’Comehereaminute,oldman。I’mintrouble’——’Heavensendhe’lllistentome!’TherewassomethingverylikeanoathfromBessie’slips。ShewasafraidofDick,anddisappeareddownthestaircaseinpanic,butitseemedanagebeforeTorpenhowenteredthestudio。Hewenttothemantelpiece,buriedhisheadonhisarms,andgroanedlikeawoundedbull。
’Whatthedevilrighthaveyoutointerfere?’hesaid,atlast。
’Who’sinterferingwithwhich?Yourownsensetoldyoulongagoyoucouldn’tbesuchafool。Itwasatoughrack,St。Anthony,butyou’reallrightnow。’
’Ioughtn’ttohaveseenhermovingabouttheseroomsasiftheybelongedtoher。That’swhatupsetme。Itgivesalonelymanasortofhankering,doesn’tit?’saidTorpenhow,piteously。
’Nowyoutalksense。Itdoes。But,sinceyouaren’tinaconditiontodiscussthedisadvantagesofdoublehousekeeping,doyouknowwhatyou’regoingtodo?’
’Idon’t。IwishIdid。’
’You’regoingawayforaseasononabrillianttourtoregaintone。You’regoingtoBrighton,orScarborough,orPrawlePoint,toseetheshipsgoby。Andyou’regoingatonce。Isn’titodd?I’lltakecareofBinkie,butoutyougoimmediately。Neverresistthedevil。Heholdsthebank。Flyfromhim。Packyourthingsandgo。’
’Ibelieveyou’reright。WhereshallIgo?’
’Andyoucallyourselfaspecialcorrespondent!Packfirstandinquireafterwards。’
AnhourlaterTorpenhowwasdespatchedintothenightforahansom。
’You’llprobablythinkofsomeplacetogotowhileyou’removing,’saidDick。’OntoEuston,tobeginwith,and——ohyes——getdrunkto—night。’
Hereturnedtothestudio,andlightedmorecandles,forhefoundtheroomverydark。
’Oh,youJezebel!youfutilelittleJezebel!Won’tyouhatemeto—morrow!——Binkie,comehere。’
Binkieturnedoveronhisbackonthehearth—rug,andDickstirredhimwithameditativefoot。
’Isaidshewasnotimmoral。Iwaswrong。Shesaidshecouldcook。Thatshowedpremeditatedsin。Oh,Binkie,ifyouareamanyouwillgotoperdition;butifyouareawoman,andsaythatyoucancook,youwillgotoamuchworseplace。’?
CHAPTERX
What’syouthatfollowsatmyside?——
Thefoethatyemustfight,mylord。——
ThathirplesswiftasIcanride?——
Theshadowofthenight,mylord。——
Thenwheelmyhorseagainstthefoe!——
He’sdownandoverpast,mylord。
Yewaragainstthesunsetglow;
Thedarknessgathersfast,mylord。
——TheFightofHeriot’sFord。?
’THISisacheerfullife,’saidDick,somedayslater。’Torp’saway;Bessiehatesme;Ican’tgetatthenotionoftheMelancolia;Maisie’slettersarescrappy;andIbelieveIhaveindigestion。Whatgiveamanpainsacrosstheheadandspotsbeforehiseyes,Binkie?Shallustakesomeliverpills?’
DickhadjustgonethroughalivelyscenewithBessie。ShehadforthefiftiethtimereproachedhimforsendingTorpenhowaway。SheexplainedherenduringhatredforDick,andmadeitcleartohimthatsheonlysatforthesakeofhismoney。’AndMr。Torpenhow’stentimesabettermanthanyou,’sheconcluded。
’Heis。That’swhyhewentaway。Ishouldhavestayedandmadelovetoyou。’
Thegirlsatwithherchinonherhand,scowling。’Tome!I’dliketocatchyou!IfIwasn’tafraido’beinghungI’dkillyou。That’swhatI’ddo。
D’youbelieveme?’
Dicksmiledwearily。Itisnotpleasanttoliveinthecompanyofanotionthatwillnotworkout,afox—terrierthatcannottalk,andawomanwhotalkstoomuch。Hewouldhaveanswered,butatthatmomentthereunrolleditselffromonecornerofthestudioaveil,asitwere,oftheflimsiestgauze。Herubbedhiseyes,butthegrayhazewouldnotgo。
’Thisisdisgracefulindigestion。Binkie,wewillgotoamedicine—man。Wecan’thaveoureyesinterferedwith,forbythesewegetourbread;alsomutton—chopbonesforlittledogs。’
Thedoctorwasanaffablelocalpractitionerwithwhitehair,andhesaidnothingtillDickbegantodescribethegrayfilminthestudio。
’Weallwantalittlepatchingandrepairingfromtimetotime,’hechirped。’Likeaship,mydearsir,——exactlylikeaship。Sometimesthehullisoutoforder,andweconsultthesurgeon;sometimestherigging,andthenIadvise;sometimestheengines,andwegotothebrain—specialist;
sometimesthelook—outonthebridgeistired,andthenweseeanoculist。I
shouldrecommendyoutoseeanoculist。Alittlepatchingandrepairingfromtimetotimeisallwewant。Anoculist,byallmeans。’
Dicksoughtanoculist,——thebestinLondon。Hewascertainthatthelocalpractitionerdidnotknowanythingabouthistrade,andmorecertainthatMaisiewouldlaughathimifhewereforcedtowearspectacles。
’I’veneglectedthewarningsofmylordthestomachtoolong。Hencethesespotsbeforetheeyes,Binkie。IcanseeaswellasIevercould。’
Asheenteredthedarkhallthatledtotheconsulting—roomamancannonedagainsthim。Dicksawthefaceasithurriedoutintothestreet。
’That’sthewriter—type。HehasthesamemodellingoftheforeheadasTorp。Helooksverysick。Probablyheardsomethinghedidn’tlike。’
Evenashethought,agreatfearcameuponDick,afearthatmadehimholdhisbreathashewalkedintotheoculist’swaitingroom,withtheheavycarvedfurniture,thedark—greenpaper,andthesober—huedprintsonthewall。Herecognisedareproductionofoneofhisownsketches。
Manypeoplewerewaitingtheirturnbeforehim。Hiseyewascaughtbyaflamingred—and—goldChristmas—carolbook。Littlechildrencametothateye—doctor,andtheyneededlarge—typeamusement。
’That’sidolatrousbadArt,’hesaid,drawingthebooktowardshimself。
’Fromtheanatomyoftheangels,ithasbeenmadeinGermany。’Heopenedinmechanically,andthereleapedtohiseyesaverseprintedinredink——
ThenextgoodjoythatMaryhad,Itwasthejoyofthree,ToseehergoodSonJesusChristMakingtheblindtosee;
Makingtheblindtosee,goodLord,Andhappywemaybe。
PraiseFather,Son,andHolyGhostToalleternity!?
Dickreadandre—readtheversetillhisturncame,andthedoctorwasbendingabovehimseatedinanarm—chair。Theblazeofthegas—microscopeinhiseyesmadehimwince。Thedoctor’shandtouchedthescarofthesword—cutonDick’shead,andDickexplainedbrieflyhowhehadcomebyit。Whentheflamewasremoved,Dicksawthedoctor’sface,andthefearcameuponhimagain。Thedoctorwrappedhimselfinamistofwords。Dickcaughtallusionsto’scar,’’frontalbone,’’opticnerve,’’extremecaution,’andthe’avoidanceofmentalanxiety。’
’Verdict?’hesaidfaintly。’Mybusinessispainting,andIdaren’twastetime。Whatdoyoumakeofit?’
Againthewhirlofwords,butthistimetheyconveyedameaning。
’Canyougivemeanythingtodrink?’
Manysentenceswerepronouncedinthatdarkenedroom,andtheprisonersoftenneededcheering。Dickfoundaglassofliqueurbrandyinhishand。
’AsfarasIcangather,’hesaid,coughingabovethespirit,’youcallitdecayoftheopticnerve,orsomething,andthereforehopeless。Whatismytime—limit,avoidingallstrainandworry?’
’Perhapsoneyear。’
’MyGod!AndifIdon’ttakecareofmyself?’
