Asforherstep—mother,MarynotunnaturallyflewintoapassionthemomentIspokeofher。Shekeepsaneating—houseatHammersmith,andcouldhavegivenMarygoodemploymentinit;butsheseemsalwaystohavehatedher,andtohavemadeherlifesowretchedwithabuseandillusagethatshehadnorefugeleftbuttogoawayfromhome,anddoherbesttomakealivingforherself。Herhusband(Mary’sfather)appearstohavebehavedbadlytoher,and,afterhisdeath,shetookthewickedcourseofrevengingherselfonherstep—daughter。Ifelt,afterthis,thatitwasimpossibleMarycouldgoback,andthatitwasthehardnecessityofherposition,asitisofmine,thatsheshouldstruggleontomakeadecentlivelihoodwithoutassistancefromanyofherrelations。Iconfessedasmuchasthistoher;butI
addedthatIwouldtrytogetheremploymentwiththepersonsforwhomIwork,whopayhigherwages,andshowalittlemoreindulgencetothoseunderthemthanthepeopletowhomsheisnowobligedtolookforsupport。
IspokemuchmoreconfidentlythanIfeltaboutbeingabletodothis,andlefther,asIthought,inbetterspiritsthanusual。
Shepromisedtobebackto—nighttoteaatnineo’clock,andnowitisnearlyoneinthemorning,andsheisnothomeyet。IfitwasanyothergirlIshouldnotfeeluneasy,forIshouldmakeupmymindthattherewasextraworktobedoneinahurry,andthattheywerekeepingherlate,andIshouldgotobed。ButMaryissounfortunateineverythingthathappenstoher,andherownmelancholytalkaboutherselfkeepshangingonmymindso,thatI
havefearsonheraccountwhichwouldnotdistressmeaboutanyoneelse。Itseemsinexcusablysillytothinksuchathing,muchmoretowriteitdown;butIhaveakindofnervousdreaduponmethatsomeaccident——
Whatdoesthatloudknockingatthestreetdoormean?Andthosevoicesandheavyfootstepsoutside?Somelodgerwhohaslosthiskey,Isuppose。Andyet,myheart——WhatacowardIhavebecomeallofasudden!
Moreknockingandloudervoices。Imustruntothedoorandseewhatitis。Oh,Mary!Mary!IhopeIamnotgoingtohaveanotherfrightaboutyou,butIfeelsadlylikeit。
March8th。
March9th。
March10th。
March11th。Ohme!allthetroublesIhaveeverhadinmylifeareasnothingtothetroubleIaminnow。ForthreedaysIhavenotbeenabletowriteasinglelineinthisjournal,whichI
havekeptsoregularlyeversinceIwasagirl。ForthreedaysI
havenotoncethoughtofRobert——I,whoamalwaysthinkingofhimatothertimes。
Mypoor,dear,unhappyMary!theworstIfearedforyouonthatnightwhenIsatupalonewasfarbelowthedreadfulcalamitythathasreallyhappened。HowcanIwriteaboutit,withmyeyesfulloftearsandmyhandallofatremble?Idon’tevenknowwhyIamsittingdownatmydesknow,unlessitishabitthatkeepsmetomyoldevery—daytask,inspiteofallthegriefandfearwhichseemtounfitmeentirelyforperformingit。
Thepeopleofthehousewereasleepandlazyonthatdreadfulnight,andIwasthefirsttoopenthedoor。Never,nevercouldI
