Darrowhadalreadyguessedhertobeapersonwhowouldinstinctivelyopposeanysuggestedchanges,andthen,afteronehadexhaustedone’smainarguments,unexpectedlyyieldtosomesmallincidentalreason,andadheredoggedlytohernewposition。Sheboastedofherold—fashionedprejudices,talkedagooddealofbeingagrandmother,andmadeashowofreachinguptotapOwen’sshoulder,thoughhisheightwaslittlemorethanhers。
ShewasfullofasmallpaleprattleaboutthepeopleshehadseenatOuchy,astowhomshehadtheminutestatisticalinformationofagazetteer,withoutanyapparentsenseofpersonaldifferences。ShesaidtoDarrow:"TheytellmethingsareverymuchchangedinAmerica……OfcourseinmyyouththereWASaSociety"……Shehadnodesiretoreturnthereshewassurethestandardsmustbesodifferent。
"Therearecharmingpeopleeverywhere……andonemustalwayslookonthebestside……butwhenonehaslivedamongTraditionsit’sdifficulttoadaptone’sselftothenewideas……Thesedreadfulviewsofmarriage……it’ssohardtoexplainthemtomyFrenchrelations……I’mthankfultosayI
don’tpretendtounderstandthemmyself!ButYOU’REanEverard——ItoldAnnalastspringinLondonthatoneseesthatinstantly"……
ShewanderedofftothecookingandtheserviceofthehotelatOuchy。Sheattachedgreatimportancetogastronomicdetailsandtothemannersofhotelservants。There,too,therewasafallingoff,shesaid。"Idontknow,ofcourse;butpeoplesayit’sowingtotheAmericans。
Certainlymywaiterhadawayofslappingdownthedishes……theytellmethatmanyofthemareAnarchists……belongtoUnions,youknow。"SheappealedtoDarrow’sreportedknowledgeofeconomicconditionstoconfirmthisominousrumour。
AfterdinnerOwenLeathwanderedintothenextroom,wherethepianostood,andbegantoplayamongtheshadows。Hisstep—motherpresentlyjoinedhim,andDarrowsatalonewithMadamedeChantelle。
Shetookupthethreadofhermildchatandcarrieditonatthesamepaceasherknitting。Herconversationresembledthelargeloose—strandedwebbetweenherfingers:nowandthenshedroppedastitch,andwentonregardlessofthegapinthepattern。
Darrowlistenedwithalazysenseofwell—being。Inthementallulloftheafter—dinnerhour,withharmoniousmemoriesmurmuringthroughhismind,andthesofttintsandshadowyspacesofthefineoldroomcharminghiseyestoindolence,MadamedeChantelle’sdiscourseseemednotoutofplace。Hecouldunderstandthat,inthelongrun,theatmosphereofGivremightbesuffocating;butinhispresentmooditsverylimitationshadagrace。
Presentlyhefoundthechancetosayawordinhisownbehalf;andthereuponmeasuredtheadvantage,neverbeforeparticularlyapparenttohim,ofbeingrelatedtotheEverardsofAlbany。MadamedeChantelle’sconceptionofhernativecountry——towhichshehadnotreturnedsincehertwentiethyear——remindedhimofanancientgeographer’smapoftheHyperboreanregions。Itwasallafoggyblank,fromwhichonlyoneortwofixedoutlinesemerged;andoneofthesebelongedtotheEverardsofAlbany。
Thefactthattheyofferedsuchfirmfooting——formed,sotospeak,afriendlyterritoryonwhichtheopposingpowerscouldmeetandtreat——helpedhimthroughthetaskofexplainingandjustifyinghimselfasthesuccessorofFraserLeath。MadamedeChantellecouldnotresistsuchincontestableclaims。Sheseemedtofeelherson’shoveringanddiscriminatingpresence,andshegaveDarrowthesensethathewasbeingtestedandapprovedasalastadditiontotheLeathCollection。
Shealsomadehimawareoftheimmenseadvantagehepossessedinbelongingtothediplomaticprofession。ShespokeofthishumdrumcallingasaCareer,andgaveDarrowtounderstandthatshesupposedhimtohavebeenseducingDuchesseswhenhewasnotnegotiatingTreaties。Heheardagainquaintphraseswhichromanticoldladieshadusedinhisyouth:"Brilliantdiplomaticsociety……socialadvantages……theentreeeverywhere……nothingelseFORMSayoungmaninthesameway……"andshesighinglyaddedthatshecouldhavewishedhergrandsonhadchosenthesamepathtoglory。
