Morbidsentiment！Whyshouldshebeaccusedofmorbidsentimentbecauseshewasunabletotransferheraffectionstoamanwhohadbeenfixedonasherfuturehusbandbythelargecircleofacquaintanceswhohadinterestedthemselvesinheraffairs？Therewasnothingmorbidineitherherdesiresorherregrets。Sosheassuredherself，withsomethingverylikeangerattheaccusationmadeagainsther。Shehadbeencontented，andwascontented，toliveathomeashermotherhadlived，askingfornoexcitementbeyondthatgivenbythedailyroutineofherduties。
Therecouldbenothingmorbidinthat。ShewouldgobacktoAllingtonassoonasmightbe，andhavedonewiththisLondonlife，whichonlymadeherwretched。ThisseeingofCrosbiehadbeenterribletoher。Shedidnottellherselfthathisimagehadbeenshattered。Herideawasthatallhermiseryhadcomefromtheuntowardnessofthemeeting。Buttherewasthefactthatshehadseenthemanandheardhisvoice，andthattheseeinghimandhearinghimhadmadehermiserable。Shecertainlydesiredthatitmightneverbeherloteithertoseehimortohearhimagain。
AndasforJohnEames——inthosebittermomentsofherreflectionshealmostwishedthesameinregardtohim。Ifhewouldonlyceasetobeherlover，hemightbeverywell；buthewasnotverywelltoheraslongashispretensionsweredinnedintoherearbyeverybodywhoknewher。AndthenshetoldherselfthatJohnwouldhaveabetterchanceifhehadbeencontenttopleadforhimself。Inthis，Ithink，shewasharduponherlover。Hehadpleadedforhimselfaswellasheknewhow，andasoftenastheoccasionhadbeengiventohim。Ithadhardlybeenhisfaultthathiscasehadbeentakeninhandbyotheradvocates。HehadgivennocommissiontoMrsThornetopleadforhim。
PoorJohnny。HehadstoodinmuchbetterfavourbeforethatladyhadpresentedhercomplimentstoMissLD。Itwasthatodiousletter，andthethoughtswhichithadforceduponLily’smind，whichwerenowmostinimicaltohisinterests。WhetherLilylovedhimornot，shedidnotlovehimwellenoughtobejealousofhim。HadnaysuchletterreachedherrespectingCrosbieinthehappydaysofheryounglove，shewouldhavesimplyhavelaughedatit。Itwouldhavebeennothingtoher。Butnowshewassoreandunhappy，andanytriflewaspowerfulenoughtoirritateher。’IsMissLDengagedtomarryMrJE？’’No，’saidLily，outloud。’LilyDaleisnotengagedtomarryJohnEames，andneverwillbesoengaged。’ShewasalmosttemptedtositdownandwritetherequiredanswertoMissMD。Thoughtheletterhadbeendestroyed，shewellrememberedthenumberofthepost—officeintheEdgwareRoad。PoorJohnEames。
ThateveningshetoldEmilyDunstablethatshethoughtshewouldliketoreturntoAllingtonbeforethedaythathadbeenappointedforher。’Butwhy，’saidEmily，’shouldyoubeworsethanyourword？’
’Idaresayitwillseemsilly，butthefactisIamhomesick。I’mnotaccustomedtobeawayfrommamaforsolong。’
’Ihopeitisnotwhatoccurredtodayatthepicture—gallery。’
’Iwon’tdenythatitisthatinpart。’
’Thatwasastrangeaccident，youknow，thatmightneveroccuragain。’
’Ithasoccurredtwicealready，Emily。’
’Idon’tcalltheaffairintheparkanything。AnybodymayseeanybodyelseinthePark，ofcourse。Hewasnotbroughtnearyouthathecouldannoyyouthere。YououghtcertainlytowaittillMrEameshascomebackfromItaly。’
ThenLilydecidedthatshemustandwouldgobacktoAllingtononthenextMonday，andsheactuallydidwritealettertohermotherthatnighttosaythatsuchwasherintention。Butonthemorrowherheartwaslesssore，andtheletterwasnotsent。
CHAPTERLX
THEENDOFJAELANDSISERA
Therewastobeonemoresittingforthepicture，asthereaderwillremember，andthedayforthatsittinghadarrived。ConwayDalrymplehadinthemeantimecalledatMrsVanSiever’shouse，hopingthathemightbeabletoseeClara，andmakehisofferthere。Buthehadfailedinhisattempttoreachher。Hehadfounditimpossibletosayallthathehadtosayinthepainting—roomduringtheveryshortintervalswhichMrsBroughtonlefttohim。Amanshouldbeallowedtobealonemorethanfifteenminuteswithayoungladyontheoccasioninwhichheoffersherhishandandhisheart；buthithertohehadneverhadmorethanfifteenminutesathiscommand；andthentherehadbeentheturban！HehadalsointhemeantimecalledinMrsBroughtonwiththeintentionofexplainingtoherthatifshereallyintendedtofavourhisviewsinrespecttoMissVanSiever，sheoughttogivehimalittlemorelibertyforexpressinghimself。MrsBroughtonfounditnecessaryduringthismeetingtotalkalmostexclusivelyaboutherselfandherownaffairs。’Conway，’
