Icouldonlyassureher(afterwhatIrememberedofhislettertome)thathewasamanwhomwecoulddependupon。
MissJillgallpossessedtreasuresofinformationtowhichIcouldlaynoclaim。Mr。Dunboyne,shetoldme,wasascholar,andawriter,andarichman。Hisviewsonmarriagewereliberalintheextreme。Lethissonfindgoodprinciples,goodtemper,andgoodlooks,inawife,andhewouldpromisetofindthemoney。
"Igettheseparticulars,"saidMissJillgall,"fromdearEuneece。Theyaresurelyencouraging?ThatHelenamaycarryoutMr。Dunboyne’sviewsinherpersonalappearanceis,Iregrettosay,whatIcan’tdeny。Butastotheotherqualifications,howhopefulistheprospect!Goodprinciples,andgoodtemper?Ha!
ha!HelenahastheprinciplesofJezebel,andthetemperofLadyMacbeth。"
Afterdashingoffthisstrikingsketchofcharacter,thefairartistaskedtolookatmyletteragain,andobservedthattheaddresswaswanting。"Icansetthisrightforyou,"sheresumed,"thanks,asbefore,tomysweetEuneece。And(don’tbeinahurry)Icanmakemyselfusefulinanotherway。Oh,howIdoenjoymakingmyselfuseful!Ifyoutrustyourlettertothebasketinthehall,Helena’slovelyeyes——capableofthemeanestconceivableactions——aresuretotakeapeepattheaddress。Inthatcase,doyouthinkyourletterwouldgettoLondon?Iamafraidyoudetectafaintinfusionofspitefulnessinthatquestion。Oh,forshame!I’llpostthelettermyself。"
CHAPTERXXXVII。
THESHAMELESSSISTER。
FORsomereason,whichmyunassistedpenetrationwasunabletodiscover,MissHelenaGracedieukeptoutofmyway。
Atdinner,onthedayofmyarrival,andatbreakfastonthenextmorning,shewaspresentofcourse;readytomakeherselfagreeableinamodestway,andprovidedwiththenecessarysupplyofcheerfulsmall—talk。Butthemealhavingcometoanend,shehadherdomesticexcuseready,andunostentatiouslydisappearedlikeawell—bredyounglady。Inevermetheronthestairs,neverfoundmyselfintrudingonherinthedrawing—room,nevercaughthergettingoutofmywayinthegarden。AsmuchatalossforanexplanationofthesemysteriesasIwas,MissJillgall’sinterestinmywelfareledhertocautionmeinavagueandgeneralway。
"Takemywordforit,dearMr。Governor,shehassomedesignonyou。Willyouallowaninsignificantoldmaidtoofferasuggestion?Oh,thankyou;Iwillventuretoadvise。Pleaselookbackatyourexperienceoftheveryworstfemaleprisoneryoueverhadtodealwith——andbeguidedaccordinglyifHelenacatchesyouataprivateinterview。"
Inlessthanhalfanhourafterward,Helenacaughtme。Iwaswritinginmyroom,whenthemaidservantcameinwithamessage:
"MissHelena’scompliments,sir,andwouldyoupleasespareherhalfanhour,downstairs?"
