SailwithhimtotheMediterraneanthenextday?Passweeksandweeksabsolutelyalonewithhim,inthenarrowlimitsofavessel,withhishorriblesecretpartingusinsympathyfurtherandfurtherfromeachotherdaybyday?Ishudderedatthethoughtofit。
"To—morrowisratherashortnotice,"Isaid。"Willyougivemealittlelongertimetoprepareforthevoyage?"
"Ohyes——takeanytimeyoulike,"heanswered,not(asIthought)
verywillingly。"Whileyouareresting——therearestilloneortwolittlethingstobesettled——IthinkIwillgobacktotheyacht。IsthereanythingIcandoforyou,Valeria,beforeIgo?"
"Nothing——thankyou,Eustace。"
Hehastenedawaytotheharbor。Washeafraidofhisownthoughts,ifhewereleftbyhimselfinthehouse。Wasthecompanyofthesailing—masterandthestewardbetterthannocompanyatall?
Itwasuselesstoask。WhatdidIknowabouthimorhisthoughts?
Ilockedmyselfintomyroom。
CHAPTERV。
THELANDLADY’SDISCOVERY。
ISATdown,andtriedtocomposemyspirits。Noworneverwasthetimetodecidewhatitwasmydutytomyhusbandandmydutytomyselftodonext。
Theeffortwasbeyondme。Wornoutinmindandbodyalike,Iwasperfectlyincapableofpursuinganyregulartrainofthought。I
vaguelyfelt——ifIleftthingsastheywere——thatIcouldneverhopetoremovetheshadowwhichnowrestedonthemarriedlifethathadbegunsobrightly。Wemightlivetogether,soastosaveappearances。Buttoforgetwhathadhappened,ortofeelsatisfiedwithmyposition,wasbeyondthepowerofmywill。Mytranquillityasawoman——perhapsmydearestinterestsasawife——dependedabsolutelyonpenetratingthemysteryofmymother—in—law’sconduct,andondiscoveringthetruemeaningofthewildwordsofpenitenceandself—reproachwhichmyhusbandhadaddressedtomeonourwayhome。
SofarIcouldadvancetowardrealizingmyposition——andnofurther。WhenIaskedmyselfwhatwastobedonenext,hopelessconfusion,maddeningdoubt,filledmymind,andtransformedmeintothemostlistlessandhelplessoflivingwomen。
Igaveupthestruggle。Indull,stupid,obstinatedespair,I
threwmyselfonmybed,andfellfromsheerfatigueintoabroken,uneasysleep。
Iwasawakenedbyaknockatthedoorofmyroom。
Wasitmyhusband?Istartedtomyfeetastheideaoccurredtome。Wassomenewtrialofmypatienceandmyfortitudeathand?
Halfnervously,halfirritably,Iaskedwhowasthere。
Thelandlady’svoiceansweredme。
"CanIspeaktoyouforamoment,ifyouplease?"
Iopenedthedoor。Thereisnodisguisingit——thoughIlovedhimsodearly,thoughIhadlefthomeandfriendsforhissake——itwasarelieftome,atthatmiserabletime,toknowthatEustacehadnotreturnedtothehouse。
Thelandladycamein,andtookaseat,withoutwaitingtobeinvited,closebymyside。Shewasnolongersatisfiedwithmerelyassertingherselfasmyequal。Ascendinganothersteponthesocialladder,shetookherstandontheplatformofpatronage,andcharitablylookeddownonmeasanobjectofpity。
"IhavejustreturnedfromBroadstairs,"shebegan。"IhopeyouwilldomethejusticetobelievethatIsincerelyregretwhathashappened。"
Ibowed,andsaidnothing。
"Asagentlewomanmyself,"proceededthelandlady——"reducedbyfamilymisfortunestoletlodgings,butstillagentlewoman——I
feelsinceresympathywithyou。Iwillevengofurtherthanthat。
IwilltakeitonmyselftosaythatIdon’tblame_you_。No,no。
Inoticedthatyouwereasmuchshockedandsurprisedatyourmother—in—law’sconductasIwas;andthatissayingagreatdeal——agreatdealindeed。However,Ihaveadutytoperform。Itisdisagreeable,butitisnotthelessadutyonthataccount。I
amasinglewoman;notfromwantofopportunitiesofchangingmycondition——Ibegyouwillunderstandthat——butfromchoice。
SituatedasIam,Ireceiveonlythemostrespectablepersonsintomyhouse。Theremustbenomysteryaboutthepositionsof_my_lodgers。Mysteryinthepositionofalodgercarrieswithit——whatshallIsay?Idon’twishtooffendyou——Iwillsay,acertainTaint。Verywell。NowIputittoyourowncommon—sense。
Canapersoninmypositionbeexpectedtoexposeherselfto——Taint?ImaketheseremarksinasisterlyandChristianspirit。Asaladyyourself——Iwillevengothelengthofsayingacruellyusedlady——youwill,Iamsure,understand——"
Icouldendureitnolonger。Istoppedherthere。
"Iunderstand,"Isaid,"thatyouwishtogiveusnoticetoquityourlodgings。Whendoyouwantustogo?"
