Willyoucomewithmeintothechamberofmemoryandliftyoureyestothepaintedwindowswherethefiguresandscenesofchildhoodappear？Perhapsbylookingwithkindlyeyesatthosefromoutmypast，longwished-forvisionsofyourownyouthwillappeartohealthewoundsfromwhichyousuffer，andtoquietyourstormyandrestlessheart。
　　CONTENTS
　　INIGHT
　　IISOLITUDE
　　IIIFRIENDSHIP
　　IVFAME
　　VREMORSE
　　VITRAVEL
　　PAINTEDWINDOWS
　　I
　　NIGHT
　　YOUNGpeoplebelieveverylittlethattheyhearaboutthecompen-
　　sationsofgrowingold，andoflivingoveragaininmemorytheeventsofthepast。Yettherereallyarethesecom-
　　pensationsandpleasures，andalthoughtheyarenotsovividandbreathlessasthepleasuresofyouth，theyhavesome-
　　thingdelicateandfineaboutthemthatmustbeexperiencedtobeappreciated。
　　Fewofuswouldexchangeourmem-
　　oriesforthoseofothers。Theyhavebecomeapartofourpersonality，andwecouldnotpartwiththemwithoutlosingsomethingofourselves。Neitherwouldwepartwithourownparticularchildhood，which，howeverdifficultitmayhavebeenattimes，seemstoeachofusmoresignificantthanthechild-
　　hoodofanyoneelse。Icanrunoverinmymindcertainincidentsofmychildhoodasiftheywerechaptersinamuch-lovedbook，andwhenIamwake-
　　fulatnight，orboredbyalongjourney，orwaitingforsomeoneintherailway-
　　station，Itakethemoutandgooverthemagain。
　　Norismybookofmemorieswithoutitsillustrations。Icanseelittlevil-
　　lages，andagreatcity，andforestsandplantedfields，andfamiliarfaces；andallhavethisadvantage：theyarenotfixedandwithoutmotion，likethepic-
　　turesintheordinarybook。Peoplearewalkingupthestreetsofthevil-
　　lage，thetreesaretossing，thetallwheatandcorninthefieldssaluteme。
　　Icansmelltheodourofthegatheredhay，andthefacesinmydream-booksmileatme。
　　OfallofthesememoriesIlikebesttheoneinthepineforest。
　　Iwasatthatagewhenchildrenthinkoftheirparentsasbeingall-powerful。
　　Icouldhardlyhaveimaginedanycir-
　　cumstances，howeveradverse，thatmyfathercouldnothavemetwithhisstrengthandwisdomandskill。Allchil-
　　drenhavesuchaperiodofhero-wor-
　　ship，Isuppose，whentheirfatherstandsoutfromtherestoftheworldasthebestandmostpowerfulmanliving。So，feelingasIdid，IwasmadehappierthanIcansaywhenmyfatherdecided，becauseIwaslookingpaleandhadapoorappetite，totakemeoutofschoolforawhile，andcarrymewithhimonadrivingtrip。WelivedinMichigan，wheretherewere，inthedaysofwhichIamwriting，notmanyrail-
　　roads；andwhenmyfather，whowasattorneyforanumberofwholesalemer-
　　cantilefirmsinDetroit，usedtogoaboutthecountrycollectingmoneydue，adjustingclaims，andsoon，hehadnochoicebuttodrive。
　　Andoverwhatroads！Nowitwasastripofcorduroy，nowapieceofwell-
　　gradedelevationwithclaysubsoilandgravelsurface，nowaneglectedstretchfullofdangerousholes；andworstofall，runningthroughthegreatforests，longpiecesofroadfromwhichthestumpshadbeenonlypartlyextracted，andwherethesunlightbarelypene-
　　trated。Herethesoakedearthbecamelittlelessthanaquagmire。
　　Butfatherwastoowellusedtohardjourneystofearthem，andIfeltthat，ingoingwithhim，Iwassafefromallpossibleharm。Thejourneyhadalltheallurementofanadventure，forwewouldnotknowfromdaytodaywhereweshouldeatourmealsorsleepatnight。So，toprovideagainsttrouble，wecarriedfather’soldred-and-blue-
　　checkedarmyblankets，abagoffeedforSheridan，thehorse，plentyofbread，bacon，jam，coffeeandpreparedcream；
　　andwehungpailsofpurewaterandbuttermilkfromtherearofourbuggy。
　　Wehadbeenouttwoweekswithoutfailingoncetoeatatapropertableortosleepinacomfortablebed。Some-
　　timesweputupatthestark-lookingho-
　　telsthatloomed，rawanduninviting，inthelargertowns；sometimeswehadthepleasureofbeingwelcomedatalittleinn，wherethehostshowedusapersonalhospitality；butoftenerwewereforcedtomakeourselves"payingguests"atsomehouse。Wecarednoth-
　　ingwhetherwesleptinthespareroomsofafineframe"residence"orcreptintobedbeneaththeeavesoftheatticinalogcabin。Ihadbeguntofeelthatourjourneywouldbealmosttootameandcomfortable，whenonenightsome-
　　thingreallyhappened。
　　Fatherlosthisbearings。HewashopingtoreachthetownofGratiotbynightfall，andheattemptedtomakeashortcut。Todothisheturnedintoaroadthatwoundthroughamagnifi-
　　centforest，atfirstofoakandbutter-
　　nut，ironwoodandbeech，thenofdenselygrowingpines。Whenween-
　　teredthewooditwastwilight，butnosoonerwerewewellwithintheshadowofthesesombretreesthanwewereplungedindarkness，andwithinhalfanhourthisdarknessdeepened，sothatwecouldseenothing——noteventhehorse。
　　"Thesundoesn’tgetinheretheyearround，"saidfather，tryinghisbesttoguidethehorsethroughthemire。Sodeepwasthemudthatitseemedasifitliterallysuckedatthelegsofthehorseandthewheelsofthebuggy，andIbegantowonderifweshouldreallybeswallowed，andtofearthatwehadmetwithadifficultythatevenmyfathercouldnotovercome。I
