首页 >出版文学> The Light That Failed>第5章
  ’Comehereaminute,oldman。I’mintrouble’——’Heavensendhe’lllistentome!’TherewassomethingverylikeanoathfromBessie’slips。ShewasafraidofDick,anddisappeareddownthestaircaseinpanic,butitseemedanagebeforeTorpenhowenteredthestudio。Hewenttothemantelpiece,buriedhisheadonhisarms,andgroanedlikeawoundedbull。
  ’Whatthedevilrighthaveyoutointerfere?’hesaid,atlast。
  ’Who’sinterferingwithwhich?Yourownsensetoldyoulongagoyoucouldn’tbesuchafool。Itwasatoughrack,St。Anthony,butyou’reallrightnow。’
  ’Ioughtn’ttohaveseenhermovingabouttheseroomsasiftheybelongedtoher。That’swhatupsetme。Itgivesalonelymanasortofhankering,doesn’tit?’saidTorpenhow,piteously。
  ’Nowyoutalksense。Itdoes。But,sinceyouaren’tinaconditiontodiscussthedisadvantagesofdoublehousekeeping,doyouknowwhatyou’regoingtodo?’
  ’Idon’t。IwishIdid。’
  ’You’regoingawayforaseasononabrillianttourtoregaintone。You’regoingtoBrighton,orScarborough,orPrawlePoint,toseetheshipsgoby。Andyou’regoingatonce。Isn’titodd?I’lltakecareofBinkie,butoutyougoimmediately。Neverresistthedevil。Heholdsthebank。Flyfromhim。Packyourthingsandgo。’
  ’Ibelieveyou’reright。WhereshallIgo?’
  ’Andyoucallyourselfaspecialcorrespondent!Packfirstandinquireafterwards。’
  AnhourlaterTorpenhowwasdespatchedintothenightforahansom。
  ’You’llprobablythinkofsomeplacetogotowhileyou’removing,’saidDick。’OntoEuston,tobeginwith,and——ohyes——getdrunkto—night。’
  Hereturnedtothestudio,andlightedmorecandles,forhefoundtheroomverydark。
  ’Oh,youJezebel!youfutilelittleJezebel!Won’tyouhatemeto—morrow!——Binkie,comehere。’
  Binkieturnedoveronhisbackonthehearth—rug,andDickstirredhimwithameditativefoot。
  ’Isaidshewasnotimmoral。Iwaswrong。Shesaidshecouldcook。Thatshowedpremeditatedsin。Oh,Binkie,ifyouareamanyouwillgotoperdition;butifyouareawoman,andsaythatyoucancook,youwillgotoamuchworseplace。’?
  CHAPTERX
  What’syouthatfollowsatmyside?——
  Thefoethatyemustfight,mylord。——
  ThathirplesswiftasIcanride?——
  Theshadowofthenight,mylord。——
  Thenwheelmyhorseagainstthefoe!——
  He’sdownandoverpast,mylord。
  Yewaragainstthesunsetglow;
  Thedarknessgathersfast,mylord。
  ——TheFightofHeriot’sFord。?
  ’THISisacheerfullife,’saidDick,somedayslater。’Torp’saway;Bessiehatesme;Ican’tgetatthenotionoftheMelancolia;Maisie’slettersarescrappy;andIbelieveIhaveindigestion。Whatgiveamanpainsacrosstheheadandspotsbeforehiseyes,Binkie?Shallustakesomeliverpills?’
  DickhadjustgonethroughalivelyscenewithBessie。ShehadforthefiftiethtimereproachedhimforsendingTorpenhowaway。SheexplainedherenduringhatredforDick,andmadeitcleartohimthatsheonlysatforthesakeofhismoney。’AndMr。Torpenhow’stentimesabettermanthanyou,’sheconcluded。
  ’Heis。That’swhyhewentaway。Ishouldhavestayedandmadelovetoyou。’
  Thegirlsatwithherchinonherhand,scowling。’Tome!I’dliketocatchyou!IfIwasn’tafraido’beinghungI’dkillyou。That’swhatI’ddo。
  D’youbelieveme?’
  Dicksmiledwearily。Itisnotpleasanttoliveinthecompanyofanotionthatwillnotworkout,afox—terrierthatcannottalk,andawomanwhotalkstoomuch。Hewouldhaveanswered,butatthatmomentthereunrolleditselffromonecornerofthestudioaveil,asitwere,oftheflimsiestgauze。Herubbedhiseyes,butthegrayhazewouldnotgo。
  ’Thisisdisgracefulindigestion。Binkie,wewillgotoamedicine—man。Wecan’thaveoureyesinterferedwith,forbythesewegetourbread;alsomutton—chopbonesforlittledogs。’
  Thedoctorwasanaffablelocalpractitionerwithwhitehair,andhesaidnothingtillDickbegantodescribethegrayfilminthestudio。
  ’Weallwantalittlepatchingandrepairingfromtimetotime,’hechirped。’Likeaship,mydearsir,——exactlylikeaship。Sometimesthehullisoutoforder,andweconsultthesurgeon;sometimestherigging,andthenIadvise;sometimestheengines,andwegotothebrain—specialist;
  sometimesthelook—outonthebridgeistired,andthenweseeanoculist。I
  shouldrecommendyoutoseeanoculist。Alittlepatchingandrepairingfromtimetotimeisallwewant。Anoculist,byallmeans。’
  Dicksoughtanoculist,——thebestinLondon。Hewascertainthatthelocalpractitionerdidnotknowanythingabouthistrade,andmorecertainthatMaisiewouldlaughathimifhewereforcedtowearspectacles。
  ’I’veneglectedthewarningsofmylordthestomachtoolong。Hencethesespotsbeforetheeyes,Binkie。IcanseeaswellasIevercould。’
  Asheenteredthedarkhallthatledtotheconsulting—roomamancannonedagainsthim。Dicksawthefaceasithurriedoutintothestreet。
  ’That’sthewriter—type。HehasthesamemodellingoftheforeheadasTorp。Helooksverysick。Probablyheardsomethinghedidn’tlike。’
  Evenashethought,agreatfearcameuponDick,afearthatmadehimholdhisbreathashewalkedintotheoculist’swaitingroom,withtheheavycarvedfurniture,thedark—greenpaper,andthesober—huedprintsonthewall。Herecognisedareproductionofoneofhisownsketches。
  Manypeoplewerewaitingtheirturnbeforehim。Hiseyewascaughtbyaflamingred—and—goldChristmas—carolbook。Littlechildrencametothateye—doctor,andtheyneededlarge—typeamusement。
  ’That’sidolatrousbadArt,’hesaid,drawingthebooktowardshimself。
  ’Fromtheanatomyoftheangels,ithasbeenmadeinGermany。’Heopenedinmechanically,andthereleapedtohiseyesaverseprintedinredink——
  ThenextgoodjoythatMaryhad,Itwasthejoyofthree,ToseehergoodSonJesusChristMakingtheblindtosee;
  Makingtheblindtosee,goodLord,Andhappywemaybe。
  PraiseFather,Son,andHolyGhostToalleternity!?
  Dickreadandre—readtheversetillhisturncame,andthedoctorwasbendingabovehimseatedinanarm—chair。Theblazeofthegas—microscopeinhiseyesmadehimwince。Thedoctor’shandtouchedthescarofthesword—cutonDick’shead,andDickexplainedbrieflyhowhehadcomebyit。Whentheflamewasremoved,Dicksawthedoctor’sface,andthefearcameuponhimagain。Thedoctorwrappedhimselfinamistofwords。Dickcaughtallusionsto’scar,’’frontalbone,’’opticnerve,’’extremecaution,’andthe’avoidanceofmentalanxiety。’
  ’Verdict?’hesaidfaintly。’Mybusinessispainting,andIdaren’twastetime。Whatdoyoumakeofit?’
  Againthewhirlofwords,butthistimetheyconveyedameaning。
  ’Canyougivemeanythingtodrink?’
  Manysentenceswerepronouncedinthatdarkenedroom,andtheprisonersoftenneededcheering。Dickfoundaglassofliqueurbrandyinhishand。
  ’AsfarasIcangather,’hesaid,coughingabovethespirit,’youcallitdecayoftheopticnerve,orsomething,andthereforehopeless。Whatismytime—limit,avoidingallstrainandworry?’
  ’Perhapsoneyear。’
  ’MyGod!AndifIdon’ttakecareofmyself?’
