首页 >出版文学> TALES FROM TWO HEMISPHERES>第4章
  And,indeed,shewassadlychanged!Herfeatureshadbecomesharper,andthefirmlinesabouthermouthexpressedseverity,almoststernness。Herclearblueeyesseemedtohavegrownlarger,andtheirglancebetrayedsecret,ever—watchfulcare。Onlyheryellowhairhadresistedtheforceoftimeandsorrow;foritstillfellinrichandwavyfoldsoverasmoothwhiteforehead。Shewas,indeed,halfashamedofit,andoftentookpainstoforceitintoasober,matronlyhood。Onlyatnights,whenshesatalonetalkingwithherboy,shewouldallowittoescapefromitsprison;andhewouldlaughandplaywithit,andinhischild’swayevenwonderatthecontrastbetweenhersternfaceandheryouthfulmaidenlytresses。
  ThisThomas,herson,wasastrangechild。
  HehadaNorseman’stasteforthefabulousandfantastic,andalthoughheneverheardataleofNeckenortheHulder,hewouldoftenstartlehismotherbythemostfancifulcombinationsofimaginedevents,andbybolderpersonificationsthaneversprungfromthelegendarysoiloftheNorseland。Shealwaystookcaretocheckhimwheneverheindulgedintheseimaginaryflights,andheatlastcametolookuponthemassomethingwrongandsinful。Theboy,ashegrewup,oftenstrikinglyremindedherofherfather,as,indeed,heseemedtohaveinheritedmorefromherownthanfromHalvard’srace。Onlythebrightflaxenhairandhissquare,somewhatclumsystaturemighthavetoldhimtobethelatter’schild。Hehadahottemper,andoftendistressedhismotherbyhisstubbornness;
  andthentherewouldcomeagreatburstofrepentanceafterwards,whichdistressedherstillmore。Forshewasafraiditmightbeasignofweakness。"Andstronghemustbe,"
  saidshetoherself,"strongenoughtoovercomeallresistance,andtoconqueragreatnameforhimself,strongenoughtoblessamotherwhobroughthimintotheworldnameless。"
  Strangetosay,muchasshelovedthischild,sheseldomcaressedhim。Itwasapenanceshehadimposeduponherselftoatoneforherguilt。
  Onlyattimes,whenshehadbeensittinguplate,andhereyeswouldfall,asitwere,byaccidentuponthelittlefaceonthepillow,withthesweetunconsciousnessofsleeprestinguponitlikeasoft,invisibleveil,wouldshesuddenlythrowherselfdownoverhim,kisshim,andwhispertendernamesinhisear,whilehertearsfellhotandfastonhisyellowhairandhisrosycountenance。Thenthechildwoulddreamthathewassailingaloftovershiningforests,andthathismother,beamingwithallthebeautyofherlostyouth,flewbeforehim,showeringgoldenflowersonhispath。ThesewerethehappiestmomentsofBrita’sjoylesslife,andeventhesewerenotunmixedwithbitterness;
  forintothemidstofherjoywouldstealashyanxiousthoughtwhichwasthemoreterriblebecauseitcamesostealthily,sosoft—footedandunbidden。Hadnotthischildbeengivenherasapunishmentforherguilt?HadshethenarighttoturnGod’sscourgeintoablessing?
  DidshegivetoGod"thatwhichbelongethuntoGod,"aslongasallherhopes,herthoughts,andherwholebeingrevolvedaboutthisoneearthlything,herson,thechildofhersorrow?
  Shewasnotanaturetoshrinkfromgravequestions;
  no,shemetthemboldly,whenoncetheywerethere,wrestledfiercelywiththem,wasdefeated,andagainwithamartyr’szealrosetorenewthecombat。GodhadHimselfsentherthisperplexingdoubtanditwasherdutytobearHisburden。ThusranBrita’sreasoning。
  Inthemeanwhiletheyearsslippedby,andgreatchangeswerewroughtintheworldabouther。
  ThefewhundreddollarswhichBritahadbeenabletosave,duringthefirstthreeyearsofherstayinChicago,shehadinvestedinapieceofland。Inthemeanwhilethecityhadgrown,andintheyear1859shewasofferedfivethousanddollarsforherlot;thisoffersheacceptedandagainboughtasmallpieceofpropertyatashortdistancefromthecity。Theboyhadsincehiseighthyearattendedthepublicschool,andhadmadeastonishingprogress。Everydaywhenschoolwasout,shewouldmeethimatthegate,takehimbythehandandleadhimhome。
  Ifanyoftheotherboysdaredtomakesportofher,ortoteasehimforhisdependenceuponher,itwassuretocostthatboyablackeye{。}
  Hesoonsucceededinestablishinghimselfintherespectofhisschool—mates,forhewasthestrongestboyofhisownage,andeverreadytoprotectanddefendtheweakanddefenseless。
  WhenThomasBright(forthatwasthenamebywhichhewasknown)wasfifteenyearsoldhewasofferedapositionasclerkintheofficeofalumber—merchant,andwithhismother’sconsentheacceptedit。Hewasafineyoungladnow,largeandwell—knit,andwithaclearearnestcountenance。Intheeveninghewouldbringhomebookstoread,andasithadalwaysbeenBrita’shabittointerestherselfinwhateverinterestedhim,shesoonfoundherselfstudyinganddiscussingwithhimthingswhichhadinformeryearsbeenfarbeyondthehorizonofhermind。Shehadathisrequestreluctantlygivenupherworkinthelumber—yards,andnowspentherdaysathome,busyingherselfwithsewingandreadingandsuchotherthingsaswomenfindtofillupavacanthour。
  Oneevening,whenThomaswasinhisnineteenthyear,hereturnedfromhisofficewithagraverfacethanusual。Hismother’squickeyeimmediatelysawthatsomethinghadagitatedhim,butsheforboretoask。
  "Mother,"saidheatlast,"whoismyfather?
