WhydidInottrytocalmher?Ihadvainlytriedtocalmher——I
whoknewwhohermotherwas,andwhathermotherhadbeen。
Atlast,shehadforcedthesenseofmydutyonme。Thesimplestwayofcalmingherwastoputherbackintheplacebymysidethatshehadleft。Itwasuselesstoreasonwithher,itwasimpossibletoanswerher。IhadmyownideaoftheonewayinwhichImightcharmEunicebacktohersweeterself。
"LetustalkofPhilip,"Isaid。
Thefierceflushonherfacesoftened,theswellingtroubleofherbosombegantosubside,asthatdearly—lovednamepassedmylips!Buttherewassomeinfluenceleftinherwhichresistedme。
"No,"shesaid;"wehadbetternottalkofhim。"
"Whynot?"
"Ihavelostallmycourage。IfyouspeakofPhilip,youwillmakemecry。"
Idrewhernearertome。Ifshehadbeenmyownchild,Idon’tthinkIcouldhavefeltforhermoretrulythanIfeltatthatmoment。Ionlylookedather;Ionlysaid:
"Cry!"
Thelovethatwasinherheartrose,andpoureditstendernessintohereyes。Ihadlongedtoseethetearsthatwouldcomforther。Thetearscame。
Therewassilencebetweenusforawhile。Itwaspossibleformetothink。
Intheabsenceofphysicalresemblancebetweenparentandchild,isanunfavorableinfluenceexercisedonthetendencytomoralresemblance?Assumingthepossibilityofsucharesultasthis,Eunice(entirelyunlikehermother)must,asIconcluded,havebeenpossessedofqualitiesformedtoresist,aswellasofqualitiesdoomedtoundergo,theinfectionofevil。While,therefore,Iresignedmyselftorecognizetheexistenceofthehereditarymaternaltaint,Ifirmlybelievedinthecounterbalancinginfluencesforgoodwhichhadbeenpartofthegirl’sbirthright。Theyhadbeenderived,perhaps,fromthebetterqualitiesinherfather’snature;theyhadbeencertainlydevelopedbythetendercare,thereligiousvigilance,whichhadguardedtheadoptedchildsolovinglyintheMinister’shousehold;andtheyhadservedtheirpurposeuntiltimebroughtwithitthechange,forwhichthetranquildomesticinfluenceswerenotprepared。Withthegreat,thevitaltransformation,whichmarkstheripeningofthegirlintothewoman’smaturityofthoughtandpassion,anewpowerforGood,strongenoughtoresistthelatentpowerforEvil,sprangintobeing,andshelteredEuniceunderthesupremacyofLove。Loveill—fatedandill—bestowed——butlovethatnoprofanationcouldstain,thatnohereditaryevilcouldconquer——theTrueLovethathadbeen,andwas,andwouldbe,theguardianangelofEunice’slife。
IfIamaskedwhetherIhaveventuredtofoundthisopiniononwhatIhaveobservedinoneinstanceonly,IreplythatIhavehadotheropportunitiesofinvestigation,andthatmyconclusionsarederivedfromexperiencewhichreferstomoreinstancesthanone。
