首页 >出版文学> Daddy-Long-Legs>第4章

第4章

  IamtogivelessonsinEnglishandLatintotheyoungerdaughter,too,butIshallhavealittletimetomyself,andIshallbeearningfiftydollarsamonth!Doesn’tthatimpressyouasaperfectlyexorbitantamount?Sheofferedit;Ishouldhaveblushedtoaskformorethantwenty-five。
  IfinishatMagnolia(that’swhereshelives)thefirstofSeptember,andshallprobablyspendtheremainingthreeweeksatLockWillow——
  IshouldliketoseetheSemplesagainandallthefriendlyanimals。
  Howdoesmyprogrammestrikeyou,Daddy?
  Iamgettingquiteindependent,yousee。
  YouhaveputmeonmyfeetandIthinkIcanalmostwalkalonebynow。
  Princetoncommencementandourexaminationsexactlycoincide——
  whichisanawfulblow。SallieandIdidsowanttogetawayintimeforit,butofcoursethatisutterlyimpossible。
  Goodbye,Daddy。Haveanicesummerandcomebackintheautumnrestedandreadyforanotheryearofwork。(That’swhatyououghttobewritingtome!)Ihaven’tanyideawhatyoudointhesummer,orhowyouamuseyourself。Ican’tvisualizeyoursurroundings。
  Doyouplaygolforhuntorridehorsebackorjustsitinthesunandmeditate?
  Anyway,whateveritis,haveagoodtimeanddon’tforgetJudy。
  10thJuneDearDaddy,ThisisthehardestletterIeverwrote,butIhavedecidedwhatImustdo,andthereisn’tgoingtobeanyturningback。
  ItisverysweetandgenerousanddearofyoutowishtosendmetoEuropethissummer——forthemomentIwasintoxicatedbytheidea;
  butsobersecondthoughtssaidno。Itwouldberatherillogicalofmetorefusetotakeyourmoneyforcollege,andthenuseitinsteadjustforamusement!Youmustn’tgetmeusedtotoomanyluxuries。
  Onedoesn’tmisswhatonehasneverhad;butit’sawfullyhardgoingwithoutthingsafteronehascommencedthinkingtheyarehis——
  hers(Englishlanguageneedsanotherpronoun)bynaturalright。
  LivingwithSallieandJuliaisanawfulstrainonmystoicalphilosophy。
  Theyhavebothhadthingsfromthetimetheywerebabies;
  theyaccepthappinessasamatterofcourse。TheWorld,theythink,owesthemeverythingtheywant。MaybetheWorlddoes——inanycase,itseemstoacknowledgethedebtandpayup。Butasforme,itowesmenothing,anddistinctlytoldmesointhebeginning。
  Ihavenorighttoborrowoncredit,fortherewillcomeatimewhentheWorldwillrepudiatemyclaim。
  Iseemtobeflounderinginaseaofmetaphor——butIhopeyougraspmymeaning?Anyway,Ihaveaverystrongfeelingthattheonlyhonestthingformetodoistoteachthissummerandbegintosupportmyself。
  MAGNOLIA,FourdayslaterI’dgotjustthatmuchwritten,when——whatdoyouthinkhappened?
  ThemaidarrivedwithMasterJervie’scard。Heisgoingabroadtoothissummer;notwithJuliaandherfamily,butentirelybyhimselfItoldhimthatyouhadinvitedmetogowithaladywhoischaperoningapartyofgirls。Heknowsaboutyou,Daddy。Thatis,heknowsthatmyfatherandmotheraredead,andthatakindgentlemanissendingmetocollege;Isimplydidn’thavethecouragetotellhimabouttheJohnGrierHomeandalltherest。Hethinksthatyouaremyguardianandaperfectlylegitimateoldfamilyfriend。
  IhavenevertoldhimthatIdidn’tknowyou——thatwouldseemtooqueer!
  Anyway,heinsistedonmygoingtoEurope。HesaidthatitwasanecessarypartofmyeducationandthatImustn’tthinkofrefusing。Also,thathewouldbeinParisatthesametime,andthatwewouldrunawayfromthechaperonoccasionallyandhavedinnertogetheratnice,funny,foreignrestaurants。
  Well,Daddy,itdidappealtome!Ialmostweakened;ifhehadn’tbeensodictatorial,maybeIshouldhaveentirelyweakened。
  Icanbeenticedstepbystep,butIWON’Tbeforced。HesaidI
  wasasilly,foolish,irrational,quixotic,idiotic,stubbornchild(thoseareafewofhisabusiveadjectives;therestescapeme),andthatIdidn’tknowwhatwasgoodforme;Ioughttoletolderpeoplejudge。Wealmostquarrelled——Iamnotsurebutthatweentirelydid!
  Inanycase,Ipackedmytrunkfastandcameuphere。IthoughtI’dbetterseemybridgesinflamesbehindmebeforeIfinishedwritingtoyou。Theyareentirelyreducedtoashesnow。
  HereIamatCliffTop(thenameofMrs。Paterson’scottage)withmytrunkunpackedandFlorence(thelittleone)alreadystrugglingwithfirstdeclensionnouns。Anditbidsfairtobeastruggle!
  Sheisamostuncommonlyspoiledchild;Ishallhavetoteachherfirsthowtostudy——shehasneverinherlifeconcentratedonanythingmoredifficultthanice-creamsodawater。
  Weuseaquietcornerofthecliffsforaschoolroom——Mrs。Patersonwishesmetokeepthemoutofdoors——andIwillsaythatIfinditdifficulttoconcentratewiththeblueseabeforemeandshipsa-sailingby!
  AndwhenIthinkImightbeonone,sailingofftoforeignlands——
  butIWON’TletmyselfthinkofanythingbutLatinGrammar。
  Theprepositionsaorab,absque,coram,cum,deeorex,prae,pro,sine,tenus,in,subter,subandsupergoverntheablative。
  Soyousee,Daddy,Iamalreadyplungedintoworkwithmyeyespersistentlysetagainsttemptation。Don’tbecrosswithme,please,anddon’tthinkthatIdonotappreciateyourkindness,forIdo——always——always。TheonlywayIcaneverrepayyouisbyturningoutaVeryUsefulCitizen(Arewomencitizens?