’Ireallycouldnotsay。Onecannotascertaintheexactamountofinjuryinflictedbythesword—cut。Thescarisanoldone,and——exposuretothestronglightofthedesert,didyousay?——withexcessiveapplicationtofinework?Ireallycouldnotsay?’
’Ibegyourpardon,butithascomewithoutanywarning。Ifyouwillletme,I’llsithereforaminute,andthenI’llgo。Youhavebeenverygoodintellingmethetruth。Withoutanywarning;withoutanywarning。
Thanks。’
Dickwentintothestreet,andwasrapturouslyreceivedbyBinkie。
’We’vegotitverybadly,littledog!Justasbadlyaswecangetit。We’llgototheParktothinkitout。’
TheyheadedforacertaintreethatDickknewwell,andtheysatdowntothin,becausehislegsweretremblingunderhimandtherewascoldfearatthepitofhisstomach。
’Howcouldithavecomewithoutanywarning?It’sassuddenasbeingshot。It’sthelivingdeath,Binkie。We’retobeshutupinthedarkinoneyearifwe’recareful,andweshan’tseeanybody,andweshallneverhaveanythingwewant,notthoughwelivetobeahundred!’Binkiewaggedhistailjoyously。’Binkie,wemustthink。Let’sseehowitfeelstobeblind。’Dickshuthiseyes,andflamingcommasandCatherine—wheelsfloatedinsidethelids。YetwhenhelookedacrosstheParkthescopeofhisvisionwasnotcontracted。Hecouldseeperfectly,untilaprocessionofslow—wheelingfireworksdefiledacrosshiseyeballs。
’Littledorglums,wearen’tatallwell。Let’sgohome。IfonlyTorpwereback,now!’
ButTorpenhowwasinthesouthofEngland,inspectingdockyardsinthecompanyoftheNilghai。Hisletterswerebriefandfullofmystery。
Dickhadneveraskedanybodytohelphiminhisjoysorhissorrows。Heargued,inthelonelinessofhisstudio,henceforwardtobedecoratedwithafilmofgraygauzeinonecorner,that,ifhisfatewereblindness,alltheTorpenhowsintheworldcouldnotsavehim。’Ican’tcallhimoffhistriptositdownandsympathisewithme。Imustpullthroughthisbusinessalone,’hesaid。Hewaslyingonthesofa,eatinghismoustacheandwonderingwhatthedarknessofthenightwouldbelike。ThencametohismindthememoryofaquaintsceneintheSoudan。Asoldierhadbeennearlyhackedintwobyabroad—bladedArabspear。Foroneinstantthemanfeltnopain。Lookingdown,hesawthathislife—bloodwasgoingfromhim。ThestupidbewildermentonhisfacewassointenselycomicthatbothDickandTorpenhow,stillpantingandunstrungfromafightforlife,hadroaredwithlaughter,inwhichthemanseemedasifhewouldjoin,but,ashislipspartedinasheepishgrin,theagonyofdeathcameuponhim,andhepitchedgruntingattheirfeet。Dicklaughedagain,rememberingthehorror。Itseemedsoexactlylikehisowncase。
’ButIhavealittlemoretimeallowedme,’hesaid。Hepacedupanddowntheroom,quietlyatfirst,butafterwardswiththehurriedfeetoffear。Itwasasthoughablackshadowstoodathiselbowandurgedhimtogoforward;andtherewereonlyweavingcirclesandfloatingpin—dotsbeforehiseyes。
’Weneedtobecalm,Binkie;wemustbecalm。’Hetalkedaloudforthesakeofdistraction。’Thisisn’tniceatall。Whatshallwedo?Wemustdosomething。Ourtimeisshort。Ishouldn’thavebelievedthatthismorning;
butnowthingsaredifferent。Binkie,wherewasMoseswhenthelightwentout?’
Binkiesmiledfromeartoear,asawell—bredterriershould,butmadenosuggestion。
’"Weretherebutworldenoughandtime,Thiscoyness,Binkie,werenotcrime……ButatmybackIalwayshear————"’Hewipedhisforehead,whichwasunpleasantlydamp。’WhatcanIdo?WhatcanIdo?Ihaven’tanynotionsleft,andIcan’tthinkconnectedly,butImustdosomething,orIshallgooffmyhead。’
Thehurriedwalkrecommenced,Dickstoppingeverynowandagaintodragforthlong—neglectedcanvasesandoldnote—books;forheturnedtohisworkbyinstinct,asathingthatcouldnotfail。’Youwon’tdo,andyouwon’tdo,’hesaid,ateachinspection。’Nomoresoldiers。Icouldn’tpaint’em。Suddendeathcomeshometoonearly,andthisisbattleandmurderforme。’
Thedaywasfailing,andDickthoughtforamomentthatthetwilightoftheblindhadcomeuponhimunaware。’AllahAlmighty!’hecrieddespairingly,’helpmethroughthetimeofwaiting,andIwon’twhinewhenmypunishmentcomes。WhatcanIdonow,beforethelightgoes?’
Therewasnoanswer。Dickwaitedtillhecouldregainsomesortofcontroloverhimself。Hishandswereshaking,andhepridedhimselfontheirsteadiness;hecouldfeelthathislipswerequivering,andthesweatwasrunningdownhisface。Hewaslashedbyfear,drivenforwardbythedesiretogettoworkatonceandaccomplishsomething,andmaddenedbytherefusalofhisbraintodomorethanrepeatthenewsthathewasabouttogoblind。’It’sahumiliatingexhibition,’hethought,’andI’mgladTorpisn’theretosee。ThedoctorsaidIwastoavoidmentalworry。
Comehereandletmepetyou,Binkie。’
ThelittledogyelpedbecauseDicknearlysqueezedthebarkoutofhim。
Thenheheardthemanspeakinginthetwilight,and,doglike,understoodthathistroublestoodofffromhim——
’Allahisgood,Binkie。Notquitesogentleaswecouldwish,butwe’lldiscussthatlater。IthinkIseemywaytoitnow。AllthosestudiesofBessie’sheadwerenonsense,andtheynearlybroughtyourmasterintoascrape。Iholdthenotionnowasclearascrystal,——"theMelancoliathattranscendsallwit。"ThereshallbeMaisieinthathead,becauseIshallnevergetMaisie;andBess,ofcourse,becausesheknowsallaboutMelancolia,thoughshedoesn’tknowsheknows;andthereshallbesomedrawinginit,anditshallallendupwithalaugh。That’sformyself。Shallshegiggleorgrin?No,sheshalllaughrightoutofthecanvas,andeverymanandwomanthateverhadasorrowoftheirownshall——whatisitthepoemsays?——
’UnderstandthespeechandfeelastirOffellowshipinalldisastrousfight。
"Inalldisastrousfight"?That’sbetterthanpaintingthethingmerelytopiqueMaisie。IcandoitnowbecauseIhaveitinsideme。Binkie,I’mgoingtoholdyouupbyyourtail。You’reanomen。Comehere。’
Binkieswungheaddownwardforamomentwithoutspeaking。
’Ratherlikeholdingaguinea—pig;butyou’reabravelittledog,andyoudon’tyelpwhenyou’rehungup。Itisanomen。’
Binkiewenttohisownchair,andasoftenashelookedsawDickwalkingupanddown,rubbinghishandsandchuckling。ThatnightDickwrotealettertoMaisiefullofthetenderestregardforherhealth,butsayingverylittleabouthisown,anddreamedoftheMelancoliatobeborn。Nottillmorningdidherememberthatsomethingmighthappentohiminthefuture。
Hefelltowork,whistlingsoftly,andwasswallowedupintheclean,clearjoyofcreation,whichdoesnotcometomantoooften,lestheshouldconsiderhimselftheequalofhisGod,andsorefusetodieattheappointedtime。HeforgotMaisie,Torpenhow,andBinkieathisfeet,butrememberedtostirBessie,whoneededverylittlestirring,intoatremendousrage,thathemightwatchthesmoulderinglightsinhereyes。
Hethrewhimselfwithoutreservationintohiswork,anddidnotthinkofthedoomthatwastoovertakehim,forhewaspossessedwithhisnotion,andthethingsofthisworldhadnopoweruponhim。
’You’repleasedto—day,’saidBessie。
