DRAMATISPERSONAE。
EarlofSHREWSBURY。
EarlofSURREY。
SirTHOMASPALMER。
SirROGERCHOMLEY。
SirTHOMASMORE。
LordMayor。
Aldermen。
SURESBY,aJustice。
OtherJustices。
Sheriffs。
Recorder。
SergeantatArms。
ClerkoftheCouncil。
ERASMUS。
BishopofRochester。
ROPER,son-in-lawtoMORE。
JOHNLINCOLN,abroker。
GEORGEBETTS。
Hisbrother(the’Clown’)。
WILLIAMSON,acarpenter。
SHERWIN,agoldsmith。
FRANCISDEBARDE,Lombard。
CAVELER,Lombard。
LIFTER,acut-purse。
SMART,plaintiffagainsthim。
HARRY,ROBIN,KIT,andothers,Prentices。
MORRIS。
FAULKNER,hisservant。
Players。
GOUGH。
CATESBY。
RANDALL。
Butler。
Brewer。
Porter。
Horsekeeper。
CROFTS。
DOWNES。
LieutenantoftheTower。
WardersoftheTower。
GentlemanPorteroftheTower。
Hangman。
Lords,Gentlemen,Officers,Messengers,Guard,Attendants。
LadyMORE。
LadyMayoress。
MistressROPER,daughtertoMORE。
AnotherdaughtertoMORE。
DOLL,wifetoWILLIAMSON。
APoorWoman。
Ladies。
ACTI。
SCENEI。London。AStreet。
[Enter,atoneend,JohnLincoln,withthetwoBettsestogether;attheotherend,entersFrancisdeBardeandDollalustywoman,hehalingherbythearm。]
DOLL。
Whetherwiltthouhaleme?
BARDE。
WhetherIplease;thouartmyprize,andIpleadpurchaseofthee。
DOLL。
Purchaseofme!away,yerascal!Iamanhonestplaincarpenterswife,andthoughIhavenobeautytolikeahusband,yetwhatsoeverisminescornstostooptoastranger:handoff,then,whenIbidthee!
BARDE。
Gowithmequietly,orI’llcompelthee。
DOLL。
Compelme,yedog’sface!thouthinkstthouhastthegoldsmith’swifeinhand,whomthouenticedstfromherhusbandwithallhisplate,andwhenthouturndstherhometohimagain,madsthim,likeanass,payforhiswife’sboard。
BARDE。
SowillImakethyhusbandtoo,ifpleaseme。
[EnterCavelerwithapairofdoves;Williamsonthecarpenter,andSherwinfollowinghim。]
DOLL。
Herehecomeshimself;tellhimso,ifthoudarst。
CAVELER。
Followmenofurther;Isaythoushaltnothavethem。
WILLIAMSON。
IboughttheminCheapside,andpaidmymoneyforthem。
SHERWIN。
Hedid,sir,indeed;andyouofferhimwrong,bothtotakethemfromhim,andnotrestorehimhismoneyneither。
CAVELER。
Ifhepaidforthem,letitsufficethatIpossessthem:beefsandbrewsmayservesuchhinds;arepigeonsmeatforacoarsecarpenter?
LINCOLN。
ItishardwhenEnglishmen’spatiencemustbethusjettedonbystrangers,andtheynotdaretorevengetheirownwrongs。
GEORGE。
Lincoln,let’sbeatthemdown,andbearnomoreoftheseabuses。
LINCOLN。
Wemaynot,Betts:bepatient,andhearmore。
DOLL。
Hownow,husband!what,onestrangertaketheyfoodfromthee,andanotherthywife!byourLady,fleshandblood,Ithink,canhardlybrookthat。
LINCOLN。
Willthisgearneverbeotherwise?mustthesewrongsbethusendured?
GEORGE。
Letusstepin,andhelptorevengetheirinjury。
BARDE。
Whatartthouthattalkestofrevenge?mylordambassadorshalloncemoremakeyourMajorhaveacheck,ifhepunishtheeforthissaucypresumption。
WILLIAMSON。
Indeed,mylordMayor,ontheambassador’scomplaint,sentmetoNewgateoneday,because(againstmywill)Itookthewallofastranger:youmaydoanything;thegoldsmith’swifeandminenowmustbeatyourcommandment。
GEORGE。
Themorepatientfoolsareyeboth,tosufferit。
BARDE。
Sufferit!menditthouorhe,ifyecanordare。Itellthee,fellows,andsheweretheMayorofLondon’swife,hadIheronceinmypossession,Iwouldkeepherinspiteofhimthatdurstsaynay。
GEORGE。
Itellthee,Lombard,thesewordsshouldcostthybestcape,wereI
notcurbedbydutyandobedience:theMayorofLondon’swife!
OhGod,shallitbethus?