Thelandladyheldupalong,lean,redhand,inasorrowfulandsisterlyprotest。
"No,"shesaid。"Notthattone;notthoselooks。It’snaturalyoushouldbeannoyed;it’snaturalyoushouldbeangry。Butdo——nowdopleasetryandcontrolyourself。Iputittoyourowncommon—sense(wewillsayaweekforthenoticetoquit)——whynottreatmelikeafriend?Youdon’tknowwhatasacrifice,whatacruelsacrifice,Ihavemade——entirelyforyoursake。
"You?"Iexclaimed。"Whatsacrifice?"
"Whatsacrifice?"repeatedthelandlady。"Ihavedegradedmyselfasagentlewoman。Ihaveforfeitedmyownself—respect。"Shepausedforamoment,andsuddenlyseizedmyhandinaperfectfrenzyoffriendship。"Oh,mypoordear!"criedthisintolerableperson。"Ihavediscoveredeverything。Avillainhasdeceivedyou。YouarenomoremarriedthanIam!"
Isnatchedmyhandoutofhers,androseangrilyfrommychair。
"Areyoumad?"Iasked。
Thelandladyraisedhereyestotheceilingwiththeairofapersonwhohaddeservedmartyrdom,andwhosubmittedtoitcheerfully。
"Yes,"shesaid。"IbegintothinkI_am_mad——madtohavedevotedmyselftoanungratefulwoman,toapersonwhodoesn’tappreciateasisterlyandChristiansacrificeofself。Well,I
won’tdoitagain。Heavenforgiveme——Iwon’tdoitagain!"
"Dowhatagain?"Iasked。
"Followyourmother—in—law,"criedthelandlady,suddenlydroppingthecharacterofamartyr,andassumingthecharacterofavixeninitsplace。"IblushwhenIthinkofit。Ifollowedthatmostrespectablepersoneverystepofthewaytoherowndoor。"
Thusfarmypridehadheldmeup。Itsustainedmenolonger。I
droppedbackagainintomychair,inundisguiseddreadofwhatwascomingnext。
"IgaveyoualookwhenIleftyouonthebeach,"pursuedthelandlady,growinglouderandlouderandredderandredderasshewenton。"Agratefulwomanwouldhaveunderstoodthatlook。Nevermind!Iwon’tdoitagainIovertookyourmother—in—lawatthegapinthecliff。Ifollowedher——oh,howIfeelthedisgraceofit_now!_——IfollowedhertothestationatBroadstairs。ShewentbackbytraintoRamsgate。_I_wentbackbytraintoRamsgate。
Shewalkedtoherlodgings。_I_walkedtoherlodgings。Behindher。Likeadog。Oh,thedisgraceofit!Providentially,asI
thenthought——Idon’tknowwhattothinkofitnow——thelandlordofthehousehappenedtobeafriendofmine,andhappenedtobeathome。Wehavenosecretsfromeachotherwherelodgersareconcerned。Iaminapositiontotellyou,madam,whatyourmother—in—law’snamereallyis。SheknowsnothingaboutanysuchpersonasMrs。Woodville,foranexcellentreason。Hernameis_not_Woodville。Hername(andconsequentlyherson’sname)isMacallan——Mrs。Macallan,widowofthelateGeneralMacallan。Yes!
yourhusbandis_not_yourhusband。Youareneithermaid,wife,norwidow。Youareworsethannothing,madam,andyouleavemyhouse!"
