ACTIII。
SCENEI。Cheapside。
[EnterMasterSheriff,andmeetaMessenger。]
SHERIFF。
Messenger,whatnews?
MESSENGER。
Isexecutionyetperformed?
SHERIFF。
Notyet;thecartsstandreadyatthestairs,AndtheyshallpresentlyawaytoTibourne。
MESSENGER。
Stay,MasterShrieve;itisthecouncil’spleasure,Formoreexampleinsobadacase,AgibbetbeerectedinCheapside,HardbytheStandard;whetheryoumustbringLincolnandthosethatwerethechiefwithhim,[EnterOfficers。]
Tosufferdeath,andthatimmediately。
SHERIFF。
Itshallbedone,sir。
[ExitMessenger。]
——Officers,bespeedy;
Callforagibbet,seeitbeerected;
OthersmakehastetoNewgate,bidthembringTheprisonershither,fortheyheremustdie:
Away,Isay,andseenotimebeslacked。
OFFICERS。
Wego,sir。
[Exitsomeseverally;otherssetupthegibbet。]
SHERIFF。
That’swellsaid,fellow;nowyoudoyourduty。——
Godforhispityhelpthesetroubloustimes!
Thestreetsstoppedupwithgazingmultitudes:
CommandourarmedofficerswithhalberdsMakewayforentranceoftheprisoners;
Letproclamationonceagainbemade。
Thateveryhouseholder,onpainofdeath,Keepinhisprentices,andeverymanStandwithaweaponreadyathisdoor,Ashewillanswertothecontrary。
OFFICER。
I’llseeitdone,sir。
[Exit。]
[EnteranotherOfficer。]
SHERIFF。
Bringthemawaytoexecution:
Thewritiscomeabovetwohourssince:
Thecitywillbefinedforthisneglect。
OFFICER。
There’ssuchapressandmultitudeatNewgate,Theycannotbringthecartsontothestairs,Totaketheprisonersin。
SHERIFF。
Thenletthemcomeonfoot;
Wemaynotdallytimewithgreatcommand。
OFFICER。
Someofthebench,sir,thinkitveryfitThatstaybemade,andgiveitoutabroadTheexecutionisdeferredtillmorning,And,whenthestreetsshallbealittlecleared,Tochainthemup,andsuddenlydispatchit。
SHERIFF。
Stay;inmeantimemethinkstheycomealong:
See,theyarecoming。So,tisverywell:
[Theprisonersarebroughtin,wellguarded。]
BringLincolntherethefirstuntothetree。
CLOWN。
I,forIcrylug,sir。
LINCOLN。
Iknewthefirst,sir,didbelongtome:
Thistheoldproverbnowcompletedothmake,ThatLincolnshouldbehangedforLondon’ssake。
[Hegoesup。]
AGod’sname,letustowork。Fellow,dispatch:
Iwastheforemostmaninthisrebellion,AndItheforemostthatmustdieforit。
DOLL。
Bravely,JohnLincoln,letthydeathexpress,That,asthouliv’dstaman,thoudiestnoless。
LINCOLN。
DollWilliamson,thineeyesshallwitnessit。——
ThentoallyouthatcometoviewmineendImustconfess,Ihadnoillintent,Butagainstsuchaswrongedusovermuch:
AndnowIcanperceiveitwasnotfitThatprivatemenshouldcarveouttheirredress,Whichwaytheylist;no,learnitnowbyme,——
Obedienceisthebestineachdegree:
Andaskingmercymeeklyofmyking,Ipatientlysubmitmetothelaw;
ButGodforgivethemthatwerecauseofit!
And,asaChristian,trulyfrommyheartIlikewisecravetheywouldforgivemetoo(AsfreelyasIdoforgivetheirwrong)
ThatothersbyexampleofthesameHenceforthbewarnedtoattemptthelikeGainstanyalienthatrepairethhither。
Fareyewell,all:thenexttimethatwemeet,Itrustinheavenweshalleachothergreet。
[Heleapsoff。]
DOLL。
Farewell,JohnLincoln:sayallwhattheycan,Thouliv’dstagoodfellow,anddiedstanhonestman。
CLOWN。
WouldIwearsofaironmyjourney!thefirststretchistheworst,methinks。
SHERIFF。
BringWilliamsonthereforward。
DOLL。
GoodMasterShrieve,Ihaveanearnestsuit,And,asyouareaman,deny’tmenot。
SHERIFF。
Woman,whatisit?beitinmypower,Thoushaltobtainit。
DOLL。
Letmedienext,sir;thatisallIcrave:
YouknownotwhatacomfortyoushallbringTomypoorheart,todiebeforemyhusband。
SHERIFF。
Bringhertodeath;sheshallhaveherdesire。
CLOWN。
Sir,andIhaveasuitforyoutoo。
SHERIFF。
Whatisit?
CLOWN。
That,asyouhavehangedLincolnfirst,andwillhanghernext,soyouwillnothangmeatall。
SHERIFF。
Nay,yousetope’theCountergates,andyoumusthangforthefolly。
CLOWN。
Well,then,somuchforit!
