’AndhowamItobecomehiswifeunlessIlovehimwellenoughmyself?
MrsArabin,Ihavemadeupmymindaboutit。Ishallneverbecomeanyman’swife。MammaandIareallinalltogether,andweshallremaintogether。’Andassoonasthesewordswereoutofhermouth,shehatedherselfforhavingspokenthem。Therewasamaudlin,missish,namby—pambysentimentalityaboutthemwhichdisgustedher。Shespeciallydesiredtobestraightforward,resoluteofpurpose,honest—spoken,andfreefromalltouchofaffectation。AndyetshehadexcusedherselffrommarryingJohnEamesafterthefashionofasickschoolgirl。’Itisnotgoodtalkingaboutitanymore,’shesaid,gettingupfromherchairquickly。
’Youarenotangrywithme;——oratanyrateyouwillforgiveme?’
’I’mquitesureyouhavemeanttobeverygood,andIamnotabitangry。’
’Andyouwillseehimbeforeyougo?’
’Oh,yes;thatisifhelikestocometoday,orearlytomorrow。Igohometomorrow。Icannotrefusehim,becauseheissuchanoldfriend——almostlikeabrother。Butitisofnouse,MrsArabin。’ThenMrsArabinkissedherandlefther,tellingherthatMrEameswouldcometoherthatafternoonathalf—pastfive。Lilypromisedthatshewouldbeathometoreceivehim。
’Won’tyouridewithusforthelasttime?’saidEmilyDunstablewhenLilygavenoticethatshewouldnotwantthehorseonthatafternoon。
’No;nottoday。’
’You’llneverhaveanotheropportunityofridingwithEmilyDunstable,’
saidthebrideelect;’atleastIhopenot。’
’EvenunderthosecircumstancesImustrefuse,thoughIwouldgiveaguineatobewithyou。JohnEamesiscomingheretosaygood—bye。’
’Oh;thenindeedyoumustnotcomewithus。Lily,whatwillyousaytohim?’
’Nothing。’
’Oh,Lily,thinkofit。’
’Ihavethoughtofit。Ihavethoughtofnothingelse。Iamtiredofthinkingofit。Itisnogoodtothinkofanythingsomuch。Whatdoesitmatter?’
’Itisverygoodtohavesomeonetolovebetterthanalltheworldbesides。’
’Ihavesomeone,’saidLily,thinkingofhermother,butnotcaringtodescendtothemawkishweaknessoftalkingabouther。
’Yes;butsomeonewhowillalwaysbewithyou,todoeverythingforyou;
tobeyourveryown。’
’Itisallverywellforyou,’saidLily,’andIthinkthatBernardistheluckiestfellowintheworld;butitwillnotdoforme。IknowinwhatcollegeI’lltakemydegree,andIwishthey’dletmewritethelettersaftermynameasthemendo。’
’Whatletters,Lily?’
’OM,forOldMaid。Idon’tseewhyitshouldn’tbeasgoodasBAforBachelorofArts。Itwouldmeanagreatdealmore。’
CHAPTERLXXVII
THESHATTEREDTREE
WhenMrsArabinsawJohnnyinthemiddleoftheday,shecouldhardlygivehimmuchencouragement。Andyetshefeltbynomeanssurethathemightnotsucceedevenyet。Lilyhadbeenverypositiveinheranswers,andyettherehadbeensomethingeitherinherwordsorinthetoneofhervoice,whichhadmadeMrsArabinfeelthatevenLilywasnotquitesureofherself。Therewasstillroomforrelenting。Nothing,however,hadbeensaidwhichcouldjustifyherinbiddingJohnEamessimplyto’goandwin’。’Ithinkheislightofheart,’Lilyhadsaid。Thosewerethewordswhich,ofallthathadbeenspoken,mostimpressedthemselvesonMrsArabin’smemory。Shewouldnotrepeatthemtoherfriend,butshewouldgraftuponthemsuchadviceasshehadtogivehim。
