amusedherwiththedetailsofthefestiveday，thesplendoursofthebridalpartyandofthebrideherself，sheoftensighedandshookherhead，andwishedgoodmightcomeofit；sheseemed，likeme，toregarditratherasathemeforsorrowthanrejoicing。
　　I
　　satalongtimetalkingtoheraboutthatandotherthings-butnoonecame。
　　ShallIconfessthatIsometimeslookedtowardsthedoorwithahalf-expectantwishtoseeitopenandgiveentrancetoMr。Weston，ashadhappenedoncebefore？andthat，returningthroughthelanesandfields，Ioftenpausedtolookroundme，andwalkedmoreslowlythanwasatallnecessary-for，thoughafineevening，itwasnotahotone-and，finally，feltasenseofemptinessanddisappointmentathavingreachedthehousewithoutmeetingorevencatchingadistantglimpseofanyone，exceptafewlabourersreturningfromtheirwork？
　　Sunday，however，wasapproaching:Ishouldseehimthen:
　　fornowthatMissMurraywasgone，Icouldhavemyoldcorneragain。I
　　shouldseehim，andbylook，speech，andmanner，Imightjudgewhetherthecircumstanceofhermarriagehadverymuchafflictedhim。HappilyIcouldperceivenoshadowofadifference:
　　heworethesameaspectashehadworntwomonthsago-voice，look，manner，allalikeunchanged:therewasthesamekeen-sighted，uncloudedtruthfulnessinhisdiscourse，thesameforcibleclearnessinhisstyle，thesameearnestsimplicityinallhesaidanddid，thatmadeitself，notmarkedbytheeyeandear，butfeltupontheheartsofhisaudience。
　　IwalkedhomewithMissMatilda；butHEDIDNOTJOINUS。Matildawasnowsadlyatalossforamusement，andwofullyinwantofacompanion:herbrothersatschool，hersistermarriedandgone，shetooyoungtobeadmittedintosociety；forwhich，fromRosalie'sexample，shewasinsomedegreebeginningtoacquireataste-atasteatleastforthecompanyofcertainclassesofgentlemen；atthisdulltimeofyear-nohuntinggoingon，noshootingeven-for，thoughshemightnotjoininthat，itwasSOMETHINGtoseeherfatherorthegamekeepergooutwiththedogs，andtotalkwiththemontheirreturn，aboutthedifferentbirdstheyhadbagged。Now，also，shewasdeniedthesolacewhichthecompanionshipofthecoachman，grooms，horses，greyhounds，andpointersmighthaveafforded；forhermotherhaving，notwithstandingthedisadvantagesofacountrylife，sosatisfactorilydisposedofherelderdaughter，theprideofherhearthadbegunseriouslytoturnherattentiontotheyounger；
　　and，beingtrulyalarmedattheroughnessofhermanners，andthinkingithightimetoworkareform，hadbeenrousedatlengthtoexertherauthority，andprohibitedentirelytheyards，stables，kennels，andcoachhouse。Ofcourse，shewasnotimplicitlyobeyed；
　　but，indulgentasshehadhithertobeen，whenonceherspiritwasroused，hertemperwasnotsogentleassherequiredthatofhergovernessestobe，andherwillwasnottobethwartedwithimpunity。Aftermanyasceneofcontentionbetweenmotheranddaughter，manyaviolentoutbreakwhichIwasashamedtowitness，inwhichthefather'sauthoritywasoftencalledintoconfirmwithoathsandthreatsthemother'sslightedprohibitions-forevenHE
　　couldseethat'Tilly，thoughshewouldhavemadeafinelad，wasnotquitewhatayoungladyoughttobe'-Matildaatlengthfoundthathereasiestplanwastokeepclearoftheforbiddenregions；
　　unlessshecouldnowandthenstealavisitwithoutherwatchfulmother'sknowledge。
　　Amidallthis，letitnotbeimaginedthatIescapedwithoutmanyareprimand，andmanyanimpliedreproach，thatlostnoneofitsstingfromnotbeingopenlyworded；butratherwoundedthemoredeeply，because，fromthatveryreason，itseemedtoprecludeself-
　　defence。Frequently，IwastoldtoamuseMissMatildawithotherthings，andtoremindherofhermother'spreceptsandprohibitions。Ididsotothebestofmypower:butshewouldnotbeamusedagainstherwill，andcouldnotagainsthertaste；andthoughIwentbeyondmerereminding，suchgentleremonstrancesasI
　　couldusewereutterlyineffectual。
　　'DEARMissGrey!itistheSTRANGESTthing。Isupposeyoucan'thelpit，ifit'snotinyournature-butIWONDERyoucan'twintheconfidenceofthatgirl，andmakeyoursocietyatLEASTasagreeabletoherasthatofRobertorJoseph!'
