Thetimeshetooktomeetmylastremarkisnaturallynotrepresentedbythisprolongedglanceofmineattheamountofsuggestionthatjustthenhappenedtoreachmefromtheotherquarter。ItatalleventsdulycameoutbetweenusthatMrs。ServerwasthepersonIdidhaveonmymind;
andIrememberthatithadseemedtomeattheendofaminutetomattercomparativelylittlebywhichofus,afterall,shewasfirstdesignated。
Thereisperhapsanoddity——whichImustsetdowntomyemotionofthemoment——inmynotnowbeingabletosay。IshouldhavebeenhugelystartledifthesightofGilbertLonghadappearedtomakemycompanionsuddenlythinkofher;andreminiscenceofthatshockisnotoneofthoseIhavefoundmyselfstoringup。Whatdoesabidewithmeisthememoryofhow,afteralittle,myapprehensions,ofvariouskinds,dropped——mostofallunderthedeepeningconvictionthatLadyJohnwasnotawhitlessagreeablysuperficialthanIcouldevenattheworsthavedesired。Thepointestablishedformewasthat,whereasshepassedwithherselfandsomanyothersastakingineverything,shehadtakeninnothingwhateverthatitwastomypurposesheshouldnottake。Vast,truly,wastheworldofobservation,thatwecouldbothgleaninitsoactivelywithoutcrossingeachother’ssteps。Therewestoodclosetogether,yet——savefortheaccidentofafinaldash,asIshallnote——wereatoppositeendsofthefield。
It’samatterastowhichthetruthsoundspriggish,butIcan’thelpitif——yes,positively——itaffectedmeashopelesslyvulgartohavemadeanyinductionatallaboutourcompanionsBUTthoseIhaverecorded,insuchdetail,onbehalfofmyownenergy。Itwasbetterverilynottohavetouchedthem——whichwasthecaseofeveryoneelse——thantohavetakenthemup,withknowinggestures,onlytodosolittlewiththem。ThatIfelttheinterestofMayServer,thatMayServerfelttheinterestofpoorBriss,andthatmyfeelingincongruouslypresenteditselfasputtingup,philosophically,withtheinconvenienceofthelady’s——thesewere,infine,circumstancestowhichsheclearlyattachedideastoocommonplaceformetojudgeitusefultogatherthemin。Shereadallthings,LadyJohn,heavenknows,inthelightoftheuniversalpossibilityofa"relation";butmostoftherelationsthatshehaduphersleevecouldthrustthemselvesintomytheoryonlytofindthemselves,thenextminute,eliminated。Theywereofaliensubstance——insolubleinthewhole。GilbertLonghadforhernoconnection,inmydeepersense,withMrs。Server,norMrs。ServerwithGilbertLong,northehusbandwiththewife,northewifewiththehusband,norIwitheithermemberofeitherpair,noranyonewithanything,noranythingwithanyone。ShewasthusexactlywhereIwantedhertobe,for,frankly,Ibecameconscious,atthisclimaxofmyconclusion,thatIalittlewantedhertobewhereshebaddistinctlyendedbybetrayingtomethatherproperinspirationhadplacedher。IfIhavejustsaidthatmyapprehensions,ofvariouskinds,hadfinallyandcompletelysubsided,amoreexactstatementwouldperhapshavebeenthatfromthemomentoureyesmetovertheshowofourcoupleonthesofa,thequestionofanyothercalculablethingthanTHAThintofarelationhadsimplyknownitselfsuperseded。
Reducedtoitsplainestterms,thissketchofanimprovedacquaintancebetweenourcomradeswasdesignedtomakeLadyJohnthink。Itwasdesignedtomakemedonoless,butwethought,inevitably,ondifferentlines。
IhavealreadysorepresentedmysuccessionsofreflectionasrapidthatImaynotappeartoexceedinmentioningtheamusementandphilosophywithwhichIpresentlyperceiveditasunmistakablethatshebelievedinthedepthofhernewsounding。ItvisiblywentdownforhermuchnearertothebottomoftheseathananyplumbImightbequalifiedtodrop。PoorBrisswasinlovewithhiswife——that,whendriventothewall,shehadhadtorecognise;butshehadnothadtorecognisethathiswifewasinlovewithpoorBriss。Whatwasthentomilitateonthatlady’spart,againstadueconsciousness,attheendofasplendidsummerday,adayonwhichoccasionshadbeensomultiplied,ofanimpressionofaspecialorder?