Istoppedherassheopenedthedoortogoout。Shehadroused_my_temperbythistime。Thedoubtthatshehadcastonmymarriagewasmorethanmortalresignationcouldendure。
"GivemeMrs。Macallan’saddress,"Isaid。
Thelandlady’sangerrecededintothebackground,andthelandlady’sastonishmentappearedinitsplace。
"Youdon’tmeantotellmeyouaregoingtotheoldladyherself?"shesaid。
"NobodybuttheoldladycantellmewhatIwanttoknow,"I
answered。"Yourdiscovery(asyoucallit)maybeenoughfor_you_;itisnotenoughfor_me_。HowdoweknowthatMrs。
Macallanmaynothavebeentwicemarried?andthatherfirsthusband’snamemaynothavebeenWoodville?"
Thelandlady’sastonishmentsubsidedinitsturn,andthelandlady’scuriositysucceededastherulinginfluenceofthemoment。Substantially,asIhavealreadysaidofher,shewasagood—naturedwoman。Herfitsoftemper(asisusualwithgood—naturedpeople)wereofthehotandtheshort—livedsort,easilyrousedandeasilyappeased。
"Ineverthoughtofthat,"shesaid。"Lookhere!ifIgiveyoutheaddress,willyoupromisetotellmeallaboutitwhenyoucomeback?"
Igavetherequiredpromise,andreceivedtheaddressinreturn。
"Nomalice,"saidthelandlady,suddenlyresumingallheroldfamiliaritywithme。
"Nomalice,"Ianswered,withallpossiblecordialityonmyside。
IntenminutesmoreIwasatmymother—in—law’slodgings。
CHAPTERVI。
MYOWNDISCOVERY。
FORTUNATELYforme,thelandlorddidnotopenthedoorwhenI
rang。Astupidmaid—of—all—work,whoneverthoughtofaskingmeformyname,letmein。Mrs。Macallanwasathome,andhadnovisitorswithher。Givingmethisinformation,themaidledthewayupstairs,andshowedmeintothedrawing—roomwithoutawordofannouncement。
Mymother—in—lawwassittingalone,nearawork—table,knitting。
ThemomentIappearedinthedoorwayshelaidasideherwork,and,rising,signedtomewithacommandinggestureofherhandtoletherspeakfirst。
"Iknowwhatyouhavecomeherefor,"shesaid。"Youhavecomeheretoaskquestions。Spareyourself,andspareme。IwarnyoubeforehandthatIwillnotansweranyquestionsrelatingtomyson。"
Itwasfirmly,butnotharshlysaid。Ispokefirmlyinmyturn。
"Ihavenotcomehere,madam,toaskquestionsaboutyourson,"I
answered。"Ihavecome,ifyouwillexcuseme,toaskyouaquestionaboutyourself。"
Shestarted,andlookedatmekeenlyoverherspectacles。Ihadevidentlytakenherbysurprise。
"Whatisthequestion?"sheinquired。
"Inowknowforthefirsttime,madam,thatyournameisMacallan,"Isaid。"YoursonhasmarriedmeunderthenameofWoodville。Theonlyhonorableexplanationofthiscircumstance,sofarasIknow,isthatmyhusbandisyoursonbyafirstmarriage。Thehappinessofmylifeisatstake。Willyoukindlyconsidermyposition?Willyouletmeaskyouifyouhavebeentwicemarried,andifthenameofyourfirsthusbandwasWoodville?"
Sheconsideredalittlebeforeshereplied。
"Thequestionisaperfectlynaturaloneinyourposition,"shesaid。"ButIthinkIhadbetternotanswerit。"
"MayIaskwhy?"