Andthisshedid,tellinghimthatshethoughtperhapsLilydoubtedhisactualearnestness。’Iwouldmarryherthismoment,’saidJohnny。Butthatwasnotenough,asMrsArabinknew,toprovehisearnestness。Manymen,fickleasweathercocks,arereadytomarryatthemoment——arereadytomarryatthemoment,becausetheyarefickle,andthinksolittleaboutit。’Butshehears,perhaps,ofyourlikingotherpeople,’saidMrsArabin。’Idon’tcareastrawforanyotherperson,’saidJohnny。’I
wonderwhetherifIwastoshutmyselfupinacageforsixmonths,itwoulddoanygood?’’Ifshehadthekeepingofthecage,perhapsitmight,’saidMrsArabin。Shehadnothingmoretosayonthatsubject,buttotellhimthatMissDalewouldexpecthimthatafternoonathalf—pastfive。’Itoldherthatyouwouldcometowishhergood—bye,andshepromisedtoseeyou。’
’Iwishshe’dsayshewouldn’tseeme。Thentherewouldbesomechance。’
BetweenhimandMrsArabin,thepartingwasveryaffectionate。Shetoldhimhowthankfulshewasforthekindnessincomingtoher,andhowgratefulshewouldeverbe——andthedeanalso——forhisattentiontoher。
’Remember,MrEames,thatyouwillalwaysbemostwelcomeattheDeaneryofBarchester。AndIdohopethatbeforelongyoumaybetherewithyourwife。’Andsotheyparted。
Heleftheratabouttwo,andwenttoMrToogood’sofficeinBedfordRow。Hefoundhisuncle,andthetwowentouttolunchtogetherinHolborn。BetweenthemtherewasnowordsaidaboutLilyDale,andJohnwasgladtohavesomeothersubjectinhismindforhalfanhour。
ToogoodwasfullofhistriumphaboutMrCrawleyandofhissuccessesinBarsetshire。HegaveJohnalongaccountofhisvisittoPlumstead,andexpressedhisopinionthatifallclergymenwerelikethearchdeacontherewouldnotbemuchroomforDissenters。’I’veseenagoodmanyparsonsinmytime,’saidToogood;’butIdon’tthinkIeversawsuchaoneashim。Youknowheisaclergymansomehow,andheneverletsyouforgetit;butthat’saboutall。Mostof’emarenevercontentedwithoutchokingyouwiththeirwhitecravatsallthetimeyou’rewith’em。AsforCrawleyhimself,’MrToogoodcontinued,’he’snotlikeanybodythateverwasborn,saintorsinner,parsonorlayman。Ineverheardofsuchamaninallmyexperience。ThoughheknewwherehegotthechequeaswellIknowitnow,hewouldn’tsayso,becausethedeanhadsaiditwasn’tso。Somebodyoughttowriteabookaboutit——indeedtheyought。’
ThenhetoldthewholestoryofDanStringer,andhowhehadfoundDanout,lookingatthetopeofDan’shatthroughthelittleapertureinthewalloftheinnparlour。’WhenIsawthetwitchinhishand,John,I
knewhehadhandledthechequehimself。Idon’tmeantosaythatI’msharperthananotherman,andIdon’tthinkso;butIdomeantosaythatwhenyouareinanydifficultyofthatsort,yououghttogotoalawyer。It’shisbusiness,andamandoeswhatishisbusinesswithpatienceandperseverance。It’sapity,though,thatthescoundrelshouldgetoff。’ThenEamesgavehisuncleanaccountofhisItaliantrip,toandfro,andwascongratulatedalsouponhissuccess。John’sgreattriumphlayinthefactthathehadbeenonlytwonightsinbed,andthathewouldnothavesofarcondescendedonthoseoccasionsbutforthefeminineweaknessofhisfellow—traveller。’Weshan’tforgetitallinahurry——shallwe,John?’saidMrToogood,inapleasantvoice,astheypartedatthedooroftheluncheon—houseinHolborn。Toogoodwasreturningtohisoffice,andJohnEameswastopreparehimselfforhislastattempt。