Darrowprudentlysuppressedhisownviewoftheprofession,aswellasthefactthathehadadopteditprovisionally,andforreasonslesssocialthansociological;andthetalkpresentlypassedontothesubjectofhisfutureplans。
Hereagain,MadamedeChantelle’saweoftheCareermadeheradmitthenecessityofAnna’sconsentingtoanearlymarriage。ThefactthatDarrowwas"ordered"toSouthAmericaseemedtoputhimintheromanticlightofayoungsoldierchargedtoleadaforlornhope:shesighedandsaid:
"Atsuchmomentsawife’sdutyisatherhusband’sside。"
TheproblemofEffie’sfuturemighthavedisturbedher,sheadded;butsinceAnna,foratime,consentedtoleavethelittlegirlwithher,thatproblemwasatanyratedeferred。
Shespokeplaintivelyoftheresponsibilityoflookingafterhergranddaughter,butDarrowdivinedthatsheenjoyedtheflavourofthewordmorethanshefelttheweightofthefact。
"Effie’saperfectchild。She’smorelikemyson,perhaps,thandearOwen。She’llneverintentionallygivemetheleasttrouble。Butofcoursetheresponsibilitywillbegreat……I’mnotsureIshoulddaretoundertakeitifitwerenotforherhavingsuchatreasureofagoverness。HasAnnatoldyouaboutourlittlegoverness?Afteralltheworrywehadlastyear,withoneimpossiblecreatureafteranother,itseemsprovidential,justnow,tohavefoundher。
Atfirstwewereafraidshewastooyoung;butnowwe’vethegreatestconfidenceinher。Socleverandamusing——andSUCHalady!Idon’tsayhereducation’sallitmightbe……nodrawingorsinging……butonecan’thaveeverything;
andshespeaksItalian……"
MadamedeChantelle’sfondinsistenceonthelikenessbetweenEffieLeathandherfather,ifnotparticularlygratifyingtoDarrow,hadatleastincreasedhisdesiretoseethelittlegirl。ItgavehimanoddfeelingofdiscomforttothinkthatsheshouldhaveanyofthecharacteristicsofthelateFraserLeath:hehad,somehow,fantasticallypicturedherasthemysticaloffspringoftheearlytendernessbetweenhimselfandAnnaSummers。
HisencounterwithEffietookplacethenextmorning,onthelawnbelowtheterrace,wherehefoundher,intheearlysunshine,knockingaboutgolfballswithherbrother。
Almostatonce,andwithinfiniterelief,hesawthattheresemblanceofwhichMadamedeChantelleboastedwasmainlyexternal。Eventhatdiscoverywasslightlydistasteful,thoughDarrowwasforcedtoownthatFraserLeath’sstraight—featuredfairnesshadlentitselftotheproductionofapeculiarlyfinishedimageofchildishpurity。ButitwasevidentthatotherelementshadalsogonetothemakingofEffie,andthatanotherspiritsatinhereyes。Herserioushandshake,her"pretty"greeting,wereworthyoftheLeathtradition,andheguessedhertobemoremalleablethanOwen,moresubjecttotheinfluencesofGivre;buttheshoutwithwhichshereturnedtoherromphadinitthenoteofhermother’semancipation。
Hehadbeggedaholidayforher,andwhenMrs。Leathappearedheandsheandthelittlegirlwentoffforaramble。AnnawishedherdaughtertohavetimetomakefriendswithDarrowbeforelearninginwhatrelationhewastostandtoher;andthethreeroamedthewoodsandfieldstillthedistantchimeofthestable—clockmadethemturnbackforluncheon。
Effie,whowasattendedbyashaggyterrier,hadpickeduptwoorthreesubordinatedogsatthestable;andasshetrottedonaheadwithheryappingescort,AnnahungbacktothrowalookatDarrow。
"Yes,"heansweredit,"she’sexquisite……Oh,IseewhatI’maskingofyou!Butshe’llbequitehappyhere,won’tshe?