Whatwastoprovethattherewas"nothinginit"whentwopersonssatlookingsoveryexceptionallyMUCHasiftherewereeverythinginit,asiftheywereforthefirsttime——thankstofineropportunity——doingeachotherfulljustice?Mustn’titindeedatthisjuncturehavecomealittleovermyfriendthatGracehadlentherselfwithuncommongoodnature,thepreviousafternoon,tothearrangementbywhich,onthewayfromtown,herladyship’sreputationwastoprofitbynoworsecompany,precisely,thanpoorBriss’s?
Mrs。Brissenden’sownwasobviouslynowfreetoprofitbymycompanion’sremembering——ifthefacthadreachedherears——thatMrs。BrissendenhadmeanwhilehadLongforanescort。Somuch,atleast,IsawLadyJohnasseeing,andmyvisionmaybetakenasrepresentingthedashIhaveconfessedmyselfasmakingfrommyendofourfield。Itoffersus,tobeexact,asjostlingeachotherjustsensibly——thoughionlymightfeelthebruise——inourbusinessofpickingupstraws。Ourviewoftheimprovedacquaintancewasonlyastraw,butasIstoopedtoitIfeltmyheadbumpwithmyneighbour’s。
Thismighthavemademeashamedofmyeagerness,but,oddlyenough,thateffectwasnottocome。Ifeltinfactthat,sincewehadevenpulledagainsteachotheratthestraw,Icarriedoff,inturningaway,thelargerpiece。
Chapter10
ItwasinthemomentofturningawaythatIsomehowlearned,withoutlooking,thatMrs。Brissendenhadalsoimmediatelymoved。Iwantedtolookandyethadmyreasonsfornotappearingtodoittooquickly;inspiteofwhichIfoundmyfriends,evenafteraninterval,stilldistinguishableasseparatingfortheavoidanceofcomment。GilbertLong,risingdirectlyafterhisassociate,hadalreadywalkedaway,butthisassociate,lingeringwhereshestoodandmeetingmewithit,availedherselfoftheoccasiontoshowthatshewishedtospeaktome。Suchwastheideashethrewoutonmyforthwithgoingtoher。"Forafewminutes——presently。"
"Doyoumeanalone?ShallIcomewithyou?"
Shehesitatedlongenoughformetojudgeherasatriflesurprisedatmybeingsoready——asifindeedshehadratherhopedIwouldn’tbe;
whichwouldhavebeenaneasypretexttohertogaintime。Infact,withafacenotquitelikethebravefaceshehadateachstephithertoshownme,yetunlikeinafashionIshouldcertainlynothavebeenabletodefineonthespot;withanexpression,inshort,thatstruckmeastakingrefugeinageneralreminderthatnotmyconvenience,butherown,wasinquestion,shereplied:"Oh,no——butbeforeit’stoolate。Afewminuteshence。Whereshallyoube?"sheaskedwithashade,asIimagined,ofawkwardness。Shehadlookedaboutasforsymptomsofacceptanceoftheevening’sendonthepartoftheladies,butwecouldbothseeourhostessotherwiseoccupied。
"Wedon’tgoupquiteyet。Inthemorning,"sheaddedaswithanafterthought,"Isupposeyouleaveearly。"
Idebated。"Ihaven’tthought。Andyou?"
