ItappearedtobetheplanofLudloerathertodampthantostimulatemyzeal。Hediscouragedallattemptstorenewthesubjectinconversation。HedweltuponthearduousnessoftheofficetowhichIaspired，thetemptationstoviolatemydutywithwhichIshouldbecontinuallybeset，theinevitabledeathwithwhichtheslightestbreachofmyengagementswouldbefollowed，andthelongapprenticeshipwhichitwouldbenecessaryformetoserve，beforeIshouldbefittedtoenterintothisconclave。
　　Sometimesmycouragewasdepressedbytheserepresentations。
　　Myzeal，however，wassuretorevive；andatlengthLudloedeclaredhimselfwillingtoassistmeintheaccomplishmentofmywishes。Forthisend，itwasnecessary，hesaid，thatI
　　shouldbeinformedofasecondobligation，whicheverycandidatemustassume。Beforeanyonecouldbedeemedqualified，hemustbethoroughlyknowntohisassociates。Forthisend，hemustdeterminetodiscloseeveryfactinhishistory，andeverysecretofhisheart。Imustbeginwithmakingtheseconfessionswithregardtomypastlife，toLudloe，andmustcontinuetocommunicate，atstatedseasons，everynewthought，andeverynewoccurrence，tohim。Thisconfidencewastobeabsolutelylimitless:noexceptionsweretobeadmitted，andnoreservestobepractised；andthesamepenaltyattendedtheinfractionofthisruleasoftheformer。Meanswouldbeemployed，bywhichtheslightestdeviation，ineithercase，wouldbedetected，andthedeathfulconsequencewouldfollowwithinstantandinevitableexpedition。Ifsecrecyweredifficulttopractise，sincerity，inthatdegreeinwhichitwasheredemanded，wasataskinfinitelymorearduous，andaperiodofnewdeliberationwasnecessarybeforeIshoulddecide。Iwasatlibertytopause:nay，thelongerwastheperiodofdeliberationwhichItook，thebetter；but，whenI
　　hadonceenteredthispath，itwasnotinmypowertorecede。
　　Afterhavingsolemnlyavowedmyresolutiontobethussincereinmyconfession，anyparticleofreserveorduplicitywouldcostmemylife。
　　Thisindeedwasasubjecttobedeeplythoughtupon。HithertoIhadbeenguiltyofconcealmentwithregardtomyfriend。Ihadenteredintonoformalcompact，buthadbeenconscioustoakindoftacitobligationtohidenoimportanttransactionofmylifefromhim。Thisconsciousnesswasthesourceofcontinualanxiety。I
　　hadexerted，onnumerousoccasions，mybivocalfaculty，but，inmyintercoursewithLudloe，hadsufferednottheslightestintimationtoescapemewithregardtoit。Thisreservewasnoteasilyexplained。Itwas，inagreatdegree，theproductofhabit；butI
　　likewiseconsideredthattheefficacyofthisinstrumentdependeduponitsexistencebeingunknown。Toconfidethesecrettoone，wastoputanendtomyprivilege:howwidelytheknowledgewouldthenceforthbediffused，Ihadnopowertoforesee。
　　Eachdaymultipliedtheimpedimentstoconfidence。Shamehinderedmefromacknowledgingmypastreserves。Ludloe，fromthenatureofourintercourse，wouldcertainlyaccountmyreserve，inthisrespect，unjustifiable，andtoexcitehisindignationorcontemptwasanunpleasingundertaking。Now，ifIshouldresolvetopersistinmynewpath，thisreservemustbedismissed:Imustmakehimmasterofasecretwhichwasprecioustomebeyondallothers；byacquaintinghimwithpastconcealments，Imustriskincurringhissuspicionandhisanger。Thesereflectionswereproductiveofconsiderableembarrassment。
　　Therewas，indeed，anavenuebywhichtoescapethesedifficulties，ifitdidnot，atthesametime，plungemeintogreater。Myconfessionsmight，inotherrespects，beunbounded，butmyreserves，inthisparticular，mightbecontinued。YetshouldInotexposemyselftoformidableperils？Wouldmysecretbeforeverunsuspectedandundiscovered？