"Certainly。IfIansweredyou,Ishouldonlyleadtootherquestions,andIshouldbeobligedtodeclinereplyingtothem。I
amsorrytodisappointyou。IrepeatwhatIsaidonthebeach——I
havenootherfeelingthanafeelingofsympathytoward_you。_Ifyouhadconsultedmebeforeyourmarriage,Ishouldwillinglyhaveadmittedyoutomyfullestconfidence。Itisnowtoolate。
Youaremarried。Irecommendyoutomakethebestofyourposition,andtorestsatisfiedwiththingsastheyare。"
"Pardonme,madam,"Iremonstrated。"Asthingsare,Idon’tknowthatI_am_married。AllIknow,unlessyouenlightenme,isthatyoursonhasmarriedmeunderanamethatisnothisown。HowcanIbesurewhetherIamoramnothislawfulwife?"
"Ibelievetherecanbenodoubtthatyouarelawfullymyson’swife,"Mrs。Macallananswered。"Atanyrateitiseasytotakealegalopiniononthesubject。Iftheopinionisthatyouare_not_lawfullymarried,myson(whateverhisfaultsandfailingsmaybe)isagentleman。Heisincapableofwillfullydeceivingawomanwholovesandtrustshim。Hewilldoyoujustice。Onmyside,Iwilldoyoujustice,too。Ifthelegalopinionisadversetoyourrightfulclaims,Iwillpromisetoansweranyquestionswhichyoumaychoosetoputtome。Asitis,Ibelieveyoutobelawfullymyson’swife;andIsayagain,makethebestofyourposition。Besatisfiedwithyourhusband’saffectionatedevotiontoyou。Ifyouvalueyourpeaceofmindandthehappinessofyourlifetocome,abstainfromattemptingtoknowmorethanyouknownow。"
Shesatdownagainwiththeairofawomanwhohadsaidherlastword。
Furtherremonstrancewouldbeuseless;Icouldseeitinherface;Icouldhearitinhervoice。Iturnedroundtoopenthedrawing—roomdoor。
"Youarehardonme,madam,"Isaidatparting。"Iamatyourmercy,andImustsubmit。"
Shesuddenlylookedup,andansweredmewithaflushonherkindandhandsomeoldface。
"AsGodismywitness,child,Ipityyoufromthebottomofmyheart!"
Afterthatextraordinaryoutburstoffeeling,shetookupherworkwithonehand,andsignedtomewiththeothertoleaveher。
Ibowedtoherinsilence,andwentout。
IhadenteredthehousefarfromfeelingsureofthecourseI
oughttotakeinthefuture。Ileftthehousepositivelyresolved,comewhatmightofit,todiscoverthesecretwhichthemotherandsonwerehidingfromme。Astothequestionofthename,IsawitnowinthelightinwhichIoughttohaveseenitfromthefirst。IfMrs。Macallan_had_beentwicemarried(asI
hadrashlychosentosuppose),shewouldcertainlyhaveshownsomesignsofrecognitionwhensheheardmeaddressedbyherfirsthusband’sname。Whereallelsewasmystery,therewasnomysteryhere。Whateverhisreasonsmightbe,Eustacehadassuredlymarriedmeunderanassumedname。
Approachingthedoorofourlodgings,Isawmyhusbandwalkingbackwardandforwardbeforeit,evidentlywaitingformyreturn。
Ifheaskedmethequestion,IdecidedtotellhimfranklywhereIhadbeen,andwhathadpassedbetweenhismotherandmyself。
Hehurriedtomeetmewithsignsofdisturbanceinhisfaceandmanner。
"Ihaveafavortoaskofyou,Valeria,"hesaid。"DoyoumindreturningwithmetoLondonbythenexttrain?"
Ilookedathim。Inthepopularphrase,Icouldhardlybelievemyownears。
"It’samatterofbusiness,"hewenton,"ofnointeresttoanyonebutmyself,anditrequiresmypresenceinLondon。Youdon’twishtosailjustyet,asIunderstand?Ican’tleaveyouherebyyourself。HaveyouanyobjectiontogoingtoLondonforadayortwo?"