DOLL。
Why,Betts,amnotIasdeartmhusbandasmylordMayor’swifetohim?andwiltthousoneglectlysufferthineownshame?——Handsoff,proudstranger!or,byhimthatboughtme,ifmen’smilkyheartsdarenotstrikeastranger,yetwomenbeatthemdown,eretheybeartheseabuses。
BARDE。
Mistress,Isayyoushallalongwithme。
DOLL。
TouchnotDollWilliamson,leastshelaytheealongonGod’sdearearth。——Andyou,sir[ToCaveler],thatallowsuchcoarsecatestocarpenters,whilstpigeons,whichtheypayfor,mustserveyourdaintyappetite,deliverthembacktomyhusbandagain,orI’llcallsomanywomentomineassistanceaswillnotleaveoneinchuntornofthee:ifourhusbandsmustbebridledbylaw,andforcedtobearyourwrongs,theirwiveswillbealittlelawless,andsoundlybeatye。
CAVELER。
Comeaway,DeBarde,andletusgocomplaintomylordambassador。
[ExeuntAmbo。]
DOLL。
Aye,go,andsendhimamongus,andwe’llgivehimhiswelcometoo。——IamashamedthatfreebornEnglishmen,havingbeatenstrangerswithintheirownhomes,shouldthusbebravedandabusedbythemathome。
SHERWIN。
Itisnotourlackofcourageinthecause,butthestrictobediencethatweareboundto。Iamthegoldsmithwhosewrongsyoutalkedof;buthowtoredressyoursormineownisamatterbeyondourabilities。
LINCOLN。
Notso,notso,mygoodfriends:I,thoughameanman,abrokerbyprofession,andnamedJohnLincoln,havelongtimewinkedatthesewildenormitieswithmightyimpatience,and,asthesetwobrethrenhere(Bettsbyname)canwitness,withlossofmineownlifewouldgladlyremedythem。
GEORGE。
Andheisinagoodforwardness,Itellye,ifallhitright。
DOLL。
Ashow,Iprithee?tellittoDollWilliamson。
LINCOLN。
YouknowtheSpittlesermonsbeginthenextweek:Ihavedrawnabillofourwrongsandthestrangers’insolences。
GEORGE。
Whichhemeansthepreachersshallthereopenlypublishinthepulpit。
WILLIAMSON。
Oh,butthattheywould!yfaith,itwouldtickleourstrangersthoroughly。
DOLL。
Aye,andifyoumendurstnotundertakeit,beforeGod,wewomenwould。Takeanhonestwomanfromherhusband!why,itisintolerable。
SHERWIN。
Buthowfindyethepreachersaffectedtoourproceeding?
LINCOLN。
MasterDoctorStandishhathansweredthatitbecomesnothimtomoveanysuchthinginhissermon,andtellsuswemustmovetheMayorandaldermentoreformit,anddoubtsnotbuthappysuccesswillensueonstatementofourwrongs。Youshallperceivethere’snohurtinthebill:here’sacoupleofit;Iprayye,hearit。
ALL。
Withallourhearts;forGod’ssake,readit。
LINCOLN。
[Reads。]Toyouall,theworshipfullordsandmastersofthiscity,thatwilltakecompassionoverthepoorpeopleyourneighbors,andalsoofthegreatimportablehurts,losses,andhinderances,whereofproceedethextremepovertytoalltheking’ssubjectsthatinhabitwithinthiscityandsuburbsofthesame:forsoitisthataliensandstrangerseatthebreadfromthefatherlesschildren,andtakethelivingfromalltheartificersandtheintercoursefromallthemerchants,wherebypovertyissomuchincreased,thateverymanbewaileththemiseryofother;forcraftsmenbebroughttobeggary,andmerchantstoneediness:wherefore,thepremisesconsidered,theredressmustbeofthecommonknitandunitedtoonepart:andasthehurtanddamagegrievethallmen,somustallmenseetotheirwillingpowerforremedy,andnotsufferthesaidaliensintheirwealth,andthenaturalbornmenofthisregiontocometoconfusion。
DOLL。
BeforeGod,tisexcellent;andI’llmaintainthesuittobehonest。
SHERWIN。
Well,saytisread,whatisyourfurthermeaninginthematter?
GEORGE。
What!marry,listtome。Nodoubtbutthiswillstoreuswithfriendsenow,whosenameswewillcloselykeepinwriting;andonMaydaynextinthemorningwe’llgoforthaMaying,butmakeittheworstMaydayforthestrangersthatevertheysaw。Howsayye?doyesubscribe,orareyefaint-heartedrevolters?
DOLL。
Holdthee,GeorgeBetts,there’smyhandandmyheart:bytheLord,I’llmakeacaptainamongye,anddosomewhattobetalkofforeverafter。
WILLIAMSON。
Mymasters,erewepart,let’sfriendlygoanddrinktogether,andsweartruesecrecyuponourlives。
GEORGE。
Therespakeanangel。Come,letusalong,then。
[Exeunt。]
SCENEII。London。TheSessionsHouse。
[Anarrasisdrawn,andbehinditasinsessionssittheLordMayor,JusticeSuresby,andotherJustices;SheriffMoreandtheotherSheriffsittingby。Smartistheplaintiff,Liftertheprisoneratthebar。Recorder,Officers。]
LORDMAYOR。
Havingdispatchedourweightierbusinesses,Wemaygiveeartopettyfelonies。
MasterSheriffMore,whatisthisfellow?
MORE。
Mylord,hestandsindictedforapurse;
Hehathbeentried,thejuryistogether。
LORDMAYOR。
Whosenthimin?
SURESBY。
ThatdidI,mylord:
Hadhehadright,hehadbeenhangederethis;
Theonlycaptainofthecutpursecrew。
LORDMAYOR。
Whatishisname?
SURESBY。
Ashisprofessionis,Lifter,mylord,Onethatcanliftapurserightcunningly。
LORDMAYOR。
Andisthatheaccuseshim?
SURESBY。
Thesame,mylord,whom,byyourhonorsleave,Imustsaysomewhattoo,becauseIfindInsomerespectsheiswellworthyblame。
LORDMAYOR。
GoodMasterJusticeSuresby,speakyourmind;
Wearewellpleasedtogiveyouaudience。
SURESBY。
Hearme,Smart;thouartafoolishfellow:
IfLifterbeconvictedbythelaw,AsIseenothowthejurycanacquithim,I’llstandtoo’tthouartguiltyofhisdeath。
MORE。
Mylord,that’sworthythehearing。
LORDMAYOR。
Listen,then,goodMasterMore。
SURESBY。
Itelltheeplain,itisashameforthee,Withsuchasumtotemptnecessity;
Nolessthantenpounds,sir,willserveyourturn,Tocarryinyourpurseaboutwithye,Tocrakeandbragintavernsofyourmoney:
Ipromiseye,amanthatgoesabroadWithanintentoftruth,meetingsuchabooty,Maybeprovokedtothathenevermeant。
Whatmakessomanypilferersandfelons,ButsuchfondbaitsthatfoolishpeoplelayTotempttheneedymiserablewretch?
