'ForSOMEthingsonly-Iwonderwhatshouldmakeyouregretit？'
　　Iwasannoyedatthisinsomedegree；becauseitembarrassedme:
　　I
　　hadonlyonereasonforregrettingit；andthatwasaprofoundsecret，whichhehadnobusinesstotroublemeabout。
　　'Why，'saidI-'whyshouldyousupposethatIdisliketheplace？'
　　'Youtoldmesoyourself，'wasthedecisivereply。'Yousaid，atleast，thatyoucouldnotlivecontentedly，withoutafriend；andthatyouhadnofriendhere，andnopossibilityofmakingone-
　　and，besides，IknowyouMUSTdislikeit。'
　　'Butifyourememberrightly，Isaid，ormeanttosay，Icouldnotlivecontentedlywithoutafriendintheworld:Iwasnotsounreasonableastorequireonealwaysnearme。IthinkIcouldbehappyinahousefullofenemies，if-'butno；thatsentencemustnotbecontinued-Ipaused，andhastilyadded，-'And，besides，wecannotwellleaveaplacewherewehavelivedfortwoorthreeyears，withoutsomefeelingofregret。'
　　'WillyouregrettopartwithMissMurray，yoursoleremainingpupilandcompanion？'
　　'IdaresayIshallinsomedegree:itwasnotwithoutsorrowI
　　partedwithhersister。'
　　'Icanimaginethat。'
　　'Well，MissMatildaisquiteasgood-betterinonerespect。'
　　'Whatisthat？'
　　'She'shonest。'
　　'Andtheotherisnot？'
　　'IshouldnotcallherDIShonest；butitmustbeconfessedshe'salittleartful。'
　　'ARTFULisshe？-Isawshewasgiddyandvain-andnow，'headded，afterapause，'Icanwellbelieveshewasartfultoo；butsoexcessivelysoastoassumeanaspectofextremesimplicityandunguardedopenness。Yes，'continuedhe，musingly，'thataccountsforsomelittlethingsthatpuzzledmeatriflebefore。'
　　Afterthat，heturnedtheconversationtomoregeneralsubjects。
　　Hedidnotleavemetillwehadnearlyreachedthepark-gates:
　　hehadcertainlysteppedalittleoutofhiswaytoaccompanymesofar，forhenowwentbackanddisappeareddownMossLane，theentranceofwhichwehadpassedsometimebefore。AssuredlyI
　　didnotregretthiscircumstance:ifsorrowhadanyplaceinmyheart，itwasthathewasgoneatlast-thathewasnolongerwalkingbymyside，andthatthatshortintervalofdelightfulintercoursewasatanend。Hehadnotbreathedawordoflove，ordroppedonehintoftendernessoraffection，andyetIhadbeensupremelyhappy。
　　Tobenearhim，tohearhimtalkashedidtalk，andtofeelthathethoughtmeworthytobesospokento-capableofunderstandinganddulyappreciatingsuchdiscourse-wasenough。
　　'Yes，EdwardWeston，Icouldindeedbehappyinahousefullofenemies，ifIhadbutonefriend，whotruly，deeply，andfaithfullylovedme；andifthatfriendwereyou-thoughwemightbefarapart-seldomtohearfromeachother，stillmoreseldomtomeet-
　　thoughtoil，andtrouble，andvexationmightsurroundme，still-
　　itwouldbetoomuchhappinessformetodreamof!Yetwhocantell，'saidIwithinmyself，asIproceededupthepark，-'whocantellwhatthisonemonthmaybringforth？Ihavelivednearlythree-and-twentyyears，andIhavesufferedmuch，andtastedlittlepleasureyet；isitlikelymylifeallthroughwillbesoclouded？
　　IsitnotpossiblethatGodmayhearmyprayers，dispersethesegloomyshadows，andgrantmesomebeamsofheaven'ssunshineyet？
　　WillHeentirelydenytomethoseblessingswhicharesofreelygiventoothers，whoneitheraskthemnoracknowledgethemwhenreceived？MayInotstillhopeandtrust？Ididhopeandtrustforawhile:but，alas，alas!thetimeebbedaway:oneweekfollowedanother，and，exceptingonedistantglimpseandtwotransientmeetings-duringwhichscarcelyanythingwassaid-
　　whileIwaswalkingwithMissMatilda，Isawnothingofhim:
　　except，ofcourse，atchurch。
　　Andnow，thelastSundaywascome，andthelastservice。Iwasoftenonthepointofmeltingintotearsduringthesermon-thelastIwastohearfromhim:thebestIshouldhearfromanyone，I
　　waswellassured。Itwasover-thecongregationweredeparting；
　　andImustfollow。Ihadthenseenhim，andheardhisvoice，too，probablyforthelasttime。Inthechurchyard，MatildawaspounceduponbythetwoMissesGreen。Theyhadmanyinquiriestomakeabouthersister，andIknownotwhatbesides。Ionlywishedtheywouldhavedone，thatwemighthastenbacktoHortonLodge:I
　　longedtoseektheretirementofmyownroom，orsomesequesterednookinthegrounds，thatImightdelivermyselfuptomyfeelings-toweepmylastfarewell，andlamentmyfalsehopesandvaindelusions。Onlythisonce，andthenadieutofruitlessdreaming-