Dickwavedhismahl—stickinmysticcirclesandwenttothesideboardforadrink。Intheevening,whentheexaltationofthedayhaddieddown,hewenttothesideboardagain,andaftersomevisitsbecameconvincedthattheeye—doctorwasaliar,sincehecouldstillseeeverythingveryclearly。
HewasofopinionthathewouldevenmakeahomeforMaisie,andthatwhethershelikeditornotsheshouldbehiswife。Themoodpassednextmorning,butthesideboardandalluponitremainedforhiscomfort。
Againhesettowork,andhiseyestroubledhimwithspotsanddashesandblurstillhehadtakencounselwiththesideboard,andtheMelancoliabothonthecanvasandinhisownmindappearedlovelierthanever。Therewasadelightfulsenseofirresponsibilityuponhim,suchastheyfeelwhowalkingamongtheirfellow—menknowthatthedeath—sentenceofdiseaseisuponthem,and,seeingthatfearisbutwasteofthelittletimeleft,areriotouslyhappy。Thedayspassedwithoutevent。
Bessiearrivedpunctuallyalways,and,thoughhervoiceseemedtoDicktocomefromadistance,herfacewasalwaysverynear。TheMelancoliabegantoflameonthecanvas,inthelikenessofawomanwhohadknownallthesorrowintheworldandwaslaughingatit。Itwastruethatthecornersofthestudiodrapedthemselvesingrayfilmandretiredintothedarkness,thatthespotsinhiseyesandthepainsacrosshisheadwereverytroublesome,andthatMaisie’sletterswerehardtoreadandharderstilltoanswer。Hecouldnottellherofhistrouble,andhecouldnotlaughatheraccountsofherownMelancoliawhichwasalwaysgoingtobefinished。Butthefuriousdaysoftoilandthenightsofwilddreamsmadeamendsforall,andthesideboardwashisbestfriendonearth。
Bessiewassingularlydull。SheusedtoshriekwithragewhenDickstaredatherbetweenhalf—closedeyes。Nowshesulked,orwatchedhimwithdisgust,sayingverylittle。
Torpenhowhadbeenabsentforsixweeks。Anincoherentnoteheraldedhisreturn。’News!greatnews!’hewrote。’TheNilghaiknows,andsodoestheKeneu。We’reallbackonThursday。Getlunchandcleanyouraccoutrements。’
DickshowedBessietheletter,andsheabusedhimforthathehadeversentTorpenhowawayandruinedherlife。
’Well,’saidDick,brutally,’you’rebetterasyouare,insteadofmakinglovetosomedrunkenbeastinthestreet。’HefeltthathehadrescuedTorpenhowfromgreattemptation。
’Idon’tknowifthat’sanyworsethansittingtoadrunkenbeastinastudio。Youhaven’tbeensoberforthreeweeks。You’vebeensoakingthewholetime;andyetyoupretendyou’rebetterthanme!’
’Whatd’youmean?’saidDick。
’Mean!You’llseewhenMr。Torpenhowcomesback。’
Itwasnotlongtowait。TorpenhowmetBessieonthestaircasewithoutasignoffeeling。HehadnewsthatwasmoretohimthanmanyBessies,andtheKeneuandtheNilghaiweretramplingbehindhim,callingforDick。
’Drinkinglikeafish,’Bessiewhispered。’He’sbeenatitfornearlyamonth。’Shefollowedthemenstealthilytohearjudgmentdone。
Theycameintothestudio,rejoicing,tobewelcomedovereffusivelybyadrawn,lined,shrunken,haggardwreck,——unshaven,blue—whiteaboutthenostrils,stoopingintheshoulders,andpeeringunderhiseyebrowsnervously。ThedrinkhadbeenatworkassteadilyasDick。
’Isthisyou?’saidTorpenhow。
’Allthat’sleftofme。Sitdown。Binkie’squitewell,andI’vebeendoingsomegoodwork。’Hereeledwherehestood。
’You’vedonesomeoftheworstworkyou’veeverdoneinyourlife。Manalive,you’re————’
Torpenhowturnedtohiscompanionsappealingly,andtheylefttheroomtofindlunchelsewhere。Thenhespoke;but,sincethereproofofafriendismuchtoosacredandintimateathingtobeprinted,andsinceTorpenhowusedfiguresandmetaphorswhichwereunseemly,andcontemptuntranslatable,itwillneverbeknownwhatwasactuallysaidtoDick,whoblinkedandwinkedandpickedathishands。Afteratimetheculpritbegantofeeltheneedofalittleself—respect。Hewasquitesurethathehadnotinanywaydepartedfromvirtue,andtherewerereasons,too,ofwhichTorpenhowknewnothing。Hewouldexplain。
Herose,triedtostraightenhisshoulders,andspoketothefacehecouldhardlysee。
’Youareright,’hesaid。’ButIamright,too。AfteryouwentawayIhadsometroublewithmyeyes。SoIwenttoanoculist,andheturnedagasogene——Imeanagas—engine——intomyeye。Thatwasverylongago。Hesaid,"Scaronthehead,——sword—cutandopticnerve。"Makeanoteofthat。SoIamgoingblind。IhavesomeworktodobeforeIgoblind,andI
supposethatImustdoit。Icannotseemuchnow,butIcanseebestwhenIamdrunk。IdidnotknowIwasdrunktillIwastold,butImustgoonwithmywork。Ifyouwanttoseeit,thereitis。’HepointedtotheallbutfinishedMelancoliaandlookedforapplause。
Torpenhowsaidnothing,andDickbegantowhimperfeebly,forjoyatseeingTorpenhowagain,forgriefatmisdeeds——ifindeedtheyweremisdeeds——thatmadeTorpenhowremoteandunsympathetic,andforchildishvanityhurt,sinceTorpenhowhadnotgivenawordofpraisetohiswonderfulpicture。
Bessielookedthroughthekeyholeafteralongpause,andsawthetwowalkingupanddownasusual,Torpenhow’shandonDick’sshoulder。
HereatshesaidsomethingsoimproperthatitshockedevenBinkie,whowasdribblingpatientlyonthelandingwiththehopeofseeinghismasteragain。
CHAPTERXI
ThelarkwillmakeherhymntoGod,Thepartridgecallherbrood,WhileIforgettheheathItrod,ThefieldswhereinIstood。
’Tisduletoknownotnightfrommorn,ButdeeperduletoknowIcanbuthearthehunter’shornThatonceIusedtoblow。——TheOnlySon。?
ITWASthethirddayafterTorpenhow’sreturn,andhisheartwasheavy。
’Doyoumeantotellmethatyoucan’tseetoworkwithoutwhiskey?It’sgenerallytheotherwayabout。’
’Canadrunkardswearonhishonour?’saidDick。
’Yes,ifhehasbeenasgodamanasyou。’
’ThenIgiveyoumywordofhonour,’saidDick,speakinghurriedlythroughparchedlips。’Oldman,Icanhardlyseeyourfacenow。You’vekeptmesoberfortwodays,——ifIeverwasdrunk,——andI’vedonenowork。
Don’tkeepmebackanymore。Idon’tknowwhenmyeyesmaygiveout。
Thespotsanddotsandthepainsandthingsarecrowdingworsethanever。IswearIcanseeallrightwhenI’m——whenI’mmoderatelyscrewed,asyousay。GivemethreemoresittingsfromBessieandall——thestuffI
want,andthepicturewillbedone。Ican’tkillmyselfinthreedays。ItonlymeansatouchofD。T。attheworst。’
’IfIgiveyouthreedaysmorewillyoupromisemetostopworkand——theotherthing,whetherthepicture’sfinishedornot?’
’Ican’t。Youdon’tknowwhatthatpicturemeanstome。ButsurelyyoucouldgettheNilghaitohelpyou,andknockmedownandtiemeup。I
shouldn’tfightforthewhiskey,butIshouldforthework。’
’Goon,then。Igiveyouthreedays;butyou’renearlybreakingmyheart。’
Dickreturnedtohiswork,toilingasonepossessed;andtheyellowdevilofwhiskeystoodbyhimandchasedawaythespotsinhiseyes。TheMelancoliawasnearlyfinished,andwasallornearlyallthathehadhopedshewouldbe。DickjestedwithBessie,whoremindedhimthathewas’adrunkenbeast’;butthereproofdidnotmovehim。
’Youcan’tunderstand,Bess。Weareinsightoflandnow,andsoonweshallliebackandthinkaboutwhatwe’vedone。I’llgiveyouthreemonths’paywhenthepicture’sfinished,andnexttimeIhaveanymoreworkinhand——butthatdoesn’tmatter。Won’tthreemonths’paymakeyouhatemeless?’
