首页 >出版文学> Some Short Stories>第1章
  Contents:
  BrooksmithTheRealThingTheStoryofItFlickerbridgeMrs。MedwinBROOKSMITH
  Wearescatterednow,thefriendsofthelateMr。OliverOfford;
  butwheneverwechancetomeetIthinkweareconsciousofacertainesotericrespectforeachother。"Yes,youtoohavebeeninArcadia,"weseemnottoogrumpilytoallow。WhenIpassthehouseinMansfieldStreetIrememberthatArcadiawasthere。I
  don’tknowwhohasitnow,anddon’twanttoknow;it’senoughtobesosurethatifIshouldringthebelltherewouldbenosuchluckformeasthatBrooksmithshouldopenthedoor。Mr。Offord,themostagreeable,themostattachingofbachelors,wasaretireddiplomatist,livingonhispensionandonsomethingofhisownoverandabove;agooddealconfined,byhisinfirmities,tohisfiresideanddelightedtobefoundthereanyafternoonintheyear,fromfiveo’clockon,bysuchvisitorsasBrooksmithallowedtocomeup。Brooksmithwashisbutlerandhismostintimatefriend,towhomweallstood,orIshouldsaysat,inthesamerelationinwhichthesubjectofthesovereignfindshimselftotheprimeminister。Byhavingbeenforyears,inforeignlands,themostdelightfulEnglishmananyonehadeverknown,Mr。Offordhadinmyopinionrenderedsignalservicetohiscountry。ButIsupposehehadbeentoomuchliked——likedevenbythosewhodidn’tlikeIT——sothataspeopleofthatsortnevergettitlesordotationsforthehorridthingsthey’veNOTdone,hisprincipalrewardwassimplythatwewenttoseehim。
  Ohwewentperpetually,anditwasnotourfaultifhewasnotoverwhelmedwiththisparticularhonour。Anyvisitorwhocameoncecameagain;tocomemerelyoncewasaslightnobody,I’msure,hadeverputuponhim。Hiscirclethereforewasessentiallycomposedofhabitues,whowerehabituesforeachotheraswellasforhim,asthoseofahappysalonshouldbe。Iremembervividlyeveryelementoftheplace,downtotheintenselyLondonishlookofthegreyoppositehouses,inthegapofthewhitecurtainsofthehighwindows,andtheexactspotwhere,onaparticularafternoon,Iputdownmytea-cupforBrooksmith,lingeringaninstant,togatheritupasifhewerepluckingaflower。Mr。Offord’sdrawing-roomwasindeedBrooksmith’sgarden,hisprunedandtendedhumanparterre,andifweallflourishedthereandgrewwellinourplacesitwaslargelyowingtohissupervision。
  Manypersonshaveheardmuch,thoughmosthavedoubtlessseenlittle,ofthefamousinstitutionofthesalon,andmanyareborntothedepressionofknowingthatthisfinestflowerofsocialliferefusestobloomwheretheEnglishtongueisspoken。Theexplanationisusuallythatourwomenhavenottheskilltocultivateit——thearttodirectthroughasmilingland,betweensuggestiveshores,asinuousstreamoftalk。Myaffectionate,mypiousmemoryofMr。Offordcontradictsthisinductiononly,Ifear,moreinsidiouslytoconfirmit。Thesallowandslightlysmokeddrawing-roominwhichhespentsolargeaportionofthelastyearsofhislifecertainlydeservedthedistinguishedname;butontheotherhanditcouldn’tbesaidatalltooweitsstamptoanyinterventionthrowingintoreliefthefactthattherewasnoMrs。
  Offord。Thedearmanhadindeed,atthemost,beencapableofoneofthosesacrificestowhichwomenaredeemedpeculiarlyapt:hehadrecognised——undertheinfluence,insomedegree,itistrue,ofphysicalinfirmity——thatifyouwishpeopletofindyouathomeyoumustmanagenottobeout。Hehadinshortacceptedthetruthwhichmanydabblersinthesocialartareslowtolearn,thatyoumustreally,astheysay,takealine,andthattheonlywayasyetdiscoveredofbeingathomeistostayathome。Finallyhisownfiresidehadbecomeasummaryofhishabits。Whyshouldheeverhaveleftit?——sincethiswouldhavebeenleavingwhatwasnotoriouslypleasantestinLondon,thecompactcharmedcluster(thinningawayindeedintocasualcouples)roundthefineoldlast-
  centurychimney-piecewhich,withtheexceptionoftheremarkablecollectionofminiatures,wasthebestthingtheplacecontained。
  Mr。Offordwasn’trich;hehadnothingbuthispensionandtheuseforlifeofthesomewhatsuperannuatedhouse。
  WhenI’mremindedbysomeopposeddiscomfortofthepresenthourhowperfectlywewereallhandledthere,Iaskmyselfoncemorewhathadbeenthesecretofsuchperfection。Onehadtakenitforgrantedatthetime,foranythingthatissupremelygoodproducesmoreacceptancethansurprise。Ifeltwewereallhappy,butI
  didn’tconsiderhowourhappinesswasmanaged。Andyettherewerequestionstobeasked,questionsthatstrikemeassingularlyobviousnowthatthere’snobodytoanswerthem。Mr。Offordhadsolvedtheinsoluble;hehad,withoutfemininehelp——saveinthesensethatladiesweredyingtocometohimandthathesavedthelivesofseveral——establishedasalon;butImighthaveguessedthattherewasamethodinhismadness,alawinhissuccess。Hehadn’thititoffbyamerefluke。Therewasanartinitall,andhowwastheartsohidden?Whoindeedifitcametothatwastheoccultartist?LaunchingthisinquirytheotherdayIhadalreadygotholdofthetailofmyreply。Iwashelpedbytheverywonderofsomeoftheconditionsthatcamebacktome——thosethatusedtoseemasnaturalassunshineinafineclimate。
  Howwasitforinstancethatweneverwereacrowd,nevereithertoomanyortoofew,alwaystherightpeopleWITHtherightpeople——
  theremustreallyhavebeennowrongpeopleatall——alwayscomingandgoing,neverstickingfastnoroverstaying,yetneverpoppinginoroutwithanindecorousfamiliarity?Howwasitthatweallsatwherewewantedandmovedwhenwewantedandmetwhomwewantedandescapedwhomwewanted;joining,accordingtotheaccidentofinclination,thegeneralcircleorfallinginwithasingletalkeronaconvenientsofa?Whywereallthesofassoconvenient,theaccidentssohappy,thetalkerssoready,thelistenerssowilling,thesubjectspresentedtoyouinarotationasquicklyforeordainedasthecoursesatdinner?Adearthoftopicswouldhavebeenasunheardofasalapseintheservice。Thesespeculationscouldn’tfailtoleadmetothefundamentaltruththatBrooksmithhadbeensomehowatthebottomofthemystery。Ifhehadn’testablishedthesalonatleasthehadcarriediton。Brooksmithinshortwastheartist!