　　thenceforth，onlysober，solid，sadrealityshouldoccupymymind。
　　ButwhileIthusresolved，alowvoiceclosebesidemesaid-'I
　　supposeyouaregoingthisweek，MissGrey？''Yes，'Ireplied。
　　I
　　wasverymuchstartled；andhadIbeenatallhystericallyinclined，Icertainlyshouldhavecommittedmyselfinsomewaythen。ThankGod，Iwasnot。
　　'Well，'saidMr。Weston，'Iwanttobidyougood-bye-itisnotlikelyIshallseeyouagainbeforeyougo。'
　　'Good-bye，Mr。Weston，'Isaid。Oh，howIstruggledtosayitcalmly!Igavehimmyhand。Heretaineditafewsecondsinhis。
　　'Itispossiblewemaymeetagain，'saidhe；'willitbeofanyconsequencetoyouwhetherwedoornot？'
　　'Yes，Ishouldbeverygladtoseeyouagain。'
　　ICOULDsaynoless。Hekindlypressedmyhand，andwent。
　　Now，I
　　washappyagain-thoughmoreinclinedtoburstintotearsthanever。IfIhadbeenforcedtospeakatthatmoment，asuccessionofsobswouldhaveinevitablyensued；andasitwas，Icouldnotkeepthewateroutofmyeyes。IwalkedalongwithMissMurray，turningasidemyface，andneglectingtonoticeseveralsuccessiveremarks，tillshebawledoutthatIwaseitherdeaforstupid；andthenhavingrecoveredmyself-possession，asoneawakenedfromafitofabstraction，Isuddenlylookedupandaskedwhatshehadbeensaying。
　　chapter21
　　CHAPTERXXI-THESCHOOL
　　ILEFTHortonLodge，andwenttojoinmymotherinournewabodeatA。Ifoundherwellinhealth，resignedinspirit，andevencheerful，thoughsubduedandsober，inhergeneraldemeanour。
　　Wehadonlythreeboardersandhalfadozenday-pupilstocommencewith；butbyduecareanddiligencewehopederelongtoincreasethenumberofboth。
　　Isetmyselfwithbefittingenergytodischargethedutiesofthisnewmodeoflife。IcallitNEW，fortherewas，indeed，aconsiderabledifferencebetweenworkingwithmymotherinaschoolofourown，andworkingasahirelingamongstrangers，despisedandtrampleduponbyoldandyoung；andforthefirstfewweeksIwasbynomeansunhappy。'Itispossiblewemaymeetagain，'and'willitbeofanyconsequencetoyouwhetherwedoornot？'-Thosewordsstillranginmyearandrestedonmyheart:theyweremysecretsolaceandsupport。'Ishallseehimagain-Hewillcome；
　　orhewillwrite。'Nopromise，infact，wastoobrightortooextravagantforHopetowhisperinmyear。Ididnotbelievehalfofwhatshetoldme:Ipretendedtolaughatitall；butIwasfarmorecredulousthanImyselfsupposed；otherwise，whydidmyheartleapupwhenaknockwasheardatthefrontdoor，andthemaid，whoopenedit，cametotellmymotheragentlemanwishedtoseeher？
　　andwhywasIoutofhumourfortherestoftheday，becauseitprovedtobeamusic-mastercometoofferhisservicestoourschool？andwhatstoppedmybreathforamoment，whenthepostmanhavingbroughtacoupleofletters，mymothersaid，'Here，Agnes，thisisforyou，'andthrewoneofthemtome？andwhatmadethehotbloodrushintomyfacewhenIsawitwasdirectedinagentleman'shand？andwhy-oh!whydidthatcold，sickeningsenseofdisappointmentfalluponme，whenIhadtornopenthecoverandfounditwasONLYaletterfromMary，which，forsomereasonorother，herhusbandhaddirectedforher？
　　Wasitthencometothis-thatIshouldbeDISAPPOINTEDtoreceivealetterfrommyonlysister:andbecauseitwasnotwrittenbyacomparativestranger？DearMary!andshehadwrittenitsokindly-andthinkingIshouldbesopleasedtohaveit!-Iwasnotworthytoreadit!AndIbelieve，inmyindignationagainstmyself，IshouldhaveputitasidetillIhadschooledmyselfintoabetterframeofmind，andwasbecomemoredeservingofthehonourandprivilegeofitsperusal:buttherewasmymotherlookingon，andwishfultoknowwhatnewsitcontained；soIreaditanddeliveredittoher，andthenwentintotheschoolroomtoattendtothepupils:butamidstthecaresofcopiesandsums-intheintervalsofcorrectingerrorshere，andreprovingderelictionsofdutythere，Iwasinwardlytakingmyselftotaskwithfarsternerseverity。'Whatafoolyoumustbe，'saidmyheadtomyheart，ormysternertomysofterself；-'howcouldyoueverdreamthathewouldwritetoyou？Whatgroundshaveyouforsuchahope-orthathewillseeyou，orgivehimselfanytroubleaboutyou-oreventhinkofyouagain？''Whatgrounds？'-andthenHopesetbeforemethatlast，shortinterview，andrepeatedthewordsIhadsofaithfullytreasuredinmymemory。'Well，andwhatwasthereinthat？-Whoeverhunghishopesuponsofrailatwig？Whatwasthereinthosewordsthatanycommonacquaintancemightnotsaytoanother？Ofcourse，itwaspossibleyoumightmeetagain:
　　hemighthavesaidsoifyouhadbeengoingtoNewZealand；butthatdidnotimplyanyINTENTIONofseeingyou-andthen，astothequestionthatfollowed，anyonemightaskthat:andhowdidyouanswer？-Merelywithastupid，commonplacereply，suchasyouwouldhavegiventoMasterMurray，oranyoneelseyouhadbeenontolerablyciviltermswith。''But，then，'persistedHope，'thetoneandmannerinwhichhespoke。''Oh，thatisnonsense!healwaysspeaksimpressively；andatthatmomentthereweretheGreensandMissMatildaMurrayjustbefore，andotherpeoplepassingby，andhewasobligedtostandclosebesideyou，andtospeakverylow，unlesshewishedeverybodytohearwhathesaid，which-thoughitwasnothingatallparticular-ofcourse，hewouldrathernot。'Butthen，aboveall，thatemphatic，yetgentlepressureofthehand，whichseemedtosay，'TRUSTme；'andmanyotherthingsbesides-toodelightful，almosttooflattering，toberepeatedeventoone'sself。'Egregiousfolly-tooabsurdtorequirecontradiction-mereinventionsoftheimagination，whichyououghttobeashamedof。Ifyouwouldbutconsideryourownunattractiveexterior，yourunamiablereserve，yourfoolishdiffidence-whichmustmakeyouappearcold，dull，awkward，andperhapsill-temperedtoo；-ifyouhadbutrightlyconsideredthesefromthebeginning，youwouldneverhaveharbouredsuchpresumptuousthoughts:andnowthatyouhavebeensofoolish，prayrepentandamend，andletushavenomoreofit!'
　　IcannotsaythatIimplicitlyobeyedmyowninjunctions:butsuchreasoningasthisbecamemoreandmoreeffectiveastimeworeon，andnothingwasseenorheardofMr。Weston；until，atlast，Igaveuphoping，forevenmyheartacknowledgeditwasallinvain。
　　Butstill，Iwouldthinkofhim:Iwouldcherishhisimageinmymind；
　　andtreasureeveryword，look，andgesturethatmymemorycouldretain；andbroodoverhisexcellencesandhispeculiarities，and，infact，allIhadseen，heard，orimaginedrespectinghim。
　　'Agnes，thisseaairandchangeofscenedoyounogood，Ithink:
　　Ineversawyoulooksowretched。Itmustbethatyousittoomuch，andallowthecaresoftheschoolroomtoworryyou。Youmustlearntotakethingseasy，andtobemoreactiveandcheerful；youmusttakeexercisewheneveryoucangetit，andleavethemosttiresomedutiestome:theywillonlyservetoexercisemypatience，and，perhaps，trymytemperalittle。'
　　Sosaidmymother，aswesatatworkonemorningduringtheEasterholidays。Iassuredherthatmyemploymentswerenotatalloppressive；thatIwaswell；or，iftherewasanythingamiss，itwouldbegoneassoonasthetryingmonthsofspringwereover:
　　whensummercameIshouldbeasstrongandheartyasshecouldwishtoseeme:butinwardlyherobservationstartledme。Iknewmystrengthwasdeclining，myappetitehadfailed，andIwasgrownlistlessanddesponding；-andif，indeed，hecouldnevercareforme，andIcouldneverseehimmore-ifIwasforbiddentoministertohishappiness-forbidden，forever，totastethejoysoflove，tobless，andtobeblessed-then，lifemustbeaburden，andifmyheavenlyFatherwouldcallmeaway，Ishouldbegladtorest。
　　Butitwouldnotdotodieandleavemymother。Selfish，unworthydaughter，toforgetherforamoment!Wasnotherhappinesscommittedinagreatmeasuretomycharge？-andthewelfareofouryoungpupilstoo？ShouldIshrinkfromtheworkthatGodhadsetbeforeme，becauseitwasnotfittedtomytaste？DidnotHeknowbestwhatIshoulddo，andwhereIoughttolabour？-andshouldI
　　longtoquitHisservicebeforeIhadfinishedmytask，andexpecttoenterintoHisrestwithouthavinglabouredtoearnit？'No；
　　byHishelpIwillariseandaddressmyselfdiligentlytomyappointedduty。Ifhappinessinthisworldisnotforme，Iwillendeavourtopromotethewelfareofthosearoundme，andmyrewardshallbehereafter。'SosaidIinmyheart；andfromthathourIonlypermittedmythoughtstowandertoEdwardWeston-oratleasttodwelluponhimnowandthen-asatreatforrareoccasions:and，whetheritwasreallytheapproachofsummerortheeffectofthesegoodresolutions，orthelapseoftime，oralltogether，tranquillityofmindwassoonrestored；andbodilyhealthandvigourbeganlikewise，slowly，butsurely，toreturn。
