Thatwasamistakeoflargedimensions。TheOldMasterswerestillunpleasingtome，buttheyweretrulydivinecontrastedwiththecopies。Thecopyistotheoriginalasthepallid，smart，inanenewwax-workgroupistothevigorous，earnest，dignifiedgroupoflivingmenandwomenwhomitprofessestoduplicate。Thereisamellowrichness，asubduedcolor，intheoldpictures，whichistotheeyewhatmuffledandmellowedsoundistotheear。Thatisthemeritwhichismostloudlypraisedintheoldpicture，andistheonewhichthecopymostconspicuouslylacks，andwhichthecopyistmustnothopetocompass。ItwasgenerallyconcededbytheartistswithwhomItalked，thatthatsubduedsplendor，thatmellowrichness，isimpartedtothepicturebyAGE。
　　ThenwhyshouldweworshiptheOldMasterforit，whodidn'timpartit，insteadofworshipingOldTime，whodid?Perhapsthepicturewasaclangingbell，untilTimemuffleditandsweetenedit。
　　InconversationwithanartistinVenice，Iasked:"WhatisitthatpeopleseeintheOldMasters?IhavebeenintheDoge'spalaceandIsawseveralacresofverybaddrawing，verybadperspective，andveryincorrectproportions。
　　PaulVeronese'sdogstonotresembledogs；allthehorseslooklikebladdersonlegs；onemanhadaRIGHTlegontheleftsideofhisbody；inthelargepicturewheretheEmperorBarbarossa?isprostratebeforethePope，therearethreemenintheforegroundwhoareoverthirtyfeethigh，ifonemayjudgebythesizeofakneelinglittleboyinthecenteroftheforeground；
　　andaccordingtothesamescale，thePopeissevenfeethighandtheDogeisashriveleddwarfoffourfeet。"
　　Theartistsaid:
　　"Yes，theOldMastersoftendrewbadly；theydidnotcaremuchfortruthandexactnessinminordetails；
　　butafterall，inspiteofbaddrawing，badperspective，badproportions，andachoiceofsubjectswhichnolongerappealtopeopleasstronglyastheydidthreehundredyearsago，thereisaSOMETHINGabouttheirpictureswhichisdivine——asomethingwhichisaboveandbeyondtheartofanyepochsince——asomethingwhichwouldbethedespairofartistsbutthattheyneverhopeorexpecttoattainit，andthereforedonotworryaboutit。"
　　Thatiswhathesaid——andhesaidwhathebelieved；
　　andnotonlybelieved，butfelt。
　　Reasoning——especiallyreasoning，withouttechnicalknowledge——mustbeputaside，incasesofthiskind。
　　Itcannotassisttheinquirer。Itwillleadhim，inthemostlogicalprogression，towhat，intheeyesofartists，wouldbeamostillogicalconclusion。
　　Thus:baddrawing，badproportion，badperspective，indifferencetotruthfuldetail，colorwhichgetsitsmeritfromtime，andnotfromtheartist——thesethingsconstitutetheOldMaster；conclusion，theOldMasterwasabadpainter，theOldMasterwasnotanOldMasteratall，butanOldApprentice。Yourfriendtheartistwillgrantyourpremises，butdenyyourconclusion；
　　hewillmaintainthatnotwithstandingthisformidablelistofconfesseddefects，thereisstillasomethingthatisdivineandunapproachableabouttheOldMaster，andthatthereisnoarguingthefactawaybyanysystemofreasoningwhatsoever。
　　Icanbelievethat。Therearewomenwhohaveanindefinablecharmintheirfaceswhichmakesthembeautifultotheirintimates，butacoldstrangerwhotriedtoreasonthematteroutandfindthisbeautywouldfail。Hewouldsaytooneofthesewomen:Thischinistooshort，thisnoseistoolong，thisforeheadistoohigh，thishairistoored，thiscomplexionistoopallid，theperspectiveoftheentirecompositionisincorrect；conclusion，thewomanisnotbeautiful。
　　Buthernearestfriendmightsay，andsaytruly，"Yourpremisesareright，yourlogicisfaultless，butyourconclusioniswrong，nevertheless；sheisanOldMaster——sheisbeautiful，butonlytosuchasknowher；
　　itisabeautywhichcannotbeformulated，butitisthere，justthesame。"
　　IfoundmorepleasureincontemplatingtheOldMastersthistimethanIdidwhenIwasinEuropeinformeryears，butstillitwasacalmpleasure；therewasnothingoverheatedaboutit。WhenIwasinVenicebefore，IthinkIfoundnopicturewhichstirredmemuch，butthistimethereweretwowhichenticedmetotheDoge'spalacedayafterday，andkeptmetherehoursatatime。
　　OneofthesewasTintoretto'sthree-acrepictureintheGreatCouncilChamber。WhenIsawittwelveyearsagoI
　　wasnotstronglyattractedtoit——theguidetoldmeitwasaninsurrectioninheaven——butthiswasanerror。
　　Themovementofthisgreatworkisveryfine。Therearetenthousandfigures，andtheyarealldoingsomething。
　　Thereisawonderful"go"tothewholecomposition。
　　Someofthefiguresaredrivingheadlongdownward，withclaspedhands，othersareswimmingthroughthecloud-shoals——someontheirfaces，someontheirbacks——greatprocessionsofbishops，martyrs，andangelsarepouringswiftlycenterwardfromvariousoutlyingdirections——everywhereisenthusiasticjoy，thereisrushingmovementeverywhere。
　　Therearefifteenortwentyfiguresscatteredhereandthere，withbooks，buttheycannotkeeptheirattentionontheirreading——theyofferthebookstoothers，butnoonewishestoread，now。TheLionofSt。Markistherewithhisbook；St。Markistherewithhispenuplifted；
　　heandtheLionarelookingeachotherearnestlyintheface，disputingaboutthewaytospellaword——theLionlooksupinraptadmirationwhileSt。Markspells。
　　Thisiswonderfullyinterpretedbytheartist。
　　Itisthemaster-strokeofthisimcomparablepainting。
　　[Figure10]
　　Ivisitedtheplacedaily，andnevergrewtiredoflookingatthatgrandpicture。AsIhaveintimated，themovementisalmostunimaginablevigorous；thefiguresaresinging，hosannahing，andmanyareblowingtrumpets。
　　Sovividlyisnoisesuggested，thatspectatorswhobecomeabsorbedinthepicturealmostalwaysfalltoshoutingcommentsineachother'sears，makingear-trumpetsoftheircurvedhands，fearingtheymaynototherwisebeheard。
　　Oneoftenseesatourist，withtheeloquenttearspouringdownhischeeks，funnelhishandsathiswife'sear，andhearshimroarthroughthem，"OH，TOBETHEREAND
　　ATREST!"