DOLL。
Sir,yourfreebountymuchcontentsmymind。
CommendmetothatgoodshrieveMasterMore,Andtellhim,had’tnotbeenforhispersuasion,JohnLincolnhadnothunghereashedoes:
WewouldfirsthavelockedusupinLeadenhall,Andtherebeenburnttoasheswiththeroof。
SHERIFF。
Woman,whatMasterMoredidwasasubject’sduty,Andhathsopleasedourgraciouslordtheking,Thatheishenceremovedtohigherplace,Andmadeofcounciltohismajesty。
DOLL。
Wellisheworthyofit,bymytroth,Anhonest,wise,wellspokengentleman;
YetwouldIpraisehishonestymuchmore,Ifhehadkepthisword,andsavedourlives:
Butletthatpass;menarebutmen,andsoWordsarebutwords,andpaysnotwhatmenowe。——
You,husband,sinceperhapstheworldmaysayThatthroughmymeansthoucomestthustothyend,HereIbeginthiscupofdeathtothee,BecausethoushaltbesuretotastenoworseThanIhavetakenthatmustgobeforethee。
WhatthoughIbeawoman?that’snomatter;
IdooweGodadeath,andImustpayhim。
Husband,givemethyhand;benotdismayed;
Thischairbeingchaired,thenallourdebtispaid。
Onlytwolittlebabesweleavebehindus,AndallIcanbequeaththematthistimeIsbuttheloveofsomegoodhonestfriend,Tobringthemupincharitablesort:
What,masters!hegoesuprightthatneverhalts,Andtheymaylivetomendtheirparents’faults。
WILLIAMSON。
Why,wellsaid,wife;yfaith,thoucheerestmyheart:
Givemethyhand;let’skiss,andsolet’spart。
[Hekissesherontheladder。]
DOLL。
Thenextkiss,Williamson,shallbeinheaven。——
Nowcheerily,lads!GeorgeBetts,ahandwiththee;
Andthinetoo,Rafe,andthine,goodhonestSherwin。
Nowletmetellthewomenofthistown,NostrangeryetbroughtDolltolyingdown:
SolongasIanEnglishmancansee,NorFrenchnorDutchshallgetakissofme;
AndwhenthatIamdead,formeyetsay,Idiedinscorntobeastranger’sprey。
[Agreatshoutandnoise,crywithin’Pardon,pardon,pardon,pardon!RoomfortheEarlofSurrey,roomthere,room!’。]
[EnterSurrey。]
SURREY。
Savetheman’slife,ifitbepossible。
SHERIFF。
Itistoolate,mylord;he’sdeadalready。
SURREY。
Itellye,MasterSheriff,youaretooforward,Tomakesuchhastewithmenuntotheirdeath;
Ithinkyourpainswillmeritlittlethanks,SincethathishighnessissomercifulAsnottospillthebloodofanysubject。
SHERIFF。
Mynoblelord,wouldwesomuchhadknown!
TheCouncils’warranthastenedourdispatch;
Ithadnotelsebeendonesosuddenly。
SURREY。
SirThomasMorehumblyuponhiskneeDidbegthelivesofall,sinceonhiswordTheydidsogentlyyield:thekinghathgrantedit,AndmadehimLordHighChancellorofEngland。
Accordingasheworthilydeserves。
SinceLincoln’slifecannotbehadagain,Thenfortherest,frommydreadsovereign’slips,Iherepronouncefreepardonforthemall。
ALL。
Godsavetheking,Godsavetheking!
MygoodLordChancellor,andtheEarlofSurrey!
[Flingingupcaps。]
DOLL。
AndDolldesiresitfromherveryheart,More’snamemayliveforthisrightnoblepart;
AndwhensoerewetalkofillMayday,PraiseMore……
SURREY。
Inhopehishighness’clemencyandmercy,WhichinthearmsofmildandmeekcompassionWouldratherclipyou,asthelovingnurseOftdoththewaywardinfant,thentoleaveyouTothesharprodofjustice,sotodrawyouToshunsuchlewdassembliesasbegetUnlawfulriotsandsuchtraitorousacts,That,strikingwiththehandofprivatehate,Maimyourdearcountrywithapublicwound:——
OhGod,thatMercy,whosemajesticbrowShouldbeunwrinkled,andthatawfulJustice,WhichlookeththroughavailofsufferanceUponthefrailtyofthemultitude,ShouldwiththeclamoursofoutrageouswrongsBestirredandwakenedthustopunishment!——
Butyourdeserveddeathhedothforgive:
Whogivesyoulife,prayallhelongmaylive。
ALL。
Godsavetheking,Godsavetheking!
MygoodLordChancellor,andtheEarlofSurrey!
[Exeunt。]
SCENEII。Chelsea。ARoominMore’sHouse。
[Atablebeingcoveredwithagreencarpet,astatecushiononit,andthePurseandMacelyingthereon,enterSirThomasMore。]
MORE。
itisinheaventhatIamthusandthus;
AndthatwhichweprofanelytermourfortunesIstheprovisionofthepowerabove,FittedandshapedjusttothatstrengthofnatureWhichwearebornewithal。GoodGod,goodGo,ThatIfromsuchanhumblebenchofbirthShouldstepastwereuptomycountry’shead,Andgivethelawoutthere!I,inmyfather’slife,TotakeprerogativeandtitheofkneesFromelderkinsmen,andhimbindbymyplaceTogivethesmoothanddexterwaytomeThatoweithimbynature!Sure,thesethings,Notphysickedbyrespect,mightturnourbloodTomuchcorruption:but,More,themorethouhast,Eitherofhonor,office,wealth,andcalling,Whichmightexcitetheetoembraceandhubthem,Themoredoethouinserpents’naturesthinkthem;
Feartheirgayskinswiththoughtoftheirsharpstate;
Andletthisbethymaxim,tobegreatIswhenthethreadofhaydayisonce’spon,Abottomgreatwoundupgreatundone。——
Comeon,sir:areyouready?
[EnterRandall,attiredlikeSirThomasMore。]
RANDALL。
Yes,mylord,Istandbutonafewpoints;Ishallhavedonepresently。BeforeGod,Ihavepractisedyourlordship’sshiftsowell,thatIthinkIshallgrowproud,mylord。
MORE。
Tisfitthoushouldstwaxproud,orelsethou’ltne’erBenearalliedtogreatness。Observeme,sirrah。
ThelearnedclarkErasmusisarrivedWithinourEnglishcourt:lastnightIhearHefeastedwithourhonoredEnglishpoet,TheEarlofSurrey;andIlearnedtodayThefamousclarkofRotterdamwillvisitSirThomasMore。Therefore,sir,takemyseat;
youareLordChancellor:dressyourbehaviorAccordingtomycarriage;butbewareYoutalknotovermuch,fortwillbetraythee:
Whopratesnotmuchseemswise;hiswitfewscan;
Whilethetongueblabstalesoftheimperfectman。
I’llseeifgreatErasmuscandistinguishMeritandoutwardceremony。
RANDALL。
IfIdonotserveashareforplayingofyourlordshipwell,letmebeyeomanushertoyoursumpter,andbebanishedfromwearingofagoldchainforever。
MORE。
Well,sir,I’llhideourmotion:actmypartWithafirmboldness,andthouwinstmyheart。
[EntertheShrieve,withFaulkneraruffian,andOfficers。]
Hownow!what’sthematter?