describeinwriting,orevensayinplaintalk,thoughitissomucheasier,whatIfeltwhenIsawtwopolicemencomein,carryingbetweenthemwhatseemedtometobeadeadgirl,andthatgirlMary!Icaughtholdofher,andgaveascreamthatmusthavealarmedthewholehouse;forfrightenedpeoplecamecrowdingdownstairsintheirnight—dresses。Therewasadreadfulconfusionandnoiseofloudtalking,butIheardnothingandsawnothingtillIhadgotherintomyroomandlaidonmybed。Istoopeddown,frantic—like,tokissher,andsawanawfulmarkofablowonthelefttemple,andfelt,atthesametime,afeebleflutterofherbreathonmycheek。Thediscoverythatshewasnotdeadseemedtogivemebackmysensesagain。Itoldoneofthepolicemenwherethenearestdoctorwastobefound,andsatdownbythebedsidewhilehewasgone,andbathedherpoorheadwithcoldwater。Sheneveropenedhereyes,ormoved,orspoke;butshebreathed,andthatwasenoughforme,becauseitwasenoughforlife。
Thepolicemanleftintheroomwasabig,thick—voiced,pompousman,withahorribleunfeelingpleasureinhearinghimselftalkbeforeanassemblyoffrightened,silentpeople。Hetoldushowhehadfoundher,asifhehadbeentellingastoryinatap—room,andbeganwithsaying:"Idon’tthinktheyoungwomanwasdrunk。"
Drunk!MyMary,whomighthavebeenabornladyforallthespiritssheevertouched——drunk!Icouldhavestruckthemanforutteringtheword,withherlying——poorsufferingangel——sowhite,andstill,andhelplessbeforehim。Asitwas,Igavehimalook,buthewastoostupidtounderstandit,andwentdroningon,sayingthesamethingoverandoveragaininthesamewords。
Andyetthestoryofhowtheyfoundherwas,likeallthesadstoriesIhaveeverheardtoldinreallife,sovery,veryshort。
Theyhadjustseenherlyingalongonthecurbstoneafewstreetsoff,andhadtakenhertothestation—house。Thereshehadbeensearched,andoneofmycards,thatIgavetoladieswhopromisemeemployment,hadbeenfoundinherpocket,andsotheyhadbroughthertoourhouse。Thiswasallthemanreallyhadtotell。Therewasnobodynearherwhenshewasfound,andnoevidencetoshowhowtheblowonhertemplehadbeeninflicted。
Whatatimeitwasbeforethedoctorcame,andhowdreadfultohearhimsay,afterhehadlookedather,thathewasafraidallthemedicalmenintheworldcouldbeofnousehere!Hecouldnotgethertoswallowanything;andthemorehetriedtobringherbacktohersensesthelesschancethereseemedofhissucceeding。Heexaminedtheblowonhertemple,andsaidhethoughtshemusthavefallendowninafitofsomesort,andstruckherheadagainstthepavement,andsohavegivenherbrainwhathewasafraidwasafatalshake。Iaskedwhatwastobedoneifsheshowedanyreturntosenseinthenight。Hesaid:"Sendformedirectly";andstoppedforalittlewhileafterwardstrokingherheadgentlywithhishand,andwhisperingtohimself:"Poorgirl,soyoungandsopretty!"Ihadfelt,someminutesbefore,asifIcouldhavestruckthepoliceman,andI
feltnowasifIcouldhavethrownmyarmsroundthedoctor’sneckandkissedhim。Ididputoutmyhandwhenhetookuphishat,andheshookitinthefriendliestway。"Don’thope,mydear,"hesaid,andwentout。
Therestofthelodgersfollowedhim,allsilentandshocked,excepttheinhumanwretchwhoownsthehouseandlivesinidlenessonthehighrentshewringsfrompoorpeoplelikeus。
"She’sthreeweeksinmydebt,"sayshe,withafrownandanoath。"Wherethedevilismymoneytocomefromnow?"Brute!
brute!