　　WhenIconsideredthenatureofthisfaculty，theimpossibilityofgoingfartherthansuspicion，sincetheagentcouldbeknownonlybyhisownconfession，andeventhisconfessionwouldnotbebelievedbythegreaterpartofmankind，Iwastemptedtoconcealit。
　　Inmostcases，ifIhadassertedthepossessionofthispower，Ishouldbetreatedasaliar；itwouldbeconsideredasanabsurdandaudaciousexpedienttofreemyselffromthesuspicionofhavingenteredintocompactwithadaemon，orofbeingmyselfanemissaryofthegrandfoe。Here，however，therewasnoreasontodreadasimilarimputation，sinceLudloehaddeniedthepreternaturalpretensionsoftheseairysounds。
　　Myconductonthisoccasionwasnowiseinfluencedbythebeliefofanyinherentsanctityintruth。Ludloehadtaughtmetomodelmyselfinthisrespectentirelywithaviewtoimmediateconsequences。Ifmygenuineinterest，onthewhole，waspromotedbyveracity，itwaspropertoadheretoit；but，iftheresultofmyinvestigationwereopposite，truthwastobesacrificedwithoutscruple。
　　*Paraguay。
　　ChapterVII。
　　Meanwhile，inapointofsomuchmoment，Iwasnothastytodetermine。Mydelayseemedtobe，bynomeans，unacceptabletoLudloe，whoapplaudedmydiscretion，andwarnedmetobecircumspect。Myattentionwaschieflyabsorbedbyconsiderationsconnectedwiththissubject，andlittleregardwaspaidtoanyforeignoccupationoramusement。
　　Oneevening，afteradayspentinmycloset，Isoughtrecreationbywalkingforth。MymindwaschieflyoccupiedbythereviewofincidentswhichhappenedinSpain。Iturnedmyfacetowardsthefields，andrecoverednotfrommyreverie，tillIhadproceededsomemilesontheroadtoMeath。Thenighthadconsiderablyadvanced，andthedarknesswasrenderedintense，bythesettingofthemoon。Beingsomewhatweary，aswellasundeterminedinwhatmannernexttoproceed，Iseatedmyselfonagrassybankbesidetheroad。ThespotwhichIhadchosenwasalooffrompassengers，andshrowdedinthedeepestobscurity。
　　Sometimeelapsed，whenmyattentionwasexcitedbytheslowapproachofanequipage。Ipresentlydiscoveredacoachandsixhorses，butunattended，exceptbycoachmanandpostillion，andwithnolighttoguidethemontheirway。ScarcelyhadtheypassedthespotwhereIrested，whensomeoneleapedfrombeneaththehedge，andseizedtheheadofthefore-horses。Anothercalleduponthecoachmantostop，andthreatenedhimwithinstantdeathifhedisobeyed。Athirddrewopenthecoach-door，andorderedthosewithintodelivertheirpurses。Ashriekofterrorshowedmethataladywaswithin，whoeagerlyconsentedtopreserveherlifebythelossofhermoney。
　　TowalkunarmedintheneighbourhoodofDublin，especiallyatnight，hasalwaysbeenaccounteddangerous。Ihadaboutmetheusualinstrumentsofdefence。Iwasdesirousofrescuingthispersonfromthedangerwhichsurroundedher，butwassomewhatatalosshowtoeffectmypurpose。Mysinglestrengthwasinsufficienttocontendwiththreeruffians。Afteramoment'sdebate，anexpedientwassuggested，whichIhastenedtoexecute。
　　Timehadnotbeenallowedfortheruffianwhostoodbesidethecarriagetoreceivetheplunder，whenseveralvoices，loud，clamorous，andeager，wereheardinthequarterwhencethetravellerhadcome。Bytramplingwithquickness，itwaseasytoimitatethesoundofmanyfeet。Therobberswerealarmed，andonecalleduponanothertoattend。Thesoundsincreased，and，atthenextmoment，theybetookthemselvestoflight，butnottillapistolwasdischarged。Whetheritwasaimedattheladyinthecarriage，oratthecoachman，Iwasnotpermittedtodiscover，forthereportaffrightedthehorses，andtheysetoffatfullspeed。