Nomaninhissensescandoubtthatphysicalqualitiesaretransmittedfromparentstochildren。Butinheritanceofmoralqualitiesislesseasytotrace。Here,theexploringmindfindsitsprogressbesetbyobstacles。ThatthoseobstacleshavebeensometimesovercomeIdonotdeny。Moralresemblanceshavebeentracedbetweenparentsandchildren。While,however,Iadmitthis,Idoubttheconclusionwhichsees,ininheritanceofmoralqualities,apositiveinfluenceexercisedonmoraldestiny。Thereareinherentemotionalforcesinhumanitytowhichtheinheritedinfluencesmustsubmit;theyareessentiallyinfluencesundercontrol——influenceswhichcanbeencounteredandforcedback。
Thatwe,whoinhabitthislittleplanet,maybethedoomedcreaturesoffatality,fromthecradletothegrave,Iamnotpreparedtodispute。ButIabsolutelyrefusetobelievethatitisafatalitywithnohigheroriginthancanbefoundinouraccidentalobligationtoourfathersandmothers。
Stillabsorbedinthesespeculations,Iwasdisturbedbyatouchonmyarm。
Ilookedup。Eunice’seyeswerefixedonashrubbery,atsomelittledistancefromus,whichclosedtheviewofthegardenonthatside。Inoticedthatshewastrembling。NothingtoalarmherwasvisiblethatIcoulddiscover。Iaskedwhatshehadseentostartleher。Shepointedtotheshrubbery。
"Lookagain,"shesaid。
ThistimeIsawawoman’sdressamongtheshruhs。Thewomanherselfappearedinamomentmore。ItwasHelena。Shecarriedasmallportfolio,andsheapproacheduswithasmile。
CHAPTERXLI。
THEWHISPERINGVOICE。
ILOOKEDatEunice。Shehadrisen,startledbyherfirstsuspicionofthepersonwhowasapproachingusthroughtheshrubbery;butshekeptherplacenearme,onlychangingherpositionsoastoavoidconfrontingHelena。Herquickenedbreathingwasallthattoldmeoftheeffortshewasmakingtopreserveherself—control。
Entirelyfreefromunbecomingsignsofhurryandagitation,Helenaopenedherbusinesswithmebymeansofanapology。
"Prayexcusemefordisturbingyou。Iamobligedtoleavethehouseononeofmytiresomedomesticerrands。Ifyouwillkindlypermitit,Iwishtoexpress,beforeIgo,myverysincereregretforwhatIwasrudeenoughtosay,whenIlasthadthehonorofseeingyou。MayIhopetobeforgiven?How—do—you—do,Eunice?
Haveyouenjoyedyourholidayinthecountry?"
Euniceneithermovednoranswered。Havingsomedoubtofwhatmighthappenifthetwogirlsremainedtogether,IproposedtoHelenatoleavethegardenandtoletmehearwhatshehadtosay,inthehouse。
"Quiteneedless,"shereplied;"Ishallnotdetainyouformorethanaminute。Pleaselookatthis。"
Sheofferedtometheportfoliothatshehadbeencarrying,andpointedtoamorselofpaperattachedtoit,whichcontainedthisinscription:
"Philip’sLettersToMe。Private。HelenaGracedieu。"
"Ihaveafavortoask,"shesaid,"andaproofofconfidenceinyoutooffer。Willyoubesogoodastolookoverwhatyoufindinmyportfolio?IamunwillingtogiveupthehopesthatIhadfoundedonourinterview,whenIaskedforit。Theletterswill,Iventuretothink,pleadmycausemoreconvincinglythanIwasabletopleaditformyself。Iwishtoforgetwhatpassedbetweenus,tothelastword。Tothelastword,"sherepeatedemphatically——withalookwhichsufficientlyinformedmethatI
hadnotbeenbetrayedtoherfatheryet。"Willyouindulgeme?"
