbyPhilip'svoicefromtheback—door。'Sylvie,yourmother'sawake,andwantsyou!''Come,Kester,come,'andtakingholdofhimshedrewhimwithherintothehouse。Bellroseastheycamein,holdingbythearmsofthechair。AtfirstshereceivedKesterasthoughhehadbeenastranger。'I'mgladtoseeyo',sir;t'master'sout,buthe'llbeinaforelong。
It'llbeaboutt'lambsyo'recome,mebbe?''Mother!'saidSylvia,'dunnotyo'see?it'sKester,——Kester,wi'hisSundayclotheson。''Kester!ay,sureitis;myeyeshavegettensosoreanddimoflate;justasifI'dbeengreeting。I'msure,lad,I'mgladtoseethee!It'salongtimeI'vebeenaway,butitwerenotpleasure—seekingastookme,itwerebusinesso'somemak'——tellhim,Sylvie,whatitwere,formyhead'scleangone。IonlyknowIwouldn'tha'lefthomeifIcouldha'helpedit;forIthinkIshouldha'keptmyhealthbetterifI'dbidedathomewi'mymaster。Iwonderashe'snotcomedinfort'bidmewelcome?Ishefarafield,thinkye,Kester?'KesterlookedatSylvia,mutelyimploringhertohelphimoutinthedilemmaofanswering,butshewasdoingallshecouldtohelpcrying。Philipcametotherescue。'Aunt,'saidhe,'theclockhasstopped;canyoutellmewheret'findt'key,andI'llwinditup。''T'key,'saidshe,hurriedly,'t'key,it'sbehindth'bigBibleonyonshelf。ButI'draytherthouwouldn'ttouchit,lad;it'st'master'swork,andhedistrustsfolkmeddlingwi'it。'Dayafterdaytherewasthisconstantreferencetoherdeadhusband。Inonesenseitwasablessing;allthecircumstancesattendantonhissadanduntimelyendweresweptoutofhermindalongwiththerecollectionofthefactitself。Shereferredtohimasabsent,andhadalwayssomeplausiblewayofaccountingforit,whichsatisfiedherownmind;and,accordinglytheyfellintothehabitofhumouringher,andspeakingofhimasgonetoMonkshaven,orafield,orweariedout,andtakinganapupstairs,asherfancyledhertobelieveforthemoment。Butthisforgetfulness,thoughhappyforherself,wasterribleforherchild。ItwasaconstantrenewingofSylvia'sgrief,whilehermothercouldgivehernosympathy,nohelp,orstrengthinanycircumstancesthataroseoutofthisgrief。
ShewasdrivenmoreandmoreuponPhilip;hisadviceandhisaffectionbecamedailymorenecessarytoher。KestersawwhatwouldbetheendofallthismoreclearlythanSylviadidherself;and,impotenttohinderwhathefearedanddisliked,hegrewmoreandmoresurlyeveryday。Yethetriedtolabourhardandwellfortheinterestsofthefamily,asiftheywereboundupinhisgoodmanagementofthecattleandland。Hewasoutandaboutbytheearliestdawn,workingalldaylongwithmightandmain。Heboughthimselfapairofnewspectacles,whichmight,hefancied,enablehimtoreadtheFarmer'sCompleteGuide,hisdeadmaster'svade—mecum。Buthehadneverlearntmorethanhiscapitalletters,andhadforgottenmanyofthem;sothespectaclesdidhimbutlittlegood。ThenhewouldtakethebooktoSylvia,andaskhertoreadtohimtheinstructionsheneeded;instructions,beitnoted,thathewouldformerlyhavedespisedasmerebook—learning:buthispresentsenseofresponsibilityhadmadehimhumble。Sylviawouldfindtheplacewithalldeliberation:andputtingherfingerunderthelinetokeeptheexactplaceofthewordshewasreading,shewouldstriveingoodearnesttoreadoutthedirectionsgiven;butwheneveryfourthwordhadtobespelt,itwasratherhopelesswork,especiallyasallthesewordswereunintelligibletotheopen—mouthedlistener,howeverintenthemightbe。Hehadgenerallytofallbackonhisownexperience:
and,guidedbythat,thingswerenotdoingbadlyinhisestimation,when,oneday,Sylviasaidtohim,astheywereinthehay—field,heapingupthehayintocockswithDollyReid'sassistance——'Kester——Ididn'ttellthee——therewerealetterfromMeasterHall,LordMalton'ssteward,thatcamelastnightandthatPhilipreadme。'Shestoppedforamoment。'Aylass!Philipreaditthee,andwhattenmightitsay?''OnlythathehadanofferforHaytersbankFarm,andwouldsetmotherfreetogoassoonast'cropswasofft'ground。'Shesighedalittleasshesaidthis。"'Only!"saystta?Whattenbusinesshashefortogoan'offertolett'
farmaforeiverheweretoldasyo'wishedtoleaveit?'observedKester,inhighdudgeon。'Oh!'repliedSylvia,throwingdownherrake,asifwearyoflife。'Whatcouldwedowi't'farmandland?IfitwerealldairyImightha'done,butwi'somuchonitarable。''Andif'tisarableisnotIallaystot'fore?''Oh,man,dunnotfindfaultwi'me!I'mjustfaintoliedownanddie,ifitwerenotformother。''Ay!thymotherwillbesoreunsettledifthou'sforquittingHaytersbank,'
saidmercilessKester。'Icannothelpit;Icannothelpit!WhatcanIdo?Itwouldtaketwopairo'men'shandstokeept'landupasMeasterHalllikesit;andbeside————''Besidewhat?'saidKester,lookingupatherwithhissuddenoddlook,oneeyeshut,theotheropen:thereshestood,hertwohandsclaspedtighttogether,hereyesfillingwithtears,herfacepaleandsad。'Besidewhat?'
heaskedagain,sharply。'T'answer'ssenttoMeasterHall——Philipwroteitlastnight;sothere'snouseplanningandfretting,itweredonefort'best,andmunbedone。'
Shestoopedandpickedupherrake,andbegantossingthehaywithenergy,thetearsstreamingdownhercheeksunheeded。ItwasKester'sturntothrowdownhisrake。Shetooknonotice,hedidnotfeelsurethatshehadobservedhisaction。Hebegantowalktowardsthefieldgate;thismovementdidcatchhereye,forinaminuteherhandwasonhisarm,andshewasstoopingforwardtolookintohisface。Itwasworkingandtwitchingwithemotion。
'Kester!oh,man!speakout,butdunnotleavemeathis—ns。WhatcouldIha'done?Motherisgonedatelesswi'sorrow,andIambutayounglass,i'yearsImean;forI'moldenoughwi'weeping。''I'dha'putupfort'farmmysel',soonerthanhadtheeturnedout,'saidKester,inalowvoice;thenworkinghimselfupintoapassion,asanewsuspicioncrossedhismind,headded,'An'whatfordidn'tyo'tellmeont'letter?Yo'wereinamightyhurrytosettleita',andgetridont'oudplace。''MeasterHallhadsentanoticetoquitonMidsummerday;butPhiliphadansweredithisself。ThouknowsI'mnotgoodatreadingwriting,'specialwhenaletter'sfullo'longwords,andPhiliphadta'enitinhandtoanswer。''Wi'outaskingthee?'Sylviawentonwithoutmindingtheinterruption。'AndMeasterHallmakesagoodoffer,fort'manasisgoingtocomeinwilltaket'stockanda't'implements;andifmother——ifwe——ifI——like,th'furnitureanda'————''Furniture!'saidKester,ingrimsurprise。'What'stocomeo't'missusandthee,thatyo'llnotneedabedtolieon,orapottoboilyo'rvittelin?'Sylviareddened,butkeptsilence。'Cannotyo'speak?''Oh,Kester,Ididn'tthinkthou'dturnagain'me,andmesofriendless。
It'sasifI'dbeendoin'somethingwrong,andIhavesostriventoactasisbest;there'smotheraswellasmetobethoughton。''Cannotyo'answeraquestion?'saidKester,oncemore。'Whatten'supthatt'missusandyo'llnotneedbedandtable,potsandpans?''IthinkI'mgoingtomarryPhilip,'saidSylvia,insolowatone,thatifKesterhadnotsuspectedwhatheranswerwastobe,hecouldnothaveunderstoodit。Afteramoment'spauseherecommencedhiswalktowardsthefieldgate。
