PROLOGUE
　　Yearsago，whenIwasverysmall，welivedinagreathouseinalong，straight，brown—colouredstreet，intheeastendofLondon。
　　Itwasanoisy，crowdedstreetinthedaytime；butasilent，lonesomestreetatnight，whenthegas—lights，fewandfarbetween，partookofthecharacteroflighthousesratherthanofilluminants，andthetramp，trampofthepolicemanonhislongbeatseemedtobeeverdrawingnearer，orfadingaway，exceptforbriefmomentswhenthefootstepsceased，ashepausedtorattleadoororwindow，ortoflashhislanternintosomedarkpassageleadingdowntowardstheriver。
　　Thehousehadmanyadvantages，somyfatherwouldexplaintofriendswhoexpressedsurpriseathischoosingsucharesidence，andamongthesewasincludedinmyownsmallmorbidmindthecircumstancethatitsbackwindowscommandedanuninterruptedviewofanancientandmuch—peopledchurchyard。OftenofanightwouldIstealfrombetweenthesheets，andclimbinguponthehighoakchestthatstoodbeforemybedroomwindow，sitpeeringdownfearfullyupontheagedgraytombstonesfarbelow，wonderingwhethertheshadowsthatcreptamongthemmightnotbeghosts——soiledghoststhathadlosttheirnaturalwhitenessbylongexposuretothecity’ssmoke，andhadgrowndingy，likethesnowthatsometimeslaythere。
　　Ipersuadedmyselfthattheywereghosts，andcame，atlength，tohavequiteafriendlyfeelingforthem。Iwonderedwhattheythoughtwhentheysawthefadinglettersoftheirownnamesuponthestones，whethertheyrememberedthemselvesandwishedtheywerealiveagain，orwhethertheywerehappierastheywere。Butthatseemedastillsadderidea。
　　Onenight，asIsattherewatching，Ifeltahanduponmyshoulder。
　　Iwasnotfrightened，becauseitwasasoft，gentlehandthatIwellknew，soImerelylaidmycheekagainstit。
　　"What’smumma’snaughtyboydoingoutofbed？ShallIbeathim？"
　　Andtheotherhandwaslaidagainstmyothercheek，andIcouldfeelthesoftcurlsminglingwithmyown。
　　"Onlylookingattheghosts，ma，"Ianswered。"There’ssuchalotof’emdownthere。"ThenIadded，musingly，"Iwonderwhatitfeelsliketobeaghost。"
　　Mymothersaidnothing，buttookmeupinherarms，andcarriedmebacktobed，andthen，sittingdownbesideme，andholdingmyhandinhers——therewasnotsoverymuchdifferenceinthesize——begantosinginthatlow，caressingvoiceofhersthatalwaysmademefeel，forthetimebeing，thatIwantedtobeagoodboy，asongsheoftenusedtosingtome，andthatIhaveneverheardanyoneelsesingsince，andshouldnotcareto。
　　Butwhileshesang，somethingfellonmyhandthatcausedmetositupandinsistonexamininghereyes。Shelaughed；ratherastrange，brokenlittlelaugh，Ithought，andsaiditwasnothing，andtoldmetoliestillandgotosleep。SoIwriggleddownagainandshutmyeyestight，butIcouldnotunderstandwhathadmadehercry。
　　Poorlittlemother，shehadanotion，foundedevidentlyuponinbornbeliefratherthanuponobservation，thatallchildrenwereangels，andthat，inconsequence，analtogetherexceptionaldemandexistedfortheminacertainotherplace，wheretherearemoreopeningsforangels，renderingtheirretentioninthisworlddifficultandundependable。Mytalkaboutghostsmusthavemadethatfoolishlyfondheartachewithavaguedreadthatnight，andformanyanightonward，Ifear。
　　ForsometimeafterthisIwouldoftenlookuptofindmymother’seyesfixeduponme。Especiallycloselydidshewatchmeatfeedingtimes，andontheseoccasions，asthemealprogressed，herfacewouldacquireanexpressionofsatisfactionandrelief。
　　Once，duringdinner，Iheardherwhispertomyfather（forchildrenarenotquitesodeafastheireldersthink），"Heseemstoeatallright。"
　　"Eat！"repliedmyfatherinthesamepenetratingundertone；"ifhediesofanything，itwillbeofeating。"
　　Somylittlemothergrewlesstroubled，and，asthedayswentby，sawreasontothinkthatmybrotherangelsmightconsenttodowithoutmeforyetawhilelonger；andI，puttingawaythechildwithhisghostlyfancies，became，incourseoftime，agrown—upperson，andceasedtobelieveinghosts，togetherwithmanyotherthingsthat，perhaps，itwerebetterforamanifhedidbelievein。
　　Butthememoryofthatdingygraveyard，andoftheshadowsthatdwelttherein，camebacktomeveryvividlytheotherday，foritseemedtomeasthoughIwereaghostmyself，glidingthroughthesilentstreetswhereonceIhadpassedswiftly，fulloflife。
　　Divingintoalongunopeneddrawer，Ihad，bychance，drawnforthadustyvolumeofmanuscript，labelleduponitstornbrownpapercover，NOVELNOTES。Thescentofdeaddaysclungtoitsdogs’—earedpages；and，asitlayopenbeforeme，mymemorywanderedbacktothesummerevenings——notsoverylongago，perhaps，ifonebutaddsuptheyears，butalong，longwhileagoifonemeasuresTimebyfeeling——whenfourfriendshadsattogethermakingit，whowouldneversittogetheranymore。WitheachcrumpledleafIturned，theuncomfortableconvictionthatIwasonlyaghost，grewstronger。
　　Thehandwritingwasmyown，butthewordswerethewordsofastranger，sothatasIreadIwonderedtomyself，saying：didI
　　everthinkthis？didIreallyhopethat？didIplantodothis？didIresolvetobesuch？doeslife，then，looksototheeyesofayoungman？notknowingwhethertosmileorsigh。
　　Thebookwasacompilation，halfdiary，halfmemoranda。Initlaytherecordofmanymusings，ofmanytalks，andoutofit——selectingwhatseemedsuitable，adding，altering，andarranging——Ihaveshapedthechaptersthathereafterfollow。
　　ThatIhavearighttodosoIhavefullysatisfiedmyownconscience，anexceptionallyfussyone。Ofthefourjointauthors，hewhomIcall"MacShaughnassy"haslaidasidehistitletoallthingsbeyondsixfeetofsun—scorchedgroundintheAfricanveldt；
