首页 >出版文学> The Prophet of Berkeley Square>第18章
  Theladyinvermilion,whohadatuftofgoldenhairinthemidstofherotherwiseravenlocks,glancedmysteriouslyatMr。Moses。
  "Seeanything,mother?"heasked,withtheatricalsolemnity。"AtinychunkofluckfortrickylittleBriskin?"
  "Idoseesomething,"saidEureka,inadimandheavyvoice。"It’sjustclosetoyouonthattablebythebrandy。"
  Mr。Mosesstarted,andcastaglanceofaweatthetumbler。
  "Myword,"hecried——"myword,mother!What’stheblessedlittlesymbollike?NotaponyfreshfromJerusalemforyourbelievingboy!"
  "Youmustwaitamoment。Itisnotclear,"repliedEureka,slowlyanddreamily,fixingherheavyeyesonthebrandy—and—soda。"It’sallcloudy。"
  "Beenimbibing,mother?Hastheblessedlittlesymbolbeenatitagain?
  Briskin’sshock——shocked!"
  "It’sgettingclearer。Itstandsinabandoffire。"
  "ShadeofShadrach!ApparitionofAbednego!Drawitmildandbitter,mother!"
  "Ah!nowitstepsout。It’sgotahump。"
  "Gotthehump,mother?Myword!thenitmustbeeitheracameloranundischargedbankrupt!Whichisit,prettysoul?"
  "It’sarhinoceros。It’smovingtoyou。"
  "Yokohama,mother!Telltheprettybirdtokeepback!What’sitmean?"
  "It’sasignofplenty。"
  "Plentyofwhat,mother?Thereadyorthenose—bag?Giveusachance!"
  "Plentyofgoodfortune,becauseitsheadistowardsyou。Ifithadpresenteditstail,itwouldmeanblackweather。"
  "Don’tletitturntail,forSaturday’ssake,mother。KeepitsheadstraightwhileIfinishthebrandy!"
  Andsosaying,littleMr。Moses,withelaboratefurtiveness,caughtupthetumbler,poureditscontentsdownhisthroat,andthrewhimselfbackonthedivanwiththeairofamanwhohadjustescapedfromperilbytheconsummatepersonalexerciseofunparalleledandsustainedingenuity。
  DuringthissceneMissMinervahadpreservedherairofpronouncedScottishgoodsense,whilelisteningattentively,andshenowsaidtoEureka,——
  "D’youseeanythingforMr。Vivian,dearEureka?Eventhelittlestthingwouldbewelcomed。"
  EurekastaredupontheProphet,whobegantofeelverynervous。
  "There’ssomethingroundhishead,"sheremarked,withherusualalmostsacredearnestness。
  TheProphetmechanicallyputuphishands,likeamananxioustointerferewiththeassiduousattentionsofaswarmofbees。
  "Somethingrightroundhishead。"
  "Isitahalo?"askedMissMinerva。
  "IsitaLincoln&Bennet,mother?"criedMr。Moses。"Oneoftheshinyones——twenty—onebob,andtwenty—five—and—sixifyouwantakidlining?"
  "No;it’slikesomesortofbird。"
  "’Iheardtheowlbeneathmyeavescomplaining,’"chirpedMr。Moses,takingtwoorthreehighnotesinadelicatetenorvoice。"’Ilookedforth——greatScot!Howitwasraining!’Isitanowl,mother?AskittoscreechtoBriskin。"
  "Itisnoowl,"saidEurekatotheProphet。"Itisasparrow——yourbird。"
  "Isituponthehousetop,mother,havingaspreeallonitslittlealone?"
  "No;itishoveringoverthegentleman。"
  "Whatdoesthatmean?"saidtheProphet,anxiously。
  ButatthispointEurekasuddenlyseemedtoloseinterestinthematter。"Oh,you’reallright,"shesaidcarelessly。"I’mtired。I
  shouldlikeawafer。"
  "Mother’speckish。Mother,Iseeanostrichbyyourleftelbow。That’sasignthatyou’resopeckishyoucouldswallowanything。Waiter!"
  "Sir!"
  "Thislady’ssopeckishshecouldeatanything。Bringhersometin—
  tacksandawafer。Stopasec。AnotherbrandyforBriskin。Yourcalves’ddoforthefrontrow;’ponmyword,theywould。Trot,boy,trot!"
