Mr。Ferdinandcastaglanceofrespectful,butunlimited,horrorupontheProphet’sguestsandretired,whiletheProphet,callinguponallhismanhood,turnedtoMr。Sagittarius。
"IregretmorethanIcansaythatIshallbeobligednowtoobeymygrandmother’ssummons,"hesaidcourteously。"Supposewedeferthis——
thispleasantlittlediscussiontosomefutureoc——"
"Impossible,sir!"criedMr。Sagittarius。"Quiteimpossible。Youmustgettoworkto—night,andhowcanyoudoitwithoutyourdirections?"
"Oh,Icanmanageallright,"saidtheProphet,desperately。"Icangiveaguessasto——"
"/Nonsuntadastraemollibusaterrusviae/!"criedMadame。"TheroadfromBerkeleysquaretothestarsisnotsoeasy,isit,Jupiter?"
"Noindeed,mylove。Why——"
"Then,"exclaimedtheProphet,muchagitated,andfeelingitincumbentuponhimtogetridofMr。SagittariusatoncelestthecuriosityofLadyEnidshouldincreasebeyondallmeasure,andleadtoanencounterbetweenthetwoclientsofJellybrand’s,"thenkindlygivememydirectionsasbrieflyaspossible,and——"
Therewasanothertapuponthedoor。
"Whatisit?"criedtheProphet,distractedly,"Comein!"
Mr。Ferdinandre—enteredverydelicately。
"Herladyshipcanonlystayaminute,sir。Mrs。Merilliahopesyoucanleaveyourbusiness——Isaidasyouwasverybusy,sir——andcomeuptothedrawing—room。"
"Yes,yes。I’llcome。SayI’llcome,Mr。Ferdinand。"
"Yes,sir。"
AsthedoorclosedtheProphetexclaimedexcitedly,——
"IfearIreallymust——"
"Takedownyourdirections,sir,"brokeinMr。Sagittarius,firmly。
"Verywell,"rejoinedtheProphet,desperately,seizinghispencilandtheaccount—book。"Whatarethey?"
"Yousweartofollowthem,sir?"
"Yes,yes,anything——anything!"
"Haveyouastarmap?"
"Yes——no!"
"Youmustgetone。"
"Verywell。"
"YouhadbetterdosoattheStores。"
Madamebreathedanalmostsensuoussighwhichcausedherhusbandtoglancetenderlytowardsher。
"Iknow,mylove,Iknow,"hesaid。"Itmaycomesomeday。"
"/Ofestumdies!Longaintervallam!/"shemurmured,shakingherbonnetwiththemannerofamartyrtoduty。
Mr。Sagittariuswasgreatlymoved。
"She’sasaint,"hewhisperedasidetotheProphet,asifimpartingsomenecessaryinformation。
"Certainly。Pleasegoon!"
Mr。Sagittariusstarted,asifsuddenlyrecalledtomundanematters。
"GetitattheStores,"hesaid。"Intheastronomicaldepartment。"
"Verywell。"
"Havingdoneso,andkeepingtheoldladyperpetuallyinyourmind,youwillplaceherintheclawsofthecrab——"
"What!"
"Mentally,sir,mentally,ofcourse。"
"Oh。"
"And,allowingforthenaturaleffectofthescorpionandserpentupononeofhervenerableage——"
"GoodHeavens!"
"Whencloseroundher,astheywillbe——butyouwillobservethatforyourself——"
TheProphetshuthiseyesasonewhorefusestobeholdsacrilege。
"Youwilltracethecycloidalcurveoftheplanets——canyoudothat?"
TheProphetnodded。
"Asitaffectsherbirthday,thetwentieth。Shouldthelynxbenearher——"
"No,no!"criedtheProphet。"Itshallnotbe!"
"Well,you’llhavetofindthatoutandkeepaneyetoit。Butshoulditbe,youwillcommittopaperwhatresultitspresenceislikelytoproducetoher,andworkthewholethingoutclearlyformyselfandMadameonpaper——inpropheticform,ofcourse——sothatwereceiveitby——whatpostshallIsay,mydear?"