  Wefeltthiscovertlyatthetime,withoutformulatingit,andwereconscious,asanorderedandprosperouscommunity,ofhiseven-
  handedjustice,alluntaintedwithflunkeyism。Hehadnoneofthatvulgarity——histouchwasinfinitelyfine。Thedelicacyofitwascleartomeonthefirstoccasionmyeyesrested,astheyweresooftentorestagain,onthedomesticrevealed,intheturbidlightofthestreet,bytheopeningofthehouse-door。Isawonthespotthatthoughhehadplentyofschoolhecarrieditwithoutarrogance——hehadremainedarticulateandhuman。L’EcoleAnglaiseMr。Offordusedlaughinglytocallhimwhen,lateron,ithappenedmorethanoncethatwehadsomeconversationabouthim。ButI
  rememberaccusingMr。Offordofnotdoinghimquiteidealjustice。
  Thathewasn’toneofthegiantsoftheschool,however,wasadmittedbymyoldfriend,whoreallyunderstoodhimperfectlyandwasdevotedtohim,asIshallshow;whichdoubtlesspoorBrooksmithhadhimselffelt,tohiscost,whenhisvalueinthemarketwasoriginallydetermined。Theutilityofhisclassingeneralisestimatedbythefootandtheinch,andpoorBrooksmithhadonlyaboutfivefeetthreetoputintocirculation。Heacknowledgedtheinadequacyofthisprovision,andI’msurewaspenetratedwiththeeverlastingfitnessoftherelationbetweenserviceandstature。IfHEhadbeenMr。OffordhecertainlywouldhavefoundBrooksmithwanting,andindeedthelaxityofhisemployeronthisscorewasoneofmanythingshehadhadtocondoneandtowhichhehadatlastindulgentlyadaptedhimself。
  Iremembertheoldman’ssayingtome:"Ohmyservants,iftheycanlivewithmeafortnighttheycanlivewithmeforever。Butit’sthefirstfortnightthattries’em。"ItwasinthefirstfortnightforinstancethatBrooksmithhadhadtolearnthathewasexposedtobeingaddressedas"mydearfellow"and"mypoorchild。"
  Strangeanddeepmustsuchaprobationhavebeentohim,andhedoubtlessemergedfromittemperedandpurified。Thiswaswrittentoacertainextentinhisappearance;inhissparebrisklittleperson,inhiscloisteredwhitefaceandextraordinarilypolishedhair,whichtoldofresponsibility,lookedasifitwerekeptuptothesamehighstandardastheplate;inhissmallclearanxiouseyes,eveninthepermitted,thoughnotexactlyencouraged,tuftonhischin。"Hethinksmerathermad,butI’vebrokenhimin,andnowhelikestheplace,helikesthecompany,"saidtheoldman。I
  embracedthisfullyafterIhadbecomeawarethatBrooksmith’smaincharacteristicwasadeepandshyrefinement,thoughIrememberI
  wasratherpuzzledwhen,onanotheroccasion,Mr。Offordremarked:
  "Whathelikesisthetalk——minglingintheconversation。"IwasconsciousIhadneverseenBrooksmithpermithimselfthisfreedom,butIguessedinamomentthatwhatMr。Offordalludedtowasaparticipationmoreintensethananyspeechcouldhaverepresented——
  thatofbeingperpetuallypresentonahundredlegitimatepretexts,errands,necessities,andbreathingtheveryatmosphereofcriticism,thefamouscriticismoflife。"Quiteaneducation,sir,isn’tit,sir?"hesaidtomeonedayatthefootofthestairswhenhewaslettingmeout;andI’vealwaysrememberedthewordsandthetoneasthefirstsignofthequickeningdramaofpoorBrooksmith’sfate。Itwasindeedaneducation,buttowhatwasthissensitiveyoungmanofthirty-five,oftheservileclass,beingeducated?
  Practicallyandinevitably,forthetime,tocompanionship,totheperpetual,theevenexaggeratedreferenceandappealofapersonbroughttodependencebyhistimeoflifeandhisinfirmitiesandalwaysaddictedmoreover——thiswastheexaggeration——totheartofgivingyoupleasurebylettingyoudothingsforhim。TherewerecertainthingsMr。Offordwascapableofpretendinghelikedyoutodoevenwhenhedidn’t——this,Imean,ifhethoughtYOUlikedthem。
  Ifithappenedthatyoudidn’teither——whichwasrare,yetmightbe——ofcoursetherewerecross-purposes;butBrooksmithwastheretopreventtheirgoingveryfar。Thiswaspreciselythewayheactedasmoderator;heavertedmisunderstandingsorclearedthemup。Hehadbeencapable,strangeasitmayappear,ofacquiringforthispurposeaninsightintotheFrenchtongue,whichwasoftenusedatMr。Offord’s;forbesidesbeinghabitualtomostoftheforeigners,andtheyweremany,whohauntedtheplaceorarrivedwithletters——lettersoftenrequiringalittleworriedconsideration,ofwhichBrooksmithalwayshadcognisance——ithadreallybecometheprimarylanguageofthemasterofthehouse。I
  don’tknowifallthemalentenduswereinFrench,butalmostalltheexplanationswere,andthisdidn’tabitpreventBrooksmith’sfollowingthem。IknowMr。OffordusedtoreadpassagestohimfromMontaigneandSaint-Simon,forhereadperpetuallywhenalone——
  whenTHEYwerealone,thatis——andBrooksmithwasalwaysabout。
  Perhapsyou’llsaynowonderMr。Offord’sbutlerregardedhimas"rathermad。"However,ifI’mnotsurewhathethoughtaboutMontaigneI’mconvincedheadmiredSaint-Simon。Acertainfeelingforlettersmusthaverubbedoffonhimfromthemerehandlingofhismaster’sbooks,whichhewasalwayscarryingtoandfroandputtingbackintheirplaces。
  Ioftennoticedthatifananecdoteoraquotation,muchmorealivelydiscussion,wasgoingforward,hewould,ifbusywiththefireorthecurtains,thelamporthetea,findapretextforremainingintheroomtillthepointshouldbereached。Ifhispurposewastocatchityouweren’tdiscreet,youwereinfactscarcehuman,tocallhimoff,andIshallneverforgetalook,ahardstonystare——Icaughtitinitspassage——which,onedaywhentherewereagoodmanypeopleintheroom,hefasteneduponthefootmanwhowashelpinghimintheserviceandwho,inanundertone,hadaskedhimsomeirrelevantquestion。ItwastheonlymanifestationofharshnessIeverobservedonBrooksmith’spart,andIatfirstwonderedwhatwasthematter。ThenIbecameconsciousthatMr。Offordwasrelatingaverycuriousanecdote,neverbeforeperhapsmadesopublic,andimpartedtothenarratorbyaneye-witnessofthefact,bearingonLordByron’slifeinItaly。Nothingwouldinducemetoreproduceithere,butBrooksmithhadbeenindangeroflosingit。IfIevershouldventuretoreproduceitIshallfeelhowmuchIloseinnothavingmyfellowauditortoreferto。
  ThefirstdayMrOfford’sdoorwasclosedwasthereforeadarkdateincontemporaryhistory。Itwasraininghardandmyumbrellawaswet,butBrooksmithreceiveditfrommeexactlyasifthiswereapreliminaryforgoingupstairs。Iobservedhoweverthatinsteadofputtingitawayhehelditpoisedandtricklingovertherug,andI
  thenbecameawarethathewaslookingatmewithdeepacknowledgingeyes——hisairofuniversalresponsibility。Iimmediatelyunderstood——therewasscarceneedofquestionandanswerastheypassedbetweenus。WhenItookinthatourgoodfriendhadgivenupasneverbefore,thoughonlyfortheoccasion,Iexclaimeddolefully:"Whatadifferenceitwillmake——andtohowmanypeople!"