　　Nonebutthesupremelygreatinartcanproduceeffectslikethesewiththesilentbrush。
　　TwelveyearsagoIcouldnothaveappreciatedthispicture。
　　OneyearagoIcouldnothaveappreciatedit。MystudyofArtinHeidelberghasbeenanobleeducationtome。
　　AllthatIamtodayinArt，Iowetothat。
　　TheothergreatworkwhichfascinatedmewasBassano'simmortalHairTrunk。ThisisintheChamberoftheCouncilofTen。Itisinoneofthethreeforty-footpictureswhichdecoratethewallsoftheroom。Thecompositionofthispictureisbeyondpraise。TheHairTrunkisnothurledatthestranger'shead——sotospeak——asthechieffeatureofanimmortalworksooftenis；no，itiscarefullyguardedfromprominence，itissubordinated，itisrestrained，itismostdeftlyandcleverlyheldinreserve，itismostcautiouslyandingeniouslyledupto，bythemaster，andconsequentlywhenthespectatorreachesitatlast，heistakenunawares，heisunprepared，anditburstsuponhimwithastupefyingsurprise。
　　Oneislostinwonderatallthethoughtandcarewhichthiselaborateplanningmusthavecost。Ageneralglanceatthepicturecouldneversuggestthattherewasahairtrunkinit；theHairTrunkisnotmentionedinthetitleeven——whichis，"PopeAlexanderIII。andtheDogeZiani，theConqueroroftheEmperorFrederickBarbarossa"；
　　yousee，thetitleisactuallyutilizedtohelpdivertattentionfromtheTrunk；thus，asIsay，nothingsuggeststhepresenceoftheTrunk，byanyhint，yeteverythingstudiedlyleadsuptoit，stepbystep。
　　Letusexamineintothis，andobservetheexquisitelyartfulartlessnessoftheplan。
　　Attheextremeleftendofthepictureareacoupleofwomen，oneofthemwithachildlookingoverhershoulderatawoundedmansittingwithbandagedheadontheground。
　　Thesepeopleseemneedless，butno，theyarethereforapurpose；onecannotlookatthemwithoutseeingthegorgeousprocessionofgrandees，bishops，halberdiers，andbanner-bearerswhichispassingalongbehindthem；
　　onecannotseetheprocessionwithoutfeelingthecuriositytofollowitandlearnwhitheritisgoing；itleadshimtothePope，inthecenterofthepicture，whoistalkingwiththebonnetlessDoge——talkingtranquilly，too，althoughwithintwelvefeetofthemamanisbeatingadrum，andnotfarfromthedrummertwopersonsareblowinghorns，andmanyhorsemenareplungingandriotingabout——indeed，twenty-twofeetofthisgreatworkisalladeepandhappyholidayserenityandSunday-schoolprocession，andthenwecomesuddenlyuponelevenandone-halffeetofturmoilandracketandinsubordination。Thislatterstateofthingsisnotanaccident，ithasitspurpose。
　　Butforit，onewouldlingeruponthePopeandtheDoge，thinkingthemtobethemotiveandsupremefeatureofthepicture；whereasoneisdrawnalong，almostunconsciously，toseewhatthetroubleisabout。NowattheveryEND
　　ofthisriot，withinfourfeetoftheendofthepicture，andfullthirty-sixfeetfromthebeginningofit，theHairTrunkburstswithanelectrifyingsuddennessuponthespectator，inallitsmatchlessperfection，andthegreatmaster'striumphissweepingandcomplete。
　　Fromthatmomentnootherthinginthosefortyfeetofcanvashasanycharm；oneseestheHairTrunk，andtheHairTrunkonly——andtoseeitistoworshipit。BassanoevenplacedobjectsintheimmediatevicinityoftheSupremeFeaturewhosepretendedpurposewastodivertattentionfromityetalittlelongerandthusdelayandaugmentthesurprise；
　　forinstance，totherightofithehasplacedastoopingmanwithacapsoredthatitissuretoholdtheeyeforamoment——totheleftofit，somesixfeetaway，hehasplacedared-coatedmanonaninflatedhorse，andthatcoatplucksyoureyetothatlocalitythenextmoment——then，betweentheTrunkandtheredhorsemanhehasintrudedaman，nakedtohiswaist，whoiscarryingafancyflour-sackonthemiddleofhisbackinsteadofonhisshoulder——thisadmirablefeatinterestsyou，ofcourse——keepsyouatbayalittlelonger，likeasockorajacketthrowntothepursuingwolf——butatlast，inspiteofalldistractionsanddetentions，theeyeofeventhemostdullandheedlessspectatorissuretofallupontheWorld'sMasterpiece，andinthatmomenthetotterstohischairorleansuponhisguideforsupport。