Butshewentafterhimandheldhimtightbythearm,speakingrapidly。'Kester,whatcouldIdo?WhatcanIdo?He'smycousin,andmotherknowshim,andlikeshim;andhe'sbeensogoodtousina'thistimeo'troubleandheavygrief,andhe'llkeepmotherincomfortallt'restofherdays。''Ay,andtheeincomfort。There'sadealinawell—filledpurseinawench'seyes,oronewouldha'thoughtitweren'tsoeasyforgettin'yonladaslovedtheeast'appleonhiseye。''Kester,Kester,'shecried,'I'veniverforgottenCharley;Ithinkonhim,Iseehimiverynightlyingdrownedatt'bottomo't'sea。Forgettenhim!Man!it'seasytalking!'Shewaslikeawildcreaturethatseesitsyoung,butisunabletoreachitwithoutadeadlyspring,andyetispreparingtotakethatfatalleap。Kesterhimselfwasalmoststartled,andyetitwasasifhemustgoontorturingher。'An'whotelledtheesosureandcertainasheweredrowned?Hemightha'
beencarriedoffbyt'press—gangaswellasothermen。''Oh!ifIwerebutdeadthatImightknowall!'criedshe,flingingherselfdownonthehay。Kesterkeptsilence。Thenshesprangupagain,andlookingwitheagerwistfulnessintohisface,shesaid,——'Tellmet'chances。Tellmequick!Philip'sverygood,andkind,andhesaysheshalldieifIwillnotmarryhim,andthere'snohomeformotherandme,——nohomeforher,forasformeIdunnotcarewhatbecomesonme;
butifCharley'saliveIcannotmarryPhilip——no,notifhediesforwanto'me——andasformother,poormother,Kester,it'sanawfulstrait;onlyfirsttellmeifthere'sachance,justoneinathousand,onlyoneinahundredthousand,asCharleywereta'enbyt'gang?'Shewasbreathlessbythistime,whatwithherhurriedwords,andwhatwiththebeatingofherheart。Kestertooktimetoanswer。Hehadspokenbeforetoohastily,thistimeheweighedhiswords。'Kinraidwentawayfromthishereplacet'joinhisship。An'heniverjoineditnomore;an't'captainan'allhisfriendsatNewcasselasiverwere,madesearchforhim,onboardt'。king'sships。That'smorenorfifteenmonthago,an'noughthasiverbeenheerdonhimbyanyman。That'swhat'stobesaidononesideo't'matter。Thenont'otherthere'sthisasisknown。Hishatwerecastupbyt'seawi'aribboninit,asthere'sreasont'thinkashe'dnotha'partedwi'soquickifhe'dhadhisownwill。''Butyo'saidashemightha'beencarriedoffbyt'gang——yo'did,Kester,tho'nowyo'rea'fort'otherside。''Mylass,a'dfainhavehimalive,an'adunnotfancyPhilipforthyhusband;
butit'saseriousjudgmentasthou'sputmeon,an'a'mtryingitfair。
There'sallaysonechancei'athousandashe'salive,fornomaniversawhimdead。Butt'gangwerenoaneaboutMonkshaventhen:therewereniveratenderont'coastnearerthanShields,an'thosetheereweresearched。'Hedidnotsayanymore,butturnedbackintothefield,andtookuphishay—makingagain。Sylviastoodquitestill,thinking,andwistfullylongingforsomekindofcertainty。Kestercameuptoher。'Sylvie,thouknowsPhilippaidmebackmymoney,anditwereeightpoundfifteenandthree—pence;andt'hayandstock'llsellforsummatabovet'rent;anda'veasisterasisadecentwidow—woman,tho'butbadlyoff,livin'atDaleEnd;andiftheeandthymother'llgolivewi'her,a'llgivetheewellontoallacanearn,andit'llbeamattero'fiveshillingaweek。Butdunnotgoandmarryamanasthou'snoanetakenwi',andanotherasismostlikefort'bedead,butwho,mebbe,isalive,havin'apullonthyheart。'Sylviabegantocryasifherheartwasbroken。