  Idon’tsupposetheyare。)Anyway,aVeryUsefulPerson。Andwhenyoulookatmeyoucansay,`IgavethatVeryUsefulPersontotheworld。’
  Thatsoundswell,doesn’tit,Daddy?ButIdon’twishtomisleadyou。
  ThefeelingoftencomesovermethatIamnotatallremarkable;
  itisfuntoplanacareer,butinallprobabilityIshan’tturnoutabitdifferentfromanyotherordinaryperson。Imayendbymarryinganundertakerandbeinganinspirationtohiminhiswork。
  Yoursever,Judy19thAugustDearDaddy-Long-Legs,Mywindowlooksoutontheloveliestlandscape——ocean-scape,rather——
  nothingbutwaterandrocks。
  Thesummergoes。IspendthemorningwithLatinandEnglishandalgebraandmytwostupidgirls。Idon’tknowhowMarionisevergoingtogetintocollege,orstayinaftershegetsthere。
  AndasforFlorence,sheishopeless——butoh!suchalittlebeauty。
  Idon’tsupposeitmattersintheleastwhethertheyarestupidornotsolongastheyarepretty?Onecan’thelpthinking,though,howtheirconversationwillboretheirhusbands,unlesstheyarefortunateenoughtoobtainstupidhusbands。Isupposethat’squitepossible;theworldseemstobefilledwithstupidmen;
  I’vemetanumberthissummer。
  Intheafternoonwetakeawalkonthecliffs,orswim,ifthetideisright。Icanswiminsaltwaterwiththeutmosteaseyouseemyeducationisalreadybeingputtouse!
  AlettercomesfromMr。JervisPendletoninParis,ratherashortconciseletter;I’mnotquiteforgivenyetforrefusingtofollowhisadvice。However,ifhegetsbackintime,hewillseemeforafewdaysatLockWillowbeforecollegeopens,andifI
  amveryniceandsweetanddocile,Ishall(Iamledtoinfer)
  bereceivedintofavouragain。
  AlsoaletterfromSallie。ShewantsmetocometotheircampfortwoweeksinSeptember。MustIaskyourpermission,orhaven’tIyetarrivedattheplacewhereIcandoasIplease?Yes,IamsureIhave——I’maSenior,youknow。Havingworkedallsummer,Ifeelliketakingalittlehealthfulrecreation;IwanttoseetheAdirondacks;IwanttoseeSallie;IwanttoseeSallie’sbrother——
  he’sgoingtoteachmetocanoe——and(wecometomychiefmotive,whichismean)IwantMasterJervietoarriveatLockWillowandfindmenotthere。
  IMUSTshowhimthathecan’tdictatetome。Noonecandictatetomebutyou,Daddy——andyoucan’talways!I’moffforthewoods。
  JudyCAMPMCBRIDE,6thSeptemberDearDaddy,Yourletterdidn’tcomeintime(Iampleasedtosay)。Ifyouwishyourinstructionstobeobeyed,youmusthaveyoursecretarytransmittheminlessthantwoweeks。Asyouobserve,Iamhere,andhavebeenforfivedays。
  Thewoodsarefine,andsoisthecamp,andsoistheweather,andsoaretheMcBrides,andsoisthewholeworld。I’mveryhappy!
  There’sJimmiecallingformetocomecanoeing。Goodbye——sorrytohavedisobeyed,butwhyareyousopersistentaboutnotwantingmetoplayalittle?WhenI’veworkedallthesummerIdeservetwoweeks。Youareawfullydog-in-the-mangerish。
  However——Iloveyoustill,Daddy,inspiteofallyourfaults。
  Judy3rdOctoberDearDaddy-Long-Legs,BackatcollegeandaSenior——alsoeditoroftheMonthly。
  Itdoesn’tseempossible,doesit,thatsosophisticatedaperson,justfouryearsago,wasaninmateoftheJohnGrierHome?
  WedoarrivefastinAmerica!
  Whatdoyouthinkofthis?AnotefromMasterJerviedirectedtoLockWillowandforwardedhere。He’ssorry,buthefindsthathecan’tgetuptherethisautumn;hehasacceptedaninvitationtogoyachtingwithsomefriends。HopesI’vehadanicesummerandamenjoyingthecountry。
  AndheknewallthetimethatIwaswiththeMcBrides,forJuliatoldhimso!Youmenoughttoleaveintriguetowomen;youhaven’talightenoughtouch。
  Juliahasatrunkfulofthemostravishingnewclothes——aneveninggownofrainbowLibertycrepethatwouldbefittingraimentfortheangelsinParadise。AndIthoughtthatmyownclothesthisyearwereunprecedentedly(istheresuchaword?)beautiful。IcopiedMrs。Paterson’swardrobewiththeaidofacheapdressmaker,andthoughthegownsdidn’tturnoutquitetwinsoftheoriginals,IwasentirelyhappyuntilJuliaunpacked。Butnow——IlivetoseeParis!
  DearDaddy,aren’tyougladyou’renotagirl?Isupposeyouthinkthatthefusswemakeoverclothesistooabsolutelysilly?Itis。
  Nodoubtaboutit。Butit’sentirelyyourfault。
  DidyoueverhearaboutthelearnedHerrProfessorwhoregardedunnecessaryadornmentwithcontemptandfavouredsensible,utilitarianclothesforwomen?Hiswife,whowasanobligingcreature,adopted`dressreform。’Andwhatdoyouthinkhedid?