　　Descriptionsofsuchaworkasthismustnecessarilybeimperfect，yettheyareofvalue。ThetopoftheTrunkisarched；thearchisaperfecthalf-circle，intheRomanstyleofarchitecture，forinthethenrapiddecadenceofGreekart，therisinginfluenceofRomewasalreadybeginningtobefeltintheartoftheRepublic。
　　TheTrunkisboundorborderedwithleatherallaroundwherethelidjoinsthemainbody。Manycriticsconsiderthisleathertoocoldintone；butIconsiderthisitshighestmerit，sinceitwasevidentlymadesotoemphasizebycontrasttheimpassionedfervorofthehasp。
　　Thehighlightsinthispartoftheworkarecleverlymanaged，theMOTIFisadmirablysubordinatedtothegroundtints，andthetechniqueisveryfine。Thebrassnail-headsareinthepureststyleoftheearlyRenaissance。
　　Thestrokes，here，areveryfirmandbold——everynail-headisaportrait。ThehandleontheendoftheTrunkhasevidentlybeenretouched——Ithink，withapieceofchalk——
　　butonecanstillseetheinspirationoftheOldMasterinthetranquil，almosttootranquil，hangofit。ThehairofthisTrunkisREALhair——sotospeak——whiteinpatched，browninpatches。Thedetailsarefinelyworkedout；
　　thereposepropertohairinarecumbentandinactiveattitudeischarminglyexpressed。Thereisafeelingaboutthispartoftheworkwhichliftsittothehighestaltitudesofart；thesenseofsordidrealismvanishesaway——onerecognizesthatthereisSOULhere。
　　ViewthisTrunkasyouwill，itisagem，itisamarvel，itisamiracle。Someoftheeffectsareverydaring，approachingeventotheboldestflightsoftherococo，thesirocco，andtheByzantineschools——yetthemaster'shandneverfalters——itmoveson，calm，majestic，confident——and，withthatartwhichconcealsart，itfinallycastsovertheTOUTENSEMBLE，bymysteriousmethodsofitsown，asubtlesomethingwhichrefines，subdues，etherealizesthearidcomponentsandenduresthemwiththedeepcharmandgraciouswitcheryofpoesy。
　　Amongtheart-treasuresofEuropetherearepictureswhichapproachtheHairTrunk——therearetwowhichmaybesaidtoequalit，possibly——butthereisnonethatsurpassesit。SoperfectistheHairTrunkthatitmovesevenpersonswhoordinarilyhavenofeelingforart。
　　WhenanEriebaggagemastersawittwoyearsago，hecouldhardlykeepfromcheckingit；andoncewhenacustomsinspectorwasbroughtintoitspresence，hegazeduponitinsilentraptureforsomemoments，thenslowlyandunconsciouslyplacedonehandbehindhimwiththepalmuppermost，andgotouthischalkwiththeother。
　　Thesefactsspeakforthemselves。
　　CHAPTERXLIX
　　[HangedwithaGoldenRope]
　　OnelingersabouttheCathedralagooddeal，inVenice。
　　Thereisastrongfascinationaboutit——partlybecauseitissoold，andpartlybecauseitissougly。
　　Toomanyoftheworld'sfamousbuildingsfailofonechiefvirtue——harmony；theyaremadeupofamethodlessmixtureoftheuglyandthebeautiful；thisisbad；
　　itisconfusing，itisunrestful。Onehasasenseofuneasiness，ofdistress，withoutknowingwhy。ButoneiscalmbeforeSt。Mark's，oneiscalminthecellar；
　　foritsdetailsaremasterfullyugly，nomisplacedandimpertinentbeautiesareintrudedanywhere；andtheconsequentresultisagrandharmoniouswhole，ofsoothing，entrancing，tranquilizing，soul-satisfyingugliness。
　　One'sadmirationofaperfectthingalwaysgrows，neverdeclines；andthisisthesurestevidencetohimthatitISperfect。St。Mark'sisperfect。Tomeitsoongrewtobesonobly，soaugustlyugly，thatitwasdifficulttostayawayfromit，evenforalittlewhile。
　　Everytimeitssquatdomesdisappearedfrommyview，Ihadadespondentfeeling；whenevertheyreappeared，Ifeltanhonestrapture——IhavenotknownanyhappierhoursthanthoseIdailyspentinfrontofFlorian's，lookingacrosstheGreatSquareatit。Proppedonitslongrowoflowthick-leggedcolumns，itsbackknobbedwithdomes，itseemedlikeavastwartybugtakingameditativewalk。
　　St。Mark'sisnottheoldestbuildingintheworld，ofcourse，butitseemstheoldest，andlookstheoldest——especiallyinside。
　　Whentheancientmosaicsinitswallsbecomedamaged，theyarerepairedbutnotaltered；thegrotesqueoldpatternispreserved。Antiquityhasacharmofitsown，andtosmartenitupwouldonlydamageit。OnedayI
　　wassittingonaredmarblebenchinthevestibulelookingupatanancientpieceofapprentice-work，inmosaic，illustrativeofthecommandto"multiplyandreplenishtheearth。"TheCathedralitselfhadseemedveryold；