Andyoumustrememberitwon’tbeforlong……"
Annasighedheracquiescence。"Oh,she’llbehappyhere。
It’shernaturetobehappy。She’llapplyherselftoit,conscientiously,asshedoestoherlessons,andtowhatshecalls’beinggood’……Inaway,yousee,that’sjustwhatworriesme。Herideaof’beinggood’istopleasethepersonshe’swith——sheputsherwholedearlittlemindonit!Andso,ifevershe’swiththewrongperson————"
"Butsurelythere’snodangerofthatjustnow?MadamedeChantelletellsmethatyou’veatlastputyourhandonaperfectgoverness————"
Anna,withoutanswering,glancedawayfromhimtowardherdaughter。
"It’slucky,atanyrate,"Darrowcontinued,"thatMadamedeChantellethinksherso。"
"Oh,Ithinkveryhighlyofhertoo。"
"HighlyenoughtofeelquitesatisfiedtoleaveherwithEffie?"
"Yes。She’sjustthepersonforEffie。Only,ofcourse,oneneverknows……She’syoung,andshemighttakeitintoherheadtoleaveus……"Afterapausesheadded:"I’mnaturallyanxioustoknowwhatyouthinkofher。"
Whentheyenteredthehousethehandsofthehallclockstoodwithinafewminutesoftheluncheonhour。AnnaledEffieofftohaveherhairsmoothedandDarrowwanderedintotheoaksitting—room,whichhefounduntenanted。Thesunlaypleasantlyonitsbrownwalls,onthescatteredbooksandtheflowersinoldporcelainvases。Inhiseyeslingeredthevisionofthedark—hairedmothermountingthestairswithherlittlefairdaughter。Thecontrastbetweenthemseemedalasttouchofgraceinthecomplexharmonyofthings。Hestoodinthewindow,lookingoutatthepark,andbroodinginwardlyuponhishappiness……
HewasrousedbyEffie’svoiceandthescamperofherfeetdownthelongfloorsbehindhim。
"Hereheis!Hereheis!"shecried,flyingoverthethreshold。
Heturnedandstoopedtoherwithasmile,andasshecaughthishandheperceivedthatshewastryingtodrawhimtowardsomeonewhohadpausedbehindherinthedoorway,andwhomhesupposedtobehermother。
"HEREheis!"Effierepeated,withhersweetimpatience。
ThefigureinthedoorwaycameforwardandDarrow,lookingup,foundhimselffacetofacewithSophyViner。Theystoodstill,ayardortwoapart,andlookedateachotherwithoutspeaking。
Astheypausedthere,ashadowfellacrossoneoftheterracewindows,andOwenLeathsteppedwhistlingintotheroom。Inhisroughshootingclothes,withtheglowofexerciseunderhisfairskin,helookedextraordinarilylight—heartedandhappy。Darrow,withaquickside—glance,noticedthis,andperceivedalsothattheglowontheyouth’scheekhaddeepenedsuddenlytored。Hetoostoppedshort,andthethreestoodtheremotionlessforabarelyperceptiblebeatoftime。Duringitslapse,Darrow’seyeshadturnedbackfromOwen’sfacetothatofthegirlbetweenthem。Hehadthesensethat,whateverwasdone,itwashewhomustdoit,andthatitmustbedoneimmediately。Hewentforwardandheldouthishand。
"Howdoyoudo,MissViner?"