FAULKNER。
Tugmenot,I’mnobear。’Sblood,ifallthedogsinParisGardenhungatmytail,I’dshake’emoffwiththis,thatI’llappearbeforenokingchristenedbutmygoodLordChancellor。
SHRIEVE。
We’llchristenyou,sirrah。——Bringhimforward。
MORE。
Hownow!whattumultsmakeyou?
FAULKNER。
TheazuredheavensprotectmynobleLordChancellor!
MORE。
Whatfellow’sthis?
SHRIEVE。
Aruffian,mylord,thathathsethalfthecityinanuproar。
FAULKNER。
Mylord——
SHRIEVE。
TherewasafrayinPaternoster-row,andbecausetheywouldnotbeparted,thestreetwaschokedupwithcarts。
FAULKNER。
Mynoblelord,PaniarAlliesthroatwasopen。
MORE。
Sirrah,holdyourpeace。
FAULKNER。
I’llprovethestreetwasnotchoked,butisaswellaseveritwassinceitwasastreet。
SHRIEVE。
Thisfellowwasaprincipalbroacherofthebroil。
FAULKNER。
’Sblood,Ibroachednone;itwasbroachedandhalfrunout,beforeI
hadalickatit。
SHRIEVE。
Andwouldbebroughtbeforenojusticebutyourhonor。
FAULKNER。
Iamhailed,mynoblelord。
MORE。
Noeartochooseforeverytrivialnoisebutmine,andinsofullatime?Away!
Youwrongme,MasterShrieve:disposeofhimAtyourownpleasure;sendtheknavetoNewgate。
FAULKNER。
ToNewgate!’sblood,SirThomasMore,Iappeal,IappealfromNewgatetoanyofthetwoworshipfulCounters。
MORE。
Fellow,whosemanareyou,thatarethuslusty?
FAULKNER。
Myname’sJackFaulkner;Iserve,nextunderGodandmyprince,MasterMorris,secretarytomyLordofWinchester。
MORE。
AfellowofyourhairisveryfitTobeasecretary’sfollower!
FAULKNER。
Ihopeso,mylord。ThefraywasbetweentheBishops’menofElyandWinchester;andIcouldnotinhonorbutpartthem。Ithoughtitstoodnotwithmyreputationanddegreetocometomyquestionsandanswersbeforeacityjustice:IknewIshouldtothepot。
MORE。
Thouhastbeenthere,itseems,toolatealready。
FAULKNER。
Iknowyourhonoriswiseandsoforth;andIdesiretobeonlycathecizedorexaminedbyyou,mynobleLordChancellor。
MORE。
Sirrah,sirrah,youareabusydangerousruffian。
FAULKNER。
Ruffian!
MORE。
Howlonghaveyouwornthishair?
FAULKNER。
IhavewornthishaireversinceIwasborn。
MORE。
Youknowthat’snotmyquestion,buthowlongHaththisshagfleecehungdanglingontheyhead?
FAULKNER。
Howlong,mylord?why,sometimesthuslong,sometimeslower,astheFatesandhumorsplease。
MORE。
Soquick,sir,withme,ha?Isee,goodfellow,Thoulovestplaindealing。Sirrah,tellmenow,Whenwereyoulastatbarbers?howlongtimeHaveyouuponyourheadwornthisshaghair?
FAULKNER。
Mylord,JackFaulknertellsnoAesopsfables:troth,Iwasnotatbarbersthisthreeyears;Ihavenotbeencutnotwillnotbecut,uponafoolishvow,which,astheDestiniesshalldirect,Iamsworntokeep。
MORE。
Whencomesthatvowout?
FAULKNER。
Why,whenthehumorsarepurged,notthisthreeyears。
MORE。
VowsarerecordedinthecourtofHeaven,Fortheyareholyacts。Youngman,IchargetheeAnddoadvisethee,startnotfromthatvow:
And,forIwillbesurethoushaltnotshrieve,Besides,becauseitisanodioussightToseeamanthushairy,thoushaltlieInNewgatetillthyvowandthythreeyearsBefullexpired。——Awaywithhim!
FAULKNER。
Mylord——
MORE。
Cutoffthisfleece,andlietherebutamonth。
FAULKNER。
I’llnotloseahairtobeLordChancellorofEurope。
MORE。
ToNewgate,then。Sirrah,greatsinsarebredInallthatbodywherethere’safoulhead。
Awaywithhim。
[ExeuntallexceptRandall。]
[EnterSurrey,Erasmus,andAttendants。]
SURREY。
Now,greatErasmus,youapproachthepresenceOfamostworthylearnedgentleman:
ThislittleisleholdsnotatruerfriendUntothearts;nordothhisgreatnessaddAfeignedflourishtohisworthyparts;
He’sgreatinstudy;that’sthestatist’sgrace,Thatgainsmorereverencethantheoutwardplace。
ERASMUS。
Report,mylord,hathcrossedthenarrowseas,AndtotheseveralpartsofChristendom,HathbornethefameofyourLordChancellor:
Ilongtoseehim,whomwithlovingthoughtsIinmystudyofthavevisited。
IsthatSirThomasMore?