　　whilefromhimIhavedesignated"Brown"Ihaveborrowedbutlittle，andthatlittleImayfairlyclaimtohavemademyownbyreasonoftheartisticmeritwithwhichIhaveembellishedit。Indeed，inthustakingafewofhisbaldideasandshapingthemintoreadableform，amInotdoinghimakindness，andtherebyreturninggoodforevil？Forhashenot，slippingfromthehighambitionofhisyouth，sunkeverdownwardstepbystep，untilhehasbecomeacritic，and，therefore，mynaturalenemy？Doeshenot，inthecolumnsofacertainjournaloflargepretensionbutsmallcirculation，callme"’Arry"（withoutan"H，"thesatiricalrogue），andisnothiscontemptfortheEnglish—speakingpeoplebasedchieflyuponthefactthatsomeofthemreadmybooks？ButinthedaysofBloomsburylodgingsandfirst—nightpitswethoughteachotherclever。
　　From"Jephson"Iholdaletter，datedfromastationdeepintheheartoftheQueenslandbush。"Dowhatyoulikewithit，dearboy，"
　　theletterruns，"solongasyoukeepmeoutofit。Thanksforyourcomplimentaryregrets，butIcannotsharethem。Iwasneverfittedforaliterarycareer。Luckyforme，Ifounditoutintime。Somepoordevilsdon’t。（I’mnotgettingatyou，oldman。Wereadallyourstuff，andlikeitverymuch。Timehangsabitheavy，youknow，here，inthewinter，andwearegladofalmostanything。）
　　Thislifesuitsmebetter。Ilovetofeelmyhorsebetweenmythighs，andthesunuponmyskin。Andtherearetheyoungstersgrowingupaboutus，andthehandstolookafter，andthestock。I
　　daresayitseemsaverycommonplaceunintellectuallifetoyou，butitsatisfiesmynaturemorethanthewritingofbookscouldeverdo。
　　Besides，therearetoomanyauthorsasitis。Theworldissobusyreadingandwriting，ithasnotimeleftforthinking。You’lltellme，ofcourse，thatbooksarethought，butthatisonlythejargonofthePress。Youcomeouthere，oldman，andsitasIdosometimesfordaysandnightstogetheralonewiththedumbcattleonanupheavedislandofearth，asitwere，juttingoutintothedeepsky，andyouwillknowthattheyarenot。Whatamanthinks——reallythinks——goesdownintohimandgrowsinsilence。Whatamanwritesinbooksarethethoughtsthathewishestobethoughttothink。"
　　PoorJephson！hepromisedsowellatonetime。Buthealwayshadstrangenotions。
　　CHAPTERI
　　When，onreturninghomeoneevening，afterapipepartyatmyfriendJephson’s，IinformedmywifethatIwasgoingtowriteanovel，sheexpressedherselfaspleasedwiththeidea。ShesaidshehadoftenwonderedIhadneverthoughtofdoingsobefore。"Look，"sheadded，"howsillyallthenovelsarenowadays；I’msureyoucouldwriteone。"（Ethelberthaintendedtobecomplimentary，Iamconvinced；
　　butthereisaloosenessabouthermodeofexpressionwhich，attimes，rendershermeaningobscure。）
　　When，however，ItoldherthatmyfriendJephsonwasgoingtocollaboratewithme，sheremarked，"Oh，"inadoubtfultone；andwhenIfurtherwentontoexplaintoherthatSelkirkBrownandDerrickMacShaughnassywerealsogoingtoassist，shereplied，"Oh，"
　　inatonewhichcontainednotraceofdoubtfulnesswhatever，andfromwhichitwasclearthatherinterestinthematter，asapracticalscheme，hadentirelyevaporated。
　　Ifancythatthefactofmythreecollaboratorsbeingallbachelorsdiminishedsomewhatourchancesofsuccess，inEthelbertha’smind。
　　Againstbachelors，asaclass，sheentertainsastrongprejudice。A
　　man’snothavingsenseenoughtowanttomarry，or，havingthat，nothavingwitenoughtodoit，arguestoherthinkingeitherweaknessofintellectornaturaldepravity，theformerrenderingitsvictimunable，andthelatterunfit，evertobecomeareallyusefulnovelist。
　　Itriedtomakeherunderstandthepeculiaradvantagesourplanpossessed。
　　"Yousee，"Iexplained，"intheusualcommon—placenovelweonlyget，asamatteroffact，oneperson’sideas。Now，inthisnovel，therewillbefourclevermenallworkingtogether。Thepublicwillthusbeenabledtoobtainthethoughtsandopinionsofthewholefourofus，atthepriceusuallyaskedformerelyoneauthor’sviews。IftheBritishreaderknowshisownbusiness，hewillorderthisbookearly，toavoiddisappointment。Suchanopportunitymaynotoccuragainforyears。"
　　Ethelberthaagreedthatthiswasprobable。
　　"Besides，"Icontinued，myenthusiasmwaxingstrongerthemoreI
　　reflecteduponthematter，"thisworkisgoingtobeagenuinebargaininanotherwayalso。Wearenotgoingtoputourmereeverydayideasintoit。Wearegoingtocrowdintothisonenovelallthewitandwisdomthatthewholefourofuspossess，ifthebookwillholdit。Weshallnotwriteanothernovelafterthisone。
　　Indeed，weshallnotbeableto；weshallhavenothingmoretowrite。Thisworkwillpartakeofthenatureofanintellectualclearancesale。Wearegoingtoputintothisnovelsimplyallweknow。"
　　Ethelberthashutherlips，andsaidsomethinginside；andthenremarkedaloudthatshesupposeditwouldbeaonevolumeaffair。
　　Ifelthurtattheimpliedsneer。Ipointedouttoherthattherealreadyexistedanumerousbodyofspecially—trainedmenemployedtodonothingelsebutmakedisagreeableobservationsuponauthorsandtheirworks——adutythat，sofarasIcouldjudge，theyseemedcapableofperformingwithoutanyamateurassistancewhatever。AndIhintedthat，byhisownfireside，aliterarymanlookedtobreatheamoresympatheticatmosphere。
　　EthelbertharepliedthatofcourseIknewwhatshemeant。Shesaidthatshewasnotthinkingofme，andthatJephsonwas，nodoubt，sensibleenough（Jephsonisengaged），butshedidnotseetheobjectofbringinghalftheparishintoit。（Nobodysuggestedbringing"halftheparish"intoit。Ethelberthawilltalksowildly。）TosupposethatBrownandMacShaughnassycouldbeofanyusewhatever，sheconsideredabsurd。Whatcouldacoupleofrawbachelorsknowaboutlifeandhumannature？AsregardedMacShaughnassyinparticular，shewasofopinionthatifweonlywantedoutofhimallthatHEknew，andcouldkeephimtothesubject，weoughttobeabletogetthatintoaboutapage。
　　Mywife’spresentestimateofMacShaughnassy’sknowledgeistheresultofreaction。Thefirsttimesheeversawhim，sheandhegotonwonderfullywelltogether；andwhenIreturnedtothedrawing—