  Heelopedwithachorusgirl。
  Yoursever,JudyPS。Thechamber-maidinourcorridorwearsbluecheckedginghamaprons。
  Iamgoingtogethersomebrownonesinstead,andsinktheblueonesinthebottomofthelake。IhaveareminiscentchilleverytimeIlookatthem。
  17thNovemberDearDaddy-Long-Legs,Suchablighthasfallenovermyliterarycareer。Idon’tknowwhethertotellyouornot,butIwouldlikesomesympathy——
  silentsympathy,please;don’tre-openthewoundbyreferringtoitinyournextletter。
  I’vebeenwritingabook,alllastwinterintheevenings,andallthesummerwhenIwasn’tteachingLatintomytwostupidchildren。
  Ijustfinisheditbeforecollegeopenedandsentittoapublisher。
  Hekeptittwomonths,andIwascertainhewasgoingtotakeit;
  butyesterdaymorninganexpressparcelcame(thirtycentsdue)
  andthereitwasbackagainwithaletterfromthepublisher,averynice,fatherlyletter——butfrank!HesaidhesawfromtheaddressthatI
  wasstillatcollege,andifIwouldacceptsomeadvice,hewouldsuggestthatIputallofmyenergyintomylessonsandwaituntilI
  graduatedbeforebeginningtowrite。Heenclosedhisreader’sopinion。
  Hereitis:
  `Plothighlyimprobable。Characterizationexaggerated。
  Conversationunnatural。Agooddealofhumourbutnotalwaysinthebestoftaste。Tellhertokeepontrying,andintimeshemayproducearealbook。’
  Notonthewholeflattering,isit,Daddy?AndIthoughtIwasmakinganotableadditiontoAmericanliterature。Ididtruly。
  IwasplanningtosurpriseyoubywritingagreatnovelbeforeIgraduated。IcollectedthematerialforitwhileIwasatJulia’slastChristmas。ButIdaresaytheeditorisright。
  Probablytwoweekswasnotenoughinwhichtoobservethemannersandcustomsofagreatcity。
  Itookitwalkingwithmeyesterdayafternoon,andwhenIcametothegashouse,IwentinandaskedtheengineerifImightborrowhisfurnace。Hepolitelyopenedthedoor,andwithmyownhandsIchuckeditin。IfeltasthoughIhadcrematedmyonlychild!
  Iwenttobedlastnightutterlydejected;IthoughtIwasnevergoingtoamounttoanything,andthatyouhadthrownawayyourmoneyfornothing。Butwhatdoyouthink?Iwokeupthismorningwithabeautifulnewplotinmyhead,andI’vebeengoingaboutalldayplanningmycharacters,justashappyasIcouldbe。
  Noonecaneveraccusemeofbeingapessimist!IfIhadahusbandandtwelvechildrenswallowedbyanearthquakeoneday,I’dbobupsmilinglythenextmorningandcommencetolookforanotherset。
  Affectionately,Judy14thDecemberDearDaddy-Long-Legs,Idreamedthefunniestdreamlastnight。IthoughtIwentintoabookstoreandtheclerkbroughtmeanewbooknamedTheLifeandLettersofJudyAbbott。Icouldseeitperfectlyplainly——
  redclothbindingwithapictureoftheJohnGrierHomeonthecover,andmyportraitforafrontispiecewith,`Verytrulyyours,JudyAbbott,’
  writtenbelow。ButjustasIwasturningtotheendtoreadtheinscriptiononmytombstone,Iwokeup。Itwasveryannoying!
  IalmostfoundoutwhomI’mgoingtomarryandwhenI’mgoingtodie。
  Don’tyouthinkitwouldbeinterestingifyoureallycouldreadthestoryofyourlife——writtenperfectlytruthfullybyanomniscientauthor?
  Andsupposeyoucouldonlyreaditonthiscondition:thatyouwouldneverforgetit,butwouldhavetogothroughlifeknowingaheadoftimeexactlyhoweverythingyoudidwouldturnout,andforeseeingtotheexacthourthetimewhenyouwoulddie。
  Howmanypeopledoyousupposewouldhavethecouragetoreaditthen?orhowmanycouldsuppresstheircuriositysufficientlytoescapefromreadingit,evenatthepriceofhavingtolivewithouthopeandwithoutsurprises?
  Lifeismonotonousenoughatbest;youhavetoeatandsleepaboutsooften。ButimaginehowDEADLYmonotonousitwouldbeifnothingunexpectedcouldhappenbetweenmeals。Mercy!Daddy,there’sablot,butI’monthethirdpageandIcan’tbeginanewsheet。
  I’mgoingonwithbiologyagainthisyear——veryinterestingsubject;
  we’restudyingthealimentarysystematpresent。Youshouldseehowsweetacross-sectionoftheduodenumofacatisunderthemicroscope。
  Alsowe’vearrivedatphilosophy——interestingbutevanescent。Ipreferbiologywhereyoucanpinthesubjectunderdiscussiontoaboard。
  There’sanother!Andanother!Thispenisweepingcopiously。
  Pleaseexcuseitstears。
  Doyoubelieveinfreewill?Ido——unreservedly。Idon’tagreeatallwiththephilosopherswhothinkthateveryactionistheabsolutelyinevitableandautomaticresultantofanaggregationofremotecauses。That’sthemostimmoraldoctrineIeverheard——
  nobodywouldbetoblameforanything。Ifamanbelievedinfatalism,hewouldnaturallyjustsitdownandsay,`TheLord’swillbedone,’
  andcontinuetosituntilhefelloverdead。
  Ibelieveabsolutelyinmyownfreewillandmyownpowertoaccomplish——
  andthatisthebeliefthatmovesmountains。Youwatchmebecomeagreatauthor!Ihavefourchaptersofmynewbookfinishedandfivemoredrafted。
  Thisisaveryabstruseletter——doesyourheadache,Daddy?
  Ithinkwe’llstopnowandmakesomefudge。I’msorryIcan’tsendyouapiece;itwillbeunusuallygood,forwe’regoingtomakeitwithrealcreamandthreebutterballs。
  Yoursaffectionately,JudyPS。We’rehavingfancydancingingymnasiumclass。Youcanseebytheaccompanyingpicturehowmuchwelooklikearealballet。
  Theoneattheendaccomplishingagracefulpirouetteisme——ImeanI。
  26thDecemberMyDear,Dear,Daddy,Haven’tyouanysense?Don’tyouKNOWthatyoumustn’tgiveonegirlseventeenChristmaspresents?I’maSocialist,pleaseremember;
  doyouwishtoturnmeintoaPlutocrat?