’No,itwon’t!Ihateyou,andI’llgoonhatingyou。Mr。Torpenhowwon’tspeaktomeanymore。He’salwayslookingatmaps。’
BessiedidnotsaythatshehadagainlaidsiegetoTorpenhow,orthatattheendofourpassionatepleadinghehadpickedherup,givenherakiss,andputheroutsidethedoorwiththerecommendationnottobealittlefool。HespentmostofhistimeinthecompanyoftheNilghai,andtheirtalkwasofwarinthenearfuture,thehiringoftransports,andsecretpreparationsamongthedockyards。HedidnotwishtoseeDicktillthepicturewasfinished。
’He’sdoingfirst—classwork,’hesaidtotheNilghai,’andit’squiteoutofhisregularline。But,forthematterofthat,so’shisinfernalsoaking。’
’Nevermind。Leavehimalone。Whenhehascometohissensesagainwe’llcarryhimofffromthisplaceandlethimbreathecleanair。PoorDick!Idon’tenvyyou,Torp,whenhiseyesfail。’
’Yes,itwillbeacaseof"Godhelpthemanwho’schainedtoourDavie。"
Theworstisthatwedon’tknowwhenitwillhappen,andIbelievetheuncertaintyandthewaitinghavesentDicktothewhiskeymorethananythingelse。’
’HowtheArabwhocuthisheadopenwouldgrinifheknew!’
’He’satperfectlibertytogrinifhecan。He’sdead。That’spoorconsolationnow。’
IntheafternoonofthethirddayTorpenhowheardDickcallingforhim。
’Allfinished!’heshouted。’I’vedoneit!Comein!Isn’tsheabeauty?Isn’tsheadarling?I’vebeendowntohelltogether;butisn’tsheworthit?’
Torpenhowlookedattheheadofawomanwholaughed,——afull—lipped,hollow—eyedwomanwholaughedfromoutofthecanvasasDickhadintendedshewould。
’Whotaughtyouhowtodoit?’saidTorpenhow。’Thetouchandnotionhavenothingtodowithyourregularwork。Whatafaceitis!Whateyes,andwhatinsolence!’Unconsciouslyhethrewbackhisheadandlaughedwithher。’She’sseenthegameplayedout,——Idon’tthinkshehadagoodtimeofit,——andnowshedoesn’tcare。Isn’tthattheidea?’
’Exactly。’
’Wheredidyougetthemouthandchinfrom?Theydon’tbelongtoBess。’
’They’re——someoneelse’s。Butisn’titgood?Isn’titthunderinggood?
Wasn’titworththewhiskey?Ididit。AloneIdidit,andit’sthebestI
cando。’Hedrewhisbreathsharply,andwhispered,’JustGod!whatcouldInotdotenyearshence,ifIcandothisnow!——Bytheway,whatdoyouthinkofit,Bess?’
Thegirlwasbitingherlips。SheloathedTorpenhowbecausehehadtakennonoticeofher。
’Ithinkit’sjustthehorridest,beastliestthingIeversaw,’sheanswered,andturnedaway。
’Morethanyouwillbeofthatwayofthinking,youngwoman。——Dick,there’sasortofmurderous,viperinesuggestioninthepoiseoftheheadthatIdon’tunderstand,’saidTorpenhow。
That’strick—work,’saidDick,chucklingwithdelightatbeingcompletelyunderstood。’Icouldn’tresistonelittlebitofsheerswagger。It’saFrenchtrick,andyouwouldn’tunderstand;butit’sgotatbyslewingroundtheheadatrifle,andatiny,tinyforeshorteningofonesideofthefacefromtheangleofthechintothetopoftheleftear。That,anddeepeningtheshadowunderthelobeoftheear。Itwasflagranttrick—work;but,havingthenotionfixed,Ifeltentitledtoplaywithit,——Oh,youbeauty!’
’Amen!Sheisabeauty。Icanfeelit。’
’Sowilleverymanwhohasanysorrowofhisown,’saidDick,slappinghisthigh。’Heshallseehistroublethere,and,bytheLordHarry,justwhenhe’sfeelingproperlysorryforhimselfheshallthrowbackhisheadandlaugh,——assheislaughing。I’veputthelifeofmyheartandthelightofmyeyesintoher,andIdon’tcarewhatcomes……I’mtired,——awfullytired。IthinkI’llgettosleep。Takeawaythewhiskey,ithasserveditsturn,andgiveBessiethirty—sixquid,andthreeoverforluck。Coverthepicture。’
Hedroppedasleepinthelongchair,hidfacewhiteandhaggard,almostbeforehehadfinishedthesentence。BessietriedtotakeTorpenhow’shand。’Aren’tyounevergoingtospeaktomeanymore?’shesaid;butTorpenhowwaslookingatDick。
’Whatastockofvanitythemanhas!I’lltakehiminhandto—morrowandmakemuchofhim。Hedeservesit。——Eh!whatwasthat,Bess?’
’Nothing。I’llputthingstidyherealittle,andthenI’llgo。Youcouldn’tgivethethatthreemonths’paynow,couldyou?Hesaidyouwereto。’
Torpenhowgaveheracheckandwenttohisownrooms。Bessiefaithfullytidiedupthestudio,setthedoorajarforflight,emptiedhalfabottleofturpentineonaduster,andbegantoscrubthefaceoftheMelancoliaviciously。Thepaintdidnotsmudgequicklyenough。Shetookapalette—knifeandscraped,followingeachstrokewiththewetduster。Infiveminutesthepicturewasaformless,scarredmuddleofcolours。Shethrewthepaint—staineddusterintothestudiostove,stuckouthertongueatthesleeper,andwhispered,’Bilked!’assheturnedtorundownthestaircase。ShewouldneverseeTorpenhowanymore,butshehadatleastdoneharmtothemanwhohadcomebetweenherandherdesireandwhousedtomakefunofher。CashingthecheckwastheverycreamofthejesttoBessie。ThenthelittleprivateersailedacrosstheThames,tobeswallowedupinthegraywildernessofSouth—the—Water。
Dickslepttilllateintheevening,whenTorpenhowdraggedhimofftobed。Hiseyeswereasbrightashisvoicewashoarse。’Let’shaveanotherlookatthepicture,’hesaid,insistentlyasachild。
’You——go——to——bed,’saidTorpenhow。’Youaren’tatallwell,thoughyoumayn’tknowit。You’reasjumpyasacat。’
’Ireformto—morrow。Good—night。’
Asherepassedthroughthestudio,Torpenhowliftedtheclothabovethepicture,andalmostbetrayedhimselfbyoutcries:’Wipedout!——scrapedoutandturpedout!He’sonthevergeofjumpsasitis。That’sBess,——thelittlefiend!Onlyawomancouldhavedonethat!—withtheinknotdryonthecheck,too!Dickwillberavingmadto—morrow。Itwasallmyfaultfortryingtohelpgutter—devils。Oh,mypoorDick,theLordishittingyouveryhard!’
Dickcouldnotsleepthatnight,partlyforpurejoy,andpartlybecausethewell—knownCatherine—wheelsinsidehiseyeshadgivenplacetocracklingvolcanoesofmany—colouredfire。’Spoutaway,’hesaidaloud。
’I’vedonemywork,andnowyoucandowhatyouplease。’Helaystill,staringattheceiling,thelong—pent—updeliriumofdrinkinhisveins,hisbrainonfirewithracingthoughtsthatwouldnotstaytobeconsidered,andhishandscrispedanddry。HehadjustdiscoveredthathewaspaintingthefaceoftheMelancoliaonarevolvingdomeribbedwithmillionsoflights,andthatallhiswondrousthoughtsstoodembodiedhundredsoffeetbelowhistinyswingingplank,shoutingtogetherinhishonour,whensomethingcrackedinsidehistempleslikeanoverstrainedbowstring,theglitteringdomebrokeinward,andhewasaloneinthethicknight。
’I’llgotosleep。Theroom’sverydark。Let’slightalampandseehowtheMelancolialooks。Thereoughttohavebeenamoon。’
ItwasthenthatTorpenhowheardhisnamecalledbyavoicethathedidnotknow,——intherattlingaccentsofdeadlyfear。
’He’slookedatthepicture,’washisfirstthought,ashehurriedintothebedroomandfoundDicksittingupandbeatingtheairwithhishands。
’Torp!Torp!whereareyou?Forpity’ssake,cometome!’