　　room，afterseeinghimdowntothegate，herfirstwordswere，"WhatawonderfulmanthatMr。MacShaughnassyis。Heseemstoknowsomuchabouteverything。"
　　ThatdescribesMacShaughnassyexactly。Hedoesseemtoknowatremendouslot。HeispossessedofmoreinformationthananymanI
　　evercameacross。Occasionally，itiscorrectinformation；but，speakingbroadly，itisremarkableforitsmarvellousunreliability。
　　Wherehegetsitfromisasecretthatnobodyhaseveryetbeenabletofathom。
　　Ethelberthawasveryyoungwhenwestartedhousekeeping。（Ourfirstbutcherverynearlylosthercustom，Iremember，onceandforeverbycallingher"Missie，"andgivingheramessagetotakebacktohermother。Shearrivedhomeintears。Shesaidthatperhapsshewasn’tfittobeanybody’swife，butshedidnotseewhysheshouldbetoldsobythetradespeople。）Shewasnaturallysomewhatinexperiencedindomesticaffairs，and，feelingthiskeenly，wasgratefultoanyonewhowouldgiveherusefulhintsandadvice。
　　WhenMacShaughnassycamealongheseemed，inhereyes，asortofglorifiedMrs。Beeton。Hekneweverythingwantedtobeknowninsideahouse，fromthescientificmethodofpeelingapotatotothecureofspasmsincats，andEthelberthawouldsitathisfeet，figurativelyspeaking，andgainenoughinformationinoneeveningtomakethehouseunlivableinforamonth。
　　Hetoldherhowfiresoughttobelaid。Hesaidthatthewayfireswereusuallylaidinthiscountrywascontrarytoallthelawsofnature，andheshowedherhowthethingwasdoneinCrimTartary，orsomesuchplace，wherethescienceoflayingfiresisaloneproperlyunderstood。Heprovedtoherthatanimmensesavingintimeandlabour，tosaynothingofcoals，couldbeeffectedbytheadoptionoftheCrimTartarysystem；andhetaughtittoherthenandthere，andshewentstraightdownstairsandexplainedittothegirl。
　　Amenda，ourthen"general，"wasanextremelystolidyoungperson，and，insomerespects，amodelservant。Sheneverargued。Sheneverseemedtohaveanynotionsofherownwhatever。Sheacceptedourideaswithoutcomment，andcarriedthemoutwithsuchpedanticprecisionandsuchevidentabsenceofallfeelingofresponsibilityconcerningtheresultastosurroundourhomelegislationwithquiteamilitaryatmosphere。
　　OnthepresentoccasionshestoodquietlybywhiletheMacShaughnassymethodoffire—layingwasexpoundedtoher。WhenEthelberthahadfinishedshesimplysaid：—
　　"Youwantmetolaythefireslikethat？"
　　"Yes，Amenda，we’llalwayshavethefireslaidlikethatinfuture，ifyouplease。"
　　"Allright，mum，"repliedAmenda，withperfectunconcern，andtherethematterended，forthatevening。
　　Oncomingdownstairsthenextmorningwefoundthebreakfasttablespreadverynicely，buttherewasnobreakfast。Wewaited。Tenminuteswentby——aquarterofanhour——twentyminutes。ThenEthelbertharangthebell。InresponseAmendapresentedherself，calmandrespectful。
　　"Doyouknowthatthepropertimeforbreakfastishalf—pasteight，Amenda？"
　　"Yes’m。"
　　"Anddoyouknowthatit’snownearlynine？"
　　"Yes’m。"
　　"Well，isn’tbreakfastready？"
　　"No，mum。"
　　"WillitEVERbeready？"
　　"Well，mum，"repliedAmenda，inatoneofgenialfrankness，"totellyouthetruth，Idon’tthinkiteverwill。"
　　"What’sthereason？Won’tthefirelight？"
　　"Ohyes，itlightsallright。"
　　"Well，then，whycan’tyoucookthebreakfast？"
　　"Becausebeforeyoucanturnyourselfrounditgoesoutagain。"
　　Amendanevervolunteeredstatements。Sheansweredthequestionputtoherandthenstoppeddead。Icalleddownstairstoherononeoccasion，beforeIunderstoodherpeculiarities，toaskherifsheknewthetime。Shereplied，"Yes，sir，"anddisappearedintothebackkitchen。Attheendofthirtysecondsorso，Icalleddownagain。"Iaskedyou，Amenda，"Isaidreproachfully，"totellmethetimeabouttenminutesago。"
　　"Oh，didyou？"shecalledbackpleasantly。"Ibegyourpardon。I
　　thoughtyouaskedmeifIknewit——it’shalf—pastfour。"
　　Ethelberthainquired——toreturntoourfire——ifshehadtriedlightingitagain。
　　"Ohyes，mum，"answeredthegirl。"I’vetriedfourtimes。"Thensheaddedcheerfully，"I’lltryagainifyoulike，mum。"
　　Amendawasthemostwillingservantweeverpaidwagesto。
　　Ethelberthasaidshewouldstepdownandlightthefireherself，andtoldAmendatofollowherandwatchhowshedidit。Ifeltinterestedintheexperiment，andfollowedalso。Ethelberthatuckedupherfrockandsettowork。AmendaandIstoodaroundandlookedon。
　　AttheendofhalfanhourEthelbertharetiredfromthecontest，hot，dirty，andatrifleirritable。Thefireplaceretainedthesamecold，cynicalexpressionwithwhichithadgreetedourentrance。
　　ThenItried。Ihonestlytriedmybest。Iwaseagerandanxioustosucceed。Foronereason，Iwantedmybreakfast。Foranother，I
　　wantedtobeabletosaythatIhaddonethisthing。Itseemedtomethatforanyhumanbeingtolightafire，laidasthatfirewaslaid，wouldbeafeattobeproudof。Tolightafireevenunderordinarycircumstancesisnottooeasyatask：todoso，handicappedbyMacShaughnassy’srules，would，Ifelt，beanachievementpleasanttolookbackupon。Myidea，hadIsucceeded，wouldhavebeentogoroundtheneighbourhoodandbragaboutit。
　　However，Ididnotsucceed。Ilitvariousotherthings，includingthekitchencarpetandthecat，whowouldcomesniffingabout，butthematerialswithinthestoveappearedtobefire—proof。
　　EthelberthaandIsatdown，oneeachsideofourcheerlesshearth，andlookedatoneanother，andthoughtofMacShaughnassy，untilAmendachimedinonourdespairwithoneofthosepracticalsuggestionsofhersthatsheoccasionallythrewoutforustoacceptornot，aswechose。
　　"Maybe，"saidshe，"I’dbetterlightitintheoldwayjustforto—
　　day。"
　　"Do，Amenda，"saidEthelbertha，rising。Andthensheadded，"I
　　thinkwe’llalwayshavethemlightedintheoldway，Amenda，ifyouplease。"