Imadenoobjection。Itoowaseagertogoback。
InLondonIcouldobtainthelegalopinionwhichwouldtellmewhetherIwerelawfullymarriedtoEustaceornot。InLondonI
shouldbewithinreachofthehelpandadviceofmyfather’sfaithfuloldclerk。IcouldconfideinBenjaminasIcouldconfideinnooneelse。DearlyasIlovedmyuncleStarkweather,Ishrankfromcommunicatingwithhiminmypresentneed。HiswifehadtoldmethatImadeabadbeginningwhenIsignedthewrongnameinthemarriageregister。ShallIownit?Myprideshrankfromacknowledging,beforethehoneymoonwasover,thathiswifewasright。
Intwohoursmorewewereontherailwayagain。Ah,whatacontrastthatsecondjourneypresentedtothefirst!OnourwaytoRamsgateeverybodycouldseethatwewereanewlyweddedcouple。OnourwaytoLondonnobodynoticedus;nobodywouldhavedoubtedthatwehadbeenmarriedforyears。
WewenttoaprivatehotelintheneighborhoodofPortlandPlace。
AfterbreakfastthenextmorningEustaceannouncedthathemustleavemetoattendtohisbusiness。IhadpreviouslymentionedtohimthatIhadsomepurchasestomakeinLondon。Hewasquitewillingtoletmegooutalone,ontheconditionthatIshouldtakeacarriageprovidedbythehotel。
Myheartwasheavythatmorning:Ifelttheunacknowledgedestrangementthathadgrownupbetweenusverykeenly。Myhusbandopenedthedoortogoout,andcamebacktokissmebeforeheleftmebymyself。Thatlittleafter—thoughtoftendernesstouchedme。Actingontheimpulseofthemoment,Iputmyarmroundhisneck,andheldhimtomegently。
"Mydarling,"Isaid,"givemeallyourconfidence。Iknowthatyouloveme。Showthatyoucantrustmetoo。"
Hesighedbitterly,anddrewbackfromme——insorrow,notinanger。
"Ithoughtwehadagreed,Valeria,nottoreturntothatsubjectagain,"hesaid。"Youonlydistressyourselfanddistressme。"
Helefttheroomabruptly,asifhedarenottrusthimselftosaymore。ItisbetternottodwellonwhatIfeltafterthislastrepulse。Iorderedthecarriageatonce。Iwaseagertofindarefugefrommyownthoughtsinmovementandchange。
Idrovetotheshopsfirst,andmadethepurchaseswhichIhadmentionedtoEustacebywayofgivingareasonforgoingout。
ThenIdevotedmyselftotheobjectwhichIreallyhadatheart。
IwenttooldBenjamin’slittlevilla,intheby—waysofSt。
John’sWood。
Assoonashehadgotoverthefirstsurpriseofseeingme,henoticedthatIlookedpaleandcare—worn。IconfessedatoncethatIwasintrouble。Wesatdowntogetherbythebrightfiresideinhislittlelibrary(Benjamin,asfarashismeanswouldallow,wasagreatcollectorofbooks),andthereItoldmyoldfriend,franklyandtruly,allthatIhavetoldhere。
Hewastoodistressedtosaymuch。Heferventlypressedmyhand;
heferventlythankedGodthatmyfatherhadnotlivedtohearwhathehadheard。Then,afterapause,herepeatedmymother—in—law’snametohimselfinadoubting,questioningtone。
"Macallan?"hesaid。"Macallan?WherehaveIheardthatname?Whydoesitsoundasifitwasn’tstrangetome?"