Sheanswered:"Howdoyoudo?"inavoicethatsoundedclearandnatural;andthenextmomentheagainbecameawareofstepsbehindhim,andknewthatMrs。Leathwasintheroom。
TohisstrainedsensesthereseemedtobeanotherjustmeasurablepausebeforeAnnasaid,lookinggailyaboutthelittlegroup:"HasOwenintroducedyou?ThisisEffie’sfriend,MissViner。"
Effie,stillhangingonhergoverness’sarm,pressedherselfcloserwithalittlegestureofappropriation;andMissVinerlaidherhandonherpupil’shair。
DarrowfeltthatAnna’seyeshadturnedtohim。
"IthinkMissVinerandIhavemetalready——severalyearsagoinLondon。"
"Iremember,"saidSophyViner,inthesameclearvoice。
"Howcharming!Thenwe’reallfriends。Butluncheonmustbeready,"saidMrs。Leath。
Sheturnedbacktothedoor,andthelittleprocessionmoveddownthetwolongdrawing—rooms,withEffiewaltzingonahead。
XV
MadamedeChantelleandAnnahadplanned,fortheafternoon,avisittoaremotelysituatedacquaintancewhomtheintroductionofthemotorhadtransformedintoaneighbour。
Effiewastopayforhermorning’sholidaybyanhourortwointheschool—room,andOwensuggestedthatheandDarrowshouldbetakethemselvestoadistantcovertinthedesultoryquestforpheasants。
Darrowwasnotanardentsportsman,butanypretextforphysicalactivitywouldhavebeenacceptableatthemoment;
andhewasgladbothtogetawayfromthehouseandnottobelefttohimself。
Whenhecamedownstairsthemotorwasatthedoor,andAnnastoodbeforethehallmirror,swathingherhatinveils。
Sheturnedatthesoundofhisstepandsmiledathimforalongfullmoment。
"I’dnoideayouknewMissViner,"shesaid,ashehelpedherintoherlongcoat。
"Itcamebacktome,luckily,thatI’dseenhertwoorthreetimesinLondon,severalyearsago。Shewassecretary,orsomethingofthesort,inthebackgroundofahousewhereI
usedtodine。"
Heloathedtheslightingindifferenceofthephrase,buthehaduttereditdeliberately,hadbeensecretlypractisingitallthroughtheinterminablehourattheluncheon—table。
Nowthatitwasspoken,heshiveredatitsnoteofcondescension。Insuchcasesonewasalmostsuretooverdo……ButAnnaseemedtonoticenothingunusual。
"Wasshereally?Youmusttellmeallaboutit——tellmeexactlyhowshestruckyou。I’msogladitturnsoutthatyouknowher。"
"’Know’isratherexaggerated:weusedtopasseachotheronthestairs。"
MadamedeChantelleandOwenappearedtogetherashespoke,andAnna,gatheringupherwraps,said:"You’lltellmeaboutthat,then。Tryandremembereverythingyoucan。"
Ashetrampedthroughthewoodsathisyounghost’sside,Darrowfeltthepartialrelieffromthoughtproducedbyexerciseandtheobligationtotalk。Littleashecaredforshooting,hehadthehabitofconcentrationwhichmakesitnaturalforamantothrowhimselfwhollyintowhateverbusinesshehasinhand,andthereweremomentsoftheafternoonwhenasuddenwhirrintheundergrowth,avividergleamagainstthehazybrownsandgreysofthewoods,wasenoughtofilltheforegroundofhisattention。Butallthewhile,behindthesevoluntarilyemphasizedsensations,hissecretconsciousnesscontinuedtorevolveonaloudwheelofthought。Foratimeitseemedtobesweepinghimthroughdeepgulfsofdarkness。Hissensationsweretooswiftandswarmingtobedisentangled。Hehadanalmostphysicalsenseofstrugglingforair,ofbattlinghelplesslywithmaterialobstructions,asthoughtherussetcovertthroughwhichhetrudgedweretheheartofamaleficentjungle……
Snatchesofhiscompanion’stalkdriftedtohimintermittentlythroughtheconfusionofhisthoughts。Hecaughteagerself—revealingphrases,andunderstoodthatOwenwassayingthingsabouthimself,perhapshintingindirectlyatthehopesforwhichDarrowhadbeenpreparedbyAnna’sconfidences。Hehadalreadybecomeawarethattheladlikedhim,andhadmeanttotakethefirstopportunityofshowingthathereciprocatedthefeeling。ButtheeffortoffixinghisattentiononOwen’swordswassogreatthatitleftnopowerformorethanthebriefestandmostinexpressivereplies。