  Ishedeadoralive?"
  "Godisyourfather,myson,"answeredshe,tremblingly。"Ifyouloveme,askmenomore。"
  "Idoloveyou,mother,"hesaid,andgaveheragravelook,inwhichshethoughtshedetectedaminglingoftendernessandreproach。
  "Anditshallbeasyouhavesaid。"
  Itwasthefirsttimeshehadhadreasontoblushbeforehim,andheremotioncamenearoverwhelmingher;butwithaviolenteffortshestifledit,andremainedoutwardlycalm。
  Hebeganpacingupanddownthefloorwithhisheadbentandhishandsonhisback。Itsuddenlyoccurredtoherthathewasagrownman,andthatshecouldnolongerholdthesamerelationtohimashissupporterandprotector。"Alas,"thoughtshe,"ifGodwillbutletmeremainhismother,IshallblessandthankHim。"
  Itwasthefirsttimethissubjecthadbeenbroached,anditgaverisetomanyadoubtandmanyaquestionintheanxiousmother’smind。
  Hadshebeenrightinconcealingfromhimthatwhichhemightjustlyclaimtoknow?Whathadbeenhermotiveinkeepinghimignorantofhisoriginandofthelandofhisbirth?Shehadwishedhimtogrowtothestrengthofman—
  hood,unconsciousofguilt,sothathemightbearhisheadupright,andlooktheworldfearlesslyintheface。Andstill,hadtherenotinallthisbeenalurkingthoughtofherself,afearoflosinghislove,adesiretostandpureandperfectinhiseye?Shehardlydaredtoanswerthesequestions,for,alas,sheknewnotthatevenourpurestmotivesarebutpoorlyabletobearasearchingscrutiny。Shebegantosuspectthatherwholecoursewithhersonhadbeenwrongfromtheverybeginning。Whyhadshenottoldhimthesterntruth,evenifheshoulddespiseherforit,evenifsheshouldhavetostandablushingculpritinhispresence?Often,whensheheardhisfootstepsinthehall,ashereturnedfromtheworkoftheday,shewouldmanherselfupandthewordshovereduponherlips:
  "Son,thouartabastardborn,achildofguilt,andthymotherisanoutcastupontheearth。"
  Butwhenshemetthosecalmblueeyesofhis,sawtheunsuspectingfranknessofhismannerandthehopefulnesswithwhichhelookedtothefuture,herwomanlyheartshrankfromitsduty,andshehastenedoutoftheroom,threwherselfonherbed,andwept。FiercelyshewrestledwithGodinprayer,untilshethoughtthatevenGodhaddesertedher。Thusmonthspassedandyears,andtheconstantcareandanxietybegantoaffectherhealth。Shegrewpaleandnervous,andtheslightestnoisewouldannoyher。Inthemeanwhile,hermannertowardtheyoungmanhadbecomestrangelyaltered,andhesoonnoticedit,althoughheforboretospeak。Shewasscrupulouslymindfulofhiscomfort,anxiouslyanticipatedhiswants,andobservedtowardhimanevervigilantconsideration,asifhehadbeenhermasterinsteadofherson。
  WhenThomaswastwenty—twoyearsofage,hewasofferedapartnershipinhisemployer’sbusiness,andwitheveryyearhisprospectsbrightened。Thesaleofhismother’spropertybroughthimaveryhandsomelittlefortune,whichenabledhimtobuildafineandcomfortablehouseinoneofthebestportionsofthecity。Thustheiroutwardcircumstancesweregreatlyimproved,andofcomfortandluxuryBritahadallandmorethanshehadeverdesired;butherhealthwasbrokendown,andthephysiciansdeclaredthatayearofforeigntravelandacontinuedresidenceinItalymightpossiblyrestoreher。Atlast,Thomas,too,begantourgeher,untilshefinallyyielded。ItwasonabrightmorninginMaythattheybothstartedforNewYork,andthreedayslatertheytooktheboatforEurope。Whatcountriestheyweretovisittheyhadhardlydecided,butafterabriefstayinEnglandwefindthemagainonasteamerboundforNorway。
  IV。
  Warmandgentleasitis,Juneoftencomestothefjord—valleysofNorwaywiththevoiceandthestrengthofagiant。Theglacierstotterandgroan,asifinangerattheirownweakness,andsendhugeavalanchesofstonesandicedownintothevalleys。Theriversswellandrushwithvociferousbrawloutoverthemountain—
  sides,andathousandtinybrooksjoininthegeneralclamor,anddancewithnoisychatteroverthemoss—grownbirch—roots。Butlater,whenthestruggleisatanend,andJunehasvictoriouslyseatedherselfuponherthrone,hervoicebecomesmorerichlysubduedandbringsrestandcomforttotheearandtothetroubledheart。ItwaswhilethemonthwasinthislattermoodthatBritaandhersonenteredoncemorethevalleywhence,twenty—fiveyearsago,theyhadfled。Manystrange,turbulentemotionsstirredthemother’sbosom,asshesawagainthegreatsnow—cappedmountains,andthecalm,greenvalley,herchildhood’shome,lyingsosnuglyshelteredintheirmightyembrace。
  EvenThomas’sbreastwasmovedwithvaguelysympatheticthrobs,asthiswondrousscenespreaditselfbeforehim。Theysoonsucceededinhiringafarm—house,abouthalfanhour’swalkfromBlakstad,and,accordingtoBrita’swish,establishedthemselvesthereforthesummer。