　　EarlyinJune，IreceivedaletterfromLadyAshby，lateMissMurray。Shehadwrittentometwiceorthricebefore，fromthedifferentstagesofherbridaltour，alwaysingoodspirits，andprofessingtobeveryhappy。Iwonderedeverytimethatshehadnotforgottenme，inthemidstofsomuchgaietyandvarietyofscene。Atlength，however，therewasapause；anditseemedshehadforgottenme，forupwardsofsevenmonthspassedawayandnoletter。Ofcourse，IdidnotbreakmyheartaboutTHAT，thoughI
　　oftenwonderedhowshewasgettingon；andwhenthislastepistlesounexpectedlyarrived，Iwasgladenoughtoreceiveit。ItwasdatedfromAshbyPark，whereshewascometosettledownatlast，havingpreviouslydividedhertimebetweenthecontinentandthemetropolis。Shemademanyapologiesforhavingneglectedmesolong，assuredmeshehadnotforgottenme，andhadoftenintendedtowrite，&；c。&；c。，buthadalwaysbeenpreventedbysomething。
　　Sheacknowledgedthatshehadbeenleadingaverydissipatedlife，andIshouldthinkherverywickedandverythoughtless；but，notwithstandingthat，shethoughtagreatdeal，and，amongotherthings，thatsheshouldvastlyliketoseeme。'Wehavebeenseveraldaysherealready，'wroteshe。'Wehavenotasinglefriendwithus，andarelikelytobeverydull。YouknowIneverhadafancyforlivingwithmyhusbandliketwoturtlesinanest，werehethemostdelightfulcreaturethateverworeacoat；sodotakepityuponmeandcome。IsupposeyourMidsummerholidayscommenceinJune，thesameasotherpeople's；thereforeyoucannotpleadwantoftime；andyoumustandshallcome-infact，Ishalldieifyoudon't。Iwantyoutovisitmeasafriend，andstayalongtime。Thereisnobodywithme，asItoldyoubefore，butSirThomasandoldLadyAshby:butyouneedn'tmindthem-they'lltroubleusbutlittlewiththeircompany。Andyoushallhavearoomtoyourself，wheneveryouliketoretiretoit，andplentyofbookstoreadwhenmycompanyisnotsufficientlyamusing。I
　　forgetwhetheryoulikebabies；ifyoudo，youmayhavethepleasureofseeingmine-themostcharmingchildintheworld，nodoubt；andallthemoreso，thatIamnottroubledwithnursingit-IwasdeterminedIwouldn'tbebotheredwiththat。
　　Unfortunately，itisagirl，andSirThomashasneverforgivenme:
　　but，however，ifyouwillonlycome，Ipromiseyoushallbeitsgovernessassoonasitcanspeak；andyoushallbringitupinthewayitshouldgo，andmakeabetterwomanofitthanitsmamma。
　　Andyoushallseemypoodle，too:asplendidlittlecharmerimportedfromParis:andtwofineItalianpaintingsofgreatvalue-Iforgettheartist。Doubtlessyouwillbeabletodiscoverprodigiousbeautiesinthem，whichyoumustpointouttome，asI
　　onlyadmirebyhearsay；andmanyelegantcuriositiesbesides，whichIpurchasedatRomeandelsewhere；and，finally，youshallseemynewhome-thesplendidhouseandgroundsIusedtocovetsogreatly。Alas!howfarthepromiseofanticipationexceedsthepleasureofpossession!There'safinesentiment!IassureyouI
　　ambecomequiteagraveoldmatron:praycome，ifitbeonlytowitnessthewonderfulchange。Writebyreturnofpost，andtellmewhenyourvacationcommences，andsaythatyouwillcomethedayafter，andstaytillthedaybeforeitcloses-inmercyto'Yoursaffectionately，'ROSALIEASHBY。'
　　Ishowedthisstrangeepistletomymother，andconsultedheronwhatIoughttodo。Sheadvisedmetogo；andIwent-willingenoughtoseeLadyAshby，andherbaby，too，andtodoanythingI
　　couldtobenefither，byconsolationoradvice；forIimaginedshemustbeunhappy，orshewouldnothaveappliedtomethus-butfeeling，asmayreadilybeconceived，that，inacceptingtheinvitation，Imadeagreatsacrificeforher，anddidviolencetomyfeelingsinmanyways，insteadofbeingdelightedwiththehonourabledistinctionofbeingentreatedbythebaronet'sladytovisitherasafriend。However，Ideterminedmyvisitshouldbeonlyforafewdaysatmost；andIwillnotdenythatIderivedsomeconsolationfromtheideathat，asAshbyParkwasnotveryfarfromHorton，ImightpossiblyseeMr。Weston，or，atleast，hearsomethingabouthim。
　　chapter22
　　CHAPTERXXII-THEVISIT