　　butthispicturewasillustratingaperiodinhistorywhichmadethebuildingseemyoungbycomparison。
　　ButIpresentlyfoundanantiquewhichwasolderthaneitherthebatteredCathedralorthedateassignedtothepieceofhistory；itwasaspiral-shapedfossilaslargeasthecrownofahat；itwasembeddedinthemarblebench，andhadbeensatuponbytouristsuntilitwaswornsmooth。
　　Contrastedwiththeinconceivableantiquityofthismodestfossil，thoseotherthingswereflippantlymodern——jejune——meremattersofday-before-yesterday。
　　ThesenseoftheoldnessoftheCathedralvanishedawayundertheinfluenceofthistrulyvenerablepresence。
　　St。Mark'sismonumental；itisanimperishableremembranceroftheprofoundandsimplypietyoftheMiddleAges。
　　Whoevercouldravishacolumnfromapagantemple，diditandcontributedhisswagtothisChristianone。
　　Sothisfaneisupheldbyseveralhundredacquisitionsprocuredinthatpeculiarway。Inourdayitwouldbeimmoraltogoonthehighwaytogetbricksforachurch，butitwasnosinintheoldtimes。St。Mark'swasitselfthevictimofacuriousrobberyonce。ThethingissetdowninthehistoryofVenice，butitmightbesmuggledintotheArabianNightsandnotseemoutofplacethere:
　　Nearlyfourhundredandfiftyyearsago，aCandiannamedStammato，inthesuiteofaprinceofthehouseofEste，wasallowedtoviewtherichesofSt。Mark's。
　　Hissinfuleyewasdazzledandhehidhimselfbehindanaltar，withanevilpurposeinhisheart，butapriestdiscoveredhimandturnedhimout。Afterwardhegotinagain——byfalsekeys，thistime。Hewentthere，nightafternight，andworkedhardandpatiently，allalone，overcomingdifficultyafterdifficultywithhistoil，andatlastsucceededinremovingagreatbrickofthemarblepanelingwhichwalledthelowerpartofthetreasury；
　　thisblockhefixedsothathecouldtakeitoutandputitinatwill。Afterthat，forweeks，hespentallhismidnightsinhismagnificentmine，inspectingitinsecurity，gloatingoveritsmarvelsathisleisure，andalwaysslippingbacktohisobscurelodgingsbeforedawn，withaduke'sransomunderhiscloak。Hedidnotneedtograb，haphazard，andrun——therewasnohurry。
　　Hecouldmakedeliberateandwell-consideredselections；
　　hecouldconsulthisesthetictastes。Onecomprehendshowundisturbedhewas，andhowsafefromanydangerofinterruption，whenitisstatedthatheevencarriedoffaunicorn'shorn——amerecuriosity——whichwouldnotpassthroughtheegressentire，buthadtobesawnintwo——
　　abitofworkwhichcosthimhoursoftediouslabor。
　　Hecontinuedtostoreuphistreasuresathomeuntilhisoccupationlostthecharmofnoveltyandbecamemonotonous；
　　thenheceasedfromit，contented。Wellhemightbe；
　　forhiscollection，raisedtomodernvalues，representednearlyfiftymilliondollars!
　　Hecouldhavegonehomemuchtherichestcitizenofhiscountry，anditmighthavebeenyearsbeforetheplunderwasmissed；
　　buthewashuman——hecouldnotenjoyhisdelightalone，hemusthavesomebodytotalkaboutitwith。SoheexactedasolemnoathfromaCandiannoblenamedCrioni，thenledhimtohislodgingsandnearlytookhisbreathawaywithasightofhisglitteringhoard。Hedetectedalookinhisfriend'sfacewhichexcitedhissuspicion，andwasabouttoslipastilettointohimwhenCrionisavedhimselfbyexplainingthatthatlookwasonlyanexpressionofsupremeandhappyastonishment。
　　StammatomadeCrioniapresentofoneofthestate'sprincipaljewels——ahugecarbuncle，whichafterwardfiguredintheDucalcapofstate——andthepairparted。
　　Crioniwentatoncetothepalace，denouncedthecriminal，andhandedoverthecarbuncleasevidence。
　　Stammatowasarrested，tried，andcondemned，withtheold-timeVenetianpromptness。HewashangedbetweenthetwogreatcolumnsinthePiazza——withagildedrope，outofcomplimenttohisloveofgold，perhaps。Hegotnogoodofhisbootyatall——itwasALLrecovered。
　　InVenicewehadaluxurywhichveryseldomfelltoourlotonthecontinent——ahomedinnerwithaprivatefamily。
　　Ifonecouldalwaysstopwithprivatefamilies，whentraveling，Europewouldhaveacharmwhichitnowlacks。Asitis，onemustliveinthehotels，ofcourse，andthatisasorrowfulbusiness。