  "Imustspeaktoyoualoneforonemoment,"whisperedtheProphettoMissMinerva,undercoverofthequipsofMr。Moses。"SirTiglath’scoming!"
  MissMinervastarted。
  "SirTig——"sheexclaimedandputherfingertoherlipsjustintimetostopthe"lath"fromcomingout。"Mr。Moses,I’mgoingtothebuffetforamomentwithMr。Vivian。Eureka,darling,doeatsomethingsubstantial!Allthissecondsighttakesitoutofyou。"
  Eurekaacquiescedwithaheavysigh,Mr。Mosescried,"AuntEureka’ssohungrythatonewoulddeclareshecouldeveneatoatsifshefoundtheywerethere!"andMissMinervaandtheProphetmovedlanguidlytowardsthebuffet,endeavouring,bytheindifferenceoftheirmovements,tocovertheagitationintheirhearts。
  "SirTiglathcominghere!"criedMissMinervaunderherbreath,assoonastheywereoutofearshot。"Buthedoesn’tknowMrs。Bridgeman!"
  "Iknow——buthe’scoming。Andnotonlythat,Mr。andMadameSagittariusareherealready!"
  MissMinervalookedcloselyattheProphetinsilenceforamoment。
  Thenshesaid,——
  "Isee——Isee!"
  "What?"criedtheProphet,ingreatanxiety,"notthesparrowonmyhead?"
  "No。ButIseethatyou’retakingtoyourdoublelifeinrealearnest。"
  "I?"
  "Yes。Now,Mr。Vivian,that’sallverywell,andyouknowI’mthelastpersontocomplainofanythingofthatsort,solongasitdoesn’tgetmeintodifficulties。"
  "Thinkofthedifficultiesyouandeveryoneelsehavegotmeinto,"
  ejaculatedthepoorProphet,foronceinhislifestepping,perhaps,ahair’s—breadthfromthepathsofgoodbreeding。
  "Well,I’msureI’vedonenothing。"
  "Nothing!"saidtheProphet,losinghisheadundertheinfluenceoftheguitars,whichwerenowgettingunderwayinafantasiaon"Carmen。"
  "Nothing!Why,youmademecomehere,youinsistedonmyintroducingMr。SagittariustoMrs。Bridgeman,youtoldSirTiglathMrs。BridgemanandIwereoldfriendsandhadmadeinvestigationstogether,assistedbyMr。Sagittarius,you——"
  "Oh,well,that’snothing。ButSirTiglathmustn’tseemehereasMissMinerva。Hashearrivedyet?"
  "Idon’tthinkso。He’sgotthecabwehadyesterdayandthehorse。"
  "Theonethattumblesdownsocleverlywhenit’snottootired?
  Capital!Runtothecloak—room,meetSirTiglaththere,andpersuadehimtogohome。"
  ButheretheProphetstruck。
  "IregretIcan’t,"hesaid,almostfirmly。
  "Butyoumust。"
  "IregretsincerelythatIamunable。"
  "Why?Mr。Vivian,whenaladyasksyou!"
  "Iamgrieved,"saidtheProphet,withaspeciesofintoxicatedobstinacy——theguitarsseemedtobeplayinginsidehisbrainandtheflutepipinginthesmallofhisback,——"todecline,butIcannotcontendphysicallywithSirTiglath,amanwhomIreverence,inthecloak—roomofatotalstranger。"
  "Idon’taskyoutocontendphysically。"
  "NothingbutpersonalviolencewouldkeepSirTiglathfromcomingin。"
  "Really!Thenwhat’stobedone?"
  Shepurseduphersensiblelipsanddrewdownhersensibleeyebrows。
  "Iknow!"shecried,afteramoment’sthought。"I’llmasqueradeto—nightasmyself。"
  "Asyourself?"
  "Yes。AllthesedearsillypeopleherethinkthatI’vegotanastralbody。"
  "What’sthat?"
  "Asortoffloatingbusiness——abusinessthatyoucansetfloating。"
  "What——acompany?"
  "No,no。Areplicaofyourself。ThegreatTowle——"
  "He’shereto—night。"
  "Iknewhewascoming。Well,thegreatTowledetachedthisastralbodyonceatas閍nceand,forajoke——asillyjoke,youknow——"
  "Yes,yes。"
  "Ichristeneditbymyrealname,LadyEnidThistle,andsaidLadyEnidwasanancestressofmine。"
  "Whydidyou?"
