Theladyinvermilion,whohadatuftofgoldenhairinthemidstofherotherwiseravenlocks,glancedmysteriouslyatMr。Moses。
"Seeanything,mother?"heasked,withtheatricalsolemnity。"AtinychunkofluckfortrickylittleBriskin?"
"Idoseesomething,"saidEureka,inadimandheavyvoice。"It’sjustclosetoyouonthattablebythebrandy。"
Mr。Mosesstarted,andcastaglanceofaweatthetumbler。
"Myword,"hecried——"myword,mother!What’stheblessedlittlesymbollike?NotaponyfreshfromJerusalemforyourbelievingboy!"
"Youmustwaitamoment。Itisnotclear,"repliedEureka,slowlyanddreamily,fixingherheavyeyesonthebrandy—and—soda。"It’sallcloudy。"
"Beenimbibing,mother?Hastheblessedlittlesymbolbeenatitagain?
Briskin’sshock——shocked!"
"It’sgettingclearer。Itstandsinabandoffire。"
"ShadeofShadrach!ApparitionofAbednego!Drawitmildandbitter,mother!"
"Ah!nowitstepsout。It’sgotahump。"
"Gotthehump,mother?Myword!thenitmustbeeitheracameloranundischargedbankrupt!Whichisit,prettysoul?"
"It’sarhinoceros。It’smovingtoyou。"
"Yokohama,mother!Telltheprettybirdtokeepback!What’sitmean?"
"It’sasignofplenty。"
"Plentyofwhat,mother?Thereadyorthenose—bag?Giveusachance!"
"Plentyofgoodfortune,becauseitsheadistowardsyou。Ifithadpresenteditstail,itwouldmeanblackweather。"
"Don’tletitturntail,forSaturday’ssake,mother。KeepitsheadstraightwhileIfinishthebrandy!"
Andsosaying,littleMr。Moses,withelaboratefurtiveness,caughtupthetumbler,poureditscontentsdownhisthroat,andthrewhimselfbackonthedivanwiththeairofamanwhohadjustescapedfromperilbytheconsummatepersonalexerciseofunparalleledandsustainedingenuity。
DuringthissceneMissMinervahadpreservedherairofpronouncedScottishgoodsense,whilelisteningattentively,andshenowsaidtoEureka,——
"D’youseeanythingforMr。Vivian,dearEureka?Eventhelittlestthingwouldbewelcomed。"
EurekastaredupontheProphet,whobegantofeelverynervous。
"There’ssomethingroundhishead,"sheremarked,withherusualalmostsacredearnestness。
TheProphetmechanicallyputuphishands,likeamananxioustointerferewiththeassiduousattentionsofaswarmofbees。
"Somethingrightroundhishead。"
"Isitahalo?"askedMissMinerva。
"IsitaLincoln&Bennet,mother?"criedMr。Moses。"Oneoftheshinyones——twenty—onebob,andtwenty—five—and—sixifyouwantakidlining?"
"No;it’slikesomesortofbird。"
"’Iheardtheowlbeneathmyeavescomplaining,’"chirpedMr。Moses,takingtwoorthreehighnotesinadelicatetenorvoice。"’Ilookedforth——greatScot!Howitwasraining!’Isitanowl,mother?AskittoscreechtoBriskin。"
"Itisnoowl,"saidEurekatotheProphet。"Itisasparrow——yourbird。"
"Isituponthehousetop,mother,havingaspreeallonitslittlealone?"
"No;itishoveringoverthegentleman。"
"Whatdoesthatmean?"saidtheProphet,anxiously。
ButatthispointEurekasuddenlyseemedtoloseinterestinthematter。"Oh,you’reallright,"shesaidcarelessly。"I’mtired。I
shouldlikeawafer。"
"Mother’speckish。Mother,Iseeanostrichbyyourleftelbow。That’sasignthatyou’resopeckishyoucouldswallowanything。Waiter!"
"Sir!"
"Thislady’ssopeckishshecouldeatanything。Bringhersometin—
tacksandawafer。Stopasec。AnotherbrandyforBriskin。Yourcalves’ddoforthefrontrow;’ponmyword,theywould。Trot,boy,trot!"