SURREY。
Itis,Erasmus:
Nowshallyouviewthehonorablestscholar,Themostreligiouspolitician,Theworthiestcounsellorthattendsourstate。
ThatstudyisthegeneralwatchofEngland;
Inittheprince’ssafety,andthepeaceThatshinesuponourcommonwealth,areforgedByloyalindustry。
ERASMUS。
IdoubthimnotTobeasnearthelifeofexcellenceAsyouproclaimhim,whenhismeanestservantsAreofsomeweight:yousaw,mylord,hisporterGiveentertainmenttousatthegateInLatingoodphrase;what’sthemaster,then,Whensuchgoodpartsshineinhismeanestmen?
SURREY。
HisLordshiphathsomeweightybusiness;
For,see,yethetakesnonoticeofus。
ERASMUS。
IthinktwerebestIdidmydutytohimInashortLatinspeech。——
Quiinceliberimapatrianatusestettgloriosa,plushabetnegotiiutinlucemveniatquamqui——
RANDALL。
Iprithee,goodErasmus,becovered。IhaveforswornspeakingofLatin,else,asIamtruecounsellor,I’dtickleyouwithaspeech。
Nay,sit,Erasmus;——sit,goodmyLordofSurrey。I’llmakemyladycometoyouanon,ifshewill,andgiveyouentertainment。
ERASMUS。
IsthisSirThomasMore?
SURREY。
OhgoodErasmus,youmustconceivehisvain:
He’severfurnishedwiththeseconceits。
RANDALL。
Yes,faith,mylearnedpoetdothnotlieforthatmatter:IamneithermorenorlessthanmerrySirThomasalways。Wiltsupwithme?byGod,Iloveaparlouswisefellowthatsmellsofapoliticianbetterthanalongprogress。
[EnterSirThomasMore。]
SURREY。
Wearedeluded;thisisnothislordship。
RANDALL。
Iprayyou,Erasmus,howlongwilltheHollandcheeseinyourcountrykeepwithoutmaggots?
MORE。
Fool,paintedbarbarism,retirethyselfIntothyfirstcreation!
[ExitRandall。]
Thusyousee,Mylovinglearnedfriends,howfarrespectWaitsoftenontheceremonioustrainOfbaseilliteratewealth,whilstmenofschools,Shroudedinpoverty,arecountedfools。
Pardon,thoureverentGerman,IhavemixedSoslightajesttothefairentertainmentOfthymostworthyself;forknow,Erasmus,Mirthwrinklesupmyface,andIstillcrave,WhenthatforsakesmeImayhugmygrave。
ERASMUS。
Yourhonor’smerryhumorisbestphysicUntoyourablebody;forwelearnWheremelancholychokesthepassagesOfbloodandbreath,theerectedspiritstillLengthensourdayswithsportfulexercise:
Studyshouldbethesaddesttimeoflife。
Therestasportexemptfromthoughtofstrife。
MORE。
Erasmuspreachethgospelagainstphysic,Mynoblepoet。
SURREY。
Oh,myLord,youtaxmeInthatwordpoetofmuchidleness:
Itisastudythatmakespoorourfate;
Poetswereeverthoughtunfitforstate。
MORE。
O,givenotupfairpoesy,sweetlord,Tosuchcontempt!ThatImayspeakmyheart,Itisthesweetestheraldryofart,Thatsetsadifference’tweenthetoughsharphollyAndtenderbaytree。
SURREY。
Yet,mylord,ItisbecometheverylogicnumberToallmechanicsciences。
MORE。
Why,I’llshowthereason:
Thisisnoageforpoets;theyshouldsingTotheloudcanonheroicafacta;
Quifaciuntregesheroicacarminalaudant:
And,asgreatsubjectsoftheirpendecay,Evensounphysickedtheydomeltaway。
[EnterMasterMorris。]
Come,willyourlordshipin?——MydearErasmus——
I’llhearyou,MasterMorris,presently。——
Mylord,Imakeyoumasterofmyhouse:
We’llbanquetherewithfreshandstaiddelights,TheMusesmusichereshallcheeroursprites;
Thecatesmustbebutmeanwherescholarssit,Forthey’remadeallwithcoursesofneatwit。
[ExeuntSurrey,Erasmus,andAttendants。]
Hownow,MasterMorris?
MORRIS。
Iamasuitortoyourlordshipinbehalfofaservantofmine。
MORE。
Thefellowwithlonghair?goodMasterMorris,Cometomethreeyearshence,andthenI’llhearyou。
MORRIS。
Iunderstandyourhonor:butthefoolishknavehassubmittedhimselftothemercyofabarber,andiswithout,readytomakeanewvowbeforeyourlordship,hereaftertoleavecavil。
MORE。
Nay,then,let’stalkwithhim;pray,callhimin。
[EnterFaulknerandOfficers。]
FAULKNER。
Blessyourhonor!anewman,mylordMORE。
Why,sure,thisisnothe。
FAULKNER。
Andyourlordshipwill,thebarbershallgiveyouasampleofmyhead:Iamheinfaith,mylord;Iamipse。
MORE。
Why,nowthyfaceislikeanhonestman’s:
Thouhastplayedwellatthisnewcut,andwon。
FAULKNER。
No,mylord;lostallthateverGodsentme。
MORE。
Godsenttheeintotheworldasthouartnow,Withashorthair。HowquicklyarethreeyearsRunoutofNewgate!
FAULKNER。
Ithinkso,mylord;fortherewasbutahair’slengthbetweenmygoingthitherandsolongtime。
MORE。
BecauseIseesomegraceinthee,gofree。——
Dischargehim,fellows。——Farewell,MasterMorris。——
Thyheadisforthyshouldersnowmorefit;
Thouhastlesshairuponit,butmorewit。
[Exit。]
MORRIS。
DidnotItelltheealwaysoftheselocks?
FAULKNER。
Andthelockswereonagain,allthegoldsmithsinCheapsideshouldnotpickthemopen。’Sheart,ifmyhairstandnotonendwhenIlookformyfaceinaglass,Iamapolecat。Here’salousyjest!but,ifInotchnotthatrogueTombarber,thatmakesmelookthuslikeaBrownist,hangme!I’llbeworsetothenitticallknavethantentoothdrawings。Here’sahead,withapox!