  "Becauseitwassoidiotic。"
  "Isee。"
  "Well,I’veonlynowtospreadareportamongthesedearcreaturesthatI’mastralto—night,andgetTowletobackmeup,andIcaneasilybeLadyEnidforanhourortwo。InthiscrowdSirTiglathneedneverfindoutthatI’mgenerallyknowninthesecirclesasMissPartridge。"
  "Doyoureallythink——"
  "Yes,Ido。ButImustfindTowleatonce。"
  Sosayingshehastenedawayfromthebuffet,followedbythetrottingProphet。AsshepassedEurekaandMr。Moses,shesaid,——
  "Eureka,darling,doIlookodd?IsuddenlybegantofeelastraljustasIwasgoingtoeatasandwich。Ican’thelpthinkingthatLadyEnid——youknow,myastralancestress,who’salwayswithme——ispeculiarlypowerfulto—night。D’younoticeanything?"
  "Watchoutforit,mother!"criedMr。Moses。"Seeifit’sgotthelump。"
  EurekafixedherheavyeyesonMissMinervaandswayedherthinbodytoandfroinaspanther—likeamannerasshecouldmanage。
  "Mother’safterit,"continuedMr。Moses,twitchinghisleftearwithhisthumbinaHebraicmannerandshootinghisshiningcuffs;"mother’sonthetrail。Dovesforabishopandthelittlemangel—wurzelforthelabouringman。Clevermother!She’lltakecareit’ssuitable。Isitahaggis,mother,hoveringovertheladywithoutspreadwings?"
  Eurekaclosedhereyesandrockedherselfmoreviolently。
  "Iseeyou,"shesaidinadeepvoice。"Youareastral。YouareLadyEnidemergedforanhourfromourdearMinerva。"
  "Ithoughtso,"criedLadyEnid,withdecision。"Ithoughtso,becausewhensomeonecalledmeMissMinervajustnowIfeltangry,anddidn’tseemtoknowwhattheymeant。Tellthem,dearEureka,——tellallmyfriendsofyourdiscovery。"
  AndshehastenedonwiththeProphetinsearchofthegreatTowle。
  "I’llgethimtobackEurekaup,andthenitwillbequitesafe,"shesaid。"Ah!thereheiswithHarrietBrowne,thedemonstratorfromtheRye。"
  Indeed,atthismomentasmallcrowdwasvisibleinoneofthefurtherdrawing—rooms,movingobsequiouslyalonginreverentattendanceuponthegreatTowle,Mrs。Bridgemanandathickset,red—facedlady,withoutawaistandplainlycladinuntrimmedlinsey—wolsey,whowasspeakingauthoritativelytoahysterical—lookingyounggirl,uponwhosenarrowshouldersherestedaheavy,fat—fingeredhandasshewalked。
  "Harriet’sevidentlygoingtodemonstrate,"addedLadyEnid。"That’slucky,becausethenIcangetaquietwordwithTowle。"
  "Demonstrate?"saidtheProphet。
  "Yes。She’sthegreatChristianScientistandhasthehealingpower。
  ShedemonstratedoverAgathaMarshall’sleftear。Youknow。Thecasegotintothepapers。Ah,Harriet,darling!"
  "Myblessing!MyMinerva!"saidHarrietinathickandgutturalvoice。
  "LadyEnid,Harrietlove,to—night。EurekasaysI’mastral。Oh,Mr。
  Towle,whatanhonourtomeetyou——whatanhonourforusall!"
  ThegreatTowleduckedandscrapedincabmanfashion。
  "Oh,willyoumaterialiseforusto—night?"
  "Yes,yes,"criedMrs。Bridgeman,tremblingwithexcitement。"He’spromisedtoaftersupper。Hesayshefeelslessmaterialthen——more/enrapport/withthedearspirits。"
  "Howdelightful!Mr。Towle,tellme,doyouagreewithEureka?Iawaityourfiat。AmIastral?"
  "Ay,miss,aslikeasnot,"saidthegreatman,twistinghislipsasiftheyheldastrawbetweenthem。"Astral,that’sit。That’sittoaT。"
  "ThenI’mLadyEnidThistle,myancestress,who’salwayswithme?"