’What’sthematter?’
Dickclutchedathisshoulder。’Matter!I’vebeenlyinghereforhoursinthedark,andyouneverheardme。Torp,oldman,don’tgoaway。I’mallinthedark。Inthedark,Itellyou!’
TorpenhowheldthecandlewithinafootofDick’seyes,buttherewasnolightinthoseeyes。Helitthegas,andDickheardtheflamecatch。ThegripofhisfingersonTorpenhow’sshouldermadeTorpenhowwince。
’Don’tleaveme。Youwouldn’tleavemealonenow,wouldyou?Ican’tsee。D’youunderstand?It’sblack,——quiteblack,——andIfeelasifIwasfallingthroughitall。’
’Steadydoesit。’TorpenhowputhisarmroundDickandbegantorockhimgentlytoandfro。
’That’sgood。Nowdon’ttalk。IfIkeepveryquietforawhile,thisdarknesswilllift。Itseemsjustonthepointofbreaking。H’sh!’Dickknithisbrowsandstareddesperatelyinfrontofhim。ThenightairwaschillingTorpenhow’stoes。
’Canyoustaylikethataminute?’hesaid。’I’llgetmydressing—gownandsomeslippers。’
Dickclutchedthebed—headwithbothhandsandwaitedforthedarknesstoclearaway。’Whatatimeyou’vebeen!’hecried,whenTorpenhowreturned。’It’sasblackasever。Whatareyoubangingaboutinthedoor—way?’
’Longchair,——horse—blanket,——pillow。Goingtosleepbyyou。Liedownnow;you’llbebetterinthemorning。’
’Ishan’t!’Thevoicerosetoawail。’MyGod!I’mblind!I’mblind,andthedarknesswillnevergoaway。’Hemadeasiftoleapfromthebed,butTorpenhow’sarmswereroundhim,andTorpenhow’schinwasonhisshoulder,andhisbreathwassqueezedoutofhim。Hecouldonlygasp,’Blind!’andwrigglefeebly。
’Steady,Dickie,steady!’saidthedeepvoiceinhisear,andthegriptightened。’Biteonthebullet,oldman,anddon’tletthemthinkyou’reafraid,’Thegripcoulddrawnocloser。Bothmenwerebreathingheavily。
Dickthrewhisheadfromsidetosideandgroaned。
’Letmego,’hepanted。’You’recrackingmyribs。We—wemustn’tletthemthinkwe’reafraid,mustwe,——allthepowersofdarknessandthatlot?’
’Liedown。It’sallovernow。’
’Yes,’saidDick,obediently。’Butwouldyoumindlettingmeholdyourhand?IfeelasifIwantedsomethingtoholdonto。Onedropsthroughthedarkso。’
Torpenhowthrustoutalargeandhairypawfromthelongchair。Dickclutchedittightly,andinhalfanhourhadfallenasleep。Torpenhowwithdrewhishand,and,stoopingoverDick,kissedhimlightlyontheforehead,asmendosometimeskissawoundedcomradeinthehourofdeath,toeasehisdeparture。
InthegraydawnTorpenhowheardDicktalkingtohimself。Hewasadriftontheshorelesstidesofdelirium,speakingveryquickly——
’It’sapity,——agreatpity;butit’shelped,anditmustbeeaten,MasterGeorge。Sufficientuntothedayistheblindnessthereof,and,further,puttingasideallMelancoliasandfalsehumours,itisofobviousnotoriety——suchasminewas——thatthequeencandonowrong。Torpdoesn’tknowthat。I’lltellhimwhenwe’realittlefartherintothedesert。
Whatabunglethoseboatmenaremakingofthesteamer—ropes!They’llhavethatfour—inchhawserchafedthroughinaminute。Itoldyouso——thereshegoes!Whitefoamongreenwater,andthesteamerslewinground。Howgoodthatlooks!I’llsketchit。No,Ican’t。I’mafflictedwithophthalmia。ThatwasoneofthetenplaguesofEgypt,anditextendsuptheNileintheshapeofcataract。Ha!that’sajoke,Torp。Laugh,yougravenimage,andstandclearofthehawser……It’llknockyouintothewaterandmakeyourdressalldirty,Maisiedear。’
’Oh!’saidTorpenhow。’Thishappenedbefore。Thatnightontheriver。’
’She’llbesuretosayit’smyfaultifyougetmuddy,andyou’requitenearenoughtothebreakwater。Maisie,that’snotfair。Ah!Iknewyou’dmiss。
Lowandtotheleft,dear。Butyou’venoconviction。Don’tbeangry,darling。I’dcutmyhandoffifitwouldgiveyouanythingmorethanobstinacy。Myrighthand,ifitwouldserve。’
’Nowwemustn’tlisten。Here’sanislandshoutingacrossseasofmisunderstandingwithavengeance。Butit’sshoutingtruth,Ifancy,’saidTorpenhow。
Thebabblecontinued。ItallboreuponMaisie。SometimesDicklecturedatlengthonhiscraft,thenhecursedhimselfforhisfollyinbeingenslaved。HepleadedtoMaisieforakiss——onlyonekiss——beforeshewentaway,andcalledtohertocomebackfromVitry—sur—Marne,ifshewould;butthroughallhisravingshebadeheavenandearthwitnessthatthequeencoulddonowrong。
Torpenhowlistenedattentively,andlearnedeverydetailofDick’slifethathadbeenhiddenfromhim。ForthreedaysDickravedthroughthepast,andthenanaturalsleep。’Whatastrainhehasbeenrunningunder,poorchap!’saidTorpenhow。’Dick,ofallmen,handinghimselfoverlikeadog!AndIwaslecturinghimonarrogance!Ioughttohaveknownthatitwasnousetojudgeaman。ButIdidit。Whatademonthatgirlmustbe!Dick’sgivenherhislife,——confoundhim!——andshe’sgivenhimonekissapparently。’
’Torp,’saidDick,fromthebed,’gooutforawalk。You’vebeenheretoolong。I’llgetup。Hi!Thisisannoying。Ican’tdressmyself。Oh,it’stooabsurd!’
Torpenhowhelpedhimintohisclothesandledhimtothebigchairinthestudio。Hesatquietlywaitingunderstrainednervesforthedarknesstolift。Itdidnotliftthatday,northenext。Dickadventuredonavoyageroundthewalls。Hehithisshinsagainstthestove,andthissuggestedtohimthatitwouldbebettertocrawlonallfours,onehandinfrontofhim。Torpenhowfoundhimonthefloor。
’I’mtryingtogetthegeographyofmynewpossessions,’saidhe。’D’yourememberthatniggeryougougedinthesquare?Pityyoudidn’tkeeptheoddeye。Itwouldhavebeenuseful。Anylettersforme?Givemealltheonesinfatgrayenvelopeswithasortofcrownthingoutside。They’reofnoimportance。’
TorpenhowgavehimaletterwithablackM。ontheenvelopeflap。Dickputitintohispocket。TherewasnothinginitthatTorpenhowmightnothaveread,butitbelongedtohimselfandtoMaisie,whowouldneverbelongtohim。
’WhenshefindsthatIdon’twrite,she’llstopwriting。It’sbetterso。I
couldn’tbeanyusetohernow,’Dickargued,andthetemptersuggestedthatheshouldmakeknownhiscondition。Everynerveinhimrevolted。’I
havefallenlowenoughalready。I’mnotgoingtobegforpity。Besides,itwouldbecrueltoher。’HestrovetoputMaisieoutofhisthoughts;buttheblindhavemanyopportunitiesforthinking,andasthetidesofhisstrengthcamebacktohiminthelongemploylessdaysofdeaddarkness,Dick’ssoulwastroubledtothecore。Anotherletter,andanother,camefromMaisie。Thentherewassilence,andDicksatbythewindow,thepulseofsummerintheair,andpicturedherbeingwonbyanotherman,strongerthanhimself。Hisimagination,thekeenerforthedarkbackgrounditworkedagainst,sparedhimnosingledetailthatmightsendhimragingupanddownthestudio,tostumbleoverthestovethatseemedtobeinfourplacesatonce。Worstofall,tobaccowouldnottasteinthedarkness。Thearroganceofthemanhaddisappeared,andinitsplaceweresettleddespairthatTorpenhowknew,andblindpassionthatDickconfidedtohispillowatnight。Theintervalsbetweentheparoxysmswerefilledwithintolerablewaitingandtheweightofintolerabledarkness。
’ComeoutintothePark,’saidTorpenhow。’Youhaven’tstirredoutsincethebeginningofthings。’
’What’stheuse?There’snomovementinthedark;and,besides,’——hepausedirresolutelyattheheadofthestairs,——’somethingwillrunoverme。’
’NotifI’mwithyou。Proceedgingerly。’
TheroarofthestreetsfilledDickwithnervousterror,andheclungtoTorpenhow’sarm。’Fancyhavingtofeelforagutterwithyourfoot!’hesaidpetulantly,asheturnedintothePark。’Let’scurseGodanddie。’
’Sentriesareforbiddentopayunauthorisedcompliments。ByJove,therearetheGuards!’