MORRIS。
Whatailsthou?artthoumadnow?
FAULKNER。
Madnow!nails,iflossofhaircannotmadaman,whatcan?Iamdeposed,mycrownistakenfromme。MorehadbeenbetterascouredMoreditchthananotchedmethus:doeshebeginsheepshearingwithJackFaulkner?
MORRIS。
Nay,andyoufeedthisvein,sir,fareyouwell。
FAULKNER。
Why,farewell,frost。I’llgohangmyselfoutforthePollHead。
MakeaSaracenofJack?
MORRIS。
Thoudesperateknave!forthatIseethedevilWhollygetsholdofthee——
FAULKNER。
Thedevil’sadamnedrascal。
MORRIS。
Ichargethee,waitonmenomore;nomoreCallmethymaster。
FAULKNER。
Why,then,aword,MasterMorris。
MORRIS。
I’llhearnowords,sir;fareyouwell。
FAULKNER。
’Sblood,farewell。
MORRIS。
Whydostthoufollowme?
FAULKNER。
BecauseI’manass。Doyousetyourshaversuponme,andthencastmeoff?mustIcondole?havetheFatesplayedthefools?amI
theircut?nowthepoorsconceistaken,mustJackmarchwithbagandbaggage?
[Weeps。]
MORRIS。
Youcoxcomb!
FAULKNER。
Nay,youha’poachedme;youha’givenmeahair;it’shere,hear。
MORRIS。
Away,youkindass!come,sir,dryyoureyes:
Keepyouoldplace,andmendthesefooleries。
FAULKNER。
Icarenottobeturnedoff,and’twerealadder,soitbeinmyhumor,ortheFatesbeckontome。Nay,pray,sir,iftheDestiniesspinmeafinethread,Faulknerfliesanotherpitch;andtoavoidtheheadachehereafter,beforeI’llbeahairmonger,I’llbeawhoremonger。
[Exeunt。]
SCENEIII。Chelsea。Ante-chamberinMore’sHouse。
[EnteraMessengertoMore。]
MESSENGER。
Myhonorablelord,theMayorofLondon,Accompaniedwithhisladyandhertrain,Arecominghither,andarehardathand,Tofeastwithyou:aservant’scomebefore,Totellyourlordshipoftherenearapproach。
MORE。
Why,thisischeerfulnews:friendsgoandcome:
ReverendErasmus,whodeliciouswordsExpresstheverysoulandlifeofwit,Newlytooksadleaveofme,andwithtearsTroubledthesilverchanneloftheThames,Which,gladofsuchaburden,proudlyswelledAndonherbosomborehimtowardthesea:
He’sgonetoRotterdam;peacegowithhim!
Heleftmeheavywhenhewentfromhence;
Butthisrecomfortsme;thekindLordMayor,Hisbrethrenaldermen,withtheirfairwives,Willfeastthisnightwithus:why,soitshouldbe;
More’smerryheartlivesbygoodcompany。——
Goodgentlemen,becareful;givegreatchargeOurdietbemadedaintyforthetaste;
For,ofallpeoplethattheearthaffords,TheLondonersfarerichestattheirboards。
[Exeunt。]
ACTIV。
SCENEI。Chelsea。ARoominMore’sHouse。
[EnterSirThomasMore,MasterRoper,andServingmensettingstools。]
MORE。
Come,mygoodfellows,stir,bediligent;
Slothisanidlefellow,leavehimnow;
Thetimerequiresyourexpeditiousservice。
Placemeherestools,tosettheladieson。——
SonRoper,youhavegivenorderforthebanquet?
ROPER。
Ihave,mylord,andeverythingisready。
[EnterhisLady。]
MORE。
Oh,welcome,wife!giveyoudirectionHowwomenshouldbeplaced;youknowitbest。
FormyLordMayor,hisbrethren,andtherest,Letmealone;menbestcanordermen。
LADY。
Iwarrantye,mylord,allshallbewell。
There’sonewithoutthatstaystospeakwithye,Andbademetellyethatheisaplayer。
MORE。
Aplayer,wife!——Oneofyebidhimcomein。
[Exitone。]
Nay,stirthere,fellows;fie,yearetooslow!
Seethatyourlightsbeinareadiness:
Thebanquetshallbehere。——Godsme,madame,LeavemyLadyMayoress!bothofusfromtheboard!
AndmysonRopertoo!whatmayourgueststhink?
LADY。
Mylord,theyarerisen,andsittingbythefire。
MORE。
Why,yetgoyouandkeepthemcompany;
Itisnotmeetweshouldbeabsentboth。
[ExitLady。]
[EnterPlayer。]
Welcome,goodfriend;whatisyouwillwithme?
PLAYER。
Mylord,myfellowsandmyselfArecometotenderyeourwillingservice,Sopleaseyoutocommandus。
MORE。
What,foraplay,youmean?
Whomdoyeserve?
PLAYER。
MyLordCardinal’sgrace。
MORE。
MyLordCardinal’splayers!now,trustme,welcome;
Youhappenhitherinaluckytime,Topleasureme,andbenefityourselves。
TheMayorofLondonandsomealdermen,Hisladyandtheirwives,aremykindguestsThisnightatsupper:now,tohaveaplayBeforethebanquet,willbeexcellent。——
Howthinkyou,sonRoper?
ROPER。
’Twilldowell,mylord,Andberightpleasingpastimetoyourguests。
MORE。
Iprithee,tellme,whatplayshaveye?
PLAYER。
Diverse,mylord:TheCradleofSecurity,Hisnailo’thehead,ImpatientPoverty,TheplayofFourPeas,DivesandLazarus,LustyJuventus,andTheMarriageofWitandWisdom。
MORE。
TheMarriageofWitandWisdom!that,mylads;
I’llnonebutthat;thethemeisverygood,Andmaymaintainaliberalargument:
Tomarrywittowisdom,askssomecunning;
Manyhavewit,thatmaycomeshortofwisdom。
We’llseehowMasterpoetplayshispart,Andwhetherwitorwisdomgracehisart。——
Go,makehimdrink,andallhisfellowstoo。——
Howmanyareye?