sheasked,andofferedherportfolioforthesecondtime。
Amoreimpudentbargaincouldnotwellhavebeenproposedtome。
Iwastoread,andtobefavorablyimpressedby,Mr。PhilipDunboyne’sletters;andMissHelenawastosaynothingofthatunluckyslipofthetongue,relatingtohermother,whichshehaddiscoveredtobeaseriousactofself—betrayal——thankstomyconfusionatthetime。IfIhadnotthoughtofEunice,andofthedesolateandlovelesslifetowhichthepoorgirlwassopatientlyresigned,IshouldhaverefusedtoreadMissGracedieu’slove—letters。
But,asthingswere,Iwasinfluencedbythehope(innocentlyencouragedbyEuniceherself)thatPhilipDunboynemightnotbesowhollyunworthyofthesweetgirlwhomhehadinjuredasIhadhithertobeentoohastilydisposedtobelieve。Toactonthisviewwiththepurposeofpromotingareconciliationwasimpossible,unlessIhadthemeansofformingacorrectestimateoftheman’scharacter。ItseemedtomethatIhadfoundthemeans。Afairchanceofputtinghissinceritytoatrustworthytest,wassurelyofferedbytheletters(theconfidentialletters)whichIhadbeenrequestedtoread。TofeelthisasstronglyasIfeltit,broughtmeatoncetoadecision。I
consentedtotaketheportfolio——onmyownconditions。
"Understand,MissHelena,"Isaid,"thatImakenopromises。I
reservemyownopinion,andmyownrightofaction。"
"Iamnotafraidofyouropinionsoryouractions,"sheansweredconfidently,"ifyouwillonlyreadtheletters。Inthemeantime,letmerelievemysister,there,ofmypresence。Ihopeyouwillsoonrecover,Eunice,inthecountryair。"
Iftheobjectofthewretchwastoexasperatehervictim,shehadcompletelyfailed。Euniceremainedasstillasastatue。Toallappearance,shehadnotevenheardwhathadbeensaidtoher。
Helenalookedatme,andtouchedherforeheadwithasignificantsmile。"Sad,isn’tit?"shesaid——andbowed,andwentbrisklyawayonherhouseholderrand。
Wewerealoneagain。
Still,Eunicenevermoved。Ispoketoher,andproducednoimpression。Beginningtofeelalarmed,Itriedtheeffectoftouchingher。Withawildcry,shestartedintoastateofanimation。Almostatthesamemoment,sheweaklyswayedtoandfroasifthepleasantbreezeinthegardenmovedheratitswill,liketheflowers。Iheldherup,andledhertotheseat。
"Thereisnothingtobeafraidof,"Isaid。"Shehasgone。"
Eunice’seyesrestedonmeinvacantsurprise。"Howdoyouknow?"
sheasked。"Ihearher;butIneverseeher。Doyouseeher?"
"Mydearchild!ofwhatpersonareyouspeaking?"
Sheanswered:"Ofnoperson。IamspeakingofaVoicethatwhispersandtemptsme,whenHelenaisnear。"
"Whatvoice,Eunice?"
"ThewhisperingVoice。Itsaidtome,’Iamyourmother;’itcalledmeDaughterwhenIfirstheardit。Myfatherspeaksofmymother,theangel。Thatgoodspirithasnevercometomefromthebetterworld。Itisamock—motherwhocomestome——somespiritofevil。Listentothis。Iwasawakeinmybed。InthedarkIheardthemock—motherwhispering,closeatmyear。ShallItellyouhowsheansweredme,whenIlongedforlighttoseeherby,whenI
prayedtohertoshowherselftome?Shesaid:’MyfacewashiddenwhenIpassedfromlifetodeath;myfacenomortalcreaturemaysee。’Ihaveneverseenher——howcan_you_haveseenher?ButIheardheragain,justnow。ShewhisperedtomewhenHelenawasstandingthere——whereyouarestanding。Shefreezesthelifeinme。Didshefreezethelifein_you?_Didyouhearhertemptingme?Don’tspeakofit,ifyoudid。Oh,notaword!
notaword!"
AmanwhohasgovernedaprisonmaysaywithMacbeth,"Ihavesuppedfullwithhorrors。"HardenedasIwas——oroughttohavebeen——theeffectofwhatIhadjustheardturnedmecold。IfI
hadnotknownittobeabsolutelyimpossible,ImighthavebelievedthatthecrimeandthedeathofthemurderesswereknowntoEunice,asbeingthecrimeandthedeathofhermother,andthatthehorriddiscoveryhadturnedherbrain。Thiswassimplyimpossible。Whatdiditmean?GoodGod!whatdiditmean?
Mysenseofmyownhelplessnesswasthefirstsenseinmethatrecovered。IthoughtofEunice’sdevotedlittlefriend。Awoman’ssympathyseemedtobeneedednow。Irosetoleadthewayoutofthegarden。
"Selinawillthinkwearelost,"Isaid。"LetusgoandfindSelina。"
"Notfortheworld,"shecried。
"Whynot?"