Hegaveuppursuingthelostrecollection,andasked,veryearnestly,whathecoulddoforme。Iansweredthathecouldhelpme,inthefirstplace,toputanendtothedoubt——anunendurabledoubtto_me_——whetherIwerelawfullymarriedornot。Hisenergyoftheolddayswhenhehadconductedmyfather’sbusinessshoweditselfagainthemomentIsaidthosewords。
"Yourcarriageisatthedoor,mydear,"heanswered。"Comewithmetomyownlawyer,withoutwastinganothermoment。"
WedrovetoLincoln’sInnFields。
AtmyrequestBenjaminputmycasetothelawyerasthecaseofafriendinwhomIwasinterested。Theanswerwasgivenwithouthesitation。Ihadmarried,honestlybelievingmyhusband’snametobethenameunderwhichIhadknownhim。Thewitnessestomymarriage——myuncle,myaunt,andBenjamin——hadacted,asIhadacted,inperfectgoodfaith。Underthosecircumstances,therewasnodoubtaboutthelaw。Iwaslegallymarried。MacallanorWoodville,Iwashiswife。
Thisdecisiveanswerrelievedmeofaheavyanxiety。Iacceptedmyoldfriend’sinvitationtoreturnwithhimtoSt。John’sWood,andtomakemyluncheonathisearlydinner。
OnourwaybackIrevertedtotheoneothersubjectwhichwasnowuppermostinmymind。IreiteratedmyresolutiontodiscoverwhyEustacehadnotmarriedmeunderthenamethatwasreallyhisown。
Mycompanionshookhishead,andentreatedmetoconsiderwellbeforehandwhatIproposeddoing。Hisadvicetome——sostrangelydoextremesmeet!——wasmymother—in—law’sadvice,repeatedalmostwordforword。"Leavethingsastheyare,mydear。Intheinterestofyourownpeaceofmindbesatisfiedwithyourhusband’saffection。Youknowthatyouarehiswife,andyouknowthathelovesyou。Surelythatisenough?"
Ihadbutoneanswertothis。Life,onsuchconditionsasmygoodfriendhadjuststated,wouldbesimplyunendurabletome。
Nothingcouldaltermyresolution——forthisplainreason,thatnothingcouldreconcilemetolivingwithmyhusbandonthetermsonwhichwewerelivingnow。ItonlyrestedwithBenjamintosaywhetherhewouldgiveahelpinghandtohismaster’sdaughterornot。
Theoldman’sanswerwasthoroughlycharacteristicofhim。
"Mentionwhatyouwantofme,mydear,"wasallhesaid。
WewerethenpassingastreetintheneighborhoodofPortmanSquare。Iwasonthepointofspeakingagain,whenthewordsweresuspendedonmylips。Isawmyhusband。
Hewasjustdescendingthestepsofahouse——asifleavingitafteravisit。Hiseyeswereontheground:hedidnotlookupwhenthe—carriagepassed。Astheservantclosedthedoorbehindhim,InoticedthatthenumberofthehousewasSixteen。AtthenextcornerIsawthenameofthestreet。ItwasVivianPlace。
"DoyouhappentoknowwholivesatNumberSixteenVivianPlace?"
Iinquiredofmycompanion。
Benjaminstarted。Myquestionwascertainlyastrangeone,afterwhathehadjustsaidtome。
"No,"hereplied。"Whydoyouask?"
"IhavejustseenEustaceleavingthathouse。"
"Well,mydear,andwhatofthat?"
"Mymindisinabadway,Benjamin。EverythingmyhusbanddoesthatIdon’tunderstandrousesmysuspicionnow。"
Benjaminliftedhiswitheredoldhands,andletthemdroponhiskneesagaininmutelamentationoverme。
"Itellyouagain,"Iwenton,"mylifeisunendurabletome。I
won’tanswerforwhatImaydoifIamleftmuchlongertoliveindoubtoftheonemanonearthwhomIlove。Youhavehadexperienceoftheworld。SupposeyouwereshutoutfromEustace’sconfidence,asIam?SupposeyouwereasfondofhimasIam,andfeltyourpositionasbitterlyasIfeelit——whatwouldyoudo?"
Thequestionwasplain。Benjaminmetitwithaplainanswer。
"IthinkIshouldfindmyway,mydear,tosomeintimatefriendofyourhusband’s,"hesaid,"andmakeafewdiscreetinquiriesinthatquarterfirst。"
Someintimatefriendofmyhusband’s?Iconsideredwithmyself。
TherewasbutonefriendofhiswhomIknewof——myuncle’scorrespondent,MajorFitz—David。Myheartbeatfastasthenamerecurredtomymemory。SupposeIfollowedBenjamin’sadvice?