Dick’sfigurestraightened。’Let’sgetnear’em。Let’sgoinandlook。Let’sgetonthegrassandrun。Icansmellthetrees。’
’Mindthelowrailing。That’sallright!’Torpenhowkickedoutatuftofgrasswithhisheel。’Smellthat,’hesaid。’Isn’titgood?’Dicksniffedluxuriously。’Nowpickupyourfeetandrun。’Theyapproachedasneartotheregimentaswaspossible。TheclankofbayonetsbeingunfixedmadeDick’snostrilsquiver。
’Let’sgetnearer。They’reincolumn,aren’tthey?’
’Yes。Howdidyouknow?’
’Feltit。Oh,mymen!——mybeautifulmen!’Heedgedforwardasthoughhecouldsee。’Icoulddrawthosechapsonce。Who’lldraw’emnow?’
’They’llmoveoffinaminute。Don’tjumpwhenthebandbegins。’
’Huh!I’mnotanewcharger。It’sthesilencesthathurt。Nearer,Torp!——nearer!Oh,myGod,whatwouldn’tIgivetosee’emforaminute!——onehalf—minute!’
Hecouldhearthearmedlifealmostwithinreachofhim,couldheartheslingstightenacrossthebandsman’schestasheheavedthebigdrumfromtheground。
’Stickscrossedabovehishead,’whisperedTorpenhow。
’Iknow。Iknow!WhoshouldknowifIdon’t?H’sh!’
Thedrum—sticksfellwithaboom,andthemenswungforwardtothecrashoftheband。Dickfeltthewindofthemassedmovementinhisface,heardthemaddeningtrampoffeetandthefrictionofthepouchesonthebelts。Thebigdrumpoundedoutthetune。Itwasamusic—hallrefrainthatmadeaperfectquickstep——
Hemustbeamanofdecentheight,Hemustbeamanofweight,HemustcomehomeonaSaturdaynightInathoroughlysoberstate;
Hemustknowhowtoloveme,Andhemustknowhowtokiss;
Andifhe’senoughtokeepusbothIcan’trefusehimbliss。
’What’sthematter?’saidTorpenhow,ashesawDick’sheadfallwhenthelastoftheregimenthaddeparted。
’Nothing。Ifeelalittlebitoutoftherunning,——that’sall。Torp,takemeback。Whydidyoubringmeout?’?
CHAPTERXII
Therewerethreefriendsthatburiedthefourth,ThemouldinhismouthandthedustinhiseyesAndtheywentsouthandeast,andnorth,——
Thestrongmanfights,butthesickmandies。
Therewerethreefriendsthatspokeofthedead,——
Thestrongmanfights,butthesickmandies。——
’Andwouldhewerewithusnow,’theysaid,’Thesuninourfaceandthewindinoureyes。’
——Ballad。
THENILGHAIwasangrywithTorpenhow。Dickhadbeensenttobed,——blindmenareeverundertheordersofthosewhocansee,——andsincehehadreturnedfromtheParkhadfluentlyswornatTorpenhowbecausehewasalive,andalltheworldbecauseitwasaliveandcouldsee,whilehe,Dick,wasdeadinthedeathoftheblind,who,atthebest,areonlyburdensupontheirassociates。TorpenhowhadsaidsomethingaboutaMrs。Gummidge,andDickhadretiredinablackfurytohandleandre—handlethreeunopenedlettersfromMaisie。
TheNilghai,fat,burly,andaggressive,wasinTorpenhow’srooms。
BehindhimsattheKeneu,theGreatWarEagle,andbetweenthemlayalargemapembellishedwithblack—and—white—headedpins。
’IwaswrongabouttheBalkans,’saidtheNilghai。’ButI’mnotwrongaboutthisbusiness。ThewholeofourworkintheSouthernSoudanmustbedoneoveragain。Thepublicdoesn’tcare,ofcourse,butthegovernmentdoes,andtheyaremakingtheirarrangementsquietly。YouknowthataswellasIdo。’
’IrememberhowthepeoplecurseduswhenourtroopswithdrewfromOmdurman。Itwasboundtocropupsoonerorlater。ButIcan’tgo,’saidTorpenhow。Hepointedthroughtheopendoor;itwasahotnight。’Canyoublameme?’
TheKeneupurredabovehispipelikealargeandveryhappycat——
’Don’tblameyouintheleast。It’suncommonlygoodofyou,andalltherestofit,buteveryman——evenyou,Torp——mustconsiderhiswork。Iknowitsoundsbrutal,butDick’soutoftherace,——down,——gastadosexpended,finished,donefor。Hehasalittlemoneyofhisown。Hewon’tstarve,andyoucan’tpulloutofyourslideforhissake。Thinkofyourownreputation。’
’Dick’swasfivetimesbiggerthanmineandyoursputtogether。’
’Thatwasbecausehesignedhisnametoeverythinghedid。It’sallendednow。Youmustholdyourselfinreadinesstomoveout。Youcancommandyourownprices,andyoudobetterworkthananythreeofus。’
’Don’ttellmehowtemptingitis。I’llstayheretolookafterDickforawhile。He’sascheerfulasabearwithasorehead,butIthinkhelikestohavemenearhim。’
TheNilghaisaidsomethinguncomplimentaryaboutsoft—headedfoolswhothrowawaytheircareersforotherfools。Torpenhowflushedangrily。TheconstantstrainofattendanceonDickhadwornhisnervesthin。
’Thereremainsathirdfate,’saidtheKeneu,thoughtfully。’Considerthis,andbenotlargerfoolsthannecessary。Dickis——orratherwas——anable—bodiedmanofmoderateattractionsandacertainamountofaudacity。’
’Oho!’saidtheNilghai,whorememberedanaffairatCairo。’Ibegintosee,——Torp,I’msorry。’
Torpenhownoddedforgiveness:’Youweremoresorrywhenhecutyouout,though。——Goon,Keneu。’
’I’veoftenthought,whenI’veseenmendieoutinthedesert,thatifthenewscouldbesentthroughtheworld,andthemeansoftransportwerequickenough,therewouldbeonewomanatleastateachman’sbedside。’
’Therewouldbesomemightyquaintrevelations。Letusbegratefulthingsareastheyare,’saidtheNilghai。
’LetusratherreverentlyconsiderwhetherTorp’sthree—corneredministrationsareexactlywhatDickneedsjustnow。——Whatdoyouthinkyourself,Torp?’
’Iknowtheyaren’t。ButwhatcanIdo?’
’Laythematterbeforetheboard。WeareallDick’sfriendshere。You’vebeenmostinhislife。’
’ButIpickeditupwhenhewasoffhishead。’
’Thegreaterchanceofitsbeingtrue。Ithoughtweshouldarrive。Whoisshe?’
ThenTorpenhowtoldataleinplainwords,asaspecialcorrespondentwhoknowshowtomakeaverbalprecisshouldtellit。Themenlistenedwithoutinterruption。
’Isitpossiblethatamancancomebackacrosstheyearstohiscalf—love?’
saidtheKeneu。’Isitpossible?’
’Igivethefacts。Hesaysnothingaboutitnow,buthesitsfumblingthreelettersfromherwhenhethinksI’mnotlooking。WhatamItodo?’