  "Ay,ay!Everybitofher。HerladyshiptoaT。"
  Thecompanywasmuchimpressed,andwhispersof"It’sLadyEnid;EurekaandMr。Towlesayit’sherladyshipintheastralplane!"flewlikewildfirethroughtherooms。
  AtthispointHarrietBrowne,whowassufficientlyChristianandscientifictoliketohavealltheattentionofthecompanycentreduponher,clearedherthroatloudlyandexclaimed,——
  "IfIamtohealthispoorsufferer,Imustbeprovidedwithanarmchair。"
  "AnarmchairforMrs。Browne!"
  "FetchachairforHarriet!"
  "Mrs。Harrietcan’tdemonstratewithoutachair!"
  "Whatisshegoingtodo?"whisperedtheProphettoLadyEnid,feelingthoroughlyashamedofhisignorance。
  "Demonstrate。"
  "Yes,butwhat’sthat?"
  "Putherhandsoverthatgirlandthinkabouther。"
  "Isthatall?"
  "Yes。"
  "Doesshedoitoutofkindness?"
  "Ofcourse。Butshe’spaidsomething,notbecauseshewantstobepaid,butbecauseit’stherule。"
  "Oh!"
  Anarmchairwasnowwheeledforward,andMrs。Harrietensconcedherselfinitcomfortably。
  "I’mverytiredto—night,"sheremarkedinherthickvoice。"I’vehadahardafternoon。"
  "Poordarling!"criedMrs。Bridgeman。"FetchaglassofchampagneforMrs。Harrietsomebody。Oh,wouldyou,Mr。Brummich?"
  Mr。Brummich,agentlemanwitharemarkablyfoolish,asceticfaceandafeebly—wanderingsandybeard,wasjustabouttohastenreligiouslytowardstheMoorishnookwhenthegreatTowlehappened,byaccident,togroan。Mrs。Bridgeman,startedandsmiled。
  "Oh,andaglassofchampagneforMr。Towle,too,dearMr。Brummich!"
  "Certainly,Mrs。Bridgeman!"saiddearMr。Brummich,hurryingoffwiththedemeanouroftheheadofanEmbassyentrustedwithsomeimportantmissiontoaforeignCourt。
  "Wereyouatworkthisafternoon,Harriet,beloved?"inquiredMrs。
  BridgemanofMrs。Browne,whowasleaningbackinthearmchairwithhereyesclosedandinanattitudeofsevereprostration。
  "Yes。"
  "Whichwasit,lovebird?HystericHenry?"
  "No,he’scured。"
  Criesofjoyresoundedfromthosegatheredaboutthechair。
  "HystericHenry’scured!"
  "Henry’sbetter!"
  "Thepoormanwiththeballinhisthroat’sbeensaved!"
  "Howwonderfulyouare,Harriet,sweet!"criedMrs。Bridgeman。"But,thenwhichwasit?"
  "ThemadwomanatBrussels。I’vebeenthinkingaboutherfortwohoursthisafternoon,withonlyacupofteabetween。"
  "Poordarling!Nowonderyou’redoneup!Oughtyoutodemonstrate?Ah!
  here’sthechampagne!"
  "Itakeitmerelyasmedicine,"saidMrs。Harriet。
  Atthismoment,Mr。Brummich,flushedwithassiduity,burstintothecirclewithagobletofbeadedwineineitherhand。TherewasamomentofsolemnsilencewhileMrs。HarrietandthegreatTowlecondescendedtothePommery。Itwasbrokenonlybyaloudgulpfromthehysterical—
  lookinggirlwhowas,itseemed,nervouslyaffectedbyanimitativespasm,andwhosuddenlybegantoswallownothingwithextremepersistenceandviolence。
  "Lookatthatpoormisguidedsoul!"ejaculatedMrs。Harriet,withherlipstothePommery。"Shefanciesshe’sdrinking!"