"Firstpost,Jupiter。"
"Firstposton——whatdayisthetwentieth?"
"Idon’tknow,"repliedtheProphet,helplessly。
"AThursday,"saidMadame。"Capricornus’sdayforchronicsections。"
"Shealwaysknows,"saidMr。SagittariustotheProphet。
"Always。"
"Verywellthen,firstpostThursdaymorning。Nowisthatquiteclear?"
"Oh,quite,quite。"
"Youwillofcoursesendtheoldlady’shoroscopetousatthesametimewithfullparticulars。"
"Fullparticulars?"saidtheProphet。"Whatof?"
"Ofherremovalfromthebottle,cuttingofherfirsttooth,shortcoating,goingintoskirts,puttingofthehairup,dayofmarriageandwidowhood,illnesses——"
"Especiallytherashes,Jupiter,"struckinMadame。
"Whatamind!"saidMr。SagittariusasidetotheProphet。
"What!"
"EspeciallyasMadamesays,anyillnessestakingtheformofarash——
theepidemicform,asImaysay——andsoforth。WearetoreceivethisdocumentbythefirstpostThursdaymorning。"
"Haveyoudottedallthatdown,Mr。Vivian?"inquiredMadame。
TheProphethastilymadealargevarietyofscratcheswiththeleadpencil。
"Andnow,"continuedMr。Sagittarius。
Therewasathirdtapatthedoor。
"Comein,"criedtheProphet,distractedly,andfeelingasifhomicidalmaniawererapidlycreepinguponhim。
Mr。Ferdinandappearedoncemore,withamouthlikeapurse。
"Herladyshipsaysshereallymustgoinamoment,sir,and——andMrs。
Merilliabegsthat——"
"Iamcomingatonce,Mr。Ferdinand。Iswearit。GoupstairsandswearIswearit。"
"Yes,sir。"
Mr。Ferdinanddeparted,ratherwiththedemeanourofanarchbishopwhohasbeeninveigledintopledginghimself,onhisarchiepiscopaloath,tocommitsomehorridcrime。TheProphetturned,almostviolently,towardshisguests。
"Imustgo,"hecried。"Imustindeed。Prayforgiveme。YouseehowI
amcircumstanced。Permitmetoshowyoutothedoor。"
"Youswear,sir,tocarryoutallourdirectionsandtodotdown——"
"Ido。Iswearsolemnlytodotdown——ifyouwillonly——thisway。Takecareofthemat。"
"Wetrustyou,Mr。Vivian,"saidMadame,withmajesticpathos。"Awife,amothertrustsyou。/Placensuxus!Materfamiliaris/。"
"Ipledgemyhonour。Thisisthe——no,no,notthatway,notthatway!"
Theworthycouple,bymistake,nodoubt,wereproceedingtowardsthegrandstaircase,havingmissedthewaytothehalldoor,andastheProphet,followingthemupwithalmostunimaginableactivity,drewnearenoughtodrumtherightdirectionintotheirbacks,LadyEnidbecamevisibleonthelandingabove。Mr。Sagittariusperceivedher。
"Why,it’sMissMinerv——"hebegan。
"Thisway,thisway!"criedtheProphet,wheelingthemroundanddrivingthem,butalwayslikeathoroughgentleman,towardsthesquare。
"Thensheleadsadoublelife,too!"saidMr。Sagittarius,solemnly,fixinghisstrainedeyesupontheProphet。
"She?Who?"saidMadame,sharply。
ShehadnotseenLadyEnid。
"Allofus,mylove,allofus,"returnedherhusband,astheProphetsucceededinshepherdingthemontothepavement。
"Good—bye,"hecried。
Withalmostinconceivablerapidityheshutthedoor。Ashedidsotwovagueechoesseemedtofaintonhisear。Onewasmale,adreamlike——
"Firstpost,Thursday!"Theotherwasfemale,afairylike——"/Jactumaleasunt/。"
CHAPTERIX
THEPROPHETBEGINSTOCARRYOUTHISDIRECTIONS
"Mr。Ferdinand,"saidtheProphetthesameevening,afterhehaddressedfordinner,"whathasbecomeofthetelescope?"