  Shehadknownthepeoplewell,whenshewasyoung,buttheyneverthoughtofidentifyingherwiththemerrymaid,whohadoncestartledtheparishbyhersuddenflight;andshe,althoughshelongedtoopenherhearttothem,letnowordfalltobetrayherrealcharacter。Herconscienceaccusedherofplayingafalsepart,butforherson’ssakeshekeptsilent。
  Then,oneday,——itwasthesecondSundayaftertheirarrival,——sheroseearlyinthemorning,andaskedThomastoaccompanyheronawalkupthroughthevalley。TherewasSabbathintheair;thesoftbreathofsummer,ladenwiththeperfumeoffreshleavesandfield—flowers,gentlywaftedintotheirfaces。Thesunglitteredinthedewygrass,thecricketssungwitharemotevoiceofwonder,andtheairseemedtobehalfvisible,andmovedintrem—
  blingwaveletsonthepathbeforethem。Restingonherson’sarm,Britawalkedslowlyupthroughthefloweringmeadows;shehardlyknewwhitherherfeetboreher,butherheartbeatviolently,andsheoftenwasobligedtopauseandpressherhandsagainstherbosom,asiftostaytheturbulentemotions。
  "Youarenotwell,mother,"saidtheson。
  "Itwasimprudentinmetoallowyoutoexertyourselfinthisway。"
  "Letussitdownonthisstone,"answeredshe。"Ishallsoonbebetter。Donotlooksoanxiouslyatme。Indeed,Iamnotsick。"
  Hespreadhislightsummercoatonthestoneandcarefullyseatedher。Sheliftedherveilandraisedhereyestothelargered—roofedmansion,whosedarkoutlinesdrewthemselvesdimlyontheduskybackgroundofthepineforest。
  Washestillalive,hewhoselife—hopeshehadwrecked,hewhohadoncedrivenheroutintothenightwithallbutacurseuponhislips?
  Howwouldhereceiveher,ifsheweretoreturn?Ah,sheknewhim,andshetrembledattheverythoughtofmeetinghim。Butwasnottheguilthers?Couldshedepartfromthisvalley,couldshedieinpeace,withouthavingthrownherselfathisfeetandimploredhisfor—
  giveness?Andthere,ontheoppositesideofthevalley,laythehomeofhimwhohadbeenthecauseofallhermisery。Whathadbeenhisfate,anddidhestillrememberthoselonghappysummerdays,ah!solong,longago?
  Shehaddaredtoasknoquestionsofthepeoplewithwhomshelived,butnowasuddenweaknesshadovertakenher,andshefeltthatto—daymustdecideherfate;shecouldnolongerbearthistortureofuncertainty。Thomasremainedstandingathersideandlookedatherwithanxietyandwonder。Heknewthatshehadconcealedmanythingsfromhim,butwhateverherreasonsmightbe,hewasconfidentthattheywerejustandweighty。Itwasnotforhimtoquestionheraboutwhathemighthavenorighttoknow。Hefeltasifhehadneverlovedherasinthismoment,whensheseemedtobemostinneedofhim,andanoverwhelmingtendernesstookpossessionofhisheart。
  Hesuddenlystoopeddown,tookherpale,thinfacebetweenhishandsandkissedher。Thelongpent—upemotionburstforthinafloodoftears;sheburiedherfaceinherlapandweptlongandsilently。Thenthechurch—bellsbegantopealdowninthevalley,andtheslowmightysoundfloatedcalmlyandsolemnlyuptothem。
  Howmanylong—forgottenmemoriesofchildhoodandyouthdidtheynotwakeinherbosom——memoriesofthetimewhenthemerryGlitter—
  Brita,deckedwithhershiningbrooches,wendedherwaytothechurchamongthegayly—dressedladsandmaidensoftheparish?
  Aclusterofwhite—stemmedbirchesthrewitsshadowoverthestonewherethepenitentmotherwassitting,andthetallgrassonbothsidesofthepathnearlyhidherfromsight。
  Presentlythechurch—folkbegantoappear,andBritaraisedherheadanddrewherveildownoverherface。Noonepassedwithoutgreetingthestrangers,andthewomenandmaidens,accordingtooldfashion,stoppedandcourtesied。Atlast,therecameanoldwhite—hairedman,leaningonthearmofamiddle—agedwoman。Hiswholefigurewasbentforward,andheoftenstoppedanddrewhisbreathheavily。
  "Oh,yes,yes,"hesaid,illahoarse,brokenvoice,ashepassedbeforethem,"ageisgainingonmefast。Ican’tmoveaboutanymoreasofold。ButtochurchImustthisday。Godhelpme!Ihavedonemuchwrongandneedtoprayforforgiveness。"
  "Youhadbettersitdownandrest,father,"
  saidthewoman。"Hereisastone,andthefinelady,Iamsure,willallowaweakoldmantositdownbesideher。"
  Thomasroseandmadeasigntotheoldmantotakehisseat。
  "Oyes,yes,"hewentonmurmuring,asiftalkingtohimself。"Muchwrong——muchforgiveness。Godhelpusall——miserablesinners。
  Hewhohatethnotfatherandmother——anddaughterisnotworthyofme。O,yes——yes——
  Godcomfortusall。Helpmeup,Grimhild。I
  thinkIcanmoveonagain,now。"
  Thomas,ofcourse,didnotunderstandawordofwhathesaid,butseeingthathewishedtorise,hewillinglyofferedhisassistance,supportedhisarmandraisedhim。
  "Thankstoyou,youngman,"saidthepeasant。
  "AndmayGodrewardyourkindness。"
  Andthetwo,fatheranddaughter,movedon,slowlyandlaboriously,astheyhadcome。
  Thomasstoodfollowingthemwithhiseyes,untilalow,half—stifledmoansuddenlycalledhimtohismother’sside。Herframetrembledviolently。
  "Mother,mother,"imploredhe,stoopingoverher,"whathashappened?Whyareyounomoreyourself?"