PLAYER。
Fourmenandaboy,sir。
MORE。
Butoneboy?thenIsee,There’sbutfewwomenintheplay。
PLAYER。
Three,mylord;DameScience,LadyVanity,AndWisdomsheherself。
MORE。
Andoneboyplaythemall?byourLady,he’sladen。
Well,mygoodfellow,getyestraighttogether,Andmakeyereadywithwhathasteyemay。——
Proudtheirsuppergainsttheplaybedone,Elseshallwestayourguestshereoverlong。——
Makehaste,Iprayye。
PLAYER。
Wewill,mylord。
[ExitServantandPlayer。]
MORE。
Wherearethewaits?go,bigthemplay,Tospendthetimeawhile。
[EnterLady。]
Hownow,madame?
LADY。
Mylord,th’arecominghither。
MORE。
Th’arewelcome。Wife,I’lltellyeonething;
Onesportissomewhatmended;weshallhaveAplaytonight,TheMarriageofWitandWisdom,AndactedbymygoodLordCardinal’splayers;
Howlikeyethat,wife?
LADY。
Mylord,Ilikeitwell。
See,theyarecoming。
[Thewaitsplays;enterLordMayor,somanyAldermenasmay,theLadyMayoressinscarlet,withotherLadiesandSirThomasMore’sDaughters;Servantscarryinglightedtorchesbythem。]
MORE。
Onceagain,welcome,welcome,mygoodLordMayor,Andbrethrenall,foronceIwasyourbrother,AndsoIamstillinheart:itisnotstateThatcanourlovefromLondonseparate。
True,upstartfools,bysuddenfortunetried,Regardtheirformermateswithnaughtbutpride。
Buttheythatcastaneyestillwhencetheycame,Knowhowtheyrose,andhowtousethesame。
LORDMAYOR。
Mylord,yousetaglossonLondon’sfame,Andmakeithappyeverbyyourname。
Needsmustwesay,whenwerememberMore,’TwashethatdroverebellionfromourdoorWithgravediscretionsmildandgentlebreath,Oh,howourcityisbyyourenowned,Andwithyourvirtuesourendeavorscrowned!
MORE。
Nomore,mygoodLordMayor:butthankstoall,ThatonsoshortasummonsyouwouldcomeTovisithimthatholdsyourkindnessdear。——
Madame,youarenotmerrywithmyLadyMayoressAndthesefairladies;prayye,seatthemall:——
Andhere,mylord,letmeappointyourplace;——
Theresttoseatthemselves:——nay,I’llwearyye;
Youwillnotlonginhastetovisitme。
LADY。
Goodmadame,sit;insooth,youshallsithere。
LADYMAYORESS。
Goodmadame,pardonme;itmaynotbe。
LADY。
Introth,I’llhaveitso:I’llsitherebyye。——
Goodladies,sit。——Morestoolshere,ho!
LADYMAYORESS。
Itisyourfavour,madame,makesmethusPresumeabovemymerit。
LADY。
Whenwecometoyou,Thenshallyouruleusasweruleyouhere。
NowmustItellye,madame,wehaveaplay,Towelcomeyewithal;howgoodsoere,ThatknownotI;mylordwillhaveitso。
MORE。
Wife,hopethebest;Iamsurethey’lldotheirbest:
Theythatwouldbetter,comesnotattheirfeast。
MygoodLordCardinal’splayers,Ithankthemforit,Playusaplay,tolengthenoutyourwelcome:
TheysayitisTheMarriageofWitandWisdom,Athemeofsomeimport,howereitprove;
But,ifartfail,we’llinchitoutwithlove。——
[EnteraServant。]
What,aretheyready?
SERVANT。
Mylord,oneoftheplayerscravestospeakwithyou。
MORE。
Withme!whereishe?
[EnterInclination,theVice,ready。]
INCLINATION。
Here,mylord。
MORE。
Hownow!what’sthematter?
INCLINATION。
Wewoulddesireyourhonorbuttostayalittle;oneofmyfellowsisbutruntoOaglesforalongbeardforyoungWit,andhe’llbeherepresently。
MORE。
AlongbeardforyoungWit!why,man,hemaybewithoutabeardtillhecometomarriage,forwitgoesnotallbythehair。WhencomesWitin?
INCLINATION。
Inthesecondscene,nexttothePrologue,mylord。
MORE。
Why,playontillthatscenecome,andbythattimeWit’sbeardwillbegrown,orelsethefellowreturnedwithit。Andwhatpartplayestthou?
INCLINATION。
InclinationtheVice,mylord。
MORE。
Gramercies,nowImaytaketheviceifIlist:andwhereforehastthouthatbridleinthyhand?