　　canhardlymakeplainwhatatragicthoughtthatwas！Thehorsebegantogiveoutsighsandgroans，andintheintervalsofhisstrugglestogeton，I
　　couldfeelhimtrembling。Therewasanoteofanxietyinfather’svoiceashecalledout，withalltheauthorityandcheerhecouldcommand，topoorSheri-
　　dan。Thewindwasrising，andthelongsobsofthepinesmadecoldshiversrunupmyspine。Myteethchattered，partlyfromcold，butmorefromfright。
　　"Whatarewegoingtodo？"Iasked，myvoicequiveringwithtears。
　　"Well，wearen’tgoingtocry，what-
　　everelsewedo！"answeredfather，rathersharply。Hesnatchedthelightedlanternfromitsplaceonthedashboardandleapedoutintotheroad。
　　Icouldhearhimflounderingroundinthatterriblemireandsoothingthehorse。ThenextthingIrealisedwasthatthehorsewasunhitched，thatfa-
　　therhad——forthefirsttimeduringourjourney——laidthelashacrossSheri-
　　dan’sback，andthat，withaleapofin-
　　dignation，thehorsehadreachedthefirmgroundoftheroadside。Fathercalledouttohimtostandstill，andamomentlaterIfoundmyselfbeingswungfromthebuggyintofather’sarms。Hestaggeredalong，plungingandalmostfalling，andpresentlyI，too，stoodbeneaththegiantpines。
　　"Onejourneymore，"saidfather，"foroursupper，andthenwe’llbivouacrighthere。"
　　NowthatIwasawayfromthebuggythatwassofamiliartome，andthatseemedlikealittlemovablepieceofhome，Ifelt，asIhadnotfeltbefore，thevastnessofthesolitude。Abovemeintherisingwindtossedthetopsofthesingingtrees；aboutmestretchedthesoftblackness；andbeneaththedense，interlacedbranchesitwasalmostascalmandstillasinaroom。Icouldseethatthecloudswerebreakingandthestarsbeginningtocomeout，andthatcomfortedmealittle。
　　Fatherwaskeepingupastreamofcheerfultalk。
　　"Now，sir，"hewassayingtoSheri-
　　dan，"standstillwhileIgetthishar-
　　nessoffyou。I’lltieyouandblanketyou，andyoucanlieorstandasyouplease。Here’syournose-bag，withsomegoodsupperinit，andifyoudon’thavedrink，it’snotmyfault。Anyway，itisn’tsolongsinceyougotagoodnipatthecreek。"
　　Iwaswatchingbythefaintlightofthelantern，andnoticinghowunnat-
　　uralfatherandSheridanlooked。Theyseemedtobeblockedoutinarudekindofway，likesomewoodentoysIhadathome。
　　"Hereweare，"saidfather，"likeRobinsonCrusoes。ItwashardluckforRobinson，nothavinghislittlegirlalong。He’dhavehadhertopickupsticksandtwigstomakeafire，andthatwouldhavebeenagreathelptohim。"
　　Fatherbeganbreakingfallenbranchesoverhisknee，andIgropedroundandfilledmyarmsagainandagainwithlittlefagots。Soafterafewminuteswehadafinefirecracklinginaplacewhereitcouldnotcatchthebranchesofthetrees。Fatherhadscrapedtheneedlesofthepinesto-
　　getherinsuchawaythatabarerimofearthwasleftallaroundthefire，sothatitcouldnotspreadalongtheground；
　　andpresentlythecoffee-potwasoverthefireandbaconwassizzlinginthefrying-pan。Thegood，heartyodourscameouttominglewiththedeliciousscentofthepines，andI，settingoutourdishes，begantofeelahappinessdifferentfromanythingIhadeverknown。
　　Pioneersandwanderersandsoldiershavejoysoftheirown——joysofwhichIhadheardoftenenough，fortherehadbeenmorestoriestoldthanreadinourhouse。ButnowforthefirsttimeI
　　knewwhatmygrandmotherandmyuncleshadmeantwhentheytoldmeaboutthewaytheyhadcomeintothewilderness，andaboutthegreathappi-
　　nessandfreedomofthosefirstdays。I，too，feltthisfreedom，anditseemedtomeasifIneveragainwantedwallstocloseinonme。Allmyfearwasgone，andIfeltwildandglad。IcouldnotbelievethatIwasonlyalittlegirl。I
　　felttallereventhanmyfather。
　　Father’smoodwaslikemineinaway。Hehadmemoriestoaddtohisemotion，butthen，ontheotherhand，helackedthesenseofdiscoveryIhad，forhehadknownoftensuchfeelingsaswerecomingtomeforthefirsttime。
　　WhenhewasayoungmanhehadbeenacolporteurfortheAmericanBibleSo-
　　cietyamongtheLakeSuperiorIndians，andinthatwayhadearnedpartofthemoneyforhiscourseattheUniversityofMichigan；afterwardhehadgonewithothergold-seekerstoPike’sPeak，andhadcrossedtheplainswithoxen，inthecompanyofmanyotheradven-
　　turers；then，whenPresidentLincolncalledfortroops，hehadreturnedtoenlistwiththeMichiganmen，andhadservedmorethanthreeyearswithMc-
　　ClellanandGrant。
　　So，naturally，therewasnothinghedidnotknowaboutmakinghimselfcomfortableintheopen。Heknewallthesorrowandallthejoyofthehome-
　　lessman，andnow，ashecooked，hebe-
　　gantosingtheoldsongs——"MarchingThroughGeorgia，"and"BuryMeNotontheLonePrairie，"and"InthePrisonCellISit。"HehadbeeninaSouthernprisonaftertheBattleoftheWilderness，andsoheknewhowtosingthatsongwithparticularfeeling。
　　Ihadheardwarstoriesallmylife，thoughusuallyfathertoldsuchtalesinahalf-jokingway，asiftomakelightofeverythinghehadgonethrough。Butnow，asweatethereunderthetossingpines，andthewildchorusinthetree-
