’No，thankyou，miss，’hesaid;’it’smyfavouritewine，butitdoesn’tagreewithme;nottheleastbit。ButI’veanuncledrinksit。SupposeIorderedhimhalfadozenforaChristmaspresent？
Well，miss，here’stheshillingcommission，anyway，’andhepulledoutahandfulofmoneyandgavehertheshilling。
’ButIthoughtthewinepeoplepaidthat，’Alicesaid。
Butthebutchersaidnotonhalf—dozenstheydidn’t。Thenhesaidhedidn’tthinkhe’dwaitanylongerforFather—butwouldAliceaskFathertowritehim？
Aliceofferedhimthesherryagain，buthesaidsomethingabout’Notforworlds！’—andthenshelethimoutandcamebacktouswiththeshilling，andsaid，’How’sthat？’
Andwesaid’Ai。’
Andalltheeveningwetalkedofourfortunethatwehadbeguntomake。
Nobodycamenextday，butthedayafteraladycametoaskformoneytobuildanorphanageforthechildrenofdeadsailors。Andwesawher。IwentinwithAlice。Andwhenwehadexplainedtoherthatwehadonlyashillingandwewanteditforsomethingelse，Alicesuddenlysaid，’Wouldyoulikesomewine？’
Andtheladysaid，’Thankyouverymuch，’butshelookedsurprised。
Shewasnotayounglady，andshehadamantlewithbeads，andthebeadshadcomeoffinplaces—leavingabrownybraidshowing，andshehadprintedpapersaboutthedeadsailorsinasealskinbag，andthesealhadcomeoffinplaces，leavingtheskinbare。
Wegaveheratablespoonfulofthewineinaproperwine—glassoutofthesideboard，becauseshewasalady。Andwhenshehadtasteditshegotupinaverygreathurry，andshookoutherdressandsnappedherbagshut，andsaid，’Younaughty，wickedchildren！
Whatdoyoumeanbyplayingatricklikethis？Yououghttobeashamedofyourselves！IshallwritetoyourMammaaboutit。Youdreadfullittlegirl！—youmighthavepoisonedme。ButyourMamma……’
ThenAlicesaid，’I’mverysorry;thebutcherlikedit，onlyhesaiditwassweet。Andpleasedon’twritetoMother。ItmakesFathersounhappywhenletterscomeforher！’—andAlicewasverynearcrying。
’Whatdoyoumean，yousillychild？’saidthelady，lookingquitebrightandinterested。’Whydoesn’tyourFatherlikeyourMothertohaveletters—eh？’
AndAlicesaid，’Oh，you……！’andbegantocry，andboltedoutoftheroom。
ThenIsaid，’OurMotherisdead，andwillyoupleasegoawaynow？’
Theladylookedatmeaminute，andthenshelookedquitedifferent，andshesaid，’I’mverysorry。Ididn’tknow。Nevermindaboutthewine。Idaresayyourlittlesistermeantitkindly。’Andshelookedroundtheroomjustlikethebutcherhaddone。Thenshesaidagain，’Ididn’tknow—I’mverysorry……’
SoIsaid，’Don’tmentionit，’andshookhandswithher，andletherout。Ofcoursewecouldn’thaveaskedhertobuythewineafterwhatshe’dsaid。ButIthinkshewasnotabadsortofperson。Idolikeapersontosaythey’resorrywhentheyoughttobe—especiallyagrown—up。Theydoitsoseldom。Isupposethat’swhywethinksomuchofit。
ButAliceandIdidn’tfeeljollyforeversolongafterwards。AndwhenIwentbackintothedining—roomIsawhowdifferentitwasfromwhenMotherwashere，andwearedifferent，andFatherisdifferent，andnothingislikeitwas。IamgladIamnotmadetothinkaboutiteveryday。
IwentandfoundAlice，andtoldherwhattheladyhadsaid，andwhenshehadfinishedcryingweputawaythebottleandsaidwewouldnottrytosellanymoretopeoplewhocame。Andwedidnottelltheothers—weonlysaidtheladydidnotbuyany—butwewentupontheHeath，andsomesoldierswentbyandtherewasaPunch—and—judyshow，andwhenwecamebackwewerebetter。
Thebottlegotquitedustywherewehadputit，andperhapsthedustofageswouldhavelaidthickandheavyonit，onlyaclergymancalledwhenwewereallout。Hewasnotourownclergyman—MrBristowisourownclergyman，andwealllovehim，andwewouldnottrytosellsherrytopeoplewelike，andmaketwopoundsaweekoutoftheminoursparetime。Itwasanotherclergyman，justastrayone;andheaskedElizaifthedearchildrenwouldnotliketocometohislittleSundayschool。WealwaysspendSundayafternoonswithFather。ButashehadleftthenameofhisvicaragewithEliza，andaskedhertotellustocome，wethoughtwewouldgoandcallonhim，justtoexplainaboutSundayafternoons，andwethoughtwemightaswelltakethesherrywithus。
’Iwon’tgounlessyouallgotoo，’Alicesaid，’andIwon’tdothetalking。’
Dorasaidshethoughtwehadmuchbetternotgo;butwesaid’Rot！’
anditendedinhercomingwithus，andIamgladshedid。
Oswaldsaidhewoulddothetalkingiftheothersliked，andhelearnedupwhattosayfromtheprintedpapers。
WewenttotheVicarageearlyonSaturdayafternoon，andrangatthebell。Itisanewredhousewithnotreesinthegarden，onlyveryyellowmouldandgravel。Itwasallveryneatanddry。Justbeforewerangthebellweheardsomeoneinsidecall’Jane！Jane！’
andwethoughtwewouldnotbeJaneforanything。Itwasthesoundofthevoicethatcalledthatmadeussorryforher。
Thedoorwasopenedbyaveryneatservantinblack，withawhiteapron;wesawhertyingthestringsasshecamealongthehall，throughthedifferent—colouredglassinthedoor。Herfacewasred，andIthinkshewasJane。WeaskedifwecouldseeMrMallow。
TheservantsaidMrMallowwasverybusywithhissermonjustthen，butshewouldsee。
ButOswaldsaid，’It’sallright。Heaskedustocome。’
Sosheletusallinandshutthefrontdoor，andshowedusintoaverytidyroomwithabookcasefullofalotofbookscoveredinblackcottonwithwhitelabels，andsomedullpictures，andaharmonium。AndMrMallowwaswritingatadeskwithdrawers，copyingsomethingoutofabook。Hewasstoutandshort，andworespectacles。
Hecoveredhiswritingupwhenwewentin—Ididn’tknowwhy。Helookedrathercross，andweheardJaneorsomebodybeingscoldedoutsidebythevoice。Ihopeitwasn’tforlettingusin，butI
havehaddoubts。
’Well，’saidtheclergyman，’whatisallthisabout？’
’Youaskedustocall，’Dorasaid，’aboutyourlittleSundayschool。WearetheBastablesofLewishamRoad。’
’Oh—ah，yes，’hesaid;’andshallIexpectyouallto—morrow？’
Hetookuphispenandfiddledwithit，andhedidnotaskustositdown。Butsomeofusdid。
’WealwaysspendSundayafternoonwithFather，’saidDora;’butwewishedtothankyouforbeingsokindastoaskus。’
’Andwewishedtoaskyousomethingelse！’saidOswald;andhemadeasigntoAlicetogetthesherryreadyintheglass。Shedid—
behindOswald’sbackwhilehewasspeaking。
’Mytimeislimited，’saidMrMallow，lookingathiswatch;’butstill—’Thenhemutteredsomethingaboutthefold，andwenton：