MyfirstexcusewasofcoursethatIwasengaged。Thiswasdisposedofbyasecondmessage,providedbeforehand,nodoubt,forananticipatedrefusal:"MissHelenawishedmetosay,sir,thathertimeisyourtime。"Iwasstillobstinate;Ipleadednextthatmydaywasfilledup。Athirdmessagehadevidentlybeenprepared,evenforthisemergency:"MissHelenawillregret,sir,havingthepleasuredeferred,butshewillleaveyoutomakeyourownappointmentforto—morrow。"PersistencysoinveterateasthisledtoaresultwhichMr。Gracedieu’scautiousdaughterhadnotperhapscontemplated:itputmeonmyguard。Thereseemedtobeachance,tosaytheleastofit,thatImightserveEunice’sinterestsifIdiscoveredwhattheenemyhadtosay。Ilockedupmywriting——declaredmyselfincapableofputtingMissHelenatoneedlessinconvenience——andfollowedthemaidtothelowerfloorofthehouse。
TheroomtowhichIwasconductedprovedtobeempty。Ilookedroundme。
IfIhadbeentoldthatamanlivedtherewhowasabsolutelyindifferenttoappearances,Ishouldhaveconcludedthathisviewswerefaithfullyrepresentedbyhisplaceofabode。Thechairsandtablesremindedmeofarailwaywaiting—room。Theshabbylittlebookcasewasthemuterecordofalifeindifferenttoliterature。Thecarpetwasofthatdreadfuldrabcolor,stillthecherishedfavoriteoftheaverageEnglishmind,inspiteofeveryprotestthatcanbeenteredagainstit,onbehalfofArt。
Theceiling,recentlywhitewashed;mademyeyesachewhentheylookedatit。Oneithersideofthewindow,flaccidgreencurtainshunghelplesslywithnothingtoloopthemup。Thewriting—deskandthepaper—case,viewedasspecimensofwoodwork,recalledtheready—madebedroomsonshowincheapshops。Thebooks,mostlyinslate—coloredbindings,weredevotedtotheliteraturewhichiscalledreligious;Ionlydiscoveredthreeworldlypublicationsamongthem——DomesticCookery,EtiquetteforLadies,andHintsontheBreedingofPoultry。Anuglylittleclock,tickingnoisilyinablackcase,andtwocandlesticksofbasemetalplacedoneithersideofit,completedtheornamentsonthechimney—piece。Neitherpicturesnorprintshidthebarrennessofthewalls。Isawnoneedleworkandnoflowers。Theoneobjectintheplacewhichshowedanypretensionstobeautywasalooking—glassinanelegantgiltframe——sacredtovanity,andworthyoftheofficethatitfilled。SuchwasHelenaGracedieu’ssitting—room。Ireallycouldnothelpthinking:Howlikeher!
Shecameinwithafaceperfectlyadaptedtothecircumstances——pleasedandsmiling;amiablydeferential,inconsiderationoftheclaimsofherfather’sguest——and,tomysurprise,insomedegreesuggestiveofoneofthoseincorrigiblefemaleprisoners,towhomMissJillgallhadreferredmewhensheofferedawordofadvice。
"Howkindofyoutocomesosoon!Excusemyreceivingyouinmyhousekeeping—room;weshallnotbeinterruptedhere。Veryplainlyfurnished,isitnot?Idislikeostentationanddisplay。
Ornamentsareoutofplaceinaroomdevotedtodomesticnecessities。Ihatedomesticnecessities。Younoticethelooking—glass?It’sapresent。Ishouldneverhaveputsuchathingup。Perhapsmyvanityexcusesit。"
Shepointedthelastremarkbyalookatherselfintheglass;
usingit,whileshedespisedit。Yes:therewasahandsomeface,payingheritsreflectedcompliment——butnotsowellmatchedasitmighthavebeenbyahandsomefigure。Herfeetweretoolarge;
hershouldersweretoohigh;thegracefulundulationsofawell—madegirlwereabsentwhenshewalked;andherbosomwas,tomymind,undulydevelopedforhertimeoflife。
Shesatdownbymewithherbacktothelight。Happeningtobeoppositetothewindow,Iofferedhertheadvantageofaclearviewofmyface。Shewaitedforme,andIwaitedforher——andtherewasanawkwardpausebeforewespoke。Shesettheexample。
"Isn’titcurious?"sheremarked。"Whentwopeoplehavesomethingparticulartosaytoeachother,andnothingtohinderthem,theyneverseemtoknowhowtosayit。Youaretheoldest,sir。Whydon’tyoubegin?"
"BecauseIhavenothingparticulartosay。"
"Inplainwords,youmeanthatImustbegin?"