Tenpounds,oddmoney;thisisaprettysumTobearabout,whichweremoresafeathome。
ForeGod,twerewelltofineyeasmuchmore[LordMayorandMorewhisper。]
Tothereliefofthepoorprisoners,Toteachyebemorecarefulofyourown,Insooth,Isayyewerebutrightlyserved,Ifyehadlostasmuchastwicetenpounds。
MORE。
Goodmylord,soothapointortwoforonce,Onlytotryconclusionsinthiscase。
LORDMAYOR。
Content,goodMasterMore:we’llriseawhile,And,tillthejurycanreturntheirverdict,Walkinthegarden。——Howsayye,Justices?
ALL。
Welikeitwell,mylord;we’llfollowye。
[ExeuntLordMayorandJustices。]
MORE。
Nay,plaintiff,goyoutoo;——andofficers,[ExeuntSmart。]
Standyouaside,andleavetheprisonerTomeawhile。——Lifter,comehither。
LIFTER。
Whatisyourworship’spleasure?
MORE。
Sirrah,youknowthatyouareknowntome,AndIhaveoftensavedyefromthisplace,SincefirstIcameinoffice:thouseestbeside,ThatJusticeSuresbyisthyheavyfriend,ByalltheblamethathepretendstoSmart,Fortemptingtheewithsuchasumofmoney。
Itelltheewhat;devisemebutameansTopickorcuthispurse,and,onmycredit,AndasIamaChristianandaman,Iwillprocuretheypardonforthatjest。
LIFTER。
GoodMasterShrieve,seeknotmyoverthrow:
Youknow,sir,Ihavemanyheavyfriends,Andmoreindictmentsliketocomeuponme。
Youaretoodeepformetodealwithal;
YouareknowntobeoneofthewisestmenThatisinEngland:Iprayye,MasterSheriff,Gonotabouttounderminemylife。
MORE。
Lifter,Iamtruesubjecttomyking;
Thoumuchmistakeme:and,forthoushallnotthinkImeanbythistohurtthylifeatall,Iwillmaintaintheactwhenthouhastdoneit。
Thouknowesttherearesuchmattersinmyhands,AsifIpleasedtogivethemtothejury,Ishouldnotneedthiswaytocircumventthee。
AllthatIaimatisamerryjest:
Performit,Lifter,andexpectmybest。
LIFTER。
Ithankyourworship:Godpreserveyourlife!
ButMasterJusticeSuresbyisgonein;
Iknownothowtocomenearwhereheis。
MORE。
Letmealoneforthat;I’llbethysetter;
I’llsendhimhithertotheepresently,Underthecolourofthineownrequest,Ofprivatematterstoacquainthimwith。
LIFTER。
Ifyedoso,sir,thenletmealone;
Fortytoonebutthenhispurseisgone。
MORE。
Wellsaid:butseethatthoudiminishnotOnepennyofthemoney,butgiveitme;
Itisthecunningactthatcreditsthee。
LIFTER。
Iwill,goodMasterSheriff,Iassureye。
[ExeuntMore。]
IseethepurposeofthisgentlemanIsbuttocheckthefollyoftheJustice,Forblamingothersinadesperatecase,Whereinhimselfmayfallassoonasany。
Tosavemylife,itisagoodadventure:
Silencethere,ho!nowdoththeJusticeenter。
[EnterJusticeSuresby。]
SURESBY。
Now,sirrah,now,whatisyourwillwithme?
Wiltthoudischargethyconsciencelikeanhonestman?
Whatsayesttome,sirrah?bebrief,bebrief。
LIFTER。
Asbrief,sir,asIcan。——
[Aside。]Ifyestandfair,Iwillbebriefanon。
SURESBY。
Speakout,andmumblenot;whatsayestthou,sirrah?
LIFTER。
Sir,Iamcharged,asGodshallbemycomfort,Withmorethan’strue。
SURESBY。
Sir,sir,yeareindeed,withmorethan’strue,Foryouareflatlychargedwithfelony;
You’rechargedwithmorethantruth,andthatistheft;
Morethanatruemanshouldbechargedwithal;
Thouartavarlet,that’snomorethantrue。
Triflenotwithme;donot,donot,sirrah;
Confessbutwhatthouknowest,Iasknomore。
LIFTER。
Therebe,sir,therebe,if’tshallpleaseyourworship——
SURESBY。
Therebe,varlet!whatbethere?tellmewhattherebe。
Comeofforon:therebe!whatbethere,knave?
LIFTER。
Therebe,sir,diverseverycunningfellows,That,whileyoustandandlookthemintheface,Willhaveyourpurse。
SURESBY。
Th’artanhonestknave:
Tellmewhatarethey?wheretheymaybecaught?
Aye,thosearetheyIlookfor。
LIFTER。
Youtalkofme,sir;
Alas,Iamapuny!there’soneindeedGoesbymyname,heputsdownallforpurses;
He’llstealyourworship’spurseunderyournose。
SURESBY。
Ha,ha!Artthousosure,varlet?
Well,well,Beasfamiliarasthouwilt,myknave;
TisthisIlongtoknow。
LIFTER。
Andyoushallhaveyourlongingereyego。——
Thisfellow,sir,perhapswillmeetyethus,Orthus,orthus,andinkindcomplementPretendacquaintance,somewhatdoubtfully;
Andtheseembracesserve——
SURESBY。
Aye,marry,Lifter,whereforservethey?
[Shrugginggladly。]
LIFTER。
OnlytofeelWhetheryougofullundersailorno,Orthatyourladingbeaboardyourbark。
SURESBY。
InplainerEnglish,Lifter,ifmypurseBestoredorno?
LIFTER。
Yehaveit,sir。
SURESBY。
Excellent,excellent。
LIFTER。
Then,sir,youcannotbutformanner’ssakeWalkonwithhim;forhewillwalkyourway,Allegingeitheryouhavemuchforgothim,Orhemistakesyou。
SURESBY。
Butinthistimehashemypurseorno?
LIFTER。
Notyet,sir,fie!——
[Aside。}No,norIhavenotyours。——
[EnterLordMayor,&c。]
Butnowwemustforbear;mylordsreturn。
SURESBY。
Amurrenon’t!——Lifter,we’llmoreanon:
Aye,thousayesttrue,thereareshrewdknavesindeed:
[Hesitsdown。]
Butletthemgullme,widgenme,rookme,fopme!