Shelookedatmestraighternow。"Ihaven’tthoughteither。"Thenshewassilent,neitherturningawaynorcomingtothepoint,asitseemedtomeshemighthavedone,oftellingmewhatshehadinherhead。Ievenfanciedthathermomentarysilence,combinedwiththewayshefacedme——asifthatmightspeakforher——wasmeantforanassurancethat,whatevertrainsheshouldtakeinthemorning,shewouldarrangethatitshouldn’tbe,asithadbeenthedaybefore,thesameasmine。Ireallycaughtinherattitudeaworldofinvidiousreferencetothelittlejourneywehadalreadymadetogether。Shehadsympathies,shehadproprietiesthatimposedthemselves,andIwasnottothinkthatanylittlejourneywastobethoughtofagaininthoseconditions。Itcameovermethatthismighthavebeenquiteamatterdiscussedbyher,discussedandsettled,withherinterlocutoronthesofa。Itcameovermethatif,beforeourbreak—upforthenight,Ishouldhappenalsotohaveaminute’stalkwiththatinterlocutor,I
wouldequallygetfromitthesenseofanintentionunfavourabletoourdepartinginthesamegroup。AndIwonderedifthis,inthatcase,wouldn’taffectmeasmarkingachangebacktoLong’soldmanner——aforfeitureoftheconditions,whateverviewmightbetakenofthem,thathadmadehim,atPaddington,suddenlyshowhimselfassopossibleandsopleasant。IfHE"changedback,"wouldn’tGraceBrissendenchangebythesamelaw?AndifGraceBrissendendid,wouldn’therhusband?Wouldn’tthemiracletaketheformoftherejuvenationofthathusband?Wouldit,stillbythesametoken,taketheformofHERbecomingveryold,becomingifnotasoldasherhusband,atleastasold,asonemightsay,asherself?Wouldittaketheformofherbecomingdreadfullyplain——plainwiththeplainnessofmerestoutmaturityandartificialpreservation?Andifittookthisformfortheothers,whichwouldittakeforMayServer?Wouldshe,ataboundasmarkedastheirs,recoverherpresenceofmindandherlostequipment?
ThekindofsuspensethattheserisingquestionsproducedformesufferednaturallynodropafterMrs。Brisshadcuteverythingshortbyrustlingvoluminouslyaway。Shehadsomethingtosaytome,andyetshehadn’t;
shehadnothingtosay,andyetIfelthertohavealreadylaunchedherselfinastatement。TherewereotherpersonsIhadmadeuncomfortablewithoutatallintendingit,butsheatleasthadnotsufferedfromme,andIhadnowishthatsheshould;accordingtowhichshehadnopressuretofear。
Mysuspense,inspiteofthis,remained——indeedallthemoresensiblythatIhadsuddenlylostmydiscomfortonthesubjectofredeemingmypledgetoher。Ithadsomehowleftmeatastroke,mydreadofhercallingme,asbyouragreement,tosubmitinrespecttowhatwehadtalkedofastheidentificationofthewoman。ThatcallhadbeenwhatIlookedforfromheraftershehadseenmebreakwithLadyJohn;myfirstideaTHENcouldonlybethatImustcome,asitwere,totime。Itwasstrangethat,thenextminute,IshouldfindmyselfsurethatIwas,asImayputit,free;
itwasatalleventsindisputablethatasIstoodtherewatchingherrecedeandfairlystudying,inmypreoccupation,herhandsomeaffirmativebackandthespecialsweepofherlongdress——itwasindisputablethat,onsomeintimationIcould,attheinstant,recognisebutnotseize,myconsciousnesswasawareofhavingperformedafullrevolution。IfIwasfree,thatwaswhatIhadbeenonlysoshortatimebefore,whatIhadbeenasIdrove,inLondon,tothestation。Wasthisnowaforeknowledgethat,onthemorrow,indrivingaway,Ishouldfeelmyselfrestoredtothatblankness?Thestatelostwasthestateofexemptionfromintenseobsessions,andthestaterecoveredwouldthereforelogicallymatchit。Iftheforeknowledgehadthus,asbythestiroftheairfrommyfriend’swhiskofhertrain,descendeduponme,myliberationwasinamannerwhatIwasalreadytasting。YethowIalsofelt,withit,somethingofthethreatofachilltomycuriosity!
Thetasteofitsbeingallover,thatreallysublimesuccessofthestrainedvisioninwhichIhadbeenlivingforcrowdedhours——wasthisatastethatIwassureIshouldparticularlyenjoy?Markedenoughitwas,doubtless,thateveninthestressofperceivingmyselfbrokenwithIruefullyreflectedonallthemore,ontheeversomuch,Istillwantedtoknow!