  "Ishallbeoneofthem,sir!"saidBrooksmith;andthatwasthebeginningoftheend。
  Mr。Offordcamedownagain,butthespellwasbroken,thegreatsignbeingthattheconversationwasforthefirsttimenotdirected。Itwanderedandstumbled,alittlefrightened,likealostchild——ithadletgothenurse’shand。"Theworstofitisthatnowweshalltalkaboutmyhealth——c’estlafindetout,"Mr。
  Offordsaidwhenhereappeared;andthenIrecognisedwhatanoteofchangethatwouldbe——forhehadnevertoleratedanythingsoprovincial。We"ran"toeachother’shealthaslittleastothedailyweather。Thetalkbecameours,inaword——nothis;andasours,evenwhenHEtalked,itcouldonlybeinferior。InthisformitwasadistresstoBrooksmith,whoseattentionnowwanderedfromitaltogether:hehadsomuchcloseravisionofhismaster’sintimateconditionsthanoursuperficialitiesrepresented。Therewerebetterhours,andhewasmoreinandoutoftheroom,butI
  couldseehewasconsciousofthedecline,almostofthecollapse,ofourgreatinstitution。Heseemedtowishtotakecounselwithmeaboutit,tofeelresponsibleforitsgoingoninsomeformorother。Whenforthesecondperiod——thefirsthadlastedseveraldays——hehadtotellmethathisemployerdidn’treceive,Ihalfexpectedtohearhimsayafteramoment"DoyouthinkIoughtto,sir,inhisplace?"——ashemighthaveaskedme,withthereturnofautumn,ifIthoughthehadbetterlightthedrawing-roomfire。
  Hehadaresignedphilosophicsenseofwhathisguests——ourguests,asIcametoregardtheminourcolloquies——wouldexpect。Hisfeelingwasthathewouldn’tabsolutelyhaveapprovedofhimselfasasubstituteforMr。Offord;buthewassosaturatedwiththereligionofhabitthathewouldhavemade,forourfriends,thenecessarysacrificetothedivinity。Hewouldtakethemonalittlefurtherandtilltheycouldlookaboutthem。IthinkIsawhimalsomentallyconfrontedwiththeopportunitytodeal——foronceinhislife——withsomeofhisowndumbpreferences,hislimitationsofsympathy,WEEDINGalittleinprospectandreturningtoapurertradition。Itwasnotunknowntomethatheconsideredthattowardtheendofourhost’scareeracertainlaxityofselectionhadcreptin。
  Atlastitcametobethecasethatweallfoundthecloseddoormoreoftenthantheopenone;butevenwhenitwasclosedBrooksmithmanagedacrackformetosqueezethrough;sothatpracticallyIneverturnedawaywithouthavingpaidavisit。ThedifferencesimplycametobethatthevisitwastoBrooksmith。Ittookplaceinthehall,atthefamiliarfootofthestairs,andwedidn’tsitdown,atleastBrooksmithdidn’t;moreoveritwasdevotedwhollytoonetopicandalwayshadtheairofbeingalreadyover——beginning,sotosay,attheend。Butitwasalwaysinteresting——italwaysgavemesomethingtothinkabout。It’struethatthesubjectofmymeditationwaseverthesame——ever"It’sallverywell,butwhatWILLbecomeofBrooksmith?"Evenmyprivateanswertothisquestionleftmestillunsatisfied。NodoubtMr。
  Offordwouldprovideforhim,butWHATwouldheprovide?——thatwasthegreatpoint。Hecouldn’tprovidesociety;andsocietyhadbecomeanecessityofBrooksmith’snature。ImustaddthathenevershowedasymptomofwhatImaycallsordidsolicitude——
  anxietyonhisownaccount。Hewasratherlividandintenselygrave,asbefittedamanbeforewhoseeyesthe"shadeofthatwhichoncewasgreat"waspassingaway。Hehadthesolemnityofapersonwindingup,underdepressingcircumstances,along-establishedandcelebratedbusiness;hewasakindofsocialexecutororliquidator。ButhismannerseemedtotestifyexclusivelytotheuncertaintyofOURfuture。Icouldn’tinthosedayshaveaffordedit——IlivedintworoomsinJermynStreetanddidn’t"keepaman";
  butevenifmyincomehadpermittedIshouldn’thaveventuredtosaytoBrooksmith(emulatingMr。Offord)"Mydearfellow,I’lltakeyouon。"ThewholetoneofourintercoursewassomuchmoreanimplicationthatitwasIwhoshouldnowwantalift。IndeedtherewasatacitassuranceinBrooksmith’swholeattitudethatheshouldhavemeonhismind。
  OneofthemostassiduousmembersofourcirclehadbeenLadyKenyon,andIrememberhistellingmeonedaythatherladyshiphadinspiteofherowninfirmities,latelymuchaggravated,beeninpersontoinquire。InanswertothisIremarkedthatshewouldfeelitmorethananyone。Brooksmithhadapausebeforesayinginacertaintone——there’snoreproducingsomeofhistones——"I’llgoandseeher。"Iwenttoseehermyselfandlearnedhehadwaitedonher;butwhenIsaidtoher,intheformofajokebutwithacoreofearnest,thatwhenallwasoversomeofusoughttocombine,toclubtogether,andsetBrooksmithuponhisownaccount,sherepliedatrifledisappointingly:"Doyoumeaninapublic-house?"IlookedatherinawaythatIthinkBrooksmithhimselfwouldhaveapproved,andthenIanswered:"Yes,theOffordArms。"WhatIhadmeantofcoursewasthatfortheloveofartitselfweoughttolooktoitthatsuchapeculiarfacultyandsomuchacquiredexperienceshouldn’tbewasted。Ireallythinkthatifwehadcausedafewblack-edgedcardstobestruckoffandcirculated——"Mr。Brooksmithwillcontinuetoreceiveontheoldpremisesfromfourtoseven;businesscarriedonasusualduringthealterations"——thegreaternumberofuswouldhaverallied。
  Severaltimeshetookmeupstairs——alwaysbyhisownproposal——andourdearoldfriend,inbed(inacuriousfloweredandbrocadedcasaquewhichmadehim,especiallyashisheadwastiedupinahandkerchieftomatch,look,tomyimagination,likethedyingVoltaire)heldfortenminutesasadlyshrunkenlittlesalon。I
  feltindeedeachtimeasifIwereattendingthelastcoucherofsomesocialsovereign。Hewasroyallywhimsicalabouthissufferingsandnotatallconcerned——quiteasiftheConstitutionprovidedforthecaseabouthissuccessor。HeglidedoverOUR
  sufferingscharmingly,andnoneofhisjokes——itwasagallantabstention,someofthemwouldhavebeensoeasy——wereatourexpense。Nowandagain,Iconfess,therewasoneatBrooksmith’s,butsopatheticallysociableastomaketheexcellentmanlookatmeinawaythatseemedtosay:"Doexchangeaglancewithme,orIshan’tbeabletostandit。"Whathewasn’tabletostandwasnotwhatMr。Offordsaidabouthim,butwhathewasn’tabletosayinreturn。Hisideaofconversationforhimselfwasgivingyoutheconvenienceofspeakingtohim;andwhenhewentto"see"LadyKenyonforinstanceitwastocarryherthetributeofhisreceptivesilence。Wherewouldthespeechofhisbettershavebeenifproperservicehadbeenamanifestationofsound?Inthatcasethefundamentaldifferencewouldhavehadtobeshownbytheirdumbness,andmanyofthem,poorthings,weredumbenoughwithoutthatprovision。Brooksmithtookanunfailinginterestinthepreservationofthefundamentaldifference;itwasthethinghehadmostonhisconscience。
  WhathadbecomeofithoweverwhenMr。Offordpassedawaylikeanyinferiorperson——wasrelegatedtoeternalstillnessafterthemannerofabutlerabove-stairs?Hisaspectontheevent——fortheseveralsuccessivedays——maybeimagined,andthemultiplicationbyfunerealobservanceofthethingshedidn’tsay。Wheneverythingwasover——itwaslatethesameday——IknockedatthedoorofthehouseofmourningasIsooftenhaddonebefore。IcouldnevercallonMr。Offordagain,butIhadcomeliterallytocallonBrooksmith。IwantedtoaskhimiftherewasanythingIcoulddoforhim,taintedwithvaguenessasthisinquirycouldonlybe。Mypresumptuousdreamoftakinghimintomyownservicehaddiedaway:
  myservicewasn’tworthhisbeingtakeninto。Myoffercouldonlybetohelphimtofindanotherplace,andyettherewasanindelicacy,asitwere,intakingforgrantedthathisthoughtswouldimmediatelybefixedonanother。Ihadahopethathewouldbeabletogivehislifeadifferentform——thoughcertainlynottheform,thefrequentresultofsuchbereavements,ofhissettingupalittleshop。Thatwouldhavebeendreadful;forIshouldhavewishedtoforwardanyenterprisehemightembarkin,yethowcouldIhavebroughtmyselftogoandpayhimshillingsandtakebackcoppers,overacounter?Myvisitthenwassimplyanintendedcompliment。Hetookitassuch,gratefullyandwithallthetactintheworld。HeknewIreallycouldn’thelphimandthatIknewheknewIcouldn’t;butwediscussedthesituation——withagooddealofelegantgenerality——atthefootofthestairs,inthehallalreadydismantled,whereIhadsooftendiscussedothersituationswithhim。Theexecutorswereinpossession,aswasstillmoreapparentwhenhemademepassforafewminutesintothedining-
  room,wherevariousobjectsweremuffledupforremoval。
  Twodefinitefacts,however,hehadtocommunicate;onebeingthathewastoleavethehouseforeverthatnight(servants,forsomemysteriousreason,seemalwaystodepartbynight),andtheother——
  hementioneditonlyatthelastandwithhesitation——thathewasalreadyawarehislatemasterhadlefthimalegacyofeightypounds。"I’mveryglad,"Isaid,andBrooksmithwasofthesamemind:"Itwassolikehimtothinkofme。"Thiswasallthatpassedbetweenusonthesubject,andIknownothingofhisjudgementofMr。Offord’smemento。Eightypoundsarealwayseightypounds,andnoonehaseverleftMEanequalsum;but,allthesame,forBrooksmith,Iwasdisappointed。Idon’tknowwhatIhadexpected,butitwasalmostashock。Eightypoundsmightstockasmallshop——aVERYsmallshop;but,Irepeat,Icouldn’tbeartothinkofthat。Iaskedmyfriendifhehadbeenabletosavealittle,andhereplied:"No,sir;I’vehadtodothings。"I
  didn’tinquirewhatthingstheymighthavebeen;theywerehisownaffair,andItookhiswordforthemasassentinglyasifhehadhadthegreatnessofanancienthousetokeepup;especiallyastherewassomethinginhismannerthatseemedtoconveyaprospectoffurthersacrifice。
  "Ishallhavetoturnroundabit,sir——Ishallhavetolookaboutme,"hesaid;andthenheaddedindulgently,magnanimously:"Ifyoushouldhappentohearofanythingforme——"
  Icouldn’tlethimfinish;thiswas,initsessence,toomuchinthereallygrandmanner。ItwouldbeahelptomygettinghimoffmymindtobeabletopretendICOULDfindtherightplace,andthathelphewishedtogiveme,foritwasdoubtlesspainfultohimtoseemeinsofalseaposition。IinterposedwithafewwordstotheeffectofhowwellawareIwasthatwhereverheshouldgo,whateverheshoulddo,hewouldmissouroldfriendterribly——misshimevenmorethanIshould,havingbeenwithhimsomuchmore。
  Thisledhimtomakethespeechthathasremainedwithmeastheverytextofthewholeepisode。
  "Ohsir,it’ssadforYOU,verysadindeed,andforagreatmanygentlemenandladies;thatitis,sir。Butforme,sir,itis,ifImaysayso,stillgravereventhanthat:it’sjustthelossofsomethingthatwaseverything。Forme,sir,"hewentonwithrisingtears,"hewasjustALL,ifyouknowwhatImean,sir。Youhaveothers,sir,Idaresay——notthatIwouldhaveyouunderstandmetospeakofthemasinanywaytantamount。Butyouhavethepleasuresofsociety,sir;ifit’sonlyintalkingabouthim,sir,asIdaresayyoudofreely——forallhisblestmemoryhastofearfromit——withgentlemenandladieswhohavehadthesamehonour。
  That’snotforme,sir,andI’vetokeepmyassociationstomyself。
  Mr。OffordwasMYsociety,andnow,yousee,Ijusthaven’tany。
  Yougobacktoconversation,sir,afterall,andIgobacktomyplace,"Brooksmithstammered,withoutexaggeratedironyordramaticbitterness,butwithaflatunstudiedveracityandhishandontheknobofthestreet-door。Heturnedittoletmeoutandthenheadded:"Ijustgodownstairs,sir,again,andIstaythere。"
  "Mypoorchild,"Irepliedinmyemotion,quiteasMr。Offordusedtospeak,"mydearfellow,leaveittome:WE’LLlookafteryou,we’llalldosomethingforyou。"
  "AhifyoucouldgivemesomeoneLIKEhim!Butthereain’ttwosuchintheworld,"Brooksmithsaidasweparted。
  Hehadgivenmehisaddress——theplacewherehewouldbetobeheardof。ForalongtimeIhadnooccasiontomakeuseoftheinformation:heprovedontrialsoverydifficultacase。ThepeoplewhoknewhimandhadknownMr。Offorddidn’twanttotakehim,andyetIcouldn’tbeartotrytothrusthimamongstrangers——
  strangerstohispastwhennottohispresent。IspoketomanyofouroldfriendsabouthimandfoundthemallgovernedbytheoddmixtureoffeelingsofwhichImyselfwasconscious——aswellasdisposed,further,toentertainasuspicionthathewas"spoiled,"
  withwhich,Ithenwouldhavenothingtodo。Inplaintermsacertainembarrassment,asensibleawkwardnesswhentheythoughtofit,attachedtotheideaofusinghimasamenial:theyhadmethimsoofteninsociety。Manyofthemwouldhaveaskedhim,anddidaskhim,orratherdidaskmetoaskhim,tocomeandseethem,butamerevisiting-listwasnotwhatIwantedforhim。Hewastooshortforpeoplewhowereveryparticular;neverthelessIheardofanopeninginadiplomatichouseholdwhichledmetowritehimanote,thoughIwaslookingmuchlessforsomethinggrandthanforsomethinghuman。FivedayslaterIheardfromhim。Thesecretary’swifehaddecided,afterkeepinghimwaitingtillthen,thatshecouldn’ttakeaservantoutofahouseinwhichtherehadn’tbeenalady。ThenotehadaP。S。:"It’sagoodjobtherewasn’t,sir,suchaladyassome。"
  Aweeklaterhecametoseemeandtoldmehewas"suited,"
  committedtosomehighlyrespectablepeople——theyweresomethingquiteimmenseintheCity——wholivedontheBayswatersideofthePark。"Idaresayitwillberatherpoor,sir,"headmitted;"butI’veseenthefireworks,haven’tI,sir?——itcan’tbefireworksEVERYnight。AfterMansfieldStreetthereain’tmuchchoice。"
  Therewasacertainamount,however,itseemed;forthefollowingyear,callingonedayonacountrycousin,aladyofacertainagewhowasspendingafortnightintownwithsomefriendsofherown,afamilyunknowntomeandresidentinChesterSquare,thedoorofthehousewasopened,tomysurpriseandgratification,byBrooksmithinperson。WhenIcameoutIhadsomeconversationwithhimfromwhichIgatheredthathehadfoundthelargeCitypeopletoodullforendurance,andIguessed,thoughhedidn’tsayit,thathehadfoundthemvulgaraswell。Idon’tknowwhatjudgementhewouldhavepassedonhisactualpatronsifmyrelativehadn’tbeentheirfriend;butinviewofthatconnexionheabstainedfromcomment。
  Nonewasnecessary,however,forbeforetheladyinquestionbroughthervisittoaclosetheyhonouredmewithaninvitationtodinner,whichIaccepted。Therewasalargeishpartyontheoccasion,butIconfessIthoughtofBrooksmithrathermorethanoftheseatedcompany。Theyrequirednodepthofattention——theywereallreferabletousualirredeemableinevitabletypes。Itwastheworldofcheerfulcommonplaceandconsciousgentilityandprosperousdensity,afull-fedmaterialinsularworld,aworldofhideousfloridplateandponderousorderandthinconversation。
  Therewasn’tawordsaidaboutByron,orevenaboutaminorbardthenmuchinview。NothingwouldhaveinducedmetolookatBrooksmithinthecourseoftherepast,andIfeltsurethatnotevenmyoverturningthewinewouldhaveinducedhimtomeetmyeye。
  Wewereinintellectualsympathy——wefelt,asregardseachother,adegreeofsocialresponsibility。InshortwehadbeeninArcadiatogether,andwehadbothcometoTHIS!Nowonderwewereashamedtobeconfronted。Whenhehadhelpedonmyovercoat,asIwasgoingaway,weparted,forthefirsttimesincetheearliestdaysofMansfieldStreet,insilence。Ithoughthelookedleanandwasted,andIguessedthathisnewplacewasn’tmore"human"thanhispreviousone。Therewasplentyofbeefandbeer,buttherewasnoreciprocity。Thequestionforhimtohaveaskedbeforeacceptingthepositionwouldn’thavebeen"Howmanyfootmenarekept?"but"Howmuchimagination?"