Ihadalongcryalonewithherthatseemedtoeasemyheartalittle。ShewasnottheleastchangedforthebetterwhenIhadwipedawaythetearsandcouldseeherclearlyagain。Itookupherrighthand,whichlaynearesttome。Itwastightclinched。I
triedtounclaspthefingers,andsucceededafteralittletime。
SomethingdarkfelloutofthepalmofherhandasIstraightenedit。
Ipickedthethingup,andsmootheditout,andsawthatitwasanendofaman’scravat。
Averyold,rotten,dingystripofblacksilk,withthinlilaclines,allblurredanddeadenedwithdirt,runningacrossandacrossthestuffinasortoftrellis—workpattern。Thesmallendofthecravatwashemmedintheusualway,buttheotherendwasalljagged,asifthemorseltheninmyhandshadbeentornoffviolentlyfromtherestofthestuff。AchillranallovermeasIlookedatit;forthatpoor,stained,crumpledendofacravatseemedtobesayingtome,asthoughithadbeeninplainwords:
"Ifshedies,shehascometoherdeathbyfoulmeans,andIamthewitnessofit。"
Ihadbeenfrightenedenoughbefore,lestsheshoulddiesuddenlyandquietlywithoutmyknowingit,whilewewerealonetogether;
butIgotintoaperfectagonynow,forfearthislastworstafflictionshouldtakemebysurprise。Idon’tsupposefiveminutespassedallthatwofulnightthroughwithoutmygettingupandputtingmycheekclosetohermouth,tofeelifthefaintbreathsstillflutteredoutofit。Theycameandwentjustthesameasatfirst,thoughthefrightIwasinoftenmademefancytheywerestilledforever。
JustasthechurchclockswerestrikingfourIwasstartledbyseeingtheroomdooropen。ItwasonlyDustySal(astheycallherinthehouse),themaid—of—all—work。Shewaswrappedupintheblanketoffherbed;herhairwasalltumbledoverherface,andhereyeswereheavywithsleepasshecameuptothebedsidewhereIwassitting。
"I’vetwohoursgoodbeforeIbegintowork,"saysshe,inherhoarse,drowsyvoice,"andI’vecometositupandtakemyturnatwatchingher。Youlaydownandgetsomesleepontherug。
Here’smyblanketforyou。Idon’tmindthecold——itwillkeepmeawake。"
"Youareverykind——very,verykindandthoughtful,Sally,"saysI,"butIamtoowretchedinmymindtowantsleep,orrest,ortodoanythingbutwaitwhereIam,andtryandhopeforthebest。"
"ThenI’llwait,too,"saysSally。"Imustdosomething;ifthere’snothingtodobutwaiting,I’llwait。"
Andshesatdownoppositemeatthefootofthebed,anddrewtheblanketcloseroundherwithashiver。
"Afterworkingsohardasyoudo,I’msureyoumustwantallthelittlerestyoucanget,"saysI。
"Exceptingonlyyou,"saysSally,puttingherheavyarmveryclumsily,butverygentlyatthesametime,roundMary’sfeet,andlookinghardatthepale,stillfaceonthepillow。
"Exceptingyou,she’stheonlysoulinthishouseasneversworeatme,orgivemeahardwordthatIcanremember。WhenyoumadepuddingsonSundays,andgiveherhalf,shealwaysgivemeabit。
Therestof’emcallsmeDustySal。Exceptingonlyyou,again,shealwayscalledmeSally,asifsheknowedmeinafriendlyway。Iain’tnogoodhere,butIain’tnoharm,neither;andI
shalltakemyturnatthesittingup——that’swhatIshalldo!"
ShenestledherheaddowncloseatMary’sfeetasshespokethosewords,andsaidnomore。Ionceortwicethoughtshehadfallenasleep,butwheneverIlookedatherherheavyeyeswerealwayswideopen。Sheneverchangedherpositionaninchtillthechurchclocksstrucksix;thenshegaveonelittlesqueezetoMary’sfeetwithherarm,andshuffledoutoftheroomwithoutaword。A
minuteortwoafter,Iheardherdownbelow,lightingthekitchenfirejustasusual。
Alittlelaterthedoctorsteppedoverbeforehisbreakfast—timetoseeiftherehadbeenanychangeinthenight。Heonlyshookhisheadwhenhelookedatherasiftherewasnohope。HavingnobodyelsetoconsultthatIcouldputtrustin,Ishowedhimtheendofthecravat,andtoldhimofthedreadfulsuspicionthathadariseninmymindwhenIfounditinherhand。
"Youmustkeepitcarefully,andproduceitattheinquest,"hesaid。"Idon’tknow,though,thatitislikelytoleadtoanything。Thebitofstuffmayhavebeenlyingonthepavementnearher,andherhandmayhaveunconsciouslyclutcheditwhenshefell。Wasshesubjecttofainting—fits?"