　　AmanaccustomedtoAmericanfoodandAmericandomesticcookerywouldnotstarvetodeathsuddenlyinEurope；
　　butIthinkhewouldgraduallywasteaway，andeventuallydie。
　　Hewouldhavetodowithouthisaccustomedmorningmeal。
　　Thatistooformidableachangealtogether；hewouldnecessarilysufferfromit。Hecouldgettheshadow，thesham，thebasecounterfeitofthatmeal；butitwoulddohimnogood，andmoneycouldnotbuythereality。
　　Toparticularize:theaverageAmerican'ssimplestandcommonestformofbreakfastconsistsofcoffeeandbeefsteak；
　　well，inEurope，coffeeisanunknownbeverage。YoucangetwhattheEuropeanhotel-keeperthinksiscoffee，butitresemblestherealthingashypocrisyresemblesholiness。
　　Itisafeeble，characterless，uninspiringsortofstuff，andalmostasundrinkableasifithadbeenmadeinanAmericanhotel。ThemilkusedforitiswhattheFrenchcall"Christian"milk——milkwhichhasbeenbaptized。
　　Afterafewmonths'acquaintancewithEuropean"coffee，"
　　one'smindweakens，andhisfaithwithit，andhebeginstowonderiftherichbeverageofhome，withitsclottedlayerofyellowcreamontopofit，isnotameredream，afterall，andathingwhichneverexisted。
　　NextcomestheEuropeanbread——fairenough，goodenough，afterafashion，butcold；coldandtough，andunsympathetic；
　　andneveranychange，neveranyvariety——alwaysthesametiresomething。
　　Next，thebutter——theshamandtastelessbutter；nosaltinit，andmadeofgoodnessknowswhat。
　　Thenthereisthebeefsteak。TheyhaveitinEurope，buttheydon'tknowhowtocookit。Neitherwilltheycutitright。
　　Itcomesonthetableinasmall，roundpewterplatter。
　　Itliesinthecenterofthisplatter，inaborderingbedofgrease-soakedpotatoes；itisthesize，shape，andthicknessofaman'shandwiththethumbandfingerscutoff。Itisalittleoverdone，isratherdry，ittastesprettyinsipidly，itrousesnoenthusiasm。
　　Imagineapoorexilecontemplatingthatinertthing；
　　andimagineanangelsuddenlysweepingdownoutofabetterlandandsettingbeforehimamightyporterhousesteakaninchandahalfthick，hotandsputteringfromthegriddle；
　　dustedwithafragrantpepper；enrichedwithlittlemeltingbitsofbutterofthemostunimpeachablefreshnessandgenuineness；thepreciousjuicesofthemeattricklingoutandjoiningthegravy，archipelagoedwithmushrooms；
　　atownshiportwooftender，yellowishfatgracinganoutlyingdistrictofthisamplecountyofbeefsteak；
　　thelongwhitebonewhichdividesthesirloinfromthetenderloinstillinitsplace；andimaginethattheangelalsoaddsagreatcupofAmericanhome-madecoffee，withacreama-frothontop，somerealbutter，firmandyellowandfresh，somesmokinghot-biscuits，aplateofhotbuckwheatcakes，withtransparentsyrup——couldwordsdescribethegratitudeofthisexile?
　　TheEuropeandinnerisbetterthantheEuropeanbreakfast，butithasitsfaultsandinferiorities；itdoesnotsatisfy。
　　Hecomestothetableeagerandhungry；heswallowshissoup——thereisanundefinablelackaboutitsomewhere；
　　thinksthefishisgoingtobethethinghewants——
　　eatsitandisn'tsure；thinksthenextdishisperhapstheonethatwillhitthehungryplace——triesit，andisconsciousthattherewasasomethingwantingaboutit，also。Andthushegoeson，fromdishtodish，likeaboyafterabutterflywhichjustmissesgettingcaughteverytimeitalights，butsomehowdoesn'tgetcaughtafterall；andattheendtheexileandtheboyhavefaredaboutalike；theoneisfull，butgrievouslyunsatisfied，theotherhashadplentyofexercise，plentyofinterest，andafinelotofhopes，buthehasn'tgotanybutterfly。
　　ThereishereandthereanAmericanwhowillsayhecanrememberrisingfromaEuropeantabled'ho^teperfectlysatisfied；
　　butwemustnotoverlookthefactthatthereisalsohereandthereanAmericanwhowilllie。
　　Thenumberofdishesissufficient；butthenitissuchamonotonousvarietyofUNSTRIKINGdishes。Itisaninanedead-levelof"fair-to-middling。"ThereisnothingtoACCENTit。Perhapsiftheroastofmuttonorofbeef——abig，generousone——werebroughtonthetableandcarvedinfullviewoftheclient，thatmightgivetherightsenseofearnestnessandrealitytothething；buttheydon'tdothat，theypasstheslicedmeataroundonadish，andsoyouareperfectlycalm，itdoesnotstiryouintheleast。