  Thepoor,misguidedsoul,yieldedagaintoherdistraughtimagination,amidthepitifulejaculationsoftheentirecompany,withtheexceptionofonemundane,youngmanwho,suddenlyassailedbythewildfancythathewasn’tdrinking,creptfurtivelytotheMoorishrook,andwasnomoreseen。
  "Giveheracushion!"continuedMrs。Harriet,authoritatively。
  "Mr。Brummich!"saidMrs。Bridgeman。
  Mr。Brummichran,andreturnedwithacushion。
  "Sitdown,poorthing!Sitatmyfeet!"saidMrs。Harriet,givingthehysterical—lookinggirlahealingpush。
  Thegirlsubsidedinapiteousheap,andMrs。Harriet,whohadbythistimetakenallhermedicine,leantoverherandinquired,——
  "Whered’youfeelit?"
  Thegirlputherhandstoherhead。
  "Here,"shesaidfeebly。"It’slikefirerunningovermeanddrumsbeating。"
  "Fireanddrums!"announcedMrs。Harriettothestaringassembly。
  "That’swhatshe’sgot,poorsoul!"
  Ejaculationsofsympathyandhorrormadethemselvesheard。
  "Drums!Howshocking!"criedMrs。Bridgeman。"Canyoucureevendrums,Harriet,myown?"
  "Givemetenminutes,Catherine!Iaskbutthat!"
  And,sosaying,Mrs。Harrietplantedherfathandsupontheheadoftheyoungpatient,closedhereyesandbegantobreatheveryhard。
  Silencenowfelluponthepeople,whosaidnotaword,butwhocouldnotpreventthemselvesfromrustlingastheypressedaboutthisexhibitionofalatter—dayapostle。TheProphetandLadyEnidwereclosetothearmchair,andtheProphet,whohadneverbeforebeenpresentatanysuchceremony——itwasaccompaniedbythetwentyguitars,nowtearingouttheserenade,"Fromthebull—ringIcometothee!"——wassointerestedthathecompletelyforgotMr。andMadameSagittarius,andlostforthemomentallmemoryofSirTiglath。Thesillylifeengrossedhim。HehadnoeyesforanyonebutMrs。Harriet,who,assheleanedforwardinthechairwithclosedeyes,lookedlikeadeterminedmiddle—
  agedmanabouttoofferupthethingirlonthefootstoolasaburntsacrifice。
  "You’rebetternow,poorthing,"saidMrs。Harriet,afterfiveminuteshaselapsed。"You’refeelingmuchbetter?"
  "Oh,no,I’mnot!"saidthegirl,shakingherheadunderthehandsofthedemonstrator。"Thefire’sblazingandthedrumsarebeatinglikeanything。"
  Mrs。Harriet’shuedeepened,andtherewasafaintmurmurofvaguereprooffromthecompany。
  "H’sh!"saidthedemonstrator,closingherhandsuponthepatient’sheadwithsomeacrimony。"H’sh!"
  Andshebegantobreathehardoncemore。Anotherfiveminuteselapsed,andthenMrs。Harrietexclaimedwithdecision,——
  "There!It’sgonenow,allgone!I’vesentitrightaway。Thefire’soutandthedrumshavestoppedbeating!"
  Exclamationsofwonderandjoyroseupfromthespectators。Theywere,however,atriflepremature,forthehystericalgirl——whowas,itseemed,apersonofconsiderabledetermination,despiteherfeebleappearance——repliedfromthefootstool,——
  "No,itisn’t。Notheyhaven’t!"
  Mrs。Harrietdevelopedapurpleshade。
  "Nonsense!"shesaid。"You’recured,love,entirelycured!"
  "I’mnot,"saidthegirl,beginningtocry。"Ifeelmuchworsesinceyoupressedmyhead。"
  Therewasaburstofremonstrancefromthecrowd,andMrs。Harriet,speakingwiththeairofanangrymartyr,remarked,——
  "It’sjustlikethedrinking——shefanciessheisn’tcuredwhensheis,justthesameasshefanciedshewasdrinkingwhenshewasn’t。"
  Thisunanswerablelogicnaturallycarriedconvictiontoeveryonepresent,andthehystericalgirlwaswarmlyadvisedtomakedueacknowledgementofthebenefitsreceivedbyheratthehealinghandsofMrs。Harriet,whilethelatterwascoveredwithcomplimentsandassiduouslyconductedtowardsthebuffet,escortedbythegreatTowle。
  "Isn’tshewonderful?"saidMrs。Bridgeman,turningecstaticallytothepersonnearesttoher,whohappenedtobethesaturninelittleclergyman。"Isn’tshemarvellous,Mr。——er——Mr。Segerteribus?"
