’Perhapshethinksheisofferingaremedyforyourmisery。’
Asthiswassaid，Lilyturnedroundslowlyandlookedupintohermother’sface。’Mamma，’shesaid，’thatisverycruel。Ididnotthinkyoucouldbesocruel。Howcanyou，whobelievehimtobesoselfish，thinkthat？’
’Itisveryhardtojudgeofmen’smotives。Ihaveneversupposedhimtobesoblackthathewouldnotwishtomakeatonementfortheevilhehasdone。’
’IfIthoughtthattherecertainlycouldbenoanswer。’
’Whocanlookintoaman’sheartandjudgeallthesourcesofhisactions？Therearemixedfeelingsthere，nodoubt。Remorseforwhathehasdone；regretforwhathehaslost；——something，perhaps，ofthepurityoflove。’
’Yes，something——Ihopesomething——forhissake。’
’Butwhenahorsekicksandbites，youknowhisnatureanddonotgonearhim。Whenamanhascheatedyouonce，youthinkhewillcheatyouagain，andyoudonotdealwithhim。Youdonotlooktogathergrapesfromthistles，afteryouhavefoundthattheyarethistles。’
’IstillgofortherosesthoughIhaveoftentornmyhandwiththornsinlookingforthem。’
’Butyoudonotpluckthosethathavebecomecankeredintheblowing。’
’Becausehewasonceatfault，willhebecankeredalways？’
’Iwouldnottrusthim。’
’Now，mamma，seehowdifferentweare；or，rather，howdifferentitiswhenonejudgesforoneselforanother。Ifitweresimplymyself，andmyownfuturefateinlife，Iwouldtrusthimwithitalltomorrow，withoutaword。Ishouldgotohimasagamblergoestothegaming—table，knowingthatIloseeverything，IcouldhardlybepoorerthanIwasbefore。ButIshouldhaveabetterhopethanthegamblerisjustifiedinhaving。That，however，isnotmydifficulty。AndwhenIthinkofhimI
canseeaprospectforsuccessforthegambler。Ithinksowellofmyselfthat，lovinghim，asIdo；——yes，mamma，donotbeuneasy；——lovinghimasIdo，IbelieveIcouldbeacomforttohim。Ithinkthathemightbebetterwithmethanwithoutme。Thatis，hewouldbeso，ifhecouldteachhimselftolookbackuponthepastasIcando，andtojudgeofmeasIcanjudgeofhim。’
’Hehasnothing，atleast，forwhichtocondemnyou。’
’Buthewouldhave，wereItomarryhimnow。HewouldcondemnmebecauseIhadforgivenhim。HewouldcondemnmebecauseIhadbornewhathehaddonetome，andhadstilllovedhim——lovedhimthroughitall。Hewouldfeelandknowtheweakness——andthereisweakness。Ihavebeenweakinnotbeingabletoridmyselfofhimaltogether。Hewouldrecognisethisafterawhile，andwoulddespisemeforit。Buthewouldnotseewhatthereisofdevotiontohiminmybeingabletobearthetauntsoftheworldingoingbacktohim，andtoyourtaunts，andmyowntaunts。Ishouldhavetobearhisalso——notspokenaloud，buttobeseeninhisfaceandheardinhisvoice——andthatIcouldnotendure。Ifhedespisedme，andhewould，thatwouldmakeusbothunhappy。Therefore，mamma，tellhimnottocome；tellhimthathecannevercome；but，ifitbepossible，tellhimtenderly。’Thenshegotupandwalkedaway，asthoughsheweregoingoutoftheroom，buthermotherhadcaughtherbeforethedoorwasopened。
’Lily，’shesaid，’ifyouthinkyoucanbehappywithhim，heshallcome。’
’No，mamma，no。IhavebeenlookingforthelighteversinceIreadhisletter，andIthinkIseeit。Andnow，mamma，Iwillmakeacleanbreastofit。FromthemomentinwhichIheardthatthatpoorwomanwasdead，I
havebeeninastateofflutter。Ithasbeenweakofme，andsilly，andcontemptible。ButIcouldnothelpit。Ikeptonaskingmyselfwhetherhewouldeverthinkofmenow。Well；hehasansweredthequestion；andhassodoneitthathehasforceduponmethenecessityofaresolution。
Ihaveresolved，andIbelievethatIshallbethebetterforit。’
TheletterwhichMrsDalewrotetoMrCrosbiewasasfollows：—