  Thinkhowembarrassingitwouldbeifweshouldeverquarrel!
  Ishouldhavetoengageamoving-vantoreturnyourgifts。
  IamsorrythatthenecktieIsentwassowobbly;Iknititwithmyownhands(asyoudoubtlessdiscoveredfrominternalevidence)。
  Youwillhavetowearitoncolddaysandkeepyourcoatbuttoneduptight。
  Thankyou,Daddy,athousandtimes。Ithinkyou’rethesweetestmanthateverlived——andthefoolishest!
  JudyHere’safour-leafcloverfromCampMcBridetobringyougoodluckfortheNewYear。
  9thJanuaryDoyouwishtodosomething,Daddy,thatwillensureyoureternalsalvation?Thereisafamilyherewhoareinawfullydesperatestraits。Amotherandfatherandfourvisiblechildren——
  thetwoolderboyshavedisappearedintotheworldtomaketheirfortuneandhavenotsentanyofitback。Thefatherworkedinaglassfactoryandgotconsumption——it’sawfullyunhealthywork——
  andnowhasbeensentawaytoahospital。Thattookalltheirsavings,andthesupportofthefamilyfallsupontheoldestdaughter,whoistwenty-four。Shedressmakesfor$1。50aday(whenshecangetit)andembroiderscentrepiecesintheevening。Themotherisn’tverystrongandisextremelyineffectualandpious。
  Shesitswithherhandsfolded,apictureofpatientresignation,whilethedaughterkillsherselfwithoverworkandresponsibilityandworry;shedoesn’tseehowtheyaregoingtogetthroughtherestofthewinter——andIdon’teither。Onehundreddollarswouldbuysomecoalandsomeshoesforthreechildrensothattheycouldgotoschool,andgivealittlemarginsothatsheneedn’tworryherselftodeathwhenafewdayspassandshedoesn’tgetwork。
  YouaretherichestmanIknow。Don’tyousupposeyoucouldspareonehundreddollars?ThatgirldeserveshelpalotmorethanI
  everdid。Iwouldn’taskitexceptforthegirl;Idon’tcaremuchwhathappenstothemother——sheissuchajelly-fish。
  Thewaypeopleareforeverrollingtheireyestoheavenandsaying,`Perhapsit’sallforthebest,’whentheyareperfectlydeadsureit’snot,makesmeenraged。Humilityorresignationorwhateveryouchoosetocallit,issimplyimpotentinertia。I’mforamoremilitantreligion!
  Wearegettingthemostdreadfullessonsinphilosophy——allofSchopenhauerfortomorrow。Theprofessordoesn’tseemtorealizethatwearetakinganyothersubject。He’saqueeroldduck;
  hegoesaboutwithhisheadinthecloudsandblinksdazedlywhenoccasionallyhestrikessolidearth。Hetriestolightenhislectureswithanoccasionalwitticism——andwedoourbesttosmile,butIassureyouhisjokesarenolaughingmatter。
  Hespendshisentiretimebetweenclassesintryingtofigureoutwhethermatterreallyexistsorwhetherheonlythinksitexists。
  I’msuremysewinggirlhasn’tanydoubtbutthatitexists!
  Wheredoyouthinkmynewnovelis?Inthewaste-basket。Icanseemyselfthatit’snogoodonearth,andwhenalovingauthorrealizesthat,whatWOULDbethejudgmentofacriticalpublic?
  LaterIaddressyou,Daddy,fromabedofpain。FortwodaysI’vebeenlaidupwithswollentonsils;Icanjustswallowhotmilk,andthatisall。`Whatwereyourparentsthinkingofnottohavethosetonsilsoutwhenyouwereababy?’thedoctorwishedtoknow。
  I’msureIhaven’tanidea,butIdoubtiftheywerethinkingmuchaboutme。
  Yours,J。A。
  NextmorningIjustreadthisoverbeforesealingit。Idon’tknowWHYIcastsuchamistyatmosphereoverlife。IhastentoassureyouthatI
  amyoungandhappyandexuberant;andItrustyouarethesame。
  Youthhasnothingtodowithbirthdays,onlywithALIVEDNESSofspirit,soevenifyourhairisgrey,Daddy,youcanstillbeaboy。
  Affectionately,Judy12thJan。
  DearMr。Philanthropist,Yourchequeformyfamilycameyesterday。Thankyousomuch!
  Icutgymnasiumandtookitdowntothemrightafterluncheon,andyoushouldhaveseenthegirl’sface!Shewassosurprisedandhappyandrelievedthatshelookedalmostyoung;andshe’sonlytwenty-four。Isn’titpitiful?
  Anyway,shefeelsnowasthoughallthegoodthingswerecomingtogether。
  Shehassteadyworkaheadfortwomonths——someone’sgettingmarried,andthere’satrousseautomake。
  `ThankthegoodLord!’criedthemother,whenshegraspedthefactthatthatsmallpieceofpaperwasonehundreddollars。
  `Itwasn’tthegoodLordatall,’saidI,`itwasDaddy-Long-Legs。’
  (Mr。Smith,Icalledyou。)
  `ButitwasthegoodLordwhoputitinhismind,’saidshe。
  `Notatall!Iputitinhismindmyself,’saidI。
  Butanyway,Daddy,ItrustthegoodLordwillrewardyousuitably。
  Youdeservetenthousandyearsoutofpurgatory。
  Yoursmostgratefully,JudyAbbott15thFeb。
  MayitpleaseYourMostExcellentMajesty:
  ThismorningIdideatmybreakfastuponacoldturkeypieandagoose,andIdidsendforacupoftee(achinadrink)
  ofwhichIhadneverdrankbefore。
  Don’tbenervous,Daddy——Ihaven’tlostmymind;I’mmerelyquotingSam’lPepys。We’rereadinghiminconnectionwithEnglishHistory,originalsources。SallieandJuliaandIconversenowinthelanguageof1660。Listentothis:
  `IwenttoCharingCrosstoseeMajorHarrisonhanged,drawnandquartered:helookingascheerfulasanymancoulddointhatcondition。’Andthis:`Dinedwithmyladywhoisinhandsomemourningforherbrotherwhodiedyesterdayofspottedfever。’
  Seemsalittleearlytocommenceentertaining,doesn’tit?AfriendofPepysdevisedaverycunningmannerwherebythekingmightpayhisdebtsoutofthesaletopoorpeopleofolddecayedprovisions。
  Whatdoyou,areformer,thinkofthat?Idon’tbelievewe’resobadtodayasthenewspapersmakeout。
  Samuelwasasexcitedabouthisclothesasanygirl;hespentfivetimesasmuchondressashiswife——thatappearstohavebeentheGoldenAgeofhusbands。Isn’tthisatouchingentry?