  "Ah,myson,Icanbearitnolonger,"sobbedshe。"Godforgiveme——thoumustknowitall。"
  Hesatdownathersideanddrewhercloselyuptohimandshehidherfaceonhisbosom。
  Therewasalongsilence,onlybrokenbytheloudchirrupingofthecrickets。
  "Myson,"shebeganatlast,stillhidingherface,"thouartachildofguilt。"
  "Thathasbeennosecrettome,mother,"
  answeredhe,gravelyandtenderly,"sinceIwasoldenoughtoknowwhatguiltwas。"
  Shequicklyraisedherhead,andalookofamazement,ofjoyoussurprise,shonethroughthetearsthatveiledhereyes。Shecouldreadnothingbutfilialloveandconfidenceinthosegrave,manlyfeatures,andshesawinthatmomentthatallherdoubtshadbeengroundless,thatherlongprayerfulstrugglehadbeenfornaught。
  "Ibroughttheeintotheworldnameless,"shewhispered,"andthouhastnowordofreproachforme?"
  "WithGod’shelp,Iamstrongenoughtoconqueranameformyself,mother,"washisanswer。
  Itwastheverywordsofherownsecretwish,anduponhislipstheysoundedlikeablessedassurance,likeamiraculousfulfillmentofhermotherlyprayer。
  "Still,anotherthing,mychild,"shewentoninamoreconfidentvoice。"Thisisthynativeland,——andtheoldmanwhowasjustsittinghereatmysidewas——myfather。"
  Andthere,intheshadowofthebirch—trees,inthesummerstillnessofthathour,shetoldhimthestoryofherlove,ofherflight,andofthemiseryoftheselong,toilsomefiveandtwentyyears。
  Lateintheafternoon,Britaandhersonwereseenreturningtothefarm—house。Acalm,subduedhappinessbeamedfromthemother’scountenance;
  shewasagainatpeacewiththeworldandherself,andherheartwasaslightasinthedaysofherearlyyouth。Butherbodilystrengthhadgivenout,andherlimbsalmostrefusedtosupporther。Thestrainuponhernervesandtheconstantefforthadhithertoenabledhertokeepup,butnow,whenthatstrainwasremoved,exhaustednatureclaimeditsright。Thenextday——shecouldnotleaveherbed,andwitheveryhourherstrengthfailed。Aphysicianwassentfor。Hegavemedicine,butnohope。Heshookhisheadgravely,ashewent,andbothmotherandsonknewwhatthatmeant。
  Towardevening,BjarneBlakstadwassummoned,andcameatonce。Thomaslefttheroom,astheoldmanentered,andwhatpassedinthathourbetweenfatheranddaughter,onlyGodknows。Whenthedoorwasagainopened,Brita’seyesshonewithastrangebrilliancy,andBjarnelayonhiskneesbeforethebed,pressingherhandconvulsivelybetweenbothofhis。
  "Thisismyson,father,"saidshe,inalanguagewhichhersondidnotunderstand;andafaintsmileofmotherlyprideandhappinessflittedoverherpalefeatures。"Iwouldgivehimtotheeinreturnforwhatthouhastlost;
  butGodhaslaidhisfutureinanotherland。"
  Bjarnerose,graspedhisgrandson’shand,andpressedit;andtwoheavytearsrandownhisfurrowedcheeks。"Alas,"murmuredhe,"myson,thatweshouldmeetthus。"
  Theretheystood,boundtogetherbythebondsofblood,but,alas,therelayaworldbetweenthem。
  Allnighttheysattogetheratthedyingwoman’sbedside。Notawordwasspoken。
  Towardmorning,asthesunstoleintothedarkenedchamber,Britamurmuredtheirnames,andtheylaidtheirhandsinhers。
  "Godbepraised,"whisperedshe,scarcelyaudibly,"Ihavefoundyouboth——myfatherandmyson。"Adeeppallorspreadoverhercountenance。Shewasdead。
  Twodayslater,whenthebodywaslaidout,Thomasstoodaloneintheroom。Thewindowswerecoveredwithwhitesheets,andasubduedlightfelluponthepale,lifelesscountenance。
  Deathhaddealtgentlywithher,sheseemedyoungerthanbefore,andherlightwavyhairfellsoftlyoverthewhiteforehead。Thentherecameamiddle—agedman,withadulleye,andabroadforehead,andtimidlyapproachedthelonelymourner。Hewalkedontip—toeandhisfigurestoopedheavily。Foralongwhilehestoodgazingatthedeadbody,thenhekneltdownatthefootofthecoffin,andbegantosobviolently。Atlasthearose,tooktwostepstowardtheyoungman,pausedagain,anddepartedsilentlyashehadcome。ItwasHalvard。
  Closeunderthewallofthelittlered—paintedchurch,theydugthegrave;andaweeklaterherfatherwaslaidtorestathisdaughter’sside。
  ButthefreshwindsblewovertheAtlanticandbeckonedthesontonewfieldsoflaborinthegreatlandofthefuture。
  AGOOD—FOR—NOTHING。
  RALPHGRIMwasbornagentleman。
  Hehadthemisfortuneofcomingintotheworldsometenyearslaterthanmightreasonablyhavebeenexpected。
  ColonelGrimandhisladyhadcelebratedtwelveanniversariesoftheirwedding—day,andhadgivenupallhopesofeverhavingasonandheir,whenthislate—comerstartledthembyhisunexpectedappearance。Theonlypreviousadditiontothefamilyhadbeenadaughter,andshewasthentensummersold。