Yfaith,yfaith,theyaretooshortforme。
Knavesandfoolsmeetwhenpursesgo:
Wisemenlooktotheirpurseswellenough。
MORE。
[Aside。]Lifter,isitdone?
LIFTER。
[Aside。]Done,MasterShreeve;andthereitis。
MORE。
[Aside。]Thenbuilduponmyword。I’llsavethylife。
RECORDER。
Lifter,standtothebar:
Thejuryhavereturnedtheguilty;thoumustdie,Accordingtothecustom。——Looktoit,MasterShreeve。
LORDMAYOR。
Then,gentlemen,asyouarewonttodo,Becauseasyetwehavenoburialplace,Whatcharityyourmeaning’stobestowTowardburialoftheprisonersnowcondemned,Letitbegiven。Thereisfirstforme。
RECORDER。
Andthereforme。
ANOTHER。
Andme。
SURESBY。
Bodyofme,mypurseisgone!
MORE。
Gone,sir!what,here!howcanthatbe?
LORDMAYOR。
Againstallreason,sittingonthebench。
SURESBY。
Lifter,Italkedwithyou;youhavenotliftedme?ha!
LIFTER。
Suspectyeme,sir?Oh,whataworldisthis!
MORE。
Buthearye,masterSuresby;areyesureYehadapurseaboutye?
SURESBY。
Sure,MasterShrieve!assureasyouarethere,Andinitsevenpounds,oddmoney,onmyfaith。
MORE。
Sevenpounds,oddmoney!what,wereyousomad,Beingawisemanandamagistrate,Totrustyourpursewithsuchaliberalsum?
Sevenpounds,oddmoney!foreGod,itisashame,Withsuchasumtotemptnecessity:
Ipromiseye,amanthatgoesabroadWithanintentoftruth,meetingsuchabooty,Maybewroughttothatheneverthought。
Whatmakessomanypilferersandfelons,ButthesefondbaitsthatfoolishpeoplelayTotempttheneedymiserablewretch?
Shouldhebetakennowthathasyourpurse,I’dstandto’t,youareguiltyofhisdeath;
For,questionless,hewouldbecastbylaw。
Twereagooddeedtofineyeasmuchmore,Tothereliefofthepoorprisoners,Toteachyelockyourmoneyupathome。
SURESBY。
Well,MasterMore,youareamerryman;
Ifindye,sir,Ifindyewellenough。
MORE。
Nay,yeshallsee,sir,trustingthusyourmoney,AndLifterhereintrialforlikecase,Butthatthepoormanisaprisoner,Itwouldbenowsuspectedthathehadit。
ThusmayyeseewhatmischiefoftencomesBythefondcarriageofsuchneedlesssums。
LORDMAYOR。
Believeme,MasterSuresby,thisisstrange,You,beingamansosettledinassurance,Willfallinthatwhichyoucondemnedinother。
MORE。
Well,MasterSuresby,there’syourpurseagain,Andallyourmoney:fearnothingofMore;
Wisdomstillkeepsthemeanandlocksthedoor。
SCENEIII。London。Astateapartment。
[EntertheEarlsofShrewsburyandSurrey,SirThomasPalmer,andSirRogerCholmley。]
SHREWSBURY。
MylordofSurrey,andSirThomasPalmerMightIwithpatiencetemptyourgraveadvise,Itellyetrue,thatinthesedangeroustimesIdonotlikethisfrowningvulgarbrow:
MysearchingeyedidneverentertainAmoredistractedcountenanceofgriefThanIhavelateobservedInthedispleasedcommonsofthecity。
SURREY。
Tisstrangethatfromhisprincelyclemency,Sowellatemperedmercyandagrace,Toallthealiensinthisfruitfulland,Thatthishigh-crestedinsolenceshouldspringFromthemthatbreathefromhismajesticbounty,That,fattenedwiththetrafficofourcountry,Alreadyleapsintohissubject’sface。
PALMER。
YetSherwin,hinderedtocommencehissuitAgainstDeBardebytheambassador,Bysupplicationmadeuntotheking,Whohavingfirstenticedawayhiswife,Andgothisplate,nearworthfourhundredpound,TogrievesomewrongedcitizensthatfoundThisviledisgraceoftcastintotheirteeth,OflatesuesSherwin,andarrestedhimFormoneyfortheboardingofhiswife。
SURREY。
ThemoreknaveBarde,that,usingSherwin’sgoods,Dothaskhiminterestfortheoccupation。
Ilikenotthat,mylordofShrewsbury:
He’sillbestedthatlendsawellpacedhorseUntoamanthatwillnotfindhimmeet。
CHOLMLEY。
MylordofSurreywillbepleasantstill。
PALMER。
Aye,beingthenemployedbyyourhonorsTostaythebroilthatfellaboutthesame,WherebypersuasionIenforcedthewrongs,Andurgedthegriefofthedispleasedcity,Heansweredme,andwithasolemnoath,That,ifhehadtheMayorofLondon’swife,HewouldkeepherindespiteofanyEnglish。
SURREY。
Tisgood,SirThomas,then,foryouandme;
Yourwifeisdead,andIabachelor:
Ifnomancanpossesshiswifealone,Iamglad,SirThomasPalmer,Ihavenone。
CHOLMLEY。
Ifatakeawife,ashallfindhermeet。
SURREY。
Andreasongood,SirRogerCholmley,too。
IfthesehotFrenchmenneedslywillhavesport,Theyshouldinkindnessyetdefraythecharge:
Tishardwhenmenpossessourwivesinquiet,Andyetleaveusin,todischargetheirdiet。
SHREWSBURY。
Mylord,ourcatoursshallnotusethemarketForourprovision,butsomestrangernowWilltakethevittailesfromhimhehathbought:
Acarpenter,asIwaslateinformed,WhohavingboughtapairofdovesinCheap,ImmediatelyaFrenchmantookthemfromhim,Andbeatthepoormanforresistinghim;
Andwhenthefellowdidcomplainhiswrongs,Hewasseverelypunishedforhislabor。
SURREY。
ButiftheEnglishbloodbeoncebutup,AsIperceivetheirheartsalreadyfull,Ifearmemuch,beforetheirspleensbecold,SomeofthesesaucyaliensfortheirprideWillpayfor’tsoundly,wheresoereitlights:
Thistideofragethatwiththeeddystrives,Ifearmemuch,willdrowntoomanylives。
CHOLMLEY。
Now,aforeGod,yourhonors,pardonme:
Menofyourplaceandgreatnessaretoblame。
Itellyetrue,mylords,inthathismajestyIsnotinformedofthisbaseabuseAnddailywrongsareofferedtohissubjects;
For,ifhewere,IknowhisgraciouswisdomWouldsoonredressit。
[EnteraMessenger。]
SHREWSBURY。
Sirrah,whatnews?