"Ifyouplease。"
"Verywell。IwanttoknowwhetherIhavegivenyou(andMissJillgall,ofcourse)asmuchtimeasyouwant,andasmanyopportunitiesasyoucoulddesire?"
"Praygoon,MissHelena。"
"HaveInotsaidenoughalready?"
"Notenough,Iregrettosay,toconveyyourmeaningtome。"
Shedrewherchairalittlefurtherawayfromme。"Iamsadlydisappointed,"shesaid。"Ihadsuchahighopinionofyourperfectcandor。Ithoughttomyself:Thereissuchastrikingexpressionoffranknessinhisface。Anotherillusiongone!I
hopeyouwon’tthinkIamoffended,ifIsayaboldword。Iamonlyayounggirl,tobesure;butIamnotquitesuchafoolasyoutakemefor。DoyoureallythinkIdon’tknowthatMissJillgallhasbeentellingyoueverythingthatisbadaboutme;
puttingeverymistakethatIhavemade,everyfaultthatIhavecommitted,intheworstpossiblepointofview?Andyouhavelistenedtoher——quitenaturally!Andyouareprejudiced,stronglyprejudiced,againstme——whatelsecouldyoube,underthecircumstances?Idon’tcomplain;Ihavepurposelykeptoutofyourway,andoutofMissJillgall’sway;inshort,Ihaveaffordedyoueveryfacility,astheprospectusessay。Ionlywanttoknowifmyturnhascomeatlast。Oncemore,haveIgivenyoutimeenough,andopportunitiesenough?"
"Agreatdealmorethanenough。"
"Doyoumeanthatyouhavemadeupyourmindaboutmewithoutstoppingtothink?"
"ThatisexactlywhatImean。Anactoftreachery,MissHelena,_is_anactoftreachery;nohonestpersonneedhesitatetocondemnit。Iamsorryyousentforme。"
Igotuptogo。Withanironicalgestureofremonstrance,shesignedtometositdownagain。
"MustIremindyou,dearsir,ofourfamousnativevirtue?Fairplayissurelyduetoayoungpersonwhohasnobodytotakeherpart。Youtalkedoftreacheryjusthow。Idenythetreachery。
Pleasegivemeahearing。"
Ireturnedtomychair。
"Orwouldyoupreferwaiting,"shewentout,"tillmysistercomesherelaterintheday,andcontinueswhatMissJillgallhasbegun,withthegreatadvantageofbeingyoungandnice—looking?"
Whenthefemalemindgetsintothisstate,nowisemananswersthefemalequestions。
"AmItotakesilenceasmeaningGoon?"MissHelenainquired。
Ibeggedhertointerpretmysilenceinthesensemostagreeabletoherself。
Thisnaturallyencouragedher。Shemadeaproposal:
"Doyoumindchangingplaces,sir?"
"Justasyoulike,MissHelena。"
Wechangedchairs;thelightnowfellfullonherface。HadshedeliberatelychallengedmetolookintohersecretmindifI
could?Anythinglikethestarkinsensibilityofthatyounggirltoeveryrefinementoffeeling,toeverybecomingdoubtofherself,toeverycustomarytimidityofherageandsexinthepresenceofamanwhohadnotdisguisedhisunfavorableopinionofher,Inevermetwithinallmyexperienceoftheworldandofwomen。
"Iwishtobequitemistressofmyself,"sheexplained;"yourface,forsomereasonwhichIreallydon’tknow,irritatesme。
Thefactis,Ihavegreatprideinkeepingmytemper。Pleasemakeallowances。NowaboutMissJillgall。IsupposeshetoldyouhowmysisterfirstmetwithPhilipDunboyne?"
"Yes。"
"Shealsomentioned,perhaps,thathewasahighly—cultivatedman?"
"Shedid。"
"Nowweshallgeton。WhenPhilipcametoourtownhere,andsawmeforthefirsttime——Doyouobjecttomyspeakingfamiliarlyofhim,byhisChristianname?"