YoungLeath,itappeared,feltthathehadreachedaturning—pointinhiscareer,aheightfromwhichhecouldimpartiallysurveyhispastprogressandprojectedendeavour。Atonetimehehadhadmusicalandliteraryyearnings,visionsofdesultoryartisticindulgence;butthesehadoflatebeensupersededbytheresolutedeterminationtoplungeintopracticallife。
"Idon’twant,yousee,"Darrowheardhimexplaining,"todriftintowhatmygrandmother,poordear,istryingtomakeofme:anadjunctofGivre。Idon’twant——hangitall!——toslipintocollectingsensationsasmyfathercollectedsnuff—boxes。IwantEffietohaveGivre——it’smygrandmother’s,youknow,todoasshelikeswith;andI’veunderstoodlatelythatifitbelongedtomeitwouldgraduallygobblemeup。Iwanttogetoutofit,intoalifethat’sbiganduglyandstruggling。IfIcanextractbeautyoutofTHAT,somuchthebetter:that’llprovemyvocation。ButIwanttoMAKEbeauty,notbedrownedintheready—made,likeabeeinapotofhoney。"
Darrowknewthathewasbeingappealedtoforcorroborationoftheseviewsandforencouragementinthecoursetowhichtheypointed。Tohisownearshisanswerssoundednowcurt,nowirrelevant:atonemomentheseemedchillinglyindifferent,atanotherheheardhimselflaunchingoutonafloodofhazydiscursiveness。HedarednotlookatOwen,forfearofdetectingthelad’ssurpriseatthesesenselesstransitions。Andthroughtheconfusionofhisinwardstrugglesandoutwardloquacityheheardtheceaselesstrip—
hammerbeatofthequestion:"WhatinGod’snameshallI
do?"……
TogetbacktothehousebeforeAnna’sreturnseemedhismostpressingnecessity。Hedidnotclearlyknowwhy:hesimplyfeltthatheoughttobethere。AtonemomentitoccurredtohimthatMissVinermightwanttospeaktohimalone——andagain,inthesameflash,thatitwouldprobablybethelastthingshewouldwant……Atanyrate,hefeltheoughttotrytospeaktoHER;oratleastbepreparedtodoso,ifthechanceshouldoccur……
Finally,towardfour,hetoldhiscompanionthathehadsomelettersonhismindandmustgetbacktothehouseanddespatchthembeforetheladiesreturned。HeleftOwenwiththebeaterandwalkedontotheedgeofthecovert。Attheparkgateshestruckobliquelythroughthetrees,followingagrassavenueattheendofwhichhehadcaughtaglimpseoftheroofofthechapel。Agreyhazehadblottedoutthesunandthestillairclungabouthimtepidly。Atlengththehouse—frontraisedbeforehimitsexpanseofdamp—
silveredbrick,andhewasstruckafreshbythehighdecorumofitscalmlinesandsoberlymassedsurfaces。Itmadehimfeel,intheturbidcoilofhisfearsandpassions,likeamuddytrampforcinghiswayintosomepuresequesteredshrine……
Byandbye,heknew,heshouldhavetothinkthecomplexhorrorout,slowly,systematically,bitbybit;butforthemomentitwaswhirlinghimaboutsofastthathecouldjustclutchatitssharpspikesandbetossedoffagain。Onlyonedefiniteimmediatefactstuckinhisquiveringgrasp。
Hemustgivethegirleverychance——mustholdhimselfpassivetillshehadtakenthem……
InthecourtEffieranuptohimwithherleapingterrier。
"Iwascomingouttomeetyou——youandOwen。MissVinerwascoming,too,andthenshecouldn’tbecauseshe’sgotsuchaheadache。I’mafraidIgaveittoherbecauseIdidmydivisionsodisgracefully。It’stoobad,isn’tit?Butwon’tyouwalkbackwithme?Nursewon’tmindtheleastbit;
she’dsomuchrathergointotea。"
Darrowexcusedhimselflaughingly,onthepleathathehadletterstowrite,whichwasmuchworsethanhavingaheadache,andnotinfrequentlyresultedinone。
"Oh,thenyoucangoandwritetheminOwen’sstudy。That’swheregentlemenalwayswritetheirletters。"
SheflewonwithherdogandDarrowpursuedhiswaytothehouse。Effie’ssuggestionstruckhimasuseful。Hehadpicturedhimselfasvaguelydriftingaboutthedrawing—