　　Icouldnothopetoovertakethem:Iknewnotwhithertherobbershadfled，andwhether，byproceeding，ImightnotfallintotheirhandsTheseconsiderationsinducedmetoresumemyfeet，andretirefromthesceneasexpeditiouslyaspossible。I
　　regainedmyownhabitationwithoutinjury。
　　IhavesaidthatIoccupiedseparateapartmentsfromthoseofLudloe。Tothesethereweremeansofaccesswithoutdisturbingthefamily。Ihastedtomychamber，butwasconsiderablysurprizedtofind，onenteringmyapartment，Ludloeseatedatatable，withalampbeforehim。
　　Mymomentaryconfusionwasgreaterthanhis。Ondiscoveringwhoitwas，heassumedhisaccustomedlooks，andexplainedappearances，bysaying，thathewishedtoconversewithmeonasubjectofimportance，andhadthereforesoughtmeatthissecrethour，inmyownchamber。Contrarytohisexpectation，Iwasabsent。ConceivingitpossiblethatImightshortlyreturn，hehadwaitedtillnow。Hetooknofurthernoticeofmyabsence，normanifestedanydesiretoknowthecauseofit，butproceededtomentionthesubjectwhichhadbroughthimhither。Thesewerehiswords。
　　Youhavenothingwhichthelawspermityoutocallyourown。
　　Justiceentitlesyoutothesupplyofyourphysicalwants，fromthosewhoareabletosupplythem；buttherearefewwhowillacknowledgeyourclaim，orspareanatomoftheirsuperfluitytoappeaseyourcravings。Thatwhichtheywillnotspontaneouslygive，itisnotrighttowrestfromthembyviolence。Whatthenistobedone？
　　Propertyisnecessarytoyourownsubsistence。Itisuseful，byenablingyoutosupplythewantsofothers。Togivefood，andclothing，andshelter，istogivelife，toannihilatetemptation，tounshacklevirtue，andpropagatefelicity。Howshallpropertybegained？
　　Youmaysetyourunderstandingoryourhandsatwork。Youmayweavestockings，orwritepoems，andexchangethemformoney；butthesearetardyandmeagreschemes。Themeansaredisproportionedtotheend，andIwillnotsufferyoutopursuethem。Myjusticewillsupplyyourwants。
　　Butdependanceonthejusticeofothersisaprecariouscondition。Tobetheobjectisalessennoblingstatethantobethebestowerofbenefit。Doubtlessyoudesiretobevestedwithcompetenceandriches，andtoholdthembyvirtueofthelaw，andnotatthewillofabenefactor。Hepausedasifwaitingformyassenttohispositions。Ireadilyexpressedmyconcurrence，andmydesiretopursueanymeanscompatiblewithhonesty。Heresumed。
　　Therearevariousmeans，besideslabour，violence，orfraud。
　　Itisrighttoselecttheeasiestwithinyourreach。Ithappensthattheeasiestisathand。Arevenueofsomethousandsayear，astatelymansioninthecity，andanotherinKildare，oldandfaithfuldomestics，andmagnificentfurniture，aregoodthings。
　　Willyouhavethem？
　　Agiftlikethat，repliedI，willbeattendedbymomentousconditions。Icannotdecideuponitsvalue，untilIknowtheseconditions。
　　Thesoleconditionisyourconsenttoreceivethem。Noteventheairyobligationofgratitudewillbecreatedbyacceptance。Onthecontrary，byacceptingthem，youwillconferthehighestbenefituponanother。
　　Idonotcomprehendyou。Somethingsurelymustbegiveninreturn。
　　Nothing。Itmayseemstrangethat，inacceptingtheabsolutecontroulofsomuchproperty，yousubjectyourselftonoconditions；thatnoclaimsofgratitudeorservicewillaccrue；butthewonderisgreaterstill。Thelawequitablyenoughfettersthegiftwithnorestraints，withrespecttoyouthatreceiveit；butnotsowithregardtotheunhappybeingwhobestowsit。Thatbeingmustpart，notonlywithpropertybutliberty。Inacceptingtheproperty，youmustconsenttoenjoytheservicesofthepresentpossessor。Theycannotbedisjoined。
