Artfulasshewas,Mrs。Tenbruggenfailedtoconcealamomentaryexpressionofreliefwhichbetrayeditself,partlyinhermanner,partlyinherface。Shehadascertained,toherowncompletesatisfaction,thatmyspeedydeparturewasaneventwhichmightbereliedon。
"ButIhavenotyetansweredyou,"sheresumed。"Totellthetruth,Iameagertotrymyhandsonyou。Massage,asIpracticeit,wouldlightenyourweight,andrestoreyourfigure;Imayevensaywouldlengthenyourlife。Youwillthinkofme,oneofthesedays,won’tyou?Inthemeanwhile——yes!Iamhereinmyprofessionalcapacity。Severalinterestingcases;andoneveryremarkableperson,broughttodeath’sdoorbythedoctors;arichmanwhoisliberalinpayinghisfees。ThereismyquarrelwithLondonandLondoners。Someoftheirpapers,medicalnewspapers,ofcourse,declarethatmyfeesareexorbitant;andthereisatendencyamongthepatients——Imeanthepatientswhoarerollinginriches——tofollowtheleadofthenewspapers。Iamnowormtobetroddenon,inthatway。TheLondonpeopleshallwaitforme,untiltheymissme——and,whenIdogoback,theywillfindthefeesincreased。_My_fingersandthumbs,Mr。Governor,arenottobeinsultedwithimpunity。"
MissJillgallnoddedherheadatme。Itwasaneloquentnod。
"Admiremyspiritedfriend,"wastheinterpretationIputonit。
Atthesametime,myprivatesentimentssuggestedthatMrs。
Tenbruggen’sreplywastooperfectlysatisfactory,viewedasanexplanation。Mysuspicionswerebynomeanssetatrest;andI
wasresolvednottoletthesubjectdropyet。"SpeakingofMr。
Gracedieu,andofthechancesofhispartialrecovery,"Isaid,"doyouthinktheMinisterwouldbenefitbyMassage?"
"Ihaven’tadoubtofit,ifyoucangetridofthedoctor。"
"Youthinkhewouldbeanobstacleintheway?"
"Therearesomemedicalmenwhoarehonorableexceptionstothegeneralrule;andhemaybeoneofthem,"Mrs。Tenbruggenadmitted。"Don’tbetoohopeful。Asadoctor,hebelongstothemosttyrannicaltrades—unioninexistence。MayImakeapersonalremark?"
"Certainly。"
"Ifindsomethinginyourmanner——praydon’tsupposethatIamangry——whichlookslikedistrust;Imean,distrustofMe。"
MissJillgall’severreadykindnessinterferedinmydefense:
"Oh,no,Elizabeth!Youarenotoftenmistaken;butindeedyouarewrongnow。Lookatmydistinguishedfriend。Iremembermycopybook,whenIwasasmallcreaturelearningtowrite,inEngland。Therewerefirstlinesthatwecopied,inbigletters,andoneofthemsaid,’DistrustIsMean。’Iknowayoungperson,whosenamebeginswithH,whoisonemassofmeanness。
But"——excellentSelinapaused,andpointedtomewithagestureoftriumph——"nomeannessthere!"
Mrs。TenbruggenwaitedtohearwhatIhadtosay,scornfullyinsensibletoMissJillgall’swell—meantinterruption。
"Youarenotaltogethermistaken,"Itoldher。"Ican’tsaythatmymindisinastateofdistrust,butIownthatyoupuzzleme。"
"How,ifyouplease?"