INCLINATION。
Imustbebridledanon,mylord。
MORE。
Andthoubeestnotsaddledtoo,itmakesnomatter,forthenWit’sinclinationmaygallopsofast,thathewilloutstripWisdom,andfalltofolly。
INCLINATION。
Indeed,sohedoestoLadyVanity;butwehavenofollyinourplay。
MORE。
Thenthere’snowitin’t,I’llbesworn:follywaitsonwit,astheshadowonthebody,andwherewitisripesttherefollystillisreadiest。Butbegin,Iprithee:we’llratherallowabeardlessWitthanWitallbeardtohavenobrain。
INCLINATION。
Nay,hehashisapparelontoo,mylord,andthereforeheisthereadiertoenter。
MORE。
Then,goodInclination,beginataventer。——
[ExitInclination。]
MyLordMayor,Witlacksabeard,orelsetheywouldbegin:
I’dlendhimmine,butthatitistoothin。
Silence,theycome。
[Thetrumpetsounds;enterthePrologue。]
PROLOGUE。
Now,forasmuchasintheselatterdays,Throughoutthewholeworldineveryland,Vicedothincrease,andvirtuedecays,Iniquityhavingtheupperhand;
Wethereforeintend,goodgentleaudience,Aprettyshortinterludetoplayatthispresent,Desiringyourleaveandquietsilence,Toshowthesame,asismeetandexpedient,ItiscalledTheMarriageofWitandWisdom,Amatterrightpithyandpleasingtohear,Whereofinbriefwewillshowthewholesum;
ButImustbegone,forWitdothappear。
[Exit。EnterWitruffling,andInclinationtheVice。]
WIT。
Inanarborgreen,asleepwhereasIlay,Thebirdssangsweetlyinthemidstoftheday,Idreamedfastofmirthandplay,——
Inyouthispleasure,inyouthispleasure,MethoughtIwalkedstilltoandfro,AndfromhercompanyIcouldnotgo;
ButwhenIwaked,itwasnotso,——
Inyouthispleasure,inyouthispleasure。
Thereforemyheartissurelyplight,Ofheralonetohaveasight,Whichismyjoyandheart’sdelight,——
Inyouthispleasure,inyouthispleasure。
MORE。
Markye,mylord,thisisWitwithoutabeard:whatwillhebebythattimehecomestothecommodityofabeard?
INCLINATION。
Oh,sir,thegroundisthebetteronwhichshedothgo;
Forshewillmakebettercheerwithalittleshecanget,Thanmanyaonecanwithagreatbanquetofmeat。
WIT。
AndishernameWisdom?
INCLINATION。
I,sir,awifemostfitForyou,mygoodmaster,mydaintysweetWit。
WIT。
Tobeinhercompanymyheartitisset:
ThereforeIpritheetoletusbegone;
ForuntoWisdomWithathinclination。
INCLINATION。
Oh,sir,shewillcomeherselfevenanon;
ForItoldherbeforewherewewouldstand。
Andthenshesaidshewouldbeckuswithherhand。——
Backwiththeseboysandsaucygreatknaves!
[Flourishingadagger。]
What,standyeheresobiginyourbraves?
Mydaggeraboutyourcoxcombsshallwalk,IfImaybutsomuchashearyechatortalk。
WIT。
Butwillshetakepainstocomeforushither?
INCLINATION。
Iwarrantye;thereforeyoumustbefamiliarwithher;
Whenshecommethinplace,YoumustherembraceSomewhathandsomely,Leastshethinkitdanger,Becauseyouareastranger,Tocomeinyourcompany。
WIT。
Iwarrantthee,Inclination,Iwillbebusy:
Oh,howWitlongstobeinWisdom’scompany!
[EnterLadyVanitysinging,andbeckoningwithherhand。]
VANITY。
Comehither,comehither,comehither,come:
SuchcheerasIhave,thoushalthavesome。
MORE。
ThisisLadyVanity,I’llholdmylife:——
Beware,goodWit,youtakenothertowife。
INCLINATION。
What,unknownhonesty?awordinyourear。
[Sheofferstodepart。]
Youshallnotbegoneasyet,Iswear:
Here’snonebutfriends,youneednottofray;
Thisyounggentlemanlovesye,thereforeyoumuststay。
WIT。
Itrustinmeshewillthinknodanger,ForIlovewellthecompanyoffairwomen;
AndthoughtoyouIamastranger,YetWitmaypleasureyounowandthen。
VANITY。
Who,you?nay,youaresuchaholyman,Thattotouchonyoudarenotbebold;
Ithinkyouwouldnotkissayoungwoman,Ifonewouldgiveyetwentypoundingold。
WIT。
Yes,ingoodsadness,lady,thatIwould:
Icouldfindinmyhearttokissyouinyoursmock。
VANITY。
Mybackisbroadenoughtobearthatmock;
ForithathbeentoldmemanyatimeThatyouwouldbeseeninnosuchcompanyasmine。
WIT。
NotWitinthecompanyofLadyWisdom?
OhJove,forwhatdoIhithercome?
INCLINATION。
Sir,shedidthisnothingelsebuttoproveWhetheralittlethingwouldyoumoveTobeangryandfret:
What,andifonesaidso?
LetsuchtriflingmattersgoAndwithakindkisscomeoutofherdebt。——
IsLugginscomeyetwiththebeard?
[EnteranotherPlayer。]
PLAYER。
No,faith,heisnotcome:alas,whatshallwedo?
INCLINATION。
Forsooth,wecangonofurthertillourfellowLugginscome;forheplaysGoodCouncil,andnowheshouldenter,toadmonishWitthatthisisLadyVanity,andnotLadyWisdom。
MORE。
Nay,anditbenomorebutso,yeshallnottarryatastandforthat;
we’llnothaveourplaymarredforlackofalittlegoodcouncil:tillyourfellowcome,I’llgivehimthebestcouncilthatIcan。——Pardonme,myLordMayor;Ilovetobemerry。——
Oh……Wit,thouartnowonthebowhand,Andblindlyinthineownopiniondoststand。
Itellthee,thisnaughtylewdInclinationDoesleadtheeamissinaverystrangefashion:
ThisisnotWisdom,butLadyVanity;
ThereforelisttoGoodCouncil,andberuledbyme。
INCLINATION。
Introth,mylord,itisasrighttoLugginsespartascanbe。——Speak,Wit。
MORE。
Nay,wewillnothaveouraudiencedisappointed,ifIcanhelpit。
WIT。
ArtthouGoodCouncil,andwilltellmeso?
WouldstthouhaveWitfromLadyWisdomtogo?