"Inthecaseofanyoneelseinyourposition,MissHelena,I
shouldventuretocallitbadtaste。"
Iwasprovokedintosayingthat。Itfailedentirelyasawell—meanteffortinthewayofimpliedreproof。MissHelenasmiled。
"Yougrantmealibertywhichyouwouldnotconcedetoanothergirl。"Thatwashowsheviewedit。"Wearegettingonbetteralready。ToreturntowhatIwassaying。WhenPhilipfirstsawme——Ihaveitfromhimself,mind——hefeltthatIshouldhavebeenhischoice,ifhehadmetwithmebeforehemetwithmysister。
Doyoublamehim?"
"Ifyouwilltakemyadvice,"Isaid,"youwillnotinquiretoocloselyintomyopinionofMr。PhilipDunboyne。"
"Perhapsyoudon’twishmetosayanymore?"shesuggested。
"Onthecontrary,praygoon,ifyoulike。"
Afterthatconcession,shewasamiabilityitself。"Oh,yes,"sheassuredme,"that’seasilydone。"Andshewentonaccordingly:
"Philiphavinginformedmeofthestateofhisaffections,I
naturallyfollowedhisexample。Infact,weexchangedconfessions。Ourmarriageengagementfollowedasamatterofcourse。Doyoublameme?"
"Iwillwaittillyouhavedone。"
"Ihavenomoretosay。"
Shemadethatamazingreplywithsuchperfectcomposure,thatI
begantofeartheremusthavebeensomemisunderstandingbetweenus。"Isthatreallyallyouhavetosayforyourself?"I
persisted。
Herpatiencewithmewasmostexemplary。Sheloweredherselftomylevel。Nottrustingtowordsonlyonthisoccasion,she(sotosay)beathermeaningintomyheadbygesticulatingonherfingers,asifshewaseducatingachild。
"PhilipandI,"shebegan,"arethevictimsofanaccident,whichkeptusapartwhenweoughttohavemettogether——wearenotresponsibleforanaccident。"Sheimpressedthisonmebytouchingherforefinger。"PhilipandIfellinlovewitheachotheratfirstsight——wearenotresponsibleforthefeelingsimplantedinournaturesbyanall—wiseProvidence。"Sheassistedmeinunderstandingthisbytouchinghermiddlefinger。"PhilipandIoweadutytoeachother,andacceptaresponsibilityunderthosecircumstances——theresponsibilityofgettingmarried。"A
touchonherthirdfinger,andanindulgentbow,announcedthatthelessonwasended。"Iamnotaclevermanlikeyou,"shemodestlyacknowledged,"butIaskyoutohelpus,whenyounextseemyfather,withsomeconfidence。Youknowexactlywhattosaytohim,bythistime。Nothinghasbeenforgotten。"
"Pardonme,"Isaid,"apersonhasbeenforgotten。"
"Indeed?Whatperson?"
"Yoursister。"
Alittleperplexedatfirst,MissHelenareflected,andrecoveredherself。
"Ah,yes,"shesaid;"IwasafraidImightbeobligedtotroubleyouforanexplanation——Iseeitnow。Youareshocked(veryproperly)whenfeelingsofenmityexistbetweennearrelations;
andyouwishtobeassuredthatIbearnomalicetowardEunice。
Sheisviolent,sheissulky,sheisstupid,sheisselfish;andshecruellyrefusestoliveinthesamehousewithme。Makeyourmindeasy,sir,Iforgivemysister。"
Letmenotattempttodisguiseit——MissHelenaGracedieuconfoundedme。
Ordinaryaudacityisoneofthoseformsofinsolencewhichmatureexperiencedismisseswithcontempt。Thisgirl’saudacitystruckdownallresistance,foroneshockingreason:itwasunquestionablysincere。Strongconvictionofherownvirtuestaredatmeinherproudanddaringeyes。Atthattime,IwasnotawareofwhatIhavelearnedsince。Thehorridhardeningofhermoralsensehadbeenaccomplishedbyherself。Inherdiary,therehasbeenfoundtheconfessionofasecretcourseofreading——withsupplementaryreflectionsflowingfromit,whichneedonlytobedescribedasworthyoftheirsource。
Apersoncapableofrepentanceandreformwould,inherplace,haveseenthatshehaddisgustedme。NotasuspicionofthisoccurredtoMissHelena。"Iseeyouareembarrassed,"sheremarked,"andIamatnolosstoaccountforit。YouaretoopolitetoacknowledgethatIhavenotmadeafriendofyouyet。
Oh,Imeantodoit!"