  Ralphwasaveryfeeblechild,andcouldonlywithgreatdifficultybepersuadedtoretainhisholdoftheslenderthreadwhichboundhimtoexistence。Hewasrubbedwithwhisky,andwrappedincotton,andgivenmare’smilktodrink,andGodknowswhatnot,andtheColonelsworearoundoathofpaternaldelightwhenatlasttheinfantstoppedgaspinginthatdistressingwayandbegantobreathelikeotherhumanbeings。Themother,who,inspiteofheranxietyforthechild’slife,hadfoundtimetoplotforhimacareeroffuturemagnificence,nowsuddenlysethimapartforliterature,becausethatwastheeasiestroadtofame,anddisposedofhiminmarriagetooneofthemostdistinguishedfamiliesoftheland。Shecautiouslysuggestedthistoherhusbandwhenhecametotakehisseatatherbedside;buttoherutterastonishmentshefoundthathehadbeenindulgingasimilartrainofthought,andhadalreadydestinedtheinfantprodigyforthearmy。She,however,couldnotgiveupherpredilectionforliterature,andtheColonel,whocouldnotbeartobecontradictedinhisownhouse,asheusedtosay,wasgettingeveryminutelouderandmoreflushed,when,happily,thedoctor’sarrivalinterruptedthedispute。
  AsRalphgrewupfrominfancytochildhood,hebegantogivedecidedpromiseoffuturedistinction。Hewasfondofsittingdowninacornerandsuckinghisthumb,whichhismotherinterpretedasthesignofthatbroodingdispositionpeculiartopoetsandmenofloftygenius。
  Attheageoffive,hehadbecomesolemasterinthehouse。HeslappedhissisterHildaintheface,orpulledherhair,whenshehesitatedtoobeyhim,tyrannizedoverhisnurse,andsternlyrefusedtogotobedinspiteofhismother’sentreaties。Onsuchoccasions,theColonelwouldhidehisfacebehindhisnewspaper,andchucklewithdelight;itwasevidentthatnaturehadintendedhissonforagreatmilitarycommander。AssoonasRalphhimselfwasoldenoughtohaveanythoughtsabouthisfuturedestiny,hemadeuphismindthathewouldliketobeapirate。Afewmonthslater,havingcontractedanimmoderatetasteforcandy,hecontentedhimselfwiththecomparativelyhumblepositionofabaker;butwhenhehadread"RobinsonCrusoe,"hemanifestedastrongdesiretogotoseainthehopeofbeingwreckedonsomedesolateisland。Theparentsspentlongeveningsgravelydiscussingtheseindicationsofuncommongenius,andeachinterpretedtheminhisorherownway。
  "HeisnotlikeanyotherchildIeverknew,"
  saidthemother。
  "Tobesure,"respondedthefather,earnestly。
  "Heisamostextraordinarychild。Iwasaveryremarkablechildtoo,evenifIdosayitmyself;but,asfarasIremember,Ineveraspiredtobeingwreckedonanuninhabitedisland。"
  TheColonelprobablyspokethetruth;butheforgottotakeintoaccountthathehadneverread"RobinsonCrusoe。"
  OfRalph’sschool—daysthereisbutlittletoreport,for,totellthetruth,hedidnotfancygoingtoschool,asthedisciplineannoyedhim。
  Thedayafterhishavingenteredthegymnasium,whichwastopreparehimfortheMilitaryAcademy,theprincipalsawhimwaitingatthegateafterhisclasshadbeendismissed。Heapproachedhim,andaskedwhyhedidnotgohomewiththerest。
  "Iamwaitingfortheservanttocarrymybooks,"wastheboy’sanswer。
  "Givemeyourbooks,"saidtheteacher。
  Ralphreluctantlyobeyed。ThatdaytheColonelwasnotalittlesurprisedtoseehissonmarchingupthestreet,andeverynowandthenglancingbehindhimwithalookofdiscomfortattheprincipal,whowasfollowingquietlyinhistrain,carryingaparcelofschool—books。
  ColonelGrimandhiswife,diviningtheteacher’sintention,agreedthatitwasagreatoutrage,buttheydidnotmentionthemattertoRalph。
  Henceforth,however,theboyrefusedtobeaccompaniedbyhisservant。Aweeklaterhewasimpudenttotheteacherofgymnastics,whowhippedhiminreturn。TheColonel’srageknewnobounds;herodeingreathastetothegymnasium,reviledtheteacherforpresumingtochastiseHISson,andcommittedtheboytothecareofaprivatetutor。
  Attheageofsixteen,RalphwenttothecapitalwiththeintentionofenteringtheMilitaryAcademy。Hewasatall,handsomeyouth,slenderofstature,andcarriedhimselfaserectasacandle。Hehadalight,clearcomplexionofalmostfemininedelicacy;blonde,curlyhair,whichhealwayskeptcarefullybrushed;alowforehead,andastraight,finelymodelednose。