shehadsaid，directlyshesawhim，’Iamsogladyouhavecome。IthinkIshouldhavegonemadifIhadnotseensomeonewhocaresforme。’Thiswasearlyinthemorning，notmuchaftereleven，andMrsBroughton，hearingfirsthisknockatthedoor，andthenhisvoice，hadmethiminthehallandtakenhimintothedining—room。
’Isanythingthematter？’heasked。
’Oh，Conway！’
’Whatisit？HasanythinggonewrongwithDobbs？’
’Everythinghasgonewrongwithhim。Heisruined。’
’Heavenandearth！Whatdoyoumean？’
’SimplywhatIsay。Butyoumustnotspeakawordofit。Idonotknowitfromhimself。’
’Howdoyouknowit？’
’Waitamoment。Sitdownthere，willyou？——andIwillsitbyyou。No，Conway；donottakemyhand。Itisnotright。There；——so。YesterdayMrsVanSieverwashere。Ineednottellyouallthatshesaidtome，evenifIcould。Shewasveryharshandcruel，sayingallmannerofthingsaboutDobbs。HowcanIhelpit，ifhedrinks？Ihavenotencouragedhim。
Andasforexpensiveliving，Ihavebeenasignorantasachild。Ihaveneveraskedforanything。Whenweweremarriedsomebodytoldmehowmuchweshouldhavetospend。Itwaseithertwothousand，orthreethousand，orfourthousand，orsomethinglikethat。Youknow，Conway，howignorantIamaboutmoney；——thatIamlikeachild。Isitnottrue？’ShewaitedforananswerandDalrymplewasobligedtoacknowledgethatitwastrue。
Andyethehadknownthetimesinwhichhisdearfriendhadbeenverysharpinhermemorywithreferencetoafewpounds。’AndnowshesaysthatDobbsoweshermoneywhichhecannotpayher，andthateverythingmustbesold。ShesaysthatMusselboromusthavethebusiness，andDobbsmustshiftforhimselfelsewhere。’
’Doyoubelievethatshehasthepowertodecidethatthingsshallgothiswayorthat——asshepleases？’
’HowamItoknow？Shesaysso，andshesaysitisbecausehedrinks。
Hedoesdrink。Thatatleastistrue；buthowcanIhelpit？Oh，Conway，whatamItodo？Dobbsdidnotcomehomeatalllastnight，butsentforhisthings——sayingthathemuststayintheCity。WhatamItodoiftheycomeandtakethehouse，andsellthefurniture，andturnmeoutintothestreet？’Thenthepoorcreaturebegantocryinearnest，andDalrymplehadtoconsoleherasbesthemight。’HowIwishIhadknownyoufirst，’shesaid。TothisDalrymplewasabletomakenodirectanswer。Hewaswiseenoughtoknowthatadirectanswermightpossibleleadhimintoterribletrouble。Hewasbynomeansanxioustofindhimself’protecting’MrsDobbsBroughtonfromtheruinwhichherhusbandhadbroughtuponher。
Beforehelefthershehadtoldhimalongstory，partlyofmattersofwhichhehadknownsomethingbefore，andpartlymadeupofthatwhichshehadheardfromtheoldwoman。Itwassettled，MrsBroughtonsaid，thatMrMusselborowastomarryClaraVanSiever。Butitappeared，asfarasDalrymplecouldlearn，thatthiswasasettlementmadesimplybetweenMrsVanSieverandMusselboro。Clara，ashethought，wasnotagirllikelytofallintosuchasettlementwithouthavinganopinionofherown。Musselborowastohavethebusiness，andDobbsBroughtonwastobe’soldup’andthenlookforemploymentintheCity。Fromherhusbandthewifehadnotheardawordonthematter，andtheabovestorywassimplywhathadbeentoldtoMrsBroughtonbyMrsVanSiever。’Formyselfitseemsthattherecanbebutonefate，’saidMrsBroughton。
Dalrymple，inhistenderestvoice，askedwhatthatonefatemustbe。
’Nevermind，’saidMrsBroughton。’Therearesomethingswhichonecannottelleventosuchafriendasyou。’Hewassittingnearherandhadallbutgothisarmbehindherwaist。Hewas，however，abletobeprudent。’Maria，’hesaid，gettinguponhisfeet，’ifitshouldreallycomea...完整阅读请扫描二维码下载丁香书院APP免费看：