"MayIpresumethatyouremembertheoccasionwhenwemetatMr。
Gracedieu’shouse—door?YousawthatIfailedtorecognizeyou,andyourefusedtogiveyournamewhentheservantaskedforit。
Afewdaysafterward,Iheardyou(quiteaccidentally)forbidMissJillgalltomentionyournameinmyhearing。Iamatalosstounderstandit。"
Beforeshecouldanswerme,thechaisedrewupatthegateofthefarmhouse。Mrs。Tenbruggencarefullypromisedtoexplainwhathadpuzzledme,atthefirstopportunity。"Ifitescapesmymemory,"
shesaid,"prayremindmeofit。"
Ideterminedtoremindherofit。WhetherIcoulddependonhertotellmethetruth,mightbequiteanotherthing。
CHAPTERXLVIII
THEDECISIONOFEUNICE。
EUNICEranouttomeetus,andopenedthegate。ShewasinstantlyfoldedinMissJillgall’sarms。Onherrelease,shecametome,eagerfornewsofherfather’shealth。WhenIhadcommunicatedallthatIthoughtitrighttotellherofthedoctor’slastreport,shenoticedMrs。Tenbruggen。Theappearanceofastrangerseemedtoembarrassher。IleftMissJillgalltointroducethemtoeachother。
"DarlingEuneece,yourememberMrs。Tenbruggen’sname,Iamsure?
Elizabeth,thisismysweetgirl;Imentionedherinmyletterstoyou。"
"Ihopeshewillbe_my_sweetgirl,whenweknoweachotheralittlebetter。MayIkissyou,dear?Youhavelovelyeyes;butI
amsorrytoseethattheydon’tlooklikehappyeyes。YouwantMammaTenbruggentocheeryou。Whatacharmingoldhouse!"
SheputherarmroundEunice’swaistandledhertothehousedoor。Herenjoymentofthecreepersthattwinedtheirwayupthepillarsoftheporchwassimplyperfectionasapieceofacting。
Whenthefarmer’swifepresentedherself,Mrs。Tenbruggenwassoirresistiblyamiable,andtooksuchflatteringnoticeofthechildren,thattheharmlessBritishmatronactuallyblushedwithpleasure。"I’msure,ma’am,youmusthavechildrenofyourown,"
shesaid。Mrs。Tenbruggencasthereyesonthefloor,andsighedwithpatheticresignation。Asweetlittlefamily,andallcruellysweptawaybydeath。Iftheperformancemeantanything,itdidmostassuredlymeanthat。
"Whatwonderfulself—possession!"somebodywhisperedinmyear。
Thechildrenintheroomwerehealthy,well—behavedlittlecreatures——butthenameoftheinnocentoneamongthemwasSelina。
Beforedinnerwewereshownoverthefarm。
Thegoodwomanofthehouseledtheway,andMissJillgallandI
accompaniedher。Thechildrenranoninfrontofus。StillkeepingpossessionofEunice,Mrs。Tenbruggenfollowedatsomedistancebehind。Ilookedback,afternoverylonginterval,andsawthataseparationhadtakenplace。Mrs。Tenbruggenpassedme,notlookingsopleasantlyasusual,joinedthechildren,andwalkedwithtwoofthem,handinhand,apatternofmaternalamiability。Idroppedbackalittle,andgaveEuniceanopportunityofjoiningme;havingpurposelylefthertoformherownopinion,withoutanyadverseinfluenceexercisedonmypart。
"Isthatladyafriendofyours?"sheasked。"No;onlyanacquaintance。Whatdoyouthinkofher?"
"IthoughtIshouldlikeheratfirst;shewassokind,andseemedtotakesuchaninterestinme。Butshesaidsuchstrangethings——askedifIwasreckonedlikemymother,andwhichofuswastheeldest,mysisterormyself,andwhetherweweremyfather’sonlytwochildren,andifoneofuswasmorehisfavoritethantheother。WhatIcouldtellher,Ididtell。ButwhenIsaidIdidn’tknowwhichofuswastheoldest,shegavemeanimpudenttaponthecheek,andsaid,’Idon’tbelieveyou,child,’andleftme。HowcanSelinabesofondofher?Don’tmentionittoanyoneelse;IhopeIshallneverseeheragain。"
"Iwillkeepyoursecret,Eunice;andyoumustkeepmine。I
entirelyagreewithyou。"
"Youagreewithmeindislikingher?"