　　'Theycantalkthebestaboutthethingsinwhichsheismostinterested，'Ireplied。
　　'Well!thatisastrangeconfession，HOWEVER，tocomefromherGOVERNESS!Whoistoformayounglady'stastes，Iwonder，ifthegovernessdoesn'tdoit？Ihaveknowngovernesseswhohavesocompletelyidentifiedthemselveswiththereputationoftheiryoungladiesforeleganceandproprietyinmindandmanners，thattheywouldblushtospeakawordagainstthem；andtoheartheslightestblameimputedtotheirpupilswasworsethantobecensuredintheirownpersons-andIreallythinkitverynatural，formypart。'
　　'Doyou，ma'am？'
　　'Yes，ofcourse:theyounglady'sproficiencyandeleganceisofmoreconsequencetothegovernessthanherown，aswellastotheworld。Ifshewishestoprosperinhervocationshemustdevoteallherenergiestoherbusiness:allherideasandallherambitionwilltendtotheaccomplishmentofthatoneobject。Whenwewishtodecideuponthemeritsofagoverness，wenaturallylookattheyoungladiessheprofessestohaveeducated，andjudgeaccordingly。TheJUDICIOUSgovernessknowsthis:sheknowsthat，whileshelivesinobscurityherself，herpupils'virtuesanddefectswillbeopentoeveryeye；andthat，unlessshelosessightofherselfintheircultivation，sheneednothopeforsuccess。
　　Yousee，MissGrey，itisjustthesameasanyothertradeorprofession:theythatwishtoprospermustdevotethemselvesbodyandsoultotheircalling；andiftheybegintoyieldtoindolenceorself-indulgencetheyarespeedilydistancedbywisercompetitors:thereislittletochoosebetweenapersonthatruinsherpupilsbyneglect，andonethatcorruptsthembyherexample。
　　Youwillexcusemydroppingtheselittlehints:youknowitisallforyourowngood。Manyladieswouldspeaktoyoumuchmorestrongly；andmanywouldnottroublethemselvestospeakatall，butquietlylookoutforasubstitute。That，ofcourse，wouldbetheEASIESTplan:butIknowtheadvantagesofaplacelikethistoapersoninyoursituation；andIhavenodesiretopartwithyou，asIamsureyouwoulddoverywellifyouwillonlythinkofthesethingsandtrytoexertyourselfaLITTLEmore:then，I
　　amconvinced，youwouldSOONacquirethatdelicatetactwhichaloneiswantingtogiveyouaproperinfluenceoverthemindofyourpupil。'
　　Iwasabouttogivetheladysomeideaofthefallacyofherexpectations；butshesailedawayassoonasshehadconcludedherspeech。Havingsaidwhatshewished，itwasnopartofherplantoawaitmyanswer:itwasmybusinesstohear，andnottospeak。
　　However，asIhavesaid，Matildaatlengthyieldedinsomedegreetohermother'sauthoritypityithadnotbeenexertedbefore；
　　andbeingthusdeprivedofalmosteverysourceofamusement，therewasnothingforitbuttotakelongrideswiththegroomandlongwalkswiththegoverness，andtovisitthecottagesandfarmhousesonherfather'sestate，tokilltimeinchattingwiththeoldmenandwomenthatinhabitedthem。Inoneofthesewalks，itwasourchancetomeetMr。Weston。ThiswaswhatIhadlongdesired；butnow，foramoment，IwishedeitherheorIwereaway:IfeltmyheartthrobsoviolentlythatIdreadedlestsomeoutwardsignsofemotionshouldappear；butIthinkhehardlyglancedatme，andI
　　wassooncalmenough。Afterabriefsalutationtoboth，heaskedMatildaifshehadlatelyheardfromhersister。
　　'Yes，'repliedshe。'ShewasatPariswhenshewrote，andverywell，andveryhappy。'
　　Shespokethelastwordemphatically，andwithaglanceimpertinentlysly。Hedidnotseemtonoticeit，butreplied，withequalemphasis，andveryseriously-