　　ASHBYPARKwascertainlyaverydelightfulresidence。Themansionwasstatelywithout，commodiousandelegantwithin；theparkwasspaciousandbeautiful，chieflyonaccountofitsmagnificentoldtrees，itsstatelyherdsofdeer，itsbroadsheetofwater，andtheancientwoodsthatstretchedbeyondit:fortherewasnobrokengroundtogivevarietytothelandscape，andbutverylittleofthatundulatingswellwhichaddssogreatlytothecharmofparkscenery。Andso，thiswastheplaceRosalieMurrayhadsolongedtocallherown，thatshemusthaveashareofit，onwhatevertermsitmightbeoffered-whateverpricewastobepaidforthetitleofmistress，andwhoeverwastobeherpartnerinthehonourandblissofsuchapossession!WellIamnotdisposedtocensurehernow。
　　Shereceivedmeverykindly；and，thoughIwasapoorclergyman'sdaughter，agoverness，andaschoolmistress，shewelcomedmewithunaffectedpleasuretoherhome；and-whatsurprisedmerather-
　　tooksomepainstomakemyvisitagreeable。Icouldsee，itistrue，thatsheexpectedmetobegreatlystruckwiththemagnificencethatsurroundedher；and，Iconfess，Iwasratherannoyedatherevidenteffortstoreassureme，andpreventmefrombeingoverwhelmedbysomuchgrandeur-toomuchawedattheideaofencounteringherhusbandandmother-in-law，ortoomuchashamedofmyownhumbleappearance。Iwasnotashamedofitatall；for，thoughplain，Ihadtakengoodcarenottoshabbyormean，andshouldhavebeenprettyconsiderablyatmyease，ifmycondescendinghostesshadnottakensuchmanifestpainstomakemeso；and，asforthemagnificencethatsurroundedher，nothingthatmetmyeyesstruckmeoraffectedmehalfsomuchasherownalteredappearance。Whetherfromtheinfluenceoffashionabledissipation，orsomeotherevil，aspaceoflittlemorethantwelvemonthshadhadtheeffectthatmightbeexpectedfromasmanyyears，inreducingtheplumpnessofherform，thefreshnessofhercomplexion，thevivacityofhermovements，andtheexuberanceofherspirits。
　　Iwishedtoknowifshewasunhappy；butIfeltitwasnotmyprovincetoinquire:Imightendeavourtowinherconfidence；
　　but，ifshechosetoconcealhermatrimonialcaresfromme，Iwouldtroubleherwithnoobtrusivequestions。I，therefore，atfirst，confinedmyselftoafewgeneralinquiriesaboutherhealthandwelfare，andafewcommendationsonthebeautyofthepark，andofthelittlegirlthatshouldhavebeenaboy:asmalldelicateinfantofsevenoreightweeksold，whomitsmotherseemedtoregardwithnoremarkabledegreeofinterestoraffection，thoughfullasmuchasIexpectedhertoshow。
　　Shortlyaftermyarrival，shecommissionedhermaidtoconductmetomyroomandseethatIhadeverythingIwanted；itwasasmall，unpretending，butsufficientlycomfortableapartment。WhenI
　　descendedthence-havingdivestedmyselfofalltravellingencumbrances，andarrangedmytoiletwithdueconsiderationforthefeelingsofmyladyhostess，sheconductedmeherselftotheroomI
　　wastooccupywhenIchosetobealone，orwhenshewasengagedwithvisitors，orobligedtobewithhermother-in-law，orotherwiseprevented，asshesaid，fromenjoyingthepleasureofmysociety。Itwasaquiet，tidylittlesitting-room；andIwasnotsorrytobeprovidedwithsuchaharbourofrefuge。
　　'Andsometime，'saidshe，'Iwillshowyouthelibrary:Ineverexamineditsshelves，but，Idaresay，itisfullofwisebooks；andyoumaygoandburrowamongthemwheneveryouplease。Andnowyoushallhavesometea-itwillsoonbedinner-time，butIthought，asyouwereaccustomedtodineatone，youwouldperhapslikebettertohaveacupofteaaboutthistime，andtodinewhenwelunch:andthen，youknow，youcanhaveyourteainthisroom，andthatwillsaveyoufromhavingtodinewithLadyAshbyandSirThomas:whichwouldberatherawkward-atleast，notawkward，butrather-a-youknowwhatImean。Ithoughtyoumightn'tlikeitsowell-especiallyaswemayhaveotherladiesandgentlementodinewithusoccasionally。'
　　'Certainly，'saidI，'Iwouldmuchratherhaveitasyousay，and，ifyouhavenoobjection，Ishouldpreferhavingallmymealsinthisroom。'
　　'Whyso？'
　　'Because，Iimagine，itwouldbemoreagreeabletoLadyAshbyandSirThomas。'
　　'Nothingofthekind。'
　　'Atanyrateitwouldbemoreagreeabletome。'
　　Shemadesomefaintobjections，butsoonconceded；andIcouldseethattheproposalwasaconsiderablerelieftoher。
　　'Now，comeintothedrawing-room，'saidshe。'There'sthedressingbell；butIwon'tgoyet:it'snousedressingwhenthere'snoonetoseeyou；andIwanttohavealittlediscourse。'