　　topsswelledlikearisingsea，thespiritoftheolddayscameoverhim。Hewasagood"stumpspeaker，"andheknewhowtomakeastorycometolife，andneverdidallhissimplenaturalgiftsshowthemselvesbetterthanonthisnight，whenhedweltonhisoldcam-
　　paigns。
　　ForthefirsttimeIwastolookintotheheartofakindlynaturedman，forcedbyterriblenecessitytogothroughthedreadexperienceofwar。
　　Igainedanideaoftheunspeakablehomesicknessofthemanwholeaveshisfamilytoanunimaginedfate，andsacrificesyearsintheserviceofhiscountry。Isawthatthemereforegoingofroofandbedisanindescribabledis-
　　tress；Ilearnedsomethingofwhatthepalpitantanxietybeforeabattlemustbe，andthequakingfearatthefirstrattleofbullets，andthehalf-madrushofdeterminationwithwhichmenforcevalourintotheirfalteringhearts；I
　　wasmadetoknowsomethingoftheblightofwar——thehorrorofthebattle-
　　field，thewasteofbounty，theruinofhomes。
　　Then，risingabovethis，camestoriesofdevotion，ofbrotherhood，ofserviceonthelong，desolatemarches，ofcour-
　　agetothedeathofthosewhofoughtforacause。Ibegantoseewhereinlaythehighestjoyofthesoldier，andofhowlittleaccountheheldhimself，iftheprincipleforwhichhefoughtcouldbepreserved。IheardforthefirsttimethewonderfulwordsofLin-
　　colnatGettysburg，andlearnedtore-
　　peatapartofthem。
　　Iwasonlyeight，itistrue，butemo-
　　tionhasnoage，andIunderstoodthenaswellasIevercould，whatheroismanddevotionandself-forgetfulnessmean。Iunderstood，too，themeaningofthewords"ourcountry，"andmyheartwarmedtoit，asintheoldertimestheheartsofboysandgirlswarmedtothenameoftheirking。ThenewknowledgewassobeautifulthatI
　　thoughtthen，andIthinknow，thatnothingcouldhaveservedassofitanaccompanimenttoitastheshoutingofthosepines。Theysanglikeheroes，andintheirswayinggavemefleetingglimpsesofthestars，unbelievablybrilliantintheduskypurplesky，andhalf-obscurednowandthenbydriftingclouds。
　　Byandbywelaydown，notfarapart，eachrolledinanarmyblanket，frayedwithservice。Ourfeetweretothefire——foritwassothatsoldierslay，myfa-
　　thersaid——andourheadsrestedonmoundsofpine-needles。
　　SometimesinthenightIfeltmyfa-
　　ther’shandrestinglightlyonmyshoul-
　　derstoseethatIwascovered，butinmydreamsheceasedtobemyfatherandbecamemycomrade，andIwasadrummerboy，——Ihadseentheplay，"TheDrummerBoyoftheRappahan-
　　nock，"——marchingforward，withsetteeth，inthefaceofbattle。
　　Whatevercouldredeemwarandmakeitgloriousseemedtofloodmysoul。Allthatwashighest，allthatwasnobleinthatdreadfulconflictcametomeinmysleep——tome，thechildwhohadbeenbornwhenmyfatherwasat"thefront。"Ihadastrangebaptismofthespirit。Idiscoveredsorrowandcourage，singingtreesandstars。Iwasneveragaintothinkthatthefiresideandfiresidethoughtsmadeupthewholeoflife。
　　MyfatherlieswithothersoldiersbythePacific；theforestsingsnomore；
　　theoldarmyblanketshavedisap-
　　peared；thememoriesoftheterriblewararefading，——happilyfading，——buttheyallliveagain，sometimes，inmymemory，andIamoncemoreachild，withthoughtsasproudandfierceandbeautifulasValkyries。
　　II
　　SOLITUDE
　　AMONGthepicturesthatIseewhenIlookbackintothepast，istheonewhereI，asullen，egotisticper-
　　sonnineyearsold，stoodquitealoneintheworld。Tohesure，therewerefa-
　　therandmotherinthehouse，andthereweretheotherchildren，andnotoneamongthemknewIwasalone。Theworldcertainlywouldnothavere-
　　gardedmeasfriendlessororphaned。
　　Therewasnothinginmymereappear-
　　ance，asIstartedawaytoschoolinmycleanginghams，withmywell-brushedhair，andembroideredschool-bag，toleadanyonetosupposethatIwasacastaway。YetIwas——Ihaddiscoveredthisfact，hiddenthoughitmightbefromothers。
　　Iwasnolongerloved。Fatherandmotherlovedtheotherchildren；butnotme。Imightcomehomeatnight，fairlyburstingwithimportantnewsaboutwhathadhappenedinclassoramongmyfriends，andtrytorelatemylittlehistories。Butdidmotherlisten？Notatall。ShewouldnodlikeamandarinwhileItalked，orgoonturningtheleavesofherbook，orwritingherletter。
　　WhatIsaidwasofnoimportancetoher。
　　Fatherwasevenlessinterested。Hefranklytoldmetokeepstill，andwentonwiththeaccountsinwhichhewassoabsurdlyinterested，orexamined"papers"——stupid-lookingthingsdoneonlegalcap，whichhebroughthomewithhimfromtheoffice。NoonekissedmewhenIstartedawayinthemorn-
　　ing；noonekissedmewhenIcamehomeatnight。Iwenttobedunkissed。I
　　feltmyselftobealonelyandmisunder-
　　stoodchild——perhapsevenanadoptedone。
　　Why，Iknewalittlegirlwho，whenshewentuptoherroomatnight，foundthebedclothesturnedback，andtheshadedrawn，andascreenplacedsoastokeepoffdrafts。Andhermotherbrushedherhairtwentyminutesbytheclockeachnight，tomakeitglossy；andthenshesatbyherbedandsangsoftlytillthegirlfellasleep。