  Youseehereallywashonest。`TodaycamehomemyfineCamlettcloakwithgoldbuttons,whichcostmemuchmoney,andIprayGodtomakemeabletopayforit。’
  ExcusemeforbeingsofullofPepys;I’mwritingaspecialtopiconhim。
  Whatdoyouthink,Daddy?TheSelf-GovernmentAssociationhasabolishedtheteno’clockrule。Wecankeepourlightsallnightifwechoose,theonlyrequirementbeingthatwedonotdisturbothers——
  wearenotsupposedtoentertainonalargescale。Theresultisabeautifulcommentaryonhumannature。Nowthatwemaystayupaslongaswechoose,wenolongerchoose。Ourheadsbegintonodatnineo’clock,andbynine-thirtythependropsfromournervelessgrasp。
  It’snine-thirtynow。Goodnight。
  SundayJustbackfromchurch——preacherfromGeorgia。Wemusttakecare,hesays,nottodevelopourintellectsattheexpenseofouremotionalnatures——
  butmethoughtitwasapoor,drysermon(Pepysagain)。Itdoesn’tmatterwhatpartoftheUnitedStatesorCanadatheycomefrom,orwhatdenominationtheyare,wealwaysgetthesamesermon。
  Whyonearthdon’ttheygotomen’scollegesandurgethestudentsnottoallowtheirmanlynaturestobecrushedoutbytoomuchmentalapplication?
  It’sabeautifulday——frozenandicyandclear。Assoonasdinnerisover,SallieandJuliaandMartyKeeneandEleanorPratt(friendsofmine,butyoudon’tknowthem)andIaregoingtoputonshortskirtsandwalk’crosscountrytoCrystalSpringFarmandhaveafriedchickenandwafflesupper,andthenhaveMr。CrystalSpringdriveushomeinhisbuckboard。Wearesupposedtobeinsidethecampusatseven,butwearegoingtostretchapointtonightandmakeiteight。
  Farewell,kindSir。
  Ihavethehonourofsubscribingmyself,Yourmostloyall,dutifull,faithfullandobedientservant,J。AbbottMarchFifthDearMr。Trustee,TomorrowisthefirstWednesdayinthemonth——awearydayfortheJohnGrierHome。Howrelievedthey’llbewhenfiveo’clockcomesandyoupatthemontheheadandtakeyourselvesoff!Didyou(individually)everpatmeonthehead,Daddy?Idon’tbelieveso——
  mymemoryseemstobeconcernedonlywithfatTrustees。
  GivetheHomemylove,please——myTRULYlove。IhavequiteafeelingoftendernessforitasIlookbackthroughahazeoffouryears。
  WhenIfirstcametocollegeIfeltquiteresentfulbecauseI’dbeenrobbedofthenormalkindofchildhoodthattheothergirlshadhad;butnow,Idon’tfeelthatwayintheleast。Iregarditasaveryunusualadventure。Itgivesmeasortofvantagepointfromwhichtostandasideandlookatlife。Emergingfullgrown,Igetaperspectiveontheworld,thatotherpeoplewhohavebeenbroughtupinthethickofthingsentirelylack。
  Iknowlotsofgirls(Julia,forinstance)whoneverknowthattheyarehappy。Theyaresoaccustomedtothefeelingthattheirsensesaredeadenedtoit;butasforme——IamperfectlysureeverymomentofmylifethatIamhappy。AndI’mgoingtokeeponbeing,nomatterwhatunpleasantthingsturnup。I’mgoingtoregardthem(eventoothaches)asinterestingexperiences,andbegladtoknowwhattheyfeellike。`Whateversky’saboveme,I’veaheartforanyfate。’
  However,Daddy,don’ttakethisnewaffectionfortheJ。G。H。
  tooliterally。IfIhavefivechildren,likeRousseau,Ishan’tleavethemonthestepsofafoundlingasyluminordertoinsuretheirbeingbroughtupsimply。
  GivemykindestregardstoMrs。Lippett(that,Ithink,istruthful;
  lovewouldbealittlestrong)anddon’tforgettotellherwhatabeautifulnatureI’vedeveloped。
  Affectionately,JudyLOCKWILLOW,4thAprilDearDaddy,Doyouobservethepostmark?SallieandIareembellishingLockWillowwithourpresenceduringtheEasterVacation。
  Wedecidedthatthebestthingwecoulddowithourtendayswastocomewhereitisquiet。Ournerveshadgottothepointwheretheywouldn’tstandanothermealinFergussen。Dininginaroomwithfourhundredgirlsisanordealwhenyouaretired。
  Thereissomuchnoisethatyoucan’thearthegirlsacrossthetablespeakunlesstheymaketheirhandsintoamegaphoneandshout。
  Thatisthetruth。
  Wearetrampingoverthehillsandreadingandwriting,andhavinganice,restfultime。Weclimbedtothetopof`SkyHill’
  thismorningwhereMasterJervieandIoncecookedsupper——
  itdoesn’tseempossiblethatitwasnearlytwoyearsago。Icouldstillseetheplacewherethesmokeofourfireblackenedtherock。
  Itisfunnyhowcertainplacesgetconnectedwithcertainpeople,andyounevergobackwithoutthinkingofthem。Iwasquitelonelywithouthim——fortwominutes。
  Whatdoyouthinkismylatestactivity,Daddy?YouwillbegintobelievethatIamincorrigible——Iamwritingabook。Istarteditthreeweeksagoandameatingitupinchunks。I’vecaughtthesecret。
  MasterJervieandthateditormanwereright;youaremostconvincingwhenyouwriteaboutthethingsyouknow。AndthistimeitisaboutsomethingthatIdoknow——exhaustively。Guesswhereit’slaid?