"No,"Isaid,"Ithinknot。"
"Weshallsee,"shereplied。"Soonerorlater,youwillfindyourselfsayingakindwordtomyfatherforPhilipandme。"Sherose,andtookaturnintheroom——andstopped,eyingmeattentively。"AreyouthinkingofEunice?"sheasked。
"Yes。"
"Shehasyoursympathy,Isuppose?"
"Myheart—feltsympathy。"
"Ineedn’taskhowIstandinyourestimation,afterthat。Prayexpressyourselffreely。Yourlooksconfessit——youviewmewithafeelingofaversion。"
"Iviewyouwithafeelingofhorror。"
Theexasperatinginfluencesofherlanguage,herlooks,andhertoneswould,asIventuretothink,havegottotheendofanotherman’sself—controlbeforethis。Anyway,shehadatlastirritatedmeintospeakingasstronglyasIfelt。WhatIsaidhadbeensoplainly(perhapssorudely)expressed,thatmisinterpretationofitseemedtobeimpossible。Shemistookme,nevertheless。Themostmercilessdisclosureofthedrearysideofhumandestinyissurelytobefoundinthefailureofwords,spokenorwritten,sotoanswertheirpurposethatwecantrustthem,inourattemptstocommunicatewitheachother。Evenwhenheseemstobeconnected,bythenearestanddearestrelations,withhisfellow—mortals,whatasolitarycreature,triedbythetestofsympathy,thehumanbeingreallyisintheteemingworldthatheinhabits!Affordingonemoreexampleoftheimpotenceofhumanlanguagetospeakforitself,mymisinterpretedwordshadfoundtheirwaytotheonesensitiveplaceinHelenaGracedieu’simpenetrablenature。Shebetrayeditinthequiveringandflushingofherhardface,andintheappealtothelooking—glasswhichescapedhereyesthenextmoment。Myhastyreplyhadrousedtheideaofacovertinsultaddressedtoherhandsomeface。Inotherwords,Ihadwoundedhervanity。Drivenbyresentment,outcamethesecretdistrustofmewhichhadbeenlurkinginthatcoldheart,fromthemomentwhenwefirstmet。
"Iinspireyouwithhorror,andEuniceinspiresyouwithcompassion,"shesaid。"That,Mr。Governor,isnotnatural。"
"MayIaskwhy?"
"Youknowwhy。"
"No。"
"Youwillhaveit?"
"Iwantanexplanation,MissHelena,ifthatiswhatyoumean。"
"Takeyourexplanation,then!Youarenotthestrangeryouaresaidtobetomysisterandtome。YourinterestinEuniceisapersonalinterestofsomekind。Idon’tpretendtoguesswhatitis。Asformyself,itisplainthatsomebodyelsehasbeensettingyouagainstme,beforeMissJillgallgotpossessionofyourprivateear。"
InalludingtoEunice,shehadblundered,strangelyenough,onsomethinglikethetruth。Butwhenshespokeofherself,theheadlongmalignityofhersuspicions——makingeveryallowancefortheangerthathadhurriedherintothem——seemedtocallforsomelittleprotestagainstafalseassertion。Itoldherthatshewascompletelymistaken。
"Iamcompletelyright,"sheanswered;"Isawit。"
"Sawwhat?"