Hewentbacktohislodgings,intendingatfirsttochangehisdresstomakehimselfsmarterfortheworkbeforehim——butafterstandingforamomentortwoleaningonthechestofdrawersinhisbedroom,hegaveupthisidea。’Afterallthat’scomeandgone,’hesaidtohimself,’ifI
cannotwinherasIamnow,Icannotwinheratall。’Andthenhesworetohimselfasolemnoath,resolvingthathewouldrepeatthepurportofittoLilyherself——thatthisshouldbethelastattempt。’What’stheuseofit?Everybodyridiculesme。AndIamridiculous。Iamanass。
It’sallverywellwantingtobetheprimeminister;butifyoucan’tbeprimeminister,youmustdowithoutbeingprimeminister。’Thenheattemptedtosingtheoldsong——’ShallI,sighingindespair,diebecauseawoman’sfair?Ifshebenotfairtome,whatcareIhowfairshebe?’Buthedidcare,andhetoldhimselfthatthesongdidhimnogood。AsitwasnottimeforhimasyettogotoLily,hethrewhimselfonthesofa,andstrovetoreadabook。Thenallthewearynightsofhisjourneyprevailedoverhim,andhefellasleep。
Whenhewokeitwantedquartertosix。Hesprangup,andrushingout,jumpedintoacab。’BerkeleySquare——ashardasyoucango,’hesaid。
’Number——。’HethoughtofRosalind,andhercounselstoloversastothekeepingoftime,andreflectedthatinsuchanemergencyasthis,hemightreallyhaveruinedhimselfbythatunfortunateslumber。WhenhegottoMrsThorne’sdoorheknockedhurriedly,andbustleduptothedrawing—roomasthougheverythingdependedonhissavingaminute。’I’mafraidI’meversomuchbehindmytime,’hesaid。
’Itdoesnotmatterintheleast,’saidLily。’AsMrsArabinsaidthatperhapsyoumightcall,Iwouldnotbeoutoftheway。IsupposethatSirRafflewaskeepingyouandthatyouwouldn’tcome。’
’SirRafflewasnotkeepingme。Ifellasleep。That’sthetruthofit。’
’Iamsosorrythatyoushouldhavebeendisturbed!’
’Donotlaughatme,Lily——today。Ihadbeentravellingagooddeal,andIsupposeIwastired。’
’Iwon’tlaughatyou,’shesaid,andhereyesbecamefulloftears——shedidnotknowwhy。Buttheretheywere,andshewasashamedtoputupherhandkerchief,andshecouldnotbringherselftoturnawayherface,andshehadnoresourcebutthatheshouldseethem。
’Lily!’hesaid。
’Whatapaladinyouhavebeen,John,rushingallaboutEuropeonyourfriend’sbehalf!’
’Don’ttalkaboutthat。’
’Andsuchasuccessfulpaladintoo!WhyamInottotalkaboutit?Iamgoinghometomorrow,andImeantotalkaboutnothingelseforaweek。I
amsovery,very,gladthatyouhavesavedyourcousin。’Thenshedidputupherhandkerchief,makingbelievethathertearshadbeenduetoMrCrawley。ButJohnEamesknewbetterthanthat。
’Lily,’hesaid,’I’vecomeforthelasttime。ItsoundsasthoughI
meanttothreatenyou;butyouwon’ttakeitinthatway。IthinkyouwillknowwhatImean。Ihavecomeforthelasttime——toaskyoutobemywife。’Shegotuptogreethimwhenheentered,andtheywerebothstillstanding。Shedidnotanswerhimatonce,butturningawayfromhimwalkedtowardsthewindow。’YouknewwhyIwascomingtoday,Lily?’