Well,somethingofthisquantity,inanycase,wouldcome,sinceMrs。
Brissdidwanttospeaktome。Thesuspensethatremainedwithme,asI
haveindicated,wasthespecialfreshoneshehadjustproduced。Itfed,foralittle,positively,onthatsurveyofherfineretreatingpersontowhichIhaveconfessedthatmyeyesattachedthemselves。Thesesecondswerenaturallyfew,andyetmymemorygathersfromthemsomethingthatIcanonlycompare,initspresenteffect,tothescentofastrangeflowerpassedrapidlyundermynose。IseeminotherwordstorecallthatIreceivedinthatbrushtheveryliveliestimpressionthatmywholeadventurewastoyield——theimpressionthatismyreasonforspeakingofmyselfashavingatthejunctureinquestion"studied"Mrs。Brissenden’sback。Studyofaprofoundsortwouldappearneededintruthtoaccountforit。Itwasashandsomeandaffirmativethatsheatoncemetandevadedmyview,butwasnottheaffirmation(asdistinguishedfromthehandsomeness,whichwasamatterofstatureandmass,)fairlydownrightanddefiant?Didn’twhatIsawstrikemeassayingstraightatme,asfaraspossible,"Iamyoung——IamandIWILLbe;see,SEEifI’mnot;there,there,there!"——with"there’s"asinsistentandrhythmicalastheundulationsofherfleeingpresence,asthebejewellednodofheravertedbrow?Ifherfacehadnotbeenhidden,shouldInotpreciselyhavefoundmyselfrightinbelievingthatitlooked,exactly,forthoseinstants,dreadfullyolderthanithadeveryethadto?Theanswerideallycynicalwouldhavebeen:"Oh,anywomanofyourresourcescanlookyoungwithherbackturned!Butyou’vehadtoturnittomakethatproclamation。"Shepassedoutoftheroomproclaiming,andIdidstandtherealittledefeated,eventhoughwithherwordforanotherchanceather。Wasthiswordonethatshewouldkeep?Ihadgotoff——yes,toacertainty。Butsotoohadnotshe?
Naturally,atanyrate,Ididn’tstayplanted;andthoughitseemedlongitwasprobablyfornogreattimeafterthisthatIroamedinmyimpatience。
IwasdividedbetweenthediscourtesyofwishingtheladieswouldgotobedandtheapprehensionthatiftheydidtoosoongoImightyetloseeverything。WasMrs。Brisswaitingformoreprivacy,orwassheonlywaitingforacompleteescape?Ofcourse,evenwhileIaskedmyselfthat,IhadtorememberhowmuchIwastakingforgrantedonherpartinthewayofconsciousmotive。Still,ifshehadnotamotiveforescaping,whyhadshenothadone,fiveminutesbefore,forcomingtothepointwithme?
Thisinquirykeptmehoveringwhereshemightatanyinstantfindme,butthatwasnotinconsistentwithmypresentlypassing,likeherself,intoanotherroom。ThefirstoneIentered——thereweregreatchainsofthematNewmarch——showedmeoncemore,attheendoppositethedoor,theobjectthatalldayhadbeen,presentorabsent,mostinmyeyes,andthattherenowcouldbenofallacyinmyrecognising。Mrs。Server’sunquenchablelittlesmilehadneveryetbeensofarfromquenchedaswhenitrecognised,onitsownside,thatIhadjusthadtimetonotehowFordObertwas,forachange,takingitin。Thesetwofriendsofmineappearedtohavemovedtogether,afterthemusic,tothecornerinwhichIshouldnothavefeltitasmisrepresentingthemattertosaythatIsurprisedthem。Theyowednothingoftheharmonythatheldthem——unlikemyothercouple——totheconstraintofacommonseat;asmallglazedtable,areceptacleforminuteobjectsofprice,extendeditselfbetweenthemasifithadoffereditselfasanoccasionfortheirdrawingtowarditapairoflowchairs;buttheirunionhadneverthelesssuchanairofaccepteddurationasleditslightlytopuzzleme。ThiswouldhavebeenareasonthemorefornotinterruptingitevenhadInotpeculiarlywishedtorespectit。ItwasgristtomymillsomehowthatsomethingorotherhadhappenedasaconsequenceofwhichOberthadlosttheimpulsetorepeattomehisoddinvitationtointervene。