Hespokeinalowvoice,notunlikethatofaconfirmedconspirator,andglancedratherfurtivelyaroundhim,asifafraidofbeingoverheard。
"Ihaveremovedit,sir,accordingtoyourorders,"repliedMr。
Ferdinand,alsodisplayingsomeuneasiness。
"Yes,yes。Wherehaveyouplacedit?"
"Well,sir,IunderstoodyoutosayImightthrowitinPiccadilly,ifIsowished。"
TheProphetsuddenlydisplayedrelief。
"Isee。Youhavedoneso。"
"Well,no,sir。"
TheProphet’sfacefell。
"Thenwhereisit?"
"Well,sir,forthemomentIhavesetitinthebutler’spantry。"
"Indeed!"
"Ithoughtitmightbeofusethere,sir,"continuedMr。Ferdinand,insomeconfusion,which,however,wasnotnoticedbytheProphet。"Ofgreatuseto——toGustavusandmein——inourduties,sir。"
"Quiteso,quiteso,"returnedtheProphet,abstractedly。
"Didyouwishittobetakentothedrawing—roomagain,sir?"
TheProphetstarted。
"Certainlynot,"hesaid。"Onnoaccount。Asyouveryrightlysay——abutler’spantryistheplaceforatelescope。Itcanbeofgreatservicethere。"
HisfervoursurprisedMr。Ferdinand,whobegantowonderwhether,byanychance,hismasterknewoftheLordChancellor’sagreeable—lookingsecond—cook。Afterpausingamomentrespectfully,Mr。FerdinandwasabouttodecampwhentheProphetcheckedhimwithagesture。
"Onemoment,Mr。Ferdinand!"
"Sir?"
"Onemoment!"
Mr。Ferdinandstoodstill。TheProphetclearedhisthroat,arrangedhistie,andthensaid,withanairofveryelaboratenonchalance,——
"Atwhattimedoyougenerallygotobed,Mr。Ferdinand,whenyoudon’tsitup?"
"Sometimesatonetime,sir,andsometimesatanother。"
"That’sratherambiguous。"
"Ibegpardon,sir。"
"Whatisyourusualhourforbeingquite——thatis,entirelyinbed。"
"Entirelyinbed,sir?"
Mr。Ferdinand’sfinebassvoicevibratedwithsurprise。
"Yes。Notpartiallyinbed,butreallyandtrulyinbed?"
"Well,sir,"returnedMr。Ferdinand,withdecideddignity,"whenIaminbed,sir,Iam。"
"Andwhen’sthat?"
"Bytwelve,sir。"
"Ithoughtasmuch,"criedtheProphet,withslightlytheatricalsolicitude。"Yousituptoolate,Mr。Ferdinand。"
"Ihope,sir,thatI——"
"That’swhatmakesyousopale,Mr。Ferdinand,anddelicate。"
"Delicate,sir!"criedMr。Ferdinand,whohadinfactbeenhopelesslyrobustfromthecradle,totallyincapableofacquiringeventhemostuniversalcomplaints,and,moreover,miraculouslyexemptfromthatwell—recognisedafflictionofthemembersofhisprofessionsowidelyknownas"butler’sfeet。"
"Yes,"saidtheProphet,emphatically。"Youshouldbeinbed,thoroughlyinbed,byaquartertoeleven。AndGustavustoo!Heisyoung,andtheyoungcan’tbetoocareful。Beginto—night,Mr。
Ferdinand。Ispeakforyourhealth’ssake,believeme。"
SosayingtheProphethurriedaway,leavingMr。FerdinandalmostasfirmlyrootedtotheTurkeycarpetwithsurpriseasifhehadbeenwovenintothepatternatbirth,andneverunpickedinlateryears。
AttenthateveningtheProphet,havingescapedearlyfromhisdinneronsomeextravagantpleaofsuddenillnessorsecondgaiety,stoodinthesmallandsoberpassageofthecelebratedTintackClubandinquiredanxiouslyforMr。RobertGreen。
"Yes,sir。Mr。Greenisupstairsinthesmoke—room,"saidthefunctionarywhomtheclubgrewunderglassforthebenefitofthemembersandtheirfriends。
"Sam,showthisgentlemantoMr。Green。"
Sam,whowasared—facedchildinbuttons,withaman’swalkandthebackofonewhoknewasmuchasmostpeople,obeyedthiscommand,andusheredtheProphetintoaroomwithasealing—waxredpaper,inwhichRobertGreenwassittingalone,smokingalargecigarandglancingatthe"stony—brokeedition"ofaneveningpaper。HegreetedtheProphetwithhisusualunaffectedcordiality,offeredhimeverydrinkthathadyetbeeninvented,and,onhisrefusalofthemall,handedhimacigarandamatchbox,andwhistled"Ta—ra—ra—boom—de—av"athiminthemostfriendlymannerpossible。
"Bob,"saidtheProphet,takingaverylongtimetolightthecigar,"what,inyouropinion,istheexactmeaningofthetermhonour?"
