首页 >出版文学> The Last Chronicle of Barset>第44章
  Thentherecametidings,addressedonthisoccasiontoMrsGrantly,thatCosbyLodgewastobegivenup。Lady—dayhadcome,andthenoticenecessarilytobegivenatthatperiod,wassogiven。’Iknowthiswillgrieveyou,’MajorGrantlyhadsaid,’butmyfatherhasdrivenmetoit。’This,initself,wasacauseofgreatsorrow,bothtothearchdeaconandtoMrsGrantly,astherewerecircumstancesconnectedwithCosbyLodgewhichmadethemthinkthatitwasaverydesirableresidencefortheirson。’Ishallselleverythingabouttheplaceandgoabroadatonce,’hesaidinasubsequentletter。’Mypresentideaisthat,IshallsettlemyselfatPau,asmyincomewillsufficeformetolivethere,andeducationforEdithwillbecheap。AtanyrateIwillnotcontinuetoliveinEngland。Icouldneverbehappyhereincircumstancesoaltered。OfcourseIshouldnothaveleftmyprofession,unlessIhadunderstoodfrommyfatherthattheincomearisingfromitwouldnotbenecessarytome。Idonot,however,meantocomplain,butsimplytotellyouthatIshallgo。’Thereweremanylettersbetweenthemotherandsoninthosedays。
  ’Ishallstaytillafterthetrial,’hesaid。’Ifshewillthengowithme,wellandgood;butwhethershewillornot,Ishallnotremainhere。’AllthisseemedtoMrsGrantlytobepeculiarlyunfortunate,forhadhenotresolvedtogo,thingsmightevenyethaverightedthemselves。FromwhatshecouldnowunderstandofthecharacterofMissCrawley,whomshedidnotknowpersonally,shethoughtitprobablethatGrace,intheeventofherfatherbeingfoundguiltybythejury,wouldabsolutelyandpersistentlyrefusetheoffermadetoher。Shewouldbetoogood,asMrsGrantlyputittoherself,tobringmiseryanddisgraceintoanotherfamily。ButshouldMrCrawleybeacquitted,andshouldthemarriagethentakeplace,thearchdeaconhimselfmightprobablybegottoforgiveit。IneithercasetherewouldbenonecessityforbreakingupthehouseatCosbyLodge。ButherdearsonHenry,herbestbeloved,wasobstinateandstiff—neckedandwouldtakenoadvice。’Heisevenworsethanhisfather,’shesaid,inhershort—livedanger,toherownfathertowhomaloneatthistimeshecouldunburdenhergriefs,seekingconsolationandencouragement。
  Itwasherhabittogoovertothedeaneryatanyratetwiceaweekatthistime,andontheoccasionofoneofthevisitssomade,sheexpressedverystronglyherdistressatthefamilyquarrelwhichhadcomeamongthem。Theoldmantookhisgrandson’spartthroughandthrough。’Idonotatallseewhyheshouldnotmarrytheyoungladyifhelikesher。Asformoney,thereoughttobeenoughwithouthishavingtolookforawifewithafortune。’
  ’Itisnotaquestionofmoney,papa。’
  ’Andastorank,’continuedMrHarding,’Henrywillnotatanyratebegoinglowerthanhisfatherdidwhenhemarriedyou;——notsolowindeed,foratthattimeIwasonlyaminorcanon,andMrCrawleyisinpossessionofabenefice。’
  ’Papa,allthisisnonsense。Itisindeed。’
  ’Verylikely,mydear。’
  ’ItisnotbecauseMrCrawleyisonlyperpetualcurateofHogglestockthatthearchdeaconobjectstothemarriage。Ithasnothingtodowiththatatall。Atthepresentmomentheisindisgrace。’
  ’Underacloud,mydear。Letuspraythatitmayonlybeapassingcloud。’
  ’Alltheworldthinksthatheisguilty。Andthenheissuchaman;——sosingular,sounlikeanybodyelse!Youknow,papa,thatIdon’tthinkverymuchofmoney,merelyasmoney。’
  ’Ihopenot,mydear。Moneyisworththinkingof,butitisnotworthverymuchthought。’
  ’Butitdoesgiveadvantages,andtheabsenceofadvantagesmustbeverymuchfeltintheeducationofagirl。YouwouldhardlywishHenrytomarryayoungwomanwho,fromthewantofmoney,hadnotbeenbroughtupamongladies。ItisnotMissCrawley’sfault,butsuchhasbeenherlot。
  Wecannotignorethesedeficiencies,papa。’
  ’Certainlynot,mydear。’
  ’Youwouldnot,forinstance,wishthatHenryshouldmarryakitchen—maid。’
  ’ButisMissCrawleyakitchen—maid,Susan?’