　　Nowavastroastturkey，stretchedonthebroadofhisback，withhisheelsintheairandtherichjuicesoozingfromhisfatsides……butImayaswellstopthere，fortheywouldnotknowhowtocookhim。Theycan'tevencookachickenrespectably；andasforcarvingit，theydothatwithahatchet。
　　Thisisaboutthecustomarytabled'ho^tebillinsummer:
　　Soupcharacterless。
　　Fish——sole，salmon，orwhiting——usuallytolerablygood。
　　Roast——muttonorbeef——tasteless——andsomelastyear'spotatoes。
　　Apa^te，orsomeothermadedish——usuallygood——"considering。"
　　Onevegetable——broughtoninstate，andallalone——usuallyinsipidlentils，orstring-beans，orindifferentasparagus。
　　Roastchicken，astastelessaspaper。
　　Lettuce-salad——tolerablygood。
　　Decayedstrawberriesorcherries。
　　Sometimestheapricotsandfigsarefresh，butthisisnoadvantage，asthesefruitsareofnoaccountanyway。
　　Thegrapesaregenerallygood，andsometimesthereisatolerablygoodpeach，bymistake。
　　Thevariationsoftheabovebillaretrifling。Afterafortnightonediscoversthatthevariationsareonlyapparent，notreal；inthethirdweekyougetwhatyouhadthefirst，andinthefourththeweekyougetwhatyouhadthesecond。
　　Threeorfourmonthsofthiswearysamenesswillkilltherobustestappetite。
　　Ithasnowbeenmanymonths，atthepresentwriting，sinceIhavehadanourishingmeal，butIshallsoonhaveone——amodest，privateaffair，alltomyself。
　　Ihaveselectedafewdishes，andmadeoutalittlebilloffare，whichwillgohomeinthesteamerthatprecedesme，andbehotwhenIarrive——asfollows:
　　Radishes。Bakedapples，withBrook-trout，fromSierracream。Nevadas。Friedoysters；stewedoysters。
　　Lake-trout，fromTahoe。Frogs。SheepsheadandcroakersfromAmericancoffee，withrealcream。NewOrleans。
　　Americanbutter。Black-bassfromtheMississippi。
　　Friedchicken，Southernstyle。Americanroastbeef。
　　Porterhousesteak。Roastturkey，ThanksgivingSaratogapotatoes。style。Broiledchicken，Americanstyle。
　　Cranberrysauce。Celery。Hotbiscuits，Southernstyle。
　　Roastwildturkey。Woodcock。Hotwheat-bread，SouthernCanvasback-duck，fromstyle。Baltimore。Hotbuckwheatcakes。
　　Prairie-hens，fromIllinois。Americantoast。ClearmapleMissouripartridges，broiled。syrup。Possum。Coon。
　　Virginiabacon，broiled。Bostonbaconandbeans。
　　Bluepoints，onthehalfshell。Baconandgreens，Southernstyle。Cherry-stoneclams。Hominy。Boiledonions。
　　SanFranciscomussels，steamed。Turnips。Oystersoup。
　　Clamsoup。Pumpkin。Squash。Asparagus。PhiladelphiaTerrapinsoup。Butter-beans。Sweet-potatoes。Oystersroastedinshell——Lettuce。Succotash。Northernstyle。
　　String-beans。Soft-shellcrabs。ConnecticutMashedpotatoes。
　　Catsup。shad。Boiledpotatoes，intheirskins。
　　Baltimoreperch。Newpotatoes，minustheskins。
　　EarlyRosepotatoes，roastedinHotegg-bread，Southernstyle。
　　theashes，Southernstyle，Hotlight-bread，Southernstyle。
　　servedhot。Buttermilk。Icedsweetmilk。Slicedtomatoes，withsugarorAppledumplings，withrealvinegar。
　　Stewedtomatoes。cream。Greencorn，cutfromtheearandApplepie。Applefritters。servedwithbutterandpepper。
　　Applepuffs，Southernstyle。Greencorn，ontheear。
　　Peachcobbler，Southernstyle。Hotcorn-pone，withchitlings，Peachpie。Americanmincepie。Southernstyle。
　　Pumpkinpie。Squashpie。Hothoe-cake，Southernstyle。
　　AllsortsofAmericanpastry。
　　FreshAmericanfruitsofallsorts，includingstrawberries，whicharenottobedoledoutasiftheywerejewelry，butinamoreliberalway。
　　Ice-water——notpreparedintheineffectualgoblet，butinthesincereandcapablerefrigerator。
　　AmericansintendingtospendayearorsoinEuropeanhotels，willdowelltocopythisbillandcarryitalong。Theywillfinditanexcellentthingtogetupanappetitewith，inthedispiritingpresenceofthesqualidtabled'ho^te。
　　Foreignerscannotenjoyourfood，Isuppose，anymorethanwecanenjoytheirs。Itisnotstrange；fortastesaremade，notborn。ImightglorifymybilloffareuntilIwastired；
　　butafterall，theScotchmanwouldshakehisheadandsay，"Where'syourhaggis?"andtheFijianwouldsighandsay，"Where'syourmissionary?"