’MrsDalepresentshercomplimentstoMrCrosbie，andbegstoassurehimthatitwillnotnowbepossiblethatheshouldrenewtherelationswhichwerebrokenoffthreeyearsago，betweenhimandMrsDale’sfamily。’Itwasveryshort，certainly，anditdidnotbyanymeanssatisfyMrsDale。Butshedidnotknowhowtosaymorewithoutsayingtoomuch。Theobjectofherletterwastosavehimthetroubleofafutileperseverance，andthemfromtheannoyanceofpersecution；andthisshewishedtodowithoutmentioningherdaughter’sname。Andshewasdeterminedthatnowordshouldescapeherinwhichtherewasanytouchofseverity，anyhintofanaccusation。SomuchsheowedtoLilyinreturnforallthatLilywaspreparedtoabandon。’Thereismynote，’
shesaidatlast，offeringittoherdaughter。’Ididnotmeantoseeit，’saidLily，’and，mamma，Iwillnotreaditnow。Letitgo。Iknowyouhavebeengoodandhavenotscoldedhim。’’Ihavenotscoldedhim，certainly，’saidMrsDale。Andthentheletterwassent。
CHAPTERXXIV
MRSDOBBSBROUGHTON’SDINNER—PARTY
MrJohnEamesoftheIncome—TaxOffice，hadinthreedaysrisensohighinthatworldthatpeopleinthewest—endoftown，andveryrespectablepeopletoo——peoplelivinginSouthKensington，inneighbourhoodsnotfarfromBelgravia，andinveryhandsomehousesroundBayswater——weregladtoaskhimouttodinner。Moneyhadbeenlefttohimbyanearl，andrumourhadofcoursemagnifiedthatmoney。Hewasaprivatesecretary，whichisinitselfagreatadvanceonbeingamereclerk。Andhehadbecometheparticularintimatefriendofanartistwhohadpushedhimselfintohighfashionduringthelastyearortwo——oneConwayDalrymple，whomtherichEnglishworldwasbeginningtopetandpeltwithgiltsugar—plums，andwhoseemedtotakeverykindlytopettingandgiltsugar—plums。Idon’tknowwhetherthefriendshipofConwayDalrymplehadnotdoneasmuchtosecureJohnEameshispositionattheBayswaterdinner—tables，ashadeithertheprivatesecretaryship，ortheearl’smoney；andyet，whentheyhadfirstknoweachother，nowonlytwoorthreeyearsago，ConwayDalrymplehadbeenthepoorermanofthetwo。
Somechancehadbroughtthemtogether，andtheyhadlivedinthesameroomfornearlytwoyears。Thisarrangementhadbeenbrokenup，andtheConwayDalrympleofthesedayshadastudioofhisown，somewherenearKensingtonPalace，wherehepaintedportraitsofyoungcountesses，andinwhichhehadevenpaintedayoungduchess。Itwasthepeculiarmeritofhispictures——soatleastsaidtheart—lovingworld——thatthoughthelikenesswasalwaysgood，thestiffnessofthemodernportraitwasneverthere。TherewasalsoeversomestorytoldinDalrymple’spicturesoverandabovethestoryoftheportraiture。Thiscountesswasdrawnasafairywithwings，thatcountessasagoddesswithahelmet。Thethingtookforatime，andConwayDalrymplewaspickinguphisgiltsugar—plumswithconsiderablerapidity。
OnacertaindayheandJohnEamesweretodineouttogetheratacertainhouseinthatBayswaterdistrict。Itwasalargemansion，ifnotmadeofstoneyetlookingverystony，withthirtywindowsatleast，allofthemwithcut—stoneframes，requiring，letmesay，atleastfourthousandayearforitsmaintenance。Anditsowner，DobbsBroughton，amanverywellknownbothintheCityandoverthegrassinNorthamptonshire，wassupposedtohaveagooddealmorethanfourthousandayear。MrsDobbsBroughton，averybeautifulwoman，whocertainlywasnotyetthirty—five，letherworstenemiessaywhattheymight，hadbeenpaintedbyConwayDalrympleasaGrace。Therewere，ofcourse，threeGracesinthepicture，buteachGracewasMrsDobbsBroughtonrepeated。WeallknowhowGracesstandsometimes；twoGraceslookingoneway，andonetheother。Inthispicture，MrsDobbsBroughtonascentreGracelookedyoufullintheface。ForthisprettytoyMrConwayDalrymplehadpickedupagiltsugar—plumtothetuneofsixhundredpounds，andhad，moreover，wontheheartofbothMrandMrsDobbsBroughton。’Uponmyword，Johnny，’Dalrymplehadsaidtohisfriend，’he’sadeucedgoodfellow，hasreallyagoodglassofclaret——whichisgettingrarerandrarereveryday——andwillmountyouforaday，wheneveryouplease，downMarketHa...完整阅读请扫描二维码下载丁香书院APP免费看：