’Tellmewhatistroublingyou，mylittleman，andIwilltrytogiveyouanyhelpinmypower。Whatisityouwant？’
ThenOswaldquicklytooktheglassfromAlice，andhelditouttohim，andsaid，’Iwantyouropiniononthat。’
’Onthat，’hesaid。’Whatisit？’
’Itisashipment，’Oswaldsaid;’butit’squiteenoughforyoutotaste。’Alicehadfilledtheglasshalf—full;Isupposeshewastooexcitedtomeasureproperly。
’Ashipment？’saidtheclergyman，takingtheglassinhishand。
’Yes，’OswaldwentOn;’anexceptionalopportunity。Full—bodiedandnutty。’
’ItreallydoestasteratherlikeonekindofBrazil—nut。’Aliceputheroarinasusual。
TheVicarlookedfromAlicetoOswald，andbackagain，andOswaldwentonwithwhathehadlearnedfromtheprinting。Theclergymanheldtheglassathalf—arm’s—length，stiffly，asifhehadcaughtcold。
’Itisofaqualityneverbeforeofferedattheprice。OldDelicateAmoro—what’sitsname—’
’Amorolio，’saidH。O。
’Amoroso，’saidOswald。’H。O。，youjustshutup—CastilianAmoroso—it’satrueafter—dinnerwine，stimulatingandyet……’
’Wine？’saidMrMallow，holdingtheglassfurtheroff。’Doyouknow，’hewenton，makinghisvoiceverythickandstrong（Iexpecthedoesitlikethatinchurch），’haveyouneverbeentaughtthatitisthedrinkingofwineandspirits—yes，andBEER，whichmakeshalfthehomesinEnglandfullofwretchedlittlechildren，anddegraded，MISERABLEparents？’
’Notifyouputsugarinit，’saidAlicefirmly;’eightlumpsandshakethebottle。Wehaveeachhadmorethanateaspoonfulofit，andwewerenotillatall。ItwassomethingelsethatupsetH。O。
MostlikelyallthoseacornshegotoutofthePark。’
Theclergymanseemedtobespeechlesswithconflictingemotions，andjustthenthedooropenedandaladycamein。Shehadawhitecapwithlace，andanuglyvioletflowerinit，andshewastall，andlookedverystrong，thoughthin。AndIdobelieveshehadbeenlisteningatthedoor。
’Butwhy，’theVicarwassaying，’whydidyoubringthisdreadfulfluid，thiscurseofourcountry，tometotaste？’
’Becausewethoughtyoumightbuysome，’saidDora，whoneverseeswhenagameisup。’Inbookstheparsonloveshisbottleofoldport;andnewsherryisjustasgood—withsugar—forpeoplewholikesherry。Andifyouwouldorderadozenofthewine，thenweshouldgettwoshillings。’
Theladysaid（anditwasthevoice），’Goodgracious！Nasty，sordidlittlethings！Haven’ttheyanyonetoteachthembetter？’
AndDoragotupandsaid，’No，wearenotthosethingsyousay;butwearesorrywecameheretobecallednames。WewanttomakeourfortunejustasmuchasMrMallowdoes—onlynoonewouldlistentousifwepreached，soit’snouseourcopyingoutsermonslikehim。’
AndIthinkthatwassmartofDora，evenifitwasratherrude。
ThenIsaidperhapswehadbettergo，andtheladysaid，’Ishouldthinkso！’
Butwhenweweregoingtowrapupthebottleandglasstheclergymansaid，’No;youcanleavethat，’andweweresoupsetwedid，thoughitwasn’thisafterall。
Wewalkedhomeveryfastandnotsayingmuch，andthegirlswentuptotheirrooms。WhenIwenttotellthemteawasready，andtherewasateacake，DorawascryinglikeanythingandAlicehuggingher。
Iamafraidthereisagreatdealofcryinginthischapter，butI
can’thelpit。Girlswillsometimes;Isupposeitistheirnature，andweoughttobesorryfortheiraffliction。
’It’snogood，’Dorawassaying，’youallhateme，andyouthinkI’maprigandabusybody，butIdotrytodoright—oh，Ido！
Oswald，goaway;don’tcomeheremakingfunofme！’
SoIsaid，’I’mnotmakingfun，Sissy;don’tcry，oldgirl。’
MothertaughtmetocallherSissywhenwewereverylittleandbeforetheotherscame，butIdon’toftensomehow，nowweareold。
Ipattedherontheback，andsheputherheadagainstmysleeve，holdingontoAliceallthetime，andshewenton。Shewasinthatlaughy—cryeystatewhenpeoplesaythingstheywouldn’tsayatothertimes。
’Ohdear，ohdear—Idotry，Ido。AndwhenMotherdiedshesaid，"Dora，takecareoftheothers，andteachthemtobegood，andkeepthemoutoftroubleandmakethemhappy。"Shesaid，"Takecareofthemforme，Doradear。"AndIhavetried，andallofyouhatemeforit;andto—dayIletyoudothis，thoughIknewallthetimeitwassilly。’
IhopeyouwillnotthinkIwasamuffbutIkissedDoraforsometime。Becausegirlslikeit。AndIwillneversayagainthatshecomesthegoodeldersistertoomuch。AndIhaveputallthisinthoughIdohatetellingaboutit，becauseIownIhavebeenhardonDora，butIneverwillbeagain。Sheisagoodoldsort;ofcourseweneverknewbeforeaboutwhatMothertoldher，orwewouldn’thaveraggedheraswedid。Wedidnottellthelittleones，butIgotAlicetospeaktoDicky，andwethreecansitontheothersifrequisite。
Thismadeusforgetallaboutthesherry;butabouteighto’clocktherewasaknock，andElizawent，andwesawitwaspoorJane，ifhernamewasJane，fromtheVicarage。Shehandedinabrown—paperparcelandaletter。AndthreeminuteslaterFathercalledusintohisstudy。
Onthetablewasthebrown—paperparcel，open，withourbottleandglassonit，andFatherhadaletterinhishand。HePointedtothebottleandsighed，andsaid，’Whathaveyoubeendoingnow？’
Theletterinhishandwascoveredwithlittleblackwriting，alloverthefourlargepages。
SoDickyspokeup，andhetoldFatherthewholething，asfarasheknewit，forAliceandIhadnottoldaboutthedeadsailors’lady。
Andwhenhehaddone，Alicesaid，’HasMrMallowwrittentoyoutosayhewillbuyadozenofthesherryafterall？Itisreallynothalfbadwithsugarinit。’
Fathersaidno，hedidn’tthinkclergymencouldaffordsuchexpensivewine;andhesaidhewouldliketotasteit。Sowegavehimwhattherewasleft，forwehaddecidedcominghomethatwewouldgiveuptryingforthetwopoundsaweekinoursparetime。
Fathertastedit，andthenheactedjustasH。O。haddonewhenhehadhisteaspoonful，butofcoursewedidnotsayanything。ThenhelaughedtillIthoughthewouldneverstop。
Ithinkitwasthesherry，becauseIamsureIhavereadsomewhereabout’winethatmakethgladtheheartofman’。Hehadonlyaverylittle，whichshowsthatitwasagoodafter—dinnerwine，stimulating，andyet……Iforgettherest。
Butwhenhehaddonelaughinghesaid，’It’sallright，kids。Onlydon’tdoitagain。Thewinetradeisovercrowded;andbesides，I
thoughtyoupromisedtoconsultmebeforegoingintobusiness？’
’BeforebuyingoneIthoughtyoumeant，’saidDicky。’Thiswasonlyoncommission。’AndFatherlaughedagain。IamgladwegottheCastilianAmoroso，becauseitdidreallycheerFatherup，andyoucannotalwaysdothat，howeverhardyoutry，evenifyoumakejokes，orgivehimacomicpaper。