  ThenexttimeIwenttothehouse——Iconfessitwasn’tverysoon——I
  encounteredhissuccessor,apersonagewhoevidentlyenjoyedthegoodfortuneofneverhavingquittedhisnaturallevel。Couldanybehigher?heseemedtoask——overtheheadsofthreefootmenandevenofsomevisitors。HemademefeelasifBrooksmithweredead;
  butIdidn’tdaretoinquire——Icouldn’thavebornehis"Ihaven’ttheleastidea,sir。"IdespatchedanotetotheaddressthatworthyhadgivenmeafterMr。Offord’sdeath,butIreceivednoanswer。SixmonthslaterhoweverIwasfavouredwithavisitfromanelderlydrearydingypersonwhointroducedherselftomeasMr。
  Brooksmith’sauntandfromwhomIlearnedthathewasoutofplaceandoutofhealthandhadallowedhertocomeandsaytomethatifIcouldsparehalfanhourtolookinathimhewouldtakeitasararehonour。
  Iwentthenextday——hismessengerhadgivenmeanewaddress——andfoundmyfriendlodgedinashortsordidstreetinMarylebone,oneofthosecornersofLondonthatwearthelastexpressionofsicklymeanness。TheroomintowhichIwasshownwasabovethesmallestablishmentofadyerandcleanerwhohadinflatedkidglovesanddiscolouredshawlsinhisshop-front。Therewasagreatdealofgrimyinfantlifeupanddowntheplace,andtherewasahotmoistsmellwithin,asofthe"boiling"ofdirtylinen。Brooksmithsatwithablanketoverhislegsatacleanlittlewindowwhere,frombehindstiffbluish-whitecurtains,hecouldlookacrossatahuckster’sandatinsmith’sandasmallgreasypublic-house。Hehadpassedthroughanillnessandwasconvalescent,andhismother,aswellashisaunt,wasinattendanceonhim。Ilikedthenearerrelative,whowasblandandintenselyhumble,butIhadmydoubtsoftheremoter,whomIconnectedperhapsunjustlywiththeoppositepublic-house——sheseemedsomehowgreasywiththesamegrease——andwhosefurtiveeyefollowedeverymovementofmyhandastoseeifitweren’tgoingintomypocket。Itdidn’ttakethisdirection——I
  couldn’t,unsolicited,putmyselfatthatsortofeasewithBrooksmith。Severaltimesthedooroftheroomopenedandmysteriousoldwomenpeepedinandshuffledbackagain。Idon’tknowwhotheywere;poorBrooksmithseemedencompassedwithvaguepryingbeeryfemales。
  Hewasvaguehimself,andevidentlyweak,andmuchembarrassed,andnotanallusionwasmadebetweenustoMansfieldStreet。Thevisionofthesalonofwhichhehadbeenanornamenthoveredbeforemehowever,bycontrast,sufficiently。Heassuredmehewasreallygettingbetter,andhismotherremarkedthathewouldcomeroundifhecouldonlygethisspiritsup。Theauntechoedthisopinion,andIbecamemoresurethatinherowncasesheknewwheretogoforsuchapurpose。I’mafraidIwasratherweakwithmyoldfriend,forIneglectedtheopportunity,soexceptionallygood,torebukethelevitywhichhadledhimtothrowuphonourablepositions——finestiffsteadyberthsinBayswaterandBelgravia,withmorningprayers,asIknew,attachedtooneofthem。Verylikelyhisreasonshadbeenprofaneandsentimental;hedidn’twantmorningprayers,hewantedtobesomebody’sdearfellow;butI
  couldn’tbethepersontorebukehim。Heshuffledtheseepisodesoutofsight——Isawhehadnowishtodiscussthem。Inotedfurther,strangelyenough,thatitwouldprobablybeaquestionablepleasureforhimtoseemeagain:hedoubtednowevenofmypowertocondonehisaberrations。Hedidn’twishtohavetoexplain;andhisbehaviourwaslikelyinfuturetoneedexplanation。WhenI
  badehimfarewellhelookedatmeamomentwitheyesthatsaideverything:"HowcanItalkaboutthoseexquisiteyearsinthisplace,beforethesepeople,withtheoldwomenpokingtheirheadsin?Itwasverygoodofyoutocometoseeme;itwasn’tmyidea——
  SHEbroughtyou。We’vesaideverything;it’sover;you’llloseallpatiencewithme,andI’dratheryoushouldn’tseetherest。"I
  senthimsomemoneyinaletterthenextday,butIsawtherestonlyinthelightofabarrensequel。
  AwholeyearaftermyvisittohimIbecameawareonce,indiningout,thatBrooksmithwasoneoftheseveralservantswhohoveredbehindourchairs。Hehadn’topenedthedoorofthehousetome,norhadIrecognisedhiminthearrayofretainersinthehall。
  ThistimeItriedtocatchhiseye,buthenevergavemeachance,andwhenhehandedmeadishIcouldonlybecarefultothankhimaudibly。IndeedIpartookoftwoentreesofwhichIhadmydoubts,subsequentlyconvertedintocertainties,inordernottosnubhim。
  Helookedwellenoughinhealth,butmucholder,andworeinanexceptionallymarkeddegreetheglazedandexpressionlessmaskoftheBritishdomesticderace。IsawwithdismaythatifIhadn’tknownhimIshouldhavetakenhim,ontheshowingofhiscountenance,foranextravagantillustrationofirresponsiveservilegloom。Isaidtomyselfthathehadbecomeareactionary,goneovertothePhilistines,thrownhimselfintoreligion,thereligionofhis"place,"likeaforeignladysurleretour。I
  divinedmoreoverthathewasonlyengagedfortheevening——hehadbecomeamerewaiter,hadjoinedthebandofthewhite-waistcoatedwho"goout。"Therewassomethingpatheticinthisfact——itwasaterriblevulgarisationofBrooksmith。Itwasthemercenaryproseofbutlerhood;hehadgivenupthestruggleforthepoetry。Ifreciprocitywaswhathehadmissedwherewasthereciprocitynow?