　　Anothertimeheshowedushowtomakecoffee——accordingtotheArabianmethod。Arabiamustbeaveryuntidycountryiftheymadecoffeeoftenoverthere。Hedirtiedtwosaucepans，threejugs，onetablecloth，onenutmeg—grater，onehearthrug，threecups，andhimself。Thismadecoffeefortwo——whatwouldhavebeennecessaryinthecaseofaparty，onedaresnotthink。
　　Thatwedidnotlikethecoffeewhenmade，MacShaughnassyattributedtoourdebasedtaste——theresultoflongindulgenceinaninferiorarticle。Hedrankbothcupshimself，andafterwardswenthomeinacab。
　　Hehadanauntinthosedays，Iremember，amysteriousoldlady，wholivedinsomesecludedretreatfromwhereshewroughtincalculablemischiefuponMacShaughnassy’sfriends。Whathedidnotknow——theoneortwothingsthathewasNOTanauthorityupon——thisauntofhisknew。"No，"hewouldsaywithengagingcandour——"no，thatisathingIcannotadviseyouaboutmyself。But，"hewouldadd，"I’lltellyouwhatI’lldo。I’llwritetomyauntandaskher。"Andadayortwoafterwardshewouldcallagain，bringinghisaunt’sadvicewithhim；and，ifyouwereyoungandinexperienced，oranaturalbornfool，youmightpossiblyfollowit。
　　Shesentusarecipeononeoccasion，throughMacShaughnassy，fortheexterminationofblackbeetles。Weoccupiedaverypicturesqueoldhouse；but，aswithmostpicturesqueoldhouses，itsadvantageswerechieflyexternal。Thereweremanyholesandcracksandcreviceswithinitscreakingframework。Frogs，whohadlosttheirwayandtakenthewrongturning，wouldsuddenlydiscoverthemselvesinthemiddleofourdining—room，apparentlyquiteasmuchtotheirownsurpriseandannoyanceastoours。Anumerouscompanyofratsandmice，remarkablyfondofphysicalexercise，hadfittedtheplaceupasagymnasiumforthemselves；andourkitchen，afterteno’clock，wasturnedintoablackbeetles’club。Theycameupthroughthefloorandoutthroughthewalls，andgambolledthereintheirlight—hearted，recklesswaytilldaylight。
　　TheratsandmiceAmendadidnotobjectto。Shesaidshelikedtowatchthem。Butagainsttheblackbeetlesshewasprejudiced。
　　Therefore，whenmywifeinformedherthatMacShaughnassy’saunthadgivenusaninfalliblerecipefortheirannihilation，sherejoiced。
　　Wepurchasedthematerials，manufacturedthemixture，andputitabout。Thebeetlescameandateit。Theyseemedtolikeit。Theyfinisheditallup，andwereevidentlyvexedthattherewasnotmore。Buttheydidnotdie。
　　WetoldthesefactstoMacShaughnassy。Hesmiled，averygrimsmile，andsaidinalowtone，fullofmeaning，"Letthemeat！"
　　Itappearedthatthiswasoneofthoseslow，insidiouspoisons。Itdidnotkillthebeetleoffimmediately，butitunderminedhisconstitution。Daybydayhewouldsinkanddroopwithoutbeingabletotellwhatwasthematterwithhimself，untilonemorningweshouldenterthekitchentofindhimlyingcoldandverystill。
　　Sowemademorestuffandlaiditroundeachnight，andtheblackbeetlesfromallabouttheparishswarmedtoit。Eachnighttheycameingreaterquantities。Theyfetchedupalltheirfriendsandrelations。Strangebeetles——beetlesfromotherfamilies，withnoclaimonuswhatever——gottohearaboutthething，andcameinhordes，andtriedtorobourblackbeetlesofit。Bytheendofaweekwehadluredintoourkitcheneverybeetlethatwasn’tlameformilesround。
　　MacShaughnassysaiditwasagoodthing。Weshouldclearthesuburbatoneswoop。Thebeetleshadnowbeeneatingthispoisonsteadilyfortendays，andhesaidthattheendcouldnotbefaroff。Iwasgladtohearit，becauseIwasbeginningtofindthisunlimitedhospitalityexpensive。Itwasadearpoisonthatweweregivingthem，andtheywereheartyeaters。
　　Wewentdownstairstoseehowtheyweregettingon。MacShaughnassythoughttheyseemedqueer，andwasofopinionthattheywerebreakingup。Speakingformyself，Icanonlysaythatahealthier—
　　lookinglotofbeetlesIneverwishtosee。
　　One，itistrue，diddiethatveryevening。Hewasdetectedintheactoftryingtomakeoffwithanunfairlylargeportionofthepoison，andthreeorfouroftheotherssetuponhimsavagelyandkilledhim。
　　Buthewastheonlyone，sofarasIcouldeverdiscover，towhomMacShaughnassy’srecipeprovedfatal。Asfortheothers，theygrewfatandsleekuponit。Someofthem，indeed，begantoacquirequiteafigure。Welessenedtheirnumberseventuallybythehelpofsomecommonoil—shopstuff。Butsuchvastnumbers，attractedbyMacShaughnassy’spoison，hadsettledinthehouse，thattofinallyexterminatethemnowwashopeless。
　　IhavenotheardofMacShaughnassy’sauntlately。Possibly，oneofMacShaughnassy’sbosomfriendshasfoundoutheraddressandhasgonedownandmurderedher。Ifso，Ishouldliketothankhim。
　　ItriedalittlewhileagotocureMacShaughnassyofhisfatalpassionforadvice—giving，byrepeatingtohimaverysadstorythatwastoldtomebyagentlemanImetinanAmericanrailwaycar。I
　　wastravellingfromBuffalotoNewYork，and，duringtheday，itsuddenlyoccurredtomethatImightmakethejourneymoreinterestingbyleavingthecarsatAlbanyandcompletingthedistancebywater。ButIdidnotknowhowtheboatsran，andIhadnoguide—bookwithme。Iglancedaboutforsomeonetoquestion。A
　　mild—looking，elderlygentlemansatbythenextwindowreadingabook，thecoverofwhichwasfamiliartome。Ideemedhimtobeintelligent，andapproachedhim。
　　"Ibegyourpardonforinterruptingyou，"Isaid，sittingdownoppositetohim，"butcouldyougivemeanyinformationabouttheboatsbetweenAlbanyandNewYork？"
　　"Well，"heanswered，lookingupwithapleasantsmile，"therearethreelinesofboatsaltogether。ThereistheHeggartyline，buttheyonlygoasfarasCatskill。ThentherearethePoughkeepsieboats，whichgoeveryotherday。Orthereiswhatwecallthecanalboat。"
　　"Oh，"Isaid。"Wellnow，whichwouldyouadvisemeto——"
　　Hejumpedtohisfeetwithacry，andstoodglaringdownatmewithagleaminhiseyeswhichwaspositivelymurderous。
　　"Youvillain！"hehissedinlowtonesofconcentratedfury，"sothat’syourgame，isit？I’llgiveyousomethingthatyou’llwantadviceabout，"andhewhippedoutasix—chamberedrevolver。