  ’Ireallycouldnotsay。Onecannotascertaintheexactamountofinjuryinflictedbythesword—cut。Thescarisanoldone,and——exposuretothestronglightofthedesert,didyousay?——withexcessiveapplicationtofinework?Ireallycouldnotsay?’
  ’Ibegyourpardon,butithascomewithoutanywarning。Ifyouwillletme,I’llsithereforaminute,andthenI’llgo。Youhavebeenverygoodintellingmethetruth。Withoutanywarning;withoutanywarning。
  Thanks。’
  Dickwentintothestreet,andwasrapturouslyreceivedbyBinkie。
  ’We’vegotitverybadly,littledog!Justasbadlyaswecangetit。We’llgototheParktothinkitout。’
  TheyheadedforacertaintreethatDickknewwell,andtheysatdowntothin,becausehislegsweretremblingunderhimandtherewascoldfearatthepitofhisstomach。
  ’Howcouldithavecomewithoutanywarning?It’sassuddenasbeingshot。It’sthelivingdeath,Binkie。We’retobeshutupinthedarkinoneyearifwe’recareful,andweshan’tseeanybody,andweshallneverhaveanythingwewant,notthoughwelivetobeahundred!’Binkiewaggedhistailjoyously。’Binkie,wemustthink。Let’sseehowitfeelstobeblind。’Dickshuthiseyes,andflamingcommasandCatherine—wheelsfloatedinsidethelids。YetwhenhelookedacrosstheParkthescopeofhisvisionwasnotcontracted。Hecouldseeperfectly,untilaprocessionofslow—wheelingfireworksdefiledacrosshiseyeballs。
  ’Littledorglums,wearen’tatallwell。Let’sgohome。IfonlyTorpwereback,now!’
  ButTorpenhowwasinthesouthofEngland,inspectingdockyardsinthecompanyoftheNilghai。Hisletterswerebriefandfullofmystery。
  Dickhadneveraskedanybodytohelphiminhisjoysorhissorrows。Heargued,inthelonelinessofhisstudio,henceforwardtobedecoratedwithafilmofgraygauzeinonecorner,that,ifhisfatewereblindness,alltheTorpenhowsintheworldcouldnotsavehim。’Ican’tcallhimoffhistriptositdownandsympathisewithme。Imustpullthroughthisbusinessalone,’hesaid。Hewaslyingonthesofa,eatinghismoustacheandwonderingwhatthedarknessofthenightwouldbelike。ThencametohismindthememoryofaquaintsceneintheSoudan。Asoldierhadbeennearlyhackedintwobyabroad—bladedArabspear。Foroneinstantthemanfeltnopain。Lookingdown,hesawthathislife—bloodwasgoingfromhim。ThestupidbewildermentonhisfacewassointenselycomicthatbothDickandTorpenhow,stillpantingandunstrungfromafightforlife,hadroaredwithlaughter,inwhichthemanseemedasifhewouldjoin,but,ashislipspartedinasheepishgrin,theagonyofdeathcameuponhim,andhepitchedgruntingattheirfeet。Dicklaughedagain,rememberingthehorror。Itseemedsoexactlylikehisowncase。
  ’ButIhavealittlemoretimeallowedme,’hesaid。Hepacedupanddowntheroom,quietlyatfirst,butafterwardswiththehurriedfeetoffear。Itwasasthoughablackshadowstoodathiselbowandurgedhimtogoforward;andtherewereonlyweavingcirclesandfloatingpin—dotsbeforehiseyes。
  ’Weneedtobecalm,Binkie;wemustbecalm。’Hetalkedaloudforthesakeofdistraction。’Thisisn’tniceatall。Whatshallwedo?Wemustdosomething。Ourtimeisshort。Ishouldn’thavebelievedthatthismorning;
  butnowthingsaredifferent。Binkie,wherewasMoseswhenthelightwentout?’
  Binkiesmiledfromeartoear,asawell—bredterriershould,butmadenosuggestion。
  ’"Weretherebutworldenoughandtime,Thiscoyness,Binkie,werenotcrime……ButatmybackIalwayshear————"’Hewipedhisforehead,whichwasunpleasantlydamp。’WhatcanIdo?WhatcanIdo?Ihaven’tanynotionsleft,andIcan’tthinkconnectedly,butImustdosomething,orIshallgooffmyhead。’
  Thehurriedwalkrecommenced,Dickstoppingeverynowandagaintodragforthlong—neglectedcanvasesandoldnote—books;forheturnedtohisworkbyinstinct,asathingthatcouldnotfail。’Youwon’tdo,andyouwon’tdo,’hesaid,ateachinspection。’Nomoresoldiers。Icouldn’tpaint’em。Suddendeathcomeshometoonearly,andthisisbattleandmurderforme。’
  Thedaywasfailing,andDickthoughtforamomentthatthetwilightoftheblindhadcomeuponhimunaware。’AllahAlmighty!’hecrieddespairingly,’helpmethroughthetimeofwaiting,andIwon’twhinewhenmypunishmentcomes。WhatcanIdonow,beforethelightgoes?’
  Therewasnoanswer。Dickwaitedtillhecouldregainsomesortofcontroloverhimself。Hishandswereshaking,andhepridedhimselfontheirsteadiness;hecouldfeelthathislipswerequivering,andthesweatwasrunningdownhisface。Hewaslashedbyfear,drivenforwardbythedesiretogettoworkatonceandaccomplishsomething,andmaddenedbytherefusalofhisbraintodomorethanrepeatthenewsthathewasabouttogoblind。’It’sahumiliatingexhibition,’hethought,’andI’mgladTorpisn’theretosee。ThedoctorsaidIwastoavoidmentalworry。
  Comehereandletmepetyou,Binkie。’
  ThelittledogyelpedbecauseDicknearlysqueezedthebarkoutofhim。
  Thenheheardthemanspeakinginthetwilight,and,doglike,understoodthathistroublestoodofffromhim——
  ’Allahisgood,Binkie。Notquitesogentleaswecouldwish,butwe’lldiscussthatlater。IthinkIseemywaytoitnow。AllthosestudiesofBessie’sheadwerenonsense,andtheynearlybroughtyourmasterintoascrape。Iholdthenotionnowasclearascrystal,——"theMelancoliathattranscendsallwit。"ThereshallbeMaisieinthathead,becauseIshallnevergetMaisie;andBess,ofcourse,becausesheknowsallaboutMelancolia,thoughshedoesn’tknowsheknows;andthereshallbesomedrawinginit,anditshallallendupwithalaugh。That’sformyself。Shallshegiggleorgrin?No,sheshalllaughrightoutofthecanvas,andeverymanandwomanthateverhadasorrowoftheirownshall——whatisitthepoemsays?——
  ’UnderstandthespeechandfeelastirOffellowshipinalldisastrousfight。
  "Inalldisastrousfight"?That’sbetterthanpaintingthethingmerelytopiqueMaisie。IcandoitnowbecauseIhaveitinsideme。Binkie,I’mgoingtoholdyouupbyyourtail。You’reanomen。Comehere。’
  Binkieswungheaddownwardforamomentwithoutspeaking。
  ’Ratherlikeholdingaguinea—pig;butyou’reabravelittledog,andyoudon’tyelpwhenyou’rehungup。Itisanomen。’
  Binkiewenttohisownchair,andasoftenashelookedsawDickwalkingupanddown,rubbinghishandsandchuckling。ThatnightDickwrotealettertoMaisiefullofthetenderestregardforherhealth,butsayingverylittleabouthisown,anddreamedoftheMelancoliatobeborn。Nottillmorningdidherememberthatsomethingmighthappentohiminthefuture。
  Hefelltowork,whistlingsoftly,andwasswallowedupintheclean,clearjoyofcreation,whichdoesnotcometomantoooften,lestheshouldconsiderhimselftheequalofhisGod,andsorefusetodieattheappointedtime。HeforgotMaisie,Torpenhow,andBinkieathisfeet,butrememberedtostirBessie,whoneededverylittlestirring,intoatremendousrage,thathemightwatchthesmoulderinglightsinhereyes。
  Hethrewhimselfwithoutreservationintohiswork,anddidnotthinkofthedoomthatwastoovertakehim,forhewaspossessedwithhisnotion,andthethingsofthisworldhadnopoweruponhim。
  ’You’repleasedto—day,’saidBessie。