  Onlyinthebottomsofthewine-glassesandthefiveshillings——orwhatevertheyget——clappedintohishandbythepermanentman。
  However,Isupposedhehadtakenupaprecariousbranchofhisprofessionbecauseitafterallsenthimlessdownstairs。HisrelationswithLondonsocietyweremoresuperficial,buttheywereofcoursemorevarious。AsIwentawayonthisoccasionIlookedoutforhimeagerlyamongthefourorfiveattendantswhoseperpendicularpersons,flutingthewallsofLondonpassages,aresupposedtolubricatetheprocessofdeparture;buthewasnotonduty。Iaskedoneoftheothersifhewerenotinthehouse,andreceivedthepromptanswer:"Justleft,sir。AnythingIcandoforyou,sir?"Iwantedtosay"Pleasegivehimmykindregards";
  butIabstained——Ididn’twanttocompromisehim;andInevercameacrosshimagain。
  Oftenandoften,indiningout,Ilookedforhim,sometimesacceptinginvitationsonpurposetomultiplythechancesofmymeetinghim。Butalwaysinvain;sothatasImetmanyothermembersofthecasualclassoverandoveragainIatlastadoptedthetheorythathealwaysprocuredalistofexpectedguestsbeforehandandkeptawayfromthebanquetswhichhethuslearnedI
  wastograce。AtlastIgaveuphope,andonedayattheendofthreeyearsIreceivedanothervisitfromhisaunt。Shewasdrearieranddingier,almostsqualid,andshewasingreattribulationandwant。Hersister,Mrs。Brooksmith,hadbeendeadayear,andthreemonthslaterhernephewhaddisappeared。Hehadalwayslookedafterherabitsincehertroubles;Ineverknewwhathertroubleshadbeen——andnowshehadn’tsomuchasapetticoattopawn。Shehadalsoaniece,towhomshehadbeeneverythingbeforehertroubles,buttheniecehadtreatedhermostshameful。Theseweredetails;thegreatandromanticfactwasBrooksmith’sfinalevasionofhisfate。Hehadgoneouttowaitoneeveningasusual,inawhitewaistcoatshehaddoneupforhimwithherownhands——
  beingdueatalargepartyupKensingtonway。Buthehadnevercomehomeagainandhadneverarrivedatthelargeparty,noratanypartythatanyonecouldmakeout。Notraceofhimhadcometolight——nogleamofthewhitewaistcoathadpiercedtheobscurityofhisdoom。Thisnewswasasharpshocktome,forIhadmyideasabouthisrealdestination。Hisagedrelativehadpromptly,asshesaid,guessedtheworst。Somehow,andsomewherehehadgotoutofthewayaltogether,andnowItrustthat,withcharacteristicdeliberation,heischangingtheplatesoftheimmortalgods。Asmydepressingvisitantalsosaid,heneverHADgothisspiritsup。
  Iwasfortunatelyabletodismissherwithherownsomewhatimproved。ButthedimghostofpoorBrooksmithisoneofthosethatIsee。Hehadindeedbeenspoiled。
  THEREALTHING
  CHAPTERI
  Whentheporter’swife,whousedtoanswerthehouse-bell,announced"Agentlemanandalady,sir,"Ihad,asIoftenhadinthosedays——thewishbeingfathertothethought——animmediatevisionofsitters。Sittersmyvisitorsinthiscaseprovedtobe;
  butnotinthesenseIshouldhavepreferred。Therewasnothingatfirsthowevertoindicatethattheymightn’thavecomeforaportrait。Thegentleman,amanoffifty,veryhighandverystraight,withamoustacheslightlygrizzledandadarkgreywalking-coatadmirablyfitted,bothofwhichInotedprofessionally——Idon’tmeanasabarberoryetasatailor——wouldhavestruckmeasacelebrityifcelebritiesoftenwerestriking。
  ItwasatruthofwhichIhadforsometimebeenconsciousthatafigurewithagooddealoffrontagewas,asonemightsay,almostneverapublicinstitution。Aglanceattheladyhelpedtoremindmeofthisparadoxicallaw:shealsolookedtoodistinguishedtobea"personality。"Moreoveronewouldscarcelycomeacrosstwovariationstogether。
  Neitherofthepairimmediatelyspoke——theyonlyprolongedthepreliminarygazesuggestingthateachwishedtogivetheotherachance。Theywerevisiblyshy;theystoodtherelettingmetakethemin——which,asIafterwardsperceived,wasthemostpracticalthingtheycouldhavedone。Inthiswaytheirembarrassmentservedtheircause。Ihadseenpeoplepainfullyreluctanttomentionthattheydesiredanythingsogrossastoberepresentedoncanvas;butthescruplesofmynewfriendsappearedalmostinsurmountable。Yetthegentlemanmighthavesaid"Ishouldlikeaportraitofmywife,"andtheladymighthavesaid"Ishouldlikeaportraitofmyhusband。"Perhapstheyweren’thusbandandwife——thisnaturallywouldmakethemattermoredelicate。Perhapstheywishedtobedonetogether——inwhichcasetheyoughttohavebroughtathirdpersontobreakthenews。
  "WecomefromMr。Rivet,"theladyfinallysaidwithadimsmilethathadtheeffectofamoistspongepassedovera"sunk"pieceofpainting,aswellasofavagueallusiontovanishedbeauty。Shewasastallandstraight,inherdegree,ashercompanion,andwithtenyearslesstocarry。Shelookedassadasawomancouldlookwhosefacewasnotchargedwithexpression;thatishertintedovalmaskshowedwasteasanexposedsurfaceshowsfriction。Thehandoftimehadplayedoverherfreely,buttoaneffectofelimination。Shewasslimandstiff,andsowell-dressed,indarkbluecloth,withlappetsandpocketsandbuttons,thatitwasclearsheemployedthesametailorasherhusband。Thecouplehadanindefinableairofprosperousthrift——theyevidentlygotagooddealofluxuryfortheirmoney。IfIwastobeoneoftheirluxuriesitwouldbehovemetoconsidermyterms。
  "AhClaudeRivetrecommendedme?"IechoedandIaddedthatitwasverykindofhim,thoughIcouldreflectthat,asheonlypaintedlandscape,thiswasn’tasacrifice。
  Theladylookedveryhardatthegentleman,andthegentlemanlookedroundtheroom。Thenstaringattheflooramomentandstrokinghismoustache,herestedhispleasanteyesonmewiththeremark:"Hesaidyouweretherightone。"
  "Itrytobe,whenpeoplewanttosit。"
  "Yes,weshouldliketo,"saidtheladyanxiously。
  "Doyoumeantogether?"
  Myvisitorsexchangedaglance。"IfyoucoulddoanythingwithME
  Isupposeitwouldbedouble,"thegentlemanstammered。
  "Ohyes,there’snaturallyahigherchargefortwofiguresthanforone。"
  "Weshouldliketomakeitpay,"thehusbandconfessed。
  "That’sverygoodofyou,"Ireturned,appreciatingsounwontedasympathy——forIsupposedhemeantpaytheartist。
  Asenseofstrangenessseemedtodawnonthelady。"Wemeanfortheillustrations——Mr。Rivetsaidyoumightputonein。"
  "Putin——anillustration?"Iwasequallyconfused。
  "Sketchheroff,youknow,"saidthegentleman,colouring。
  ItwasonlythenthatIunderstoodtheserviceClaudeRivethadrenderedme;hehadtoldthemhowIworkedinblack-and-white,formagazines,forstory-books,forsketchesofcontemporarylife,andconsequentlyhadcopiousemploymentformodels。Thesethingsweretrue,butitwasnotlesstrue——Imayconfessitnow;whetherbecausetheaspirationwastoleadtoeverythingortonothingI
  leavethereadertoguess——thatIcouldn’tgetthehonours,tosaynothingoftheemoluments,ofagreatpainterofportraitsoutofmyhead。My"illustrations"weremypot-boilers;Ilookedtoadifferentbranchofart——farandawaythemostinterestingithadalwaysseemedtome——toperpetuatemyfame。Therewasnoshameinlookingtoitalsotomakemyfortunebutthatfortunewasbysomuchfurtherfrombeingmadefromthemomentmyvisitorswishedtobe"done"fornothing。Iwasdisappointed;forinthepictorialsenseIhadimmediatelySEENthem。Ihadseizedtheirtype——IhadalreadysettledwhatIwoulddowithit。Somethingthatwouldn’tabsolutelyhavepleasedthem,Iafterwardsreflected。
  "Ahyou’re——you’re——a-?"IbeganassoonasIhadmasteredmysurprise。Icouldn’tbringoutthedingyword"models":itseemedsolittletofitthecase。