　　Inotonlyhadtoopenmyownbed，butthebedsfortheotherchildren，andalthoughIsometimesfeltmymother’shandtuckinginthebedclothesroundme，sheneverstoopedandkissedmeonthebrowandsaid，"Blessyou，mychild。"Noone，inallmyexperience，hadsaid，"Blessyou，mychild。"WhenthegirlIhavespokenofcameintotheroom，hermotherreachedoutherarmsandsaid，beforeeverybody，"Herecomesmydearlittlegirl。"WhenI
　　cameintoaroom，Iwasusuallytoldtodosomethingforsomebody。Itwas"Pleaseseeifthefireneedsmorewood，"or"Letthecatin，please，"or"I’dlikeyoutoweedthepansybedbe-
　　foresupper-time。"
　　Inthesecircumstances，lifehardlyseemedworthliving。IdecidedthatI
　　hadmadeamistakeinchoosingmyfamily。Itdidnotappreciateme，anditfailedtomakemyyounglifeglad。
　　Iknewmyyounglifeoughttobeglad。
　　Anditwasnot。Itwasdrab，asdrabasToot’soldrain-coat。
　　Tootwas"ourcolouredboy。"Thatisthewaywedescribedhim。Fatherhadbroughthimhomefromthewar，andhadsenthimtoschool，andthenapprenticedhimtoamiller。Tootdid"chores"forhisboardandclothes，butwassoontobehisownman，andtobepaidmoneybythemiller，andtomarryTululaDarthulaJones，anicecolouredgirlwholivedwiththeCut-
　　lers。
　　ThetimehadbeenwhenToothadbeenmyself-appointedslave。Almostmyfirstrecollectionswereofhiscarry-
　　ingmeouttoseethetrainpass，andsaying，"Toot，toot！"inimitationofthelocomotive；so，althoughhehadratherasplendidname，Icalledhim"Toot，"andthewholetownfollowedmyexample。Yes，thetimehadbeenwhenTootsawmesafetoschool，andslippedlittleredapplesintomypocket，andtookmeoutwhilehemilkedthecow，andtoldmestoriesandsangmeplantationsongs。Now，whenhepassed，heonlynodded。WhenIspoketohimabouthisnotgivingmeanymoreap-
　　ples，hesaid：
　　"Ahreckonthey’reyourpa’sap-
　　ples，missy。Why，fo’goodness’sake，don’yo’he’pyo’se’f？"
　　ButIdidnotwanttohelpmyself。
　　Iwantedtobehelped——notbecauseI
　　waslazy，butbecauseIwantedtobeadored。Iwasreallyasortoffairyprincess，——misplaced，ofcourse，inastupidrepublic，——andIwantedlifecon-
　　ductedonafairy-princessbasis。ItwasagameIwishedtoplay，butitwasoneIcouldnotplayalone，andnotasoulcouldIfindwhoseemedinclinedtoplayitwithme。
　　Well，thingswentfrombadtoworse。
　　Idecidedthatifmothernolongerlovedme，Iwouldnolongertellherthings。
　　SoIdidnot。Igotahundredinspell-
　　ingfortwelvedaysrunning，anddidnottellher！IbrokeEdnaGrantham’smother’swater-pitcher，andkeptthefactasecret。Thesecretwas，indeed，assharp-edgedasthepiecesofthebrokenpitcherhadbeen；Icriedunderthebedclothes，thinkinghowsorryMrs。
　　Granthamhadbeen，andthatmotherreallyoughttoknow。Onlywhatwastheuse？Inolongerlookedtohertohelpmeoutofmytroubles。
　　Ihadnoneednowtohavefatherandmothertellmetohurryupandfinishmychatter，forIkeptallthathap-
　　penedtomyself。Ihadanew"intimatefriend，"anddidnotsomuchasmen-
　　tionher。Iwroteapoemandshowedittomyteacher，butnottomyunin-
　　terestedparents。AndwhenIclimbedthestairsatnighttomyroom，Iswelledwithlonelinessandanguishandresent-
　　ment，andthehottearscametomyeyesasIheardfatherandmotherlaughingandtalkingtogetherandpayingnoat-
　　tentiontomymisery。IcouldhearToot，whousedtobemakingallsortsoflittlepresentsforme，whistlingashebroughtinthewoodandwater，andthen"cleanedup"togotoseehisTulula，withneverathoughtofme。
　　AndIsaidtomyselfthatthebestthingIcoulddowastogrowupandgetawayfromaplacewhereIwasnolongerwanted。
　　Noonenoticedmysufferingsfurtherthansometimestosayimpatiently，"Whatmakesyouactsostrange，child？"Andtothat，ofcourse，Ian-
　　swerednothing，forwhatIhadtosaywouldnot，Ifelt，beunderstood。
　　OnemorninginJuneIlefthomewithmyresentmentburningfiercelywithinme。Ihadnotcaredforthethingswehadforbreakfast，forIwashalf-illwithfrettingandwiththeclosenessoftheday，butmylackofappetitehadbeenpassedbywiththeremarkthatanyonewaslikelynottohaveanap-
　　petiteonsuchacloseday。ButIwassolanguid，andsoaversetotakinguptheusualroundofthings，thatIbeggedmothertoletmestayathome。Sheshookherheaddecidedly。
　　"You’vebeenoutofschooltoomanydaysalreadythisterm，"shesaid。
　　"Runalongnow，oryou’llhelate！"
　　"Please——"Ibegan，formyheadreallywaswhirling，although，quiteasmuch，perhaps，frommyperversityasfromanyothercause。Motherturnedonmeoneofher"lastword"glances。
　　"Gotoschoolwithoutanotherword，"
　　shesaid，quietly。
　　Iknewthatquiettone，andIwent。
　　AndnowIwassurethatallwasoverbetweenmyparentsandmyself。Ibe-
　　gantowonderifIneedreallywaittillIwasgrownupbeforeleavinghome。
　　SomiserablyabsorbedwasIinthink-
　　ingofthis，andinpityingmyselfwithaconsumingpity，thateverythingatschoolseemedtopassliketheshadowofadream。IblunderedinwhateverItriedtodo，wassharplyscoldedfornothearingtheteacheruntilshehadspokenmynamethreetimes，andwasholdingontomyselfdesperatelyinmyefforttokeepbackafloodoftears，whenIbecameawarethatsomethingwashappening。