　　Thedrawing-roomwascertainlyanimposingapartment，andveryelegantlyfurnished；butIsawitsyoungmistressglancetowardsmeasweentered，asiftonoticehowIwasimpressedbythespectacle，andaccordinglyIdeterminedtopreserveanaspectofstonyindifference，asifIsawnothingatallremarkable。Butthiswasonlyforamoment:immediatelyconsciencewhispered，'WhyshouldIdisappointhertosavemypride？No-ratherletmesacrificemypridetogiveheralittleinnocentgratification。'
　　AndIhonestlylookedround，andtoldheritwasanobleroom，andverytastefullyfurnished。Shesaidlittle，butIsawshewaspleased。
　　SheshowedmeherfatFrenchpoodle，thatlaycurleduponasilkcushion，andthetwofineItalianpaintings:which，however，shewouldnotgivemetimetoexamine，but，sayingImustlookatthemsomeotherday，insisteduponmyadmiringthelittlejewelledwatchshehadpurchasedinGeneva；andthenshetookmeroundtheroomtopointoutsundryarticlesofVERTUshehadbroughtfromItaly:
　　anelegantlittletimepiece，andseveralbusts，smallgracefulfigures，andvases，allbeautifullycarvedinwhitemarble。Shespokeofthesewithanimation，andheardmyadmiringcommentswithasmileofpleasure:thatsoon，however，vanished，andwasfollowedbyamelancholysigh；asifinconsiderationoftheinsufficiencyofallsuchbaublestothehappinessofthehumanheart，andtheirwoefulinabilitytosupplyitsinsatiatedemands。
　　Then，stretchingherselfuponacouch，shemotionedmetoacapaciouseasy-chairthatstoodopposite-notbeforethefire，butbeforeawideopenwindow；foritwassummer，beitremembered；asweet，warmeveninginthelatterhalfofJune。Isatforamomentinsilence，enjoyingthestill，pureair，andthedelightfulprospectoftheparkthatlaybeforeme，richinverdureandfoliage，andbaskinginyellowsunshine，relievedbythelongshadowsofdecliningday。ButImusttakeadvantageofthispause:
　　Ihadinquiriestomake，and，likethesubstanceofalady'spostscript，themostimportantmustcomelast。SoIbeganwithaskingafterMr。andMrs。Murray，andMissMatildaandtheyounggentlemen。
　　Iwastoldthatpapahadthegout，whichmadehimveryferocious；
　　andthathewouldnotgiveuphischoicewines，andhissubstantialdinnersandsuppers，andhadquarrelledwithhisphysician，becausethelatterhaddaredtosaythatnomedicinecouldcurehimwhilehelivedsofreely；thatmammaandtherestwerewell。Matildawasstillwildandreckless，butshehadgotafashionablegoverness，andwasconsiderablyimprovedinhermanners，andsoontobeintroducedtotheworld；andJohnandCharlesnowathomefortheholidayswere，byallaccounts，'fine，bold，unruly，mischievousboys。'
　　'Andhowaretheotherpeoplegettingon？'saidI-'theGreens，forinstance？'
　　'Ah!Mr。Greenisheart-broken，youknow，'repliedshe，withalanguidsmile:'hehasn'tgotoverhisdisappointmentyet，andneverwill，Isuppose。He'sdoomedtobeanoldbachelor；andhissistersaredoingtheirbesttogetmarried。'
　　'AndtheMelthams？'
　　'Oh，they'rejoggingonasusual，Isuppose:butIknowverylittleaboutanyofthem-exceptHarry，'saidshe，blushingslightly，andsmilingagain。'IsawagreatdealofhimwhilewewereinLondon；for，assoonasheheardwewerethere，hecameupunderpretenceofvisitinghisbrother，andeitherfollowedme，likeashadow，whereverIwent，ormetme，likeareflection，ateveryturn。Youneedn'tlooksoshocked，MissGrey；Iwasverydiscreet，Iassureyou，but，youknow，onecan'thelpbeingadmired。Poorfellow!Hewasnotmyonlyworshipper；thoughhewascertainlythemostconspicuous，and，Ithink，themostdevotedamongthemall。Andthatdetestable-ahem-andSirThomaschosetotakeoffenceathim-ormyprofuseexpenditure，orsomething-
　　Idon'texactlyknowwhat-andhurriedmedowntothecountryatamoment'snotice；whereI'mtoplaythehermit，Isuppose，forlife。'
　　Andshebitherlip，andfrownedvindictivelyuponthefairdomainshehadoncesocovetedtocallherown。
　　'AndMr。Hatfield，'saidI，'whatisbecomeofhim？'
　　Againshebrightenedup，andansweredgaily-'Oh!hemadeuptoanelderlyspinster，andmarriedher，notlongsince；weighingherheavypurseagainstherfadedcharms，andexpectingtofindthatsolaceingoldwhichwasdeniedhiminlove-ha，ha!'