　　Ofthetruenatureandextentofthegift，youshouldbefullyapprized。Beaware，therefore，that，togetherwiththisproperty，youwillreceiveabsolutepoweroverthelibertyandpersonofthebeingwhonowpossessesit。Thatbeingmustbecomeyourdomesticslave；begoverned，ineveryparticular，byyourcaprice。
　　Happilyforyou，thoughfullyinvestedwiththispower，thedegreeandmodeinwhichitwillbeexercisedwilldependuponyourselfYoumayeithertotallyforbeartheexercise，oremployitonlyforthebenefitofyourslave。Howeverinjurious，therefore，thisauthoritymaybetothesubjectofit，itwill，insomesense，onlyenhancethevalueofthegifttoyou。
　　Theattachmentandobedienceofthisbeingwillbechieflyevidentinonething。Itsdutywillconsistinconforming，ineveryinstance，toyourwill。Allthepowersofthisbeingaretobedevotedtoyourhappiness；butthereisonerelationbetweenyou，whichenablesyoutoconfer，whileexacting，pleasure……Thisrelationis~~sexual~~。Yourslaveisawoman；andthebond，whichtransfersherpropertyandpersontoyou，is……~~marriage~~。
　　MyknowledgeofLudloe，hisprinciples，andreasonings，oughttohaveprecludedthatsurprisewhichIexperiencedattheconclusionofhisdiscourse。Iknewthatheregardedthepresentinstitutionofmarriageasacontractofservitude，andthetermsofitunequalandunjust。Whenmysurprisehadsubsided，mythoughtsturneduponthenatureofhisscheme。Afterapauseofreflection，Ianswered:
　　Bothlawandcustomhaveconnectedobligationswithmarriage，which，thoughheaviestonthefemale，arenotlightuponthemale。
　　Theirweightandextentarenotimmutableanduniform；theyaremodifiedbyvariousincidents，andespeciallybythementalandpersonalqualitiesofthelady。
　　IamnotsurethatIshouldwillinglyacceptthepropertyandpersonofawomandecrepidwithage，andenslavedbyperversehabitsandevilpassions:whereasyouth，beauty，andtendernesswouldbeworthaccepting，evenfortheirownsake，anddisconnectedwithfortune。
　　Astoaltarvows，Ibelievetheywillnotmakemeswervefromequity。Ishallexactneitherservicenoraffectionfrommyspouse。Thevalueofthese，and，indeed，notonlythevalue，buttheveryexistence，ofthelatterdependsuponitsspontaneity。A
　　promisetolovetendsrathertoloosenthanstrengthenthetie。
　　Astomyself，theageofillusionispast。Ishallnotwed，tillIfindonewhosemoralandphysicalconstitutionwillmakepersonalfidelityeasy。Ishalljudgewithoutmistinessorpassion，andhabitwillcomeinaidofanenlightenedanddeliberatechoice。
　　Ishallnotbefastidiousinmychoice。Idonotexpect，andscarcelydesire，muchintellectualsimilitudebetweenmeandmywife。Ouropinionsandpursuitscannotbeincommon。Whilewomenareformedbytheireducation，andtheireducationcontinuesinitspresentstate，tenderheartsandmisguidedunderstandingsareallthatwecanhopetomeetwith。
　　Whatarethecharacter，age，andpersonofthewomantowhomyouallude？andwhatprospectofsuccesswouldattendmyexertionstoobtainherfavour？
　　Ihavetoldyousheisrich。Sheisawidow，andowesherrichestotheliberalityofherhusband，whowasatraderofgreatopulence，andwhodiedwhileonamercantileadventuretoSpain。
　　Hewasnotunknowntoyou。YourlettersfromSpainoftenspokeofhim。Inshort，sheisthewidowofBenington，whomyoumetatBarcelona。Sheisstillintheprimeoflife；isnotwithoutmanyfeminineattractions；hasanardentandcredulenttemper；andisparticularlygiventodevotion。Thistemperitwouldbeeasytoregulateaccordingtoyourpleasureandyourinterest，andInowsubmittoyoutheexpediencyofanalliancewithher。
　　Iamakinsman，andregardedbyherwithuncommondeference；
　　andmycommendations，therefore，willbeofgreatservicetoyou，andshallbegiven。