　　Theresuddenlywasaperfectsilenceintheroom——thesortofsilencethatmakestheheartbeattoofast。Themistswimmingbeforemedidnot，Iper-
　　ceived，comefrommyowneyes，butfromthechangingcolouroftheair，theusualtransparencyofwhichwasbeingtingedwithyellow。Thesultrinessofthedaywasdeepening，andseemedtocarryathreatwithit。
　　"Somethingisgoingtohappen，"
　　thoughtI，andoverthewholeroomspreadthesameconviction。Electriccurrentsseemedtosnapfromonecon-
　　sciousnesstoanother。Wedroppedourbooks，andturnedoureyestowardthewesternwindows，tolookuponachangedworld。Itwasasifwepeeredthroughyellowglass。Intheskysoft-
　　looking，tawnycloudscametumblingalonglikeplayfulcats——ortigers。A
　　momentlaterwesawthattheywerenotplayful，butangry；theystretchedoutclaws，andsnarledastheydidso。
　　Oneclawreachedthetallchimneysoftheschoolhouse，anothertappedatthecupola，onewasthrustthroughthewallnearwhereIsat。
　　Thenitgrewblack，andtherewasabellowingallaboutus，sothatthecom-
　　mandsoftheteacherandthescreamsofthechildrenbarelycouldbeheard。
　　Iknewlittleornothing。Myshoulderwasstinging，somethinghadhitmeonthesideofthehead，myeyeswerefullofdustandmortar，andmyfeetwerecarryingmewiththeothersalongthecorridor，downthetwoflightsofwidestairs。Idonotthinkwepushedeachotherorwerereckless。Myrecollec-
　　tionisonlyofmanyshadowyfiguresflyingonwithsurefeetoutofthebuild-
　　ingthatseemedtobefallinginuponus。
　　Presentlywewereoutontheland-
　　ingbeforethedoor，withonemoreflightofstepsbeforeus，thatreachedtothestreet。Somethingsostrongthatitmightnotbedeniedgatheredmeupininvisiblearms，whirledmeroundonceortwiceanddroppedme，notun-
　　gently，inthemiddleoftheroad。Andthen，asIstruggledtomykneesand，wipingthedustfrommyeyes，lookedup，Isawdozensofothersbeingliftedinthesameway，andblownoffintotheyardorthestreet。Thelargeronesweretryingtoholdontothesmaller，andtheteacherswereendeavouringtokeepthechildrenfromgoingoutofthebuilding，buttheireffortswereofnoavail。Thechildrencameon，andwereblownaboutlikeleaves。
　　ThenIsawwhatlookedlikeahighyellowwalladvancinguponme——aroar-
　　ingandfearsomemassofdrivendust，sticks，debris。Itcameovermethatmyownhomemightbethere，instripsandfragments，tobeatmedownandkillme；andwiththethoughtcameaswiftlittlevisionoutofmygeographyoftheArabsinasand-stormonthedesert。I
　　gatheredupmyflutteringdressskirt，heldittightaboutmyhead，andlayflatupontheground。
　　Itseemedasifalongtimepassed，atimeinwhichIknewverylittleex-
　　ceptthatIwasfightingformybreathasIneverhadfoughtforanything。
　　Thereweremorehurtsandbruisesnow，buttheydidnotmatter。Justtodrawmyownbreathinmyownwayseemedtobetheonlythingintheworldthatwasofanyaccount。Andthentherewasashaftofflame，anear-
　　splittingroar，andtherainwasuponusinsheets，instreams，invisibleriv-
　　ers。
　　Iimaginedthatitwouldlastalongtime，andwonderedinadazehowI
　　couldgethomeinarainlikethat——
　　forIshouldhavetofaceit。Icouldseethatinafewsecondstheguttershadbeguntorace，theroadwhereI
　　laywasastream，andthen——thentherainceased。Neverwasanythingsoastonishing。Theskycameoutblue，tatteredragsofcloudracedacrossit，andIhadtimetoconcludethat，whip-
　　pedandalmostbreathlessthoughI
　　was，Iwasstillalive。
　　AndthenIsawacurioussight。Downthestreetineverydirectioncamerush-
　　inghatlessmenandwomen。Hereandthereawild-eyedhorsewasbeinglashedalong。Allthetownwascoming。
　　Theywereintheirworkclothes，intheirslippers，intheirwrappers——theywereinanythingandeverything。Someofthemsobbedastheyran，somecalledaloudnamesthatIknew。Theywerefathersandmotherslookingfortheirchildren。
　　Andwhowasthat——thatwomanwithawhiteface，withhairfallingabouthershoulders，whereithadfallenassheran——thatwomanwhosebreathcamebetweenherteethstrangelyandwhocalledmynameoverandover，bleat-
　　ingly，asamothersheepcallsitslamb？
　　AtfirstIdidnotrecogniseher，andthen，atlast，Iknew。Andthatcreaturewiththerollingeyesandthecuriousash-colouredfacewho，mumblingsome-
　　thingoverandoverinhisthroat，cameforme，andsnatchedmeupandwipedmyfacefreeofmud，andfeltofmehereandtherewithtremblinghands——
　　whowashe？
　　Andbreakingoutofthecrowdofmenwhohadcomerunningfromthestreetofstoresandoffices，wasan-
　　otherstrangebeing，withasortofbat-
　　tlelightinhiseyes，who，seeingme，gatheredmetohimandboremeawaytowardhome。Lookingback，IcouldseethewomanIknewfollowing，lean-
　　ingonthearmoftheboywiththeroll-
　　ingeyes，whoseeyeshadceasedtoroll，andwhowasquiterecognisablenowasToot。
　　Ahappinessthatwasalmostaster-
　　ribleassorrowwelledupinmyheart。
　　Ididnotweep，orlaugh，ortalk。AllIhadexperiencedhadcarriedmebe-
　　yondmereexcitementintoexultation。
　　Iexultedinlife，inlove。Myconceitandsulkinessdiedinthatstorm，asdidmanyanotherthing。Iwasalive。I