  Dickwavedhismahl—stickinmysticcirclesandwenttothesideboardforadrink。Intheevening,whentheexaltationofthedayhaddieddown,hewenttothesideboardagain,andaftersomevisitsbecameconvincedthattheeye—doctorwasaliar,sincehecouldstillseeeverythingveryclearly。
  HewasofopinionthathewouldevenmakeahomeforMaisie,andthatwhethershelikeditornotsheshouldbehiswife。Themoodpassednextmorning,butthesideboardandalluponitremainedforhiscomfort。
  Againhesettowork,andhiseyestroubledhimwithspotsanddashesandblurstillhehadtakencounselwiththesideboard,andtheMelancoliabothonthecanvasandinhisownmindappearedlovelierthanever。Therewasadelightfulsenseofirresponsibilityuponhim,suchastheyfeelwhowalkingamongtheirfellow—menknowthatthedeath—sentenceofdiseaseisuponthem,and,seeingthatfearisbutwasteofthelittletimeleft,areriotouslyhappy。Thedayspassedwithoutevent。
  Bessiearrivedpunctuallyalways,and,thoughhervoiceseemedtoDicktocomefromadistance,herfacewasalwaysverynear。TheMelancoliabegantoflameonthecanvas,inthelikenessofawomanwhohadknownallthesorrowintheworldandwaslaughingatit。Itwastruethatthecornersofthestudiodrapedthemselvesingrayfilmandretiredintothedarkness,thatthespotsinhiseyesandthepainsacrosshisheadwereverytroublesome,andthatMaisie’sletterswerehardtoreadandharderstilltoanswer。Hecouldnottellherofhistrouble,andhecouldnotlaughatheraccountsofherownMelancoliawhichwasalwaysgoingtobefinished。Butthefuriousdaysoftoilandthenightsofwilddreamsmadeamendsforall,andthesideboardwashisbestfriendonearth。
  Bessiewassingularlydull。SheusedtoshriekwithragewhenDickstaredatherbetweenhalf—closedeyes。Nowshesulked,orwatchedhimwithdisgust,sayingverylittle。
  Torpenhowhadbeenabsentforsixweeks。Anincoherentnoteheraldedhisreturn。’News!greatnews!’hewrote。’TheNilghaiknows,andsodoestheKeneu。We’reallbackonThursday。Getlunchandcleanyouraccoutrements。’
  DickshowedBessietheletter,andsheabusedhimforthathehadeversentTorpenhowawayandruinedherlife。
  ’Well,’saidDick,brutally,’you’rebetterasyouare,insteadofmakinglovetosomedrunkenbeastinthestreet。’HefeltthathehadrescuedTorpenhowfromgreattemptation。
  ’Idon’tknowifthat’sanyworsethansittingtoadrunkenbeastinastudio。Youhaven’tbeensoberforthreeweeks。You’vebeensoakingthewholetime;andyetyoupretendyou’rebetterthanme!’
  ’Whatd’youmean?’saidDick。
  ’Mean!You’llseewhenMr。Torpenhowcomesback。’
  Itwasnotlongtowait。TorpenhowmetBessieonthestaircasewithoutasignoffeeling。HehadnewsthatwasmoretohimthanmanyBessies,andtheKeneuandtheNilghaiweretramplingbehindhim,callingforDick。
  ’Drinkinglikeafish,’Bessiewhispered。’He’sbeenatitfornearlyamonth。’Shefollowedthemenstealthilytohearjudgmentdone。
  Theycameintothestudio,rejoicing,tobewelcomedovereffusivelybyadrawn,lined,shrunken,haggardwreck,——unshaven,blue—whiteaboutthenostrils,stoopingintheshoulders,andpeeringunderhiseyebrowsnervously。ThedrinkhadbeenatworkassteadilyasDick。
  ’Isthisyou?’saidTorpenhow。
  ’Allthat’sleftofme。Sitdown。Binkie’squitewell,andI’vebeendoingsomegoodwork。’Hereeledwherehestood。
  ’You’vedonesomeoftheworstworkyou’veeverdoneinyourlife。Manalive,you’re————’
  Torpenhowturnedtohiscompanionsappealingly,andtheylefttheroomtofindlunchelsewhere。Thenhespoke;but,sincethereproofofafriendismuchtoosacredandintimateathingtobeprinted,andsinceTorpenhowusedfiguresandmetaphorswhichwereunseemly,andcontemptuntranslatable,itwillneverbeknownwhatwasactuallysaidtoDick,whoblinkedandwinkedandpickedathishands。Afteratimetheculpritbegantofeeltheneedofalittleself—respect。Hewasquitesurethathehadnotinanywaydepartedfromvirtue,andtherewerereasons,too,ofwhichTorpenhowknewnothing。Hewouldexplain。
  Herose,triedtostraightenhisshoulders,andspoketothefacehecouldhardlysee。
  ’Youareright,’hesaid。’ButIamright,too。AfteryouwentawayIhadsometroublewithmyeyes。SoIwenttoanoculist,andheturnedagasogene——Imeanagas—engine——intomyeye。Thatwasverylongago。Hesaid,"Scaronthehead,——sword—cutandopticnerve。"Makeanoteofthat。SoIamgoingblind。IhavesomeworktodobeforeIgoblind,andI
  supposethatImustdoit。Icannotseemuchnow,butIcanseebestwhenIamdrunk。IdidnotknowIwasdrunktillIwastold,butImustgoonwithmywork。Ifyouwanttoseeit,thereitis。’HepointedtotheallbutfinishedMelancoliaandlookedforapplause。
  Torpenhowsaidnothing,andDickbegantowhimperfeebly,forjoyatseeingTorpenhowagain,forgriefatmisdeeds——ifindeedtheyweremisdeeds——thatmadeTorpenhowremoteandunsympathetic,andforchildishvanityhurt,sinceTorpenhowhadnotgivenawordofpraisetohiswonderfulpicture。
  Bessielookedthroughthekeyholeafteralongpause,andsawthetwowalkingupanddownasusual,Torpenhow’shandonDick’sshoulder。
  HereatshesaidsomethingsoimproperthatitshockedevenBinkie,whowasdribblingpatientlyonthelandingwiththehopeofseeinghismasteragain。
  CHAPTERXI
  ThelarkwillmakeherhymntoGod,Thepartridgecallherbrood,WhileIforgettheheathItrod,ThefieldswhereinIstood。
  ’Tisduletoknownotnightfrommorn,ButdeeperduletoknowIcanbuthearthehunter’shornThatonceIusedtoblow。——TheOnlySon。?
  ITWASthethirddayafterTorpenhow’sreturn,andhisheartwasheavy。
  ’Doyoumeantotellmethatyoucan’tseetoworkwithoutwhiskey?It’sgenerallytheotherwayabout。’
  ’Canadrunkardswearonhishonour?’saidDick。
  ’Yes,ifhehasbeenasgodamanasyou。’
  ’ThenIgiveyoumywordofhonour,’saidDick,speakinghurriedlythroughparchedlips。’Oldman,Icanhardlyseeyourfacenow。You’vekeptmesoberfortwodays,——ifIeverwasdrunk,——andI’vedonenowork。
  Don’tkeepmebackanymore。Idon’tknowwhenmyeyesmaygiveout。
  Thespotsanddotsandthepainsandthingsarecrowdingworsethanever。IswearIcanseeallrightwhenI’m——whenI’mmoderatelyscrewed,asyousay。GivemethreemoresittingsfromBessieandall——thestuffI
  want,andthepicturewillbedone。Ican’tkillmyselfinthreedays。ItonlymeansatouchofD。T。attheworst。’
  ’IfIgiveyouthreedaysmorewillyoupromisemetostopworkand——theotherthing,whetherthepicture’sfinishedornot?’
  ’Ican’t。Youdon’tknowwhatthatpicturemeanstome。ButsurelyyoucouldgettheNilghaitohelpyou,andknockmedownandtiemeup。I
  shouldn’tfightforthewhiskey,butIshouldforthework。’
  ’Goon,then。Igiveyouthreedays;butyou’renearlybreakingmyheart。’
  Dickreturnedtohiswork,toilingasonepossessed;andtheyellowdevilofwhiskeystoodbyhimandchasedawaythespotsinhiseyes。TheMelancoliawasnearlyfinished,andwasallornearlyallthathehadhopedshewouldbe。DickjestedwithBessie,whoremindedhimthathewas’adrunkenbeast’;butthereproofdidnotmovehim。
  ’Youcan’tunderstand,Bess。Weareinsightoflandnow,andsoonweshallliebackandthinkaboutwhatwe’vedone。I’llgiveyouthreemonths’paywhenthepicture’sfinished,andnexttimeIhaveanymoreworkinhand——butthatdoesn’tmatter。Won’tthreemonths’paymakeyouhatemeless?’