"Heartily。"
Wecouldsaynomoreatthattime。Ourfriendsinadvancewerewaitingforus。Wejoinedthematonce。
IfIhadfeltanydoubtofthepurposewhichhadreallyinducedMrs。TenbruggentoleaveLondon,allfurtheruncertaintyonmypartwasatanend。ShehadsomevileinterestofherowntoservebyidentifyingMr。Gracedieu’sadoptedchild——butwhatthenatureofthatinterestmightbe,itwasimpossibletoguess。Thefuture,whenIthoughtofitnow,filledmewithdismay。Amoreutterlyhelplesspositionthanmineitwasnoteasytoconceive。
TowarntheMinister,inhispresentcriticalstateofhealth,wassimplyimpossible。MyrelationswithHelenaforbademeeventoapproachher。And,asforSelina,shewaslittlelessthanameretoolinthehandsofherwell—belovedfriend。What,inGod’sname,wasItodo?
Atdinner—timewefoundthemasterofthehousewaitingtobiduswelcome。
Personallyspeaking,hepresentedaremarkablecontrasttothetypicalBritishfarmer。Hewasneitherbignorburly;hespokeEnglishaswellasIdid;andtherewasnothinginhisdresswhichwouldhavemadehimafitsubjectforapictureofrusticlife。Whenhespoke,hewasabletotalkonsubjectsunconnectedwithagriculturalpursuits;nordidIhearhimgrumbleabouttheweatherandthecrops。Itwaspleasanttoseethathiswifewasproudofhim,andthathewas,whatallfathersoughttobe,hischildren’sbestanddearestfriend。WhydoIdwellonthesedetails,relatingtoamanwhomIwasnotdestinedtoseeagain?
OnlybecauseIhadreasontofeelgratefultohim。Whenmyspiritsweredepressedbyanxiety,hemademymindeasyaboutEunice,aslongassheremainedinhishouse。
Thesocialarrangements,whenourmealwasover,fellofthemselvesintotherighttrain。
MissJillgallwentupstairs,withthemotherandthechildren,toseethenurseryandthebedrooms。Mrs。Tenbruggendiscoveredabondofunionbetweenthefarmerandherself;theywerebothskilledplayersatbackgammon,andtheysatdowntotryconclusionsattheirfavoritegame。Withoutanywearisomenecessityforexcusesorstratagems,Eunicetookmyarmandledmetothewelcomeretirementofherownsitting—room。
Icouldhonestlycongratulateher,whenIheardthatshewasestablishedatthefarmasamemberofthefamily。Whileshewasgovernesstothechildren,shewassafefromdangersthatmighthavethreatenedher,ifshehadbeencompelledbycircumstancestoreturntotheMinister’shouse。
TheentryinherJournal,whichshewasanxiousthatIshouldread,wasplacedbeforemenext。
Ifollowedthepoorchild’saccountofthefearfulnightthatshehadpassed,withaninterestthatheldmebreathlesstotheend。
Aterribledream,whichhadimpressedasenseofitsrealityonthesleeperbyreachingitsclimaxinsomnambulism——thiswastheobviousexplanation,nodoubt;andarationalmindwouldnothesitatetoacceptit。Butarationalmindisnotauniversalgift,eveninacountrywhichpridesitselfontheidol—worshipofFact。Thosegoodfriendswhoarealwaysbetteracquaintedwithourfaults,failings,andweaknessesthanwecanpretendtobeourselves,hadlongsincediscoveredthatmynaturewassuperstitious,andmyimaginationlikelytomisleadmeinthepresenceofeventswhichencouragedit。Well!IwasweakenoughtorecoilfromthepurelyrationalviewofallthatEunicehadsuffered,andheard,andseen,onthefatefulnightrecordedinherJournal。