CHAPTER12
THENOBLENESSOFOSWALD
Thepartabouthisnoblenessonlycomesattheend，butyouwouldnotunderstanditunlessyouknewhowitbegan。Itbegan，likenearlyeverythingaboutthattime，withtreasure—seeking。
OfcourseassoonaswehadpromisedtoconsultmyFatheraboutbusinessmattersweallgaveupwantingtogointobusiness。I
don’tknowhowitis，buthavingtoconsultaboutathingwithgrown—uppeople，eventhebravestandthebest，seemstomakethethingnotworthdoingafterwards。
Wedon’tmindAlbert’sunclechippinginsometimeswhenthething’sgoingon，butwearegladheneveraskedustopromisetoconsulthimaboutanything。YetOswaldsawthatmyFatherwasquiteright;
andIdaresayifwehadhadthathundredpoundsweshouldhavespentitontheshareinthatlucrativebusinessforthesaleofusefulpatent，andthenfoundoutafterwardsthatweshouldhavedonebettertospendthemoneyinsomeotherway。MyFathersaysso，andheoughttoknow。Wehadseveralideasaboutthattime，buthavingsolittlechinkalwaysstoodintheway。
ThiswasthecasewithH。O。’sideaofsettingupacoconut—shyonthissideoftheHeath，wheretherearenonegenerally。Wehadnosticksorwoodenballs，andthegreengrocersaidhecouldnotbooksomanyastwelvedozencoconutswithoutMrBastable’swrittenorder。AndaswedidnotwishtoconsultmyFatheritwasdecidedtodropit。AndwhenAlicedressedupPincherinsomeofthedolls’clothesandwemadeupourmindstotakehimroundwithanorganassoonaswehadtaughthimtodance，wewerestoppedatoncebyDicky’srememberinghowhehadonceheardthatanorgancostsevenhundredpounds。Ofcoursethiswasthebigchurchkind，buteventheonesonthreelegscan’tbegotforone—and—sevenpence，whichwasallwehadwhenwefirstthoughtofit。Sowegavethatuptoo。
Itwasawetday，Iremember，andmuttonhashfordinner—verytoughwithpalegravywithlumpsinit。Ithinktheotherswouldhaveleftagooddealonthesidesoftheirplates，althoughtheyknowbetter，onlyOswaldsaiditwasasavourystewmadeofthereddeerthatEdwardshot。SothenweweretheChildrenoftheNewForest，andthemuttontastedmuchbetter。NooneintheNewForestmindsvenisonbeingtoughandthegravypale。
Thenafterdinnerweletthegirlshaveadolls’tea—party，onconditiontheydidn’texpectusboystowashup;anditwaswhenweweredrinkingthelastoftheliquoricewateroutofthelittlecupsthatDickysaid—
’Thisremindsme。’
Sowesaid，’Whatof？’
Dickyansweredusatonce，thoughhismouthwasfullofbreadwithliquoricestuckinittolooklikecake。Youshouldnotspeakwithyourmouthfull，eventoyourownrelations，andyoushouldn’twipeyourmouthonthebackofyourhand，butonyourhandkerchief，ifyouhaveone。Dickydidnotdothis。Hesaid—
’Why，yourememberwhenwefirstbeganabouttreasure—seeking，I
saidIhadthoughtofsomething，onlyIcouldnottellyoubecauseIhadn’tfinishedthinkingaboutit。’
Wesaid’Yes。’
’Well，thisliquoricewater—’
’Tea，’saidAlicesoftly。
’Well，teathen—mademethink。’Hewasgoingontosaywhatitmadehimthink，butNoelinterruptedandcriedout，’Isay;let’sfinishoffthisoldtea—partyandhaveacouncilofwar。’
Sowegotouttheflagsandthewoodenswordandthedrum，andOswaldbeatitwhilethegirlswashedup，tillElizacameuptosayshehadthejumpingtoothache，andthenoisewentthroughherlikeaknife。SoofcourseOswaldleftoffatonce。WhenyouarepolitetoOswaldheneverrefusestograntyourrequests。
Whenwewerealldressedupwesatdownroundthecampfire，andDickybeganagain。
’Everyoneintheworldwantsmoney。Somepeoplegetit。Thepeoplewhogetitaretheoneswhoseethings。Ihaveseenonething。’
Dickystoppedandsmokedthepipeofpeace。Itisthepipewedidbubbleswithinthesummer，andsomehowithasnotgotbrokenyet。
Weputtea—leavesinitforthepipeofpeace，butthegirlsarenotallowedtohaveany。Itisnotrighttoletgirlssmoke。Theygettothinktoomuchofthemselvesifyouletthemdoeverythingthesameasmen。Oswaldsaid，’Outwithit。’
’Iseethatglassbottlesonlycostapenny。H。O。，ifyoudaretosniggerI’llsendyouroundsellingoldbottles，andyoushan’thaveanysweetsexceptoutofthemoneyyougetforthem。Andthesamewithyou，Noel。’
’NoElwasn’tsniggering，’saidAliceinahurry;’itisonlyhistakingsomuchinterestinwhatyouweresayingmakeshimlooklikethat。Bequiet，H。O。，anddon’tyoumakefaces，either。Dogoon，Dickydear。’
SoDickywenton。
’Theremustbehundredsofmillionsofbottlesofmedicinessoldeveryyear。Becauseallthedifferentmedicinessay，"Thousandsofcuresdaily，"andifyouonlytakethatastwothousand，whichitmustbe，atleast，itmountsup。Andthepeoplewhosellthemmustmakeagreatdealofmoneybythembecausetheyarenearlyalwaystwo—and—ninepencethebottle，andthree—and—sixforonenearlydoublethesize。Nowthebottles，asIwassaying，don’tcostanythinglikethat。’
’It’sthemedicinecoststhemoney，’saidDora;’lookhowexpensivejujubesareatthechemist’s，andpeppermintstoo。’
’That’sonlybecausethey’renice，’Dickyexplained;’nastythingsarenotsodear。Lookwhatalotofbrimstoneyougetforapenny，andthesamewithalum。Wewouldnotputthenicekindsofchemist’sthingsinourmedicine。’
Thenhewentontotellusthatwhenwehadinventedourmedicinewewouldwriteandtelltheeditoraboutit，andhewouldputitinthepaper，andthenpeoplewouldsendtheirtwo—and—ninepenceandthree—and—sixforthebottlenearlydoublethesize，andthenwhenthemedicinehadcuredthemtheywouldwritetothepaperandtheirletterswouldbeprinted，sayinghowtheyhadbeensufferingforyears，andneverthoughttogetaboutagain，butthankstotheblessingofourointment—’
Dorainterruptedandsaid，’Notointment—it’ssomessy。’AndAlicethoughtsotoo。AndDickysaidhedidnotmeanit，hewasquitedecidedtoletitbeinbottles。Sonowitwasallsettled，andwedidnotseeatthetimethatthiswouldbeasortofgoingintobusiness，butafterwardswhenAlbert’suncleshoweduswesawit，andweweresorry。Weonlyhadtoinventthemedicine。Youmightthinkthatwaseasy，becauseofthenumberofthemyouseeeverydayinthepaper，butitismuchharderthanyouthink。
Firstwehadtodecidewhatsortofillnessweshouldliketocure，anda’heateddiscussionensued’，likeinParliament。