  ’No,itwon’t!Ihateyou,andI’llgoonhatingyou。Mr。Torpenhowwon’tspeaktomeanymore。He’salwayslookingatmaps。’
  BessiedidnotsaythatshehadagainlaidsiegetoTorpenhow,orthatattheendofourpassionatepleadinghehadpickedherup,givenherakiss,andputheroutsidethedoorwiththerecommendationnottobealittlefool。HespentmostofhistimeinthecompanyoftheNilghai,andtheirtalkwasofwarinthenearfuture,thehiringoftransports,andsecretpreparationsamongthedockyards。HedidnotwishtoseeDicktillthepicturewasfinished。
  ’He’sdoingfirst—classwork,’hesaidtotheNilghai,’andit’squiteoutofhisregularline。But,forthematterofthat,so’shisinfernalsoaking。’
  ’Nevermind。Leavehimalone。Whenhehascometohissensesagainwe’llcarryhimofffromthisplaceandlethimbreathecleanair。PoorDick!Idon’tenvyyou,Torp,whenhiseyesfail。’
  ’Yes,itwillbeacaseof"Godhelpthemanwho’schainedtoourDavie。"
  Theworstisthatwedon’tknowwhenitwillhappen,andIbelievetheuncertaintyandthewaitinghavesentDicktothewhiskeymorethananythingelse。’
  ’HowtheArabwhocuthisheadopenwouldgrinifheknew!’
  ’He’satperfectlibertytogrinifhecan。He’sdead。That’spoorconsolationnow。’
  IntheafternoonofthethirddayTorpenhowheardDickcallingforhim。
  ’Allfinished!’heshouted。’I’vedoneit!Comein!Isn’tsheabeauty?Isn’tsheadarling?I’vebeendowntohelltogether;butisn’tsheworthit?’
  Torpenhowlookedattheheadofawomanwholaughed,——afull—lipped,hollow—eyedwomanwholaughedfromoutofthecanvasasDickhadintendedshewould。
  ’Whotaughtyouhowtodoit?’saidTorpenhow。’Thetouchandnotionhavenothingtodowithyourregularwork。Whatafaceitis!Whateyes,andwhatinsolence!’Unconsciouslyhethrewbackhisheadandlaughedwithher。’She’sseenthegameplayedout,——Idon’tthinkshehadagoodtimeofit,——andnowshedoesn’tcare。Isn’tthattheidea?’
  ’Exactly。’
  ’Wheredidyougetthemouthandchinfrom?Theydon’tbelongtoBess。’
  ’They’re——someoneelse’s。Butisn’titgood?Isn’titthunderinggood?
  Wasn’titworththewhiskey?Ididit。AloneIdidit,andit’sthebestI
  cando。’Hedrewhisbreathsharply,andwhispered,’JustGod!whatcouldInotdotenyearshence,ifIcandothisnow!——Bytheway,whatdoyouthinkofit,Bess?’
  Thegirlwasbitingherlips。SheloathedTorpenhowbecausehehadtakennonoticeofher。
  ’Ithinkit’sjustthehorridest,beastliestthingIeversaw,’sheanswered,andturnedaway。
  ’Morethanyouwillbeofthatwayofthinking,youngwoman。——Dick,there’sasortofmurderous,viperinesuggestioninthepoiseoftheheadthatIdon’tunderstand,’saidTorpenhow。
  That’strick—work,’saidDick,chucklingwithdelightatbeingcompletelyunderstood。’Icouldn’tresistonelittlebitofsheerswagger。It’saFrenchtrick,andyouwouldn’tunderstand;butit’sgotatbyslewingroundtheheadatrifle,andatiny,tinyforeshorteningofonesideofthefacefromtheangleofthechintothetopoftheleftear。That,anddeepeningtheshadowunderthelobeoftheear。Itwasflagranttrick—work;but,havingthenotionfixed,Ifeltentitledtoplaywithit,——Oh,youbeauty!’
  ’Amen!Sheisabeauty。Icanfeelit。’
  ’Sowilleverymanwhohasanysorrowofhisown,’saidDick,slappinghisthigh。’Heshallseehistroublethere,and,bytheLordHarry,justwhenhe’sfeelingproperlysorryforhimselfheshallthrowbackhisheadandlaugh,——assheislaughing。I’veputthelifeofmyheartandthelightofmyeyesintoher,andIdon’tcarewhatcomes……I’mtired,——awfullytired。IthinkI’llgettosleep。Takeawaythewhiskey,ithasserveditsturn,andgiveBessiethirty—sixquid,andthreeoverforluck。Coverthepicture。’
  Hedroppedasleepinthelongchair,hidfacewhiteandhaggard,almostbeforehehadfinishedthesentence。BessietriedtotakeTorpenhow’shand。’Aren’tyounevergoingtospeaktomeanymore?’shesaid;butTorpenhowwaslookingatDick。
  ’Whatastockofvanitythemanhas!I’lltakehiminhandto—morrowandmakemuchofhim。Hedeservesit。——Eh!whatwasthat,Bess?’
  ’Nothing。I’llputthingstidyherealittle,andthenI’llgo。Youcouldn’tgivethethatthreemonths’paynow,couldyou?Hesaidyouwereto。’
  Torpenhowgaveheracheckandwenttohisownrooms。Bessiefaithfullytidiedupthestudio,setthedoorajarforflight,emptiedhalfabottleofturpentineonaduster,andbegantoscrubthefaceoftheMelancoliaviciously。Thepaintdidnotsmudgequicklyenough。Shetookapalette—knifeandscraped,followingeachstrokewiththewetduster。Infiveminutesthepicturewasaformless,scarredmuddleofcolours。Shethrewthepaint—staineddusterintothestudiostove,stuckouthertongueatthesleeper,andwhispered,’Bilked!’assheturnedtorundownthestaircase。ShewouldneverseeTorpenhowanymore,butshehadatleastdoneharmtothemanwhohadcomebetweenherandherdesireandwhousedtomakefunofher。CashingthecheckwastheverycreamofthejesttoBessie。ThenthelittleprivateersailedacrosstheThames,tobeswallowedupinthegraywildernessofSouth—the—Water。
  Dickslepttilllateintheevening,whenTorpenhowdraggedhimofftobed。Hiseyeswereasbrightashisvoicewashoarse。’Let’shaveanotherlookatthepicture,’hesaid,insistentlyasachild。
  ’You——go——to——bed,’saidTorpenhow。’Youaren’tatallwell,thoughyoumayn’tknowit。You’reasjumpyasacat。’
  ’Ireformto—morrow。Good—night。’
  Asherepassedthroughthestudio,Torpenhowliftedtheclothabovethepicture,andalmostbetrayedhimselfbyoutcries:’Wipedout!——scrapedoutandturpedout!He’sonthevergeofjumpsasitis。That’sBess,——thelittlefiend!Onlyawomancouldhavedonethat!—withtheinknotdryonthecheck,too!Dickwillberavingmadto—morrow。Itwasallmyfaultfortryingtohelpgutter—devils。Oh,mypoorDick,theLordishittingyouveryhard!’
  Dickcouldnotsleepthatnight,partlyforpurejoy,andpartlybecausethewell—knownCatherine—wheelsinsidehiseyeshadgivenplacetocracklingvolcanoesofmany—colouredfire。’Spoutaway,’hesaidaloud。
  ’I’vedonemywork,andnowyoucandowhatyouplease。’Helaystill,staringattheceiling,thelong—pent—updeliriumofdrinkinhisveins,hisbrainonfirewithracingthoughtsthatwouldnotstaytobeconsidered,andhishandscrispedanddry。HehadjustdiscoveredthathewaspaintingthefaceoftheMelancoliaonarevolvingdomeribbedwithmillionsoflights,andthatallhiswondrousthoughtsstoodembodiedhundredsoffeetbelowhistinyswingingplank,shoutingtogetherinhishonour,whensomethingcrackedinsidehistempleslikeanoverstrainedbowstring,theglitteringdomebrokeinward,andhewasaloneinthethicknight。
  ’I’llgotosleep。Theroom’sverydark。Let’slightalampandseehowtheMelancolialooks。Thereoughttohavebeenamoon。’
  ItwasthenthatTorpenhowheardhisnamecalledbyavoicethathedidnotknow,——intherattlingaccentsofdeadlyfear。
  ’He’slookedatthepicture,’washisfirstthought,ashehurriedintothebedroomandfoundDicksittingupandbeatingtheairwithhishands。
  ’Torp!Torp!whereareyou?Forpity’ssake,cometome!’