GoodandEvilwalkthewaysofthisunintelligibleworld,onthesamefreeconditions。Ifwecling,asmanyofusdo,tothecomfortingbeliefthatdepartedspiritscanministertoearthlycreaturesforgood——canbefeltmovinginus,inatrainofthought,andseenasvisiblemanifestations,inadream——withwhatpretenseofreasoncanwedenythatthesamefreedomofsupernaturalinfluencewhichisconcededtothedepartedspirit,workingforgood,isalsopermittedtothedepartedspirit,workingforevil?Ifthegravecannotwhollypartmotherandchild,whenthemother’slifehasbeengood,doeseternalannihilationseparatethem,whenthemother’slifehasbeenwicked?No!Ifthedepartedspiritcanbringwithitablessing,thedepartedspiritcanbringwithitacurse。IdarednotconfesstoEunicethattheinfluenceofhermurderess—mothermight,asIthoughtpossible,havebeensupernaturallypresentwhensheheardtemptationwhisperinginherear;butIdarednotdenyittomyself。AllthatIcouldsaytosatisfyandsustainher,Ididsay。AndwhenIdeclared——withmywholeheartdeclared——thatthenoblepassionwhichhadelevatedherwholebeing,andhadtriumphedoverthesoresttrialsthatdesertioncouldinflict,wouldstilltriumphtotheend,Isawhope,inthatbraveandtrueheart,showingitsbrightpromiseforthefutureinEunice’seyes。
SheclosedandlockedherJournal。Bycommonconsentwesoughtthereliefofchangingthesubject。EuniceaskedmeifitwasreallynecessarythatIshouldreturntoLondon。
IshrankfromtellingherthatIcouldbeofnofurtherusetoherfather,whileheregardedmewithanenmitywhichIhadnotdeserved。ButIsawnoreasonforconcealingthatitwasmypurposetoseePhilipDunboyne。
"Youtoldmeyesterday,"Iremindedher,"thatIwastosayyouhadforgivenhim。Doyoustillwishmetodothat?"
"IndeedIdo!"
"Haveyouthoughtofitseriously?Areyousureofnothavingbeenhurriedbyagenerousimpulseintosayingmorethanyoumean?"
"Ihavebeenthinkingofit,"shesaid,"throughthewakefulhoursoflastnight——andmanythingsareplaintome,whichIwasnotsureofinthetimewhenIwassohappy。Hehascausedmethebitterestsorrowofmylife,buthecan’tundothegoodthatI
owetohim。Hehasmadeabettergirlofme,inthetimewhenhislovewasmine。Idon’tforgetthat。Miserablyasithasended,I
don’tforgetthat。"
Hervoicetrembled;thetearsroseinhereyes。ItwasimpossibleformetoconcealthedistressthatIfelt。Thenoblecreaturesawit。"No,"shesaidfaintly;"Iamnotgoingtocry。Don’tlooksosorryforme。"Herhandpressedmyhandgently——_she_
pitied_me。_WhenIsawhowshestruggledtocontrolherself,anddidcontrolherself,IdeclaretoGodIcouldhavegonedownonmykneesbeforeher。
SheaskedtobeallowedtospeakofPhilipagain,andforthelasttime。
"WhenyoumeetwithhiminLondon,hemayperhapsaskifyouhaveseenEunice。"
"Mychild!heissuretoask。"
"Breakittohimgently——butdon’tlethimdeceivehimself。Inthisworld,hemustneverhopetoseemeagain。"
Itried——verygently——toremonstrate。"Atyourage,andathisage,"Isaid,"surelythereishope?"
"Thereisnohope。"Shepressedherhandonherheart。"Iknowit,Ifeelit,here。"
"Oh,Eunice,it’shardformetosaythat!"