　　Ihaveaneattalentinmatterspertainingtonourishment。
　　Thishasmetwithprofessionalrecognition。Ihaveoftenfurnishedrecipesforcook-books。Herearesomedesignsforpiesandthings，whichIrecentlypreparedforafriend'sprojectedcook-book，butasIforgottofurnishdiagramsandperspectives，theyhadtobeleftout，ofcourse。
　　RECIPEFORANASH-CAKE
　　TakealotofwaterandaddtoitalotofcoarseIndian-mealandaboutaquarterofalotofsalt。
　　Mixwelltogether，kneadintotheformofa"pone，"andlettheponestandawhile——notonitsedge，buttheotherway。
　　Rakeawayaplaceamongtheembers，layitthere，andcoveritaninchdeepwithhotashes。Whenitisdone，removeit；blowoffalltheashesbutonelayer；
　　butterthatoneandeat。
　　N。B——Nohouseholdshouldeverbewithoutthistalisman。
　　Ithasbeennoticedthattrampsneverreturnforanotherash-cake——
　　RECIPEFORNEWENGLISHPIE
　　Tomakethisexcellentbreakfastdish，proceedasfollows:Takeasufficiencyofwaterandasufficiencyofflour，andconstructabullet-proofdough。
　　Workthisintotheformofadisk，withtheedgesturnedupsomethree-fourthsofaninch。Toughenandkiln-dryinacoupledaysinamildbutunvaryingtemperature。
　　Constructacoverforthisredoubtinthesamewayandofthesamematerial。Fillwithsteweddriedapples；
　　aggravatewithcloves，lemon-peel，andslabsofcitron；
　　addtwoportionsofNewOrleanssugars，thensolderonthelidandsetinasafeplacetillitpetrifies。
　　Servecoldatbreakfastandinviteyourenemy——
　　RECIPEFORGERMANCOFFEE
　　Takeabarrelofwaterandbringittoaboil；rubachicoryberryagainstacoffeeberry，thenconveytheformerintothewater。Continuetheboilingandevaporationuntiltheintensityoftheflavorandaromaofthecoffeeandchicoryhasbeendiminishedtoaproperdegree；
　　thensetasidetocool。Nowunharnesstheremainsofaoncecowfromtheplow，inserttheminahydraulicpress，andwhenyoushallhaveacquiredateaspoonofthatpale-bluejuicewhichaGermansuperstitionregardsasmilk，modifythemalignityofitsstrengthinabucketoftepidwaterandringupthebreakfast。Mixthebeverageinacoldcup，partakewithmoderation，andkeepawetragaroundyourheadtoguardagainstover-excitement——
　　TOCARVEFOWLSINTHEGERMANFASHION
　　Useaclub，andavoidthejoints。
　　CHAPTERL
　　[TitianBadandTitianGood]
　　Iwonderwhysomethingsare?Forinstance，Artisallowedasmuchindecentlicensetodayasinearliertimes——
　　buttheprivilegesofLiteratureinthisrespecthavebeensharplycurtailedwithinthepasteightyorninetyyears。
　　FieldingandSmollettcouldportraythebeastlinessoftheirdayinthebeastliestlanguage；wehaveplentyoffoulsubjectstodealwithinourday，butwearenotallowedtoapproachthemverynear，evenwithniceandguardedformsofspeech。ButnotsowithArt。
　　Thebrushmaystilldealfreelywithanysubject，howeverrevoltingorindelicate。Itmakesabodyoozesarcasmateverypore，togoaboutRomeandFlorenceandseewhatthislastgenerationhasbeendoingwiththestatues。
　　Theseworks，whichhadstoodininnocentnakednessforages，areallfig-leavednow。Yes，everyoneofthem。
　　Nobodynoticedtheirnakednessbefore，perhaps；nobodycanhelpnoticingitnow，thefig-leafmakesitsoconspicuous。
　　Butthecomicalthingaboutitall，is，thatthefig-leafisconfinedtocoldandpallidmarble，whichwouldbestillcoldandunsuggestivewithoutthisshamandostentatioussymbolofmodesty，whereaswarm-bloodpaintingswhichdoreallyneedithaveinnocasebeenfurnishedwithit。
　　AtthedooroftheUffizzi，inFlorence，oneisconfrontedbystatuesofamanandawoman，noseless，battered，blackwithaccumulatedgrime——theyhardlysuggesthumanbeings——
　　yettheseridiculouscreatureshavebeenthoughtfullyandconscientiouslyfig-leavedbythisfastidiousgeneration。
　　Youenter，andproceedtothatmost-visitedlittlegallerythatexistsintheworld——theTribune——andthere，againstthewall，withoutobstructingragorleaf，youmaylookyourfilluponthefoulest，thevilest，theobscenestpicturetheworldpossesses——Titian'sVenus。
　　Itisn'tthatsheisnakedandstretchedoutonabed——no，itistheattitudeofoneofherarmsandhand。IfI
　　venturedtodescribethatattitude，therewouldbeafinehowl——buttheretheVenuslies，foranybodytogloatoverthatwantsto——andthereshehasarighttolie，forsheisaworkofart，andArthasitsprivileges。
　　Isawyounggirlsstealingfurtiveglancesather；Isawyoungmengazelongandabsorbedlyather；Isawaged，infirmmenhanguponhercharmswithapatheticinterest。
　　HowIshouldliketodescribeher——justtoseewhataholyindignationIcouldstirupintheworld——justtoheartheunreflectingaveragemandeliverhimselfaboutmygrossnessandcoarseness，andallthat。Theworldsaysthatnowordeddescriptionofamovingspectacleisahundredthpartasmovingasthesamespectacleseenwithone'sowneyes——yettheworldiswillingtoletitssonanditsdaughteranditselflookatTitian'sbeast，butwon'tstandadescriptionofitinwords。
　　Whichshowsthattheworldisnotasconsistentasitmightbe。
　　Therearepicturesofnudewomenwhichsuggestnoimpurethought——Iamwellawareofthat。Iamnotrailingatsuch。WhatIamtryingtoemphasizeisthefactthatTitian'sVenusisveryfarfrombeingoneofthatsort。
　　Withoutanyquestionitwaspaintedforabagnioanditwasprobablyrefusedbecauseitwasatrifletoostrong。
