butintellingherhewouldkeeptohimselfwhathehadsaidastotheresultofanacquittalinacivilcourt。Sheneednotyetbetoldthathehadpromisedtotakesuchaverdictassufficingalsoforanecclesiasticalacquittal。Inthisspirithisletterwaswrittenandsentoffbeforeheagainsawhiswife。
Hedidnotmeethertilltheycametogetherinthedrawing—roombeforedinner。Inexplainingthewholetruthastocircumstancesastheyexistedatthepalaceatthemoment，itmustbeacknowledgedthatMrsProudieherself，greataswashercourage，andwideasweretheresourceswhichshepossessedwithinherself，wassomewhatappalledbythepositionofaffairs。IfearthatitmaynowbetoolateformetoexcitemuchsympathyinthemindofanyreaderonbehalfofMrsProudie。
Ishallneverbeabletomakeherpopular。Butshehadvirtues，andtheirexistencenowmadeherunhappy。Shedidregardthedignityofherhusband，andshefeltatthepresentmomentthatshehadalmostcompromisedit。Shedidalsoregardthewelfareoftheclergymenaroundher，thinkingofcourseinageneralwaythatcertainofthemwhoagreedwithherweretheclergymenwhosewelfareshouldbestudied，andthatcertainofthemwhodisagreedwithherweretheclergymenwhosewelfareshouldbepostponed。Butnowanideamadeitswayintoherbosomthatshewasnotperhapsdoingthebestforthewelfareofthediocesegenerally。Whatifitshouldcometopassthatalltheclergymenofthedioceseshouldrefusetoopentheirmouthsinherpresenceonecclesiasticalsubjects，asDrTempesthaddone？Thisspecialdaywasnotoneonwhichshewaswellcontentedwithherself，thoughbynomeansonthataccountwasherangermitigatedagainsttheoffendingruraldean。
Duringdinnershestruggledtosayawordortwotoherhusband，asthoughtherehadbeennoquarrelbetweenthem。Withhimthematterhadgonesodeepthathecouldnotanswerherinthesamespirit。Thereweresundrymembersofthefamilypresent——daughters，andason—in—law，andadaughter’sfriendwhowasstayingwiththem；buteveninthehopeofappearingtobeserenebeforethemhecouldnotstrugglethroughhisdeepdespondence。Hewasverysilent，andtohiswife’swordsheansweredhardlyanything。Hewascourteousandgentlewiththemall，buthespokeaslittleaswaspossible，andduringtheeveninghesatalone，withhisheadleaningonhishand——notpretendingeventoread。Hewasawarethatitwastoolatetomakeevenanattempttoconcealhismiseryandhisdisgracefromhisownfamily。
Hiswifecametohimthatnightinhisdressing—roominaspiritoffemininesoftnessthatwasveryunusualwithher。’Mydear，’saidshe，’letusforgetwhatoccurredthismorning。Iftherehasbeenanger，weareboundasChristianstoforgetit。’Shestoodoverhimasshespoke，andputherhanduponhisshoulderalmostcaressingly。
’Whenaman’sheartisbroken，hecannotforgetit，’washisreply。Shestillstoodbyhim，andstillkeptherhanduponhim：butshecouldthinkofnootherwordsofcomforttosay。’Iwillgotobed，’hesaid。
’Itisthebestplaceforme。’Thenshelefthim，andhewenttobed。
CHAPTERXLVIII
THESOFTNESSOFSIRRAFFLEBUFFLE
WehaveseenthatJohnEameswaspreparedtostartonhisjourneyinsearchoftheArabins，andhaveseenhimafterhehadtakenfarewellofhisofficeandofhismasterthere，previoustohisdeparture；butthatmatterofhisdeparturehadnotbeenarrangedaltogetherwithcomfortasfarashisofficialinterestswereconcerned。HehadbeenperhapsalittleabruptinhismodeofinformingSirRaffleBuffle，thattherewasapressingcauseforhisofficialabsence，andSirRafflehadrepliedtohimthatnoprivatepressurecouldbeallowedtointerferewithhispublicduties。’Imustgo，SirRaffle，atanyrate，’Johnnyhadsaid；
