whenthetimeofhistrialshouldbecloseathand。
Fullofsuchthoughtsasthesehewentalongalmostgaily，norfeltthefatigueoftheroadtillhehadcoveredthefirstfivemilesoutofBarchester。Itwasnearlyfouro’clock，andthethickgloomofthewintereveningwasmakingitselffelt。Andthenhebegantobefatigued。
Hehadnotasyeteatensincehehadlefthishomeinthemorning，andhenowpulledacrustoutofhispocketandleanedagainstagateashecrunchedit。Therewerestilltenmilesbeforehim，andheknewthatsuchanadditiontotheworkhehadalreadydonewouldtaskhimveryseverely。FarmerManglehadtoldhimthathewouldnotleaveFramleyMillbythattime。ButhehadsaidthathewouldnotreturntoFramleyMill，andherememberedhissuspicionthathiswifeandthefarmerbetweenthemhadcozenedhim。No；hewouldpersevereandwalk——walkthoughheshoulddropupontheroad。Hewasnownearerfiftythenfortyyearsofage，andhardshipsaswellastimehadtolduponhim。Heknewthatthelastfourmilesinthedarkwouldbeverysadwithhim。Butstillhepersevered，endeavouring，ashewent，tocherishhimselfwiththeremembranceofhistriumph。
HepassedtheturninggoingdowntoFramleywithcourage，butwhenhecametothefurtherturning，bywhichthecartwouldreturnfromFramleytotheHogglestockroad，helookedwistfullydowntheroadforfarmerMangle。ButfarmerManglewasstillattheMill，waitinginexpectationthatMrCrawleymightcometohim。Butthepoortravellerpausedherebarelyforaminute，andthenwenton，stumblingthroughthemud，strikinghisill—coveredfeetagainsttheroughstonesinthedark，sweatinginhisweakness，almosttotteringattimes，andcalculatingwhetherhisremainingstrengthwouldservetocarryhimhome。Hehadalmostforgottenthebishopandhiswifebeforeatlasthegraspedthewicketgateleadingtohisowndoor。
’Oh，mamma，hereispapa！’
’Butwhereisthecart？Ididnothearthewheels，’saidMrsCrawley。
’Oh，mamma，Ithinkpapaisill。’Thenthewifetookherdroopinghusbandbybotharmsandstrovetolookhimintheface。’Hehaswalkedalltheway，andheisill，’saidJane。
’No，mydear，Iamverytired，butnotill。Letmesitdown，andgivemesomebreadandtea，andIshallrecovermyself。’ThenMrsCrawley，fromsomesecrethoard，gothimasmallmodicumofspirits，andgavehimmeatandtea，andhewasdocile；and，obeyingherbehests，allowedhimselftobetakentohisbed。
’Idonotthinkthebishopwillsendformeagain，’hesaid，asshetuckedtheclothesaroundhim。
CHAPTERXIX
WHEREDIDITCOMEFROM？
WhenChristmasmorningcamenoemissaryfromthebishopappearedatHogglestocktointerferewiththeordinaryperformanceoftheday’sservices。’Ithinkweneedfearnofurtherdisturbance，’MrCrawleysaidtohiswife——andtherewasnofurtherdisturbance。
OnthedayafterhiswalkfromFramleytoBarchester，andfromBarchesterbacktoHogglestock，MrCrawleyhadrisennotmuchtheworseforhislabour，andhadgraduallygiventohiswifeafullaccountofwhathadtakenplace。’Apoorweakman，’hesaid，speakingofthebishop。’Apoorweakcreature，andmuchtobepitied。’
’Ihavealwaysheardthatsheisaviolentwoman。’
’Veryviolent，andveryignorant；andmostintrusivewithal。’
’Andyoudidnotanswerheraword？’
’Atlastmyforbearancewithherbrokedown，andIbadehermindherdistaff。’
’What；——really？Didyousaythosewordstoher？’
’Nay；asfortheexactwordsIcannotrememberthem。IwasthinkingmoreofthewordwhichitmightbefittingthatIshouldanswerthebishop。ButIcertainlytoldherthatshehadbettermindherdistaff。’
’Andhowdidshebehavethen？’