rooms,andhadperceivedthedifficultyofMissViner’shavingtoseekhimthere;butthestudy,asmallroomontherightofthehall,wasineasysightfromthestaircase,andsosituatedthattherewouldbenothingmarkedinhisbeingfoundthereintalkwithher。
Hewentin,leavingthedooropen,andsatdownatthewriting—table。Theroomwasafriendlyheterogeneousplace,theonerepository,inthewell—orderedandamply—servantedhouse,ofallitsunclassifiedoddsandends:Effie’scroquet—boxandfishingrods,Owen’sgunsandgolf—sticksandracquets,hisstep—mother’sflower—basketsandgardeningimplements,evenMadamedeChantelle’sembroideryframe,andthebacknumbersoftheCatholicWeekly。Theearlytwilighthadbeguntofall,andpresentlyaslantingrayacrossthedeskshowedDarrowthataservantwascomingacrossthehallwithalamp。Hepulledoutasheetofnote—paperandbegantowriteatrandom,whiletheman,entering,putthelampathiselbowandvaguely"straightened"theheapofnewspaperstossedonthedivan。ThenhisstepsdiedawayandDarrowsatleaninghisheadonhislockedhands。
Presentlyanotherstepsoundedonthestairs,waveredamomentandthenmovedpastthethresholdofthestudy。
Darrowgotupandwalkedintothehall,whichwasstillunlighted。InthedimnesshesawSophyVinerstandingbythehalldoorinherhatandjacket。Shestoppedatsightofhim,herhandonthedoor—bolt,andtheystoodforasecondwithoutspeaking。
"HaveyouseenEffie?"shesuddenlyasked。"Shewentouttomeetyou。"
"SheDIDmeetme,justnow,inthecourt。She’sgoneontojoinherbrother。"
Darrowspokeasnaturallyashecould,buthisvoicesoundedtohisownearslikeanamateuractor’sina"light"part。
MissViner,withoutanswering,drewbackthebolt。Hewatchedherinsilenceasthedoorswungopen;thenhesaid:
"Shehashernursewithher。Shewon’tbelong。"
Shestoodirresolute,andheadded:"Iwaswritinginthere——won’tyoucomeandhavealittletalk?Everyone’sout。"
Thelastwordsstruckhimasnotwell—chosen,buttherewasnotimetochoose。Shepausedasecondlongerandthencrossedthethresholdofthestudy。Atluncheonshehadsatwithherbacktothewindow,andbeyondnotingthatshehadgrownalittlethinner,andhadlesscolourandvivacity,hehadseennochangeinher;butnow,asthelamplightfellonherface,itswhitenessstartledhim。
"Poorthing……poorthing……whatinheaven’snamecanshesuppose?"hewondered。
"Dositdown——Iwanttotalktoyou,"hesaidandpushedachairtowardher。
Shedidnotseemtoseeit,or,ifshedid,shedeliberatelychoseanotherseat。Hecamebacktohisownchairandleanedhiselbowsontheblotter。Shefacedhimfromthefarthersideofthetable。
"Youpromisedtoletmehearfromyounowandthen,"hebeganawkwardly,andwithasharpsenseofhisawkwardness。
Afaintsmilemadeherfacemoretragic。"DidI?Therewasnothingtotell。I’vehadnohistory——likethehappycountries……"
Hewaitedamomentbeforeasking:"YouAREhappyhere?"
"IWAS,"shesaidwithafaintemphasis。
"Whydoyousay’was’?You’resurelynotthinkingofgoing?
Therecan’tbekinderpeopleanywhere。"Darrowhardlyknewwhathewassaying;butheranswercametohimwithdeadlydefiniteness。
"IsupposeitdependsonyouwhetherIgoorstay。"
"Onme?"HestaredatheracrossOwen’sscatteredpapers。
"GoodGod!Whatcanyouthinkofme,tosaythat?"
Themockeryofthequestionflashedbackathimfromherwretchedface。Shestoodup,wanderedaway,andleanedaninstantinthedarkeningwindow—frame。Fromtheresheturnedtoflingbackathim:"Don’timagineI’mtheleastbitsorryforanything!"
Hesteadiedhiselbowsonthetableandhidhisfaceinhishands。Itwasharder,oh,damnablyharder,thanhehadexpected!Arguments,expedients,palliations,evasions,allseemedtobeslippingawayfromhim:hewasleftfacetofacewiththemeregracelessfactofhisinferiority。Heliftedhisheadtoaskatrandom:"You’vebeenhere,then,eversince?"