  ’Idon’tquitesaythat。’
  ’Iamtoldthatshehasbeeneducatedinfinitelymorethanmostoftheyoungladiesintheneighbourhood,’saidMrHarding。
  ’YouknowwhatImean,papa。Butthefactis,thatitisimpossibletodealwithmen。Theywillneverbereasonable。AmarriagesuchasthiswouldbeinjurioustoHenry;butitwillnotberuinous;andastodisinheritinghimforit,thatwouldbedownrightwicked。’
  ’Ithinkso,’saidMrHarding。
  ’ButthearchdeaconwilllookatitasthoughitwoulddestroyHenryandEdithtogether,whileyouspeakofitasthoughitwerethebestthingintheworld。’
  ’Iftheyoungpeopleloveeachother,Ithinkitwouldbethebestthingintheworld,’saidMrHarding。
  ’But,papa,youcannotbutthinkthathisfather’swishshouldgoforsomething,’saidMrsGrantly,who,desirousasshewasontheonesidetosupportherson,couldnotbearthatherhusbandshould,ontheotherside,bedeclaredtobealtogetherinthewrong。
  ’Idonotknow,mydear,’saidMrHarding;’butIdothinkthatifthetwoyoungpeoplearefondofeachother,andifthereisanythingforthemtoliveupon,itcannotberighttokeepthemapart。Youknow,mydear,sheisthedaughterofagentleman。’MrsGrantlyuponthisleftherfatheralmostbrusquely,withoutspeakinganotherwordonthesubject;forthoughwasopposedtothevehementangerofherhusband,shecouldnotendurethepropositionnowmadebyherfather。
  MrHardingwasatthistimelivingallaloneinthedeanery。Forsomefewyearsthedeaneryhadbeenhishome,andashisyoungestdaughterwasthedean’swife,therecouldnomorecomfortableresting—placefortheeveningofhislife。Duringthelastmonthortwothedayshadgonetediouslylongwithhim;forhehadhadthelargehousealltohimself,andhewasamanwhodidnotlovesolitude。Itishardtoconceivethattheold,whosethoughtshavebeenallthoughtout,shouldeverlovetolivealone。Solitudeissurelyfortheyoung,whohavetimebeforethemfortheexecutionofschemes,andwhocan,therefore,takedelightinthinking。Inthesedaysthepooroldmanwouldwanderabouttherooms,shamblingfromonechambertoanother,andwouldfeelashamedwhentheservantsmethimeveronthemove。Hewouldmakelittleapologiesforhisuneasiness,whichtheywouldacceptgraciously,understanding,afterafashion,whyitwasthathewasuneasy。’Heain’tgotnothingtodo,’
  saidthehousemaidtothecook’andasforreading,theysaythatsomeoftheyoungonescanreadalldaysometimes,andallnighttoo;butblessyou,whenyou’renigheighty,readingdon’tgoformuch。’ThehousemaidwasrightastoMrHarding’sreading。Hewasnotonewhohadreadsomuchinhisearlierdaysastoenablehimtomakereadinggofarwithhimnowthathewasneareighty。Sohewanderedabouttheroom,andsathereforafewminutes,andthereforafewminutes,andthoughhedidnotsleepmuch,hemadethehoursofthenightasmanyaspossible。
  Everymorningheshambledacrossfromthedeanerytothecathedral,andattendedthemorningservice,sittinginthestallwhichhehadoccupiedforfiftyyears。Thedistancewasveryshort,notexceeding,indeedahundredyardsfromaside—doorinthedeanerytoanotherside—doorintothecathedral;butshortasitwastherehadcometobeaquestionwhetherheshouldbeallowedtogoalone。Ithadbeenfearedthathemightfallonhispassageandhurthimself;fortherewasastephere,andastepthere,andthelightwasnotverygoodinthepurlieusoftheoldcathedral。