  ’What’sthematter?’
  Dickclutchedathisshoulder。’Matter!I’vebeenlyinghereforhoursinthedark,andyouneverheardme。Torp,oldman,don’tgoaway。I’mallinthedark。Inthedark,Itellyou!’
  TorpenhowheldthecandlewithinafootofDick’seyes,buttherewasnolightinthoseeyes。Helitthegas,andDickheardtheflamecatch。ThegripofhisfingersonTorpenhow’sshouldermadeTorpenhowwince。
  ’Don’tleaveme。Youwouldn’tleavemealonenow,wouldyou?Ican’tsee。D’youunderstand?It’sblack,——quiteblack,——andIfeelasifIwasfallingthroughitall。’
  ’Steadydoesit。’TorpenhowputhisarmroundDickandbegantorockhimgentlytoandfro。
  ’That’sgood。Nowdon’ttalk。IfIkeepveryquietforawhile,thisdarknesswilllift。Itseemsjustonthepointofbreaking。H’sh!’Dickknithisbrowsandstareddesperatelyinfrontofhim。ThenightairwaschillingTorpenhow’stoes。
  ’Canyoustaylikethataminute?’hesaid。’I’llgetmydressing—gownandsomeslippers。’
  Dickclutchedthebed—headwithbothhandsandwaitedforthedarknesstoclearaway。’Whatatimeyou’vebeen!’hecried,whenTorpenhowreturned。’It’sasblackasever。Whatareyoubangingaboutinthedoor—way?’
  ’Longchair,——horse—blanket,——pillow。Goingtosleepbyyou。Liedownnow;you’llbebetterinthemorning。’
  ’Ishan’t!’Thevoicerosetoawail。’MyGod!I’mblind!I’mblind,andthedarknesswillnevergoaway。’Hemadeasiftoleapfromthebed,butTorpenhow’sarmswereroundhim,andTorpenhow’schinwasonhisshoulder,andhisbreathwassqueezedoutofhim。Hecouldonlygasp,’Blind!’andwrigglefeebly。
  ’Steady,Dickie,steady!’saidthedeepvoiceinhisear,andthegriptightened。’Biteonthebullet,oldman,anddon’tletthemthinkyou’reafraid,’Thegripcoulddrawnocloser。Bothmenwerebreathingheavily。
  Dickthrewhisheadfromsidetosideandgroaned。
  ’Letmego,’hepanted。’You’recrackingmyribs。We—wemustn’tletthemthinkwe’reafraid,mustwe,——allthepowersofdarknessandthatlot?’
  ’Liedown。It’sallovernow。’
  ’Yes,’saidDick,obediently。’Butwouldyoumindlettingmeholdyourhand?IfeelasifIwantedsomethingtoholdonto。Onedropsthroughthedarkso。’
  Torpenhowthrustoutalargeandhairypawfromthelongchair。Dickclutchedittightly,andinhalfanhourhadfallenasleep。Torpenhowwithdrewhishand,and,stoopingoverDick,kissedhimlightlyontheforehead,asmendosometimeskissawoundedcomradeinthehourofdeath,toeasehisdeparture。
  InthegraydawnTorpenhowheardDicktalkingtohimself。Hewasadriftontheshorelesstidesofdelirium,speakingveryquickly——
  ’It’sapity,——agreatpity;butit’shelped,anditmustbeeaten,MasterGeorge。Sufficientuntothedayistheblindnessthereof,and,further,puttingasideallMelancoliasandfalsehumours,itisofobviousnotoriety——suchasminewas——thatthequeencandonowrong。Torpdoesn’tknowthat。I’lltellhimwhenwe’realittlefartherintothedesert。
  Whatabunglethoseboatmenaremakingofthesteamer—ropes!They’llhavethatfour—inchhawserchafedthroughinaminute。Itoldyouso——thereshegoes!Whitefoamongreenwater,andthesteamerslewinground。Howgoodthatlooks!I’llsketchit。No,Ican’t。I’mafflictedwithophthalmia。ThatwasoneofthetenplaguesofEgypt,anditextendsuptheNileintheshapeofcataract。Ha!that’sajoke,Torp。Laugh,yougravenimage,andstandclearofthehawser……It’llknockyouintothewaterandmakeyourdressalldirty,Maisiedear。’
  ’Oh!’saidTorpenhow。’Thishappenedbefore。Thatnightontheriver。’
  ’She’llbesuretosayit’smyfaultifyougetmuddy,andyou’requitenearenoughtothebreakwater。Maisie,that’snotfair。Ah!Iknewyou’dmiss。
  Lowandtotheleft,dear。Butyou’venoconviction。Don’tbeangry,darling。I’dcutmyhandoffifitwouldgiveyouanythingmorethanobstinacy。Myrighthand,ifitwouldserve。’
  ’Nowwemustn’tlisten。Here’sanislandshoutingacrossseasofmisunderstandingwithavengeance。Butit’sshoutingtruth,Ifancy,’saidTorpenhow。
  Thebabblecontinued。ItallboreuponMaisie。SometimesDicklecturedatlengthonhiscraft,thenhecursedhimselfforhisfollyinbeingenslaved。HepleadedtoMaisieforakiss——onlyonekiss——beforeshewentaway,andcalledtohertocomebackfromVitry—sur—Marne,ifshewould;butthroughallhisravingshebadeheavenandearthwitnessthatthequeencoulddonowrong。
  Torpenhowlistenedattentively,andlearnedeverydetailofDick’slifethathadbeenhiddenfromhim。ForthreedaysDickravedthroughthepast,andthenanaturalsleep。’Whatastrainhehasbeenrunningunder,poorchap!’saidTorpenhow。’Dick,ofallmen,handinghimselfoverlikeadog!AndIwaslecturinghimonarrogance!Ioughttohaveknownthatitwasnousetojudgeaman。ButIdidit。Whatademonthatgirlmustbe!Dick’sgivenherhislife,——confoundhim!——andshe’sgivenhimonekissapparently。’
  ’Torp,’saidDick,fromthebed,’gooutforawalk。You’vebeenheretoolong。I’llgetup。Hi!Thisisannoying。Ican’tdressmyself。Oh,it’stooabsurd!’
  Torpenhowhelpedhimintohisclothesandledhimtothebigchairinthestudio。Hesatquietlywaitingunderstrainednervesforthedarknesstolift。Itdidnotliftthatday,northenext。Dickadventuredonavoyageroundthewalls。Hehithisshinsagainstthestove,andthissuggestedtohimthatitwouldbebettertocrawlonallfours,onehandinfrontofhim。Torpenhowfoundhimonthefloor。
  ’I’mtryingtogetthegeographyofmynewpossessions,’saidhe。’D’yourememberthatniggeryougougedinthesquare?Pityyoudidn’tkeeptheoddeye。Itwouldhavebeenuseful。Anylettersforme?Givemealltheonesinfatgrayenvelopeswithasortofcrownthingoutside。They’reofnoimportance。’
  TorpenhowgavehimaletterwithablackM。ontheenvelopeflap。Dickputitintohispocket。TherewasnothinginitthatTorpenhowmightnothaveread,butitbelongedtohimselfandtoMaisie,whowouldneverbelongtohim。
  ’WhenshefindsthatIdon’twrite,she’llstopwriting。It’sbetterso。I
  couldn’tbeanyusetohernow,’Dickargued,andthetemptersuggestedthatheshouldmakeknownhiscondition。Everynerveinhimrevolted。’I
  havefallenlowenoughalready。I’mnotgoingtobegforpity。Besides,itwouldbecrueltoher。’HestrovetoputMaisieoutofhisthoughts;buttheblindhavemanyopportunitiesforthinking,andasthetidesofhisstrengthcamebacktohiminthelongemploylessdaysofdeaddarkness,Dick’ssoulwastroubledtothecore。Anotherletter,andanother,camefromMaisie。Thentherewassilence,andDicksatbythewindow,thepulseofsummerintheair,andpicturedherbeingwonbyanotherman,strongerthanhimself。Hisimagination,thekeenerforthedarkbackgrounditworkedagainst,sparedhimnosingledetailthatmightsendhimragingupanddownthestudio,tostumbleoverthestovethatseemedtobeinfourplacesatonce。Worstofall,tobaccowouldnottasteinthedarkness。Thearroganceofthemanhaddisappeared,andinitsplaceweresettleddespairthatTorpenhowknew,andblindpassionthatDickconfidedtohispillowatnight。Theintervalsbetweentheparoxysmswerefilledwithintolerablewaitingandtheweightofintolerabledarkness。
  ’ComeoutintothePark,’saidTorpenhow。’Youhaven’tstirredoutsincethebeginningofthings。’
  ’What’stheuse?There’snomovementinthedark;and,besides,’——hepausedirresolutelyattheheadofthestairs,——’somethingwillrunoverme。’
  ’NotifI’mwithyou。Proceedgingerly。’
  TheroarofthestreetsfilledDickwithnervousterror,andheclungtoTorpenhow’sarm。’Fancyhavingtofeelforagutterwithyourfoot!’hesaidpetulantly,asheturnedintothePark。’Let’scurseGodanddie。’
  ’Sentriesareforbiddentopayunauthorisedcompliments。ByJove,therearetheGuards!’