"Iwilltrytomakeiteasierforyou。SaythatIhaveforgivenhim——andsaynomore。"
CHAPTERXLIX。
THEGOVERNORONHISGUARD。
AFTERleavingEunice,myonedesirewastobealone。Ihadmuchtothinkof,andIwantedanopportunityofrecoveringmyself。Onmywayoutofthehouse,insearchofthefirstsolitaryplacethatIcoulddiscover,Ipassedtheroominwhichwehaddined。
Thedoorwasajar。BeforeIcouldgetbyit,Mrs。Tenbruggensteppedoutandstoppedme。
"Willyoucomeinhereforamoment?"shesaid。"Thefarmerhasbeencalledaway,andIwanttospeaktoyou。"
Veryunwillingly——buthowcouldIhaverefusedwithoutgivingoffense?——Ienteredtheroom。
"Whenyounoticedmykeepingmynamefromyou,"Mrs。Tenbruggenbegan,"whileSelinawaswithus,youplacedmeinanawkwardposition。Ourlittlefriendisanexcellentcreature,buthertonguerunsawaywithhersometimes;Iamobligedtobecarefuloftakinghertooreadilyintomyconfidence。Forinstance,I
havenevertoldherwhatmynamewasbeforeImarried。Won’tyousitdown?"
Ihadpurposelyremainedstandingasahinttohernottoprolongtheinterview。Thehintwasthrownaway;Itookachair。
"Selina’slettershadinformedme,"sheresumed,"thatMr。
Gracedieuwasanervousinvalid。WhenIcametoEngland,IhadhopedtotrywhatMassagemightdotorelievehim。ThecureoftheirpopularpreachermighthaveadvertisedmethroughthewholeoftheCongregationalsect。ItwasessentialtomysuccessthatI
shouldpresentmyselfasastranger。Icouldtrusttimeandchange,andmymarriedname(certainlynotknowntoMr。
Gracedieu)tokeepupmyincognito。HewouldhaverefusedtoseemeifhehadknownthatIwasonceMissChance。"
Ibegantobeinterested。
Herewasanopportunity,perhaps,ofdiscoveringwhattheMinisterhadfailedtorememberwhenhehadbeenspeakingofthiswoman,andwhenIhadaskedifhehadeveroffendedher。Iwasespeciallycarefulinmakingmyinquiries。
"IrememberhowyouspoketoMr。Gracedieu,"Isaid,"whenyouandhemet,longago,inmyrooms。Butsurelyyoudon’tthinkhimcapableofvindictivelyrememberingsomethoughtlesswords,whichescapedyousixteenorseventeenyearssince?"
"Iamnotquitesuchafoolasthat,Mr。Governor。WhatIwasthinkingofwasanunpleasantcorrespondencebetweentheMinisterandmyself。BeforeIwassounfortunateastomeetwithMr。
Tenbruggen,IobtainedachanceofemploymentinapublicInstitution,onconditionthatIincludedaclergymanamongmyreferences。KnowingnobodyelsewhomIcouldapplyto,IrashlywrotetoMr。Gracedieu,andreceivedoneofthosecoldandcruelrefusalswhichonlythestrictestreligiousprinciplecanproduce。Iwasmortallyoffendedatthetime;andifyourfriendtheMinisterhadbeenwithinmyreach——"Shepaused,andfinishedthesentencebyasignificantgesture。
"Well,"Isaid,"heiswithinyourreachnow。"
"Andoutofhismind,"sheadded。"Besides,one’ssenseofinjurydoesn’tlast(exceptinnovelsandplays)throughaseriesofyears。Idon’tpityhim——andifanopportunityofshakinghishighpositionamonghisadmiringcongregationpresenteditself,I
daresayImightmakeamischievousreturnforhislettertome。
Inthemeanwhile,wemaydropthesubject。Isupposeyouunderstand,now,whyIconcealedmynamefromyou,andwhyIkeptoutofthehousewhileyouwereinit。"
Itwasplainenough,ofcourse。IfIhadknownheragain,orhadheardhername,ImighthavetoldtheMinisterthatMrs。
TenbruggenandMissChancewereoneandthesame。AndifIhadseenherandtalkedwithherinthehouse,mymemorymighthaveshownitselfcapableofimprovement。Havingpolitelypresentedtheexpressionofmythanks,Irosetogo。
Shestoppedmeatthedoor。
"Onewordmore,"shesaid,"whileSelinaisoutoftheway。I
needhardlytellyouthatIhavenottrustedherwiththeMinister’ssecret。YouandIare,asItakeit,theonlypeoplenowlivingwhoknowthetruthaboutthesetwogirls。Andwekeepouradvantage。"
"Whatadvantage?"Iasked。
"Don’tyouknow?"