　　Iwilldealingenuouslywithyou。Itisproperyoushouldbefullyacquaintedwiththegroundsofthisproposal。Thebenefitsofrank，andproperty，andindependence，whichIhavealreadymentionedaslikelytoaccruetoyoufromthismarriage，aresolidandvaluablebenefits；butthesearenotthesoleadvantages，andtobenefityou，intheserespects，isnotmywholeview。
　　No。Mytreatmentofyouhenceforthwillberegulatedbyoneprinciple。Iregardyouonlyasoneundergoingaprobationorapprenticeship；assubjectedtotrialsofyoursincerityandfortitude。ThemarriageInowproposetoyouisdesirable，becauseitwillmakeyouindependentofme。Yourpovertymightcreateanunsuitablebiasinfavourofproposals，oneofwhoseeffectswouldbetosetyoubeyondfortune'sreach。Thatbiaswillcease，whenyouceasetobepooranddependent。
　　Loveisthestrongestofallhumandelusions。Thatfortitude，whichisnotsubduedbythetendernessandblandishmentsofwoman，maybetrusted；butnofortitude，whichhasnotundergonethattest，willbetrustedbyus。
　　Thiswomanisacharmingenthusiast。Shewillnevermarrybuthimwhomshepassionatelyloves。Herpowerovertheheartthatlovesherwillscarcelyhavelimits。Themeansofpryingintoyourtransactions，ofsuspectingandsiftingyourthoughts，whichherconstantsocietywithyou，whilesleepingandwaking，herzealandwatchfulnessforyourwelfare，andhercuriosity，adroitness，andpenetrationwillaffordher，areevident。Yourdanger，therefore，willbeimminent。Yourfortitudewillbeobligedtohaverecourse，nottoflight，buttovigilance。Youreyemustneverclose。
　　Alas！whathumanmagnanimitycanstandthistest！HowcanI
　　persuademyselfthatyouwillnotfail？Iwaverbetweenhopeandfear。Many，itistrue，havefallen，anddraggedwiththemtheauthoroftheirruin，butsomehavesoaredaboveeventheseperilsandtemptations，withtheirfieryenergiesunimpaired，andgreathasbeen，asgreatoughttobe，theirrecompence。
　　Butyouaredoubtlessawareofyourdanger。Ineednotrepeattheconsequencesofbetrayingyourtrust，therigourofthosewhowillJudgeyourfault，theunerringandunboundedscrutinytowhichyouractions，themostsecretandindifferent，willbesubjected。
　　Yourconduct，however，willbevoluntary。Atyourownoptionbeit，toseeornottoseethiswoman。Circumspection，deliberationforethought，areyoursacreddutiesandhighestinterest。
　　ChapterVIII。
　　Ludloe'sremarksontheseductiveandbewitchingpowersofwomen，onthedifficultyofkeepingasecretwhichtheywishtoknow，andtogainwhichtheyemploythesoftartilleryoftearsandprayers，andblandishmentsandmenaces，arefamiliartoallmen，buttheyhadlittleweightwithme，becausetheywereunsupportedbymyownexperience。Ihadneverhadanyintellectualorsentimentalconnectionwiththesex。Mymeditationsandpursuitshadallledadifferentway，andabiashadgraduallybeengiventomyfeelings，veryunfavourabletotherefinementsoflove。I
　　acknowledge，withshameandregret，thatIwasaccustomedtoregardthephysicalandsensualconsequencesofthesexualrelationasrealities，andeverythingintellectual，disinterested，andheroic，whichenthusiastsconnectwithitasidledreams。Besides，saidI，Iamyetastrangertothesecret，onthepreservationofwhichsomuchstressislaid，anditwillbeoptionalwithmetoreceiveitornot。If，intheprogressofmyacquaintancewithMrs。
　　Benington，Ishouldperceiveanyextraordinarydangerinthegift，cannotIrefuse，oratleastdelaytocomplywithanynewconditionsfromLudloe？Willnothiscandourandhisaffectionformerathercommendthandisapprovemydiffidence？Infine，I
　　resolvedtoseethislady。