"Notmoreso,sir,thanotheryounggirlswhoarehard—workedandanxious,andweaklyfrompoorliving,"Ianswered。
"Ican’tsaythatshemaynothavegotthatblowfromafall,"
thedoctorwenton,lockingathertempleagain。"Ican’tsaythatitpresentsanypositiveappearanceofhavingbeeninflictedbyanotherperson。Itwillbeimportant,however,toascertainwhatstateofhealthshewasinlastnight。Haveyouanyideawhereshewasyesterdayevening?"
Itoldhimwhereshewasemployedatwork,andsaidIimaginedshemusthavebeenkepttherelaterthanusual。
"Ishallpasstheplacethismorning"saidthedoctor,"ingoingmyroundsamongmypatients,andI’lljuststepinandmakesomeinquiries。"
Ithankedhim,andweparted。Justashewasclosingthedoorhelookedinagain。
"Wassheyoursister?"heasked。
"No,sir,onlymydearfriend。"
Hesaidnothingmore,butIheardhimsighasheshutthedoorsoftly。Perhapsheoncehadasisterofhisown,andlosther?
PerhapsshewaslikeMaryintheface?
Thedoctorwashoursgoneaway。Ibegantofeelunspeakablyforlornandhelpless,somuchsoaseventowishselfishlythatRobertmightreallyhavesailedfromAmerica,andmightgettoLondonintimetoassistandconsoleme。
NolivingcreaturecameintotheroombutSally。Thefirsttimeshebroughtmesometea;thesecondandthirdtimessheonlylookedintoseeiftherewasanychange,andglancedhereyetowardthebed。Ihadneverknownhersosilentbefore;itseemedalmostasifthisdreadfulaccidenthadstruckherdumb。Ioughttohavespokentoher,perhaps,buttherewassomethinginherfacethatdauntedme;and,besides,thefeverofanxietyIwasinbegantodryupmylips,asiftheywouldneverbeabletoshapeanywordsagain。Iwasstilltormentedbythatfrightfulapprehensionofthepastnight,thatshewoulddiewithoutmyknowingit——diewithoutsayingonewordtoclearuptheawfulmysteryofthisblow,andsetthesuspicionsatrestforeverwhichIstillfeltwhenevermyeyesfellontheendoftheoldcravat。
Atlastthedoctorcameback。
"Ithinkyoumaysafelyclearyourmindofanydoubtstowhichthatbitofstuffmayhavegivenrise,"hesaid。"Shewas,asyousupposed,detainedlatebyheremployers,andshefaintedinthework—room。Theymostunwiselyandunkindlylethergohomealone,withoutgivingheranystimulant,assoonasshecametohersensesagain。Nothingismoreprobable,underthesecircumstances,thanthatsheshouldfaintasecondtimeonherwayhere。Afallonthepavement,withoutanyfriendlyarmtobreakit,mighthaveproducedevenaworseinjurythantheinjurywesee。Ibelievethattheonlyillusagetowhichthepoorgirlwasexposedwastheneglectshemetwithinthework—room。"
"Youspeakveryreasonably,Iown,sir,"saidI,notyetquiteconvinced。"Still,perhapsshemay——"
"Mypoorgirl,Itoldyounottohope,"saidthedoctor,interruptingme。HewenttoMary,andlifteduphereyelids,andlookedathereyeswhilehespoke;thenadded,"Ifyoustilldoubthowshecamebythatblow,donotencouragetheideathatanywordsofherswilleverenlightenyou。Shewillneverspeakagain。"
"Notdead!Oh,sir,don’tsayshe’sdead!"