"Idon’tindeed。"
"NomoredoI。Femalefolly,andaslipofthetongue;Iamoldandugly,butIamstillawoman。AboutMissEunice。Somebodyhastoldtheprettylittlefoolnevertotruststrangers。Youwouldhavebeenamused,ifyouhadheardthatslyyoungpersonprevaricatingwithme。Inonerespect,herappearancestrikesme。
Sheisnotlikeeitherthewretchwhowashanged,orthepoorvictimwhowasmurdered。Canshebetheadoptedchild?Orisittheothersister,whomIhavenotseenyet?Oh,come!come!Don’ttrytolookasifyoudidn’tknow。Thatisreallytooridiculous。"
"Youalludedjustnow,"Ianswered,"toour’advantage’inbeingtheonlypersonswhoknowthetruthaboutthetwogirls。Well,Mrs。Tenbruggen,Ikeep_my_advantage。"
"Inotherwords,"sherejoined,"youleavemetomakethediscoverymyself。Well,myfriend,Imeantodoit!"
Intheevening,myhotelofferedtometherefugeofwhichI
stoodinneed。Icouldthink,forthefirsttimethatday,withoutinterruption。
BeingresolvedtoseePhilip,Ipreparedmyselffortheinterviewbyconsultingmyextractsoncemore。Theletter,inwhichMrs。
Tenbruggenfigures,inspiredmewiththehopeofprotectionforMr。Gracedieu,attainablethroughnolessapersonthanHelenaherself。
Tobeginwith,shewouldcertainlysharePhilip’saversiontotheMasseuse,andherdislikeofMissJillgallwould,justaspossibly,extendtoMissJillgall’sfriend。ThehostilefeelingthussetupmightbetrustedtokeepwatchonMrs。Tenbruggen’sproceedings,withavigilancenotattainablebythecoarserobservationofaman。Intheevent,ofanimprovementintheMinister’shealth,IshouldhearofitbothfromthedoctorandfromMissJillgall,andinthatcaseIshouldinstantlyreturntomyunhappyfriendandputhimonhisguard。
IstartedforLondonbytheearlytraininthemorning。
MywayhomefromtheterminustookmepastthehotelatwhichtheelderMr。Dunboynewasstaying。Icalledonhim。Hewasreportedtobeengaged;thatistosay,immersedinhisbooks。TheaddressononeofPhilip’slettershadinformedmethathewasstayingatanotherhotel。Pursuingmyinquiriesinthisdirection,Imetwithaseveredisappointment。Mr。PhilipDunboynehadleftthehotelthatmorning;forwhatdestinationneitherthelandlordnorthewaitercouldtellme。
Thenextday’spostbroughtwithittheinformationwhichIhadfailedtoobtain。MissJillgallwrote,informingmeinherstrongestlanguagethatPhilipDunboynehadreturnedtoHelena。
IndignantSelinaadded:"Helenameanstomakehimmarryher;andIpromiseyousheshallfail,ifIcanstopit。"
IntakingleaveofEunice,Ihadgivenhermyaddress;hadwarnedhertobecareful,ifsheandMrs。Tenbruggenhappenedtomeetagain,andhadbeggedhertowritetome,ortocometome,ifanythinghappenedtoalarmherinmyabsence。
Intwodaysmore,IreceivedalinefromEunice,writtenevidentlyinthegreatestagitation。
"Philiphasdiscoveredme。Hehasbeenhere,andhasinsistedonseeingme。Ihaverefused。Thegoodfarmerhassokindlytakenmypart。Icanwritenomore。"
CHAPTERL。
THENEWSFROMTHEFARM。
WHENInextheardfromMissJillgall,theintroductorypartofherlettermerelyremindedmethatPhilipDunboynewasestablishedinthetown,andthatHelenawasindailycommunicationwithhim。IshalldoSelinanoinjusticeifmyextractbeginswithhersecondpage。