Mr。Green’scheerful,thoughslightlybelated,faceassumedanexpressionofgenialbetwaddlement。
"Oh,well,Hen,"hesaid,"exactmeaningyouknow’snotsoeasy。But——
hangit,weallunderstandthething,eh,withoutstickingitdowninwords。What?"
"Idon’t,Bob,"rejoinedtheProphet,inthetoneofamanatoddswithseveralconsciences。"Inwhatdirectiondoeshonourlie?"
"Itdon’tlieatall,oldchap,"saidMr。Green,withthedecidedmannerwhichhadmadehimsouniversallyesteemedinyeomanrycircles。
TheProphetbegantolookverymuchdistressed。
"Lookhere,Bob,I’llputitinthisway,"hesaid。"Wouldanhonourablemanfeelboundtokeepapromise?"
"Rather。"
"Yes,butwouldhefeelboundtokeeptwopromises?"
"Rather,ifhe’dmade’em。"
"Supposehehad!"
"Goahead,Hen,I’msupposing,"saidMr。Green,beginningtopuckerhisbrowsandstareveryhardindeedintheendeavourtokeepthesuppositionfixedfirmlyinhishead。
"And,further,supposethatthesetwopromiseswerediametricallyopposedtooneanother。"
Mr。Greenstuckoutoneleg,lookedobliquelyatthecarpet,pressedhislipstogetherandnodded。
"Sothatifhefulfilledthembothhe’dhavetobreakthemboth——"
"Stopasec!Gad,I’velostit!Startagain,Hen!"
"No,Imeansothatifhedidn’tbreakonehewouldbeforcedtobreaktheother。Haveyougotthat?"
"Stopabit!Don’tbelieveIhave。Let’ssee!"
Hemovedhislipssilently,repeatingtheProphet’swords。
"Yes。I’vegotthatallrightnow,"hesaid,afterthreeminutesofstrenuousmentalexertion。
"Well,whatwouldyousayofhim?"
"Thathewasadamnedfool。"
TheProphetlookedverymuchupset。
"No,no,Bob,Imeanttohim。Whatwouldyousaytohim?"
"Thathewasadamnedfool。"
TheProphetbegantoappearthoroughlybrokendown。However,hestillstucktohisinterpellation。
"Verywell,Bob,"hesaid,withunutterableresignation——asofatoadbeneaththeharrow——"but,puttingallthataside——"
"Giveusachance,Hen!I’vegottoshuntallthat,haveI?"
"Yes,atleastallyouwouldsayof,andto,theman。"
"Oh,onlythat。Waitabit!Yes,I’vedonethat。Driveonnow!"
"Puttingallthataside,whatshouldyouadvisethemantodo?"
"Nottobesuchadamnedfoolagain。"
"No,no!Imeanaboutthetwopromises?"
"Whatabout’em?"
"Whichwouldhissenseofhonourcompelhimtokeep?"
"Ishouldn’tthinksuchadamnedfool’dgotasenseofhonour。"
TheProphetwinced,buthestuckwithfeverishobstinacytohispoint。
"Yes,Bob,hehad。"
"Idon’tbelieveit,Hen,’ponmywordIdon’t。You’llalwaysfindthatdamnedf——"
"Bob,Imustbegyoutotakeitfromme。Hehad。Nowwhichpromiseshouldhekeep?"