"BecauseIdon’tfeelsureofmyself。ImighttellSelinasomethingwhichshemustneverknow;Ishouldbesosorrytofrightenher。Letmestopherewithyou。"
Iresumedmyplaceatherside。
"Letmetakeyourhand。"
Igavehermyhand。Whatcomposinginfluencethissimpleactmay,ormaynot,haveexercised,itisimpossibletosay。Shewasquiet,shewassilent。Afteraninterval,Iheardherbreathealong—drawnsighofrelief。
"IamafraidIhavesurprisedyou,"shesaid。"Helenabringsthedreadfultimebacktome——"Shestoppedandshuddered。
"Don’tspeakofHelena,mydear。"
"ButIamafraidyouwillthink——becauseIhavesaidstrangethings——thatIhavebeentalkingatrandom,"sheinsisted。"Thedoctorwillsaythat,ifyoumeetwithhim。HebelievesIamdeludedbyadream。Itriedtothinksomyself。Itwasofnouse;
Iamquitesureheiswrong。"
Iprivatelydeterminedtowatchforthedoctor’sarrival,andtoconsultwithhim。Eunicewenton:
"Ihavethestoryofaterriblenighttotellyou;butIhaven’tthecouragetotellitnow。Whyshouldn’tyoucomebackwithmetotheplacethatIamstayingat?Apleasantfarm—house,andsuchkindpeople。Youmightreadtheaccountofthatnightinmyjournal。Ishallnotregretthemiseryofhavingwrittenit,ifithelpsyoutofindouthowthishatefulsecondselfofminehascometome。Hush!Iwanttoaskyousomething。DoyouthinkHelenaisinthehouse?"
"No——shehasgoneout。"
"Didshesaythatherself?Areyousure?"
"Quitesure。"
Shedecidedongoingbacktothefarm,whileHelenawasoutoftheway。Weleftthegardentogether。Forthefirsttime,mycompanionnoticedtheportfolio。Ihappenedtobecarryingitinthehandthatwasnearesttoher,asshewalkedbymyside。
"Wheredidyougetthat?"sheasked。
Itwasneedlesstoreplyinwords。Myhesitationspokeforme。
"Carryitinyourotherhand,"shesaid——"thehandthat’sfurthestawayfromme。Idon’twanttoseeit!DoyoumindwaitingamomentwhileIfindSelina?Youwillgotothefarmwithus,won’tyou?"
Ihadtolookovertheletters,inEunice’sowninterests;andI
beggedhertoletmedefermyvisittothefarmuntilthenextday。Sheconsented,aftermakingmepromisetokeepmyappointment。Itwasofsomeimportancetoher,shetoldme,thatIshouldmakeacquaintancewiththefarmerandhiswifeandchildren,andtellherhowIlikedthem。Herplansforthefuturedependedonwhatthosegoodpeoplemightbewillingtodo。Whenshehadrecoveredherhealth,itwasimpossibleforhertogohomeagainwhileHelenaremainedinthehouse。Shehadresolvedtoearnherownliving,ifshecouldgetemploymentasagoverness。Thefarmer’schildrenlikedher;shehadalreadyhelpedtheirmotherinteachingthem;andtherewasreasontohopethattheirfatherwouldseehiswaytoemployingherpermanently。HishouseofferedthegreatadvantageofbeingnearenoughtothetowntoenablehertohearnewsoftheMinister’sprogresstowardrecovery,andtoseehimherselfwhensafeopportunitiesoffered,fromtimetotime。Asforhersalary,whatdidshecareaboutmoney?Anythingwouldbeacceptable,ifthegoodmanwouldonlyrealizeherhopesforthefuture。
Itwasdishearteningtohearthathope,atherage,beganandendedwithinsuchnarrowlimitsasthese。Noprudentmanwouldhavetriedtopersuadeher,asInowdid,thattheideaofreconciliationofferedthebetterhopeofthetwo。
"SupposeIseeMr。PhilipDunboynewhenIgobacktoLondon,"I
began,"whatshallIsaytohim?"