Awordortwohadbeensaidonce,andtheofferofanarmtohelphimhadbeenmade;buthehadrejectedtheofferedassistance——softly,indeed,butstillfirmly——andeverydayhetotteredoffbyhimselfhardlyliftinghisfeetashewent,andaidinghimselfonhisjourneybyahanduponthewallwhenhethoughtthatnobodywaslookingathim。Butmanydidseehim,andtheywhoknewhim——ladiesgenerallyofthecity——wouldofferhimahand。NobodywasmilderinhisdislikingsthanMrHarding;buttherewereladiesinBarchesteruponwhosearmhewouldalwaysdeclinetolean,bowingcourteouslyashedidso,andsayingawordortwoofconstrainedcivility。Therewereotherswhomhewouldallowtoaccompanyhimhometothedoorofthedeanery,withwhomhedelightedtolingerandchatifthemorningwaswarm,andtowhomhewouldtelllittlestoriesofhisowndoingsinthecathedralservicesintheolddays,whenBishopGrantlyhadruledthediocese。
  NeveraworddidhesayagainstBishopProudie,oragainstBishopProudie’swife;butthemanywordswhichhedidsayinpraiseofBishopGrantly——who,byhisshowing,wassurelyoneofthebestofchurchmenwhoeverwalkedthroughthisvaleofsorrow——wereaseloquentindispraiseoftheexistingprelateascouldeverhavebeenanymoreclearly—pointedphrases。Thisdailyvisittothecathedral,wherehewouldsayhisprayersashehadsaidthemforsomanyyears,andlistentotheorgan,ofwhichheknewallthepowerandeveryblemishasthoughhehimselfhadmadethestopsandfixedthepipes,wasthechiefoccupationofhislife。Itwasapitythatitcouldnothavebeenmadetocoveralargerportionofhisday。
  Itwassometimessadenoughtowatchhimashesatalone。Hewouldhaveabooknearhim,andforawhilewouldkeepitinhishands。Itwouldgenerallybesomevolumeofgoodoldstandardtheologywithwhichhehadbeen,orsupposedhimselftohavebeen,conversantfromhisyouth。Butthebookwouldsoonbelaidaside,andgraduallyhewouldmovehimselfawayfromit,andhewouldstandabouttheroom,lookingnowoutofawindowfromwhichhewouldfancythathecouldnotbeseen,orgazingupatsomeprintwhichhehadknownforyears;andthenhewouldsitdownforawhileinonechair,andforawhileinanother,whilehismindwaswanderingbackintotheolddays,thinkingofoldtroublesandrememberingoldjoys。Andhehadahabit,whenhewassurethathethathewasnotwatched,ofcreepinguptoagreatblackwoodencase,whichalwaysstoodinonecornerofthesitting—roomwhichheoccupiedinthedeanery。MrHarding,whenhewasyounger,hadbeenaperformeronthevioloncello,andinthiscasetherewasstilltheinstrumentfromwhichhehadbeenwonttoextractthesoundswhichhehadsodearlyloved。Nowintheselatterdayshenevermadeanyattempttoplay。Soonafterhehadcometothedeanerytherehadfallenuponhimanillness,andafterthathehadneveragainaskedforhisbow。Theywhowerearoundhim——hisdaughterchieflyandherhusband——hadgiventhemattermuchthought,arguingwiththemselveswhetherornoitwouldbebettertoinvitehimtoresumethetaskhesoloved;forofalltheworksofhislifethisplayingonthevioloncellohadbeenthesweetesttohim;butevenbeforethatillnesshishandhadgreatlyfailedhim,andthedeanandMrsArabinhadagreedthatitwouldbebettertoletthematterpasswithoutaword。Hehadneveraskedtobeallowedtoplay。Hehadexpressednoregrets。Whenhehimselfwouldproposethathisdaughtershould’givethemalittlemusic’——andhewouldmakesuchapropositiononeveryeveningthatwassuitable——hewouldneversayawordofthoseformerperformancesatwhichhehimselfhadtakenapart。