  "Wehaven’thadmuchpractice,"saidthelady。
  "We’vegottodosomething,andwe’vethoughtthatanartistinyourlinemightperhapsmakesomethingofus,"herhusbandthrewoff。Hefurthermentionedthattheydidn’tknowmanyartistsandthattheyhadgonefirst,ontheoff-chance——hepaintedviewsofcourse,butsometimesputinfigures;perhapsIremembered——toMr。
  Rivet,whomtheyhadmetafewyearsbeforeataplaceinNorfolkwherehewassketching。
  "Weusedtosketchalittleourselves,"theladyhinted。
  "It’sveryawkward,butweabsolutelymustdosomething,"herhusbandwenton。
  "Ofcoursewe’renotsoVERYyoung,"sheadmittedwithawansmile。
  WiththeremarkthatImightaswellknowsomethingmoreaboutthemthehusbandhadhandedmeacardextractedfromaneatnewpocket-
  book——theirappurtenanceswereallofthefreshest——andinscribedwiththewords"MajorMonarch。"Impressiveasthesewordsweretheydidn’tcarrymyknowledgemuchfurther;butmyvisitorpresentlyadded:"I’veleftthearmyandwe’vehadthemisfortunetoloseourmoney。Infactourmeansaredreadfullysmall。"
  "It’sawfullytrying——aregularstrain,",saidMrs。Monarch。
  Theyevidentlywishedtobediscreet——totakecarenottoswaggerbecausetheyweregentlefolk。Ifeltthemwillingtorecognisethisassomethingofadrawback,atthesametimethatIguessedatanunderlyingsense——theirconsolationinadversity——thattheyHAD
  theirpoints。Theycertainlyhad;buttheseadvantagesstruckmeaspreponderantlysocial;suchforinstanceaswouldhelptomakeadrawing-roomlookwell。However,adrawing-roomwasalways,oroughttobe,apicture。
  Inconsequenceofhiswife’sallusiontotheirageMajorMonarchobserved:"Naturallyit’smoreforthefigurethatwethoughtofgoingin。Wecanstillholdourselvesup。"OntheinstantIsawthatthefigurewasindeedtheirstrongpoint。His"naturally"
  didn’tsoundvain,butitlightedupthequestion。"SHEhasthebestone,"hecontinued,noddingathiswifewithapleasantafter-
  dinnerabsenceofcircumlocution。Icouldonlyreply,asifwewereinfactsittingoverourwine,thatthisdidn’tpreventhisownfrombeingverygood;whichledhiminturntomakeanswer:
  "Wethoughtthatifyoueverhavetodopeoplelikeuswemightbesomethinglikeit。SHEparticularly——foraladyinabook,youknow。"
  Iwassoamusedbythemthat,togetmoreofit,Ididmybesttotaketheirpointofview;andthoughitwasanembarrassmenttofindmyselfappraisingphysically,asiftheywereanimalsonhireorusefulblacks,apairwhomIshouldhaveexpectedtomeetonlyinoneoftherelationsinwhichcriticismistacit,IlookedatMrs。Monarchjudiciallyenoughtobeabletoexclaimafteramomentwithconviction:"Ohyes,aladyinabook!"Shewassingularlylikeabadillustration。
  "We’llstandup,ifyoulike,"saidtheMajor;andheraisedhimselfbeforemewithareallygrandair。
  Icouldtakehismeasureataglance——hewassixfeettwoandaperfectgentleman。Itwouldhavepaidanyclubinprocessofformationandinwantofastamptoengagehimatasalarytostandintheprincipalwindow。Whatstruckmeatoncewasthatincomingtometheyhadrathermissedtheirvocation;theycouldsurelyhavebeenturnedtobetteraccountforadvertisingpurposes。Icouldn’tofcourseseethethingindetail,butIcouldseethemmakesomebody’sfortune——Idon’tmeantheirown。Therewassomethinginthemforawaistcoat-maker,anhotel-keeperorasoap-vendor。I
  couldimagine"Wealwaysuseit"pinnedontheirbosomswiththegreatesteffect;Ihadavisionofthebrilliancywithwhichtheywouldlaunchatabled’hote。
  Mrs。Monarchsatstill,notfrompridebutfromshyness,andpresentlyherhusbandsaidtoher:"Getup,mydear,andshowhowsmartyouare。"Sheobeyed,butshehadnoneedtogetuptoshowit。Shewalkedtotheendofthestudioandthencamebackblushing,herflutteredeyesonthepartnerofherappeal。IwasremindedofanincidentIhadaccidentallyhadaglimpseofinParis——beingwithafriendthere,adramatistabouttoproduceaplay,whenanactresscametohimtoasktobeentrustedwithapart。Shewentthroughherpacesbeforehim,walkedupanddownasMrs。Monarchwasdoing。Mrs。Monarchdiditquiteaswell,butI
  abstainedfromapplauding。Itwasveryoddtoseesuchpeopleapplyforsuchpoorpay。Shelookedasifshehadtenthousandayear。Herhusbandhadusedthewordthatdescribedher:shewasintheLondoncurrentjargonessentiallyandtypically"smart。"
  Herfigurewas,inthesameorderofideas,conspicuouslyandirreproachably"good。"Forawomanofherageherwaistwassurprisinglysmall;herelbowmoreoverhadtheorthodoxcrook。Sheheldherheadattheconventionalangle,butwhydidshecometoME?Sheoughttohavetriedonjacketsatabigshop。Ifearedmyvisitorswerenotonlydestitutebut"artistic"——whichwouldbeagreatcomplication。WhenshesatdownagainIthankedher,observingthatwhatadraughtsmanmostvaluedinhismodelwasthefacultyofkeepingquiet。
  "OhSHEcankeepquiet,"saidMajorMonarch。Thenheaddedjocosely:"I’vealwayskeptherquiet。"
  "I’mnotanastyfidget,amI?"Itwasgoingtowringtearsfromme,Ifelt,thewayshehidherhead,ostrich-like,intheotherbroadbosom。
  Theownerofthisexpanseaddressedhisanswertome。"Perhapsitisn’toutofplacetomention——becauseweoughttobequitebusiness-like,oughtn’twe?——thatwhenImarriedhershewasknownastheBeautifulStatue。"
  "Ohdear!"saidMrs。Monarchruefully。
  "OfcourseIshouldwantacertainamountofexpression,"I
  rejoined。
  "OfCOURSE!"——andIhadneverheardsuchunanimity。
  "AndthenIsupposeyouknowthatyou’llgetawfullytired。"
  "OhweNEVERgettired!"theyeagerlycried。
  "Haveyouhadanykindofpractice?"
  Theyhesitated——theylookedateachother。We’vebeenphotographed——IMMENSELY,"saidMrs。Monarch。
  "Shemeansthefellowshaveaskedusthemselves,"addedtheMajor。
  "Isee——becauseyou’resogood-looking。"
  "Idon’tknowwhattheythought,buttheywerealwaysafterus。"
  "Wealwaysgotourphotographsfornothing,"
  smiledMrs。Monarch。
  "Wemighthavebroughtsome,mydear,"herhusbandremarked。
  "I’mnotsurewehaveanyleft。We’vegivenquantitiesaway,"sheexplainedtome。
  "Withourautographsandthatsortofthing,"saidtheMajor。
  "Aretheytobegotintheshops?"Iinquiredasaharmlesspleasantry。
  "Ohyes,HERS——theyusedtobe。"
  "Notnow,"saidMrs。Monarchwithhereyesonthefloor。
  CHAPTERII
  Icouldfancythe"sortofthing"theyputonthepresentationcopiesoftheirphotographs,andIwassuretheywroteabeautifulhand。ItwasoddhowquicklyIwassureofeverythingthatconcernedthem。Iftheywerenowsopoorastohavetocamshillingsandpencetheycouldneverhavehadmuchofamargin。
  Theirgoodlookshadbeentheircapital,andtheyhadgood-
  humouredlymadethemostofthecareerthatthisresourcemarkedoutforthem。Itwasintheirfaces,theblankness,thedeepintellectualreposeofthetwentyyearsofcountry-housevisitingthathadgiventhempleasantintonations。Icouldseethesunnydrawing-rooms,sprinkledwithperiodicalsshedidn’tread,inwhichMrs。Monarchhadcontinuouslysat;Icouldseethewetshrubberiesinwhichshehadwalked,equippedtoadmirationforeitherexercise。IcouldseetherichcoverstheMajorhadhelpedtoshootandthewonderfulgarmentsinwhich,lateatnight,herepairedtothesmoking-roomtotalkaboutthem。Icouldimaginetheirleggingsandwaterproofs,theirknowingtweedsandrugs,theirrollsofsticksandcasesoftackleandneatumbrellas;andI
  couldevoketheexactappearanceoftheirservantsandthecompactvarietyoftheirluggageontheplatformsofcountrystations。