"Imustspeaktoyoualoneforonemoment,"whisperedtheProphettoMissMinerva,undercoverofthequipsofMr。Moses。"SirTiglath’scoming!"
MissMinervastarted。
"SirTig——"sheexclaimedandputherfingertoherlipsjustintimetostopthe"lath"fromcomingout。"Mr。Moses,I’mgoingtothebuffetforamomentwithMr。Vivian。Eureka,darling,doeatsomethingsubstantial!Allthissecondsighttakesitoutofyou。"
Eurekaacquiescedwithaheavysigh,Mr。Mosescried,"AuntEureka’ssohungrythatonewoulddeclareshecouldeveneatoatsifshefoundtheywerethere!"andMissMinervaandtheProphetmovedlanguidlytowardsthebuffet,endeavouring,bytheindifferenceoftheirmovements,tocovertheagitationintheirhearts。
"SirTiglathcominghere!"criedMissMinervaunderherbreath,assoonastheywereoutofearshot。"Buthedoesn’tknowMrs。Bridgeman!"
"Iknow——buthe’scoming。Andnotonlythat,Mr。andMadameSagittariusareherealready!"
MissMinervalookedcloselyattheProphetinsilenceforamoment。
Thenshesaid,——
"Isee——Isee!"
"What?"criedtheProphet,ingreatanxiety,"notthesparrowonmyhead?"
"No。ButIseethatyou’retakingtoyourdoublelifeinrealearnest。"
"I?"
"Yes。Now,Mr。Vivian,that’sallverywell,andyouknowI’mthelastpersontocomplainofanythingofthatsort,solongasitdoesn’tgetmeintodifficulties。"
"Thinkofthedifficultiesyouandeveryoneelsehavegotmeinto,"
ejaculatedthepoorProphet,foronceinhislifestepping,perhaps,ahair’s—breadthfromthepathsofgoodbreeding。
"Well,I’msureI’vedonenothing。"
"Nothing!"saidtheProphet,losinghisheadundertheinfluenceoftheguitars,whichwerenowgettingunderwayinafantasiaon"Carmen。"
"Nothing!Why,youmademecomehere,youinsistedonmyintroducingMr。SagittariustoMrs。Bridgeman,youtoldSirTiglathMrs。BridgemanandIwereoldfriendsandhadmadeinvestigationstogether,assistedbyMr。Sagittarius,you——"
"Oh,well,that’snothing。ButSirTiglathmustn’tseemehereasMissMinerva。Hashearrivedyet?"
"Idon’tthinkso。He’sgotthecabwehadyesterdayandthehorse。"
"Theonethattumblesdownsocleverlywhenit’snottootired?
Capital!Runtothecloak—room,meetSirTiglaththere,andpersuadehimtogohome。"
ButheretheProphetstruck。
"IregretIcan’t,"hesaid,almostfirmly。
"Butyoumust。"
"IregretsincerelythatIamunable。"
"Why?Mr。Vivian,whenaladyasksyou!"
"Iamgrieved,"saidtheProphet,withaspeciesofintoxicatedobstinacy——theguitarsseemedtobeplayinginsidehisbrainandtheflutepipinginthesmallofhisback,——"todecline,butIcannotcontendphysicallywithSirTiglath,amanwhomIreverence,inthecloak—roomofatotalstranger。"
"Idon’taskyoutocontendphysically。"
"NothingbutpersonalviolencewouldkeepSirTiglathfromcomingin。"
"Really!Thenwhat’stobedone?"
Shepurseduphersensiblelipsanddrewdownhersensibleeyebrows。
"Iknow!"shecried,afteramoment’sthought。"I’llmasqueradeto—nightasmyself。"
"Asyourself?"
"Yes。AllthesedearsillypeopleherethinkthatI’vegotanastralbody。"
"What’sthat?"
"Asortoffloatingbusiness——abusinessthatyoucansetfloating。"
"What——acompany?"
"No,no。Areplicaofyourself。ThegreatTowle——"
"He’shereto—night。"
"Iknewhewascoming。Well,thegreatTowledetachedthisastralbodyonceatas閍nceand,forajoke——asillyjoke,youknow——"
"Yes,yes。"
"Ichristeneditbymyrealname,LadyEnidThistle,andsaidLadyEnidwasanancestressofmine。"
"Whydidyou?"