ButithadbecomeknowntoMrsArabin,throughtheservants,thathehadoncedraggedtheinstrumentforthfromitscasewhenhethoughtthehousetobenearlydeserted;andawailofsoundshadbeenheard,verylow,veryshort—lived,recurringnowandagainatfitfulintervals。Hehadatthosetimesattemptedtoplay,asthoughwithamuffledbow——sothatnoneshouldknowofhisvanityandfolly。Thentherehadbeenfurtherconsultationsatthedeanery,andithadbeenagainagreedthatitwouldbebesttosaynothingtohimofhismusic。
  IntheselatterdaysofwhichIamnowspeakinghewouldneverdrawtheinstrumentoutofitscase。Indeedhewasawarethatitwastooheavyforhimtohandlewithoutassistance。Buthewouldpasshisfingersamongthebroadstrings,andeverandanonwouldproducefromoneofthemalow,melancholy,almostunearthlysound。Andthenhewouldpause,neverdaringtoproducesuchnotesinsuccession——onecloseupontheother。Andtheselastsadmoansoftheoldfiddlewerenowknownthroughthehousehold。Theyweretheghostsofthemelodyofdayslongpast。Heimaginedthathisvisitstotheboxwereunsuspected——thatnoneknewofthefollyofhisoldfingerswhichcouldnotkeepthemselvesfromtouchingthewires;butthevoiceoftheoldvioloncellohadbeenrecognisedbytheservantsandbyhisdaughter,andwhenthatlowwailwasheardthroughthehouse——likethelastdyingnoteofadirge——theywouldallknowthatMrHardingwasvisitinghisancientfriend。
  WhenthedeanandMrsArabinhadfirsttalkedofgoingabroadforalongvisit,ithadbeenunderstoodthatMrHardingshouldpasstheperiodoftheirabsencewithhisotherdaughteratPlumstead;butwhenthetimecamehebeggedMrsArabintobeallowedtoremaininhisoldrooms。’OfcourseIshallgobackwardsandforwards,’hehadsaid。’ThereisnothingIlikesomuchasachangenowandthen。’TheresulthadbeenthathehadgoneoncetoPlumsteadduringthedean’sabsence。Whenhehadthusremonstrated,begginggobeallowedtoremaininBarchester,MrsArabinhaddeclaredherintentionofgivinguphertour。Intellingherfatherofthisshehadnotsaidthatheralteredpurposehadarisenfromherdisinclinationtoleavehimalone;buthehadperceivedthatitwasso,andhadthenconsentedtobetakenovertoPlumstead。Therewasnothing,hesaid,whichhewouldlikesomuchasgoingovertoPlumsteadforfourorfivemonths。Ithadendedinhishavinghisownwayaltogether。TheArabinshadgoneupontheirtour,andhewasleftinpossessionofthedeanery。’IshouldnotliketodieoutofBarchester,’
  hesaidtohimselfinexcusetohimselfforhisdisinclinationtosojournlongunderthearchdeacon’sroof。But,intruth,thearchdeacon,wholovedhimwellandwho,afterafashion,hadalwaysbeengoodtohim——whohadalwaysspokenoftheconnexionwhichhadboundthetwofamiliestogetherasthegreatblessingofhislife——wastooroughinhisgreetingsfortheoldman。MrHardinghadevermixedsomethingoffearwithhiswarmaffectionforhiselderson—in—law,andnowintheseclosinghoursofhislifehecouldnotavoidacertainamountofshrinkingfromthatloudvoice——acertaininaptitudetobequiteateaseinthatcommandingpresence。Thedean,hissecondson—in—law,hadbeenamodernfriendincomparisonwiththearchdeacon;butthedeanwasmoregentlewithhim;andthenthedean’swifehadeverbeenthedearesttohimofhumanbeings。Itmaybeadoubtwhetheroneofthedean’schildrenwasnotnowalmostmoredear,andwhetherinthesedayshedidnothavemorefreecommunicationwiththatlittlegirlthanwithanyotherhumanbeing。HernamewasSusan,buthehadalwayscalledherPosy,havinghimselfinventedforherthatsoubriquet。WhenithadbeenproposedtohimtopassthewinterandspringatPlumstead,thesuggestionhadbeenmadealluringbyapromisethatPosyalsoshouldbetakentoMrsGrantly’shouse。Buthe,aswehaveseen,remainedatthedeanery,andPosyhadremainedwithhim。