"Sheisdeadtopainandsorrow——deadtospeechandrecognition。
Thereismoreanimationinthelifeofthefeeblestinsectthatfliesthaninthelifethatisleftinher。Whenyoulookathernow,trytothinkthatsheisinheaven。ThatisthebestcomfortIcangiveyou,aftertellingthehardtruth。"
Ididnotbelievehim。Icouldnotbelievehim。Solongasshebreathedatall,solongIwasresolvedtohope。Soonafterthedoctorwasgone,Sallycameinagain,andfoundmelistening(ifImaycallitso)atMary’slips。Shewenttowheremylittlehand—glasshangsagainstthewall,tookitdown,andgaveittome。
"Seeifthebreathmarksit,"shesaid。
Yes;herbreathdidmarkit,butveryfaintly。Sallycleanedtheglasswithherapron,andgaveitbacktome。Asshedidso,shehalfstretchedoutherhandtoMary’sface,butdrewitinagainsuddenly,asifshewasafraidofsoilingMary’sdelicateskinwithherhard,hornyfingers。Goingout,shestoppedatthefootofthebed,andscrapedawayalittlepatchofmudthatwasononeofMary’sshoes。
"Ialwaysusedtoclean’emforher,"saidSally,"tosaveherhandsfromgettingblacked。MayItake’emoffnow,andclean’emagain?"
Inoddedmyhead,formyheartwastooheavytospeak。Sallytooktheshoesoffwithaslow,awkwardtenderness,andwentout。
Anhourormoremusthavepassed,when,puttingtheglassoverherlipsagain,Isawnomarkonit。Ihelditcloserandcloser。
Idulleditaccidentallywithmyownbreath,andcleanedit。I
helditoverheragain。Oh,Mary,Mary,thedoctorwasright!I
oughttohaveonlythoughtofyouinheaven!
Dead,withoutaword,withoutasign——withoutevenalooktotellthetruestoryoftheblowthatkilledher!Icouldnotcalltoanybody,Icouldnotcry,Icouldnotsomuchasputtheglassdownandgiveherakissforthelasttime。Idon’tknowhowlongIhadsattherewithmyeyesburning,andmyhandsdeadlycold,whenSallycameinwiththeshoescleaned,andcarriedcarefullyinherapronforfearofasoiltouchingthem。Atthesightofthat——
Icanwritenomore。MytearsdropsofastonthepaperthatI
canseenothing。
March12th。Shediedontheafternoonoftheeighth。Onthemorningoftheninth,Iwrote,asindutybound,toherstepmotheratHammersmith。Therewasnoanswer。Iwroteagain;myletterwasreturnedtomethismorningunopened。Forallthatwomancares,Marymightbeburiedwithapauper’sfuneral;butthisshallneverbe,ifIpawneverythingaboutme,downtotheverygownthatisonmyback。ThebarethoughtofMarybeingburiedbytheworkhousegavemethespirittodrymyeyes,andgototheundertaker’s,andtellhimhowIwasplaced。Isaidifhewouldgetmeanestimateofallthatwouldhavetobepaid,fromfirsttolast,forthecheapestdecentfuneralthatcouldbehad,Iwouldundertaketoraisethemoney。Hegavemetheestimate,writteninthisway,likeacommonbill:
Awalkingfuneralcomplete……Pounds1138
Vestry……044
Rector……044
Clerk……010
Sexton……010
Beadle……010
Bell……010
Sixfeetofground……020
——————
TotalPounds284
IfIhadthehearttogiveanythoughttoit,IshouldbeinclinedtowishthattheChurchcouldaffordtodowithoutsomanysmallchargesforburyingpoorpeople,towhosefriendsevenshillingsareofconsequence。Butitisuselesstocomplain;themoneymustberaisedatonce。Thecharitabledoctor——apoormanhimself,orhewouldnotbelivinginourneighborhood——hassubscribedtenshillingstowardtheexpenses;andthecoroner,whentheinquestwasover,addedfivemore。Perhapsothersmayassistme。Ifnot,Ihavefortunatelyclothesandfurnitureofmyowntopawn。AndImustsetaboutpartingwiththemwithoutdelay,forthefuneralistobeto—morrow,thethirteenth。
Thefuneral——Mary’sfuneral!ItiswellthatthestraitsanddifficultiesIaminkeepmymindonthestretch。IfIhadleisuretogrieve,whereshouldIfindthecouragetofaceto—morrow?