Dorawantedittobesomethingtomakethecomplexionofdazzlingfairness，butwerememberedhowherfacecameallredandroughwhensheusedtheRosabellasoapthatwasadvertisedtomakethedarkestcomplexionfairasthelily，andsheagreedthatperhapsitwasbetternot。Noelwantedtomakethemedicinefirstandthenfindoutwhatitwouldcure，butDickythoughtnot，becausetherearesomanymoremedicinesthantherearethingsthematterwithus，soitwouldbeeasiertochoosethediseasefirst。
Oswaldwouldhavelikedwounds。Istillthinkitwasagoodidea，butDickysaid，’Whohaswounds，especiallynowtherearen’tanywars？Weshouldn’tsellabottleaday！’SoOswaldgaveinbecauseheknowswhatmannersare，anditwasDicky’sidea。H。O。
wantedacurefortheuncomfortablefeelingthattheygiveyoupowdersfor，butweexplainedtohimthatgrown—uppeopledonothavethisfeeling，howevermuchtheyeat，andheagreed。Dickysaidhedidnotcareastrawwhattheloathsomediseasewas，aslongaswehurriedupandsettledonsomething。ThenAlicesaid—
’Itoughttobesomethingverycommon，andonlyonething。Notthepainsinthebackandallthehundredsofthingsthepeoplehaveinsomebody’ssyrup。What’sthecommonestthingofall？’
Andatoncewesaid，’Colds。’
Sothatwassettled。
Thenwewrotealabeltogoonthebottle。Whenitwaswrittenitwouldnotgoonthevinegarbottlethatwehadgot，butweknewitwouldgosmallwhenitwasprinted。Itwaslikethis：
BASTABLE’S
CERTAINCUREFORCOLDSCoughs，Asthma，ShortnessofBreath，andallinfectionsoftheChestOnedosegivesimmediatereliefItwillcureyourcoldinonebottleEspeciallythelargersizeat3s。6d。
OrderatonceoftheMakersTopreventdisappointmentMakers：
D。，O。，R。，A。，N。，andH。O。BASTABLE
150LewishamRoad，S。E。
（Ahalfpennyforallbottlesreturned）
Ofcoursethenextthingwasforoneofustocatchacoldandtrywhatcuredit;weallwantedtobetheone，butitwasDicky’sidea，andhesaidhewasnotgoingtobedoneoutofit，sowelethim。Itwasonlyfair。Heleftoffhisundershirtthatveryday，andnextmorninghestoodinadraughtinhisnightgownforquitealongtime。Andwedampedhisday—shirtwiththenail—brushbeforeheputiton。Butallwasvain。Theyalwaystellyouthatthesethingswillgiveyoucold，butwefounditwasnotso。
SothenweallwentovertothePark，andDickywentrightintothewaterwithhisbootson，andstoodthereaslongashecouldbearit，foritwasrathercold，andwestoodandcheeredhimon。Hewalkedhomeinhiswetclothes，whichtheysayisasurething，butitwasnogo，thoughhisbootswerequitespoiled。AndthreedaysafterNoelbegantocoughandsneeze。
SothenDickysaiditwasnotfair。
’Ican’thelpit，’Noelsaid。’Youshouldhavecaughtityourself，thenitwouldn’thavecometome。
AndAlicesaidshehadknownallalongNoeloughtn’ttohavestoodaboutonthebankcheeringinthecold。
Noelhadtogotobed，andthenwebegantomakethemedicines;weweresorryhewasoutofit，buthehadthefunoftakingthethings。
Wemadeagreatmanymedicines。Alicemadeherbtea。Shegotsageandthymeandsavoryandmarjoramandboiledthemalluptogetherwithsaltandwater，butsheWOULDputparsleyintoo。Oswaldissureparsleyisnotaherb。Itisonlyputonthecoldmeatandyouarenotsupposedtoeatit。Itkillsparrotstoeatparsley，Ibelieve。IexpectitwastheparsleythatdisagreedsowithNoel。Themedicinedidnotseemtodothecoughanygood。
Oswaldgotapennyworthofalum，becauseitissocheap，andsometurpentinewhicheveryoneknowsisgoodforcolds，andalittlesugarandananiseedball。Theseweremixedinabottlewithwater，butElizathrewitawayandsaiditwasnastyrubbish，andIhadn’tanymoneytogetmorethingswith。
Doramadehimsomegruel，andhesaiditdidhischestgood;butofcoursethatwasnouse，becauseyoucannotputgruelinbottlesandsayitismedicine。Itwouldnotbehonest，andbesidesnobodywouldbelieveyou。
Dickmixeduplemon—juiceandsugarandalittleofthejuiceoftheredflannelthatNoel’sthroatwasdoneupin。Itcomesoutbeautifullyinhotwater。NoEltookthisandhelikedit。NoEl’sownideawasliquorice—water，andwelethimhaveit，butitistooplainandblacktosellinbottlesattheproperprice。
NoEllikedH。O。’smedicinethebest，whichwassillyofhim，becauseitwasonlypeppermintsmeltedinhotwater，andalittlecobalttomakeitlookblue。Itwasallright，becauseH。O。’spaint—boxistheFrenchkind，withCouleursnonVgngneusesonit。
Thismeansyoumaysuckyourbrushesifyouwantto，orevenyourpaintsifyouareaverylittleboy。
ItwasratherjollywhileNoelhadthatcold。HehadafireinhisbedroomwhichopensoutofDicky’sandOswald’s，andthegirlsusedtoreadaloudtoNoelallday;theywillnotreadaloudtoyouwhenyouarewell。FatherwasawayatLiverpoolonbusiness，andAlbert’sunclewasatHastings。Wewererathergladofthis，becausewewishedtogiveallthemedicinesafairtrial，andgrown—upsarebuttoofondofinterfering。Asifweshouldhavegivenhimanythingpoisonous！
Hiscoldwenton—itwasbadinhishead，butitwasnotoneofthekindwhenhehastohavepoulticesandcan’tsitupinbed。
Butwhenithadbeeninhisheadnearlyaweek，OswaldhappenedtotumbleoverAliceonthestairs。Whenwegotupshewascrying。
’Don’tcrysilly！’saidOswald;’youknowIdidn’thurtyou。’I
wasverysorryifIhadhurther，butyououghtnottositonthestairsinthedarkandletotherpeopletumbleoveryou。Yououghttorememberhowbeastlyitisforthemiftheydohurtyou。
’Oh，it’snotthat，Oswald，’Alicesaid。’Don’tbeapig！Iamsomiserable。Dobekindtome。’
SoOswaldthumpedheronthebackandtoldhertoshutup。
’It’saboutNoel，’shesaid。’I’msurehe’sveryill;andplayingaboutwithmedicinesisallverywell，butIknowhe’sill，andElizawon’tsendforthedoctor：shesaysit’sonlyacold。AndI
knowthedoctor’sbillsareawful。IheardFathertellingAuntEmilysointhesummer。Buthewas，andperhapshe’lldieorsomething。’
Thenshebegantocryagain。Oswaldthumpedheragain，becauseheknowshowagoodbrotheroughttobehave，andsaid，’Cheerup。’IfwehadbeeninabookOswaldwouldhaveembracedhislittlesistertenderly，andmingledhistearswithhers。
ThenOswaldsaid，’WhynotwritetoFather？’
Andshecriedmoreandsaid，’I’velostthepaperwiththeaddress。
H。O。hadittodrawonthebackof，andIcan’tfinditnow;I’velookedeverywhere。I’lltellyouwhatI’mgoingtodo。NoI
won’t。ButI’mgoingout。Don’ttelltheothers。AndIsay，Oswald，dopretendI’minifElizaasks。Promise。’
’Tellmewhatyou’regoingtodo，’Isaid。Butshesaid’No’;andtherewasagoodreasonwhynot。SoIsaidIwouldn’tpromiseifitcametothat。OfcourseImeanttoallright。Butitdidseemmeanofhernottotellme。