CHOLMLEY。
Nonegood,Ifear。
MESSENGER。
Mylord,illnews;andworse,Ifear,willfollow,Ifspeedilyitbenotlookedunto:
Thecityisinanuproar,andtheMayorIsthreatened,ifhecomeoutofhishouse。
AnumberpoorartificersareupInarmsandthreatentoavengetheirwrongs。
CHOLMLEY。
Wefearedwhatthiswouldcomeunto:
ThisfollowsonthedoctorspublishingThebillofwrongsinpublicattheSpittle。
SHREWSBURY。
ThatDoctorBealemaychancebeshrewhimselfForreadingofthebill。
PALMER。
LetusgogatherforcestotheMayor,Forquicksuppressingthisrebelliousroute。
SURREY。
NowIbethinkmyselfofMasterMore,Oneofthesheriffs,awiseandlearnedgentleman,Andinespecialfavourwiththepeople:
He,backedwithothergraveandsobermen,MaybyhisgentleandpersuasivespeechPerhapsprevailmorethanwecanwithpower。
SHREWSBURY。
Believeme,butyourhonorwelladvises:
Letusmakehaste;forIdogreatlyfearSomeoftheirgravesthismorning’sworkwillbear。
[Exeunt。]
ACTII。
SCENEI。Cheapside。
[EnterthreeorfourApprenticesoftrades,withapairofcudgels。]
HARRY。
Come,laydownthecudgels。Ho,Robin,youmetuswellatBunhill,tohaveyouwithusaMayingthismorning。
ROBIN。
Faith,Harry,theheaddrawerattheMiterbythegreatConduitcalledmeup,andwewenttobreakfastintoSt。Annelane。Butcome,whobegins?ingoodfaith,Iamcleanoutofpractise。WhenwastatGarretsschool,Harry?
HARRY。
Notthisgreatwhile,neversinceIbrakehisushershead,whenheplayedhisscholarsprizeattheStarinBread-street。IusealltoGeorgePhilpotsatDowgate;he’sthebestbackswordmaninEngland。
KIT。
Batemeanaceofthat,quothBolton。
HARRY。
I’llnotbateyeapinon’t,sir;for,bythiscudgel,tistrue。
KIT。
Iwillcudgelthatopinionoutofye:didyoubreakanushershead,sir?
HARRY。
Aye,marry,didI,sir。
KIT。
Iamverygladon’t:youshallbreakminetoo,andyecan。
HARRY。
Sirrah,Iprithee,whatartthou?
KIT。
Why,Iamaprenticeasthouart;seestthounow?I’llplaywiththeeatblunthereinCheapside,andwhenthouhastdone,ifthoubeestangry,I’llfightwiththeeatsharpinMoorefields。Ihaveaswordtoservemyturninafavor……comeJulie,toserve……
SCENEII。SaintMartins-le-Grand。
[EnterLincoln,twoBettses,Williamson,Sherwin,andother,armed;Dollinashirtofmail,aheadpiece,sword,andbuckler;acrewattending。]
CLOWN。
Come,come;we’lltickletheirturnips,we’llbuttertheirboxes。
Shallstrangersruletheroost?yes;butwe’llbastetheroost。Come,come;aflaunt,aflaunt!
GEORGE。
Brother,giveplace,andhearJohnLincolnspeak。
CLOWN。
Aye,Lincolnmyleader,AndDollmytruebreeder,Withtherestofourcrew,Shallrantantarraran;
Doalltheywhattheycan。
Shallwebebobbed,braved?no:
Shallwebeheldunder?no;
Wearefreeborne,AnddotakescornTobeusedso。
DOLL。
Peacethere,Isay!hearCaptainLincolnspeak;keepsilence,tillweknowhismindatlarge。
CLOWN。
Thenlargelydeliver;speak,bully:andhethatpresumestointerrupttheeinthyoration,thisforhim。
LINCOLN。
Then,gallantbloods,youwhosefreesoulsdoscornTobeartheinforcedwrongsofaliens,Addragetoresolution,firethehousesOftheseaudaciousstrangers。ThisisSt。Martins,AndyonderdwellsMutas,awealthyPiccardy,AttheGreenGate,DeBarde,PeterVanHollocke,AdrianMartine,Withmanymoreoutlandishfugitives。
ShalltheseenjoymoreprivilegethanweInourowncountry?let’s,then,becometheirslaves。
Sincejusticekeepsnotthemingreaterawe,Webeourselvesroughministersatlaw。
CLOWN。
Usenomoreswords,nornomorewords,butfirethehouses;bravecaptaincourageous,firemetheirhouses。
DOLL。
Aye,forwemayaswellmakebonfiresonMaydayasatmidsummer:we’llalterthedayinthecalendar,andsetitdowninflamingletters。
SHERWIN。
Stay!