　　wasloved。Isaiditoverandovertomyselfsilently，in"myheart’sdeepcore，"whilemotherwashedmewithtremblinghandsinmyowndearroom，boundupmyhurts，braidedmyhair，andputme，inafreshnight-dress，intomybed。Idonotrecallthatwetalkedtoeachother，butineverycaressofherhandsassheworkedIfelttheun-
　　spokenassurancesofalovesuchasI
　　hadnotdreamedof。
　　Fatherhadgonerunningbacktotheschooltoseeifhecouldbeofanyas-
　　sistancetohisneighbours，andhadtakenTootwithhim，buttheywerebackpresentlytosaythatbeyondafewsharpinjuriesandbrokenbones，noharmhadbeendonetothechildren。Itwasconsideredmiraculousthatnoonehadbeenkilledorseriouslyinjured，andInoticedthatfather’svoicetrem-
　　bledashetoldofit，andthatmothercouldnotanswer，andthatTootsobbedlikeabigsillyboy。
　　Thenaswetalkedtogether，behold，asecondstormwasuponus——asharpblackblastofwindandrain，notter-
　　rifying，liketheother，butwithan"I’ve-come-to-spend-the-day"sortofaspect。
　　Butnooneseemedtomindverymuch。Iwascarrieddowntothesit-
　　ting-room。Tootbusiedhimselfcom-
　　ingandgoingonthiserrandandonthat，fasteningthedoors，closingthewindows，runningouttoseetotheani-
　　mals，andcomingbackagain。Fatherandmothersetthetable。Theykeptclosetogether；andnowandthentheylookedoveratme，withoutsayingany-
　　thing，butwithshiningeyes。
　　Thestormdieddowntoaquietrain。
　　Fromtheroofoftheporchthedropsfellinsilverstrings，likebeads。Thenthesuncameoutandturnedthemintoshiningcrystal。Thebirdsbegantosingagain，andwhenwethrewopenthewindowsdeliciousodoursoffreshearthandfloweringshrubgreetedus。Motherbegantosingassheworked。AndI
　　sanksoftlytosleep，thrilledwiththemarvelsoftheworld——notofthetem-
　　pest，butofthepeace。
　　Thesweetfamiliarityofthefacesandthewallsandthefurnitureandthegardenwaslikeablessing。TherewasnotachairtherethatIwouldhaveex-
　　changedforanyotherchair——notatreethatIwouldhavepartedwith——notacustomofthatsimple，busyplacethatIwouldhavechanged。Iknewnowallmystupidity——andmygoodfortune。
　　III
　　FRIENDSHIP
　　WHENIlookbackuponthevillagewhereIlivedasachild，Ican-
　　notrememberthattherewereanydivi-
　　sionsinoursociety。ThisgroupwenttotheCongregationalchurch，andthattothePresbyterian，buteachfamilyfeltitselftobeasgoodasanyother，andevenif，ordinarily，someofthemwithdrewthemselvesinmildexclusive-
　　ness，onalloccasionsofpubliccelebra-
　　tion，orwhenintrouble，westoodto-
　　getherinthepleasantestandmostun-
　　affecteddemocracy。
　　Therewereonlythe"BadMadi-
　　gans"outsidethepale。
　　ThefactsabouttheBadMadiganswere，nodoubt，seriousenough，butthefictionwasevenmoreappalling。Astofacts，thefatherdrank，themotherfol-
　　lowedsuit，theappearanceofthehouse——aramshackleoldplacebeyondthefair-grounds——wasascandal；thechil-
　　drencouldnotbegottogotoschoolforanylengthoftime，and，whentheywerethere，eachclassinwhichtheywereputfeltitselftobeindisgrace，andthedislikefocuseduponthein-
　　truders，sentthem，sullenandhateful，backtotheirlair。And，indeed，theMadiganhouseseemedlittlemorethanalair。Ithadbeenratherafinehouseonce，andhadbeenbuiltfortheoc-
　　cupancyofthemanwhoownedthefair-
　　grounds；buthechoosingfinallytoliveinthevillage，hadpermittedthehousetofallintodecay，untilonlyafamilywithnosenseoforderorself-respectwouldthinkofoccupyingit。
　　Whenthereoccurredoneoftherareburglariesinthevillage，whenanythingwasmissingfromaclothes-line，oracalforpigdisappeared，itwasgen-
　　erallylaidtotheMadigans。Unac-
　　counted-forfiresweresupposedtobetheirdoing；theywereaccordedrespon-
　　sibilityforviciouspracticaljokes；anditwasgenerallyfeltthatbeforewewerethroughwiththemtheywouldcommitsomeblood-curdlingcrime。
　　When，assometimeshappened，IhadmetoneoftheBadMadigansontheroad，ordownonthevillagestreet，myhearthadbeatenasifIwasfacetofacewithacompanyofbanditti；butIcannotsaythatthisexcitementwascausedbyaversionalone。Thetruthwas，theBadMadigansfascinatedme。
　　Theystoodoutfromalltheothers，proudlyanddisdainfullylikeRobinHoodandhisband，andIcouldnotgetovertheideathattheysaid："Fetchmeyonderbow！"toeachother；or，"Goslaughtermeaten-tinedbuck！"I
　　feltthattheywerefortunateinnotbe-
　　inghelddowntohoursliketherestofus。Outofbedatsix-thirty，attablebyseven，tidyingbedroomatseven-
　　thirty，dustingsitting-roomateight，onwaytoschoolateight-thirty，wasnotfor"thelikesofthem！"Onlywe，slavesofrespectabilityandofaninor-
　　dinateappetitefororder，sufferedsuchmonotonyanddrabnesstorule。IknewtheMadiganboyscouldgofishingwhenevertheypleased，thattheMadi-
　　gangirlspickedtheblackberriesbeforeanyoneelsecouldgetouttothem，thateverymemberofthefamilycouldpackupandgopicnickingfordaysatatime，andthatanystrayhorsewaslikelytoberiddenbareback，withinaninchofitslife，bytheyoungermem-
　　bersofthefamily。