"Sawyoupretendingtobeastrangertome。"
"WhendidIdothat?"
"Youdiditwhenwemetatthestation。"
Thereplywastooridiculousforthepreservationofanycontrolovermyownsenseofhumor。Itwaswrong;butitwasinevitable——Ilaughed。Shelookedatmewithafury,revealingaconcentrationofevilpassioninherwhichIhadnotseenyet。I
askedherpardon;Ibeggedhertothinkalittlebeforeshepersistedintakingaviewofmyconductunworthyofher,andunjusttomyself。
"UnjusttoYou!"sheburstout。"Whoareyou?Amanwhohasdrivenyourtradehasspiesalwaysathiscommand——yes!andknowshowtousethem。Youwereprimedwithprivateinformation——youhad,forallIknow,astolenphotographofmeinyourpocket——beforeeveryoucametoourtown。Doyoustilldenyit?
Oh,sir,whydegradeyourselfbytellingalie?"
Nosuchoutrageasthishadeverbeeninflictedonme,atanytimeinmylife。Myforbearancemust,Isuppose,havebeenmoreseverelytriedthanIwasawareofmyself。Withorwithoutexcuseforme,Iwasweakenoughtoletagirl’sspitefultonguestingme,and,worsestill,toletherseethatIfeltit。
"Youshallhavenosecondopportunity,MissGracedieu,ofinsultingme。"Withthatfoolishreply,Iopenedthedoorviolentlyandwentout。
Sheranafterme,triumphinginhavingrousedthetemperofamanoldenoughtohavebeenhergrandfather,andcaughtmebythearm。"Yourownconducthasexposedyou。"(Thatwasliterallyhowsheexpressedherself。)"Isawitinyoureyeswhenwemetatthestation。You,thestranger——youwhoallowedpoorignorantmetointroducemyself——youknewmeallthetime,knewmebysight!"
Ishookherhandoffwithaninconsiderableroughness,humiliatingtoremember。"It’sfalse!"Icried。"Iknewyoubyyourlikenesstoyourmother。"
Themomentthewordshadpassedmylips,Icametomysensesagain;Irememberedwhatfatalwordstheymightprovetobe,iftheyreachedtheMinister’sears。
Heardonlybyhisdaughter,myreplyseemedtocooltheheatofherangerinaninstant。
"Soyouknewmymother?"shesaid。"Myfathernevertoldusthat,whenhespokeofyourbeingsuchaveryoldfriendofhis。
Strange,tosaytheleastofit。"
Iwaswiseenough——nowwhenwisdomhadcometoolate——nottoattempttoexplainmyself,andnottogiveheranopportunityofsayingmore。"Weareneitherofusinastateofmind,"I
answered,"toallowthisinterviewtocontinue。Imusttrytorecovermycomposure;andIleaveyoutodothesame。"
Inthesolitudeofmyroom,Iwasabletolookmypositionfairlyintheface。
Mr。Gracedieu’swifehadcometome,inthelong—pasttime,withoutherhusband’sknowledge。Temptedtoacruelresolvebythematernaltriumphofhavinganinfantofherown,shehadresolvedtoridherselfofthepoorlittlerivalinherhusband’sfatherlyaffection,byconsigningtheadoptedchildtothekeepingofacharitableasylum。Shehaddaredtoaskmetohelpher。Ihadkeptthesecretofhershamefulvisit——Icanhonestlysay,fortheMinister’ssake。Andnow,longaftertimehaddoomedthoseeventstooblivion,theywererevived——andrevivedbyme。
Thankstomyfolly,Mr。Gracedieu’sdaughterknewwhatIhadconcealedfromMr。Gracedieuhimself。
Whatcoursedidrespectformyfriend,andrespectformyself,counselmetotake?