"Who’dhemade’emto?"
"Who?"saidtheProphet,wavering。
"Yes。"
"Oneto——toaverynearanddearrelative,theotherto——well,Bobtotwocomparativestrangers。"
"Whatsortofstrangers。"
"Thesortofstrangerswho——wholivebesideariver,andwho——whomixprincipallywith——well,infact,witharchitectsandtheirwives。"
"Rumsortofstrangers?"
"Theyaredecidedly。"
"Oh,then,youknow’em?"
"That’snotthepoint,"exclaimedtheProphet,hastily。"Thepointiswhichpromiseistobekept。"
"Ishouldsaytheonemadetotherelative。Waitabit,though!Yes,I
shouldsaythat。"
TheProphetbreathedasighofrelief。Butsomedreadfulsenseofhonestywithinhimcompelledhimtoadd,——
"Iforgottosaythathe’dpledgedhishonourtothearchitects——thatis,tothestrangerswholivedbesideariver。"
"What——andnotpledgedittotherelative?"
"Well,no。"
"Thenheoughttosticktothepromisehe’dpledgedhishonourover,ofcourse。Nicefortherelative!Theman’sadamnedfool,Hen。Dohaveadrink,oldchap。"
ThusdidMr。RobertGreendrivetheProphettotakethefirstdecisivestepthatwastoleadtosomanycomplications,——thesteptowardsMr。
Ferdinand’spantry。
Atpreciselyaquartertoelevenp。m。theProphetstooduponhisdoorstepand,verygentlyindeed,insertedhislatchkeyintothedoor。
Ashadedlampwasburninginthedesertedhall,whereprofoundsilencereigned。Clearwasthenightandstarry。AstheProphetturnedtoclosethedoorheperceivedthebusycrab,andthethoughtofhisbelovedgrandmother,sinkingnowtorestonthesecondfloorallunconsciousofthepropinquityofthescorpion,thecontiguityoftheserpent,filledhisexpressiveeyeswithtears。Heshutthedoor,stoodinthehallandlistened。Heheardachaircrack,thetickingofaclock。Therewasnoothersound,andhefeltcertainthatMr。FerdinandandGustavushadheededhisanxiousmedicaldirectionsandgoneentirelytobedbetimes,leavingthebutler’spantryfreeforthenocturnaloperationsofthevictimofMadame。ForherecognisedthatshewastheguidingspiritofthefamilythatdweltbesidetheMouse。HemighthaveescapedoutofthesnareofMr。Sagittarius,butMadamewasafowlerwhowouldholdhimfasttillshehadsatisfiedherselfonceandforallwhetheritwereindeedpossibletodwellinthecentraldistricts,withinreachoftheArmyandNavyheaveninVictoriaStreet,andyetremainaprophet。
Yes,hemustnowworkfortheinformationofherambitioussoul。Hesigheddeeplyandwentsoftlyupthestairs。HischamberwasonthesamefloorasMrs。Merillia’s,and,ashenearedherdoor,heroseinstinctivelyuponhistoesand,graspingthetailsofhiseveningcoatfirmlywithhislefthand,topreventanychancerustlingoftheirsatinlining,andbearinghisGeorgetheThirdsilvercandlesticksteadilytocontrolanyclatteringofitsextinguisher,hemovedonratherlikeathiefwhowasalsoatrainedballerina,holdinghisbreathandpressinghislipstogetherinasupremeagonyofdumbness。
Unluckilyhetrippedintheraisedpatternofthecarpet,thecandlestickutteredasilvernote,hispent—inbreathescapedwithaloudgulp,andMrs。Merillia’sdelicatevoicecriedoutfrombehindhershutdoor,——
"Hennessey!Hennessey!"
TheProphetbithislipandwentatonceintoherroom。
Mrs。Merillialookedsimplycharminginbed,withherlongandelegantheadshadedbyabeautifulmuslinhelmettrimmedwithlace,andadeliciousembroideredwrapperroundhershoulders。TheProphetstoodbesideher,shadingthecandle—flamewithhishand。
"Well,grannie,dear,"hesaid,"whatisit?Yououghttobeasleep。"
"Ineversleepbeforetwelve。Haveyouhadapleasantdinner?"