  IntheJohnGrierHome!Andit’sgood,Daddy,Iactuallybelieveitis——justaboutthetinylittlethingsthathappenedeveryday。
  I’marealistnow。I’veabandonedromanticism;Ishallgobacktoitlaterthough,whenmyownadventurousfuturebegins。
  Thisnewbookisgoingtogetitselffinished——andpublished!
  Youseeifitdoesn’t。Ifyoujustwantathinghardenoughandkeepontrying,youdogetitintheend。I’vebeentryingforfouryearstogetaletterfromyou——andIhaven’tgivenuphopeyet。
  Goodbye,Daddydear,(IliketocallyouDaddydear;it’ssoalliterative。)
  Affectionately,JudyPS。Iforgottotellyouthefarmnews,butit’sverydistressing。
  Skipthispostscriptifyoudon’twantyoursensibilitiesallwroughtup。
  PooroldGroveisdead。Hegotsothathecouldn’tchewandtheyhadtoshoothim。
  Ninechickenswerekilledbyaweaseloraskunkoraratlastweek。
  Oneofthecowsissick,andwehadtohavetheveterinarysurgeonoutfromBonnyriggFourCorners。Amasaistayedupallnighttogiveherlinseedoilandwhisky。Butwehaveanawfulsuspicionthatthepoorsickcowgotnothingbutlinseedoil。
  SentimentalTommy(thetortoise-shellcat)hasdisappeared;
  weareafraidhehasbeencaughtinatrap。
  Therearelotsoftroublesintheworld!
  17thMayDearDaddy-Long-Legs,Thisisgoingtobeextremelyshortbecausemyshoulderachesatthesightofapen。Lecturenotesallday,immortalnovelallevening,maketoomuchwriting。
  CommencementthreeweeksfromnextWednesday。Ithinkyoumightcomeandmakemyacquaintance——Ishallhateyouifyoudon’t!Julia’sinvitingMasterJervie,hebeingherfamily,andSallie’sinvitingJimmieMcB。,hebeingherfamily,butwhoisthereformetoinvite?
  JustyouandLippett,andIdon’twanther。Pleasecome。
  Yours,withloveandwriter’scramp。
  JudyLOCKWILLOW,19thJuneDearDaddy-Long-Legs,I’meducated!Mydiplomaisinthebottombureaudrawerwithmytwobestdresses。Commencementwasasusual,withafewshowersatvitalmoments。Thankyouforyourrosebuds。Theywerelovely。
  MasterJervieandMasterJimmiebothgavemeroses,too,butIlefttheirsinthebathtubandcarriedyoursintheclassprocession。
  HereIamatLockWillowforthesummer——forevermaybe。Theboardischeap;thesurroundingsquietandconducivetoaliterarylife。
  Whatmoredoesastrugglingauthorwish?Iammadaboutmybook。
  Ithinkofiteverywakingmoment,anddreamofitatnight。AllI
  wantispeaceandquietandlotsoftimetowork(interspersedwithnourishingmeals)。
  MasterJervieiscomingupforaweekorsoinAugust,andJimmieMcBrideisgoingtodropinsometimethroughthesummer。
  He’sconnectedwithabondhousenow,andgoesaboutthecountrysellingbondstobanks。He’sgoingtocombinethe`Farmers’National’
  attheCornersandmeonthesametrip。
  YouseethatLockWillowisn’tentirelylackinginsociety。
  I’dbeexpectingtohaveyoucomemotoringthrough——onlyIknownowthatthatishopeless。Whenyouwouldn’tcometomycommencement,Itoreyoufrommyheartandburiedyouforever。
  JudyAbbott,A。B。
  24thJulyDearestDaddy-Long-Legs,Isn’titfuntowork——ordon’tyoueverdoit?It’sespeciallyfunwhenyourkindofworkisthethingyou’dratherdomorethananythingelseintheworld。I’vebeenwritingasfastasmypenwouldgoeverydaythissummer,andmyonlyquarrelwithlifeisthatthedaysaren’tlongenoughtowriteallthebeautifulandvaluableandentertainingthoughtsI’mthinking。
  I’vefinishedtheseconddraftofmybookandamgoingtobeginthethirdtomorrowmorningathalf-pastseven。It’sthesweetestbookyoueversaw——itis,truly。Ithinkofnothingelse。
  Icanbarelywaitinthemorningtodressandeatbeforebeginning;
  thenIwriteandwriteandwritetillsuddenlyI’msotiredthatI’mlimpallover。ThenIgooutwithColin(thenewsheepdog)andrompthroughthefieldsandgetafreshsupplyofideasforthenextday。
  It’sthemostbeautifulbookyoueversaw——Oh,pardon——Isaidthatbefore。
  Youdon’tthinkmeconceited,doyou,Daddydear?
  I’mnot,really,onlyjustnowI’mintheenthusiasticstage。
  MaybelateronI’llgetcoldandcriticalandsniffy。No,I’msureIwon’t!ThistimeI’vewrittenarealbook。Justwaittillyouseeit。
  I’lltryforaminutetotalkaboutsomethingelse。Inevertoldyou,didI,thatAmasaiandCarriegotmarriedlastMay?Theyarestillworkinghere,butsofarasIcanseeithasspoiledthemboth。
  Sheusedtolaughwhenhetrampedinmudordroppedashesonthefloor,butnow——youshouldhearherscold!Andshedoesn’tcurlherhairanylonger。Amasai,whousedtobesoobligingaboutbeatingrugsandcarryingwood,grumblesifyousuggestsuchathing。
  Alsohisnecktiesarequitedingy——blackandbrown,wheretheyusedtobescarletandpurple。I’vedeterminednevertomarry。
  It’sadeterioratingprocess,evidently。
  Thereisn’tmuchofanyfarmnews。Theanimalsareallinthebestofhealth。Thepigsareunusuallyfat,thecowsseemcontentedandthehensarelayingwell。Areyouinterestedinpoultry?