  Posywasnowfiveyearsold,andcouldtalkwell,andhadherownideasofthings。Posy’seyes——hers,andnoothersbesidesherown——wereallowedtoseetheinhabitantofthebigblackcase;andnowthatthedeanerywassonearlydeserted,Posy’sfingershadtouchedthestringsandhadproducedaninfantinemoan。’Grandpa,letmedoitagain。’
  Twang!Itwasnot,however,intruth,atwang,butasoundasofaprolongeddull,almostdeadly,hum—m—m—m—m!Onthisoccasionthemoanwasnotentirelyinfantine——Posy’sfingershavingbeensomethingtoostrong——andthecasewasclosedandlocked,andgrandpashookhishead。
  ’ButMrsBaxterwon’tbeangry,’saidPosy。MrsBaxterwasthehousekeeperinthedeanery,andhadMrHardingunderherespecialcharge。
  ’No,mydarling;MrsBaxterwillnotbeangry,butwemustn’tdisturbthehouse。’
  ’No,’saidPosy,withmuchofimportantaweinhertone;’wemustn’tdisturbthehouse;mustwe,grandpa?’Andsoshegaveinheradhesiontotheclosingofthecase。ButPosycouldplaycat’s—cradle,andascat’s—cradledidnotdisturbthehouseatall,therewasagooddealofcat’s—cradleplayedinthosedays。Posy’sfingersweresosoftandpretty,sosmallanddeft,thatthedearoldmandelightedintakingthestringsfromthem,andinhavingthemtakenfromhisownbythosetenderlittledigits。
  OntheafternoonaftertheconversationrespectingGraceCrawleywhichisrecordedintheearlypartofthischapter,amessengerfromBarchesterwentovertoPlumstead,andpartofhismissionconsistedofanotefromMrsBaxtertoMrsGrantly,beginning’HonouredMadam,’andinformingMrsGrantly,amongotherthings,thather’respectedpapa’,asMrsBaxtercalledhim,wasnotquitesowellasusual;notthatMrsBaxterthoughtthattherewasmuchthematter。MrHardinghadbeentothecathedralservice,aswasusualwithhim,buthadcomehomeleaningonalady’sarm,whohadthoughtitwelltostaywithhimatthedoortillithadbeenopenedforhim。Afterthat’MissPosy’hadfoundhimasleep,andhadbeenunable——orifnotunable,unwilling,towakehim。
  ’MissPosy’hadcomedowntoMrsBaxtersomewhatinafright,andhencethisletterhadbeenwritten。MrsBaxterthoughtthattherewasnothing’tofright’MrsGrantly,andshewasn’tsurethatsheshouldhavewrittenatallonlythatDickwasboundtogoovertoPlumsteadwiththewool;butasDickwasgoing,MrsBaxterthoughtitpropertosendherduty,andtosaythattoherhumblewayofthinkingperhapsitmightbebestthatMrHardingshouldn’tgoalonetothecathedralinthemorning。
  ’Ifthedearreverendgentlemanwastogetatumble,ma’am,’saidtheletter,’itwouldbeawkward。’ThenMrsGrantlyrememberedthatshehadleftherfatheralmostwithoutagreetinginthepreviousday,andsheresolvedthatshewouldgooververyearlyonthefollowingmorning——soearlythatshewouldbeatthedeanerybeforeherfathershouldhavegonetothecathedral。
  ’Heoughttohavecomeoverhere。Andnotstayedtherebyhimself,’