SoAlicewentoutbythesidedoorwhileElizawassettingtea，andshewasalongtimegone;shewasnotintotea。WhenElizaaskedOswaldwhereshewashesaidhedidnotknow，butperhapsshewastidyinghercornerdrawer。Girlsoftendothis，andittakesalongtime。NoElcoughedagoodbitaftertea，andaskedforAlice。
Oswaldtoldhimshewasdoingsomethinganditwasasecret。
Oswalddidnottellanylieseventosavehissister。WhenAlicecamebackshewasveryquiet，butshewhisperedtoOswaldthatitwasallright。WhenitwasratherlateElizasaidshewasgoingouttopostaletter。Thisalwaystakesheranhour，becausesheWILLgotothepost—officeacrosstheHeathinsteadofthepillar—box，becauseonceaboydroppedfuseesinourpillar—boxandburnttheletters。Itwasnotanyofus;Elizatoldusaboutit。
AndwhentherewasaknockatthedooralongtimeafterwethoughtitwasElizacomeback，andthatshehadforgottentheback—doorkey。WemadeH。O。godowntoopenthedoor，becauseitishisplacetorunabout：hislegsareyoungerthanours。AndweheardbootsonthestairsbesidesH。O。’s，andwelistenedspellboundtillthedooropened，anditwasAlbert’suncle。Helookedverytired。
’Iamgladyou’vecome，’Oswaldsaid。’AlicebegantothinkNoel—’
Alicestoppedme，andherfacewasveryred，hernosewasshinytoo，withhavingcriedsomuchbeforetea。
Shesaid，’IonlysaidIthoughtNoeloughttohavethedoctor。
Don’tyouthinkheought？’ShegotholdofAlbert’suncleandheldontohim。
’Let’shavealookatyou，youngman，’saidAlbert’suncle，andhesatdownontheedgeofthebed。Itisarathershakybed，thebarthatkeepsitsteadyunderneathgotbrokenwhenwewereplayingburglarslastwinter。Itwasourcrowbar。HebegantofeelNoel’spulse，andwentontalking。
’ItwasrevealedtotheArabphysicianashemademerryinhistentsonthewildplainsofHastingsthatthePresencehadacoldinitshead。Soheimmediatelyseatedhimselfonthemagiccarpet，andbadeitbearhimhither，onlypausingintheflighttopurchaseafewsweetmeatsinthebazaar。’
Hepulledoutajollylotofchocolateandsomebutterscotch，andgrapesforNoel。Whenwehadallsaidthankyou，hewenton。
’Thephysician’sarethewordsofwisdom：it’shightimethiskidwasasleep。Ihavespoken。Yehavemyleavetodepart。’
Sowebunked，andDoraandAlbert’sunclemadeNoelcomfortableforthenight。
Thentheycametothenurserywhichwehadgonedownto，andhesatdownintheGuyFawkeschairandsaid，’Nowthen。’
Alicesaid，’YoumaytellthemwhatIdid。Idaresaythey’llallbeinawax，butIdon’tcare。’
’Ithinkyouwereverywise，’saidAlbert’suncle，pullingherclosetohimtositonhisknee。’Iamverygladyoutelegraphed。’
SothenOswaldunderstoodwhatAlice’ssecretwas。ShehadgoneoutandsentatelegramtoAlbert’suncleatHastings。ButOswaldthoughtshemighthavetoldhim。Afterwardsshetoldmewhatshehadputinthetelegram。Itwas，’Comehome。WehavegivenNoelacold，andIthinkwearekillinghim。’Withtheaddressitcametotenpence—halfpenny。
ThenAlbert’sunclebegantoaskquestions，anditallcameout，howDickyhadtriedtocatchthecold，butthecoldhadgonetoNoelinstead，andaboutthemedicinesandall。Albert’sunclelookedveryserious。
’Lookhere，’hesaid，’You’reoldenoughnottoplaythefoollikethis。Healthisthebestthingyou’vegot;yououghttoknowbetterthantoriskit。Youmighthavekilledyourlittlebrotherwithyourpreciousmedicines。You’vehadaluckyescape，certainly。ButpoorNoel！’
’Oh，doyouthinkhe’sgoingtodie？’Aliceaskedthat，andshewascryingagain。
’No，no，’saidAlbert’suncle;’butlookhere。Doyouseehowsillyyou’vebeen？AndIthoughtyoupromisedyourFather—’Andthenhegaveusalongtalking—to。HecanmakeyoufeelmostawfullySmall。Atlasthestopped，andwesaidwewereverysorry，andhesaid，’YouknowIpromisedtotakeyoualltothepantomime？’
Sowesaid，’Yes，’andknewbuttoowellthatnowhewasn’tgoingto。Thenhewenton—
’Well，Iwilltakeyouifyoulike，orIwilltakeNoeltotheseaforaweektocurehiscold。Whichisittobe？’
Ofcourseheknewweshouldsay，’TakeNoel’andwedid;butDickytoldmeafterwardshethoughtitwashardonH。O。
Albert’sunclestayedtillElizacamein，andthenhesaidgoodnightinawaythatshowedusthatallwasforgivenandforgotten。
Andwewenttobed。ItmusthavebeenthemiddleofthenightwhenOswaldwokeupsuddenly，andtherewasAlicewithherteethchattering，shakinghimtowakehim。
’Oh，Oswald！’shesaid，’Iamsounhappy。SupposeIshoulddieinthenight！’
Oswaldtoldhertogotobedandnotgas。Butshesaid，’Imusttellyou;IwishI’dtoldAlbert’suncle。I’mathief，andifI
dieto—nightIknowwherethievesgoto。’SoOswaldsawitwasnogoodandhesatupinbedandsaid—’Goahead。’SoAlicestoodshiveringandsaid—’Ihadn’tenoughmoneyforthetelegram，soI
tookthebadsixpenceoutoftheexchequer。AndIpaidforitwiththatandthefivepenceIhad。AndIwouldn’ttellyou，becauseifyou’dstoppedmedoingitIcouldn’thaveborneit;andifyou’dhelpedmeyou’dhavebeenathieftoo。Oh，whatshallIdo？’
Oswaldthoughtaminute，andthenhesaid—
’You’dbetterhavetoldme。ButIthinkitwillbeallrightifwepayitback。Gotobed。Crosswithyou？No，stupid！Onlyanothertimeyou’dbetternotkeepsecrets。’
SoshekissedOswald，andhelether，andshewentbacktobed。
ThenextdayAlbert’suncletookNoelaway，beforeOswaldhadtimetopersuadeAlicethatweoughttotellhimaboutthesixpence。
Alicewasveryunhappy，butnotsomuchasinthenight：youcanbeverymiserableinthenightifyouhavedoneanythingwrongandyouhappentobeawake。Iknowthisforafact。
NoneofushadanymoneyexceptEliza，andshewouldn’tgiveusanyunlesswesaidwhatfor;andofcoursewecouldnotdothatbecauseofthehonourofthefamily。AndOswaldwasanxioustogetthesixpencetogivetothetelegraphpeoplebecausehefearedthatthebadnessofthatsixpencemighthavebeenfoundout，andthatthepolicemightcomeforAliceatanymoment。Idon’tthinkIeverhadsuchanunhappyday。OfcoursewecouldhavewrittentoAlbert’suncle，butitwouldhavetakenalongtime，andeverymomentofdelayaddedtoAlice’sdanger。Wethoughtandthought，butwecouldn’tthinkofanywaytogetthatsixpence。Itseemsasmallsum，butyouseeAlice’slibertydependedonit。ItwasquitelateintheafternoonwhenImetMrsLeslieontheParade。
Shehadabrownfurcoatandalotofyellowflowersinherhands。