  Ifso,letmerecommendthatinvaluablelittlework,200EggsperHenperYear。Iamthinkingofstartinganincubatornextspringandraisingbroilers。YouseeI’msettledatLockWillowpermanently。
  IhavedecidedtostayuntilI’vewritten114novelslikeAnthonyTrollope’smother。ThenIshallhavecompletedmylifeworkandcanretireandtravel。
  Mr。JamesMcBridespentlastSundaywithus。Friedchickenandice-creamfordinner,bothofwhichheappearedtoappreciate。Iwasawfullygladtoseehim;hebroughtamomentaryreminderthattheworldatlargeexists。PoorJimmieishavingahardtimepeddlinghisbonds。
  The`Farmers’National’attheCornerswouldn’thaveanythingtodowiththeminspiteofthefactthattheypaysixpercent。
  interestandsometimesseven。Ithinkhe’llendupbygoinghometoWorcesterandtakingajobinhisfather’sfactory。He’stooopenandconfidingandkind-heartedevertomakeasuccessfulfinancier。
  Buttobethemanagerofaflourishingoverallfactoryisaverydesirableposition,don’tyouthink?Justnowheturnsuphisnoseatoveralls,buthe’llcometothem。
  Ihopeyouappreciatethefactthatthisisalongletterfromapersonwithwriter’scramp。ButIstillloveyou,Daddydear,andI’mveryhappy。Withbeautifulsceneryallabout,andlotstoeatandacomfortablefour-postbedandareamofblankpaperandapintofink——whatmoredoesonewantintheworld?
  Yoursasalways,JudyPS。Thepostmanarriveswithsomemorenews。WearetoexpectMasterJervieonFridaynexttospendaweek。That’saverypleasantprospect——onlyIamafraidmypoorbookwillsuffer。
  MasterJervieisverydemanding。
  27thAugustDearDaddy-Long-Legs,Whereareyou,Iwonder?
  Ineverknowwhatpartoftheworldyouarein,butIhopeyou’renotinNewYorkduringthisawfulweather。Ihopeyou’reonamountainpeak(butnotinSwitzerland;somewherenearer)lookingatthesnowandthinkingaboutme。Pleasebethinkingaboutme。
  I’mquitelonelyandIwanttobethoughtabout。Oh,Daddy,IwishIknewyou!Thenwhenwewereunhappywecouldcheereachotherup。
  Idon’tthinkIcanstandmuchmoreofLockWillow。I’mthinkingofmoving。SallieisgoingtodosettlementworkinBostonnextwinter。Don’tyouthinkitwouldbeniceformetogowithher,thenwecouldhaveastudiotogether?IwouldwritewhilesheSETTLEDandwecouldbetogetherintheevenings。Eveningsareverylongwhenthere’snoonebuttheSemplesandCarrieandAmasaitotalkto。Iknowinadvancethatyouwon’tlikemystudioidea。
  Icanreadyoursecretary’sletternow:
  `MissJerushaAbbott。
  `DEARMADAM,`Mr。SmithprefersthatyouremainatLockWillow。
  `Yourstruly,`ELMERH。GRIGGS。’
  Ihateyoursecretary。IamcertainthatamannamedElmerH。
  Griggsmustbehorrid。Buttruly,Daddy,IthinkIshallhavetogotoBoston。Ican’tstayhere。Ifsomethingdoesn’thappensoon,Ishallthrowmyselfintothesilopitoutofsheerdesperation。
  Mercy!butit’shot。Allthegrassisburntupandthebrooksaredryandtheroadsaredusty。Ithasn’trainedforweeksandweeks。
  ThislettersoundsasthoughIhadhydrophobia,butIhaven’t。I
  justwantsomefamily。
  Goodbye,mydearestDaddy。
  IwishIknewyou。
  JudyLOCKWILLOW,19thSeptemberDearDaddy,SomethinghashappenedandIneedadvice。Ineeditfromyou,andfromnobodyelseintheworld。Wouldn’titbepossibleformetoseeyou?It’ssomucheasiertotalkthantowrite;andI’mafraidyoursecretarymightopentheletter。
  JudyPS。I’mveryunhappy。
  LOCKWILLOW,3rdOctoberDearDaddy-Long-Legs,Yournotewritteninyourownhand——andaprettywobblyhand!——
  camethismorning。Iamsosorrythatyouhavebeenill;Iwouldn’thavebotheredyouwithmyaffairsifIhadknown。Yes,Iwilltellyouthetrouble,butit’ssortofcomplicatedtowrite,andVERYPRIVATE。
  Pleasedon’tkeepthisletter,butburnit。
  BeforeIbegin——here’sachequeforonethousanddollars。
  Itseemsfunny,doesn’tit,formetobesendingachequetoyou?
  WheredoyouthinkIgotit?
  I’vesoldmystory,Daddy。It’sgoingtobepublishedseriallyinsevenparts,andtheninabook!YoumightthinkI’dbewildwithjoy,butI’mnot。I’mentirelyapathetic。OfcourseI’mgladtobeginpayingyou——Ioweyouovertwothousandmore。It’scomingininstalments。Nowdon’tbehorrid,please,abouttakingit,becauseitmakesmehappytoreturnit。Ioweyouagreatdealmorethanthemeremoney,andtherestIwillcontinuetopayallmylifeingratitudeandaffection。
  Andnow,Daddy,abouttheotherthing;pleasegivemeyourmostworldlyadvice,whetheryouthinkI’lllikeitornot。
  YouknowthatI’vealwayshadaveryspecialfeelingtowardsyou;
  yousortofrepresentedmywholefamily;butyouwon’tmind,willyou,ifItellyouthatIhaveaverymuchmorespecialfeelingforanotherman?Youcanprobablyguesswithoutmuchtroublewhoheis。
  IsuspectthatmylettershavebeenveryfullofMasterJervieforaverylongtime。
  IwishIcouldmakeyouunderstandwhatheislikeandhowentirelycompanionableweare。Wethinkthesameabouteverything——
  IamafraidIhaveatendencytomakeovermyideastomatchhis!