’MrsArabintoldme。Icouldnotbeawaywhenyouwerecoming,butperhapsitwouldhavebeenbetter。’
’Itisso?Mustitbeso?Mustyousaythattome,Lily?Thinkofitforamoment,dear。’
’Ihavethoughtaboutit。’
’Onewordfromyou,yesorno,spokenistobeeverythingtomeforalways。Lily,cannotyousayyes?’Shedidnotanswerhim,butwalkedfurtherawayfromhimtoanotherwindow。’Trytosayyes。Lookroundatmewithonelookthatmayonlyhalfmeanit;thatmaytellmethatitshallnotpositivelybenoforever。’Ithinkthatshealmosttriedtoturnherfacetohim;butbethatasitmay,shekepthereyessteadilyfixeduponthewindow—pane。’Lily,’hesaid,’itisnotthatyouarehard—hearted——perhapsnotaltogetherthatyoudonotlikeme。Ithinkthatyoubelievethingsagainstmethatarenottrue。’Asshesaidthisshemovedherfootangrilyuponthecarpet。ShehadalmostforgottenM
D,butnowhehadremindedherofthenote。Sheassuredherselfthatshehadneverbelievedanythingagainsthimexceptonevidencethatwasincontrovertible。Butshewasnotgoingtospeaktohimonsuchamatterasthat!Itwouldnotbecomehertoaccusehim。’MrsArabintellsmethatyoudoubtwhetherIamearnest,’hesaid。
Uponhearingthissheflashedrounduponhimalmostangrily。’Ineversaidthat。’
’Ifyouwillaskmeforanytokenofearnestness,Iwillgiveittoyou。’
’Iwantnotoken。’
’Thebestsignofearnestnessamancangivegenerallyinsuchamatter,istoshowhowreadyheistobemarried。’
’Ineversaidanythingaboutearnestness。’
’AttheriskofmakingyouangryIwillgoon,Lily。Ofcoursewhenyoutellmethatyouwillhavenothingtosaytome,Itrytoamusemyself’——’Yes;bywritinglove—letterstoMD,’Lilysaidtoherself——’Whatisapoorfellowtodo?ItellyoufairlythatwhenI
leaveyouIsweartomyselfthatImakelovetothefirstgirlIcanseewhowilllistentome——totwenty,iftwentywillletme。IfeelIhavefailed,anditissoIpunishmyselfformyfailure。’Therewassomethinginthiswhichsoftenedherbrow,thoughshedidnotintendthatitshouldbeso;andsheturnedawayagain,thathemightnotseethatherbrowwassoftened。’But,Lily,thehopeevercomesbackagain,andthenneithertheonenorthetwentyareofavail——eventopunishme。
WhenIlookforwardandseewhatitmightbeifyouwerewithme,howgreenitalllooksandhowlovely,inspiteofallthevowsIhavemade,Icannothelpcomingbackagain。’Shewasnowagainnearthewindow,andhehadnotfollowedher。Assheneitherturnedtowardshimnoransweredhim,hemovedfromthetablenearwhichhewasstandingontotherugbeforethefire,andleanedwithbothhiselbowsonthemantelpiece。Hecouldstillwatchherinthemirrorabovethefireplace,andcouldseethatshewasstillseemingtogazeoutuponthestreet。Andhadhenotmovedher?Ithinkhehadsofarmovedhernow,thatshehadceasedtothinkofthewomanwhohadwrittentoher——thatshehadceasedtorejecthiminherheartonthescoreofsuchlevitiesasthat!IftherewereMDs,likesunkenrocks,inhiscourse,whosefaultwasit?Hewasreadyenoughtosteerhisbarkintothetranquilbluewatersifonlyshewouldaidhim。Ithinkthatallhissinsonthisscorewereatthismomentforgivenhim。Hehadtoldhernowwhattohimwouldbegreenandbeautiful,andshedidnotfindherselfabletodisbelievehim。ShehadbanishedMDoutofhermind,butindoingsosheadmittedotherreminiscencesintoit。Andthen——wassheinamomenttobetalkedoutoftheresolutionofyears;andwasshetogiveupherself,notbecausesheloved,butbecausethemanwhotalkedtohertalkedsowellthathedeservedareward?Wasshenowtobeaslight,asfoolish,aseasy,asinthoseformerdaysfromwhichshehadlearnedherwisdom?Apictureofgreenlovelythingscouldbedelicioustohereyesastohis;butevenforsuchapictureasthatthepricemightbetoodear!Ofalllivingmen——ofallmenlivingintheirpresentlives——shelovedbestthismanwhowasnowwaitingforsomewordofanswertohiswords,andshedidlovehimdearly;shewouldhavetendedhimifsick,havesuppliedhimifinwant;havemournedforhimifdead,withthebittergriefoftrueaffection;——butshecouldnotsaytoherselfthatheshouldbeherlordandmaster,theheadofherhouse,theownerofherself,therulerofherlife。Theshipwrecktowhichshehadoncecome,andthefierceregretswhichhadthencearisen,hadforcedhertothinktoomuchofthesethings。’Lily,’hesaid,stillfacingtowardsthemirror,’willyounotcometomeandspeaktome?’Sheturnedround,andstoodamomentlookingathim,andthen,havingagainresolvedthatitcouldnotbeashewished,shedrewneartohim。’CertainlyIwillspeaktoyou,John。HereIam。’Andshecameclosetohim。
Hetookbothherhands,andlookedintohereyes。’Lily,willyoubemine?’
