"Thebestthingthatcanhappentothatunhappymanislikelytohappen,"hesaid。"Theonechangeinhimisachangethatthreatensparalysis。YoumayhearofhisdeathbeforeyougetbacktoEngland。"
"AndAriel?"Iasked。
"Quiteunaltered,"Benjaminanswered。"Perfectlyhappysolongassheiswith’theMaster。’FromallIcanhearofher,poorsoul,shedoesn’treckonDexteramongmoralbeings。Shelaughsattheideaofhisdying;andshewaitspatiently,inthefirmpersuasionthathewillrecognizeheragain。"
Benjamin’snewssaddenedandsilencedme。Ilefthimtohisletter。
CHAPTERL。
THELASTOFTHESTORY。
IntendaysmorewereturnedtoEngland,accompaniedbyBenjamin。
Mrs。Macallan’shouseinLondonofferedusampleaccommodation。
Wegladlyavailedourselvesofherproposal,whensheinvitedustostaywithheruntilourchildwasborn,andourplansforthefuturewerearranged。
Thesadnewsfromtheasylum(forwhichBenjaminhadpreparedmymindatParis)reachedmesoonafterourreturntoEngland。
MiserrimusDexter’sreleasefromtheburdenoflifehadcometohimbyslowdegrees。Afewhoursbeforehebreathedhislastheralliedforawhile,andrecognizedArielathisbedside。Hefeeblypronouncedhername,andlookedather,andaskedforme。
Theythoughtofsendingforme,butitwastoolate。Beforethemessengercouldbedispatched,hesaid,withatouchofhisoldself—importance,"Silence,allofyou!mybrainsareweary;Iamgoingtosleep。"Heclosedhiseyesinslumber,andneverawokeagain。Soforthismantootheendcamemercifully,withoutgrieforpain!Sothatstrangeandmany—sidedlife——withitsguiltanditsmisery,itsfitfulflashesofpoetryandhumor,itsfantasticgayety,cruelty,andvanity——ranitsdestinedcourse,andfadedoutlikeadream!
AlasforAriel!ShehadlivedfortheMaster——whatmorecouldshedo,nowtheMasterwasgone?Shecoulddieforhim。
TheyhadmercifullyallowedhertoattendthefuneralofMiserrimusDexter——inthehopethattheceremonymightavailtoconvinceherofhisdeath。Theanticipationwasnotrealized;shestillpersistedindenyingthat"theMaster"hadlefther。Theywereobligedtorestrainthepoorcreaturebyforcewhenthecoffinwasloweredintothegrave;andtheycouldonlyremoveherfromthecemeterybythesamemeanswhentheburial—servicewasover。Fromthattimeherlifealternated,forafewweeks,betweenfitsofravingdeliriumandintervalsoflethargicrepose。Attheannualballgivenintheasylum,whenthestrictsuperintendenceofthepatientswasinsomedegreerelaxed,thealarmwasraised,alittlebeforemidnight,thatArielwasmissing。Thenurseinchargehadleftherasleep,andhadyieldedtothetemptationofgoingdownstairstolookatthedancing。
Whenthewomanreturnedtoherpost,Arielwasgone。Thepresenceofstrangers,andtheconfusionincidentaltothefestival,offeredherfacilitiesforescapingwhichwouldnothavepresentedthemselvesatanyothertime。Thatnightthesearchforherprovedtobeuseless。Thenextmorningbroughtwithitthelasttouchingandterribletidingsofher。Shehadstrayedbacktotheburial—ground;andshehadbeenfoundtowardsunrise,deadofcoldandexposure,onMiserrimusDexter’sgrave。Faithfultothelast,ArielhadfollowedtheMaster!Faithfultothelast,ArielhaddiedontheMaster’sgrave!
Havingwrittenthesesadwords,Iturnwillinglytoalesspainfultheme。
EventshadseparatedmefromMajorFitz—David,afterthedateofthedinner—partywhichhadwitnessedmymemorablemeetingwithLadyClarinda。FromthattimeIheardlittleornothingoftheMajor;andIamashamedtosayIhadalmostentirelyforgottenhim——whenIwasremindedofthemodernDonJuanbytheamazingappearanceofwedding—cards,addressedtomeatmymother—in—law’shouse!TheMajorhadsettledinlifeatlast。
And,morewonderfulstill,theMajorhadchosenasthelawfulrulerofhishouseholdandhimself——"thefutureQueenofSong,"
theround—eyed,overdressedyoungladywiththestridentsopranovoice!