"Becauseitwassoidiotic。"
"Isee。"
"Well,I’veonlynowtospreadareportamongthesedearcreaturesthatI’mastralto—night,andgetTowletobackmeup,andIcaneasilybeLadyEnidforanhourortwo。InthiscrowdSirTiglathneedneverfindoutthatI’mgenerallyknowninthesecirclesasMissPartridge。"
"Doyoureallythink——"
"Yes,Ido。ButImustfindTowleatonce。"
Sosayingshehastenedawayfromthebuffet,followedbythetrottingProphet。AsshepassedEurekaandMr。Moses,shesaid,——
"Eureka,darling,doIlookodd?IsuddenlybegantofeelastraljustasIwasgoingtoeatasandwich。Ican’thelpthinkingthatLadyEnid——youknow,myastralancestress,who’salwayswithme——ispeculiarlypowerfulto—night。D’younoticeanything?"
"Watchoutforit,mother!"criedMr。Moses。"Seeifit’sgotthelump。"
EurekafixedherheavyeyesonMissMinervaandswayedherthinbodytoandfroinaspanther—likeamannerasshecouldmanage。
"Mother’safterit,"continuedMr。Moses,twitchinghisleftearwithhisthumbinaHebraicmannerandshootinghisshiningcuffs;"mother’sonthetrail。Dovesforabishopandthelittlemangel—wurzelforthelabouringman。Clevermother!She’lltakecareit’ssuitable。Isitahaggis,mother,hoveringovertheladywithoutspreadwings?"
Eurekaclosedhereyesandrockedherselfmoreviolently。
"Iseeyou,"shesaidinadeepvoice。"Youareastral。YouareLadyEnidemergedforanhourfromourdearMinerva。"
"Ithoughtso,"criedLadyEnid,withdecision。"Ithoughtso,becausewhensomeonecalledmeMissMinervajustnowIfeltangry,anddidn’tseemtoknowwhattheymeant。Tellthem,dearEureka,——tellallmyfriendsofyourdiscovery。"
AndshehastenedonwiththeProphetinsearchofthegreatTowle。
"I’llgethimtobackEurekaup,andthenitwillbequitesafe,"shesaid。"Ah!thereheiswithHarrietBrowne,thedemonstratorfromtheRye。"
Indeed,atthismomentasmallcrowdwasvisibleinoneofthefurtherdrawing—rooms,movingobsequiouslyalonginreverentattendanceuponthegreatTowle,Mrs。Bridgemanandathickset,red—facedlady,withoutawaistandplainlycladinuntrimmedlinsey—wolsey,whowasspeakingauthoritativelytoahysterical—lookingyounggirl,uponwhosenarrowshouldersherestedaheavy,fat—fingeredhandasshewalked。
"Harriet’sevidentlygoingtodemonstrate,"addedLadyEnid。"That’slucky,becausethenIcangetaquietwordwithTowle。"
"Demonstrate?"saidtheProphet。
"Yes。She’sthegreatChristianScientistandhasthehealingpower。
ShedemonstratedoverAgathaMarshall’sleftear。Youknow。Thecasegotintothepapers。Ah,Harriet,darling!"
"Myblessing!MyMinerva!"saidHarrietinathickandgutturalvoice。
"LadyEnid,Harrietlove,to—night。EurekasaysI’mastral。Oh,Mr。
Towle,whatanhonourtomeetyou——whatanhonourforusall!"
ThegreatTowleduckedandscrapedincabmanfashion。
"Oh,willyoumaterialiseforusto—night?"
"Yes,yes,"criedMrs。Bridgeman,tremblingwithexcitement。"He’spromisedtoaftersupper。Hesayshefeelslessmaterialthen——more/enrapport/withthedearspirits。"
"Howdelightful!Mr。Towle,tellme,doyouagreewithEureka?Iawaityourfiat。AmIastral?"
"Ay,miss,aslikeasnot,"saidthegreatman,twistinghislipsasiftheyheldastrawbetweenthem。"Astral,that’sit。That’sittoaT。"
"ThenI’mLadyEnidThistle,myancestress,who’salwayswithme?"