’No;dear;itcannotbeso。’
’Whynot,Lily?’
’Becauseofthatotherman。’
’Andisthattobeabarforever?’
’Yes;forever。’
’Doyoustilllovehim?’
’No;no,no!’
’Thenwhyshouldthisbeso?’
’Icannottell,dear。Itisso。Ifyoutakeayoungtreeandsplitit,itstilllives,perhaps。Butitisn’tatree。Itisonlyafragment。’
’Thenbemyfragment。’
’SoIwill,ifIcanserveyoutogivestandinggroundtosuchafragmentinsomecornerofyourgarden。ButIwillnothavemyselfplantedoutinthemiddle,forpeopletolookat。Whatthereisleftwoulddiesoon。’Hestillheldherhands,andshedidnotattempttodrawthemaway。’John,’shesaid,’nexttomamma,Iloveyoubetterthanalltheworld。IndeedIdo。Ican’tbeyourwife,butyouneedneverbeafraidthatIshallbemoretoanotherthanIamtoyou。’
’Thatwillnotserveme,’hesaid,graspingbothherhandstillhealmosthurtthem,butnotknowingthathedidso。’Thatisnogood。’
’ItisallthegoodthatIcandoyou。IndeedIcandoyou——candonooneanygood。Thetreesthatthestormshavesplinteredareneverofuse。’
’Andisthistobetheendofit,Lily?’
’Notofourlovingfriendship。’
’Friendship!Ihatetheword。Ihearsomeone’sstep,andIhadbetterleaveyou。Good—bye。’
’Good—bye,John。Bekinderthanthattomeasyouaregoing。’Heturnedbackforamoment,tookherhand,andheldittightagainsthisheart,andthenhelefther。InthehallhemetMrsThorne,but,asshesaidafterwards,hehadbeentoomuchknockedabouttobeabletothrowawordtoadog。
ToMrsThorneLilysaidhardlyawordaboutJohnEames,andwhenhercousinBernardquestionedherabouthimshewasdumb。Andinthesedaysshecouldassumeamanner,andexpressherselfwithhereyesaswellaswithhervoice,afterafashion,whichwasapttosilenceunwelcomequestions,eventhoughtheywereintimatewithheraswashercousinBernard。Shehaddescribedherfeelingsmoreplainlytoherloverthanshehadeverdonetoanyone——eventohermother;andhavingdonesoshemeanttobesilentonthatsubjectforevermore。Butofhersettledpurpose,shedidsaysomewordtoEmilyDunstablethatnight。’Idofeel,’shesaid,’thatIhavegotthethingsettledatlast。’
’Andhaveyousettledit,asyoucallit,inoppositiontothewishesofallyourfriends?’
’Thatistrue;andyetIhavesettleditrightly,andIwouldnotforworldshaveitunsettledagain。Therearemattersonwhichfriendsshouldnothavewishes,oratanyrateshouldnotexpressthem。’
’Isthatmeanttobeseveretome?’
’No;nottoyou。Iwasthinkingaboutmamma,andBell,andmyuncle,andBernard,whoallseemtothinkthatIamtobelookeduponasaregularcastawaybecauseIamnotlikelytohaveahusbandofmyown。Ofcourseyou,inyourposition,mustthinkagirlacastawaywhoisn’tgoingtobemarried?’