  Dick’sfigurestraightened。’Let’sgetnear’em。Let’sgoinandlook。Let’sgetonthegrassandrun。Icansmellthetrees。’
  ’Mindthelowrailing。That’sallright!’Torpenhowkickedoutatuftofgrasswithhisheel。’Smellthat,’hesaid。’Isn’titgood?’Dicksniffedluxuriously。’Nowpickupyourfeetandrun。’Theyapproachedasneartotheregimentaswaspossible。TheclankofbayonetsbeingunfixedmadeDick’snostrilsquiver。
  ’Let’sgetnearer。They’reincolumn,aren’tthey?’
  ’Yes。Howdidyouknow?’
  ’Feltit。Oh,mymen!——mybeautifulmen!’Heedgedforwardasthoughhecouldsee。’Icoulddrawthosechapsonce。Who’lldraw’emnow?’
  ’They’llmoveoffinaminute。Don’tjumpwhenthebandbegins。’
  ’Huh!I’mnotanewcharger。It’sthesilencesthathurt。Nearer,Torp!——nearer!Oh,myGod,whatwouldn’tIgivetosee’emforaminute!——onehalf—minute!’
  Hecouldhearthearmedlifealmostwithinreachofhim,couldheartheslingstightenacrossthebandsman’schestasheheavedthebigdrumfromtheground。
  ’Stickscrossedabovehishead,’whisperedTorpenhow。
  ’Iknow。Iknow!WhoshouldknowifIdon’t?H’sh!’
  Thedrum—sticksfellwithaboom,andthemenswungforwardtothecrashoftheband。Dickfeltthewindofthemassedmovementinhisface,heardthemaddeningtrampoffeetandthefrictionofthepouchesonthebelts。Thebigdrumpoundedoutthetune。Itwasamusic—hallrefrainthatmadeaperfectquickstep——
  Hemustbeamanofdecentheight,Hemustbeamanofweight,HemustcomehomeonaSaturdaynightInathoroughlysoberstate;
  Hemustknowhowtoloveme,Andhemustknowhowtokiss;
  Andifhe’senoughtokeepusbothIcan’trefusehimbliss。
  ’What’sthematter?’saidTorpenhow,ashesawDick’sheadfallwhenthelastoftheregimenthaddeparted。
  ’Nothing。Ifeelalittlebitoutoftherunning,——that’sall。Torp,takemeback。Whydidyoubringmeout?’?
  CHAPTERXII
  Therewerethreefriendsthatburiedthefourth,ThemouldinhismouthandthedustinhiseyesAndtheywentsouthandeast,andnorth,——
  Thestrongmanfights,butthesickmandies。
  Therewerethreefriendsthatspokeofthedead,——
  Thestrongmanfights,butthesickmandies。——
  ’Andwouldhewerewithusnow,’theysaid,’Thesuninourfaceandthewindinoureyes。’
  ——Ballad。
  THENILGHAIwasangrywithTorpenhow。Dickhadbeensenttobed,——blindmenareeverundertheordersofthosewhocansee,——andsincehehadreturnedfromtheParkhadfluentlyswornatTorpenhowbecausehewasalive,andalltheworldbecauseitwasaliveandcouldsee,whilehe,Dick,wasdeadinthedeathoftheblind,who,atthebest,areonlyburdensupontheirassociates。TorpenhowhadsaidsomethingaboutaMrs。Gummidge,andDickhadretiredinablackfurytohandleandre—handlethreeunopenedlettersfromMaisie。
  TheNilghai,fat,burly,andaggressive,wasinTorpenhow’srooms。
  BehindhimsattheKeneu,theGreatWarEagle,andbetweenthemlayalargemapembellishedwithblack—and—white—headedpins。
  ’IwaswrongabouttheBalkans,’saidtheNilghai。’ButI’mnotwrongaboutthisbusiness。ThewholeofourworkintheSouthernSoudanmustbedoneoveragain。Thepublicdoesn’tcare,ofcourse,butthegovernmentdoes,andtheyaremakingtheirarrangementsquietly。YouknowthataswellasIdo。’
  ’IrememberhowthepeoplecurseduswhenourtroopswithdrewfromOmdurman。Itwasboundtocropupsoonerorlater。ButIcan’tgo,’saidTorpenhow。Hepointedthroughtheopendoor;itwasahotnight。’Canyoublameme?’
  TheKeneupurredabovehispipelikealargeandveryhappycat——
  ’Don’tblameyouintheleast。It’suncommonlygoodofyou,andalltherestofit,buteveryman——evenyou,Torp——mustconsiderhiswork。Iknowitsoundsbrutal,butDick’soutoftherace,——down,——gastadosexpended,finished,donefor。Hehasalittlemoneyofhisown。Hewon’tstarve,andyoucan’tpulloutofyourslideforhissake。Thinkofyourownreputation。’
  ’Dick’swasfivetimesbiggerthanmineandyoursputtogether。’
  ’Thatwasbecausehesignedhisnametoeverythinghedid。It’sallendednow。Youmustholdyourselfinreadinesstomoveout。Youcancommandyourownprices,andyoudobetterworkthananythreeofus。’
  ’Don’ttellmehowtemptingitis。I’llstayheretolookafterDickforawhile。He’sascheerfulasabearwithasorehead,butIthinkhelikestohavemenearhim。’
  TheNilghaisaidsomethinguncomplimentaryaboutsoft—headedfoolswhothrowawaytheircareersforotherfools。Torpenhowflushedangrily。TheconstantstrainofattendanceonDickhadwornhisnervesthin。
  ’Thereremainsathirdfate,’saidtheKeneu,thoughtfully。’Considerthis,andbenotlargerfoolsthannecessary。Dickis——orratherwas——anable—bodiedmanofmoderateattractionsandacertainamountofaudacity。’
  ’Oho!’saidtheNilghai,whorememberedanaffairatCairo。’Ibegintosee,——Torp,I’msorry。’
  Torpenhownoddedforgiveness:’Youweremoresorrywhenhecutyouout,though。——Goon,Keneu。’
  ’I’veoftenthought,whenI’veseenmendieoutinthedesert,thatifthenewscouldbesentthroughtheworld,andthemeansoftransportwerequickenough,therewouldbeonewomanatleastateachman’sbedside。’
  ’Therewouldbesomemightyquaintrevelations。Letusbegratefulthingsareastheyare,’saidtheNilghai。
  ’LetusratherreverentlyconsiderwhetherTorp’sthree—corneredministrationsareexactlywhatDickneedsjustnow。——Whatdoyouthinkyourself,Torp?’
  ’Iknowtheyaren’t。ButwhatcanIdo?’
  ’Laythematterbeforetheboard。WeareallDick’sfriendshere。You’vebeenmostinhislife。’
  ’ButIpickeditupwhenhewasoffhishead。’
  ’Thegreaterchanceofitsbeingtrue。Ithoughtweshouldarrive。Whoisshe?’
  ThenTorpenhowtoldataleinplainwords,asaspecialcorrespondentwhoknowshowtomakeaverbalprecisshouldtellit。Themenlistenedwithoutinterruption。
  ’Isitpossiblethatamancancomebackacrosstheyearstohiscalf—love?’
  saidtheKeneu。’Isitpossible?’
  ’Igivethefacts。Hesaysnothingaboutitnow,buthesitsfumblingthreelettersfromherwhenhethinksI’mnotlooking。WhatamItodo?’