No,thatwouldmuchendangerthewholecity,WheretoIwouldnottheleastprejudice。
DOLL。
No,norIneither;somaymineownhousebeburnedforcompany。
I’lltellyewhat:we’lldragthestrangersintoMorefields,andtherebombastthemtilltheystinkagain。
CLOWN。
Andthat’ssoondone;fortheysmellforfearalready。
GEORGE。
Letsomeofusenterthestrangers’houses,And,ifwefindthemthere,thenbringthemforth。
DOLL。
Butifyebringthemforthereyefindthem,I’llne’erallowofthat。
CLOWN。
Now,Mars,forthyhonor,DutchorFrench,Soitbeawench,I’lluponher。
[ExeuntsomeandSherwin。]
WILLIAMSON。
Now,lads,sureshallwelaborinoursafety。
IheartheMayorhathgatheredmeninarms,AndthatShreeveMoreanhouragorisedSomeofthePrivyCounselinatLudgate:
Forcenowmustmakeourpeace,orelsewefall;
’Twillsoonbeknownwearetheprincipal。
DOLL。
Andwhatofthat?ifthoubeestafraid,husband,gohomeagain,andhidetheyhead;for,bytheLord,I’llhavealittlesport,nowweareatit。
GEORGE。
Let’sstanduponourswords,and,iftheycome,Receivethemastheywereourenemies。
[EnterSherwinandtherest。]
CLOWN。
Apurchase,apurchase!wehavefound,wehafound——
DOLL。
What?
CLOWN。
Nothing;notaFrenchFlemingnoraFlemingFrenchtobefound;
butallfled,inplainEnglish。
LINCOLN。
Hownow!haveyoufoundany?
SHERWIN。
No,notone;they’reallfled。
LINCOLN。
Thenfirethehouses,that,theMayorbeingbusyAboutthequenchingofthem,wemayescape;
Burndowntheirkennels:letusstraightaway,LeastthisdayprovetousanillMayday。
CLOWN。
Fire,fire!I’llbethefirst:
Ifhangingcome,tiswelcome;that’stheworst。
[Exeunt。]
SCENEIII。TheGuildhall。
[EnteratonedoorSirThomasMoreandLordMayor;atanotherdoorSirJohnMundayhurt。]
LORDMAYOR。
What,SirJohnMunday,areyouhurt?
SIRJOHN。
Alittleknock,mylord。TherewasevennowAsortofprenticesplayingatcudgels;
Ididcommandthemtotheirmasters’houses;
Butnow,Ifearme,theyaregonetojoinWithLincoln,Sherwin,andtheirdangeroustrain。
MORE。
ThecaptainsofthisinsurrectionHavetakenthemselvestoarms,andcamebutnowToboththeCounters,wheretheyhavereleasedSundryindebtedprisoners,andfromthenceIhearthattheyaregoneintoSt。Martins,WheretheyintendtoofferviolenceTotheamazedLombards:therefore,mylord,Ifweexpectthesafetyofthecity,TistimethatforceorparleydoencounterWiththesedispleasedmen。
[EnteraMessenger。]
LORDMAYOR。
Hownow!whatnews?
MESSENGER。
Mylord,therebelshavebrokeopenNewgate,Fromwhencetheyhavedeliveredmanyprisoners,Bothfelonsandnotoriousmurderers,Thatdesperatelycleavetotheirlawlesstrain。
LORDMAYOR。
Upwiththedrawbridge,gathersomeforcesToCornhillandCheapside:——and,gentlemen,Ifdiligencebeweighedoneveryside,Aquietebbwillfollowthisroughtide。
[EnterShrewsbury,Surrey,Palmer,andCholmley。]
SHREWSBURY。
LordMayor,hismajesty,receivingnoticeOfthismostdangerousinsurrection,HathsentmylordofSurreyandmyself,SirThomasPalmerandourfollowers,ToadduntoyourforcesourbestmeansForpacifyingofthismutiny。
InGod’sname,then,setonwithhappyspeed!
Thekinglaments,ifonetruesubjectbleed。
SURREY。
IheartheymeantofiretheLombards’houses:
Ohpower,whatartthouinamadman’seyes!
Thoumakesttheploddingidiotbloody-wise。
MORE。
Mylords,IdoubtnotbutweshallappeaseWithacalmbreaththisfluxofdiscontent:
Tocallthemtoaparley,questionless——
PALMER。
Mayfalloutgood:tiswellsaid,MasterMore。
MORE。
Let’stothesesimplemen;formanysweatUnderthisact,thatknowsnotthelaw’sdebtWhichhangsupontheirlives;forsillymenPlodontheyknownothow,likeafool’spen,That,ending,showsnotanysentencewrit,Linkedbuttocommonreasonorslightestwit:
Thesefollowfornoharm;butyetincurSelfpenaltywiththosethatraisedthisstir。
AGod’sname,on,tocalmourprivatefoesWithbreathofgravity,notdangerousblows!
SCENEIV。St。Martin’sGate。
[EnterLincoln,Doll,Clown,GeorgeBetts,Williamson,others;
andaSergeantatArms。]
LINCOLN。
Peace,hearme:hethatwillnotseearedherringataHarrygroat,butteratelevenpenceapound,mealatnineshillingsabushel,andbeefatfournoblesastone,listtome。
GEORGE。
Itwillcometothatpass,ifstrangersbesuffered。Markhim。
LINCOLN。
Ourcountryisagreateatingcountry;ergo,theyeatmoreinourcountrythantheydointheirown。
CLOWN。
Byahalfpennyloaf,aday,troyweight。
LINCOLN。
Theybringinstrangeroots,whichismerelytotheundoingofpoorprentices;forwhat’sasorryparsniptoagoodheart?
WILLIAMSON。
Trash,trash;theybreedsoreeyes,andtisenoughtoinfectthecitywiththepalsey。
LINCOLN。
Nay,ithasinfecteditwiththepalsey;forthesebastardsofdung,asyouknowtheygrowindung,haveinfectedus,anditisourinfectionwillmakethecityshake,whichpartlycomesthroughtheeatingofparsnips。
CLOWN。
True;andpumpkinstogether。
SERGEANT。
Whatsayyetothemercyoftheking?
Doyerefuseit?