　　'Well，andIthinkthat'sall-exceptMr。Weston:whatishedoing？'
　　'Idon'tknow，I'msure。He'sgonefromHorton。'
　　'Howlongsince？andwhereishegoneto？'
　　'Iknownothingabouthim，'repliedshe，yawning-'exceptthathewentaboutamonthago-Ineveraskedwhere'Iwouldhaveaskedwhetheritwastoalivingormerelyanothercuracy，butthoughtitbetternot；'andthepeoplemadeagreatroutabouthisleaving，'
　　continuedshe，'muchtoMr。Hatfield'sdispleasure；forHatfielddidn'tlikehim，becausehehadtoomuchinfluencewiththecommonpeople，andbecausehewasnotsufficientlytractableandsubmissivetohim-andforsomeotherunpardonablesins，Idon'tknowwhat。ButnowIpositivelymustgoanddress:thesecondbellwillringdirectly，andifIcometodinnerinthisguise，I
　　shallneverheartheendofitfromLadyAshby。It'sastrangethingonecan'tbemistressinone'sownhouse!Justringthebell，andI'llsendformymaid，andtellthemtogetyousometea。
　　Onlythinkofthatintolerablewoman-'
　　'Who-yourmaid？'
　　'No；-mymother-in-law-andmyunfortunatemistake!Insteadoflettinghertakeherselfofftosomeotherhouse，assheofferedtodowhenImarried，Iwasfoolenoughtoaskhertoliveherestill，anddirecttheaffairsofthehouseforme；because，inthefirstplace，Ihopedweshouldspendthegreaterpartoftheyear，intown，andinthesecondplace，beingsoyoungandinexperienced，I
　　wasfrightenedattheideaofhavingahousefulofservantstomanage，anddinnerstoorder，andpartiestoentertain，andalltherestofit，andIthoughtshemightassistmewithherexperience；
　　neverdreamingshewouldproveausurper，atyrant，anincubus，aspy，andeverythingelsethat'sdetestable。Iwishshewasdead!'
　　Shethenturnedtogiveherorderstothefootman，whohadbeenstandingboltuprightwithinthedoorforthelasthalfminute，andhadheardthelatterpartofheranimadversions；and，ofcourse，madehisownreflectionsuponthem，notwithstandingtheinflexible，woodencountenancehethoughtpropertopreserveinthedrawing-
　　room。Onmyremarkingafterwardsthathemusthaveheardher，shereplied-'Oh，nomatter!Inevercareaboutthefootmen；they'remereautomatons:it'snothingtothemwhattheirsuperiorssayordo；theywon'tdaretorepeatit；andastowhattheythink-iftheypresumetothinkatall-ofcourse，nobodycaresforthat。
　　Itwouldbeaprettythingindeed，itweweretobetongue-tiedbyourservants!'