"Very。StanyerPhelps,theAmerican,wasthereandverywitty。Andwehadamarvellous/supremedevolaille/。Everybodyaskedafteryou。"
Mrs。Merillianodded,likeanaccustomedqueenwhoreceivesherdue。
SheknewverywellthatshewasthemostpopularoldwomaninLondon,knewittoowelltothinkaboutit。
"Well,good—night,grannie。"
TheProphetbenttokissher,hisheartfilledwithcompunctionatthethoughtofthepromisehewasabouttobreak。ItseemedtohimalmostmorethansacrilegioustomakeofthisdearandhonouredornamentofoldageavehicleforthesatisfactionofthevulgarambitionsanddisagreeablecuriosityofthecouplewhodweltbesidetheMouse。
"Good—night,mydearboy。"
Shekissedhim,thenadded,——
"YoulikeLadyEnid,don’tyou?"
"Verymuch。"
"SodoesRobertGreen。Hethinkshersuchathoroughlysensiblegirl。"
"Bob!Doeshe?"saidtheProphet,concealingaslightsmile。
"Yes。Ifyouwanthertogetonwithyou,Hennessey,youshouldcomeuptoteawhensheishere。"
"Icouldn’tto—day,grannie。"
"Youwerereallybusy?"
"Verybusyindeed。"
"Isupposeyouonlysawherforamomentonthestairs?"
"Thatwasall。"
Itwastrue,forLadyEnidhadscarcelystayedtospeaktotheProphet,havinghurriedoutinthehopeofdiscoveringwhowerethe"twoparties"hehadbeenentertainingonthegroundfloor。
Mrs。Merilliadroppedthesubject。
"Good—night,Hennessey,"shesaid。"Gotobedatonce。Youlookquitetired。Iamsothankfulyouhavegivenupthathorribleastronomy。"
TheProphetdidnotreply,but,ashewentoutoftheroom,heknew,forthefirsttime,whatcriminalswithconsciencesfeellikewhentheyareengagedinfollowingtheirdreadprofession。
Ashewalkedacrossthelandingheheardaclockstrikeeleven。Hestarted,hastenedintohisroom,toreoffhiscoat,replaceditwithaquiltedsmoking—jacket,spranglightlytohistable,seizedaplanisphere,orstar—map,whichhehadsucceededinobtainingthatnightfromasmallworkingastronomer’sshopintheEdgewareRoad,and,mindfulofthetermsofhisoathandthedecidedopinionofRobertGreen,scurriedhastily,butverygingerly,downthestairs。ThistimeMrs。Merilliadidnothearhim。Shehadindeedbecomeabsorbedinanewromance,writtenbyaveryrisingyoungMontenegrinwhowasjustthenmakingsomestirintheliterarycirclesoftheelect。
VerysurreptitiouslytheProphettrippedacrossthehallandreachedthestoutdoorwhichgaveaccesstotheservants’quarters。Butherehepaused。AlthoughhehadlivedinMrs。Merillia’smostcomfortablehomeforatleastfifteenyears,hehadactuallyneveroncepenetratedbeyondthisdoor。Ithadneveroccurredtohimtodoso。Oftenhehadapproachedit。Quiterecently,whenMrs。FancyQuinglethadbrokenintotearsontherefusalofSirTiglathButttoburstaccordingtoherprediction,hehadhandedhertothisveryportal。Buthehadneverpassedthroughit,nordidheknowwhatlaybeyond。Nodoubttherewasakitchen,veryprobablythemysteriousregionofwateryactivitiescommonlyknownasascullery,quitecertainlyabutler’spantry。Butwhereeachseparatesanctumlay,andwhatshouldbethephysiognomyofeachonetheProphethadnotthevaguestidea。AsheturnedthehandleofthedoorhefeltlikeSirHenryStanley,whenthatintrepidexplorerfirstsetfootamongtheleafyhabitationsofthedwarfs。