  ’Speaktohim,’saidtheNilghai。
  ’Ohyes!Writetoher,——Idon’tknowherfullname,remember,——andaskhertoaccepthimoutofpity。IbelieveyouoncetoldDickyouweresorryforhim,Nilghai。Yourememberwhathappened,eh?GointothebedroomandsuggestfullconfessionandanappealtothisMaisiegirl,whoeversheis。Ihonestlybelievehe’dtrytokillyou;andtheblindnesshasmadehimrathermuscular。’
  ’Torpenhow’scourseisperfectlyclear,’saidtheKeneu。’HewillgotoVitry—sur—Marne,whichisontheBezieres—LandesRailway,——singletrackfromTourgas。ThePrussiansshelleditoutin’70becausetherewasapoplaronthetopofahilleighteenhundredyardsfromthechurchspireThere’sasquadronofcavalryquarteredthere,——oroughttobe。WherethisstudioTorpspokeaboutmaybeIcannottell。ThatisTorp’sbusiness。Ihavegivenhimhisroute。Hewilldispassionatelyexplainthesituationtothegirl,andshewillcomebacktoDick,——themoreespeciallybecause,touseDick’swords,"thereisnothingbutherdamnedobstinacytokeepthemapart。"’
  ’Andtheyhavefourhundredandtwentypoundsayearbetween’em。
  Dickneverlosthisheadforfigures,eveninhisdelirium。Youhaven’ttheshadowofanexcusefornotgoing,’saidtheNilghai。
  Torpenhowlookedveryuncomfortable。’Butit’sabsurdandimpossible。I
  can’tdragherbackbythehair。’
  ’Ourbusiness——thebusinessforwhichwedrawourmoney——istodoabsurdandimpossiblethings,——generallywithnoreasonwhateverexcepttoamusethepublic。Herewehaveareason。Therestdoesn’tmatter。I
  shallsharetheseroomswiththeNilghaitillTorpenhowreturns。Therewillbeabatchofunbridled"specials"comingtotowninalittlewhile,andthesewillserveastheirheadquarters。AnotherreasonforsendingTorpenhowaway。ThusProvidencehelpsthosewhohelpothers,and’——heretheKeneudroppedhismeasuredspeech——’wecan’thaveyoutiedbythelegtoDickwhenthetroublebegins。It’syouronlychanceofgettingaway;andDickwillbegrateful。’
  ’Hewill,——worseluck!Icanbutgoandtry。Ican’tconceiveawomaninhersensesrefusingDick。’
  ’Talkthatoutwiththegirl。IhaveseenyouwheedleanangryMahdiehwomanintogivingyoudates。Thiswon’tbeatitheasdifficult。Youhadbetternotbehereto—morrowafternoon,becausetheNilghaiandIwillbeinpossession。Itisanorder。Obey。’?
  ’Dick,’saidTorpenhow,nextmorning,’canIdoanythingforyou?’
  ’No!Leavemealone。HowoftenmustIremindyouthatI’mblind?’
  ’NothingIcouldgofortofetchfortocarryfortobring?’
  ’No。Takethoseinfernalcreakingbootsofyoursaway。’
  ’Poorchap!’saidTorpenhowtohimself。’Imusthavebeensittingonhisnerveslately。Hewantsalighterstep。’Then,aloud,’Verywell。Sinceyou’resoindependent,I’mgoingoffforfourorfivedays。Saygood—byeatleast。Thehousekeeperwilllookafteryou,andKeneuhasmyrooms。’
  Dick’sfacefell。’Youwon’tbelongerthanaweekattheoutside?IknowI’mtouchedinthetemper,butIcan’tgetonwithoutyou。’
  ’Can’tyou?You’llhavetodowithoutmeinalittletime,andyou’llbegladI’mgone。’
  Dickfelthiswaybacktothebigchair,andwonderedwhatthesethingsmightmean。Hedidnotwishtobetendedbythehousekeeper,andyetTorpenhow’sconstanttendernessjarredonhim。Hedidnotexactlyknowwhathewanted。Thedarknesswouldnotlift,andMaisie’sunopenedlettersfeltwornandoldfrommuchhandling。Hecouldneverreadthemforhimselfaslongaslifeendured;butMaisiemighthavesenthimsomefreshonestoplaywith。TheNilghaienteredwithagift,——apieceofredmodelling—wax。HefanciedthatDickmightfindinterestinusinghishands。Dickpokedandpattedthestuffforafewminutes,and,’Isitlikeanythingintheworld?’hesaiddrearily。’Takeitaway。Imaygetthetouchoftheblindinfiftyyears。DoyouknowwhereTorpenhowhasgone?’
  TheNilghaiknewnothing。’We’restayinginhisroomstillhecomesback。Canwedoanythingforyou?’
  ’I’dliketobeleftalone,please。Don’tthinkI’mungrateful;butI’mbestalone。’
  TheNilghaichuckled,andDickresumedhisdrowsybroodingandsullenrebellionagainstfate。Hehadlongsinceceasedtothinkabouttheworkhehaddoneintheolddays,andthedesiretodomoreworkhaddepartedfromhim。Hewasexceedinglysorryforhimself,andthecompletenessofhistendergriefsoothedhim。ButhissoulandhisbodycriedforMaisie——Maisiewhowouldunderstand。HismindpointedoutthatMaisie,havingherownworktodo,wouldnotcare。Hisexperiencehadtaughthimthatwhenmoneywasexhaustedwomenwentaway,andthatwhenamanwasknockedoutoftheracetheotherstrampledonhim。’Thenattheleast,’saidDick,inreply,’shecouldusemeasIusedBinat,——forsomesortofastudy。Iwouldn’taskmorethantobenearheragain,eventhoughIknewthatanothermanwasmakinglovetoher。Ugh!whatadogIam!’
  Avoiceonthestaircasebegantosingjoyfully——
  ’Whenwego——go——goawayfromhere,Ourcreditorswillweepandtheywillwail,Ourabsencemuchregrettingwhentheyfindthatthey’vebeengettingOutofEnglandbynextTuesday’sIndianmail。’?
  Followingthetramplingoffeet,slammingofTorpenhow’sdoor,andthesoundofvoicesinstrenuousdebate,someonesqueaked,’Andsee,yougoodfellows,Ihavefoundanewwater—bottle——firs’—classpatent——eh,howyousay?Openhimselfinsideout。’
  Dicksprangtohisfeet。Heknewthevoicewell。’That’sCassavetti,comebackfromtheContinent。NowIknowwhyTorpwentaway。There’sarowsomewhere,and——I’moutofit!’
  TheNilghaicommandedsilenceinvain。’That’sformysake,’Dicksaidbitterly。’Thebirdsaregettingreadytofly,andtheywouldn’ttellme。I
  canhearMorten—SutherlandandMackaye。HalftheWarCorrespondentsinLondonarethere;——andI’moutofit。’
  HestumbledacrossthelandingandplungedintoTorpenhow’sroom。Hecouldfeelthatitwasfullofmen。’Where’sthetrouble?’saidhe。’IntheBalkansatlast?Whydidn’tsomeonetellme?’