  Therewasanexpressionofextremesensitivenessaboutthenostrils,andalookofindolenceinthedark—blueeyes。Buttheensembleofhisfeatureswaspleasing,hisdressirreproachable,andhismannersborenotraceoftheawkwardself—consciousnesspeculiartohisage。Immediatelyonhisarrivalinthecapitalhehiredasuiteofroomsinthearistocraticpartofthecity,andfurnishedthemratherexpensively,butinexcellenttaste。Fromabosomfriend,whomhemetbyaccidentintherestaurant’spavilioninthepark,helearnedthatapairofantlers,astuffedeagle,orfalcon,andacoupleofswords,wereindispensabletoawell—appointedapartment。Heaccordinglyboughtthesearticlesatacuriosity—shop。Duringthefirstweeksofhisresidenceinthecityhemadesomefeebleeffortstoperfecthimselfinmathematics,inwhichhesuspectedhewassomewhatdeficient。
  Butwhenthesameofficiousfriendlaughedathim,andcalledhim"green,"hedeterminedtotrusttofortune,andhenceforthdevotedhimselfthemoreassiduouslytotheFrenchballet,wherehehadalreadymadesomeinterestingacquaintances。
  Thetimefortheexaminationcame;theFrenchballetdidnotproveagoodpreparation;
  Ralphfailed。Itquiteshookhimforthetime,andhefelthumiliated。Hehadnotthecouragetotellhisfather;sohelingeredonfromdaytoday,satvacantlygazingoutofhiswindow,andtriedvainlytointeresthimselfinthebusybustledownonthestreet。Itprovokedhimthateverybodyelseshouldbesolight—
  hearted,whenhewas,oratleastfanciedhimself,introuble。Theparlorgrewintolerable;
  hesoughtrefugeinhisbedroom。Therehesatoneevening(itwasthethirddayaftertheexamination),andstaredoutuponthegraystonewallswhichonallsidesenclosedthenarrowcourt—yard。TheroundstupidfaceofthemoonstoodtranquillydozinglikeagreatLimburgercheesesuspendedunderthesky。
  Ralph,atleast,couldthinkofanomorefittingsimile。Butthebright—eyedyounggirlinthewindowhardbysentalonginglookuptothesamemoon,andthoughtofherdistanthomeonthefjords,wheretheglaciersstoodlikehoarygiants,andcaughttheyellowmoonbeamsontheirglitteringshieldsofsnow。Shehadbeenreading"Ivanhoe"alltheafternoon,untilthetwilighthadovertakenherquiteunaware,andnowshesuddenlyrememberedthatshehadforgottentowriteherGermanexercise。
  Sheliftedherfaceandsawapairofsad,vacanteyes,gazingatherfromthenextwindowintheangleofthecourt。Shewasalittlestartledatfirst,butinthenextmomentshethoughtofherGermanexerciseandtookheart。
  "DoyouknowGerman?"shesaid;thenimmediatelyrepentedthatshehadsaidit。
  "Ido,"wastheanswer。
  Shetookupherapronandbegantotwistitwithanairofembarrassment。
  "Ididn’tmeananything,"shewhispered,atlast。
  "Ionlywantedtoknow。"
  "Youareverykind。"
  Thatanswerrousedher;hewasevidentlymakingsportofher。
  "Well,then,ifyoudo,youmaywritemyexerciseforme。Ihavemarkedtheplaceinthebook。"
  Andsheflungherbookovertohiswindow,andhecaughtitontheedgeofthesill,justasitwasfalling。
  "Youareaverystrangegirl,"heremarked,turningovertheleavesofthebook,althoughitwastoodarktoread。"Howoldareyou?"
  "IshallbefourteensixweeksbeforeChristmas,"answeredshe,frankly。
  "ThenIexcuseyou。"
  "No,indeed,"criedshe,vehemently。"Youneedn’texcusemeatall。Ifyoudon’twanttowritemyexercise,youmaysendthebookbackagain。IamverysorryIspoketoyou,andI
  shallneverdoitagain。"
  "Butyouwillnotgetthebookbackagainwithouttheexercise,"repliedhe,quietly。
  "Good—night。"
  Thegirlstoodlonglookingafterhim,hopingthathewouldreturn。Then,withagreatburstofrepentance,shehidherfaceinherlap,andbegantocry。
  "Oh,dear,Ididn’tmeantoberude,"shesobbed。"ButitwasIvanhoeandRebeccawhoupsetme。"
  Thenextmorningshewasupbeforedaylight,andwaitedfortwolonghoursingreatsuspensebeforethecurtainofhiswindowwasraised。Hegreetedherpolitely;threwahastyglancearoundthecourttoseeifhewasobserved,andthentossedherbookdexterouslyoverintoherhands。
  "Ihavepinnedthewrittenexercisetothefly—
  leaf,"hesaid。"Youwillprobablyhavetimetocopyitbeforebreakfast。"
  "Iameversomuchobligedtoyou,"shemanagedtostammer。
  Helookedsotallandhandsome,andgrown—
  up,andherremorsestuckinherthroat,andthreatenedtochokeher。Shehadtakenhimforaboyashesatthereinhiswindowtheeveningbefore。
  "Bytheway,whatisyourname?"heasked,carelessly,asheturnedtogo。
  "Bertha。"
  "Well,mydearBertha,Iamhappytohavemadeyouracquaintance。"
  Andheagainmadeherapolitebow,andenteredhisparlor。
  "Howprovokinglyfamiliarheis,"thoughtshe;"butnoonecandenythatheishandsome。"
  ThebrightroguishfaceoftheyounggirlhauntedRalphduringthewholenextweek。
  Hehadbeeninloveatleasttentimesbefore,ofcourse;but,likemostboys,withyoungladiesfarolderthanhimself。Hefoundhimselffrequentlyglancingovertoherwindowinthehopeofcatchinganotherglimpseofherface;