　　'Ihopeshewillcontinuetobeso。'
　　'Doyouthinkitlikely？'Iventuredtoinquire:forMatildahadstartedoffinpursuitofherdog，thatwaschasingaleveret。
　　'Icannottell，'repliedhe。'SirThomasmaybeabettermanthanIsuppose；but，fromallIhaveheardandseen，itseemsapitythatonesoyoungandgay，and-andinteresting，toexpressmanythingsbyoneword-whosegreatest，ifnotheronlyfault，appearstobethoughtlessness-notriflingfaulttobesure，sinceitrendersthepossessorliabletoalmosteveryother，andexposeshimtosomanytemptations-butitseemsapitythatsheshouldbethrownawayonsuchaman。Itwashermother'swish，Isuppose？'
　　'Yes；andherowntoo，Ithink，forshealwayslaughedatmyattemptstodissuadeherfromthestep。'
　　'Youdidattemptit？Then，atleast，youwillhavethesatisfactionofknowingthatitisnofaultofyours，ifanyharmshouldcomeofit。AsforMrs。Murray，Idon'tknowhowshecanjustifyherconduct:ifIhadsufficientacquaintancewithher，I'daskher。'
　　'Itseemsunnatural:butsomepeoplethinkrankandwealththechiefgood；and，iftheycansecurethatfortheirchildren，theythinktheyhavedonetheirduty。'
　　'True:butisitnotstrangethatpersonsofexperience，whohavebeenmarriedthemselves，shouldjudgesofalsely？'Matildanowcamepantingback，withthelaceratedbodyoftheyounghareinherhand。
　　'Wasityourintentiontokillthathare，ortosaveit，MissMurray？'askedMr。Weston，apparentlypuzzledathergleefulcountenance。
　　'Ipretendedtowanttosaveit，'sheanswered，honestlyenough，'asitwassoglaringlyoutofseason；butIwasbetterpleasedtoseeitlolled。However，youcanbothwitnessthatIcouldn'thelpit:Princewasdeterminedtohaveher；andheclutchedherbytheback，andkilledherinaminute!Wasn'titanoblechase？'
　　'Very!forayoungladyafteraleveret。'
　　Therewasaquietsarcasminthetoneofhisreplywhichwasnotlostuponher；sheshruggedhershoulders，and，turningawaywithasignificant'Humph!'askedmehowIhadenjoyedthefun。IrepliedthatIsawnofuninthematter；butadmittedthatIhadnotobservedthetransactionverynarrowly。
　　'Didn'tyouseehowitdoubled-justlikeanoldhare？anddidn'tyouhearitscream？'
　　'I'mhappytosayIdidnot。'
　　'Itcriedoutjustlikeachild。'
　　'Poorlittlething!Whatwillyoudowithit？'
　　'Comealong-Ishallleaveitinthefirsthousewecometo。
　　I
　　don'twanttotakeithome，forfearpapashouldscoldmeforlettingthedogkillit。'
　　Mr。Westonwasnowgone，andwetoowentonourway；butaswereturned，afterhavingdepositedthehareinafarm-house，anddemolishedsomespice-cakeandcurrant-wineinexchange，wemethimreturningalsofromtheexecutionofhismission，whateveritmightbe。Hecarriedinhishandaclusterofbeautifulbluebells，whichheofferedtome；observing，withasmile，thatthoughhehadseensolittleofmeforthelasttwomonths，hehadnotforgottenthatblue-bellswerenumberedamongmyfavouriteflowers。Itwasdoneasasimpleactofgoodwill，withoutcomplimentorremarkablecourtesy，oranylookthatcouldbeconstruedinto'reverential，tenderadoration'VIDERosalieMurray；butstill，itwassomethingtofindmyunimportantsayingsowellremembered:itwassomethingthathehadnoticedsoaccuratelythetimeIhadceasedtobevisible。
　　'Iwastold，'saidhe，'thatyouwereaperfectbookworm，MissGrey:socompletelyabsorbedinyourstudiesthatyouwerelosttoeveryotherpleasure。'
　　'Yes，andit'squitetrue!'criedMatilda。
　　'No，Mr。Weston:don'tbelieveit:it'sascandalouslibel。