　　Ifelthurt。IalsofeltthatiftheinterviewwereprolongedI
　　mightfeelevenmorehurt。SoIlefthimwithoutaword，anddriftedovertotheotherendofthecar，whereItookupapositionbetweenastoutladyandthedoor。
　　Iwasstillmusingupontheincident，when，lookingup，Iobservedmyelderlyfriendmakingtowardsme。Iroseandlaidmyhanduponthedoor—knob。Heshouldnotfindmeunprepared。Hesmiled，reassuringly，however，andheldouthishand。
　　"I’vebeenthinking，"hesaid，"thatmaybeIwasalittlerudejustnow。Ishouldlike，ifyouwillletme，toexplain。Ithink，whenyouhaveheardmystory，youwillunderstand，andforgiveme。"
　　Therewasthatabouthimwhichmademetrusthim。Wefoundaquietcornerinthesmoking—car。Ihada"whiskeysour，"andheprescribedforhimselfastrangethingofhisowninvention。Thenwelightedourcigars，andhetalked。
　　"Thirtyyearsago，"saidhe，"Iwasayoungmanwithahealthybeliefinmyself，andadesiretodogoodtoothers。Ididnotimaginemyselfagenius。Ididnotevenconsidermyselfexceptionallybrilliantortalented。Butitdidseemtome，andthemoreInotedthedoingsofmyfellow—menandwomen，themoreassureddidIbecomeofit，thatIpossessedplain，practicalcommonsensetoanunusualandremarkabledegree。Consciousofthis，Iwrotealittlebook，whichIentitledHowtobeHappy，Wealthy，andWise，andpublisheditatmyownexpense。Ididnotseekforprofit。I
　　merelywishedtobeuseful。
　　ThebookdidnotmakethestirthatIhadanticipated。Sometwoorthreehundredcopieswentoff，andthenthesalepracticallyceased。
　　IconfessthatatfirstIwasdisappointed。Butafterawhile，I
　　reflectedthat，ifpeoplewouldnottakemyadvice，itwasmoretheirlossthanmine，andIdismissedthematterfrommymind。
　　Onemorning，aboutatwelvemonthafterwards，Iwassittinginmystudy，whentheservantenteredtosaythattherewasamandownstairswhowantedverymuchtoseeme。
　　"Igaveinstructionsthatheshouldbesentup，andupaccordinglyhecame。
　　"Hewasacommonman，buthehadanopen，intelligentcountenance，andhismannerwasmostrespectful。Imotionedhimtobeseated。
　　Heselectedachair，andsatdownontheextremeedgeofit。
　　"’Ihopeyou’llpard’nthisintrusion，sir，’hebegan，speakingdeliberately，andtwirlinghishatthewhile；’butI’vecomemore’ntwohundredmilestoseeyou，sir。’
　　"Iexpressedmyselfaspleased，andhecontinued：’Theytellme，sir，asyou’rethegentlemanaswrotethatlittlebook，HowtobeHappy，Wealthy，andWise。"
　　Heenumeratedthethreeitemsslowly，dwellinglovinglyoneach。I
　　admittedthefact。
　　"’Ah，that’sawonderfulbook，sir，’hewenton。’Iain’toneofthemashasgotbrainsoftheirown——nottospeakof——butIknowenoughtoknowthemashas；andwhenIreadthatlittlebook，Isaystomyself，JosiahHackett（that’smyname，sir），whenyou’reindoubtdon’tyougetaddlingthatthickheado’yours，aswillonlytellyouallwrong；yougotothegentlemanaswrotethatlittlebookandaskhimforhisadvice。Heisakind—heartedgentleman，asanyonecantell，andhe’llgiveityou；andWHENyou’vegotit，yougostraightahead，fullsteam，anddon’tyoustopfornothing，’causehe’llknowwhat’sbestforyou，sameasheknowswhat’sbestforeverybody。That’swhatIsays，sir；andthat’swhatI’mherefor。’
　　"Hepaused，andwipedhisbrowwithagreencottonhandkerchief。I
　　prayedhimtoproceed。
　　"Itappearedthattheworthyfellowwantedtomarry，butcouldnotmakeuphismindWHOMhewantedtomarry。Hehadhiseye——soheexpressedit——upontwoyoungwomen，andthey，hehadreasontobelieve，regardedhiminreturnwithmorethanusualfavour。Hisdifficultywastodecidewhichofthetwo——bothofthemexcellentanddeservingyoungpersons——wouldmakehimthebestwife。Theone，Juliana，theonlydaughterofaretiredsea—captain，hedescribedasawinsomelassie。Theother，Hannah，wasanolderandaltogethermorewomanlygirl。Shewastheeldestofalargefamily。Herfather，hesaid，wasaGod—fearingman，andwasdoingwellinthetimbertrade。HeaskedmewhichofthemIshouldadvisehimtomarry。
　　"Iwasflattered。Whatmaninmypositionwouldnothavebeen？
　　ThisJosiahHacketthadcomefromafartohearmywisdom。Hewaswilling——nay，anxious——toentrusthiswholelife’shappinesstomydiscretion。Thathewaswiseinsodoing，Ientertainednodoubt。
　　ThechoiceofawifeIhadalwaysheldtobeamatterneedingacalm，unbiassedjudgment，suchasnolovercouldpossiblybringtobearuponthesubject。Insuchacase，Ishouldnothavehesitatedtoofferadvicetothewisestofmen。Tothispoor，simple—mindedfellow，Ifeltitwouldbecrueltorefuseit。
　　"Hehandedmephotographsofboththeyoungpersonsunderconsideration。IjotteddownonthebackofeachsuchparticularsasIdeemedwouldassistmeinestimatingtheirrespectivefitnessforthevacancyinquestion，andpromisedtocarefullyconsidertheproblem，andwritehiminadayortwo。
　　"Hisgratitudewastouching。’Don’tyoutroubletowritenoletters，sir，’hesaid；’youjuststickdown"Julia"or"Hannah"onabitofpaper，andputitinanenvelope。Ishallknowwhatitmeans，andthat’stheoneasIshallmarry。’
　　"Thenhegrippedmebythehandandleftme。
　　"IgaveagooddealofthoughttotheselectionofJosiah’swife。I
　　wantedhimtobehappy。
　　"Julianawascertainlyverypretty。TherewasalurkingplayfulnessaboutthecornersofJuliana’smouthwhichconjuredupthesoundofripplinglaughter。HadIactedonimpulse，IshouldhaveclaspedJulianainJosiah’sarms。
　　"But，Ireflected，moresterlingqualitiesthanmereplayfulnessandprettinessareneededforawife。Hannah，thoughnotsocharming，clearlypossessedbothenergyandsense——qualitieshighlynecessarytoapoorman’swife。Hannah’sfatherwasapiousman，andwas’doingwell’——athrifty，savingman，nodoubt。Hewouldhaveinstilledintoherlessonsofeconomyandvirtue；and，lateron，shemightpossiblycomeinforalittlesomething。Shewastheeldestofalargefamily。Shewassuretohavehadtohelphermotheragooddeal。Shewouldbeexperiencedinhouseholdmatters，andwouldunderstandthebringingupofchildren。