  Theygavesmalltips,buttheywereliked;theydidn’tdoanythingthemselves,buttheywerewelcome。Theylookedsowelleverywhere;
  theygratifiedthegeneralrelishforstature,complexionand"form。"Theyknewitwithoutfatuityorvulgarity,andtheyrespectedthemselvesinconsequence。Theyweren’tsuperficial:
  theywerethoroughandkeptthemselvesup——ithadbeentheirline。
  Peoplewithsuchatasteforactivityhadtohavesomeline。I
  couldfeelhoweveninadullhousetheycouldhavebeencountedonforthejoyoflife。Atpresentsomethinghadhappened——itdidn’tmatterwhat,theirlittleincomehadgrownless,ithadgrownleast——andtheyhadtodosomethingforpocket-money。Theirfriendscouldlikethem,Imadeout,withoutlikingtosupportthem。Therewassomethingaboutthemthatrepresentedcredit——
  theirclothes,theirmanners,theirtype;butifcreditisalargeemptypocketinwhichanoccasionalchinkreverberates,thechinkatleastmustbeaudible。Whattheywantedofmewashelptomakeitso。Fortunatelytheyhadnochildren——Isoondivinedthat。
  Theywouldalsoperhapswishourrelationstobekeptsecret:thiswaswhyitwas"forthefigure"——thereproductionofthefacewouldbetraythem。
  Ilikedthem——Ifelt,quiteastheirfriendsmusthavedone——theyweresosimple;andIhadnoobjectiontothemiftheywouldsuit。
  ButsomehowwithalltheirperfectionsIdidn’teasilybelieveinthem。Afteralltheywereamateurs,andtherulingpassionofmylifewas——thedetestationoftheamateur。Combinedwiththiswasanotherperversity——aninnatepreferencefortherepresentedsubjectovertherealone:thedefectoftherealonewassoapttobealackofrepresentation。Ilikedthingsthatappeared;thenonewassure。WhethertheyWEREornotwasasubordinateandalmostalwaysaprofitlessquestion。Therewereotherconsiderations,thefirstofwhichwasthatIalreadyhadtwoorthreerecruitsinuse,notablyayoungpersonwithbigfeet,inalpaca,fromKilburn,whoforacoupleofyearshadcometomeregularlyformyillustrationsandwithwhomIwasstill——perhapsignobly——satisfied。Ifranklyexplainedtomyvisitorshowthecasestood,buttheyhadtakenmoreprecautionsthanIsupposed。
  Theyhadreasonedouttheiropportunity,forClaudeRivethadtoldthemoftheprojectededitiondeluxeofoneofthewritersofourday——therarestofthenovelists——who,longneglectedbythemultitudinousvulgar,anddearlyprizedbytheattentive(needI
  mentionPhilipVincent?)hadhadthehappyfortuneofseeing,lateinlife,thedawnandthenthefulllightofahighercriticism;anestimateinwhichonthepartofthepublictherewassomethingreallyofexpiation。Theeditionpreparing,plannedbyapublisheroftaste,waspracticallyanactofhighreparation;thewoodcutswithwhichitwastobeenrichedwerethehomageofEnglisharttooneofthemostindependentrepresentativesofEnglishletters。
  MajorandMrs。MonarchconfessedtometheyhadhopedImightbeabletoworkTHEMintomybranchoftheenterprise。TheyknewI
  wastodothefirstofthebooks,RutlandRamsay,butIhadtomakecleartothemthatmyparticipationintherestoftheaffair——thisfirstbookwastobeatest——mustdependonthesatisfactionI
  shouldgive。Ifthisshouldbelimitedmyemployerswoulddropmewithscarcecommonforms。Itwasthereforeacrisisforme,andnaturallyIwasmakingspecialpreparations,lookingaboutfornewpeople,shouldtheybenecessary,andsecuringthebesttypes。I
  admittedhoweverthatIshouldliketosettledowntotwoorthreegoodmodelswhowoulddoforeverything。
  "Shouldwehaveoftento——a——putonspecialclothes?"Mrs。Monarchtimidlydemanded。
  "Dearyes——that’shalfthebusiness。"
  "Andshouldwebeexpectedtosupplyourowncostumes?
  "Ohno;I’vegotalotofthings。Apainter’smodelsputon——orputoff——anythinghelikes。"
  "Andyoumean——a——thesame?"
  "Thesame?"
  Mrs。Monarchlookedatherhusbandagain。
  "Ohshewasjustwondering,"heexplained,"ifthecostumesareinGENERALuse。"Ihadtoconfessthattheywere,andImentionedfurtherthatsomeofthem——Ihadalotof,genuinegreasylast-
  centurythings——hadservedtheirtime,ahundredyearsago,onlivingworld-stainedmenandwomen;onfiguresnotperhapssofarremoved,inthatvanishedworld,fromTHEIRtype,theMonarchs’,quoi!ofabreechedandbewiggedage。"We’llput,onanythingthatFITS,"saidtheMajor。
  "OhIarrangethat——theyfitinthepictures。"
  "I’mafraidIshoulddobetterforthemodernbooks。I’dcomeasyoulike,"saidMrs。Monarch。
  "Shehasgotalotofclothesathome:theymightdoforcontemporarylife,"herhusbandcontinued。
  "OhIcanfancyscenesinwhichyou’dbequitenatural。"AndindeedIcouldseetheslipshodre-arrangementsofstaleproperties——thestoriesItriedtoproducepicturesforwithouttheexasperationofreadingthem——whosesandytractsthegoodladymighthelptopeople。ButIhadtoreturntothefactthat——forthissortofwork——thedailymechanicalgrind——Iwasalreadyequipped:thepeopleIwasworkingwithworefullyadequate。
  "WeonlythoughtwemightbemorelikeSOMEcharacters,"saidMrs。
  Monarchmildly,gettingup。
  Herhusbandalsorose;hestoodlookingatmewithadimwistfulnessthatwastouchinginsofineaman。"Wouldn’titberatherapullsometimestohave——a——tohaven?"Hehungfire;hewantedmetohelphimbyphrasingwhathemeant。ButIcouldn’t——I
  didn’tknow。Sohebroughtitoutawkwardly:"TheREALthing;agentleman,youknow,oralady。"Iwasquitereadytogiveageneralassent——Iadmittedthattherewasagreatdealinthat。
  ThisencouragedMajorMonarchtosay,followinguphisappealwithanunactedgulp:"It’sawfullyhard——we’vetriedeverything。"Thegulpwascommunicative;itprovedtoomuchforhiswife。BeforeI
  knewitMrs。Monarchhaddroppedagainuponadivanandburstintotears。Herhusbandsatdownbesideher,holdingoneofherhands;
  whereuponshequicklydriedhereyeswiththeother,whileIfeltembarrassedasshelookedupatme。"Thereisn’taconfoundedjobIhaven’tappliedfor——waitedfor——prayedfor。Youcanfancywe’dbeprettybadfirst。Secretaryshipsandthatsortofthing?Youmightaswellaskforapeerage。I’dbeANYTHING——I’mstrong;amessengeroracoalheaver。I’dputonagold-lacedcapandopencarriage-doorsinfrontofthehaberdasher’s;I’dhangaboutastationtocarryportmanteaux;I’dbeapostman。Buttheywon’tLOOKatyou;therearethousandsasgoodasyourselfalreadyontheground。GENTLEMEN,poorbeggars,who’vedrunktheirwine,who’vekepttheirhunters!"
  IwasasreassuringasIknewhowtobe,andmyvisitorswerepresentlyontheirfeetagainwhile,fortheexperiment,weagreedonanhour。WewerediscussingitwhenthedooropenedandMissChurmcameinwithawetumbrella。MissChurmhadtotaketheomnibustoMaidaValeandthenwalkhalfamile。Shelookedatrifleblowsyandslightlysplashed。Iscarcelyeversawhercomeinwithoutthinkingafreshhowodditwasthat,beingsolittleinherself,sheshouldyetbesomuchinothers。ShewasameagrelittleMissChurm,butwassuchanampleheroineofromance。Shewasonlyafreckledcockney,butshecouldrepresenteverything,fromafineladytoashepherdess,shehadthefacultyasshemighthavehadafinevoiceorlonghair。Shecouldn’tspellandshelovedbeer,butshehadtwoorthree"points,"andpractice,andaknack,andmother-wit,andawhimsicalsensibility,andaloveofthetheatre,andsevensisters,——andnotanounceofrespect,especiallyfortheH。Thefirstthingmyvisitorssawwasthatherumbrellawaswet,andintheirspotlessperfectiontheyvisiblywincedatit。Therainhadcomeonsincetheirarrival。