Wepaidourvisitofcongratulationindueform;andwereallydidfeelforMajorFitz—David。
TheordealofmarriagehadsochangedmygayandgallantadmirerofformertimesthatIhardlyknewhimagain。Hehadlostallhispretensionstoyouth:hehadbecome,hopelesslyandundisguisedly,anoldman。Standingbehindthechaironwhichhisimperiousyoungwifesatenthroned,helookedathersubmissivelybetweeneverytwowordsthatheaddressedtome,asifhewaitedforherpermissiontoopenhislipsandspeak。Wheneversheinterruptedhim——andshedidit,overandoveragain,withoutceremony——hesubmittedwithaseniledocilityandadmiration,atonceabsurdandshockingtosee。
"Isn’tshebeautiful?"hesaidtome(inhiswife’shearing!)。
"Whatafigure,andwhatavoice!Yourememberhervoice?It’saloss,mydearlady,anirretrievableloss,totheoperaticstage!
Doyouknow,whenIthinkwhatthatgrandcreaturemighthavedone,IsometimesaskmyselfifIreallyhadanyrighttomarryher。Ifeel,uponmyhonorIfeel,asifIhadcommittedafraudonthepublic!"
Asforthefavoredobjectofthisquaintmixtureofadmirationandregret,shewaspleasedtoreceivemegraciously,asanoldfriend。WhileEustacewastalkingtotheMajor,thebridedrewmeasideoutoftheirhearing,andexplainedhermotivesformarrying,withacandorwhichwaspositivelyshameless。
"Youseewearealargefamilyathome,quiteunprovidedfor!"
thisodiousyoungwomanwhisperedinmyear。"It’sallverywellaboutmybeinga’QueenofSong’andtherestofit。Lordblessyou,Ihavebeenoftenenoughtotheopera,andIhavelearnedenoughofmymusic—master,toknowwhatittakestomakeafinesinger。Ihaven’tthepatiencetoworkatitasthoseforeignwomendo:aparcelofbrazen—facedJezebels——Ihatethem!No!
no!betweenyouandme,itwasagreatdealeasiertogetthemoneybymarryingtheoldgentleman。HereIam,providedfor——andthere’sallmyfamilyprovidedfor,too——andnothingtodobuttospendthemoney。Iamfondofmyfamily;I’magooddaughterandsister——_I_am!SeehowI’mdressed;lookatthefurniture:I
haven’tplayedmycardsbadly,haveI?It’sagreatadvantagetomarryanoldman——youcantwisthimroundyourlittlefinger。
Happy?Oh,yes!I’mquitehappy;andIhopeyouare,too。Whereareyoulivingnow?Ishallcallsoon,andhavealonggossipwithyou。Ialwayshadasortoflikingforyou,and(nowI’masgoodasyouare)Iwanttobefriends。"
Imadeashortandcivilreplytothis;determininginwardlythatwhenshedidvisitmesheshouldgetnofurtherthanthehouse—door。Idon’tscrupletosaythatIwasthoroughlydisgustedwithher。Whenawomansellsherselftoaman,thatvilebargainisnonethelessinfamous(tomymind)becauseithappenstobemadeunderthesanctionoftheChurchandtheLaw。
AsIsitatthedeskthinking,thepictureoftheMajorandhiswifevanishesfrommymemory——andthelastsceneinmystorycomesslowlyintoview。
Theplaceismybedroom。Thepersons(both,ifyouwillbepleasedtoexcusethem,inbed)aremyselfandmyson。Heisalreadythreeweeksold;andheisnowlyingfastasleepbyhismother’sside。MygoodUncleStarkweatheriscomingtoLondontobaptizehim。Mrs。Macallanwillbehisgodmother;andhisgodfatherswillbeBenjaminandMr。Playmore。Iwonderwhethermychristeningwillpassoffmoremerrilythanmywedding?