　　Onlyoncehowever，didIhaveachancetomeetoneofthesemodernVisigothsfacetoface，andthefeelingsarousedbythatincidentremainedthedarlingsecretofmyyouth。Idaredtellnoone，andIlonged，yetfeared，tohavetheexperiencerepeated。Butitneverwas！Ithappenedinthisway：
　　OnacertainSundayafternooninMay，myfatherandmotherandIwenttoEmmons’Woods。ToreachEm-
　　mons’Woods，youwentoutthebackdoor，pastthepumpandthecurrantbushes，thendownthepathtothechicken-houses，andsoon，bywayofthewoodpile，tothesouthgate。Afterthat，youwentwesttowardtheclovermeadows，pastthehousewheretheCrazyLadylived——here，ifyouwerealone，youran——andthen，reachingthevergeofthewoods，youtookyourchoiceofclimbingaseven-railfenceorofwalkingaquarterofamiletillyoucametothebars。ThelatterwasmuchbetterforthelaceonaSundaypetti-
　　coat。
　　OnceinEmmons’Woods，therewasenchantment。Aneaglemightcome——
　　orablueheron。TherehadbeenbearsinEmmons’Woods——bearswithroll-
　　ingeyesandredmouthsfromwhichtheirtongueslolled。Therewasoneplaceforpinkytrillium，andanotherforgentians；onefortawnyadders’
　　tongues，andanotherforyellowDutch-
　　man’sbreeches。Inthesap-startingseason，themaplesdrippedtheirlus-
　　cioussapintolittlewoodencups；later，partridgesnestedinthesun-burnedgrass。Therewasnolakeorriver，buttherewasapond，swarmingwithavivaciouspopulation，andonthehard-
　　bakedclayofthepondbeachthegreenbeetlesairedtheirsplendidchangeablesilksandsandpipershoppedridicu-
　　lously。
　　Itwas，curiouslyenough，easiertorunthantowalkinEmmons’Woods，andevenmorenaturaltodancethantorun。Onebecameacquaintedwithsquirrels，establishedintimacieswithchipmunks，andwasonsomesortofcivilrelationwithblackbirds。And，oh，thetossinggreenoftheyoungwil-
　　lows，wherethelilacdistancemeltedintothepaleblueofthesky！And，oh，thebuddingofthemaplesandthefring-
　　ingoftheoaks；and，oh，theblossom-
　　ingofthetuliptreesandthegarner-
　　ingofthechestnuts！Andthen，thewrigglingthingsinthegrass；thepro-
　　cessionofants；thecoquetriesoftherobins；andtheBeyond，deepening，deepeningintotheforestwhereitwassafeonlyforthewoodsmentogo。
　　OnthisparticularSundayoneofuswasrequestednottosquealandrunabout，andtorememberthatweworeourbestshoesandneednotmessthemunnecessarily。Itwashardtobere-
　　mindedjustwhenthedancewasgettingintomyfeet，butItriedtohaveSun-
　　daymanners，andwentalonginthestillwoods，wonderingwhythepurplecol-
　　oursdisappearedaswecameonandwhathadbeendistancebecamenear-
　　ness。Therewasabeautiful，achingvaguenessovereverything，anditwasnotstrangethatfather，whohadstretchedhimselfonthemoss，andmother，whowasreadingGodey’sLa-
　　dies’Book，shouldpresentlybothofthembenodding。So，thatbeingawell-
　　establishedfact——Iestablisheditbyhangingoverthemandstaringattheireyelids——itseemedagoodtimeformetoletthedanceoutofmytoes。Stillcarefulofmyfreshlinenfrock，andrememberingaboutthebestshoes，I
　　wenton，demurely，downthegreenal-
　　leysofthewood。NowIsteppedonpatchesofsunshine，nowinpoolsofshadow。IthoughtofhownaughtyI
　　wastorunawaylikethis，andofwhatamistakepeoplemadewhosaidIwasagood，quiet，child。IknewthatI
　　lookedsadandprim，butIreallyhatedmysadnessandprimnessandgood-
　　ness，andlongedtoletoutallthein-
　　teresting，wild，naughtythoughtstherewereinme。IwantedtoactasifIwerebewitched，andtotearupvinesandwindthemaboutme，toshriektotheechoes，andtoscoldbackatthesquir-
　　rels。Iwantedtotakeoffmyclothesandrushintothepond，andswimlikeafish，orwrigglelikeapollywog。I
　　wantedtoclimbtreesanddropfromthem；and，mostofall——oh，withwhatlonging——didIwishtoliftmyselfabovetheearthandflyintotheblandblueair！
　　Icametoahollowwheretherewasawonderfulgreennessovereverything，andIsaidtomyselfthatIwouldbebewitchedatlast。Iwoulddanceandwhirlandcalltill，perhaps，somekindofacreatureaswildandwickedandwonderfulasI，wouldcomeoutofthewoodsandjoinme。SoIforgotaboutthefreshlinenfrock，andwreathedmy-
　　selfwithwildgrape-vine；Icarednoth-
　　ingformyfreshbraidsandwoundtrilliuminmyhair；andIceasedtore-
　　membermynewshoes，andwhirledaroundandaroundintheleafymould，singingandshouting。
　　Igrewmadderandmadder。Iseemednottobemyselfatall，butsomesortofawoodcreature；andjustwhenthetreeswerelookinglargerthanevertheydidbefore，andtheskyhigherup，agirlcamerunningdownfromasortofembankmentwhereatornadohadmadeapathforitselfandhadhurledsomegreatchestnutsandoaksinatumbledmass。Thegirlcameleapingdownthesteepsidesofthisplace，herarmsout-
　　spread，herfeetbare，herdressnomorethanaragthecolourofthetree-trunks。
　　Shehadonatorngreenjacket，whichmadeherseemmorethaneverlikesomeonewhohadjuststeppedoutofahollowtree，and，tomyunspeakablehappiness，shejoinedmeinmydance。