’Ithinkthatagirlwhoisgoingtobemarriedhasthebestofit。’
’AndIthinkagirlwhoisn’tgoingtobemarriedhasthebestofit;——that’sall。ButIfeelthatthethingisdonenow,andIamcontented。Forthelastsixoreightmonthstherehascomeup,Iknownothow,astateofdoubtwhichasmademesowretchedthatIhavedoneliterallynothing。Ihaven’tbeenabletofinisholdMrsHeard’stippet,literallybecausepeoplewouldtalktomeaboutthatdearestofalldearfellows,JohnEames。AndyetallalongIhaveknownhowitwouldbe——aswellasIdonow。’
’Icannotunderstandyou,Lily;Ican’tindeed。’
’Icanunderstandmyself。Ilovehimsowell——withthatintimate,close,familiaraffection——thatIcouldwashhisclothesforhimtomorrow,outofpurepersonalregard,andthinkitnoshame。Hecouldnotaskmetodoasinglethingforhim——exceptonething——thatIwouldrefuse。AndI’llgofurther。IwouldsoonermarryhimthananyothermanIeversaw,or,asIbelieve,thatIevershallsee。AndyetIamgladthatitissettled。’
OnthenextdayLilyDalewentdowntotheSmallHouseofAllington,andsoshepassesoutofsight。Icanonlyaskthereadertobelievethatshewasinearnest,andexpressmyopinion,inthislastword,thatI
shalleverwriterespectingher,thatshewillliveanddieasLilyDale。
CHAPTERLXXVIII
THEARABINSRETURNTOBARCHESTER
InthesedaysMrHardingwaskeepinghisbedatthedeanery,andmostofthosewhosawhimdeclaredthathewouldneveragainleaveit。Thearchdeaconhadbeenslowtobelieveso,becausehehadstillfoundhisfather—in—lawabletotalktohim;notindeedwithenergy——butthenMrHardinghadneverbeenenergeticonordinarymatters——butwiththesamesoftcordialinterestinthingswhichhadeverbeencustomarywithhim。
HehadlatterlybeenmuchinterestedaboutMrCrawley,andwouldmakeboththearchdeaconandMrsGrantlytellhimallthattheyhadheard,andwhattheythoughtofthecase。Thisofcoursehadbeenbeforetheall—importantnewshadbeenreceivedfromMrsArabin。MrHardingwasveryanxious。’Firstly,’hesaid,’forthewelfareofthepoorman,ofwhomIcannotbringmyselftothinkill;andthenforthehonouroftheclothinBarchester。’’Weareasliabletohaveblacksheephereasanywhere,’thearchdeaconhadreplied。’But,mydear,Idonotthinkthesheepisblack;andweneverhavehadblacksheepinBarchester。’
’Haven’twe,though?’saidthearchdeacon,thinking,however,ofsheepwhowereblackofadifferentkindofblacknessfromthiswhichwasnowattributedtoMrCrawley——ofablacknesswhichwasnotabsoluteblacknesstoMrHarding’smildereyes。Thearchdeacon,whenheheardhisfather—in—lawtalkafterthisfashion,expressedhisopinionthathemightliveforyears。Hewasjustthemantolingeron,livinginbed——asindeedhehadlingeredallhislifeoutofbed。Butthedoctorwhoattendedhimthoughtotherwise,asdidalsoMrsGrantly,andasdidMrsBaxter,andasalsodidPosy。’Grandpawon’tgetupanymore,willhe?’PosysaidtoMrsBaxter。’Ihopehewill,mydear;andthatverysoon。’’Idon’tthinkhewill,’saidPosy,’becausehesaidhewouldneverseethebigfiddleagain。’’Thatcomesofbeingalittlemelancholylike,mydear,’saidMrsBaxter。
MrsGrantlyatthistimewentintoBarchesteralmosteveryday,andthearchdeacon,whowasveryofteninthecity,neverwenttherewithoutpassinghalf—an—hourwiththeoldman。Thesetwoclergymen,essentiallydifferentintheircharactersandineverydetailofconduct,hadbeensomuchthrowntogetherbycircumstancesthatthelifeofeachalmostbecamepartofthelifeoftheother。AlthoughthefactofMrHarding’sresidenceatthedeaneryhadoflateyearsthrownhimoftenerintothesocietyofthedeanthanthatofhisotherson—in—law,yethisintimacywiththearchdeaconhadbeensomuchearlier,andhismemoriesofthearchdeaconweresomuchclearer,thathedependedalmostmoreupontherectorofPlumstead,whowasabsent,thanhediduponthedean,whomhecustomarilysaweveryday。