"SinceJune;yes。ItturnedoutthattheFarlowswerehuntingforme——allthewhile——forthis。"
Shestoodfacinghim,herbacktothewindow,evidentlyimpatienttobegone,yetwithsomethingstilltosay,orthatsheexpectedtohearhimsay。Thesenseofherexpectancybenumbedhim。Whatinheaven’snamecouldhesaytoherthatwasnotanoffenseoramockery?
"Yourideaofthetheatre——yougavethatupatonce,then?"
"Oh,thetheatre!"Shegavealittlelaugh。"Icouldn’twaitforthetheatre。Ihadtotakethefirstthingthatoffered;Itookthis。"
Hepushedonhaltingly:"I’mglad——extremelyglad——you’rehappyhere……I’dcountedonyourlettingmeknowiftherewasanythingIcoulddo……Thetheatre,now——ifyoustillregretit——ifyou’renotcontentedhere……IknowpeopleinthatlineinLondon——I’mcertainIcanmanageitforyouwhenIgetback————"
Shemoveduptothetableandleanedoverittoask,inavoicethatwashardlyaboveawhisper:"ThenyouDOwantmetoleave?Isthatit?"
Hedroppedhisarmswithagroan。"Goodheavens!Howcanyouthinksuchthings?Atthetime,youknow,IbeggedyoutoletmedowhatIcould,butyouwouldn’thearofit……andeversinceI’vebeenwantingtobeofuse——todosomething,anything,tohelpyou……"
Sheheardhimthrough,motionless,withoutaquiveroftheclaspedhandssherestedontheedgeofthetable。
"Ifyouwanttohelpme,then——youcanhelpmetostayhere,"shebroughtoutwithlow—tonedintensity。
Throughthestillnessofthepausewhichfollowed,thebrayofamotor—hornsoundedfardownthedrive。Instantlysheturned,withalastwhitelookathim,andfledfromtheroomandupthestairs。Hestoodmotionless,benumbedbytheshockofherlastwords。Shewasafraid,then——afraidofhim——sickwithfearofhim!Thediscoverybeathimdowntoalowerdepth……
Themotor—hornsoundedagain,closeathand,andheturnedandwentuptohisroom。Hisletter—writingwasasufficientpretextfornotimmediatelyjoiningthepartyaboutthetea—table,andhewantedtobealoneandtrytoputalittleorderintohistumultuousthinking。
Upstairs,theroomheldouttheintimatewelcomeofitslampandfire。Everythinginitexhaledthesamesenseofpeaceandstabilitywhich,twoeveningsbefore,hadlulledhimtocomplacentmeditation。Hisarmchairagaininvitedhimfromthehearth,buthewastooagitatedtositstill,andwithsunkheadandhandsclaspedbehindhisbackhebegantowanderupanddowntheroom。
HisfiveminuteswithSophyVinerhadflashedstrangelightsintotheshadowycornersofhisconsciousness。Thegirl’sabsolutecandour,herhardardenthonesty,wasforthemomentthevividestpointinhisthoughts。Hewonderedanew,ashehadwonderedbefore,atthewayinwhichtheharshdisciplineoflifehadstrippedheroffalsesentimentwithoutlayingtheleasttouchonherpride。Whentheyhadparted,fivemonthsbefore,shehadquietlybutdecidedlyrejectedallhisoffersofhelp,eventothesuggestionofhistryingtofurtherhertheatricalaims:shehadmadeitclearthatshewishedtheirbriefalliancetoleavenotraceontheirlivessavethatofitsownsmilingmemory。Butnowthattheywereunexpectedlyconfrontedinasituationwhichseemed,toherterrifiedfancy,toputherathismercy,herfirstimpulsewastodefendherrighttotheplaceshehadwon,andtolearnasquicklyaspossibleifhemeanttodisputeit。Whilehehadpicturedherasshrinkingawayfromhiminatremorofself—effacementshehadwatchedhismovements,madesureofheropportunity,andcomestraightdownto"haveitout"withhim。Hewassostruckbythefranknessandenergyoftheproceedingthatforamomenthelostsightoftheviewofhisowncharacterimpliedinit。
第9章