Shestoppedtospeaktome，andaskedmehowthePoetwas。Itoldherhehadacold，andIwonderedwhethershewouldlendmesixpenceifIaskedher，butIcouldnotmakeupmymindhowtobegintosayit。Itisahardthingtosay—muchharderthanyouwouldthink。Shetalkedtomeforabit，andthenshesuddenlygotintoacab，andsaid—
’I’dnoideaitwassolate，’andtoldthemanwheretogo。Andjustasshestartedsheshovedtheyellowflowersthroughthewindowandsaid，’Forthesickpoet，withmylove，’andwasdrivenoff。
Gentlereader，IwillnotconcealfromyouwhatOswalddid。Heknewallaboutnotdisgracingthefamily，andhedidnotlikedoingwhatIamgoingtosay：andtheywerereallyNoel’sflowers，onlyhecouldnothavesentthemtoHastings，andOswaldknewhewouldsay’Yes’ifOswaldaskedhim。Oswaldsacrificedhisfamilypridebecauseofhislittlesister’sdanger。Idonotsayhewasanobleboy—Ijusttellyouwhathedid，andyoucandecideforyourselfaboutthenobleness。
Heputonhisoldestclothes—they’remucholderthananyyouwouldthinkhehadifyousawhimwhenhewastidy—andhetookthoseyellowchrysanthemumsandhewalkedwiththemtoGreenwichStationandwaitedforthetrainsbringingpeoplefromLondon。Hesoldthoseflowersinpennybunchesandgottenpence。ThenhewenttothetelegraphofficeatLewisham，andsaidtotheladythere：
’Alittlegirlgaveyouabadsixpenceyesterday。Herearesixgoodpennies。’
Theladysaidshehadnotnoticedit，andnevermind，butOswaldknewthat’HonestyisthebestPolicy’，andherefusedtotakebackthepennies。SoatlastshesaidsheshouldputthemintheplateonSunday。Sheisaverynicelady。Ilikethewayshedoesherhair。
ThenOswaldwenthometoAliceandtoldher，andshehuggedhim，andsaidhewasadear，good，kindboy，andhesaid’Oh，it’sallright。’
WeboughtpeppermintbullseyeswiththefourpenceIhadover，andtheotherswantedtoknowwherewegotthemoney，butwewouldnottell。
OnlyafterwardswhenNoelcamehomewetoldhim，becausetheywerehisflowers，andhesaiditwasquiteright。Hemadesomepoetryaboutit。Ionlyrememberonebitofit。
ThenobleyouthofhighdegreeConsentstoplayamenialpart，AllforhissisterAlice’ssake，Whowassodeartohisfaithfulheart。
ButOswaldhimselfhasneverbraggedaboutit。Wegotnotreasureoutofthis，unlessyoucountthepeppermintbullseyes。
CHAPTER13
THEROBBERANDTHEBURGLAR
AdayortwoafterNoelcamebackfromHastingstherewassnow;itwasjolly。Andwecleareditoffthepath。Amantodoitissixpenceatleast，andyoushouldalwayssavewhenyoucan。A
pennysavedisapennyearned。Andthenwethoughtitwouldbenicetoclearitoffthetopoftheportico，whereitliessothick，andtheedgesasiftheyhadbeencutwithaknife。Andjustaswehadgotoutofthelanding—windowontotheportico，theWaterRatescameupthepathwithhisbookthathetearsthethingoutofthatsayshowmuchyouhavegottopay，andthelittleink—bottlehungontohisbuttonholeincaseyoushouldpayhim。
FathersaystheWaterRatesisasensibleman，andknowsitisalwayswelltobepreparedforwhateverhappens，howeverunlikely。
AlicesaidafterwardsthatsheratherlikedtheWaterRates，really，andNoelsaidhehadafacelikeagoodvizier，orthemanwhorewardsthehonestboyforrestoringthepurse，butwedidnotthinkaboutthesethingsatthetime，andastheWaterRatescameupthesteps，weshovelleddownagreatsquareslabofsnowlikeanavalanche—anditfellrightonhishead。Twoofusthoughtofitatthesamemoment，soitwasquitealargeavalanche。AndwhentheWaterRateshadshakenhimselfherangthebell。ItwasSaturday，andFatherwasathome。WeknownowthatitisverywrongandungentlemanlytoshovelsnowoffporticoesontotheWaterRates，oranyotherperson，andwehopehedidnotcatchacold，andweareverysorry。WeapologizedtotheWaterRateswhenFathertoldusto。Wewereallsenttobedforit。
Wealldeservedthepunishment，becausetheotherswouldhaveshovelleddownsnowjustaswedidifthey’dthoughtofit—onlytheyarenotsoquickatthinkingofthingsasweare。Andevenquitewrongthingssometimesleadtoadventures;aseveryoneknowswhohaseverreadaboutpiratesorhighwaymen。
Elizahatesustobesenttobedearly，becauseitmeansherhavingtobringmealsup，anditmeanslightingthefireinNoel’sroomeversomuchearlierthanusual。Hehadtohaveafirebecausehestillhadabitofacold。ButthisparticulardaywegotElizaintoagoodtemperbygivingherahorridbroochwithpretendingamethystsinit，thatanauntoncegavetoAlice，soElizabroughtupanextrascuttleofcoals，andwhenthegreengrocercamewiththepotatoes（heisalwayslateonSaturdays）shegotsomechestnutsfromhim。SothatwhenweheardFathergooutafterhisdinner，therewasajollyfireinNoel’sroom，andwewereabletogoinandbeRedIndiansinblanketsmostcomfortably。Elizahadgoneout;shesaysshegetsthingscheaperonSaturdaynights。Shehasagreatfriend，whosellsfishatashop，andheisverygenerous，andletsherhaveherringsforlessthanhalfthenaturalprice。
Sowewereallaloneinthehouse;PincherwasoutwithEliza，andwetalkedaboutrobbers。AndDorathoughtitwouldbeadreadfultrade，butDickysaid—
’Ithinkitwouldbeveryinteresting。Andyouwouldonlyrobrichpeople，andbeverygeneroustothepoorandneedy，likeClaudeDuval。’
Dorasaid，’Itiswrongtobearobber。’
’Yes，’saidAlice，’youwouldneverknowahappyhour。Thinkoftryingtosleepwiththestolenjewelsunderyourbed，andrememberingallthequantitiesofpolicemenanddetectivesthatthereareintheworld！’
’Therearewaysofbeingrobbersthatarenotwrong，’saidNoel;
’ifyoucanrobarobberitisarightact。’
’Butyoucan’t，’saidDora;’heistooclever，andbesides，it’swronganyway。’
’Yesyoucan，anditisn’t;andmurderinghimwithboilingoilisarightact，too，sothere！’saidNoel。’WhataboutAliBaba？Nowthen！’AndwefeltitwasascoreforNoEl。
’Whatwouldyoudoiftherewasarobber？’saidAlice。
H。O。saidhewouldkillhimwithboilingoil;butAliceexplainedthatshemeantarealrobber—now—thisminute—inthehouse。
OswaldandDickydidnotsay;butNoelsaidhethoughtitwouldonlybefairtoasktherobberquitepolitelyandquietlytogoaway，andthenifhedidn’tyoucoulddealwithhim。
NowwhatIamgoingtotellyouisaverystrangeandwonderfulthing，andIhopeyouwillbeabletobelieveit。Ishouldnot，ifaboytoldme，unlessIknewhimtobeamanofhonour，andperhapsnotthenunlesshegavehissacredword。Butitistrue，allthesame，anditonlyshowsthatthedaysofromanceanddaringdeedsarenotyetatanend。