ShehadpromisedherselfmorefullytoPhilipthenightbeforethanshehadtoldKester;and,withsomepainsandmuchpatience,hercousin,herlover,alas!herfuturehusband,hadmadethefactcleartothebewilderedmindofherpoormother,whohadalldaylongshownthathermindandheartwerefullofthesubject,andthatthecontemplationofitwasgivingherasmuchpeaceasshecouldeverknow。AndnowKester'swordscametocallupechoesinthepoorgirl'sheart。Justasshewasinthismiserablestate,wishingthatthegravelayopenbeforeher,andthatshecouldliedown,andbecoveredupbythesoftgreenturffromallthebittersorrowsandcarkingcaresandwearybewildermentsofthislife;wishingthatherfatherwasalive,thatCharliewasoncemorehere;thatshehadnotrepeatedthesolemnwordsbywhichshehadpromisedherselftoPhiliponlytheveryeveningbefore,sheheardasoft,lowwhistle,and,lookingroundunconsciously,therewasherloverandaffiancedhusband,leaningonthegate,andgazingintothefieldwithpassionateeyes,devouringthefairfaceandfigureofher,hisfuturewife。'Oh,Kester,'saidsheoncemore,'whatmunIdo?I'mpledgedtohimasstrongaswordscanmakeit,andmotherblessedusbothwi'moresensethanshe'shadforweeks。Kester,man,speak!ShallIgoandbreakitalloff?——say。''Nay,it'snoaneformet'say;m'appenthou'sgonetoofar。Themaboveonlyknowswhatisbest。'Againthatlong,cooingwhistle。'Sylvie!''He'sbeenverykindtousall,'saidSylvie,layingherrakedownwithslowcare,'andI'lltryt'makehimhappy。'
chapter29CHAPTERXXIXWEDDINGRAIMENTPhilipandSylviawereengaged。ItwasnotsohappyastateofthingsasPhiliphadimagined。Hehadalreadyfoundthatout,althoughitwasnottwenty—fourhourssinceSylviahadpromisedtobehis。Hecouldnothavedefinedwhyhewasdissatisfied;ifhehadbeencompelledtoaccountforhisfeeling,hewouldprobablyhaveallegedasareasonthatSylvia'smannerwassounchangedbyhernewpositiontowardshim。Shewasquietandgentle;
butnoshyer,nobrighter,nocoyer,nohappier,thanshehadbeenformonthsbefore。Whenshejoinedhimatthefield—gate,hisheartwasbeatingfast,hiseyeswerebeamingoutloveatherapproach。Sheneitherblushednorsmiled,butseemedabsorbedinthoughtofsomekind。Butsheresistedhissilentefforttodrawherawayfromthepathleadingtothehouse,andturnedherfacesteadilyhomewards。Hemurmuredsoftwords,whichshescarcelyheard。Rightintheirwaywasthestonetroughforthefreshbubblingwater,that,issuingfromaroadsidespring,servedforallthehouseholdpurposesofHaytersbankFarm。Byitwerethemilk—cans,glitteringandclean。Sylviaknewsheshouldhavetostopforthese,andcarrythembackhomeinreadinessfortheevening'smilking;andatthistime,duringthisaction,sheresolvedtosaywhatwasonhermind。Theywerethere。Sylviaspoke。'Philip,Kesterhasbeensayingashowitmightha'been————''Well!'saidPhilip。Sylviasatedownontheedgeofthetrough,anddippedherhotlittlehandinthewater。Thenshewentonquickly,andliftingherbeautifuleyestoPhilip'sface,withalookofinquiry——'HethinksasCharleyKinraidmayha'beentookbyt'press—gang。'Itwasthefirsttimeshehadnamedthenameofherformerlovertoherpresentonesincetheday,longagonow,whentheyhadquarrelledabouthim;andtherosycolourflushedherallover;buthersweet,trustfuleyesneverflinchedfromtheirsteady,unconsciousgaze。Philip'sheartstoppedbeating;literally,asifhehadcometoasuddenprecipice,whilehehadthoughthimselfsecurelywalkingonsunnygreensward。