  saidthearchdeacon,whenhiswifetoldhimofherintention。
  ’Itistoolatetothinkofthatnow,mydear;andonecanunderstand,I
  think,thatheshouldnotlikeleavingthecathedralaslongashecanattendit。ThetruthisthathedoesnotlikebeingoutofBarchester。’
  ’Hewouldbemuchbetterhere,’saidthearchdeacon。’Ofcourseyoucanhavethecarriageandgoover。Wecanbreakfastateight;andifyoucanbringhimbackwithyou,do。Ishouldtellhimthatheoughttocome。’
  MrsGrantlymadenoanswertothis,knowingverywellthatshecouldnotbringherselftogobeyondthegentlestpersuasionwithherfather,andonthenextmorningshewasatthedeanerybyteno’clock。Half—pasttenwasthehouratwhichtheservicebegan。MrsBaxtercontrivedtomeetherbeforeshesawherfather,andbeggedhernottoletitbeknownthatanyspecialtidingsofMrHarding’sfailingstrengthhadbeensentfromthedeanerytoPlumstead。’Andhowismyfather?’askedMrsGrantly。’Well,then,ma’am,’saidBaxter,’inonesensehe’sfinely。Hetookamorselofearlylambtohisdinneryesterday,andrelishediteversowell——onlyhegaveMissPosythebestpartofit。AndthenhesatwithMissPosyquitehappyforanhourorso。Andthenhesleptinhischair;andyouknow,ma’am,weneverwakehim。AndafterthatoldSkulpittoddledupfromthehospital’——thiswasHiram’sHospitalofwhichestablishment,inthecityofBarchester,MrHardinghadoncebeenthewardenandkindmaster,ashasbeentoldinformerchroniclesofthecity——’andyourpapahassaid,ma’am,youknow,thatheisalwaystoseeanyoftheoldmenwhentheycomeup。AndSkulpitissly,andnobetterthanheshouldbe,andgotmoneyfromyourfather,ma’am,Iknow。Andthenhehadjustadropoftea,andafterthatItookhimaglassofportwinewithmyownhands。Andittouchedme,ma’am,soitdid,whenhesaid,"Oh,MrsBaxter,howgoodyouare;youknowwellwhatIlike。"
  Andthenhewenttobed。Ilistenedhard——notfromidlecuriosity,ma’am,asyou,whoknowme,willbelieve,butjustbecauseit’sbecomingtoknowwhathe’sabout,astheremightbeanaccident,youknow,ma’am。’’Youareverygood,MrsBaxter,verygood。’’Thankye,ma’am,forsayingso。AndsoIlistenedhard;buthedidn’tgotohismusic,poorgentleman;andIthinkhehadaquietnight。Hedoesn’tsleepmuchatnights,poorgentleman,buthe’sveryquiet;leastwisehewaslastnight。’ThiswasthebulletinwhichMrsBaxtergaveMrsGrantlyonthatmorningbeforeMrsGrantlysawherfather。
  Shefoundhimpreparinghimselfforhisvisittothecathedral。Someyearortwo——butnomore——beforethedateofwhichwearespeaking,hehadstilltakensomesmallpartintheservice;andwhilehehaddonesohehadofcoursewornhissurplice。Livingsoclosetothecathedral——soclosethathecouldalmostwalkoutofthehouseintothetransept——hehadkepthissurpliceinhisownroom,andhadgonedowninhisvestment。Ithadbeenabitterdaytohimwhenhehadfirstfoundhimselfconstrainedtoabandonthewhitegarmentwhichheloved。Hehadencounteredsomefailureintheperformanceoftheslightclericaltaskallottedtohim,andthedeanhadtenderlyadvisedhimtodesist。Hedidnotutteronewordofremonstrance。’Itwillperhapsbebetter,’thedeanhadsaid。’Yes——itwillbebetter,’MrHardinghadreplied。’FewhavehadaccordedtothemthehighprivilegeofservingtheirMasterinHishouseforsomanyyears——thoughfewmorehumbly,orwithlowergifts。’