　　"Julia’sfather，ontheotherhand，wasaretiredsea—captain。
　　Seafaringfolkaregenerallyloosesortoffish。Hehadprobablybeeninthehabitofgoingaboutthehouse，usinglanguageandexpressingviews，thehearingofwhichcouldnotbuthaveexercisedaninjuriouseffectupontheformationofagrowinggirl’scharacter。Julianawashisonlychild。Onlychildrengenerallymakebadmenandwomen。Theyareallowedtohavetheirownwaytoomuch。Theprettydaughterofaretiredsea—captainwouldbecertaintobespoilt。
　　"Josiah，Ihadalsotoremember，wasamanevidentlyofweakcharacter。Hewouldneedmanagement。Now，therewassomethingaboutHannah’seyethateminentlysuggestedmanagement。
　　"Attheendoftwodaysmymindwasmadeup。Iwrote’Hannah’onaslipofpaper，andpostedit。
　　"AfortnightafterwardsIreceivedaletterfromJosiah。Hethankedmeformyadvice，butadded，incidentally，thathewishedIcouldhavemadeitJulia。However，hesaid，hefeltsureIknewbest，andbythetimeIreceivedtheletterheandHannahwouldbeone。
　　"Thatletterworriedme。Ibegantowonderif，afterall，Ihadchosentherightgirl。SupposeHannahwasnotallIthoughther！
　　WhataterriblethingitwouldbeforJosiah。Whatdata，sufficienttoreasonupon，hadIpossessed？HowdidIknowthatHannahwasnotalazy，ill—temperedgirl，acontinualthorninthesideofherpoor，overworkedmother，andaperpetualblistertoheryoungerbrothersandsisters？HowdidIknowshehadbeenwellbroughtup？
　　Herfathermightbeapreciousoldfraud：mostseeminglypiousmenare。Shemayhavelearnedfromhimonlyhypocrisy。
　　"Thenalso，howdidIknowthatJuliana’smerrychildishnesswouldnotripenintosweet，cheerfulwomanliness？Herfather，forallI
　　knewtothecontrary，mightbethemodelofwhataretiredsea—
　　captainshouldbe；withpossiblyasnuglittlesumsafelyinvestedsomewhere。AndJulianawashisonlychild。WhatreasonhadIforrejectingthisfairyoungcreature’sloveforJosiah？
　　"Itookherphotofrommydesk。Iseemedtodetectareproachfullookinthebigeyes。Isawbeforemethesceneinthelittlefar—
　　awayhomewhenthefirsttidingsofJosiah’smarriagefelllikeacruelstoneintothehithertoplacidwatersofherlife。Isawherkneelingbyherfather’schair，whilethewhite—haired，bronzedoldmangentlystrokedthegoldenhead，shakingwithsilentsobsagainsthisbreast。MyremorsewasalmostmorethanIcouldbear。
　　"IputherasideandtookupHannah——mychosenone。Sheseemedtoberegardingmewithasmileofheartlesstriumph。TherebegantotakepossessionofmeafeelingofpositivedisliketoHannah。
　　"Ifoughtagainstthefeeling。Itoldmyselfitwasprejudice。ButthemoreIreasonedagainstitthestrongeritbecame。Icouldtellthat，asthedayswentby，itwouldgrowfromdisliketoloathing，fromloathingtohate。AndthiswasthewomanIhaddeliberatelyselectedasalifecompanionforJosiah！
　　"ForweeksIknewnopeaceofmind。EveryletterthatarrivedI
　　dreadedtoopen，fearingitmightbefromJosiah。AteveryknockI
　　startedup，andlookedaboutforahiding—place。EverytimeIcameacrosstheheading，’DomesticTragedy，’inthenewspapers，Ibrokeintoacoldperspiration。IexpectedtoreadthatJosiahandHannahhadmurderedeachother，anddiedcursingme。
　　"Asthetimewentby，however，andIheardnothing，myfearsbegantoassuage，andmybeliefinmyownintuitivegoodjudgmenttoreturn。Maybe，IhaddoneagoodthingforJosiahandHannah，andtheywereblessingme。Threeyearspassedpeacefullyaway，andI
　　wasbeginningtoforgettheexistenceoftheHacketts。
　　"Thenhecameagain。Ireturnedhomefrombusinessoneeveningtofindhimwaitingformeinthehall。ThemomentIsawhimIknewthatmyworstfearshadfallenshortofthetruth。Imotionedhimtofollowmetomystudy。Hedidso，andseatedhimselfintheidenticalchaironwhichhehadsatthreeyearsago。Thechangeinhimwasremarkable；helookedoldandcareworn。Hismannerwasthatofresignedhopelessness。
　　"Weremainedforawhilewithoutspeaking，hetwirlinghishatasatourfirstinterview，Imakingashowofarrangingpapersonmydesk。
　　Atlength，feelingthatanythingwouldbemorebearablethanthissilence，Iturnedtohim。
　　"’Thingshavenotbeengoingwellwithyou，I’mafraid，Josiah？’I
　　said。
　　"’No，sir，’herepliedquietly；’Ican’tsayastheyhave，altogether。ThatHannahofyourshasturnedoutabitofateaser。’
　　"Therewasnotouchofreproachinhistones。Hesimplystatedamelancholyfact。
　　"’Butsheisagoodwifetoyouinotherways，’Iurged。’Shehasherfaults，ofcourse。Weallhave。Butsheisenergetic。Comenow，youwilladmitshe’senergetic。’
　　"IowedittomyselftofindsomegoodinHannah，andthiswastheonlythingIcouldthinkofatthatmoment。
　　"’Ohyes，she’sthat，’heassented。’Alittletoomuchsoforoursizedhouse，Isometimesthink。’
　　"’Yousee，’hewenton，’she’sabitcorneryinhertemper，Hannahis；andthenhermother’sabittrying，attimes。’
　　"’Hermother！’Iexclaimed，’butwhat’sSHEgottodowithyou？’
　　"’Well，yousee，sir，’heanswered，’she’slivingwithusnow——eversincetheoldmanwentoff。’
　　"’Hannah’sfather！Ishedead，then？’
　　"’Well，notexactly，sir，’hereplied。’HeranoffaboutatwelvemonthagowithoneoftheyoungwomenwhousedtoteachintheSundaySchool，andjoinedtheMormons。Itcameasagreatsurprisetoeveryone。’
　　"Igroaned。’Andhisbusiness，’Iinquired——’thetimberbusiness，whocarriesthaton？’
　　"’Oh，that！’answeredJosiah。’Oh，thathadtobesoldtopayhisdebts——leastways，togotowards’em。’
　　"Iremarkedwhataterriblethingitwasforhisfamily。Isupposedthehomewasbrokenup，andtheywereallscattered。
　　"’No，sir，’herepliedsimply，’theyain’tscatteredmuch。They’realllivingwithus。’
　　"’Butthere，’hecontinued，seeingthelookuponmyface；’ofcourse，allthishasnothingtodowithyousir。You’vegottroublesofyourown，Idaresay，sir。Ididn’tcomeheretoworryyouwithmine。Thatwouldbeapoorreturnforallyourkindnesstome。’