Hewentpurplealloverfromdismay;hedarednottakehiseyesawayfromthatsad,earnestlookofhers,buthewasthankfulthatamistcamebeforethemanddrewaveilbeforehisbrain。Heheardhisownvoicesayingwordshedidnotseemtohaveframedinhisownmind。'Kester'sad——dfool,'hegrowled。'Hesaysthere'smebbebutonechancei'ahundred,'saidSylvia,pleading,asitwere,forKester;'butoh!Philip,thinkyo'there'sjustthatonechance?''Ay,there'sachance,sureenough,'saidPhilip,inakindoffiercedespairthatmadehimrecklesswhathesaidordid。'There'sachance,Isuppose,foriverythingi'lifeaswehavenotseenwithourowneyesasitmaynotha'happened。Kestermaysaynextasthere'sachanceasyourfatherisnotdead,becausewenoneonussawhim————''Hung,'hewasgoingtohavesaid,butatouchofhumanitycamebackintohisstonyheart。Sylviasentupalittlesharpcryathiswords。Helongedatthesoundtotakeherinhisarmsandhushherup,asamotherhushesherweepingchild。Buttheverylonging,havingtoberepressed,onlymadehimmorebesidehimselfwithguilt,anxiety,andrage。Theywerequitestillnow。Sylvialookingsadlydownintothebubbling,merry,flowingwater:Philipglaringather,wishingthatthenextwordwerespoken,thoughitmightstabhimtotheheart。Butshedidnotspeak。Atlength,unabletobearitanylonger,hesaid,'Thousetsadealo'
storeonthatman,Sylvie。'If'thatman'hadbeenthereatthemoment,Philipwouldhavegrappledwithhim,andnotletgohisholdtilloneortheotherweredead。Sylviacaughtsomeofthepassionatemeaningofthegloomy,miserabletoneofPhilip'svoiceashesaidthesewords。Shelookedupathim。'Ithoughtyo'knowedthatIcaredadealforhim。'Therewassomethingsopleadingandinnocentinherpale,troubledface,sopatheticinhertone,thatPhilip'sanger,whichhadbeenexcitedagainsther,aswellasagainstalltherestoftheworld,meltedawayintolove;
andoncemorehefeltthathaveherforhisownhemust,atanycost。Hesatedownbyher,andspoketoherinquiteadifferentmannertothatwhichhehadusedbefore,withareadytactandartwhichsomestrangeinstinctortempter'closeathisear'supplied。'Yes,darling,Iknewyo'caredforhim。I'llnotsayillofhimthatis——dead——ay,deadanddrowned——whativerKestermaysay——beforenow;butifIchoseI
couldtelltales。''No!tellnotales;I'llnothearthem,'saidshe,wrenchingherselfoutofPhilip'sclaspingarm。'Theymaymisca'himforiver,andI'llnotbelieve'em。''I'llnivermiscallonewhoisdead,'saidPhilip;eachnewunconscioussignofthestrengthofSylvia'sloveforherformerloveronlymakinghimthemoreanxioustoconvinceherthathewasdead,onlyrenderinghimmorekeenatdeceivinghisownconsciencebyrepeatingtoittheliethatlongerethisKinraidwasinallprobabilitydead——killedbyeitherthechancesofwarortempestuoussea;that,evenifnot,hewasasgoodasdeadtoher;sothattheword'dead'mightbeusedinallhonestcertainty,asinoneofitsmeaningsKinraidwasdeadforsure。'Thinkyo'thatifhewerenotdeadhewouldn'tha'writtenerethistosomeoneofhiskin,ifnottothee?YetnoneofhisfolkNewcassel—waybutbelievehimdead。''SoKestersays,'sighedSylvia。Philiptookheart。Heputhisarmsoftlyroundheragain,andmurmured——'Mylassie,trynottothinkonthemasisgone,asisdead,butt'thinkabitmoreonhimaslovesyo'wi'heart,andsoul,andmight,andhasdoneiversin'hefirstseteyesonyo'。Oh,Sylvie,mylovefortheeisjustterrible。'AtthismomentDollyReidwasseenattheback—doorofthefarmhouse,andcatchingsightofSylvia,shecalledout——'Sylvia,thymotherisaxingforthee,andIcannotmakehermindeasy。'
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