Thouartsomedeceiver,Itelltheeverily,InsayingthatthisisLadyVanity。
MORE。
Wit,judgenotthingsbytheoutwardshow;
Theeyeoftmistakes,rightwellyoudoknow:
GoodCouncilassurestheeuponhishonesty,ThatthisisnotWisdom,butLadyVanity。
[EnterLugginswiththebeard。]
INCLINATION。
Oh,mylord,heiscome;nowweshallgoforward。
MORE。
Artthoucome?well,fellow,Ihavehopedtosavethinehonestyalittle。Now,ifthoucanstgiveWitanybettercouncilthanIhavedone,sparenot:thereIleavehimtotheymercy。
Butbythistime,Iamsure,ourbanquet’sready:
Mylordandladies,wewilltastethatfirst,Andthentheyshallbegintheplayagain,Whichthroughthefellow’sabsence,andbyme,Insteadofhelping,hathbeenhindered。——
Prepareagainstwecome。——Lightsthere,Isay!——
Thusfoolsofttimesdohelptomartheplay。
[Exeuntallbutplayers。]
WIT。
Fie,fellowLuggins,youserveushandsomely;doyenot,thinkye?
LUGGINS。
Why,Oaglewasnotwithin,andhiswifewouldnotletmehavethebeard;and,bymytroth,IransofastthatIsweatagain。
INCLINATION。
Doyehear,fellows?wouldnotmylordmakearareplayer?oh,hewouldupholdacompanybeyondallhope,betterthanMasonamongtheking’splayers!Didyemarkhowextempricallyhefelltothematter,andspakeLugginsespartalmostasitisintheverybooksetdown?
WIT。
Peace;doyeknowwhatyesay?mylordaplayer!letusnotmeddlewithanysuchmatters:yetImaybealittleproudthatmylordhathansweredmeinmypart。Butcome,letusgo,andbereadytobegintheplayagain。
LUGGINS。
I,that’sthebest,fornowwelacknothing。
[EnteraServingman。]
MAN。
Wherebetheseplayers?
ALL。
Here,sir。
MAN。
Mylordissentfortothecourt,Andalltheguestsdoaftersupperpart;
And,forhewillnottroubleyouagain,Bymeforyourrewardasends8angels,Withmanythanks。Butsupbeforeyougo:
Itishiswillyoushouldbefairlyentreated:
Follow,Iprayye。
WIT。
This,Luggins,isyournegligence;
WantingWit’sbeardbroughtthingsintodislike;
Forotherwisetheplayhadbeenallseen,Wherenowsomecuriouscitizendisgracedit,Anddiscommendingit,allisdismissed。
VICE。
ForeGod,asaystrue。Buthearye,sirs:8angels,ha!mylordwouldnevergive8angelsmoreorlessfor12d;otheritshouldbe3l,5l,ortenli。;there’s20swanting,sure。
WIT。
Twentytoone,tisso。Ihaveatrick:mylordcomes;standaside。
[EnterMore,withAttendantswithPurseandMace。]
MORE。
Inhastetocounsel!what’sthebusinessnow,Thatallsolatehishighnesssendsforme?——
Whatseekstthou,fellow?
WIT。
Nay,nothing:yourlordshipsent8angelsbyyourman,andIhavelosttwoofthemintherishes。
MORE。
Wit,looktothat:——8angels!Ididsendthemten。——Whogaveitthem?
MAN。
I,mylord;Ihadnomoreaboutme;
Butbyandbytheyshallrescuetherest。
MORE。
Well,Wit,twaswiselydone;thouplayestWitwellindeed,Nottobethusdeceivedofthyright。——
AmIaman,byofficetrulyordainedEquallytodecidetruerighthisown,AndshallIhavedeceiversinmyhouse?
Thenwhatavailsmybounty,whensuchservantsDeceivethepoorofwhattheMastergives?
Goon,andpullhiscoatoverhisears:
Therearetoomanysuch。——Givethemtheirright。——
Wit,letthyfellowsthankthee:twaswelldone;
ThounowdeservesttomatchwithLadyWisdom。
[ExitMorewithAttendants。]
VICE。
Godamercy,Wit!——Sir,youhadamasterSirThomasMoremore;
butnowweshallhavemore。
LUGGINS。
Godblesshim!Iwouldthereweremoreofhismind!alovesourquality;andyethe’salearnedman,andknowswhattheworldis。
CLOWN。
Well,akindman,andmorelovingthanmanyother:butIthinkweha’metwiththefirst……
LUGGINS。
Firstservedhismanthathadourangels;andhemaychancedinewithDukeHumphreytomorrow,beingturnedawaytoday。Come,let’sgo。
CLOWN。
Andmanysuchrewardswouldmakeusallride,andhorseuswiththebestnagsinSmithfield。
[Exeunt。]
SCENEII。Whitehall。TheCouncilchamber。
[EntertheEarlsofShrewsbury,Surrey,BishopofRochester,andotherLords;severally,doingcourtesytoeachother;ClerkoftheCouncilwaitingbareheaded。]
SURREY。
GoodmorrowtomyLordofShrewsbury。
SHREWSBURY。
ThelikeuntothehonouredEarlofSurrey。
YondcomesmyLordofRochester。
ROCHESTER。
Goodmorrow,mygoodlords。
SURREY。
ClerkoftheCouncil,whattimeis’tofday?
CLERK。
Pasteightofclock,mylord。
SHREWSBURY。
IwonderthatmygoodLordChancellorDothstaysolong,consideringthere’smattersOfhighimportancetobescannedupon。
SURREY。
ClerkoftheCouncil,certifyhislordshipThelordsexpecthimhere。
ROCHESTER。
Itshallnotneed;
Yondcomeshislordship。
[EnterSirThomasMore,withPurseandMacebornebeforehim。]
MORE。
Goodmorrowtothisfairassembly。
Come,mygoodlords,let’ssit。Ohserioussquare!
[Theysit。]
UponthislittleboardisdailyscannedThehealthandpreservationoftheland;
Wethephysiciansthateffectthisgood,Nowbychoicediet,anonbylettingblood;
OurtoilandcarefulwatchingbringsthekingInleaguewithslumbers,towhichpeacedothsing。——
Avoidtheroomthere!——
Whatbusiness,lords,today?
第2章