AlicewasjustaskingNoelhowhewoulddealwiththerobberwhowouldn’tgoifhewasaskedpolitelyandquietly，whenweheardanoisedownstairs—quiteaplainnoise，notthekindofnoiseyoufancyyouhear。Itwaslikesomebodymovingachair。Weheldourbreathandlistenedandthencameanothernoise，likesomeonepokingafire。Now，youremembertherewasnoonetopokeafireormoveachairdownstairs，becauseElizaandFatherwerebothout。
Theycouldnothavecomeinwithoutourhearingthem，becausethefrontdoorisashardtoshutasthebackone，andwhicheveryougoinbyyouhavetogiveaslamthatyoucanhearalldownthestreet。
H。O。andAliceandDoracaughtholdofeachother’sblanketsandlookedatDickyandOswald，andeveryonewasquitepale。AndNoelwhispered—
’It’sghosts，Iknowitis’—andthenwelistenedagain，buttherewasnomorenoise。PresentlyDorasaidinawhisper—
’Whatevershallwedo？Oh，whatevershallwedo—whatshallwedo？’
Andshekeptonsayingittillwehadtotellhertoshutup。
Oreader，haveyoueverbeenplayingRedIndiansinblanketsroundabedroomfireinahousewhereyouthoughttherewasnoonebutyou—andthensuddenlyheardanoiselikeachair，andafirebeingpoked，downstairs？Unlessyouhaveyouwillnotbeabletoimagineatallwhatitfeelslike。Itwasnotlikeinbooks;ourhairdidnotstandonendatall，andweneversaid’Hist！’once，butourfeetgotverycold，thoughwewereinblanketsbythefire，andtheinsidesofOswald’shandsgotwarmandwet，andhisnosewascoldlikeadog’s，andhisearswereburninghot。
Thegirlssaidafterwardsthattheyshiveredwithterror，andtheirteethchattered，butwedidnotseeorhearthisatthetime。
’Shallweopenthewindowandcallpolice？’saidDora;andthenOswaldsuddenlythoughtofsomething，andhebreathedmorefreelyandhesaid—
’Iknowit’snotghosts，andIdon’tbelieveit’srobbers。I
expectit’sastraycatgotinwhenthecoalscamethismorning，andshe’sbeenhidinginthecellar，andnowshe’smovingabout。
Let’sgodownandsee。’
Thegirlswouldn’t，ofcourse;butIcouldseethattheybreathedmorefreelytoo。ButDickysaid，’Allright;Iwillifyouwill。’
H。O。said，’Doyouthinkit’sreallyacat？’Sowesaidhehadbetterstaywiththegirls。AndofcourseafterthatwehadtolethimandAlicebothcome。DorasaidifwetookNoeldownwithhiscold，shewouldscream’Fire！’and’Murder！’andshedidn’tmindifthewholestreetheard。
SoNoelagreedtobegettinghisclotheson，andtherestofussaidwewouldgodownandlookforthecat。
NowOswaldsaidthataboutthecat，anditmadeiteasiertogodown，butinhisinsidehedidnotfeelatallsurethatitmightnotberobbersafterall。Ofcourse，wehadoftentalkedaboutrobbersbefore，butitisverydifferentwhenyousitinaroomandlistenandlistenandlisten;andOswaldfeltsomehowthatitwouldbeeasiertogodownandseewhatitwas，thantowait，andlisten，andwait，andwait，andlisten，andwait，andthenperhapstohearIt，whateveritwas，comecreepingslowlyupthestairsassoftlyasItcouldwithItsbootsoff，andthestairscreaking，towardstheroomwherewewerewiththedooropenincaseofElizacomingbacksuddenly，andalldarkonthelandings。Andthenitwouldhavebeenjustasbad，anditwouldhavelastedlonger，andyouwouldhaveknownyouwereacowardbesides。
Dickysayshefeltallthesesamethings。Manypeoplewouldsaywewereyoungheroestogodownaswedid;soIhavetriedtoexplain，becausenoyoungherowishestohavemorecreditthanhedeserves。
Thelandinggaswasturneddownlow—justabluebead—andwefourwentoutverysoftly，wrappedinourblankets，andwestoodonthetopofthestairsagoodlongtimebeforewebegantogodown。
Andwelistenedandlistenedtillourearsbuzzed。
AndOswaldwhisperedtoDicky，andDickywentintoourroomandfetchedthelargetoypistolthatisafootlong，andthathasthetriggerbroken，andItookitbecauseIamtheeldest;andIdon’tthinkeitherofusthoughtitwasthecatnow。ButAliceandH。O。
did。DickygotthepokeroutofNoel’sroom，andtoldDoraitwastosettlethecatwithwhenwecaughther。
ThenOswaldwhispered，’Let’splayatburglars;DickyandIarearmedtotheteeth，wewillgofirst。Youkeepaflightbehindus，andbeareinforcementifweareattacked。Oryoucanretreatanddefendthewomenandchildreninthefortress，ifyou’drather。’
Buttheysaidtheywouldbeareinforcement。
Oswald’steethchatteredalittlewhenhespoke。Itwasnotwithanythingelseexceptcold。
SoDickyandOswaldcreptdown，andwhenwegottothebottomofthestairs，wesawFather’sstudydoorjustajar，andthecrackoflight。AndOswaldwassopleasedtoseethelight，knowingthatburglarspreferthedark，oratanyratethedarklantern，thathefeltreallysureitwasthecatafterall，andthenhethoughtitwouldbefuntomaketheothersupstairsthinkitwasreallyarobber。Sohecockedthepistol—youcancockit，butitdoesn’tgooff—andhesaid，’Comeon，Dick！’andherushedatthestudydoorandburstintotheroom，crying，’Surrender！youarediscovered！Surrender，orIfire！Throwupyourhands！’
And，ashefinishedsayingit，hesawbeforehim，standingonthestudyhearthrug，aRealRobber。Therewasnomistakeaboutit。
Oswaldwassureitwasarobber，becauseithadascrewdriverinitshands，andwasstandingnearthecupboarddoorthatH。O。brokethelockoff;andthereweregimletsandscrewsandthingsonthefloor。Thereisnothinginthatcupboardbutoldledgersandmagazinesandthetoolchest，butofcourse，arobbercouldnotknowthatbeforehand。
WhenOswaldsawthattherereallywasarobber，andthathewassoheavilyarmedwiththescrewdriver，hedidnotfeelcomfortable。
Buthekeptthepistolpointedattherobber，and—youwillhardlybelieveit，butitistrue—therobberthrewdownthescrewdriverclatteringontheothertools，andhedidthrowuphishands，andsaid—
’Isurrender;don’tshootme！Howmanyofyouarethere？’
SoDickysaid，’Youareoutnumbered。Areyouarmed？’
Andtherobbersaid，’No，notintheleast。’
AndOswaldsaid，stillpointingthepistol，andfeelingverystrongandbraveandasifhewasinabook，’Turnoutyourpockets。’
Therobberdid：andwhileheturnedthemOut，welookedathim。Hewasofthemiddleheight，andcladinablackfrock—coatandgreytrousers。Hisbootswerealittlegoneatthesides，andhisshirt—cuffswereabitfrayed，butotherwisehewasofgentlemanlydemeanour。Hehadathin，wrinkledface，withbig，lighteyesthatsparkled，andthenlookedsoftveryqueerly，andashortbeard。Inhisyouthitmusthavebeenofafairgoldencolour，butnowitwastingedwithgrey。Oswaldwassorryforhim，especiallywhenhesawthatoneofhispocketshadalargeholeinit，andthathehadnothinginhispocketsbutlettersandstringandthreeboxesofmatches，andapipeandahandkerchiefandathintobaccopouchandtwopennies。Wemadehimputallthethingsonthetable，andthenhesaid—