ThankGodtheydidnotwantmeattheinquest。Theverdictgiven,withthedoctor,thepoliceman,andtwopersonsfromtheplacewheresheworked,forwitnesses,wasAccidentalDeath。Theendofthecravatwasproduced,andthecoronersaidthatitwascertainlyenoughtosuggestsuspicion;butthejury,intheabsenceofanypositiveevidence,heldtothedoctor’snotionthatshehadfaintedandfallendown,andsogottheblowonhertemple。TheyreprovedthepeoplewhereMaryworkedforlettinghergohomealone,withoutsomuchasadropofbrandytosupporther,aftershehadfallenintoaswoonfromexhaustionbeforetheireyes。Thecoroneradded,onhisownaccount,thathethoughtthereproofwasthoroughlydeserved。Afterthat,thecravat—endwasgivenbacktomebymyowndesire,thepolicesayingthattheycouldmakenoinvestigationswithsuchaslightclewtoguidethem。Theymaythinkso,andthecoroner,anddoctor,andjurymaythinkso;but,inspiteofallthathaspassed,IamnowmorefirmlypersuadedthaneverthatthereissomedreadfulmysteryinconnectionwiththatblowonmypoorlostMary’stemplewhichhasyettoberevealed,andwhichmaycometobediscoveredthroughthisveryfragmentofacravatthatIfoundinherhand。IcannotgiveanygoodreasonforwhyIthinkso,butIknowthatifIhadbeenoneofthejuryattheinquest,nothingshouldhaveinducedmetoconsenttosuchaverdictasAccidentalDeath。
AfterIhadpawnedmythings,andhadbeggedasmalladvanceofwagesattheplacewhereIworktomakeupwhatwasstillwantingtopayforMary’sfuneral,IthoughtImighthavehadalittlequiettimetopreparemyselfasIbestcouldforto—morrow。Butthiswasnottobe。WhenIgothomethelandlordmetmeinthepassage。Hewasinliquor,andmorebrutalandpitilessinhiswayoflookingandspeakingthaneverIsawhimbefore。
"Soyou’regoingtobefoolenoughtopayforherfuneral,areyou?"werehisfirstwordstome。
Iwastoowearyandheart—sicktoanswer;Ionlytriedtogetbyhimtomyowndoor。
"Ifyoucanpayforburyingher,"hewenton,puttinghimselfinfrontofme,"youcanpayherlawfuldebts。Sheowesmethreeweeks’rent。Supposeyouraisethemoneyforthatnext,andhanditovertome?I’mnotjoking,Icanpromiseyou。Imeantohavemyrent;and,ifsomebodydon’tpayit,I’llhaveherbodyseizedandsenttotheworkhouse!"
Betweenterroranddisgust,IthoughtIshouldhavedroppedtothefloorathisfeet。ButIdeterminednottolethimseehowhehadhorrifiedme,ifIcouldpossiblycontrolmyself。SoI
musteredresolutionenoughtoanswerthatIdidnotbelievethelawgavehimanysuchwickedpoweroverthedead。
"I’llteachyouwhatthelawis!"hebrokein;"you’llraisemoneytoburyherlikeabornlady,whenshe’sdiedinmydebt,willyou?AndyouthinkI’llletmyrightsbetrampleduponlikethat,doyou?SeeifIdo!I’llgiveyoutillto—nighttothinkaboutit。IfIdon’thavethethreeweekssheowesbeforeto—morrow,deadoralive,sheshallgototheworkhouse!"