　　Intruth，itistoostrongforanyplacebutapublicArtGallery。TitianhastwoVenusesintheTribune；
　　personswhohaveseenthemwilleasilyrememberwhichoneIamreferringto。
　　IneverygalleryinEuropetherearehideouspicturesofblood，carnage，oozingbrains，putrefaction——picturesportrayingintolerablesuffering——picturesalivewitheveryconceivablehorror，wroughtoutindreadfuldetail——andsimilarpicturesarebeingputonthecanvaseverydayandpubliclyexhibited——withoutagrowlfromanybody——fortheyareinnocent，theyareinoffensive，beingworksofart。Butsupposealiteraryartistventuredtogointoapainstakingandelaboratedescriptionofoneofthesegrislythings——thecriticswouldskinhimalive。Well，letitgo，itcannotbehelped；
　　Artretainsherprivileges，Literaturehaslosthers。
　　Somebodyelsemaycipheroutthewhysandthewhereforesandtheconsistenciesofit——Ihaven'tgottime。
　　Titian'sVenusdefilesanddisgracestheTribune，thereisnosofteningthatfact，buthis"Moses"glorifiesit。
　　Thesimpletruthfulnessofitsnobleworkwinstheheartandtheapplauseofeveryvisitor，behelearnedorignorant。
　　Afterwearyingone'sselfwiththeacresofstuffy，sappy，expressionlessbabiesthatpopulatethecanvasesoftheOldMastersofItaly，itisrefreshingtostandbeforethispeerlesschildandfeelthatthrillwhichtellsyouyouareatlastinthepresenceoftherealthing。
　　Thisisahumanchild，thisisgenuine。Youhaveseenhimathousandtimes——youhaveseenhimjustasheishere——
　　andyouconfess，withoutreserve，thatTitianWASaMaster。
　　Thedoll-facesofotherpaintedbabesmaymeanonething，theymaymeananother，butwiththe"Moses"thecaseisdifferent。Themostfamousofalltheart-criticshassaid，"Thereisnoroomfordoubt，here——plainlythischildisintrouble。"
　　Iconsiderthatthe"Moses"hasnoequalamongtheworksoftheOldMasters，exceptitbethedivineHairTrunkofBassano。IfeelsurethatifalltheotherOldMasterswerelostandonlythesetwopreserved，theworldwouldbethegainerbyit。
　　MysolepurposeingoingtoFlorencewastoseethisimmortal"Moses，"andbygoodfortuneIwasjustintime，fortheywerealreadypreparingtoremoveittoamoreprivateandbetter-protectedplacebecauseafashionofrobbingthegreatgallerieswasprevailinginEuropeatthetime。
　　Igotacapableartisttocopythepicture；Pannemaker，theengraverofDor'e'sbooks，engraveditforme，andIhavethepleasureoflayingitbeforethereaderinthisvolume。
　　WetookaturntoRomeandsomeotherItaliancities——
　　thentoMunich，andthencetoParis——partlyforexercise，butmainlybecausethesethingswereinourprojectedprogram，anditwasonlyrightthatweshouldbefaithfultoit。
　　FromParisIbranchedoutandwalkedthroughHollandandBelgium，procuringanoccasionalliftbyrailorcanalwhentired，andIhadatolerablygoodtimeofit"byandlarge。"
　　IworkedSpainandotherregionsthroughagentstosavetimeandshoe-leather。
　　WecrossedtoEngland，andthenmadethehomewardpassageintheCunarderGALLIA，averyfineship。
　　Iwasgladtogethome——immeasurablyglad；soglad，infact，thatitdidnotseempossiblethatanythingcouldevergetmeoutofthecountryagain。IhadnotenjoyedapleasureabroadwhichseemedtometocomparewiththepleasureIfeltinseeingNewYorkharboragain。
　　Europehasmanyadvantageswhichwehavenot，buttheydonotcompensateforagoodmanystillmorevaluableoneswhichexistnowherebutinourowncountry。
　　Thenwearesuchahomelesslotwhenweareoverthere!SoareEuropeansthemselves，forthematter。
　　Theyliveindarkandchillyvasttombs——costlyenough，maybe，butwithoutconveniences。TobecondemnedtoliveastheaverageEuropeanfamilyliveswouldmakelifeaprettyheavyburdentotheaverageAmericanfamily。
　　Onthewhole，IthinkthatshortvisitstoEuropearebetterforusthanlongones。TheformerpreserveusfrombecomingEuropeanized；theykeepourprideofcountryintact，andatthesametimetheyintensifyouraffectionforourcountryandourpeople；whereaslongvisitshavetheeffectofdullingthosefeelings——atleastinthemajorityofcases。IthinkthatonewhomixesmuchwithAmericanslongresidentabroadmustarriveatthisconclusion。
　　APPENDIX
　　NothinggivessuchweightanddignitytoabookasanAppendix。HERODOTUS
　　APPENDIXA
　　ThePortierOmarKhay'am，thepoet-prophetofPersia，writingmorethaneighthundredyearsago，hassaid:
　　"Inthefourpartsoftheeartharemanythatareabletowritelearnedbooks，manythatareabletoleadarmies，andmanyalsothatareabletogovernkingdomsandempires；
　　butfewtherebethatcankeepahotel。"
　　AwordabouttheEuropeanhotelPORTIER。Heisamostadmirableinvention，amostvaluableconvenience。
　　Healwayswearsaconspicuousuniform；hecanalwaysbefoundwhenheiswanted，forhestickscloselytohispostatthefrontdoor；heisaspoliteasaduke；
　　hespeaksfromfourtotenlanguages；heisyoursuresthelpandrefugeintimeoftroubleorperplexity。
　　Heisnottheclerk，heisnotthelandlord；heranksabovetheclerk，andrepresentsthelandlord，whoisseldomseen。
　　Insteadofgoingtotheclerkforinformation，aswedoathome，yougototheportier。Itistheprideofouraveragehotelclerktoknownothingwhatever；itistheprideoftheportiertoknoweverything。Youasktheportieratwhathoursthetrainsleave——hetellsyouinstantly；
　　oryouaskhimwhoisthebestphysicianintown；orwhatisthehacktariff；orhowmanychildrenthemayorhas；