Icouldonlyseebeforemeachoiceoftwoevils。Towaitforevents——withthetoocertainprospectofavindictivebetrayalofmyindiscretionbyHelenaGracedieu。Ortotaketheinitiativeintomyownhands,andriskconsequenceswhichImightregrettotheendofmylife,bymakingmyconfessiontotheMinister。
BeforeIhaddecided,somebodyknockedatthedoor。Itwasthemaid—servantagain。WasitpossibleshehadbeensentbyHelena?
"Anothermessage?"
"Yes,sir。Mymasterwishestoseeyou。"
CHAPTERXXXVIII。
THEGIRLS’AGES。
HADtheMinister’sdesiretoseemebeeninspiredbyhisdaughter’sbetrayalofwhatIhadunfortunatelysaidtoher?
Althoughhewouldcertainlynotconsenttoreceiveherpersonally,shewouldbeatlibertytoadoptawrittenmethodofcommunicationwithhim,andthelettermightbeaddressedinsuchamannerastopiquehiscuriosity。IfHelena’svindictivepurposehadbeenalreadyaccomplished——andifMr。Gracedieuleftmenoalternativebuttopresenthisunworthywifeinhertruecharacter——IcanhonestlysaythatIdreadedtheconsequences,notastheymightaffectmyself,butastheymightaffectmyunhappyfriendinhisenfeebledstateofbodyandmind。
WhenIenteredhisroom,hewasstillinbed。
Thebed—curtainsweresodrawn,onthesidenearesttothewindow,astokeepthelightfromfallingtoobrightlyonhisweakeyes。Intheshadowthusthrownonhim,itwasnotpossibletoseehisfaceplainlyenough,fromtheopensideofthebed,toarriveatanydefiniteconclusionastowhatmightbepassinginhismind。Afterhavingbeenawakeforsomehoursduringtheearlierpartofthenight,hehadenjoyedalongandundisturbedsleep。"Ifeelstrongerthismorning,"hesaid,"andIwishtospeaktoyouwhilemymindisclear。"
Ifthequiettoneofhisvoicewasnotanassumedtone,hewassurelyignorantofallthathadpassedbetweenhisdaughterandmyself。
"Eunicewillbeheresoon,"heproceeded,"andIoughttoexplainwhyIhavesentforhertocomeandmeetyou。Ihavereasons,seriousreasons,mind,forwishingyoutocompareherpersonalappearancewithHelena’spersonalappearance,andthentotellmewhichofthetwo,onafaircomparison,lookstheeldest。PraybearinmindthatIattachthegreatestimportancetotheconclusionatwhichyoumayarrive。"
HespokemoreclearlyandcollectedlythanIhadheardhimspeakyet。
HereandthereIdetectedhesitationsandrepetitions,whichI
havepurposelypassedover。ThesubstanceofwhathesaidtomeisallthatIshallpresentinthisplace。CarefulasIhavebeentokeepmyrecordofeventswithinstrictlimits,IhavewrittenatalengthwhichIwasfarindeedfromcontemplatingwhenI
acceptedMr。Gracedieu’sinvitation。
Havingpromisedtocomplywiththestrangerequestwhichhehadaddressedtome,Iventuredtoremindhimofpastoccasionsonwhichhehadpointedlyabstained,whenthesubjectpresenteditself,fromspeakingofthegirls’ages。"Youhaveleftittomydiscretion,"Iadded,"todecideaquestioninwhichyouareseriouslyinterested,relatingtoyourdaughters。HaveInoexcuseforregrettingthatIhavenotbeenadmittedtoyourconfidencealittlemorefreely?"
"Youhaveeveryexcuse,"heanswered。"Butyoutroublemeallthesame。TherewassomethingelsethatIhadtosaytoyou——andyourcuriositygetsintheway。"
Hesaidthiswithasullenemphasis。Inmyposition,theworstofevilswassuspense。Itoldhimthatmycuriositycouldwait;andIbeggedthathewouldrelievehismindofwhatwaspressingonitatthemoment。
"Letmethinkalittle,"hesaid。
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