　　Theseyoungladiesaretoofondofmakingrandomassertionsattheexpenseoftheirfriends；andyououghttobecarefulhowyoulistentothem。'
　　'IhopeTHISassertionisgroundless，atanyrate。'
　　'Why？Doyouparticularlyobjecttoladiesstudying？'
　　'No；butIobjecttoanyonesodevotinghimselforherselftostudy，astolosesightofeverythingelse。Exceptunderpeculiarcircumstances，Iconsiderverycloseandconstantstudyasawasteoftime，andaninjurytothemindaswellasthebody。'
　　'Well，Ihaveneitherthetimenortheinclinationforsuchtransgressions。'
　　Wepartedagain。
　　Well!whatisthereremarkableinallthis？WhyhaveIrecordedit？Because，reader，itwasimportantenoughtogivemeacheerfulevening，anightofpleasingdreams，andamorningoffelicitoushopes。Shallow-brainedcheerfulness，foolishdreams，unfoundedhopes，youwouldsay；andIwillnotventuretodenyit:
　　suspicionstothateffectarosetoofrequentlyinmyownmind。
　　Butourwishesareliketinder:theflintandsteelofcircumstancesarecontinuallystrikingoutsparks，whichvanishimmediately，unlesstheychancetofalluponthetinderofourwishes；then，theyinstantlyignite，andtheflameofhopeiskindledinamoment。
　　Butalas!thatverymorning，myflickeringflameofhopewasdismallyquenchedbyaletterfrommymother，whichspokesoseriouslyofmyfather'sincreasingillness，thatIfearedtherewaslittleornochanceofhisrecovery；and，closeathandastheholidayswere，Ialmosttrembledlesttheyshouldcometoolateformetomeethiminthisworld。Twodaysafter，aletterfromMarytoldmehislifewasdespairedof，andhisendseemedfastapproaching。Then，immediately，Isoughtpermissiontoanticipatethevacation，andgowithoutdelay。Mrs。Murraystared，andwonderedattheunwontedenergyandboldnesswithwhichIurgedtherequest，andthoughttherewasnooccasiontohurry；butfinallygavemeleave:stating，however，thattherewas'noneedtobeinsuchagitationaboutthematter-itmightproveafalsealarmafterall；andifnot-why，itwasonlyinthecommoncourseofnature:wemustalldiesometime；andIwasnottosupposemyselftheonlyafflictedpersonintheworld；'andconcludingwithsayingImighthavethephaetontotakemetoO。'AndinsteadofREPINING，MissGrey，bethankfulforthePRIVILEGESyouenjoy。
　　There'smanyapoorclergymanwhosefamilywouldbeplungedintoruinbytheeventofhisdeath；butyou，yousee，haveinfluentialfriendsreadytocontinuetheirpatronage，andtoshowyoueveryconsideration。'
　　Ithankedherforher'consideration，'andflewtomyroomtomakesomehurriedpreparationsformydeparture。Mybonnetandshawlbeingon，andafewthingshastilycrammedintomylargesttrunk，I
　　descended。ButImighthavedonetheworkmoreleisurely，fornooneelsewasinahurry；andIhadstillaconsiderabletimetowaitforthephaeton。Atlengthitcametothedoor，andIwasoff:but，oh，whatadrearyjourneywasthat!howutterlydifferentfrommyformerpassageshomewards!Beingtoolateforthelastcoachto-，Ihadtohireacabfortenmiles，andthenacartotakemeovertheruggedhills。
　　Itwashalf-pasttenbeforeIreachedhome。Theywerenotinbed。
　　Mymotherandsisterbothmetmeinthepassage-sad-silent-
　　pale!Iwassomuchshockedandterror-strickenthatIcouldnotspeak，toasktheinformationIsomuchlongedyetdreadedtoobtain。
　　'Agnes!'saidmymother，strugglingtorepresssomestrongemotion。
　　'Oh，Agnes!'criedMary，andburstintotears。
　　'Howishe？'Iasked，gaspingfortheanswer。
　　'Dead!'