  ’Wethoughtyouwouldn’tbeinterested,’saidtheNilghai,shamefacedly。
  ’It’sintheSoudan,asusual。’
  ’Youluckydogs!Letmesitherewhileyoutalk。Ishan’tbeaskeletonatthefeast。——Cassavetti,whereareyou?YourEnglishisasbadasever。’
  Dickwasledintoachair。Heheardtherustleofthemaps,andthetalksweptforward,carryinghimwithit。Everybodyspokeatonce,discussingpresscensorships,railway—routes,transport,water—supply,thecapacitiesofgenerals,——theseinlanguagethatwouldhavehorrifiedatrustingpublic,——rangint,asserting,denouncing,andlaughingatthetopoftheirvoices。TherewasthegloriouscertaintyofwarintheSoudanatanymoment。TheNilghaisaidso,anditwaswelltobeinreadiness。TheKeneuhadtelegraphedtoCairoforhorses;Cassavettihadstolenaperfectlyinaccuratelistoftroopsthatwouldbeorderedforward,andwasreadingitoutamidprofaneinterruptions,andtheKeneuintroducedtoDicksomemanunknownwhowouldbeemployedaswarartistbytheCentralSouthernSyndicate。’It’shisfirstouting,’saidtheKeneu。’Givehimsometips——aboutridingcamels。’
  ’Oh,thosecamels!’groanedCassavetti。’Ishalllearntoridehimagain,andnowIamsomuchallsoft!Listen,yougoodfellows。Iknowyourmilitaryarrangementverywell。TherewillgotheRoyalArgalshireSutherlanders。Soitwasreadtomeuponbestauthority。’
  Aroaroflaughterinterruptedhim。
  ’Sitdown,’saidtheNilghai。’Thelistsaren’tevenmadeoutintheWarOffice。’
  ’WilltherebeanyforceatSuakin?’aidavoice。
  Thentheoutcriesredoubled,andgrewmixed,thus:’HowmanyEgyptiantroopswilltheyuse?——GodhelptheFellaheen!——There’sarailwayinPlumsteadmarshesdoingdutyasafives—court。——WeshallhavetheSuakin—Berberlinebuiltatlast。——Canadianvoyageursaretoocareful。Givemeahalf—drunkKroomaninawhale—boat。——WhocommandstheDesertcolumn?——No,theyneverblewupthebigrockintheGhinehbend。Weshallhavetobehauledup,asusual。——Somebodytellmeifthere’sanIndiancontingent,orI’llbreakeverybody’shead。——Don’ttearthemapintwo。——It’sawarofoccupation,Itellyou,toconnectwiththeAfricancompaniesintheSouth。——There’sGuinea—worminmostofthewellsonthatroute。’ThentheNilghai,despairingofpeace,bellowedlikeafog—hornandbeatuponthetablewithbothhands。
  ’ButwhatbecomesofTorpenhow?’saidDick,inthesilencethatfollowed。
  ’Torp’sinabeyancejustnow。He’sofflove—makingsomewhere,I
  suppose,’saidtheNilghai。
  ’Hesaidhewasgoingtostayathome,’saidtheKeneu。
  ’Ishe?’saidDick,withanoath。’Hewon’t。I’mnotmuchgoodnow,butifyouandtheNilghaiholdhimdownI’llengagetotrampleonhimtillheseesreason。He’llstaybehind,indeed!He’sthebestofyouall。There’llbesometoughworkbyOmdurman。Weshallcometheretostay,thistime。
  ButIforgot。IwishIweregoingwithyou。’
  ’Sodoweall,Dickie,’saidtheKeneu。
  ’AndImostofall,’saidthenewartistoftheCentralSouthernSyndicate。
  ’Couldyoutellme————’
  ’I’llgiveyouonepieceofadvice,’Dickanswered,movingtowardsthedoor。’Ifyouhappentobecutovertheheadinascrimmage,don’tguard。
  Tellthemantogooncutting。You’llfinditcheapestintheend。Thanksforlettingmelookin。’
  ’There’sgritinDick,’saidtheNilghai,anhourlater,whentheroomwasemptiedofallsavetheKeneu。
  ’Itwasthesacredcallofthewar—trumpet。Didyounoticehowheansweredtoit?Poorfellow!Let’slookathim,’saidtheKeneu。
  Theexcitementofthetalkhaddiedaway。Dickwassittingbythestudiotable,withhisheadonhisarms,whenthemencamein。Hedidnotchangehisposition。
  ’Ithurts,’hemoaned。’Godforgiveme,butithurtscruelly;andyet,y’know,theworldhasaknackofspinningroundallbyitself。ShallIseeTorpbeforehegoes?’
  ’Oh,yes。You’llseehim,’saidtheNilghai。
  CHAPTERXIII
  Thesunwentdownanhourago,IwonderifIfacetowardshome;
  IfIlostmywayinthelightofdayHowshallIfinditnownightiscome?
  ——OldSong。?
  ’MAISIE,cometobed。’
  ’It’ssohotIcan’tsleep。Don’tworry。’
  Maisieputherelbowsonthewindow—sillandlookedatthemoonlightonthestraight,poplar—flankedroad。SummerhadcomeuponVitry—sur—Marneandparchedittothebone。Thegrasswasdry—burntinthemeadows,theclaybythebankoftheriverwascakedtobrick,theroadsideflowerswerelongsincedead,andtherosesinthegardenhungwitheredontheirstalks。Theheatinthelittlelowbedroomundertheeaveswasalmostintolerable。TheverymoonlightonthewallofKami’sstudioacrosstheroadseemedtomakethenighthotter,andtheshadowofthebigbell—handlebytheclosedgatecastabarofinkyblackthatcaughtMaisie’seyeandannoyedher。
  ’Horridthing!Itshouldbeallwhite,’shemurmured。’Andthegateisn’tinthemiddleofthewall,either。Inevernoticedthatbefore。’
  Maisiewashardtopleaseatthathour。First,theheatofthepastfewweekshadwornherdown;secondly,herwork,andparticularlythestudyofafemaleheadintendedtorepresenttheMelancoliaandnotfinishedintimefortheSalon,wasunsatisfactory;thirdly,Kamihadsaidasmuchtwodaysbefore;fourthly,——butsocompletelyfourthlythatitwashardlyworththinkingabout,——Dick,herproperty,hadnotwrittentoherformorethansixweeks。Shewasangrywiththeheat,withKami,andwithherwork,butshewasexceedinglyangrywithDick。
  Shehadwrittentohimthreetimes,——eachtimeproposingafreshtreatmentofherMelancolia。Dickhadtakennonoticeofthesecommunications。Shehadresolvedtowritenomore。WhenshereturnedtoEnglandintheautumn——forherpride’ssakeshecouldnotreturnearlier——shewouldspeaktohim。ShemissedtheSundayafternoonconferencesmorethanshecaredtoadmit。AllthatKamisaidwas,’Continuez,mademoiselle,continueztoujours,’andhehadbeenrepeatingthewearisomecounselthroughthehotsummer,exactlylikeacicada,——anoldgraycicadainablackalpacacoat,whitetrousers,andahugefelthat。
  ButDickhadtrampedmasterfullyupanddownherlittlestudionorthofthecoolgreenLondonpark,andhadsaidthingstentimesworsethancontinuez,beforehesnatchedthebrushoutofherhandandshowedherwheretheerrorlay。Hislastletter,Maisieremembered,containedsometrivialadviceaboutnotsketchinginthesunordrinkingwateratwaysidefarmhouses;andhehadsaidthatnotonce,butthreetimes,——asifhedidnotknowthatMaisiecouldtakecareofherself。
  Butwhatwashedoing,thathecouldnottroubletowrite?Amurmurofvoicesintheroadmadeherleanfromthewindow。AcavalrymanofthelittlegarrisoninthetownwastalkingtoKami’scook。Themoonlightglitteredonthescabbardofhissabre,whichhewasholdinginhishandlestitshouldclankinopportunely。Thecook’scapcastdeepshadowsonherface,whichwasclosetotheconscript’s。Heslidhisarmroundherwaist,andtherefollowedthesoundofakiss。
  ’Faugh!’saidMaisie,steppingback。
  ’What’sthat?’saidthered—hairedgirl,whowastossinguneasilyoutsideherbed。
  ’Onlyaconscriptkissingthecook,’saidMaisie。
  ’They’vegoneawaynow。’Sheleanedoutofthewindowagain,andputashawloverhernightgowntoguardagainstchills。Therewasaverysmallnight—breezeabroad,andasun—bakedrosebelownoddeditsheadasonewhoknewunutterablesecrets。WasitpossiblethatDickshouldturnhisthoughtsfromherworkandhisownanddescendtothedegradationofSuzanneandtheconscript?Hecouldnot!Therosenoddeditsheadandoneleaftherewith。Itlookedlikeanaughtylittledevilscratchingitsear。
  Dickcouldnot,’because,’thoughtMaisie,’heismind,——mine,——mine。Hesaidhewas。I’msureIdon’tcarewhathedoes。Itwillonlyspoilhisworkifhedoes;anditwillspoilminetoo。’
  Therosecontinuedtonoditthefutilewaypeculiartoflowers。TherewasnoearthlyreasonwhyDickshouldnotdisporthimselfashechose,exceptthathewascalledbyProvidence,whichwasMaisie,toassistMaisieinherwork。AndherworkwasthepreparationofpicturesthatwentsometimestoEnglishprovincialexhibitions,asthenoticesinthescrap—bookproved,andthatwereinvariablyrejectedbytheSalonwhenKamiwasplaguedintoallowinghertosendthemup。Herworkinthefuture,itseemed,wouldbethepreparationofpicturesonexactlysimilarlineswhichwouldberejectedinexactlythesameway—