’Speaktohim,’saidtheNilghai。
’Ohyes!Writetoher,——Idon’tknowherfullname,remember,——andaskhertoaccepthimoutofpity。IbelieveyouoncetoldDickyouweresorryforhim,Nilghai。Yourememberwhathappened,eh?GointothebedroomandsuggestfullconfessionandanappealtothisMaisiegirl,whoeversheis。Ihonestlybelievehe’dtrytokillyou;andtheblindnesshasmadehimrathermuscular。’
’Torpenhow’scourseisperfectlyclear,’saidtheKeneu。’HewillgotoVitry—sur—Marne,whichisontheBezieres—LandesRailway,——singletrackfromTourgas。ThePrussiansshelleditoutin’70becausetherewasapoplaronthetopofahilleighteenhundredyardsfromthechurchspireThere’sasquadronofcavalryquarteredthere,——oroughttobe。WherethisstudioTorpspokeaboutmaybeIcannottell。ThatisTorp’sbusiness。Ihavegivenhimhisroute。Hewilldispassionatelyexplainthesituationtothegirl,andshewillcomebacktoDick,——themoreespeciallybecause,touseDick’swords,"thereisnothingbutherdamnedobstinacytokeepthemapart。"’
’Andtheyhavefourhundredandtwentypoundsayearbetween’em。
Dickneverlosthisheadforfigures,eveninhisdelirium。Youhaven’ttheshadowofanexcusefornotgoing,’saidtheNilghai。
Torpenhowlookedveryuncomfortable。’Butit’sabsurdandimpossible。I
can’tdragherbackbythehair。’
’Ourbusiness——thebusinessforwhichwedrawourmoney——istodoabsurdandimpossiblethings,——generallywithnoreasonwhateverexcepttoamusethepublic。Herewehaveareason。Therestdoesn’tmatter。I
shallsharetheseroomswiththeNilghaitillTorpenhowreturns。Therewillbeabatchofunbridled"specials"comingtotowninalittlewhile,andthesewillserveastheirheadquarters。AnotherreasonforsendingTorpenhowaway。ThusProvidencehelpsthosewhohelpothers,and’——heretheKeneudroppedhismeasuredspeech——’wecan’thaveyoutiedbythelegtoDickwhenthetroublebegins。It’syouronlychanceofgettingaway;andDickwillbegrateful。’
’Hewill,——worseluck!Icanbutgoandtry。Ican’tconceiveawomaninhersensesrefusingDick。’
’Talkthatoutwiththegirl。IhaveseenyouwheedleanangryMahdiehwomanintogivingyoudates。Thiswon’tbeatitheasdifficult。Youhadbetternotbehereto—morrowafternoon,becausetheNilghaiandIwillbeinpossession。Itisanorder。Obey。’?
’Dick,’saidTorpenhow,nextmorning,’canIdoanythingforyou?’
’No!Leavemealone。HowoftenmustIremindyouthatI’mblind?’
’NothingIcouldgofortofetchfortocarryfortobring?’
’No。Takethoseinfernalcreakingbootsofyoursaway。’
’Poorchap!’saidTorpenhowtohimself。’Imusthavebeensittingonhisnerveslately。Hewantsalighterstep。’Then,aloud,’Verywell。Sinceyou’resoindependent,I’mgoingoffforfourorfivedays。Saygood—byeatleast。Thehousekeeperwilllookafteryou,andKeneuhasmyrooms。’
Dick’sfacefell。’Youwon’tbelongerthanaweekattheoutside?IknowI’mtouchedinthetemper,butIcan’tgetonwithoutyou。’
’Can’tyou?You’llhavetodowithoutmeinalittletime,andyou’llbegladI’mgone。’
Dickfelthiswaybacktothebigchair,andwonderedwhatthesethingsmightmean。Hedidnotwishtobetendedbythehousekeeper,andyetTorpenhow’sconstanttendernessjarredonhim。Hedidnotexactlyknowwhathewanted。Thedarknesswouldnotlift,andMaisie’sunopenedlettersfeltwornandoldfrommuchhandling。Hecouldneverreadthemforhimselfaslongaslifeendured;butMaisiemighthavesenthimsomefreshonestoplaywith。TheNilghaienteredwithagift,——apieceofredmodelling—wax。HefanciedthatDickmightfindinterestinusinghishands。Dickpokedandpattedthestuffforafewminutes,and,’Isitlikeanythingintheworld?’hesaiddrearily。’Takeitaway。Imaygetthetouchoftheblindinfiftyyears。DoyouknowwhereTorpenhowhasgone?’
TheNilghaiknewnothing。’We’restayinginhisroomstillhecomesback。Canwedoanythingforyou?’
’I’dliketobeleftalone,please。Don’tthinkI’mungrateful;butI’mbestalone。’
TheNilghaichuckled,andDickresumedhisdrowsybroodingandsullenrebellionagainstfate。Hehadlongsinceceasedtothinkabouttheworkhehaddoneintheolddays,andthedesiretodomoreworkhaddepartedfromhim。Hewasexceedinglysorryforhimself,andthecompletenessofhistendergriefsoothedhim。ButhissoulandhisbodycriedforMaisie——Maisiewhowouldunderstand。HismindpointedoutthatMaisie,havingherownworktodo,wouldnotcare。Hisexperiencehadtaughthimthatwhenmoneywasexhaustedwomenwentaway,andthatwhenamanwasknockedoutoftheracetheotherstrampledonhim。’Thenattheleast,’saidDick,inreply,’shecouldusemeasIusedBinat,——forsomesortofastudy。Iwouldn’taskmorethantobenearheragain,eventhoughIknewthatanothermanwasmakinglovetoher。Ugh!whatadogIam!’
Avoiceonthestaircasebegantosingjoyfully——
’Whenwego——go——goawayfromhere,Ourcreditorswillweepandtheywillwail,Ourabsencemuchregrettingwhentheyfindthatthey’vebeengettingOutofEnglandbynextTuesday’sIndianmail。’?
Followingthetramplingoffeet,slammingofTorpenhow’sdoor,andthesoundofvoicesinstrenuousdebate,someonesqueaked,’Andsee,yougoodfellows,Ihavefoundanewwater—bottle——firs’—classpatent——eh,howyousay?Openhimselfinsideout。’
Dicksprangtohisfeet。Heknewthevoicewell。’That’sCassavetti,comebackfromtheContinent。NowIknowwhyTorpwentaway。There’sarowsomewhere,and——I’moutofit!’
TheNilghaicommandedsilenceinvain。’That’sformysake,’Dicksaidbitterly。’Thebirdsaregettingreadytofly,andtheywouldn’ttellme。I
canhearMorten—SutherlandandMackaye。HalftheWarCorrespondentsinLondonarethere;——andI’moutofit。’
HestumbledacrossthelandingandplungedintoTorpenhow’sroom。Hecouldfeelthatitwasfullofmen。’Where’sthetrouble?’saidhe。’IntheBalkansatlast?Whydidn’tsomeonetellme?’