　　Sosaying，sheranofftomakeherhastytoilet，leavingmetopilotmywaybacktomysitting-room，where，induetime，Iwasservedwithacupoftea。Afterthat，IsatmusingonLadyAshby'spastandpresentcondition；andonwhatlittleinformationIhadobtainedrespectingMr。Weston，andthesmallchancetherewasofeverseeingorhearinganythingmoreofhimthroughoutmyquiet，drab-colourlife:which，henceforth，seemedtooffernoalternativebetweenpositiverainydays，anddaysofdullgreycloudswithoutdownfall。Atlength，however，Ibegantowearyofmythoughts，andtowishIknewwheretofindthelibrarymyhostesshadspokenof；andtowonderwhetherIwastoremaintheredoingnothingtillbedtime。
　　AsIwasnotrichenoughtopossessawatch，Icouldnottellhowtimewaspassing，exceptbyobservingtheslowlylengtheningshadowsfromthewindow；whichpresentedasideview，includingacornerofthepark，aclumpoftreeswhosetopmostbrancheshadbeencolonizedbyaninnumerablecompanyofnoisyrooks，andahighwallwithamassivewoodengate:nodoubtcommunicatingwiththestable-yard，asabroadcarriage-roadsweptuptoitfromthepark。
　　TheshadowofthiswallsoontookposessionofthewholeofthegroundasfarasIcouldsee，forcingthegoldensunlighttoretreatinchbyinch，andatlasttakerefugeintheverytopsofthetrees。Erelong，eventheywereleftinshadow-theshadowofthedistanthills，oroftheearthitself；and，insympathyforthebusycitizensoftherookery，Iregrettedtoseetheirhabitation，solatelybathedingloriouslight，reducedtothesombre，work-a-
　　dayhueofthelowerworld，orofmyownworldwithin。Foramoment，suchbirdsassoaredabovetherestmightstillreceivethelustreontheirwings，whichimpartedtotheirsableplumagethehueandbrillianceofdeepredgold；atlast，thattoodeparted。
　　Twilightcamestealingon；therooksbecamemorequiet；Ibecamemoreweary，andwishedIweregoinghometo-morrow。Atlengthitgrewdark；andIwasthinkingofringingforacandle，andbetakingmyselftobed，whenmyhostessappeared，withmanyapologiesforhavingneglectedmesolong，andlayingalltheblameuponthat'nastyoldwoman，'asshecalledhermother-in-law。
　　'IfIdidn'tsitwithherinthedrawing-roomwhileSirThomasistakinghiswine，'saidshe，'shewouldneverforgiveme；andthen，ifIleavetheroomtheinstanthecomes-asIhavedoneonceortwice-itisanunpardonableoffenceagainstherdearThomas。
　　SHE
　　nevershowedsuchdisrespecttoHERhusband:andasforaffection，wivesneverthinkofthatnow-a-days，shesupposes:butthingsweredifferentinHERtime-asiftherewasanygoodtobedonebystayingintheroom，whenhedoesnothingbutgrumbleandscoldwhenhe'sinabadhumour，talkdisgustingnonsensewhenhe'sinagoodone，andgotosleeponthesofawhenhe'stoostupidforeither；whichismostfrequentlythecasenow，whenhehasnothingtodobuttosotoverhiswine。'
　　'Butcouldyounottrytooccupyhismindwithsomethingbetter；
　　andengagehimtogiveupsuchhabits？I'msureyouhavepowersofpersuasion，andqualificationsforamusingagentleman，whichmanyladieswouldbegladtopossess。'
　　'AndsoyouthinkIwouldlaymyselfoutforhisamusement!No:
　　that'snotMYideaofawife。It'sthehusband'sparttopleasethewife，notherstopleasehim；andifheisn'tsatisfiedwithherassheis-andthankfultopossesshertoo-heisn'tworthyofher，that'sall。Andasforpersuasion，IassureyouIshan'ttroublemyselfwiththat:I'veenoughtodotobearwithhimasheis，withoutattemptingtoworkareform。ButI'msorryIleftyousolongalone，MissGrey。Howhaveyoupassedthetime？'
　　'Chieflyinwatchingtherooks。'
　　'Mercy，howdullyoumusthavebeen!Ireallymustshowyouthelibrary；andyoumustringforeverythingyouwant，justasyouwouldinaninn，andmakeyourselfcomfortable。Ihaveselfishreasonsforwishingtomakeyouhappy，becauseIwantyoutostaywithme，andnotfulfilyourhorridthreatofrunningawayinadayortwo。'
　　'Well，don'tletmekeepyououtofthedrawing-roomanylongerto-
　　night，foratpresentIamtiredandwishtogotobed。'
　　chapter23
　　CHAPTERXXIII-THEPARK
　　ICAMEdownalittlebeforeeight，nextmorning，asIknewbythestrikingofadistantclock。Therewasnoappearanceofbreakfast。
　　Iwaitedaboveanhourbeforeitcame，stillvainlylongingforaccesstothelibrary；and，afterthatlonelyrepastwasconcluded，Iwaitedagainaboutanhourandahalfingreatsuspenseanddiscomfort，uncertainwhattodo。AtlengthLadyAshbycametobidmegood-morning。Sheinformedmeshehadonlyjustbreakfasted，andnowwantedmetotakeanearlywalkwithherinthepark。
　　SheaskedhowlongIhadbeenup，andonreceivingmyanswer，expressedthedeepestregret，andagainpromisedtoshowmethelibrary。