HegavemenonoticeasIpassed;thenoticewasallfromhiscompanion。
Itconstituted,Ifelt,onherpart,preciselyasmuchandpreciselyaslittleofaninvitationasithadconstitutedatthemoment——sopromptlyfollowingourarrival——ofmyfirstseeingthemlinked;whichisbutanotherwayofsayingthatnothinginMrs。Serverappearedtoacknowledgealapse。
Itwasnearlymidnight,butshewasagainunderarms;everythingconceivable——orperhapsratherinconceivable——hadpassedbetweenusbeforedinner,butherfacewasexquisiteagaininitsrepudiationofanyreference。
Anyreference,Isaw,wouldhavebeendifficulttoME,hadIunluckilybeenforcedtoapproachher。Whatwouldhavemadetheraredelicacyoftheproblemwasthatblanknessitselfwasthemostdirectreferenceofall。Ihad,however,asIpassedherby,acomprehensionasinwardasthatwithwhichIhadwatchedMrs。Briss’sretreat。"WHATshallIseewhenI
nextseeyou?"waswhatIhadmutelyaskedofMrs。Briss;but"GodgrantIdon’tseeYOUagainatall!"wastheprayersharplydeterminedinmyheartasIleftMrs。Serverbehindme。Ileftherbehindmeforever,buttheprayerhasnotbeenanswered。Ididseeheragain;Iseehernow;I
shallseeheralways;Ishallcontinuetofeelatmomentsinmyownfacialmusclesthedeadlylittleacheofherheroicgrin。Withthis,however,Iwasnotthentoreckon,andmysimplephilosophyofthemomentcouldbebuttogetoutoftheroom。Theresultofthatmovementwasthat,twominuteslater,atanotherdoorway,butopeningthistimeintoagreatcorridor,Ifoundmyselfarrestedbyacombinationthatshouldreallyhavecountedformeastheleastofmypreciousanomalies,butthat——asaccidenthappenedtoprotectme——Iwatched,solongasImight,withintensity。Ishouldinthisconnectiondescribemyeyesasyetagainengagingthelessscrutablesideofthehumanfigure,wereitnotthatpoorBriss’sback,nowpresentedtomebesidehiswife’s——fortheseweretheelementsofthecombination——hadhithertoseemedtomethemosteloquentofhisaspects。Itwaswhenhepresentedhisfacethathelooked,eachtime,older;butitwaswhenheshowedyou,frombehind,thesingularstoopofhisshoulders,thathelookedoldest。
TheyhadjustpassedthedoorwhenIemerged,andtheyreceded,ataslowpaceandwithakindofconfidentialnearness,downthelongavenueofthelobby。Herheadwasalwayshighandherhusband’salwayslow,sothatIcouldn’tbesure——itmighthavebeenonlymyfancy——thatthecontrastofthishabitwasmoremarkedinthemthanusual。IfIhadknownnothingaboutthemIshouldhavejustunimaginativelysaidthattalkwasallononesideandattentionallontheother。I,ofcourse,forthatmatter,DIDknownothingaboutthem;yetIrecallhowitcametome,asmyextemporisedshrewdnesshungintheirrear,thatImustn’tthinkanythingtoogrosslysimpleofwhatmightbetakingplacebetweenthem。Mypositionwas,inspiteofmyself,thatofmyhavingmasteredenoughpossibilitiestochoosefrom。Ifoneofthesemightbe——forherface,inspiteofthebackwardcockofherhead,wasturnedtohim——thatshewaslookinghertimeoflifestraightAThimandyetmakinglovetohimwithitashardasevershecould,soanotherwasthathehadbeenalreadysothoroughlygotbackintohandthatshehadnoneedofaskingfavours,thatshewasmoresplendidthanever,andthat,thesamepoorBrissasbeforehisbriefadventure,hewasonlyfeelingafreshinhissoul,asaresponsetoher,thegushofthesacredfount。Presumptuouschoiceastothesealternativesfailed,onmypart,intime,letmesay,toflower;itrosebeforemeintimethat,whatevermightbe,fortheexposedinstant,thedeepnoteoftheirencounter,onlyonethingconcernedmeinit:itsbeingwhollytheirownbusiness。