　　"’WhathasbecomeofJulia？’Iasked。IdidnotfeelIwantedtoquestionhimanymoreabouthisownaffairs。
　　"Asmilebrokethesettledmelancholyofhisfeatures。’Ah，’hesaid，inamorecheerfultonethanhehadhithertoemployed，’itdoesonegoodtothinkaboutHER，itdoes。She’smarriedtoafriendofminenow，youngSamJessop。Islipsoutandgives’emacallnowandthen，whenHannahain’tround。Lord，it’slikegettingaglimpseofheaventolookintotheirlittlehome。Heoftenchaffsmeaboutit，Samdoes。"Well，youWASasawny—headedchunk，Josiah，YOUwas，"heoftensaystome。We’reoldchums，youknow，sir，Samandme，sohedon’tmindjokingabitlike。’
　　"Thenthesmilediedaway，andheaddedwithasigh，’Yes，I’veoftenthoughtsince，sir，howjollyitwouldhavebeenifyoucouldhaveseenyourwaytomakingitJuliana。’
　　"IfeltImustgethimbacktoHannahatanycost。Isaid，’I
　　supposeyouandyourwifearestilllivingintheoldplace？’
　　"’Yes，’hereplied，’ifyoucancallitliving。It’sahardstrugglewithsomanyofus。’
　　"HesaidhedidnotknowhowheshouldhavemanagedifithadnotbeenforthehelpofJulia’sfather。Hesaidthecaptainhadbehavedmorelikeanangelthananythingelseheknewof。
　　"’Idon’tsayashe’soneofyourcleversort，youknow，sir，’heexplained。’Notthemanasonewouldgotoforadvice，likeonewouldtoyou，sir；buthe’sagoodsortforallthat。’
　　"’Andthatremindsme，sir，’hewenton，’ofwhatI’vecomehereabout。You’llthinkitveryboldofmetoask，sir，but——’
　　"Iinterruptedhim。’Josiah，’Isaid，’IadmitthatIammuchtoblameforwhathascomeuponyou。Youaskedmeformyadvice，andI
　　gaveityou。Whichofuswasthebiggeridiot，wewillnotdiscuss。
　　ThepointisthatIdidgiveit，andIamnotamantoshirkmyresponsibilities。What，inreason，youask，andIcangrant，Iwillgiveyou。’
　　"Hewasovercomewithgratitude。’Iknewit，sir，’hesaid。’I
　　knewyouwouldnotrefuseme。IsaidsotoHannah。Isaid，"Iwillgotothatgentlemanandaskhim。Iwillgotohimandaskhimforhisadvice。’"
　　"Isaid，’Hiswhat？’
　　"’Hisadvice，’repeatedJosiah，apparentlysurprisedatmytone，’onalittlematterasIcan’tquitemakeupmymindabout。’
　　"Ithoughtatfirsthewastryingtobesarcastic，buthewasn’t。
　　Thatmansatthere，andwrestledwithmeformyadviceastowhetherheshouldinvestathousanddollarswhichJulia’sfatherhadofferedtolendhim，inthepurchaseofalaundrybusinessorabar。Hehadn’thadenoughofit（myadvice，Imean）；hewanteditagain，andhespunmereasonswhyIshouldgiveithim。Thechoiceofawifewasadifferentthingaltogether，heargued。PerhapsheoughtNOT
　　tohaveaskedmeformyopinionastothat。Butadviceastowhichoftwotradesamanwoulddobesttoselect，surelyanybusinessmancouldgive。Hesaidhehadjustbeenreadingagainmylittlebook，HowtobeHappy，etc。，andifthegentlemanwhowrotethatcouldnotdecidebetweentherespectivemeritsofoneparticularlaundryandoneparticularbar，bothsituateinthesamecity，well，then，allhehadgottosaywasthatknowledgeandwisdomwereclearlyofnopracticaluseinthisworldwhatever。
　　"Well，itdidseemasimplethingtoadviseamanabout。Surelyastoamatterofthiskind，I，aprofessedbusinessman，mustbeabletoformasounderjudgmentthanthispoorpumpkin—headedlamb。Itwouldbeheartlesstorefusetohelphim。Ipromisedtolookintothematter，andlethimknowwhatIthought。
　　"Heroseandshookmebythehand。Hesaidhewouldnottrytothankme；wordswouldonlyseemweak。Hedashedawayatearandwentout。
　　Ibroughtanamountofthoughttobearuponthisthousand—dollarinvestmentsufficienttohavefloatedabank。IdidnotmeantomakeanotherHannahjob，ifIcouldhelpit。IstudiedthepapersJosiahhadleftwithme，butdidnotattempttoformanyopinionfromthem。IwentdownquietlytoJosiah’scity，andinspectedbothbusinessesonthespot。Iinstitutedsecretbutsearchinginquiriesintheneighbourhood。Idisguisedmyselfasasimple—mindedyoungmanwhohadcomeintoalittlemoney，andwormedmyselfintotheconfidenceoftheservants。IinterviewedhalfthetownuponthepretencethatIwaswritingthecommercialhistoryofNewEngland，andshouldlikesomeparticularsoftheircareer，andIinvariablyendedmyexaminationbyaskingthemwhichwastheirfavouritebar，andwheretheygottheirwashingdone。Istayedafortnightinthetown。MostofmysparetimeIspentatthebar。InmyleisuremomentsIdirtiedmyclothessothattheymightbewashedatthelaundry。
　　"AstheresultofmyinvestigationsIdiscoveredthat，sofarasthetwobusinessesthemselveswereconcerned，therewasnotapintochoosebetweenthem。ItbecamemerelyaquestionofwhichparticulartradewouldbestsuittheHacketts。
　　"Ireflected。Thekeeperofabarwasexposedtomuchtemptation。
　　Aweak—mindedman，minglingcontinuallyinthecompanyoftopers，mightpossiblyendbygivingwaytodrink。Now，Josiahwasanexceptionallyweak—mindedman。Ithadalsotobeborneinmindthathehadashrewishwife，andthatherwholefamilyhadcometolivewithhim。Clearly，toplaceJosiahinapositionofeasyaccesstounlimitedliquorwouldbemadness。
　　"Aboutalaundry，ontheotherhand，therewassomethingsoothing。
　　Theworkingofalaundryneededmanyhands。Hannah’srelativesmightbeusedupinalaundry，andmadetoearntheirownliving。
　　Hannahmightexpendherenergyinflat—ironing，andJosiahcouldturnthemangle。Theideaconjuredupquiteapleasantdomesticpicture。Irecommendedthelaundry。
　　"OnthefollowingMonday，Josiahwrotetosaythathehadboughtthelaundry。OnTuesdayIreadintheCommercialIntelligencethatoneofthemostremarkablefeaturesofthetimewasthemarvellousrisetakingplacealloverNewEnglandinthevalueofhotelandbarproperty。OnThursday，inthelistoffailures，Icameacrossnolessthanfourlaundryproprietors；andthepaperadded，inexplanation，thattheAmericanwashingindustry，owingtotherapidgrowthofChinesecompetition，waspracticallyonitslastlegs。I
　　wentoutandgotdrunk。