  butthecurtainwasalwaysdrawndown,andBertharemainedinvisible。Duringthesecondweek,however,sherelented,andtheyhadmanyapleasantchattogether。Henowvolunteeredtowriteallherexercises,andshemadenoobjections。Helearnedthatshewasthedaughterofawell—to—dopeasantinthesea—districtsofNorway(anditgavehimquiteashocktohearit),andthatshewasgoingtoschoolinthecity,andboardedwithanoldladywhokeptapensioninthehouseadjoiningtheoneinwhichhelived。
  OnedayintheautumnRalphwassurprisedbythesuddenarrivalofhisfather,andthefactofhisfailureintheexaminationcouldnolongerbekeptasecret。TheoldColonelflaredupatoncewhenRalphmadehisconfession;thelargeveinsuponhisforeheadswelled;hegrewcoppery—
  redinhisface,andstormedupanddownthefloor,untilhissonbecameseriouslyalarmed;
  but,tohisgreatrelief,hewassoonmadeawarethathisfather’swrathwasnotturnedagainsthimpersonally,butagainsttheofficialsoftheMilitaryAcademywhohadrejectedhim。TheColoneltookitasaninsulttohisowngoodnameandirreproachablestandingasanofficer;
  hepromptlyrefusedanyotherexplanation,andvainlyrackedhisbraintorememberifanyyouthfulfollyofhiscouldpossiblyhavemadehimenemiesamongtheteachersoftheAcademy。
  Heatlastfeltsatisfiedthatitwasenvyofhisowngreatnessandrapidadvancementwhichhadinducedtherascalstotakevengeanceonhisson。Ralphreluctantlyfollowedhisfatherbacktothecountrytownwherethelatterwasstationed,andthefair—hairedBerthavanishedfromhishorizon。Hismother’swishnowprevailed,andhebegan,inhisowneasyway,topreparehimselffortheUniversity。HehadlittletasteforCicero,andstilllessforVirgil,butwiththeuseofa"pony"hesoongainedsufficientknowledgeoftheseauthorstobeabletotalkinasortofpatronizingwayaboutthem,tothegreatdelightofhisfondparents。Hetookquiteafancy,however,totheodeinHoraceendingwiththelines:
  Dulceridentem,Dulceloquentem,Lalagenamabo。
  AndinhisthoughthesubstitutedforLalagethefair—hairedBertha,quiteregardlessoftherequirementsofthemetre。
  Tomakealongstoryshort,threeyearslaterRalphreturnedtothecapital,and,afterhavingwornoutseveraltutors,actuallysucceededinenteringtheUniversity。
  Thefirstyearofcollegelifeisahappytimetoeveryyoungman,andRalphenjoyeditsprocessions,itsparliamentarygatherings,anditsleisure,aswellastherest。Hewascertainlynotthemantobesentimentaloverthelossofayounggirlwhom,moreover,hehadonlyknownforafewweeks。Nevertheless,hethoughtofheratoddtimes,butnotenoughtodisturbhispleasure。Thestandingofhisfamily,hisownhandsomeappearance,andhisimmaculatelinenopenedtohimthebesthousesofthecity,andhebecameagreatfavoriteinsociety。Atlectureshewasseldomseen,butmorefrequentlyinthetheatres,whereheusedtocomeinduringthemiddleofthefirstact,takehisstationinfrontoftheorchestrabox,andeye,throughhislorgnettes,byturns,theactressesandtheladiesoftheparquet。
  II。
  Twomonthspassed,andthencamethegreatannualballwhichthestudentsgiveattheopeningofthesecondsemester。Ralphwasamanofimportancethatevening;first,becausehebelongedtoagreatfamily;secondly,becausehewasthehandsomestmanofhisyear。Heworealargegoldenstaronhisbreast(forhisfellow—
  studentshadmadehimaKnightoftheGoldenBoar),andabadgeofcoloredribbonsinhisbutton—hole。
  Theballwasabrilliantaffair,andeverybodywasinexcellentspirits,especiallytheladies。
  Ralphdancedincessantly,twirledhissoftmustache,andutteredamiableplatitudes。Itwastowardmidnight,justasthecompanywasmovingouttosupper,thathecaughttheglanceofapairofdark—blueeyes,whichsuddenlydrovethebloodtohischeeksandhastenedthebeatingofhisheart。Butwhenhelookedoncemorethedark—blueeyesweregone,andhisunrulyheartwentonhammeringagainsthisside。
  Helaidhishandonhisbreastandglancedfurtivelyathisfairneighbor,butshelookedhappyandunconcerned,fortheflavoroftheice—creamwasdelicious。Itseemedanendlessmeal,but,whenitwasdone,Ralphrose,ledhispartnerbacktotheball—room,andhastilyexcusedhimself。Hisglancewanderedroundthewidehall,seekingthewell—rememberedeyesoncemore,and,atlength,findingtheminaremotecorner,halfhidbehindamovingwallofpromenaders。
  InanothermomenthewasatBertha’sside。
  "Youmusthavebeenpurposelyhidingyourself,MissBertha,"saidhe,whentheusualgreetingswereexchanged。"Ihavenotcaughtaglimpseofyouallthisevening,untilafewmomentsago。"