SoforthatIliberallyletitgo,passingintothecorridor,butproceedingintheoppositesenseandaimingatanissuewhichIjudgedIshouldreachbeforetheywouldturnintheirwalk。Ihadnot,however,reacheditbeforeIcaughttheclosingofthedoorfurthestfromme;atthesoundofwhichIlookedabouttofindtheBrissendensgone。Theyhadnotremainedforanotherturn,buthadtakentheircourse,evidently,backtotheprincipaldrawing—room,where,nolesspresumably,theprocessionoftheladiesbedwardwaseventhenforming。Mrs。Brisswouldfallstraightintoit,andIHAD
accordinglylosther。Ihatedtoappeartopursueher,lateinthedayasitmayappeartoaffirmthatIputmydignitybeforemycuriosity。
Freeagain,atallevents,towaitortowander,IlingeredaminutewhereIhadstopped——closetoawidewindow,asithappened,that,atthisendofthepassage,stoodopentothewarmdarknessandoverhung,fromnogreatheight,oneoftheterraces。Thenightwasmildandrich,andthoughthelightswithinwere,indeferencetothetemperature,nottoonumerous,Ifoundthebreathoftheouterairasuddencorrectivetothegrossnessofourlustreandthethicknessofourmedium,ourgeneralheavyhumanity。Ifeltitstastesweet,andwhileIleanedforrefreshmentonthesillIthoughtofmanythings。OneofthosethatpassedbeforemewasthewaythatNewmarchanditshospitalitiesweresacrificed,afterall,andmuchmorethansmallercircles,tomaterialfrustrations。Wewereallsofineandformal,andtheladiesinparticularatoncesolittleandsomuchclothed,sobeflouncedyetsodenuded,thatthesummerstarscalledtousinvain。Wehadignoredtheminourcrystalcage,amongourtinklinglamps;nomorefreereallytoalightthanifwehadbeendashinginalockedrailway—trainacrossalovelyland。IrememberaskingmyselfifImightn’tstilltakeaturnunderthem,andIrememberthatonappealingtomywatchforitssanctionIfoundmidnighttohavestruck。Thatthenwastheend,andmyonlyrealalternativeswerebedorthesmoking—room。ThedifficultywithbedwasthatIwasinnoconditiontosleep,andthedifficultyaboutrejoiningthemenwasthat——definitely,yes——therewasoneofthemIdesirednotagaintosee。IfeltitwithsharpnessasIleanedonthesill;IfeltitwithsadnessasIlookedatthestars;IfeltoncemorewhatIhadfeltonturningafinalbackfiveminutesbefore,sodesignedly,onMrs。Server。
IsawpoorBrissashehadjustmovedawayfromme,andIknew,asIhadknownintheothercase,thatmytroubledsensewouldfainfeelIhadpracticallydonewithhim。Itwouldbewell,foraughtIcoulddoFORhim,thatIshouldhaveseenthelastofhim。Whatremainedwithmefromthatvisionofhispacingtherewithhiswifewastheconvictionthathisfate,whateveritwas,heldhimfast。Itwouldn’tlethimgo,andallIcouldaskofitnowwasthatitshouldletME。IWOULDgo——Iwasgoing;ifIhadnothadtoaccepttheintervalofthenightIshouldindeedalreadyhavegone。Theadmonitionsofthatmoment——onlyconfirmed,Ihastentoadd,bywhatwasstilltocome——werethatIshouldcatchinthemorning,withenergy,anearliertraintotownthananyoneelsewaslikelytotake,andgetoffalonebyit,biddingfarewellforalongdaytoNewmarch。Ishouldbeinsmallhastetocomeback,forIshouldleavebehindmemytangledtheory,noloosethreadofwhichneedIeveragainpickup,innostraymeshofwhichneedmyfootagaintrip。Itwasonmywaytotheplace,infine,thatmyobsessionhadmetme,anditwasbyretracingthosestepsthatIshouldbeabletogetridofit。OnlyImustbreakoffsharp,mustescapeallremindersbyforswearingallreturns。