Thedoctorhasjustleftthehouse,insomelittleperplexityaboutme。Hehasfoundmerecliningasusual(latterly)inmyarm—chair;butonthisparticulardayhehasdetectedsymptomsofexhaustion,whichhefindsquiteunaccountableunderthecircumstances,andwhichwarnhimtoexerthisauthoritybysendingmebacktomybed。
ThetruthisthatIhavenottakenthedoctorintomyconfidence。
Therearetwocausesforthosesignsofexhaustionwhichhavesurprisedmymedicalattendant——andthenamesofthemare——AnxietyandSuspense。
OnthisdayIhaveatlastsummonedcourageenoughtoperformthepromisewhichImadetomyhusbandinParis。Heisinformed,bythistime,howhiswife’sConfessionwasdiscovered。Heknows(onMr。Playmore’sauthority)thatthelettermaybemadethemeans,ifhesowillit,ofpubliclyvindicatinghisinnocenceinaCourtofLaw。And,lastandmostimportantofall,heisnowawarethattheConfessionitselfhasbeenkeptasealedsecretfromhim,outofcompassionateregardforhisownpeaceofmind,aswellasforthememoryoftheunhappywomanwhowasoncehiswife。
ThesenecessarydisclosuresIhavecommunicatedtomyhusband——notbywordofmouth;whenthetimecame,Ishrankfromspeakingtohimpersonallyofhisfirstwife——butbyawrittenstatementofthecircumstances,takenmainlyoutofmylettersreceivedinParisfromBenjaminandMr。Playmore。HehasnowhadampletimetoreadallthatIhavewrittentohim,andtoreflectonitintheretirementofhisownstudy。Iamwaiting,withthefatalletterinmyhand——andmymother—in—lawiswaitinginthenextroomtome——tohearfromhisownlipswhetherhedecidestobreakthesealornot。
Theminutespass;andstillwefailtohearhisfootsteponthestairs。MydoubtsastowhichwayhisdecisionmayturnaffectmemoreandmoreuneasilythelongerIwait。Theverypossessionoftheletter,inthepresentexcitedstateofmynerves,oppressesandrevoltsme。Ishrinkfromtouchingitorlookingatit。I
moveitaboutrestlesslyfromplacetoplaceonthebed,andstillIcannotkeepitoutofmymind。Atlast,anoddfancystrikesme。Iliftuponeofthebaby’shands,andputtheletterunderit——andsoassociatethatdreadfulrecordofsinandmiserywithsomethinginnocentandprettythatseemstohallowandtopurifyit。
Theminutespass;thehalf—hourlongerstrikesfromtheclockonthechimney—piece;andatlastIhearhim!Heknockssoftly,andopensthedoor。
Heisdeadlypale:IfancyIcandetecttracesoftearsonhischeeks。Butnooutwardsignsofagitationescapehimashetakeshisseatbymyside。Icanseethathehaswaiteduntilhecouldcontrolhimself——formysake。
Hetakesmyhand,andkissesmetenderly。
"Valeria!"hesays;"letmeoncemoreaskyoutoforgivewhatI
saidanddidinthebygonetime。IfIunderstandnothingelse,mylove,Iunderstandthis:Theproofofmyinnocencehasbeenfound;andIoweitentirelytothecourageandthedevotionofmywife!"
Iwaitalittle,toenjoythefullluxuryofhearinghimsaythosewords——torevelintheloveandthegratitudethatmoistenhisdeareyesastheylookatme。ThenIrousemyresolution,andputthemomentousquestiononwhichourfuturedepends。
"Doyouwishtoseetheletter,Eustace?"
Insteadofansweringdirectly,hequestionsmeinhisturn。
"Haveyougottheletterhere?"
"Yes。"
"Sealedup?"
"Sealedup。"
Hewaitsalittle,consideringwhatheisgoingtosaynextbeforehesaysit,"LetmebesurethatIknowexactlywhatitisIhavetodecide,"
heproceeds。"SupposeIinsistonreadingtheletter——?"
ThereIinterrupthim。Iknowitismydutytorestrainmyself。
ButIcannotdomyduty。
"Mydarling,don’ttalkofreadingtheletter!Pray,prayspareyourself——"
Heholdsuphishandforsilence。
"Iamnotthinkingofmyself,"hesays。"Iamthinkingofmydeadwife。IfIgiveupthepublicvindicationofmyinnocence,inmyownlifetime——ifIleavethesealoftheletterunbroken——doyousay,asMr。Playmoresays,thatIshallbeactingmercifullyandtenderlytowardthememoryofmywife?"
"Oh,Eustace,therecannotbetheshadowofadoubtofit!"
"ShallIbemakingsomelittleatonementforanypainthatImayhavethoughtlesslycausedhertosufferinherlifetime?"
"Yes!yes!"
"And,Valeria——shallIpleaseYou?"
"Mydarling,youwillenchantme!"
"Whereistheletter?"
"Inyourson’shand,Eustace。"
Hegoesaroundtotheothersideofthebed,andliftsthebaby’slittlepinkhandtohislips。Forawhilehewaitsso,insadandsecretcommunionwithhimself。Iseehismothersoftlyopenthedoor,andwatchhimasIamwatchinghim。Inamomentmoreoursuspenseisatanend。Withaheavysigh,helaysthechild’shandbackagainonthesealedletter;andbythatonelittleactionsays(asifinwords)tohisson——"IleaveittoYou!"
Andsoitended!NotasIthoughtitwouldend;notperhapsasyouthoughtitwouldend。Whatdoweknowofourownlives?Whatdoweknowofthefulfillmentofourdearestwishes?Godknows——andthatisbest。
MustIshutupthepaper?Yes。Thereisnothingmoreforyoutoreadorformetosay。
Exceptthis——asapostscript。Don’tbearhardly,goodpeople,onthefolliesandtheerrorsofmyhusband’slife。Abuse_me_asmuchasyouplease。ButpraythinkkindlyofEustaceformysake。
End
第30章