  "ButIhaveseenyouallthewhile,"answeredthegirl,frankly。"IknewyouatonceasI
  enteredthehall。"
  "IfIhadbutknownthatyouwerehere,"
  resumedRalph,asitwere,invisiblyexpandingwithanagreeablesenseofdignity,"Iassureyou,youwouldhavebeentheveryfirstoneI
  shouldhavesought。"
  Sheraisedherlargegraveeyestohis,asifquestioninghissincerity;butshemadenoanswer。
  "Goodgracious!"thoughtRalph。"Shetakesthingsterriblyinearnest。"
  "Youlooksoserious,MissBertha,"saidhe,afteramoment’spause。"Irememberyouasabright—eyed,flaxen—hairedlittlegirl,whothrewherGermanexercise—booktomeacrosstheyard,andwhosemerrylaughterstillringspleasantlyinmymemory。IconfessIdon’tfinditquiteeasytoidentifythisgraveyoungladywithmymerryfriendofthreeyearsago。"
  "Inotherwords,youaredisappointedatnotfindingmethesameasIusedtobe。"
  "No,notexactlythat;but——"
  Ralphpausedandlookedpuzzled。Therewassomethingintheearnestnessofhermannerwhichmadeafacetiouscomplimentseemgrosslyinappropriate,andinthemomentnootherescapesuggesteditself。
  "Butwhat?"demandedBertha,mercilessly。
  "Haveyoueverlostanoldfriend?"
  askedhe,abruptly。
  "Yes;howso?"
  "Then,"answeredhe,whilehisfeatureslightedupwithahappyinspiration——"thenyouwillappreciatemysituation。Ifondlycherishedmyoldpictureofyouinmymemory。NowI
  havelostit,andIcannothelpregrettingtheloss。Idonotmean,however,toimplythatthisnewacquaintance——thissecondeditionofyourself,sotospeak——willprovelessinteresting。"
  Sheagainsenthimagrave,questioninglook,andbegantogazeintentlyuponthestoneinherbracelet。
  "Isupposeyouwilllaughatme,"beganshe,whileasuddenblushflittedoverhercountenance。
  "Butthisismyfirstball,andIfeelasifIhadrushedintoawhirlpool,fromwhichI
  have,sincethefirstrashplungewasmade,beenvainlytryingtoescape。Ifeelsodreadfullyforlorn。Ihardlyknowanybodyhereexceptmycousin,whoinvitedme,andIhardlythinkIknowhimeither。"
  "Well,sinceyouareirredeemablycommitted,"
  repliedRalph,asthemusic,aftersomeprefatoryflourishes,brokeintothedeliciousrhythmofaStrausswaltz,"thenitisnousestrugglingagainstfate。Come,letusmaketheplungetogether。Miserylovescompany。"
  Heofferedherhisarm,andshearose,somewhathesitatingly,andfollowed。
  "Iamafraid,"shewhispered,astheyfellintolinewiththeprocessionthatwasmovingdownthelonghall,"thatyouhaveaskedmetodancemerelybecauseIsaidIfeltforlorn。Ifthatisthecase,Ishouldprefertobeledbacktomyseat。"
  "Whatabaseimputation!"criedRalph。
  Therewassomethingsocharminglynaiveinthisself—depreciation——somethingsoaltogethernovelinhisexperience,and,hecouldnothelpadding,justalittlebitcountrified。Hisspiritsrose;hebegantorelishkeenlyhispositionasanexperiencedmanoftheworld,and,intheagreeableglowofpatronageandconscioussuperiority,chattedwithheartyABANDONwithhislittlerusticbeauty。
  "IfyourdancingisasperfectasyourGermanexerciseswere,"saidshe,laughing,astheyswungoutuponthefloor,"thenIpromisemyselfagooddealofpleasurefromourmeeting。"
  "Neverfear,"answeredhe,quicklyreversinghisstep,andwhirlingwithmanyacapriciousturnawayamongthethrongingcouples。
  WhenRalphdrovehomeinhiscarriagetowardmorninghebrieflysummeduphisimpressionsofBerthainthefollowingadjectives:
  intelligent,delightfullyunsophisticated,alittlebitverdant,butdevilishpretty。
  SomeweekslaterColonelGrimreceivedanappointmentatthefortressofAggershuus,andimmediatelytookuphisresidenceinthecapital。
  Hesawthathissoncutafinefigureinthehighestcirclesofsociety,andexpressedhisgratificationinthemostemphaticterms。Ifhehadknown,however,thatRalphwasinthehabitofvisiting,withalarmingregularity,atthehouseofaplebeianmerchantinasomewhatobscurestreet,hewould,nodoubt,havebeenmorecharyofhispraise。ButtheColonelsuspectednothing,anditwaswellforthepeaceofthefamilythathedidnot。ItmayhavebeencowardiceinRalphthathenevermentionedBertha’snametohisfamilyortohisaristocraticacquaintances;for,tobecandid,hehimselffeltashamedofthepowersheexertedoverhim,andbyturnspitiedandridiculedhimselfforpursuingsoingloriousaconquest。Neverthelessitwoundedhisegotismthatshenevershowedanysurpriseatseeinghim,thatshereceivedhimwithacertainfrankunceremoniousness,which,however,wasverybecomingtoher;