　　ItwasthereplyIhadanticipated:buttheshockseemednonethelesstremendous。
　　chapter19
　　CHAPTERXIX-THELETTER
　　MYfather'smortalremainshadbeenconsignedtothetomb；andwe，withsadfacesandsombregarments，satlingeringoverthefrugalbreakfast-table，revolvingplansforourfuturelife。Mymother'sstrongmindhadnotgivenwaybeneatheventhisaffliction:herspirit，thoughcrushed，wasnotbroken。Mary'swishwasthatI
　　shouldgobacktoHortonLodge，andthatourmothershouldcomeandlivewithherandMr。Richardsonatthevicarage:sheaffirmedthathewisheditnolessthanherself，andthatsuchanarrangementcouldnotfailtobenefitallparties；formymother'ssocietyandexperiencewouldbeofinestimablevaluetothem，andtheywoulddoalltheycouldtomakeherhappy。Butnoargumentsorentreatiescouldprevail:mymotherwasdeterminednottogo。
　　Notthatshequestioned，foramoment，thekindwishesandintentionsofherdaughter；butsheaffirmedthatsolongasGodsparedherhealthandstrength，shewouldmakeuseofthemtoearnherownlivelihood，andbechargeabletonoone；whetherherdependencewouldbefeltasaburdenornot。Ifshecouldaffordtoresideasalodgerin-vicarage，shewouldchoosethathousebeforeallothersastheplaceofherabode；butnotbeingsocircumstanced，shewouldnevercomeunderitsroof，exceptasanoccasionalvisitor:unlesssicknessorcalamityshouldrenderherassistancereallyneedful，oruntilageorinfirmitymadeherincapableofmaintainingherself。
　　'No，Mary，'saidshe，'ifRichardsonandyouhaveanythingtospare，youmustlayitasideforyourfamily；andAgnesandImustgatherhoneyforourselves。Thankstomyhavinghaddaughterstoeducate，Ihavenotforgottenmyaccomplishments。Godwilling，I
　　willcheckthisvainrepining，'shesaid，whilethetearscoursedoneanotherdownhercheeksinspiteofherefforts；butshewipedthemaway，andresolutelyshakingbackherhead，continued，'Iwillexertmyself，andlookoutforasmallhouse，commodiouslysituatedinsomepopulousbuthealthydistrict，wherewewilltakeafewyoungladiestoboardandeducate-ifwecangetthem-andasmanydaypupilsaswillcome，oraswecanmanagetoinstruct。
　　Yourfather'srelationsandoldfriendswillbeabletosendussomepupils，ortoassistuswiththeirrecommendations，nodoubt:
　　Ishallnotapplytomyown。Whatsayyoutoit，Agnes？willyoubewillingtoleaveyourpresentsituationandtry？'
　　'Quitewilling，mamma；andthemoneyIhavesavedwilldotofurnishthehouse。Itshallbetakenfromthebankdirectly。'
　　'Whenitiswanted:wemustgetthehouse，andsettleonpreliminariesfirst。'
　　Maryofferedtolendthelittleshepossessed；butmymotherdeclinedit，sayingthatwemustbeginonaneconomicalplan；andshehopedthatthewholeorpartofmine，addedtowhatwecouldgetbythesaleofthefurniture，andwhatlittleourdearpapahadcontrivedtolayasideforhersincethedebtswerepaid，wouldbesufficienttolastustillChristmas；when，itwashoped，somethingwouldaccruefromourunitedlabours。Itwasfinallysettledthatthisshouldbeourplan；andthatinquiriesandpreparationsshouldimmediatelybesetonfoot；andwhilemymotherbusiedherselfwiththese，IshouldreturntoHortonLodgeatthecloseofmyfourweeks'vacation，andgivenoticeformyfinaldeparturewhenthingswereintrainforthespeedycommencementofourschool。