LINCOLN。
Youwouldhaveusuponthis,wouldyou?no,marry,dowenot;
weacceptoftheking’smercy,butwewillshownomercyuponthestrangers。
SERGEANT。
YouarethesimplestthingsthateverstoodInsuchaquestion。
LINCOLN。
Howsayyenow,prentices?prenticessimple!downwithhim!
ALL。
Prenticessimple!prenticessimple!
[EntertheLordMayor,Surrey,Shrewsbury,More。]
LORDMAYOR。
Hold!intheking’sname,hold!
SURREY。
Friends,masters,countrymen——
LORDMAYOR。
Peace,how,peace!Ichargeyou,keepthepeace!
SHREWSBURY。
Mymasters,countrymen——
WILLIAMSON。
ThenobleearlofShrewsbury,let’shearhim。
GEORGE。
We’llheartheearlofSurrey。
LINCOLN。
TheearlofShrewsbury。
GEORGE。
We’llhearboth。
ALL。
Both,both,both,both!
LINCOLN。
Peace,Isay,peace!areyoumenofwisdom,orwhatareyou?
SURREY。
Whatyouwillhavethem;butnotmenofwisdom。
ALL。
We’llnothearmylordofSurrey;no,no,no,no,no!Shrewsbury,Shrewsbury!
MORE。
Whilestheyareo’erthebankoftheirobedience,Thuswilltheybeardownallthings。
LINCOLN。
SheriffMorespeaks;shallwehearSheriffMorespeak?
DOLL。
Let’shearhim:akeepsaplentyfulshrievaltry,andamademybrotherArthurWatchinsSeriantSafesyeoman:let’shearShrieveMore。
ALL。
ShrieveMore,More,More,ShrieveMore!
MORE。
Evenbytheruleyouhaveamongyourselves,Commandstillaudience。
ALL。
Surrey,Surrey!More,More!
LINCOLN:
Peace,peace,silence,peace。
GEORGE。
Peace,peace,silence,peace。
MORE。
YouthathavevoiceandcreditwiththenumberCommandthemtoastillness。
LINCOLN。
Aplagueonthem,theywillnotholdtheirpeace;thedualcannotrulethem。
MORE。
Thenwhataroughandriotouschargehaveyou,Toleadthosethatthedualcannotrule?——
Goodmasters,hearmespeak。
DOLL。
Aye,byth’mass,willwe,More:th’artagoodhousekeeper,andI
thankthygoodworshipformybrotherArthurWatchins。
ALL。
Peace,peace。
MORE。
Look,whatyoudooffendyoucryupon,Thatis,thepeace:notoneofyouherepresent,Hadtheresuchfellowslivedwhenyouwerebabes,Thatcouldhavetoppedthepeace,asnowyouwould,ThepeacewhereinyouhavetillnowgrownupHadbeenta’enfromyou,andthebloodytimesCouldnothavebroughtyoutothestateofmen。
Alas,poorthings,whatisityouhavegot,Althoughwegrantyougetthethingyouseek?
GEORGE。
Marry,theremovingofthestrangers,whichcannotchoosebutmuchadvantagethepoorhandicraftsofthecity。
MORE。
Grantthemremoved,andgrantthatthisyournoiseHathchiddownallthemajestyofEngland;
Imaginethatyouseethewretchedstrangers,Theirbabiesattheirbacksandtheirpoorluggage,Ploddingtoothportsandcostsfortransportation,Andthatyousitaskingsinyourdesires,Authorityquitesilentbyyourbrawl,Andyouinruffofyouropinionsclothed;
Whathadyougot?I’lltellyou:youhadtaughtHowinsolenceandstronghandshouldprevail,Howordershouldbequelled;andbythispatternNotoneofyoushouldliveanagedman,Forotherruffians,astheirfancieswrought,Withselfsamehand,selfreasons,andselfright,Wouldsharkonyou,andmenlikeravenousfishesWouldfeedononeanother。
DOLL。
BeforeGod,that’sastrueastheGospel。
LINCOLN。
Nay,thisisasoundfellow,Itellyou:let’smarkhim。
MORE。
Letmesetupbeforeyourthoughts,goodfriends,Onsupposition;whichifyouwillmark,YoushallperceivehowhorribleashapeYourinnovationbears:first,tisasinWhichofttheapostledidforewarnusof,Urgingobediencetoauthority;
Andtwerenoerror,ifItoldyouall,YouwereinarmsagainstyourGodhimself。
ALL。
Marry,Godforbidthat!
MORE。
Nay,certainlyyouare;
FortothekingGodhathhisofficelentOfdread,ofjustice,powerandcommand,Hathbidhimrule,andwilledyoutoobey;
And,toaddamplermajestytothis,Hehathnotonlylentthekinghisfigure,Histhroneandsword,butgivenhimhisownname,Callshimagodonearth。Whatdoyou,then,RisinggainsthimthatGodhimselfinstalls,ButriseagainstGod?whatdoyoutoyoursoulsIndoingthis?O,desperateasyouare,Washyourfoulmindswithtears,andthosesamehands,Thatyoulikerebelsliftagainstthepeace,Liftupforpeace,andyourunreverentknees,Makethemyourfeettokneeltobeforgiven!
Tellmebutthis:whatrebelcaptain,Asmutiniesareincident,byhisnameCanstilltherout?whowillobeyatraitor?
Orhowcanwellthatproclamationsound,WhenthereisnoadditionbutarebelToqualifyarebel?You’llputdownstrangers,Killthem,cuttheirthroats,possesstheirhouses,Andleadthemajestyoflawinline,Tosliphimlikeahound。Saynowtheking(Asheisclement,ifth’offendermourn)
ShouldsomuchcometoshortofyourgreattrespassAsbuttobanishyou,whetherwouldyougo?