’Ididnotwaittosee。Thebishophadspoken，andIhadreplied；andwhyshouldItarrytobeholdthewoman’sviolence？Ihadtoldhimthathewaswronginlaw，andthatIatleastwouldnotsubmittousurpedauthority。Therewasnothingtokeepmelonger，andsoIwentwithoutmuchceremonyofleave—taking。Therehadbeenlittleceremonyofgreetingontheirpart，andtherewaslessinthemakingofadieuxonmine。TheyhadtoldmethatIwasathief——’
’No，Josiah——surelynotso？Theydidnotusethatveryword？’
’Isaytheydid；——theydidusethatveryword。Butstop。Iamwrong。
Iwronghislordship，andIcravepardonforhavingdoneso。Ifmymemoryserveme，noexpressionsoharshescapedfromthebishop’smouth。
Hegaveme，indeed，tounderstandmorethanoncethattheactiontakenbythemagistrateswastantamounttoaconviction，andthatImustbeguiltybecausetheyhaddecidedthattherewasevidencesufficienttojustifyatrial。Butallthatarosefrommylord’signoranceoftheadministrationofthelawsofhiscountry。Hewasveryignorant——puzzle—pated，asyoumaycallit——ledbythenosebyhiswife，weakaswater，timidandvacillating。Buthedidnotwish，Ithink，tobeinsolent。ItwasMrsProudiewhotoldmetomyfacethatIwasa——thief。’
’Mayshebepunishedforthecruelword！’saidMrsCrawley。’Maytheremembrancethatshehasspokenitcome，someday，heavilyuponherheart。’
’"Vengeanceismine。Iwillrepay，"saiththeLord，’answeredMrCrawley。’Wemaysafelyleaveallthatalone，andridourmindsofsuchwishes，ifitbepossible。Itiswell，Ithink，thatviolentoffences，whencommitted，shouldbemetbyinstantrebuke。Toturntheothercheekinstantlytothesmitercanhardlybesuitableinthesedays，whenthehandsofsomanyareraisedtostrike。Butthereturnblowshouldbegivenonlywhilethesmartremains。Shehurtmethen；butwhatistomenow，thatshecalledmeathieftomyface？DoInotknowthat，allthecountryround，menandwomanarecallingmethesamebehindmyback？’
’No，Josiah，youdonotknowthat。Theysaythethingisverystrange——sostrangethatitrequiresatrial；butnoonethinksyouhavetakenthatwhichwasnotyourown。’
’IthinkIdid。ImyselfthinkItookthatwhichwasnotmyown。Mypoorheadsuffersso；——somanygrievousthoughtsdistractme，thatIamlikeachild，andknownotwhatIdo。’Ashespokethusheputbothhandsuptohishead，leaningforwardasthoughinanxiousthought——asthoughhewerestrivingtobringhismindtobearwithaccuracyonpastevents。’Itcouldnothavebeenmine，andyet——’Thenhesatsilent，andmadenoefforttocontinuehisspeech。
’Andyet？’——saidhiswife，encouraginghimtoproceed。Ifshecouldonlylearntherealtruth，shethoughtthatshemightperhapsyetsavehim，withassistancefromtheirfriends。
’WhenIsaidthatIhadgottenitfromthatmanImusthavebeenmad。’
’Fromwhichman，love？’
’FromthemanSoames——hewhoaccusesme。Andyet，astheLordhearsme，Ithoughtsothen。Thetruthis，thattherearetimeswhenIamnot——sane。Iamnotathief——notbeforeGod；butIam——madattimes。’
Theselastwordswerespokenveryslowly，inawhisper——withoutanyexcitement——indeedwithacomposurewhichwashorribletowitness。Andwhathesaidwasthemoreterriblebecauseshewassowellconvincedofthetruthofhiswords。Ofcoursehewasnothief。Shewantednoonetotellherthat。Ashehimselfhadexpressedit，hewasnothiefbeforeGod，howeverthemoneymighthavecomeintohispossession。Thatthereweretimeswhenhisreason，oncesofineandclear，couldnotact，couldnotbetrustedtoguidehimright，asshehadgraduallycometoknowwithfearandtrembling。Buthehimselfhadneverbeforehintedhisownconsciousnessofthiscalamity。Indeedhehadbeensounwillingtospeakofhimselfandhisownstate，thatshehadbeenunableeventoaskhimaquestionaboutthemoney——lestheshouldsuspectthatshesuspectedhim。
Nowhewasspeaking——butspeakingwithsuchheartrendingsadnessthatshecouldhardlyurgehimtogoon。
...完整阅读请扫描二维码下载丁香书院APP免费看：