ThistimeImanagedtopushbyhim,andgettomyownroom,andlockthedoorinhisface。AssoonasIwasaloneIfellintoabreathless,suffocatingfitofcryingthatseemedtobeshakingmetopieces。Buttherewasnogoodandnohelpintears;Ididmybesttocalmmyselfafteralittlewhile,andtriedtothinkwhoIshouldruntoforhelpandprotection。
ThedoctorwasthefirstfriendIthoughtof;butIknewhewasalwaysoutseeinghispatientsofanafternoon。Thebeadlewasthenextpersonwhocameintomyhead。Hehadthelookofbeingaverydignified,unapproachablekindofmanwhenhecameabouttheinquest;buthetalkedtomealittlethen,andsaidIwasagoodgirl,andseemed,Ireallythought,topityme。SotohimI
determinedtoapplyinmygreatdangeranddistress。
Mostfortunately,Ifoundhimathome。WhenItoldhimofthelandlord’sinfamousthreats,andofthemiseryIwassufferinginconsequenceofthem,heroseupwithastampofhisfoot,andsentforhisgold—lacedcockedhatthathewearsonSundays,andhislongcanewiththeivorytoptoit。
"I’llgiveittohim,"saidthebeadle。"Comealongwithme,mydear。IthinkItoldyouyouwereagoodgirlattheinquest——ifIdidn’t,Itellyousonow。I’llgiveittohim!Comealongwithme。"
Andhewentout,stridingonwithhiscockedhatandhisgreatcane,andIfollowedhim。
"Landlord!"hecries,themomenthegetsintothepassage,withathumpofhiscaneonthefloor,"landlord!"withalookallroundhimasifhewasKingofEnglandcallingtoabeast,"comeout!"
Themomentthelandlordcameoutandsawwhoitwas,hiseyefixedonthecockedhat,andheturnedaspaleasashes。
"Howdareyoufrightenthispoorgirl?"saysthebeadle。"Howdareyoubullyheratthissorrowfultimewiththreateningtodowhatyouknowyoucan’tdo?Howdareyoubeacowardly,bullying,braggadocioofanunmanlylandlord?Don’ttalktome:Iwon’thearyou。I’llpullyouup,sir。Ifyousayanotherwordtotheyoungwoman,I’llpullyouupbeforetheauthoritiesofthismetropolitanparish。I’vehadmyeyeonyou,andtheauthoritieshavehadtheireyeonyou,andtherectorhashadhiseyeonyou。
Wedon’tlikethelookofyoursmallshoproundthecorner;wedon’tlikethelookofsomeofthecustomerswhodealatit;wedon’tlikedisorderlycharacters;andwedon’tbyanymannerofmeanslikeyou。Goaway。Leavetheyoungwomanalone。Holdyourtongue,orI’llpullyouup。Ifhesaysanotherword,orinterfereswithyouagain,mydear,comeandtellme;and,assureashe’sabullying,unmanly,braggadocioofalandlord,I’llpullhimup。"
Withthosewordsthebeadlegavealoudcoughtoclearhisthroat,andanotherthumpofhiscaneonthefloor,andsowentstridingoutagainbeforeIcouldopenmylipstothankhim。Thelandlordslunkbackintohisroomwithoutaword。Iwasleftaloneandunmolestedatlast,tostrengthenmyselfforthehardtrialofmypoorlove’sfuneralto—morrow。
March13th。Itisallover。Aweekagoherheadrestedonmybosom。Itislaidinthechurchyardnow;thefreshearthliesheavyoverhergrave。Iandmydearestfriend,thesisterofmylove,arepartedinthisworldforever。
Ifollowedherfuneralalonethroughthecruel,hustlingstreets。
Sally,Ithought,mighthaveofferedtogowithme,butsheneversomuchascameintomyroom。Ididnotliketothinkbadlyofherforthis,andIamgladIrestrainedmyself;for,whenwegotintothechurchyard,amongthetwoorthreepeoplewhowerestandingbytheopengraveIsawSally,inherraggedgrayshawlandherpatchedblackbonnet。Shedidnotseemtonoticemetillthelastwordsoftheservicehadbeenreadandtheclergymanhadgoneaway;thenshecameupandspoketome。
"Icouldn’tfollowalongwithyou,"shesaid,lookingatherraggedshawl,"forIhaven’tadecentsuitofclothestowalkin。
IwishIcouldgetventincryingforherlikeyou,butIcan’t;
allthecrying’sbeendrudgedandstarvedoutofmelongago。
Don’tyouthinkaboutlightingyourfirewhenyougethome。I’lldothat,andgetyouadropofteatocomfortyou。"
第29章