Butonthefollowingmorning,andfornearlyaweekafterwards,hehadbeenunabletofacetheminorcanonandthevergers,andtheoldwomenwhoknewhimsowell,inhisordinaryblackgarments。Atlasthewentdownwiththedean,andoccupiedastallclosetothedean’sseat——farawayfromthatwhichhehadsatforsomanyyears——andinthisseathehadsaidhisprayerseversincethatday。Andnowhissurpliceswerewashedandironedandfoldedandputaway;butthereweremomentsinwhichhewouldstealthilyvisitthem,ashealsostealthilyvisitedhisfriendintheblackwoodencase。Thiswasverymelancholy,andthesadnessofitwasfeltbyallthosewholivedwithhim;butheneveralludedhimselftoanyofthosebereavementswhichagehadbroughthim。
  Whatevermightbehisregrets,hekeptthemeverwithinhisownbreast。
  PosywaswithhimwhenMrsGrantlywentupintohisroom,holdingforhimhishatandstickwhilehewasengagedinbrushingasuspicionofdustfromhisblackgaiters。’Grandpapa,hereisauntSusan,’saidPosy。
  Theoldmanlookedupwithsomething——withsomeslightestsignofthathabitualfearwhichwasalwaysarousedwithinhisbosombyvisitationsfromPlumstead。HadMrsArabinthoroughlyunderstoodthedifferenceinherfather’sfeelingtowardherselfandtowardhersister,Ithinkshewouldhardlyhavegoneforthuponanytourwhileheremainedwithherinthedeanery。Itisveryhardsometimestoknowhowintenselyweareloved,andofwhatvalueourpresenceistothosewholoveus!MrsGrantlysawthelook——didnotanalyseit,didnotquiteunderstandit——butfelt,asshehadoftenfeltbefore,thatitwasnotaltogetherladenwithwelcome。Butallthishadnothingtodowiththedutyonwhichshehadcome;nordidit,intheslightestdegree,militateagainstherownaffection。’Papa,’shesaid,kissinghim,’youaresurprisedtoseemesoearly?’
  ’Well,mydear,yes;——butverygladallthesame。IhopeeverybodyiswellatPlumstead?’
  ’Everybody,thankyou,papa。’
  ’Thatiswell。PosyandIaregettingreadyforchurch。Arewenot,Posy?’
  ’Grandpapaisgettingready。MrsBaxterwon’tletmego。’
  ’No,mydear,no——notyet,Posy。WhenPosyisagreatgirlshecangotothecathedraleveryday。Onlythen,perhaps,Posywon’twanttogo。’
  ’Ithoughtthat,perhaps,papa,youwouldsitwithmealittlewhilethismorning,insteadofgoingtomorningprayers。’
  ’Certainly,mydear——certainly。OnlyIdonotlikenotgoing;——forwhocansayhowoftenImaybeabletogoagain?Thereissolittletimeleft,Susan——soverylittleleft。’
  Afterthatshedidnothavethehearttoaskhimtostay,andthereforeshewentwithhim。Astheypasseddownthestairsandoutofthedoorsshewasastonishedtofindhowweakwerehisfootsteps——howpowerlesshewasagainsttheslightestmisadventure。Onthisverydayhewouldhavetrippedattheupwardstepatthecathedraldoorhadshenotbeenwithhim。’Oh,papa,’shesaid’indeed,indeed,youshouldnotcomeherealone。’Thenheapologisedforhislittlestumblewithmanywordsandmuchshame,assuringherthatanybodymighttriponanoccasion。Itwaspurelyanaccident;andthoughitwasacomforttohavehadherarm,hewassurethathewouldhaverecoveredhimselfevenhadhebeenalone。Healways,hesaid,keptquiteclosetothewall,sothattheremightbenomistake——nopossibilityofanaccident。Allthishesaidvolubly,butwithconfusedwords,inthecoveredstonepassageleadingintothetransept。And,ashethusspoke,MrsGrantlymadeuphermindthatherfathershouldneveragaingotothecathedralalone。Heneverdidgoagaintothecathedral——alone。