"Youwillsympathize,Iamsure"(shewrites),"withtheindignationwhichurgedmetocallonPhilip,andtellhimthewaytothefarmhouse。ThinkofHelenabeingdeterminedtomarryhim,whetherhewantstoornot!Iamafraidthisisbadgrammar。
Butthereareoccasionswhenevenacultivatedladyfailsinhergrammar,andalmostenviesthementheirprivilegeofswearingwhentheyareinarage。Mystateofmindistrulyindescribable。
Griefmingleswithanger,whenItellyouthatmysweetEuneecehasdisappointedme,forthefirsttimesinceIhadthehappinessofknowingandadmiringher。Whatcanhavebeenthemotiveofherrefusaltoreceiveherpenitentlover?Isitpride?WearetoldthatSatanfellthroughpride。Euneecesatanic?Impossible!I
feelinclinedtogoandaskherwhathashardenedherheartagainstapooryoungmanwhobitterlyregretshisownfolly。Doyouthinkitwasbadadvicefromthefarmerorhiswife?Inthatcase,Ishallexertmyinfluence,andtakeheraway。Youwoulddothesame,wouldn’tyou?
"IamashamedtomentionthepoordearMinisterinapostscript。
Thetruthis,Idon’tverywellknowwhatIamabout。Mr。
Gracedieuisquiet,sleepsbetterthanhedid,eatswithakeenerappetite,givesnotrouble。But,alas,thatgloriousintellectisinastateofeclipse!Donotsuppose,becauseIwritefiguratively,thatIamnotsorryforhim。Heunderstandsnothing;heremembersnothing;hehasmyprayers。
"Youmightcometousagain,ifyouwouldonlybesokind。Itwouldmakenodifferencenow;thepoormanissosadlyaltered。I
mustadd,mostreluctantly,thatthedoctorrecommendsyourstayingathome。Betweenourselves,heislittlebetterthanacoward。Fancyhissaying;’No;wemustnotrunthatriskyet。’I
ambarelyciviltohim,andnomore。
"Inanyotheraffair(excusemefortroublingyouwithasecondpostscript),mysympathywithEuneecewouldhavepenetratedhermotives;Ishouldhavefeltwithherfeelings。ButIhaveneverbeeninlove;nogentlemangavemetheopportunitywhenIwasyoung。NowIammiddle—aged,neglecthasdoneitsdrearywork——myheartisanextinctcrater。Figurativeagain!Ihadbetterputmypenaway,andsayfarewellforthepresent。"
MissJillgallmaynowgiveplacetoEunice。Thesameday’spostbroughtmebothletters。
Ishouldbeunworthyindeedofthetrustwhichthisaffectionategirlhasplacedinme,ifIfailedtoreceiveherexplanationofherconducttowardPhilipDunboyne,asasacredsecretconfidedtomyfatherlyregard。Inthoselaterportionsofherletter,whicharenotaddressedtomeconfidentially,Eunicewritesasfollows:
"Igetnews——andwhatheartbreakingnews!——ofmyfather,bysendingamessengertoSelina。ItismorethaneverimpossiblethatIcanputmyselfinthewayofseeingHelenaagain。ShehaswrittentomeaboutPhilip,inatonesoshockinglyinsolentandcruel,thatIhavedestroyedherletter。Philip’svisittothefarm,discoveredIdon’tknowhow,seemstohaveinfuriatedher。
Sheaccusesmeofdoingallthatshemightherselfhavedoneinmyplace,andthreatensme——No!IamafraidofthewickedwhisperingsofthatsecondselfofmineifIthinkofit。TheywereneartotemptingmewhenIreadHelena’sletter。ButI
第20章