　　WewerediscussingtheseaffairsonthemorningIhavementioned，aboutafortnightaftermyfather'sdeath，whenaletterwasbroughtinformymother，onbeholdingwhichthecolourmountedtoherface-latelypaleenoughwithanxiouswatchingsandexcessivesorrow。'Frommyfather!'murmuredshe，asshehastilytoreoffthecover。Itwasmanyyearssinceshehadheardfromanyofherownrelationsbefore。Naturallywonderingwhatthelettermightcontain，Iwatchedhercountenancewhileshereadit，andwassomewhatsurprisedtoseeherbiteherlipandknitherbrowsasifinanger。Whenshehaddone，shesomewhatirreverentlycastitonthetable，sayingwithascornfulsmile，-'Yourgrandpapahasbeensokindastowritetome。HesayshehasnodoubtIhavelongrepentedofmy"unfortunatemarriage，"andifIwillonlyacknowledgethis，andconfessIwaswronginneglectinghisadvice，andthatIhavejustlysufferedforit，hewillmakealadyofmeonceagain-ifthatbepossibleaftermylongdegradation-andremembermygirlsinhiswill。Getmydesk，Agnes，andsendthesethingsaway:Iwillanswertheletterdirectly。Butfirst，asI
　　maybedeprivingyoubothofalegacy，itisjustthatIshouldtellyouwhatImeantosay。IshallsaythatheismistakeninsupposingthatIcanregretthebirthofmydaughterswhohavebeentheprideofmylife，andarelikelytobethecomfortofmyoldage，orthethirtyyearsIhavepassedinthecompanyofmybestanddearestfriend；-that，hadourmisfortunesbeenthreetimesasgreatastheywereunlesstheyhadbeenofmybringingon，Ishouldstillthemorerejoicetohavesharedthemwithyourfather，andadministeredwhatconsolationIwasable；and，hadhissufferingsinillnessbeententimeswhattheywore，Icouldnotregrethavingwatchedoverandlabouredtorelievethem；-that，ifhehadmarriedaricherwife，misfortunesandtrialswouldnodoubthavecomeuponhimstill；whileIamegotistenoughtoimaginethatnootherwomancouldhavecheeredhimthroughthemsowell:notthatIamsuperiortotherest，butIwasmadeforhim，andheforme；andIcannomorerepentthehours，days，yearsofhappinesswehavespenttogether，andwhichneithercouldhavehadwithouttheother，thanIcantheprivilegeofhavingbeenhisnurseinsickness，andhiscomfortinaffliction。
　　'Willthisdo，children？-orshallIsayweareallverysorryforwhathashappenedduringthelastthirtyyears，andmydaughterswishtheyhadneverbeenborn；butsincetheyhavehadthatmisfortune，theywillbethankfulforanytrifletheirgrandpapawillbekindenoughtobestow？'
　　Ofcourse，webothapplaudedourmother'sresolution；Maryclearedawaythebreakfastthings；Ibroughtthedesk；theletterwasquicklywrittenanddespatched；and，fromthatday，weheardnomoreofourgrandfather，tillwesawhisdeathannouncedinthenewspaperaconsiderabletimeafter-allhisworldlypossessions，ofcourse，beinglefttoourwealthyunknowncousins。
　　chapter20
　　CHAPTERXX-THEFAREWELL
　　AHOUSEinA-，thefashionablewatering-place，washiredforourseminary；andapromiseoftwoorthreepupilswasobtainedtocommencewith。IreturnedtoHortonLodgeaboutthemiddleofJuly，leavingmymothertoconcludethebargainforthehouse，toobtainmorepupils，toselloffthefurnitureofouroldabode，andtofitoutthenewone。
　　Weoftenpitythepoor，becausetheyhavenoleisuretomourntheirdepartedrelatives，andnecessityobligesthemtolabourthroughtheirseverestafflictions:butisnotactiveemploymentthebestremedyforoverwhelmingsorrow-thesurestantidotefordespair？