’Wethoughtyouwouldn’tbeinterested,’saidtheNilghai,shamefacedly。
’It’sintheSoudan,asusual。’
’Youluckydogs!Letmesitherewhileyoutalk。Ishan’tbeaskeletonatthefeast。——Cassavetti,whereareyou?YourEnglishisasbadasever。’
Dickwasledintoachair。Heheardtherustleofthemaps,andthetalksweptforward,carryinghimwithit。Everybodyspokeatonce,discussingpresscensorships,railway—routes,transport,water—supply,thecapacitiesofgenerals,——theseinlanguagethatwouldhavehorrifiedatrustingpublic,——rangint,asserting,denouncing,andlaughingatthetopoftheirvoices。TherewasthegloriouscertaintyofwarintheSoudanatanymoment。TheNilghaisaidso,anditwaswelltobeinreadiness。TheKeneuhadtelegraphedtoCairoforhorses;Cassavettihadstolenaperfectlyinaccuratelistoftroopsthatwouldbeorderedforward,andwasreadingitoutamidprofaneinterruptions,andtheKeneuintroducedtoDicksomemanunknownwhowouldbeemployedaswarartistbytheCentralSouthernSyndicate。’It’shisfirstouting,’saidtheKeneu。’Givehimsometips——aboutridingcamels。’
’Oh,thosecamels!’groanedCassavetti。’Ishalllearntoridehimagain,andnowIamsomuchallsoft!Listen,yougoodfellows。Iknowyourmilitaryarrangementverywell。TherewillgotheRoyalArgalshireSutherlanders。Soitwasreadtomeuponbestauthority。’
Aroaroflaughterinterruptedhim。
’Sitdown,’saidtheNilghai。’Thelistsaren’tevenmadeoutintheWarOffice。’
’WilltherebeanyforceatSuakin?’aidavoice。
Thentheoutcriesredoubled,andgrewmixed,thus:’HowmanyEgyptiantroopswilltheyuse?——GodhelptheFellaheen!——There’sarailwayinPlumsteadmarshesdoingdutyasafives—court。——WeshallhavetheSuakin—Berberlinebuiltatlast。——Canadianvoyageursaretoocareful。Givemeahalf—drunkKroomaninawhale—boat。——WhocommandstheDesertcolumn?——No,theyneverblewupthebigrockintheGhinehbend。Weshallhavetobehauledup,asusual。——Somebodytellmeifthere’sanIndiancontingent,orI’llbreakeverybody’shead。——Don’ttearthemapintwo。——It’sawarofoccupation,Itellyou,toconnectwiththeAfricancompaniesintheSouth。——There’sGuinea—worminmostofthewellsonthatroute。’ThentheNilghai,despairingofpeace,bellowedlikeafog—hornandbeatuponthetablewithbothhands。
’ButwhatbecomesofTorpenhow?’saidDick,inthesilencethatfollowed。
’Torp’sinabeyancejustnow。He’sofflove—makingsomewhere,I
suppose,’saidtheNilghai。
’Hesaidhewasgoingtostayathome,’saidtheKeneu。
’Ishe?’saidDick,withanoath。’Hewon’t。I’mnotmuchgoodnow,butifyouandtheNilghaiholdhimdownI’llengagetotrampleonhimtillheseesreason。He’llstaybehind,indeed!He’sthebestofyouall。There’llbesometoughworkbyOmdurman。Weshallcometheretostay,thistime。
ButIforgot。IwishIweregoingwithyou。’
’Sodoweall,Dickie,’saidtheKeneu。
’AndImostofall,’saidthenewartistoftheCentralSouthernSyndicate。
’Couldyoutellme————’
’I’llgiveyouonepieceofadvice,’Dickanswered,movingtowardsthedoor。’Ifyouhappentobecutovertheheadinascrimmage,don’tguard。
Tellthemantogooncutting。You’llfinditcheapestintheend。Thanksforlettingmelookin。’
’There’sgritinDick,’saidtheNilghai,anhourlater,whentheroomwasemptiedofallsavetheKeneu。
’Itwasthesacredcallofthewar—trumpet。Didyounoticehowheansweredtoit?Poorfellow!Let’slookathim,’saidtheKeneu。
Theexcitementofthetalkhaddiedaway。Dickwassittingbythestudiotable,withhisheadonhisarms,whenthemencamein。Hedidnotchangehisposition。
’Ithurts,’hemoaned。’Godforgiveme,butithurtscruelly;andyet,y’know,theworldhasaknackofspinningroundallbyitself。ShallIseeTorpbeforehegoes?’
’Oh,yes。You’llseehim,’saidtheNilghai。
CHAPTERXIII
Thesunwentdownanhourago,IwonderifIfacetowardshome;
IfIlostmywayinthelightofdayHowshallIfinditnownightiscome?
——OldSong。?
’MAISIE,cometobed。’
’It’ssohotIcan’tsleep。Don’tworry。’
Maisieputherelbowsonthewindow—sillandlookedatthemoonlightonthestraight,poplar—flankedroad。SummerhadcomeuponVitry—sur—Marneandparchedittothebone。Thegrasswasdry—burntinthemeadows,theclaybythebankoftheriverwascakedtobrick,theroadsideflowerswerelongsincedead,andtherosesinthegardenhungwitheredontheirstalks。Theheatinthelittlelowbedroomundertheeaveswasalmostintolerable。TheverymoonlightonthewallofKami’sstudioacrosstheroadseemedtomakethenighthotter,andtheshadowofthebigbell—handlebytheclosedgatecastabarofinkyblackthatcaughtMaisie’seyeandannoyedher。
’Horridthing!Itshouldbeallwhite,’shemurmured。’Andthegateisn’tinthemiddleofthewall,either。Inevernoticedthatbefore。’
Maisiewashardtopleaseatthathour。First,theheatofthepastfewweekshadwornherdown;secondly,herwork,andparticularlythestudyofafemaleheadintendedtorepresenttheMelancoliaandnotfinishedintimefortheSalon,wasunsatisfactory;thirdly,Kamihadsaidasmuchtwodaysbefore;fourthly,——butsocompletelyfourthlythatitwashardlyworththinkingabout,——Dick,herproperty,hadnotwrittentoherformorethansixweeks。Shewasangrywiththeheat,withKami,andwithherwork,butshewasexceedinglyangrywithDick。
Shehadwrittentohimthreetimes,——eachtimeproposingafreshtreatmentofherMelancolia。Dickhadtakennonoticeofthesecommunications。Shehadresolvedtowritenomore。WhenshereturnedtoEnglandintheautumn——forherpride’ssakeshecouldnotreturnearlier——shewouldspeaktohim。ShemissedtheSundayafternoonconferencesmorethanshecaredtoadmit。AllthatKamisaidwas,’Continuez,mademoiselle,continueztoujours,’andhehadbeenrepeatingthewearisomecounselthroughthehotsummer,exactlylikeacicada,——anoldgraycicadainablackalpacacoat,whitetrousers,andahugefelthat。
ButDickhadtrampedmasterfullyupanddownherlittlestudionorthofthecoolgreenLondonpark,andhadsaidthingstentimesworsethancontinuez,beforehesnatchedthebrushoutofherhandandshowedherwheretheerrorlay。Hislastletter,Maisieremembered,containedsometrivialadviceaboutnotsketchinginthesunordrinkingwateratwaysidefarmhouses;andhehadsaidthatnotonce,butthreetimes,——asifhedidnotknowthatMaisiecouldtakecareofherself。
Butwhatwashedoing,thathecouldnottroubletowrite?Amurmurofvoicesintheroadmadeherleanfromthewindow。AcavalrymanofthelittlegarrisoninthetownwastalkingtoKami’scook。Themoonlightglitteredonthescabbardofhissabre,whichhewasholdinginhishandlestitshouldclankinopportunely。Thecook’scapcastdeepshadowsonherface,whichwasclosetotheconscript’s。Heslidhisarmroundherwaist,andtherefollowedthesoundofakiss。
’Faugh!’saidMaisie,steppingback。
’What’sthat?’saidthered—hairedgirl,whowastossinguneasilyoutsideherbed。
’Onlyaconscriptkissingthecook,’saidMaisie。
’They’vegoneawaynow。’Sheleanedoutofthewindowagain,andputashawloverhernightgowntoguardagainstchills。Therewasaverysmallnight—breezeabroad,andasun—bakedrosebelownoddeditsheadasonewhoknewunutterablesecrets。WasitpossiblethatDickshouldturnhisthoughtsfromherworkandhisownanddescendtothedegradationofSuzanneandtheconscript?Hecouldnot!Therosenoddeditsheadandoneleaftherewith。Itlookedlikeanaughtylittledevilscratchingitsear。
Dickcouldnot,’because,’thoughtMaisie,’heismind,——mine,——mine。Hesaidhewas。I’msureIdon’tcarewhathedoes。Itwillonlyspoilhisworkifhedoes;anditwillspoilminetoo。’
Therosecontinuedtonoditthefutilewaypeculiartoflowers。TherewasnoearthlyreasonwhyDickshouldnotdisporthimselfashechose,exceptthathewascalledbyProvidence,whichwasMaisie,toassistMaisieinherwork。AndherworkwasthepreparationofpicturesthatwentsometimestoEnglishprovincialexhibitions,asthenoticesinthescrap—bookproved,andthatwereinvariablyrejectedbytheSalonwhenKamiwasplaguedintoallowinghertosendthemup。Herworkinthefuture,itseemed,wouldbethepreparationofpicturesonexactlysimilarlineswhichwouldberejectedinexactlythesameway—