　　Ishallneverforgethowbeautifulshewas，withherwildtangleofdarkhair，andherdeepblueeyesandripelips。
　　Hercheekswereflamingred，andherlimbsstrongandbrown。Shedidnotmerelyshoutandsing；shewhistled，andmadecallslikethebirds，andcawedlikeacrow，andchitteredlikeasquir-
　　rel，andaroundandaroundthetwoofusdanced，crazyasdervisheswiththebeautyofthespringandthejoyofbe-
　　ingfree。
　　Byandbyweweresotiredwehadtostop，andthenwesatdownpantingandlookedateachother。Atthatwelaughed，longandfoolishly，but，afteratime，itoccurredtousthatwehadmanyquestionstoask。
　　"Howdidyougethere？"Iaskedthegirl。
　　"Iwaswalkingmylone，"shesaid，speakingherwordsasiftherewasarichthickqualitytothem，"andI
　　heardyouscreeling。"
　　"Won’tyougetlost，alonelikethat？"
　　"Ican’tgetlost，"shesighed。"I’dliketo，butIcan’t。"
　　"Wheredoyoulive？"
　　"Beyantthefair-grounds。"
　　"You’renot——notNorahMadigan？"
　　Sheleanedbackandclaspedherhandsbehindherhead。Thenshesmiledatmeteasingly。
　　"Iamthat，"shesaid，showingherperfectteeth。
　　Icaughtmybreathwithasharpgasp。OughtItoturnbacktomypar-
　　ents？HadIbeensonaughtythatI
　　hadcalledthenaughtiestgirlinthewholecountyouttome？
　　ButIcouldnotbringmyselftoleaveher。Shewasleaningforwardandlookingatmenowwithmockingeyes。
　　"Areyouafraid？"shedemanded。
　　"Afraidofwhat？"Iasked，knowingquitewellwhatshemeant。
　　"Ofme？"sheretorted。
　　Atthatsecondanagreeabletruthovertookme。Ileanedforward，too，andputmyhandonhers。
　　"Why，Ilikeyou！"Icried。Shebe-
　　ganlaughingagain，butthistimetherewasnomockeryinit。Sheranherfin-
　　gersovertheembroideryonmylinenfrock，sheexaminedthelaceonmypet-
　　ticoat，lookedatthebowsonmyshoes，andplayeddelicatelywiththelocketdanglingfromtheslenderchainaroundmyneck。
　　"Doyouknow——othergirls？"sheal-
　　mostwhispered。
　　Inodded。"Lotsandlotsof’em，"
　　Isaid。"Don’tyou？"
　　Sheshookherheadinwistfuldenial。
　　"UsMadigans，"shesaid，"keepstoourselves。"ShesaiditsohaughtilythatforamomentIwasalmostper-
　　suadedintothinkingthattheylivedtheirsolitarylivesfromchoice。But，glancingupather，Isawablushthatcoveredherface，andthereweretearsinhereyes。
　　"Well，anyway，"saidIquickly，"weknoweachother。"
　　"Yes，"shecried，"wedothat！"
　　Shegotup，then，andrantoagreattreefromwhichastoutgrape-vinewasswinging，andpullingatitwithherstrongarms，shesoonhaditmadeintoapracticalswing。
　　"Come！"shecalled——"come，let’sswingtogether！"
　　Shehelpedmetobalancemyselfontherope-likevine，and，placingherfeetoutsideofmine，showedmehowto"workup"tillweweresweepingwithafinemomentumthroughtheair。Weshriekedwithexcitement，andurgedeachotherontomoreandmorefranticexertions。Wewereliketwobirds，buttobirdsflyingisnonovelty。Withusitwas，whichmadeushappierthanbirds。ButI，formypart，wasnomoredelightedwithmyswiftflightsthroughtheairthanIwaswiththeshiningeyesandflashingteethofthegirloppositeme。Ilikedherstrength，andthewayinwhichherbodybentandswayed。
　　Oncemore，sheseemedlikeawood-
　　child——awild，mad，gaycreaturefromthetree。IfeltasifIhaddrawnaplay-
　　matefromelf-land，andIlikedherathousandtimesbetterthanthoseproperlittlegirlswhocametoseemeofaSaturdayafternoon。
　　Well，therewewere，rockingandscreaming，andtellingeachotherthatwewerehawks，andthatwewerefly-
　　inghighovertheworld，whentheanx-
　　iousandausterevoiceofmymotherbrokeuponourears。Wetriedtostop，butthatwasnotsuchaneasymattertodo，andaswetwistedandwrithed，tobringourgrape-vineswingtoastandstill，therewasaslowrendingandbreakingwhichstruckterrortooursouls。
　　"Jump！"commandedNorah——
　　"jump！thevine’sbreaking！"Weleapedatthesamemoment，shesafely。
　　Myfootcaughtinastouttendril，andIfellheadlong，scrapingmyforeheadonthegroundandtearingatriangularrentinthepretty，newfrock。Mothercamerunningforward，andtheexpres-
　　siononherfacewasfarfrombeingtheoneIlikedtosee。
　　"Whathaveyoubeendoing？"shedemanded。"Ithoughtyouwereget-
　　tingoldenoughandsensibleenoughtotakecareofyourself！"
　　Imusthavebeenadepressingsight，viewedwiththeeyesofacarefulmother。Bloodandmouldmingledonmyface，mydressneededalaundressasbadlyasadresscould，andmyshoeswerescratchedandmuddy。
　　"Andwhoisthisgirl？"askedmother。IhadbecomeconsciousthatNorahwasatmyfeet，wipingoffmyshoeswithherqueerlittlebrownfrock。
　　"It’sanewfriendofmine，"gaspedI，beginningtoseethatImustloseher，andhopingthelumpinmythroatwouldn’tgetanybiggerthanitwas。
　　"Whatishername？"askedmother。
　　Ihadnotimetoanswer。Thegirldidthat。
　　"I’mNorahMadigan，"shesaid。
　　Hertonewasrespectful，and，maybe，sad。Atanyrate，ithadacurioussound。
　　"NorahMad-i-gan？"askedmotherdoubtfully，stringingouttheword。
　　"Yessum，"saidalowvoice。"Good-
　　bye，mum。"
　　"Oh，Norah！"criedI，astrangepainstabbingmyheart。"Cometoseeme——"
　　Butmymother’svoicebrokein，firmandkind。