"Ay,ay!Everybitofher。HerladyshiptoaT。"
Thecompanywasmuchimpressed,andwhispersof"It’sLadyEnid;EurekaandMr。Towlesayit’sherladyshipintheastralplane!"flewlikewildfirethroughtherooms。
AtthispointHarrietBrowne,whowassufficientlyChristianandscientifictoliketohavealltheattentionofthecompanycentreduponher,clearedherthroatloudlyandexclaimed,——
"IfIamtohealthispoorsufferer,Imustbeprovidedwithanarmchair。"
"AnarmchairforMrs。Browne!"
"FetchachairforHarriet!"
"Mrs。Harrietcan’tdemonstratewithoutachair!"
"Whatisshegoingtodo?"whisperedtheProphettoLadyEnid,feelingthoroughlyashamedofhisignorance。
"Demonstrate。"
"Yes,butwhat’sthat?"
"Putherhandsoverthatgirlandthinkabouther。"
"Isthatall?"
"Yes。"
"Doesshedoitoutofkindness?"
"Ofcourse。Butshe’spaidsomething,notbecauseshewantstobepaid,butbecauseit’stherule。"
"Oh!"
Anarmchairwasnowwheeledforward,andMrs。Harrietensconcedherselfinitcomfortably。
"I’mverytiredto—night,"sheremarkedinherthickvoice。"I’vehadahardafternoon。"
"Poordarling!"criedMrs。Bridgeman。"FetchaglassofchampagneforMrs。Harrietsomebody。Oh,wouldyou,Mr。Brummich?"
Mr。Brummich,agentlemanwitharemarkablyfoolish,asceticfaceandafeebly—wanderingsandybeard,wasjustabouttohastenreligiouslytowardstheMoorishnookwhenthegreatTowlehappened,byaccident,togroan。Mrs。Bridgeman,startedandsmiled。
"Oh,andaglassofchampagneforMr。Towle,too,dearMr。Brummich!"
"Certainly,Mrs。Bridgeman!"saiddearMr。Brummich,hurryingoffwiththedemeanouroftheheadofanEmbassyentrustedwithsomeimportantmissiontoaforeignCourt。
"Wereyouatworkthisafternoon,Harriet,beloved?"inquiredMrs。
BridgemanofMrs。Browne,whowasleaningbackinthearmchairwithhereyesclosedandinanattitudeofsevereprostration。
"Yes。"
"Whichwasit,lovebird?HystericHenry?"
"No,he’scured。"
Criesofjoyresoundedfromthosegatheredaboutthechair。
"HystericHenry’scured!"
"Henry’sbetter!"
"Thepoormanwiththeballinhisthroat’sbeensaved!"
"Howwonderfulyouare,Harriet,sweet!"criedMrs。Bridgeman。"But,thenwhichwasit?"
"ThemadwomanatBrussels。I’vebeenthinkingaboutherfortwohoursthisafternoon,withonlyacupofteabetween。"
"Poordarling!Nowonderyou’redoneup!Oughtyoutodemonstrate?Ah!
here’sthechampagne!"
"Itakeitmerelyasmedicine,"saidMrs。Harriet。
Atthismoment,Mr。Brummich,flushedwithassiduity,burstintothecirclewithagobletofbeadedwineineitherhand。TherewasamomentofsolemnsilencewhileMrs。HarrietandthegreatTowlecondescendedtothePommery。Itwasbrokenonlybyaloudgulpfromthehysterical—
lookinggirlwhowas,itseemed,nervouslyaffectedbyanimitativespasm,andwhosuddenlybegantoswallownothingwithextremepersistenceandviolence。
"Lookatthatpoormisguidedsoul!"ejaculatedMrs。Harriet,withherlipstothePommery。"Shefanciesshe’sdrinking!"