SupposeIappliedtoMajorFitz—David?Evenifhe,too,refusedtoanswermyquestions,mypositionwouldnotbemorehelplessthanitwasnow。Ideterminedtomaketheattempt。Theonlydifficultyintheway,sofar,wastodiscovertheMajor’saddress。IhadgivenbackhislettertoDoctorStarkweather,atmyuncle’sownrequest。IrememberedthattheaddressfromwhichtheMajorwrotewassomewhereinLondon——andIrememberednomore。
"Thankyou,oldfriend;youhavegivenmeanideaalready,"I
saidtoBenjamin。"HaveyougotaDirectoryinyourhouse?"
"No,mydear,"herejoined,lookingverymuchpuzzled。"ButIcaneasilysendoutandborrowone。"
Wereturnedtothevilla。Theservantwassentatoncetotheneareststationer’stoborrowaDirectory。Shereturnedwiththebookjustaswesatdowntodinner。SearchingfortheMajor’snameundertheletterF,Iwasstartledbyanewdiscovery。
"Benjamin!"Isaid。"Thisisastrangecoincidence。Lookhere!"
HelookedwhereIpointed。MajorFitz—David’saddresswasNumberSixteenVivianPlace——theveryhousewhichIhadseenmyhusbandleavingaswepassedinthecarriage!
CHAPTERVII。
ONTHEWAYTOTHEMAJOR。
"YES,saidBenjamin。"It_is_acoincidencecertainly。Still——"
Hestoppedandlookedatme。HeseemedalittledoubtfulhowI
mightreceivewhathehaditinhismindtosaytomenext。
"Goon,"Isaid。
"Still,mydear,Iseenothingsuspiciousinwhathashappened,"
heresumed。"Tomyminditisquitenaturalthatyourhusband,beinginLondon,shouldpayavisittooneofhisfriends。Andit’sequallynaturalthatweshouldpassthroughVivianPlaceonourwaybackhere。Thisseemstobethereasonableview。Whatdo_you_say?"
"IhavetoldyoualreadythatmymindisinabadwayaboutEustace,"Ianswered。"_I_saythereissomemotiveatthebottomofhisvisittoMajorFitz—David。Itisnotanordinarycall。I
amfirmlyconvinceditisnotanordinarycall!"
"Supposewegetonwithourdinner?"saidBenjamin,resignedly。
"Hereisaloinofmutton,mydear——anordinaryloinofmutton。
Isthereanythingsuspiciousin_that?_Verywell,then。Showmeyouhaveconfidenceinthemutton;pleaseeat。There’sthewine,again。Nomystery,Valeria,inthatclaret——I’lltakemyoathit’snothingbutinnocentjuiceofthegrape。Ifwecan’tbelieveinanythingelse,let’sbelieveinjuiceofthegrape。Yourgoodhealth,mydear。"
Iadaptedmyselftotheoldman’sgenialhumorasreadilyasI
could。Weateandwedrank,andwetalkedofby—gonedays。ForalittlewhileIwasalmosthappyinthecompanyofmyfatherlyoldfriend。WhywasInotoldtoo?WhyhadInotdonewithlove,withitscertainmiseries,itstransientdelights,itscruellosses,itsbitterlydoubtfulgains?Thelastautumnflowersinthewindowbaskedbrightlyinthelastoftheautumnsunlight。
Benjamin’slittledogdigestedhisdinnerinperfectcomfortonthehearth。Theparrotinthenexthousescreechedhisvocalaccomplishmentscheerfully。Idon’tdoubtthatitisagreatprivilegetobeahumanbeing。Butmayitnotbethehappierdestinytobeananimaloraplant?
Thebriefrespitewassoonover;allmyanxietiescameback。I
wasoncemoreadoubting,discontented,depressedcreaturewhenI
rosetosaygood—by。
"Promise,mydear,youwilldonothingrash,"saidBenjamin,asheopenedthedoorforme。