  "Biggle!"criedthelittleclergyman。
  "Ibegyourpardon?"
  "Biggle!"vociferatedthelittleclergyman。"Biggle!"
  "Certainly。Didyoueverseeanythinglikethatcure?Ah!yououghttopreachaboutdearHarriet,Mr。Segerteribus,youreally——"
  "Biggle!"reiteratedthelittleclergyman,excitedly。"Biggle!Biggle!"
  "Whatdoeshe——"beganMrs。Bridgeman,turninghelplesslytowardstheProphet。
  "It’shisname,Ifancy,"whisperedtheProphet。
  Mrs。Bridgemanstartedandsmiled。
  "Mr。Biggle,"shesaid。
  Thelittleclergymanmovedontowardstheguitarswithalltheairofafuturecolonialbishop。Mrs。Bridgeman,whoseemedtobesomewhatconfused,andwhosemannergrewincreasinglyvagueastheeveningworeon,nowsaidtothosenearesttoher,——
  "Therearefifteentablessetout——yes,setout,——inthegreenboudoir。"
  "Bedad!"remarkedanIrishcolonel,"thenit’smeself’llenjoyagoodrubber。"
  "Fortable—turning,"addedMrs。Bridgeman。"Materialisationinthesameroomaftersupper。Mr。Towle——yes——willenterthecabinetatabouteleven。Where’sMadameCharlotte?"
  "LookingintothecrystalforLadyFerrier,"saidsomeone。
  "Oh,andtheprofessor?"
  "He’sreadingArchdeaconAndrew’snose,bythecloak—room。
  Mrs。Bridgemansighed。
  "Itseemstobegoingoffquitepleasantly,"shesaidvaguelytotheProphet。"Ithink——perhaps——mightIhaveacupoftea?"
  TheProphetofferedhisarm。Mrs。Bridgemantookit。Theywalkedforward,andalmostinstantlycameuponSirTiglathButt,who,withafaceevenredderthanusual,wasrollingawayfromthehalloftheguitars,holdingoneenormoushandtohisearandsnortingindignantlyatthevariousclairvoyants,card—readers,spiritualistsandpalmistswhomheencounteredateverystephetook。TheProphetturnedpale,andLadyEnid,whowasjustbehindhim,putonhermostsensibleexpressionandmovedquicklyforward。
  "Ah,SirTiglath!"shesaid。"Howdelightfulofyoutocome!Catherine,dear,letmeintroduceSirTiglathButttoyou。SirTiglathButt——Mrs。
  VaneBridgeman。"
  Mrs。Bridgemanbehavedasusual。
  "Soglad!"shesaid。"Soenchanted!Justafewinterestingpeople。Sogoodofyoutocome。Table—turningis——"
  AtthismomentLadyEnidnippedherfriend’sarm,andSirTiglathexclaimed,lookingfromMrs。BridgemantotheProphet,——
  "What,madam?Soyou’rethebrainandeye,eh?Isthatit?"
  Theguitarsengagedin"TheGipsiesofGranadaarewildasmountainbirds,"andMrs。Bridgemanlookedengaginglydistraught,andreplied,——
  "Ah,yes,indeed!ThebrainandI,SirTiglath;sogoodofyoutosayso!"
  "Youpromptedhisinterestintheholystars?"continuedSirTiglath,speakingveryloud,andstillstoppingoneearwithhishand。"Youdrovehimtothetelescope;youtoldhimtoclearthematterup,didyou?"
  "Whatmatter?"saidMrs。Bridgeman,tryingnottolookasstupidasshefelt,butonlywithmoderatesuccess。
  "Saytheoxygen,darling,"whisperedLadyEnidinoneofherears。
  "Saytheoxygen!"hissedtheProphetintotheother。
  "Theocciput?"saidMrs。Bridgeman,hearingimperfectly。"Oh,yes,SirTiglath,Itoldhim,——ItoldMr。Biggle——tomakequitesure——yes,astotheocciputmatter。"
  Thesaturninelittleclergyman,whowasagaininmotionnearby,caughthisnameandstopped,asSirTiglath,roaringagainst"TheGipsiesofGranada,"continued,——