’Well，you’vecaughtme;whatareyougoingtodowithme？
Police？’
AliceandH。O。hadcomedowntobereinforcements，whentheyheardashout，andwhenAlicesawthatitwasaRealRobber，andthathehadsurrendered，sheclappedherhandsandsaid，’Bravo，boys！’andsodidH。O。Andnowshesaid，’Ifhegiveshiswordofhonournottoescape，Ishouldn’tcallthepolice：itseemsapity。WaittillFathercomeshome。’
Therobberagreedtothis，andgavehiswordofhonour，andaskedifhemightputonapipe，andwesaid’Yes，’andhesatinFather’sarmchairandwarmedhisboots，whichsteamed，andIsentH。O。andAlicetoputonsomeclothesandtelltheothers，andbringdownDicky’sandmyknickerbockers，andtherestofthechestnuts。
Andtheyallcame，andwesatroundthefire，anditwasjolly。
Therobberwasveryfriendly，andtalkedtousagreatdeal。
’Iwasn’talwaysinthislowwayofbusiness，’hesaid，whenNoelsaidsomethingaboutthethingshehadturnedoutofhispockets。
’It’sagreatcome—downtoamanlikeme。But，ifImustbecaught，it’ssomethingtobecaughtbybraveyoungheroeslikeyou。
Mystars！Howyoudidboltintotheroom，—"Surrender，andupwithyourhands！"Youmighthavebeenbornandbredtothethief—catching。’
Oswaldissorryifitwasmean，buthecouldnotownupjustthenthathedidnotthinktherewasanyoneinthestudywhenhedidthatbraveifrashact。Hehastoldsince。
’Andwhatmadeyouthinktherewasanyoneinthehouse？’therobberasked，whenhehadthrownhisheadback，andlaughedforquitehalfaminute。Sowetoldhim。Andheapplaudedourvalour，andAliceandH。O。explainedthattheywouldhavesaid’Surrender，’too，onlytheywerereinforcements。
Therobberatesomeofthechestnuts—andwesatandwonderedwhenFatherwouldcomehome，andwhathewouldsaytousforourintrepidconduct。Andtherobbertoldusofallthethingshehaddonebeforehebegantobreakintohouses。Dickypickedupthetoolsfromthefloor，andsuddenlyhesaid—
’Why，thisisFather’sscrewdriverandhisgimlets，andall！Well，Idocallitjollycheektopickaman’slockswithhisowntools！’
’True，true，’saidtherobber。’Itischeek，ofthejolliest！ButyouseeI’vecomedownintheworld。Iwasahighwayrobberonce，buthorsesaresoexpensivetohire—fiveshillingsanhour，youknow—andIcouldn’taffordtokeepthem。Thehighwaymanbusinessisn’twhatitwas。’
’Whataboutabike？’saidH。O。
Buttherobberthoughtcycleswerelow—andbesidesyoucouldn’tgoacrosscountrywiththemwhenoccasionarose，asyoucouldwithatrustysteed。Andhetalkedofhighwaymenasifheknewjusthowwelikedhearingit。
Thenhetoldushowhehadbeenapiratecaptain—andhowhehadsailedoverwavesmountainshigh，andgainedrichprizes—andhowhedidbegintothinkthatherehehadfoundaprofessiontohismind。
’Idon’tsaytherearenoupsanddownsinit，’hesaid，’especiallyinstormyweather。Butwhatatrade！Andaswordatyourside，andtheJollyRogerflyingatthepeak，andaprizeinsight。Andalltheblackmouthsofyourgunspointedattheladentrader—andthewindinyourfavour，andyourtrustycrewreadytoliveanddieforyou！Oh—butit’sagrandlife！’
Ididfeelsosorryforhim。Heusedsuchnicewords，andhehadagentleman’svoice。
’I’msureyouweren’tbroughtuptobeapirate，’saidDora。Shehaddressedeventohercollar—andmadeNoeldoittoo—buttherestofuswereinblanketswithjustafewoddthingsputonanyhowunderneath。
Therobberfrownedandsighed。
’No，’hesaid，’Iwasbroughtuptothelaw。IwasatBalliol，blessyourhearts，andthat’strueanyway。’Hesighedagain，andlookedhardatthefire。
’ThatwasmyFather’scollege，’H。O。wasbeginning，butDickysaid—’Whydidyouleaveoffbeingapirate？’
’Apirate？’hesaid，asifhehadnotbeenthinkingofsuchthings。
’Oh，yes;whyIgaveitupbecause—becauseIcouldnotgetoverthedreadfulsea—sickness。’
’Nelsonwassea—sick，’saidOswald。
’Ah，’saidtherobber;’butIhadn’thisluckorhispluck，orsomething。HestucktoitandwonTrafalgar，didn’the？"Kissme，Hardy"—andallthat，eh？Icouldn’tsticktoit—Ihadtoresign。Andnobodykissedme。’
IsawbyhisunderstandingaboutNelsonthathewasreallyamanwhohadbeentoagoodschoolaswellastoBalliol。
Thenweaskedhim，’Andwhatdidyoudothen？’
AndAliceaskedifhewaseveracoiner，andwetoldhimhowwehadthoughtwe’dcaughtthedesperategangnextdoor，andhewasverymuchinterestedandsaidhewasgladhehadnevertakentocoining。
’Besides，thecoinsaresouglynowadays，’hesaid，’noonecouldreallyfindanypleasureinmakingthem。Andit’sahole—and—cornerbusinessatthebest，isn’tit？—anditmustbeaverythirstyone—withthehotmetalandfurnacesandthings。’
Andagainhelookedatthefire。
Oswaldforgotforaminutethattheinterestingstrangerwasarobber，andaskedhimifhewouldn’thaveadrink。OswaldhasheardFatherdothistohisfriends，soheknowsitistherightthing。Therobbersaidhedidn’tmindifhedid。Andthatisright，too。
AndDorawentandgotabottleofFather’sale—theLightSparklingFamily—andaglass，andwegaveittotherobber。Dorasaidshewouldberesponsible。
Thenwhenhehadhadadrinkhetoldusaboutbandits，buthesaiditwassobadinwetweather。Bandits’caveswerehardlyeverproperlyweathertight。Andbush—rangingwasthesame。
’Asamatteroffact，’hesaid，’Iwasbush—rangingthisafternoon，amongthefurze—bushesontheHeath，butIhadnoluck。IstoppedtheLordMayorinhisgiltcoach，withallhisfootmeninplushandgoldlace，smartascockatoos。Butitwasnogo。TheLordMayorhadn’tastiverinhispockets。Oneofthefootmenhadsixnewpennies：theLordMayoralwayspayshisservants’wagesinnewpennies。Ispentfourpenceofthatinbreadandcheese，thatonthetable’sthetuppence。Ah，it’sapoortrade！’Andthenhefilledhispipeagain。
Wehadturnedoutthegas，sothatFathershouldhaveajollygoodsurprisewhenhedidcomehome，andwesatandtalkedaspleasantascouldbe。IneverlikedanewmanbetterthanIlikedthatrobber。AndIfeltsosorryforhim。Hetoldushehadbeenawar—correspondentandaneditor，inhappierdays，aswellasahorse—stealerandacolonelofdragoons。
Andquitesuddenly，justasweweretellinghimaboutLordTottenhamandourbeinghighwaymenourselves，heputuphishandandsaid’Shish！’andwewerequietandlistened。
Therewasascrape，scrape，scrapingnoise;itcamefromdownstairs。