’itisamatteraffectingmyfamilyandmustnotbeneglected。’’Ifyouintendtogowithoutleave，’saidSirRaffle，’IpresumeyouwillfirstputyourresignationintothehandsofMrKissing。’NowMrKissingwasthesecretarytotheBoard。Thishadbeenseriousundoubtedly。JohnEameswasnotspeciallyanxioustokeephispresentpositionasprivatesecretarytoSirRaffle，buthecertainlyhadnodesiretogiveuphisprofessionaltogether。Hesaidnothingmoretothegreatmanonthatoccasion，butbeforehelefttheofficehewroteaprivatenotetothechairmanexpressingtheextremeimportanceofthebusiness，andbeggingthathemightbegivenleaveofabsence。Onthenextmorninghereceiveditbackwithaveryfewwordswrittenacrossit。’Itcan’tbedone，’
werethefewwordswhichSirRaffleBufflehadwrittenacrossthenotefromhisprivatesecretary。HerewasadifficultywhichJohnnyhadnotanticipated，andwhichseemedtobeinsuperable。SirRafflewouldnothaveansweredhiminthatstrainifhehadnotbeenverymuchinearnest。
’Ishouldsendhimamedicalcertificate，’saidCordell，hisfriendofold。
’Nonsense，’saidEames。
’Idon’tseethatitisnonsenseatall。Theycan’tgetoveramedicalcertificatefromarespectableman；andeverybodyhasgotsomethingthematterwithhimofsomekind。’
’Ishouldgoandlethimdohisworst，’saidFisher，whowasanotherclerk。’Itwouldn’tbemorethanputtingyoudownaplaceortwo。Astolosingyourpresentberthyoudon’tmindthat，andtheywouldneverthinkofdismissingyou。’
’ButIdomindbeingputdownaplaceortwo，’saidJohnny，whocouldnotforgetthatwerehesoputdownhisfriendFisherwouldgainthestepwhichhewouldlose。
’Ishouldgivehimabarrelofoysters，andtalktohimabouttheChancelloroftheExchequer，’saidFitHoward，whohadbeenprivatesecretarybeforeEames，andmightthereforebesupposedtoknowtheman。
’ThatmighthavedoneverywellifIhadnotaskedhim，andbeenrefusedfirst，’saidJohnEames。’I’lltellwhatI’lldo。I’llwritealongletteronasheetoffoolscappaper，witharegularmargin，sothatitmustcomebeforetheBoard，andperhapsthatwillfrightenhim。’
WhenhementionedhisdifficultyonthateveningtoMrToogood，thelawyerbeggedhimtogiveuphisjourney。’Itwillonlybesendingaclerk，anditwon’tcostsoverymuchafterall，’saidToogood。ButJohnny’spridecouldnotallowhimtogiveway。’I’mnotgoingtobedoneaboutit，’saidhe。’I’mnotgoingtoresign，butIwillgoeventhoughhemaydismissme。Idon’tthinkitwillcometothat，butifitdoesitmust。’Hisunclebeggedhimnottothinkofsuchanalternative；
butthisdiscussiontookplaceafterdinner，andawayfromtheoffice，andEameswouldnotsubmittobowhisnecktoauthority。’Ifitcomestothat，’saidhe，’afellowmightaswellbeaslaveatonce。Andwhatistheuseofafellowhavingalittlemoneyifitdoesnotmakehimindependent？Youmaybesureofonething，Ishallgo；’andthatonthedayfixed。
OnthenextmorningJohnEameswasverysilentwhenhewentintoSirRaffle’sroomattheoffice。Therewasnowonlythisdayandanotherbeforethatfixedforhisdeparture，anditwasofcourseverynecessarythatmattersshouldbearranged。ButhesaidnothingtoSirRaffleduringthemorning。Thegreatmanhimselfwascondescendingandendeavouringtobekind。Heknewthathissternrefusalhadgreatlyirritatedhisprivatesecretary，andwasanxioustoshowthat，thoughinthecauseofpublicdutyhewasobligedtobestern，hewasquitewillingtoforgethissternnesswhenthenecessityforithadpassedaway。Onthismorning，therefore，hewasverycheery。Butintheafternoon，whenmostofthemenhadlefttheoffice，Johnnyappearedbeforethechairmanforthelasttimethatdaywithaverylongface。Hewasdressedinblack，andhadchangedhisordinarymorningcoatforafrock，whichgavehimanappearancealtogetherunlikethatwhichwascustomarytohim。Andhespokealmostinawhisper，veryslowly；andwhenSirRafflejoked——andSirRaffleoftenwouldjoke——henotonlydidnotlaugh，butheabsolutelysighed。’Isthereanythingthematterwithyou，Eames？’askedSirRaffle。
’Iamingreattrouble，’saidJohnEames。
’Andwhatisyourtrouble？’
’ItisessentialforthehonourofoneofmyfamilythatIshouldbeatFlo...完整阅读请扫描二维码下载丁香书院APP免费看：