Thepoor,misguidedsoul,yieldedagaintoherdistraughtimagination,amidthepitifulejaculationsoftheentirecompany,withtheexceptionofonemundane,youngmanwho,suddenlyassailedbythewildfancythathewasn’tdrinking,creptfurtivelytotheMoorishrook,andwasnomoreseen。
"Giveheracushion!"continuedMrs。Harriet,authoritatively。
"Mr。Brummich!"saidMrs。Bridgeman。
Mr。Brummichran,andreturnedwithacushion。
"Sitdown,poorthing!Sitatmyfeet!"saidMrs。Harriet,givingthehysterical—lookinggirlahealingpush。
Thegirlsubsidedinapiteousheap,andMrs。Harriet,whohadbythistimetakenallhermedicine,leantoverherandinquired,——
"Whered’youfeelit?"
Thegirlputherhandstoherhead。
"Here,"shesaidfeebly。"It’slikefirerunningovermeanddrumsbeating。"
"Fireanddrums!"announcedMrs。Harriettothestaringassembly。
"That’swhatshe’sgot,poorsoul!"
Ejaculationsofsympathyandhorrormadethemselvesheard。
"Drums!Howshocking!"criedMrs。Bridgeman。"Canyoucureevendrums,Harriet,myown?"
"Givemetenminutes,Catherine!Iaskbutthat!"
And,sosaying,Mrs。Harrietplantedherfathandsupontheheadoftheyoungpatient,closedhereyesandbegantobreatheveryhard。
Silencenowfelluponthepeople,whosaidnotaword,butwhocouldnotpreventthemselvesfromrustlingastheypressedaboutthisexhibitionofalatter—dayapostle。TheProphetandLadyEnidwereclosetothearmchair,andtheProphet,whohadneverbeforebeenpresentatanysuchceremony——itwasaccompaniedbythetwentyguitars,nowtearingouttheserenade,"Fromthebull—ringIcometothee!"——wassointerestedthathecompletelyforgotMr。andMadameSagittarius,andlostforthemomentallmemoryofSirTiglath。Thesillylifeengrossedhim。HehadnoeyesforanyonebutMrs。Harriet,who,assheleanedforwardinthechairwithclosedeyes,lookedlikeadeterminedmiddle—
agedmanabouttoofferupthethingirlonthefootstoolasaburntsacrifice。
"You’rebetternow,poorthing,"saidMrs。Harriet,afterfiveminuteshaselapsed。"You’refeelingmuchbetter?"
"Oh,no,I’mnot!"saidthegirl,shakingherheadunderthehandsofthedemonstrator。"Thefire’sblazingandthedrumsarebeatinglikeanything。"
Mrs。Harriet’shuedeepened,andtherewasafaintmurmurofvaguereprooffromthecompany。
"H’sh!"saidthedemonstrator,closingherhandsuponthepatient’sheadwithsomeacrimony。"H’sh!"
Andshebegantobreathehardoncemore。Anotherfiveminuteselapsed,andthenMrs。Harrietexclaimedwithdecision,——
"There!It’sgonenow,allgone!I’vesentitrightaway。Thefire’soutandthedrumshavestoppedbeating!"
Exclamationsofwonderandjoyroseupfromthespectators。Theywere,however,atriflepremature,forthehystericalgirl——whowas,itseemed,apersonofconsiderabledetermination,despiteherfeebleappearance——repliedfromthefootstool,——
"No,itisn’t。Notheyhaven’t!"
Mrs。Harrietdevelopedapurpleshade。
"Nonsense!"shesaid。"You’recured,love,entirelycured!"
"I’mnot,"saidthegirl,beginningtocry。"Ifeelmuchworsesinceyoupressedmyhead。"
Therewasaburstofremonstrancefromthecrowd,andMrs。Harriet,speakingwiththeairofanangrymartyr,remarked,——
"It’sjustlikethedrinking——shefanciessheisn’tcuredwhensheis,justthesameasshefanciedshewasdrinkingwhenshewasn’t。"
Thisunanswerablelogicnaturallycarriedconvictiontoeveryonepresent,andthehystericalgirlwaswarmlyadvisedtomakedueacknowledgementofthebenefitsreceivedbyheratthehealinghandsofMrs。Harriet,whilethelatterwascoveredwithcomplimentsandassiduouslyconductedtowardsthebuffet,escortedbythegreatTowle。
"Isn’tshewonderful?"saidMrs。Bridgeman,turningecstaticallytothepersonnearesttoher,whohappenedtobethesaturninelittleclergyman。"Isn’tshemarvellous,Mr。——er——Mr。Segerteribus?"