Thatwasverywell,butitwouldperhapshavebeenbetterstillifI
hadgonestraighttobed。InthatcaseISHOULDhavebrokenoffsharp——toosharptobecomeawareofsomethingthatkeptmeaminutelongeratthewindowandthathadtheinstanteffectofmakingmewonderif,intheinterestofobservation,Imightn’tsnapdowntheelectriclightthat,playingjustbehindme,mustshowwhereIstood。Iresistedthisimpulseand,withthethoughtthatmypositionwasinnowaycompromising,chancedbeingmyselfobserved。IpresentlysawmoreoverthatIwasreallynotinevidence:I
couldtakeinfreelywhatIhadatfirstnotbeensureof,theidentityofthefigurestationedjustwithinmyrange,butjustoutofthatofthelightprojectedfrommywindow。Oneofthemenofourcompanyhadcomeoutbyhimselfforastroll,andthemanwasGilbertLong。Hehadpaused,Imadeout,inhiswalk;hisbackwastothehouse,and,restingonthebalustradeoftheterracewithacigaretteinhislips,hehadgivenwaytoasenseofthefragrantgloom。HemovedsolittlethatIwassure——makingnoturnthatwouldhavemademedrawback;heonlysmokedslowlyinhisplaceandseemedaslostinthoughtasIwaslostinmyattentiontohim。
Iscarceknewwhatthistoldme;allIfeltwasthat,howeverslighttheincidentandsmalltheevidence,itessentiallyfittedin。Ithadformyimaginationavalue,formytheoryaprice,anditinfactconstitutedanimpressionundertheinfluenceofwhichthistheory,justimpatientlyshakenoff,perchedagainonmyshoulders。ItwasofthedeepestinteresttometoseeLonginsuchdetachment,insuchapparentconcentration。Thesethingsmarkedandpresentedhimmorethananyhadyetdone,andplacedhimmorethananyyetinrelationtoothermatters。Theyshowedhim,I
thought,asserious,hissituationasgrave。Icouldn’thavesaidwhattheyproved,butIwasasaffectedbythemasiftheyprovedeverything。
Theproofsimplyactedfromtheinstantthevisionofhimalonethereinthewarmdarknesswascaught。ItwasjustwithallthatwasinthebusinessthatheWAS,thathehadfitfullyneededtobe,alone。Nervousandrestlessafterseparating,undermyeyes,fromMrs。Briss,hehadwanderedofftothesmoking—room,asyetempty;HEdidn’tknowwhattodoeither,andwasincapableofbedandofsleep。Hehadobservedthecommunicationofthesmoking—roomwiththeterraceandhadcomeoutintotheair;thiswaswhatsuitedhim,and,withpausesandmeditations,much,possibly,bythistimetoturnover,heprolongedhissoftvigil。Butheatlastmoved,andI
foundmyselfstartled。Igaveupwatchingandretracedmycourse。Ifelt,nonetheless,fairlyhumiliated。Ithadtakenbutanotherturnofaneyetore—establishallmyconnections。
Ihadnot,however,gonetwentystepsbeforeImetFordObert,whohadenteredthecorridorfromtheotherendandwas,asheimmediatelyletmeknow,onhiswaytothesmoking—room。
"Iseveryonethendispersing?"
"Someofthemen,Ithink,"hesaid,"arefollowingme;others,Ibelieve——wonderfulcreatures!——havegonetoarraythemselves。Othersstill,doubtless,havegonetobed。"
"Andtheladies?"
"Oh,they’vefloatedaway——soaredaloft;tohighfinks——isn’tthattheidea?——intheirownquarters。Don’ttheytoo,atthesehours,practisesociabilitiesofsorts?Theymake,atanyrate,here,anextraordinarypictureonthatgreatstaircase。"
Ithoughtamoment。"IwishIhadseenit。ButIdoseeit。Yes——splendid。
Istheplacewhollyclearedofthem?"
"Save,itstruckme,sofarastheymayhaveleftsome’blackplumeasatoken’——"
第10章