Itwasnotsowiththedaughters。HisNelly,asheusedtocallher,hadeverbeenhisfavourite,andthecircumstancesoftheirjointliveshadeverbeensuch,thattheyhadneverbeenfurtherseparatedthanfromonestreetofBarchestertoanother——andthatonlyforaveryshortperiodofthemarriedlifeofMrsArabin’sfirsthusband。Forallthatwassoftandtendertherefore——whichwithMrHardingwasallintheworldthatwascharmingtohim——helookedtohisyoungestdaughter;butforauthorityandguidanceandwisdom,andforinformationastowhatwasgoingonintheworld,hehadstillturnedtohisson—in—lawthearchdeacon——ashehaddoneforalmostfortyyears。Forsolonghadthearchdeaconbeenpotentasaclergymaninthediocese,andthroughoutthewholedurationofsuchpotencyhiswordhadbeenlawtoMrHardinginmostoftheaffairsoflife——alawgenerallytobeobeyed,andifsometimesbroken,stillalaw。Andnow,whenallwassonearlyover,hewouldbecomeunhappyifthearchdeacon’svisitswerefarbetween。DrGrantly,whenhefoundthatthiswasso,wouldnotallowthattheyshouldbefarbetween。
’Heputsmesomuchinmindofmyfather,’thearchdeaconsaidtohiswifeoneday。
’Heisnotsooldasyourfatherwaswhenhedied,bymanyyears,’saidMrsGrantly,’andIthinkoneseesthatdifference。’
’Yes;andthereforeIsaythathemaystillliveforyears。Myfather,whenhetooktohisbedatlast,wasmanifestlynearhisdeath。Thewonderwithhimwasthathecontinuedtolivesolong。DoyounotrememberhowtheLondondoctorwasputoutbecausehisprophecieswerenotfulfilled?’
’Irememberitwell——asifitwereyesterday。’
’Andinthatwaythereisagreatdifference。Myfather,whowasphysicallyamuchstrongerman,didnotsuccumbsoeasily。Butthelikenessisintheircharacters。Thereisthesamemildsweetness,becomingmilderandsweeterastheyincreasedinage——asweetnessthatnevercouldbelievemuchevil,butthatcouldbelieveless,andstillless,astheweaknessofagecameuponthem。NoamountofevidencewouldinduceyourfathertothinkthatMrCrawleystolethatmoney。’ThiswassaidofcoursebeforethetelegramhadcomefromVenice。
’Asfarasthatgoes,Iagreewithhim,’saidMrsGrantly,whohadherownreasonsforchoosingtobelieveMrCrawleytobeinnocent。’Ifyourson,mydear,istomarrytheman’sdaughter,itwillbeaswellthatyoushouldatleastbeabletosaythatyoudonotbelievethatmantobeathief。’
’Thatisneitherherenorthere,’saidthearchdeacon。’Ajurymustdecideit。’
’NojuryinBarsetshireshalldecideitforme,’saidMrsGrantly。
’I’msickofMrCrawley,andI’msorryIspokeofhim,’saidthearchdeacon。’ButlookatMrsProudie。You’llagreethatshewasnotthemostcharmingwomanintheworld。’
’Shecertainlywasnot,’saidMrsGrantly,whowasanxioustoencourageherhusband,ifshecoulddosowithoutadmittinganythingwhichmightinjureherselfafterwards。
’Andshewasatonetimeviolentlyinsolenttoyourfather。Andeventhebishopthoughttotrampleonhim。Doyourememberthebishop’spreachingagainstyourfather’schanting?IfIeverforgetit!’Andthearchdeaconslappedhisclosedfistagainsthisopenhand。
’Don’t,dear,don’t。Whatisthegoodofbeingviolentnow?’
’Paltrylittlefool!ItwillbelongenoughbeforesuchachauntasthatisheardinandEnglishcathedralagain。’ThenMrsGrantlygotupandkissedherhusband,buthe,somewhatnegligentofthekiss,wentonwithhisspeech。’Butyourfatherremembersnothingofit,andiftherewasasinglehumanbeingwhoshedatearinBarchesterforthatwoman,I
believeitwasyourfather。Anditwasthesamewithmine。Itcametothatatlast,thatIcouldnotbeartospeaktohimofanyshortcomingsastooneofhisownclergymen。Imightaswellhaveprickedhimwithapenknife。Andyettheysaymenbecomeheartlessandunfeelingastheygrowold。’
’Somedo,Isuppose。’