"SayIhaveforgivenhim。"
"Andsuppose,"Iwenton,"thattheblamereallyrests,whereyouallbelieveittorest,withHelena。Ifthatyoungmanreturnstoyou,trulyashamedofhimself,trulypenitent,willyou——?"
Sheresolutelyinterruptedme:"No!"
"Oh,Eunice,yousurelymeanYes?"
"ImeanNo!"
"Why?"
"Don’taskme!Good—bytillto—morrow。"
CHAPTERXLII。
THEQUAINTPHILOSOPHER。
Nopersoncametomyroom,andnothinghappenedtointerruptmewhileIwasreadingMr。PhilipDunboyne’sletters。
Oneofthem,letmesayatonce,producedaverydisagreeableimpressiononme。IhaveunexpectedlydiscoveredMrs。
Tenbruggen——inapostscript。SheismakingalivingasaMedicalRubber(orMasseuse),andisinprofessionalattendanceonMr。
Dunboynetheelder。Moreofthis,alittlefurtheron。
HavinggonethroughthewholecollectionofyoungDunboyne’sletters,Isetmyselftoreviewthedifferingconclusionswhichthecorrespondencehadproducedonmymind。
Icallthepaperssubmittedtomeacorrespondence,becausethegreaterpartofPhilip’slettersexhibitnotesinpencil,evidentlyaddedbyHelena。Theseexpress,forthemostpart,theinterpretationwhichshehadplacedonpassagesthatperplexedordispleasedher;andtheyhave,asPhilip’srejoindersshow,beenemployedasmaterialswhenshewroteherreplies。
Onreflection,Ifindmyselftroubledbycomplexitiesandcontradictionsintheviewpresentedofthisyoungman’scharacter。TodecidepositivelywhetherIcanjustifytomyselfandtomyregardforEunice,anattempttoreunitethelovers,requiresmoretimeforconsiderationthanIcanreasonablyexpectthatHelena’spatiencewillallow。Havingaquiethourortwostillbeforeme,Ihavedeterminedtomakeextractsfromthelettersformyownuse;withtheintentionofreferringtothemwhileIamstillindoubtwhichwaymydecisionoughttoincline。
Ishallpresentthemhere,tospeakforthemselves。Isthereanyobjectiontothis?NonethatIcansee。
Inthefirstplace,thoseextractshaveavalueoftheirown。
Theyaddnecessaryinformationtothepresenthistoryofevents。
Inthesecondplace,IamundernoobligationtoMr。Gracedieu’sdaughterwhichforbidsmetomakeuseofherportfolio。ItoldherthatIonlyconsentedtoreceiveit,underreserveofmyownrightofaction——andherassenttothatstipulationwasexpressedintheclearestterms。
EXTRACTSFROMMR。PHILIPDUNBOYNE’SLETTERS。
FirstExtract。
Youblameme,dearHelena,fornothavingpaidproperattentiontothequestionsputtomeinyourlastletter。Ihaveonlybeenwaitingtomakeupmymind,beforeIreplied。
Firstquestion:DoIthinkitadvisablethatyoushouldwritetomyfather?No,mydear;Ibegyouwilldeferwriting,untilyouhearfrommeagain。
Secondquestion:Consideringthatheisstillastrangertoyou,isthereanyharminyouraskingmewhatsortofmanmyfatheris?Noharm,mysweetone;but,asyouwillpresentlysee,Iamafraidyouhaveaddressedyourselftothewrongperson。
Myfatheriskind,inhisownoddway——andlearned,andrich——amorehigh—mindedandhonorableman(asIhaveeveryreasontobelieve)doesn’tlive。Butifyouaskmewhichheprefers,hisbooksorhisson,IhopeIdohimnoinjusticewhenIanswer,hisbooks。HisreadingandhiswritingareobstaclesbetweenuswhichIhaveneverbeenabletoovercome。Thisisthemoretoberegrettedbecauseheischarming,onthefewoccasionswhenI
findhimdisengaged。IfyouwishIknewmoreaboutmyfather,weareincompleteagreementasusual——Iwish,too。
Butthereisadearfriendofyoursandmine,whoisjustthepersonwewanttohelpus。NeedIsaythatIalludetoMrs。
Staveley?