　　"Mylifebecameacursetome。AlldaylongIthoughtofJosiah。
　　AllnightIdreamedofhim。Supposethat，notcontentwithbeingthecauseofhisdomesticmisery，Ihadnowdeprivedhimofthemeansofearningalivelihood，andhadrendereduselessthegenerosityofthatgoodoldsea—captain。Ibegantoappeartomyselfasamalignantfiend，everfollowingthissimplebutworthymantoworkeviluponhim。
　　"Timepassedaway，however；Iheardnothingfromorofhim，andmyburdenatlastfellfromme。
　　"Thenattheendofaboutfiveyearshecameagain。
　　"HecamebehindmeasIwasopeningthedoorwithmylatch—key，andlaidanunsteadyhanduponmyarm。Itwasadarknight，butagas—
　　lampshowedmehisface。Irecogniseditinspiteoftheredblotchesandtheblearyfilmthathidtheeyes。Icaughthimroughlybythearm，andhurriedhiminsideandupintomystudy。
　　"’Sitdown，’Ihissed，’andtellmetheworstfirst。’
　　"Hewasabouttoselecthisfavouritechair。IfeltthatifIsawhimandthatparticularchairinassociationforthethirdtime，I
　　shoulddosomethingterribletoboth。Isnatcheditawayfromhim，andhesatdownheavilyonthefloor，andburstintotears。Ilethimremainthere，and，thickly，betweenhiccoughs，hetoldhistale。
　　"Thelaundryhadgonefrombadtoworse。Anewrailwayhadcometothetown，alteringitswholetopography。Thebusinessandresidentialportionhadgraduallyshiftednorthward。Thespotwherethebar——theparticularonewhichIhadrejectedforthelaundry——
　　hadformerlystoodwasnowthecommercialcentreofthecity。ThemanwhohadpurchaseditinplaceofJosiahhadsoldoutandmadeafortune。Thesouthernarea（wherethelaundrywassituate）was，ithadbeendiscovered，builtuponaswamp，andwasinahighlyunsanitarycondition。Carefulhousewivesnaturallyobjectedtosendingtheirwashingintosuchaneighbourhood。
　　"Othertroubleshadalsocome。Thebaby——Josiah’spet，theonebrightthinginhislife——hadfallenintothecopperandbeenboiled。Hannah’smotherhadbeencrushedinthemangle，andwasnowahelplesscripple，whohadtobewaitedondayandnight。
　　"UndertheseaccumulatedmisfortunesJosiahhadsoughtconsolationindrink，andhadbecomeahopelesssot。Hefelthisdegradationkeenly，andweptcopiously。Hesaidhethoughtthatinacheerfulplace，suchasabar，hemighthavebeenstrongandbrave；butthattherewassomethingabouttheeverlastingsmellofdampclothesandsuds，thatseemedtosaphismanhood。
　　"Iaskedhimwhatthecaptainhadsaidtoitall。Heburstintofreshtears，andrepliedthatthecaptainwasnomore。That，headded，remindedhimofwhathehadcomeabout。Thegood—heartedoldfellowhadbequeathedhimfivethousanddollars。Hewantedmyadviceastohowtoinvestit。
　　"Myfirstimpulsewastokillhimonthespot。IwishnowthatI
　　had。Irestrainedmyself，however，andofferedhimthealternativeofbeingthrownfromthewindoworofleavingbythedoorwithoutanotherword。
　　"HeansweredthathewasquitepreparedtogobythewindowifI
　　wouldfirsttellhimwhethertoputhismoneyintheTerradelFuegoNitrateCompany，Limited，orintheUnionPacificBank。Lifehadnofurtherinterestforhim。Allhecaredforwastofeelthatthislittlenest—eggwassafelylaidbyforthebenefitofhisbelovedonesafterhewasgone。
　　"HepressedmetotellhimwhatIthoughtofnitrates。IrepliedthatIdeclinedtosayanythingwhateveronthesubject。HeassumedfrommyanswerthatIdidnotthinkmuchofnitrates，andannouncedhisintentionofinvestingthemoney，inconsequence，intheUnionPacificBank。
　　"Itoldhimbyallmeanstodoso，ifheliked。
　　"Hepaused，andseemedtobepuzzlingitout。Thenhesmiledknowingly，andsaidhethoughtheunderstoodwhatImeant。Itwasverykindofme。HeshouldputeverydollarhepossessedintheTerradelFuegoNitrateCompany。
　　"Herose（withdifficulty）togo。Istoppedhim。Iknew，ascertainlyasIknewthesunwouldrisethenextmorning，thatwhichevercompanyIadvisedhim，orhepersistedinthinkingIhadadvisedhim（whichwasthesamething），toinvestin，would，soonerorlater，cometosmash。MygrandmotherhadallherlittlefortuneintheTerradelFuegoNitrateCompany。Icouldnotseeherbroughttopenuryinheroldage。AsforJosiah，itcouldmakenodifferencetohimwhatever。Hewouldlosehismoneyinanyevent。
　　IadvisedhimtoinvestinUnionPacificBankShares。Hewentanddidit。
　　"TheUnionPacificBankheldoutforeighteenmonths。Thenitbegantototter。Thefinancialworldstoodbewildered。Ithadalwaysbeenreckonedoneofthesafestbanksinthecountry。Peopleaskedwhatcouldbethecause。Iknewwellenough，butIdidnottell。
　　"TheBankmadeagallantfight，butthehandoffatewasuponit。
　　Attheendofanotherninemonthsthecrashcame。
　　"（Nitrates，itneedhardlybesaid，hadallthistimebeengoingupbyleapsandbounds。Mygrandmotherdiedworthamilliondollars，andleftthewholeofittoacharity。HadsheknownhowIhadsavedherfromruin，shemighthavebeenmoregrateful。）
　　"AfewdaysafterthefailureoftheBank，Josiaharrivedonmydoorstep；and，thistime，hebroughthisfamilieswithhim。Thereweresixteenoftheminall。
　　"WhatwasItodo？Ihadbroughtthesepeoplestepbysteptothevergeofstarvation。Ihadlaidwastealiketheirhappinessandtheirprospectsinlife。TheleastamendsIcouldmakewastoseethatatalleventstheydidnotwantforthenecessitiesofexistence。
　　"Thatwasseventeenyearsago。Iamstillseeingthattheydonotwantforthenecessitiesofexistence；andmyconscienceisgrowingeasierbynoticingthattheyseemcontentedwiththeirlot。Therearetwenty—twoofthemnow，andwehavehopesofanotherinthespring。
　　"Thatismystory，"hesaid。"Perhapsyouwillnowunderstandmysuddenemotionwhenyouaskedformyadvice。Asamatteroffact，I
　　donotgiveadvicenowonanysubject。"
　　ItoldthistaletoMacShaughnassy。Heagreedwithmethatitwasinstructive，andsaidheshouldrememberit。Hesaidheshouldrememberitsoastotellittosomefellowsthatheknew，towhomhethoughtthelessonshouldproveuseful。