Whatcountry,bythenatureofyourerror,Shouldgiveyouharbor?goyoutoFranceorFlanders,ToanyGermanprovince,toSpainorPortugal,Nay,anywherethatnotadherestoEngland,——
Why,youmustneedsbestrangers:wouldyoubepleasedTofindanationofsuchbarbaroustemper,That,breakingoutinhideousviolence,Wouldnotaffordyouanabodeonearth,Whettheirdetestedknivesagainstyourthroats,Spurnyoulikedogs,andlikeasifthatGodOwednotnormadenotyou,northattheclaimantsWerenotallappropriatetoyourcomforts,Butchartereduntothem,whatwouldyouthinkTobethusused?thisisthestrangerscase;
Andthisyourmountanishinhumanity。
ALL。
Faith,asaystrue:let’sdoaswemaybedoneto。
LINCOLN。
We’llberuledbyyou,MasterMore,ifyou’llstandourfriendtoprocureourpardon。
MORE。
Submityoutothesenoblegentlemen,Entreattheirmediationtotheking,Giveupyourselftoform,obeythemagistrate,Andthere’snodoubtbutmercymaybefound,Ifyousoseek。
Topersistinitispresentdeath:but,ifyouYieldyourselves,nodoubtwhatpunishmentYouinsimplicityhaveincurred,hishighnessInmercywillmostgraciouslypardon。
ALL。
Weyield,anddesirehishighness’mercy。
[Theylaybytheirweapons。]
MORE。
Nodoubthismajestywillgrantityou:
Butyoumustyieldtogotoseveralprisons,Tillthathishighness’willbefurtherknown。
ALL。
Mostwillingly;whetheryouwillhaveus。
SHREWSBURY。
LordMayor,letthembesenttoseveralprisons,Andthere,inanycase,bewellintreated。——
MylordofSurrey,pleaseyoutotakehorse,AndridetoCheapside,wherethealdermenArewiththeirseveralcompaniesinarms;
Willthemtogountotheirseveralwards,Bothforthestayoffurthmutiny,AndfortheapprehendingofsuchpersonsAsshallcontend。
SURREY。
Igo,mynoblelord。
[ExitSurrey。]
SHREWSBURY。
We’llstraightgotellhishighnessthesegoodnews;
Withal,ShrieveMore,I’lltellhimhowyourbreathHathransomedmanyasubjectfromsaddeath。
[ExitShrewsburyandCholmley。]
LORDMAYOR。
LincolnandSherwin,youshallbothtoNewgate;
TherestuntotheCounters。
PALMER。
Goguardthemhence:alittlebreathwellspentCheatsexpectationinhisfairestevent。
DOLL。
Well,SheriffMore,thouhastdonemorewiththygoodwordsthanalltheycouldwiththeirweapons:givemethyhand,keepthypromisenowfortheking’spardon,or,bytheLord,I’llcalltheeaplainconey-catcher。
LINCOLN。
Farewell,ShrieveMore;andasweyieldbythee,Somakeourpeace;thenthoudealsthonestly。
CLOWN。
Aye,andsaveusfromthegallows,elseadevil’sdoublehonestly!
[Theyareledaway。]
LORDMAYOR。
MasterShrieveMore,youhavepreservedthecityFromamostdangerousfiercecommotion;
For,ifthislimbofriothereinSt。MartinsHadjoinedwithotherbranchesofthecityThatdidbegintokindle,twouldhavebredGreatrage;thatragemuchmurderwouldhavefed。
Notsteel,buteloquencehathwroughtthisgood:
Youhaveredeemedusfrommuchthreatenedblood。
MORE。
Mylordandbrethren,whatIherehavespoke,Mycountry’slove,andnextthecity’scare,Enjoinedmeto;whichsinceitthusprevails,Think,GodhathmadeweakMorehisinstrumentTothwartsedition’sviolentintent。
Ithinktwerebest,mylord,sometwohourshenceWemeetattheGuildhall,andtheredetermineThatthorougheverywardthewatchbecladInarmor,butespeciallyproudThatatthecitygatesselectedmen,Substantialcitizens,dowardtonight,Forfearoffurthermischief。
LORDMAYOR。
Itshallbeso:
ButyondmethinksmylordofShrewsbury。
[EnterShrewsbury。]
SHREWSBURY。
Mylord,hismajestysendslovingthanksToyou,yourbrethren,andhisfaithfulsubjects,Yourcarefulcitizens。——But,MasterMore,toyouArougher,yetaskind,asalutation:
Aknightscreationisthisknightlysteel。
Riseup,SirThomasMore。
MORE。
Ithankhishighnessforthushonoringme。
SHREWSBURY。
Thisisbutfirsttasteofhisprincelyfavor:
Forithathpleasedhishighmajesty(Notingyourwisdomanddeservingmerit)
Toputthisstaffofhonorinyourhand,ForhehathchoseyouofhisPrivyCouncil。
MORE。
Mylord,fortodenymysovereign’sbountyWeretodroppreciousstonesintotheheapsWhencetheyfirstcame;
Tourgemyimperfectionsinexcuse,Wereallasstaleascustom:no,mylord,Myserviceismykings;goodreasonwhy,——
Sincelifeordeathhangsonoursovereign’seye。
LORDMAYOR。
HismajestyhathhonoredmuchthecityInthishisprincelychoice。
MORE。
Mylordandbrethren,ThoughIdepartforcourtmyloveshallrestWithyou,asheretofore,afaithfulguest。
Inowmustsleepincourt,soundsleepsforbear;
Thechamberlaintostateispubliccare:
Yet,inthisrisingofmyprivateblood,Mystudiousthoughtsshalltendthecity’sgood。
[EnterCrofts。]
SHREWSBURY。
Hownow,Crofts!whatnews?
CROFTS。
Mylord,hishighnesssendsexpresscommandThatarecordbeenteredofthisriot,AndthatthechiefandcapitaloffendersBethereonstraightarraigned,forhimselfintendsTositinpersonontheresttomorrowAtWestminster。
SHREWSBURY。
LordMayor,youhearyourcharge。——
Come,goodSirThomasMore,tocourtlet’shie;
Youareth’appeaserofthismutiny。
MORE。
Mylord,farewell:newdaysbegetsnewtides;
Lifewhirlsboutfate,thentoagraveitslides。
[Exeuntseverally。]
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