Icalledonheryesterday,notlongaftershehadpaidavisittomyfather。Luckhadfavoredher。Shearrivedjustatthetimewhenhungerhadobligedhimtoshutuphisbooks,andringforsomethingtoeat。Mrs。Staveleysecuredafavorablereceptionwithhercustomarytactanddelicacy。Hehadafowlforhisdinner。Sheknowshisweaknessofold;shevolunteeredtocarveitforhim。
IfIcanonlyrepeatwhatthiscleverwomantoldmeoftheirtalk,youwillhaveaportraitofMr。Dunboynetheelder——notperhapsahighly—finishedpicture,but,asIhopeandbelieve,agoodlikeness。
Mrs。Staveleybeganbycomplainingtohimoftheconductofhisson。Ihadpromisedtowritetoher,andIhadneverkeptmyword。Shehadreasonsforbeingespeciallyinterestedinmyplansandprospects,justthen;knowingmetobeattached(pleasetakenoticethatIamquotingherownlanguage)toacharmingfriendofhers,whomIhadfirstmetatherhouse。ToaggravatethedisappointmentthatIhadinflicted,theyoungladyhadneglectedher,too。Noletters,noinformation。Perhapsmyfatherwouldkindlyenlightenher?Wastheaffairgoingon?orwasitbrokenoff?
Myfatherheldouthisplateandaskedfortheotherwingofthefowl。"Itisn’tabadoneforLondon,"hesaid;"won’tyouhavesomeyourself?"
"Idon’tseemtohaveinterestedyou,"Mrs。Staveleyremarked。
"Whatdidyouexpectmetobeinterestedin?"myfatherinquired。
"Iwasabsorbedinthefowl。Favormebyreturningtothesubject。"
Mrs。Staveleyadmitsthatsheansweredthisrathersharply:"Thesubject,sir,wasyourson’sadmirationforacharminggirl:oneofthedaughtersofMr。Gracedieu,thefamouspreacher。"
Myfatheristoowell—bredtospeaktoaladywhilehisattentionisabsorbedbyafowl。Hefinishedthesecondwing,andthenheaskedif"Philipwasengagedtobemarried。"
"Iamnotquitesure,"Mrs。Staveleyconfessed。
"Then,mydearfriend,wewillwaittillwe_are_sure。"
"But,Mr。Dunboyne,thereisreallynoneedtowait。Isupposeyoursoncomeshere,nowandthen,toseeyou?"
"Mysonismostattentive。Incourseoftimehewillcontrivetohitontherighthourforhisvisit。Atpresent,poorfellow,heinterruptsmeeveryday。"
"Supposehehitsupontherighttimeto—morrow?"
"Yes?"
"Youmightaskhimifheisengaged?"
"Pardonme。IthinkImightwaittillPhilipmentionsitwithoutasking。"
"Whatanextraordinarymanyouare!"