"Biggle!"criedthelittleclergyman。
"Ibegyourpardon?"
"Biggle!"vociferatedthelittleclergyman。"Biggle!"
"Certainly。Didyoueverseeanythinglikethatcure?Ah!yououghttopreachaboutdearHarriet,Mr。Segerteribus,youreally——"
"Biggle!"reiteratedthelittleclergyman,excitedly。"Biggle!Biggle!"
"Whatdoeshe——"beganMrs。Bridgeman,turninghelplesslytowardstheProphet。
"It’shisname,Ifancy,"whisperedtheProphet。
Mrs。Bridgemanstartedandsmiled。
"Mr。Biggle,"shesaid。
Thelittleclergymanmovedontowardstheguitarswithalltheairofafuturecolonialbishop。Mrs。Bridgeman,whoseemedtobesomewhatconfused,andwhosemannergrewincreasinglyvagueastheeveningworeon,nowsaidtothosenearesttoher,——
"Therearefifteentablessetout——yes,setout,——inthegreenboudoir。"
"Bedad!"remarkedanIrishcolonel,"thenit’smeself’llenjoyagoodrubber。"
"Fortable—turning,"addedMrs。Bridgeman。"Materialisationinthesameroomaftersupper。Mr。Towle——yes——willenterthecabinetatabouteleven。Where’sMadameCharlotte?"
"LookingintothecrystalforLadyFerrier,"saidsomeone。
"Oh,andtheprofessor?"
"He’sreadingArchdeaconAndrew’snose,bythecloak—room。
Mrs。Bridgemansighed。
"Itseemstobegoingoffquitepleasantly,"shesaidvaguelytotheProphet。"Ithink——perhaps——mightIhaveacupoftea?"
TheProphetofferedhisarm。Mrs。Bridgemantookit。Theywalkedforward,andalmostinstantlycameuponSirTiglathButt,who,withafaceevenredderthanusual,wasrollingawayfromthehalloftheguitars,holdingoneenormoushandtohisearandsnortingindignantlyatthevariousclairvoyants,card—readers,spiritualistsandpalmistswhomheencounteredateverystephetook。TheProphetturnedpale,andLadyEnid,whowasjustbehindhim,putonhermostsensibleexpressionandmovedquicklyforward。
"Ah,SirTiglath!"shesaid。"Howdelightfulofyoutocome!Catherine,dear,letmeintroduceSirTiglathButttoyou。SirTiglathButt——Mrs。
VaneBridgeman。"
Mrs。Bridgemanbehavedasusual。
"Soglad!"shesaid。"Soenchanted!Justafewinterestingpeople。Sogoodofyoutocome。Table—turningis——"
AtthismomentLadyEnidnippedherfriend’sarm,andSirTiglathexclaimed,lookingfromMrs。BridgemantotheProphet,——
"What,madam?Soyou’rethebrainandeye,eh?Isthatit?"
Theguitarsengagedin"TheGipsiesofGranadaarewildasmountainbirds,"andMrs。Bridgemanlookedengaginglydistraught,andreplied,——
"Ah,yes,indeed!ThebrainandI,SirTiglath;sogoodofyoutosayso!"
"Youpromptedhisinterestintheholystars?"continuedSirTiglath,speakingveryloud,andstillstoppingoneearwithhishand。"Youdrovehimtothetelescope;youtoldhimtoclearthematterup,didyou?"
"Whatmatter?"saidMrs。Bridgeman,tryingnottolookasstupidasshefelt,butonlywithmoderatesuccess。
"Saytheoxygen,darling,"whisperedLadyEnidinoneofherears。
"Saytheoxygen!"hissedtheProphetintotheother。
"Theocciput?"saidMrs。Bridgeman,hearingimperfectly。"Oh,yes,SirTiglath,Itoldhim,——ItoldMr。Biggle——tomakequitesure——yes,astotheocciputmatter。"
Thesaturninelittleclergyman,whowasagaininmotionnearby,caughthisnameandstopped,asSirTiglath,roaringagainst"TheGipsiesofGranada,"continued,——