　　Itmaybearoughcomforter:itmayseemhardtobeharassedwiththecaresoflifewhenwehavenorelishforitsenjoyments；tobegoadedtolabourwhentheheartisreadytobreak，andthevexedspiritimploresforrestonlytoweepinsilence:butisnotlabourbetterthantherestwecovet？andarenotthosepetty，tormentingcareslesshurtfulthanacontinualbroodingoverthegreatafflictionthatoppressesus？Besides，wecannothavecares，andanxieties，andtoil，withouthope-ifitbebutthehopeoffulfillingourjoylesstask，accomplishingsomeneedfulproject，orescapingsomefurtherannoyance。Atanyrate，Iwasgladmymotherhadsomuchemploymentforeveryfacultyofheraction-lovingframe。Ourkindneighbourslamentedthatshe，oncesoexaltedinwealthandstation，shouldbereducedtosuchextremityinhertimeofsorrow；butIampersuadedthatshewouldhavesufferedthriceasmuchhadshebeenleftinaffluence，withlibertytoremaininthathouse，thesceneofherearlyhappinessandlateaffliction，andnosternnecessitytopreventherfromincessantlybroodingoverandlamentingherbereavement。
　　IwillnotdilateuponthefeelingswithwhichIlefttheoldhouse，thewell-knowngarden，thelittlevillagechurch-thendoublydeartome，becausemyfather，who，forthirtyyears，hadtaughtandprayedwithinitswalls，layslumberingnowbeneathitsflags-andtheoldbarehills，delightfulintheirverydesolation，withthenarrowvalesbetween，smilingingreenwoodandsparklingwater-thehousewhereIwasborn，thesceneofallmyearlyassociations，theplacewherethroughoutlifemyearthlyaffectionshadbeencentred；-andleftthemtoreturnnomore!
　　True，IwasgoingbacktoHortonLodge，where，amidmanyevils，onesourceofpleasureyetremained:butitwaspleasuremingledwithexcessivepain；andmystay，alas!waslimitedtosixweeks。Andevenofthatprecioustime，dayafterdayslippedbyandIdidnotseehim:exceptatchurch，Ineversawhimforafortnightaftermyreturn。Itseemedalongtimetome:and，asIwasoftenoutwithmyramblingpupil，ofcoursehopeswouldkeeprising，anddisappointmentswouldensue；andthen，Iwouldsaytomyownheart，'Hereisaconvincingproof-ifyouwouldbuthavethesensetoseeit，orthecandourtoacknowledgeit-thathedoesnotcareforyou。IfheonlythoughtHALFasmuchaboutyouasyoudoabouthim，hewouldhavecontrivedtomeetyoumanytimeserethis:
　　youmustknowthat，byconsultingyourownfeelings。Therefore，havedonewiththisnonsense:youhavenogroundforhope:dismiss，atonce，thesehurtfulthoughtsandfoolishwishesfromyourmind，andturntoyourownduty，andthedullblanklifethatliesbeforeyou。Youmighthaveknownsuchhappinesswasnotforyou。'
　　ButIsawhimatlast。HecamesuddenlyuponmeasIwascrossingafieldinreturningfromavisittoNancyBrown，whichIhadtakentheopportunityofpayingwhileMatildaMurraywasridinghermatchlessmare。HemusthaveheardoftheheavylossIhadsustained:heexpressednosympathy，offerednocondolence:
　　butalmostthefirstwordsheutteredwere，-'Howisyourmother？'
　　Andthiswasnomatter-of-coursequestion，forInevertoldhimthatIhadamother:hemusthavelearnedthefactfromothers，ifheknewitatall；and，besides，therewassinceregoodwill，andevendeep，touching，unobtrusivesympathyinthetoneandmanneroftheinquiry。Ithankedhimwithduecivility，andtoldhimshewasaswellascouldbeexpected。'Whatwillshedo？'wasthenextquestion。Manywouldhavedeemeditanimpertinentone，andgivenanevasivereply；butsuchanideaneverenteredmyhead，andI
　　gaveabriefbutplainstatementofmymother'splansandprospects。
　　'Thenyouwillleavethisplaceshortly？'saidhe。
　　'Yes，inamonth。'
　　Hepausedaminute，asifinthought。Whenhespokeagain，Ihopeditwouldbetoexpresshisconcernatmydeparture；butitwasonlytosay，-'Ishouldthinkyouwillbewillingenoughtogo？'
　　'Yes-forsomethings，'Ireplied。