"Oh,no,no——onlyaphilosopher。"
ThistriedMrs。Staveley’stemper。Youknowwhataperfectlycandidpersonourfriendis。Sheownedtomethatshefeltinclinedtomakeherselfdisagreeable。"That’sthrownawayuponme,"shesaid:"Idon’tknowwhataphilosopheris。"
Letmepauseforamoment,dearHelena。Ihaveinexcusablyforgottentospeakofmyfather’spersonalappearance。Itwon’ttakelong。Ineedonlynoticeoneinterestingfeaturewhich,sotospeak,liftshisfaceoutofthecommon。Hehasaneloquentnose。Personspossessingthisrareadvantageareblestwithpowersofexpressionnotgrantedtotheirordinaryfellow—creatures。Myfather’snoseisamineofinformationtofriendsfamiliarlyacquaintedwithit。Itchangescolorlikeamodestyounglady’scheek。Itworksflexiblyfromsidetosideliketherudderofaship。Onthepresentoccasion,Mrs。Staveleysawitshifttowardtheleft—handsideofhisface。Asighescapedthepoorlady。Experiencetoldherthatmyfatherwasgoingtoholdforth。
"Youdon’tknowwhataphilosopheris!"herepeated。"BesokindastolookatMe。Iamaphilosopher。"
Mrs。Staveleybowed。
"Andaphilosopher,mycharmingfriend,isamanwhohasdiscoveredasystemoflife。Somesystemsassertthemselvesinvolumes——mysystemassertsitselfintwowords:Neverthinkofanythinguntilyouhavefirstaskedyourselfifthereisanabsolutenecessityfordoingit,atthatparticularmoment。
Thinkingofthings,whenthingsneedn’tbethoughtof,isofferinganopportunitytoWorry;andWorryisthefavoriteagentofDeathwhenthedestroyerhandleshisworkinalingeringway,andachievesprematureresults。Neverlookback,andneverlookforward,aslongasyoucanpossiblyhelpit。Lookingbackleadsthewaytosorrow。Andlookingforwardendsinthecruelestofalldelusions:itencourageshope。Thepresenttimeistheprecioustime。Liveforthepassingday:thepassingdayisallthatwecanbesureof。Yousuggested,justnow,thatIshouldaskmysonifhewasengagedtobemarried。HowdoweknowwhatwearandtearofyournervoustextureIsucceededinsavingwhenIsaid。’WaittillPhilipmentionsitwithoutasking?’Thereisthepersonalapplicationofmysystem。Ihaveexplaineditinmytimetoeverywomanonthelistofmyacquaintance,includingthefemaleservants。Notoneofthemhasrewardedmebyadoptingmysystem。Howdoyoufeelaboutit?"
Mrs。Staveleydeclinedtotellmewhethershehadofferedabrightexampleofgratitudetotherestofthesex。WhenIaskedwhy,shedeclaredthatitwasmyturnnowtotellherwhatIhadbeendoing。
Youwillanticipatewhatfollowed。Sheobjectedtothemysteryinwhichmyprospectsseemedtobeinvolved。InplainEnglish,wasI,orwasInot,engagedtomarryherdearEunice?Isaid,No。
WhatelsecouldIsay?IfIhadtoldMrs。Staveleythetruth,whensheinsistedonmyexplainingmyself,shewouldhavegonebacktomyfather,andwouldhaveappealedtohissenseofjusticetoforbidourmarriage。Findingmeobstinatelysilent,shehasdecidedonwritingtoEunice。Soweparted。Butdon’tbedisheartened。Onmywayoutofthehouse,ImetMr。Staveleycomingin,andhadalittletalkwithhim。Heandhiswifeandhisfamilyaregoingtotheseaside,nextweek。Mrs。Staveleyonceoutofourway,Icantellmyfatherofourengagementwithoutanyfearofconsequences。Ifshewritestohim,themomentheseesmynamementioned,andfindsviolentlanguageassociatedwithit,hewillhandthelettertome。"Yourbusiness,Philip:don’tinterruptme。"Hewillsaythat,andgobacktohisbooks。Thereismyfather,paintedtothelife!
Farewell,forthepresent。
RemarksbyH。G。——Philip’sgraceandgayetyofstylemightbeenviedbyanyprofessionalAuthor。Heamusesme,butherousesmysuspicionatthesametime。Thisslipperyloverofminetellsmetodeferwritingtohisfather,andgivesnoreasonforofferingthatstrangeadvicetotheyoungladywhoissoontobeamemberofthefamily。Isthismerelyonemoreinstanceoftheweaknessofhischaracter?Or,nowthatheisawayfrommyinfluence,ishebeginningtoregretEunicealready?
AddedbytheGovernor。——Itoohavemydoubts。IstheflippantnonsensewhichPhiliphaswritteninspiredbytheeffervescentgoodspiritsofahappyyoungman?Orisitassumedforapurpose?Inthislattercase,IshouldgladlyconcludethathewasregardinghisconducttoEunicewithbecomingemotionsofsorrowandshame。
第17章