  Butheisalmostalwaysright;heoughttobe,youknow,forhehasfourteenyears’startofme。Inotherways,though,he’sjustanovergrownboy,andhedoesneedlookingafter——
  hehasn’tanysenseaboutwearingrubberswhenitrains。HeandI
  alwaysthinkthesamethingsarefunny,andthatissuchalot;
  it’sdreadfulwhentwopeople’ssensesofhumourareantagonistic。
  Idon’tbelievethere’sanybridgingthatgulf!
  Andheis——Oh,well!Heisjusthimself,andImisshim,andmisshim,andmisshim。Thewholeworldseemsemptyandaching。Ihatethemoonlightbecauseit’sbeautifulandheisn’theretoseeitwithme。
  Butmaybeyou’velovedsomebody,too,andyouknow?Ifyouhave,Idon’tneedtoexplain;ifyouhaven’t,Ican’texplain。
  Anyway,that’sthewayIfeel——andI’verefusedtomarryhim。
  Ididn’ttellhimwhy;Iwasjustdumbandmiserable。Icouldn’tthinkofanythingtosay。AndnowhehasgoneawayimaginingthatIwanttomarryJimmieMcBride——Idon’tintheleast,Iwouldn’tthinkofmarryingJimmie;heisn’tgrownupenough。
  ButMasterJervieandIgotintoadreadfulmuddleofmisunderstandingandwebothhurteachother’sfeelings。ThereasonIsenthimawaywasnotbecauseIdidn’tcareforhim,butbecauseIcaredforhimsomuch。Iwasafraidhewouldregretitinthefuture——
  andIcouldn’tstandthat!Itdidn’tseemrightforapersonofmylackofantecedentstomarryintoanysuchfamilyashis。
  Inevertoldhimabouttheorphanasylum,andIhatedtoexplainthatIdidn’tknowwhoIwas。ImaybeDREADFUL,youknow。
  Andhisfamilyareproud——andI’mproud,too!
  Also,Ifeltsortofboundtoyou。Afterhavingbeeneducatedtobeawriter,Imustatleasttrytobeone;itwouldscarcelybefairtoacceptyoureducationandthengooffandnotuseit。
  ButnowthatIamgoingtobeabletopaybackthemoney,IfeelthatIhavepartiallydischargedthatdebt——besides,IsupposeIcouldkeeponbeingawriterevenifIdidmarry。Thetwoprofessionsarenotnecessarilyexclusive。
  I’vebeenthinkingveryhardaboutit。OfcourseheisaSocialist,andhehasunconventionalideas;maybehewouldn’tmindmarryingintotheproletariatsomuchassomemenmight。Perhapswhentwopeopleareexactlyinaccord,andalwayshappywhentogetherandlonelywhenapart,theyoughtnottoletanythingintheworldstandbetweenthem。
  OfcourseIWANTtobelievethat!ButI’dliketogetyourunemotionalopinion。YouprobablybelongtoaFamilyalso,andwilllookatitfromaworldlypointofviewandnotjustasympathetic,humanpointofview——soyouseehowbraveIamtolayitbeforeyou。
  SupposeIgotohimandexplainthatthetroubleisn’tJimmie,butistheJohnGrierHome——wouldthatbeadreadfulthingformetodo?Itwouldtakeagreatdealofcourage。I’dalmostratherbemiserablefortherestofmylife。
  Thishappenednearlytwomonthsago;Ihaven’theardawordfromhimsincehewashere。Iwasjustgettingsortofacclimatedtothefeelingofabrokenheart,whenalettercamefromJuliathatstirredmeallupagain。Shesaid——verycasually——that`UncleJervis’
  hadbeencaughtoutallnightinastormwhenhewashuntinginCanada,andhadbeenilleversincewithpneumonia。AndIneverknewit。
  Iwasfeelinghurtbecausehehadjustdisappearedintoblanknesswithoutaword。Ithinkhe’sprettyunhappy,andIknowIam!
  Whatseemstoyoutherightthingformetodo?
  Judy6thOctoberDearestDaddy-Long-Legs,Yes,certainlyI’llcome——athalf-pastfournextWednesdayafternoon。
  OfCOURSEIcanfindtheway。I’vebeeninNewYorkthreetimesandamnotquiteababy。Ican’tbelievethatIamreallygoingtoseeyou——
  I’vebeenjustTHINKINGyousolongthatithardlyseemsasthoughyouareatangibleflesh-and-bloodperson。
  Youareawfullygood,Daddy,tobotheryourselfwithme,whenyou’renotstrong。Takecareanddon’tcatchcold。Thesefallrainsareverydamp。
  Affectionately,JudyPS。I’vejusthadanawfulthought。Haveyouabutler?I’mafraidofbutlers,andifoneopensthedoorIshallfaintuponthestep。
  WhatcanIsaytohim?Youdidn’ttellmeyourname。ShallIaskforMr。Smith?
  ThursdayMorningMyVeryDearestMaster-Jervie-Daddy-Long-LegsPendleton-Smith,Didyousleeplastnight?Ididn’t。Notasinglewink。Iwastooamazedandexcitedandbewilderedandhappy。Idon’tbelieveIevershallsleepagain——oreateither。ButIhopeyouslept;
  youmust,youknow,becausethenyouwillgetwellfasterandcancometome。
  DearMan,Ican’tbeartothinkhowillyou’vebeen——andallthetimeIneverknewit。Whenthedoctorcamedownyesterdaytoputmeinthecab,hetoldmethatforthreedaystheygaveyouup。
  Oh,dearest,ifthathadhappened,thelightwouldhavegoneoutoftheworldforme。Isupposethatsomedayinthefarfuture——
  oneofusmustleavetheother;butatleastweshallhavehadourhappinessandtherewillbememoriestolivewith。
  Imeanttocheeryouup——andinsteadIhavetocheermyself。
  ForinspiteofbeinghappierthanIeverdreamedIcouldbe,I’malsosoberer。Thefearthatsomethingmayhappenrestslikeashadowonmyheart。AlwaysbeforeIcouldbefrivolousandcare-freeandunconcerned,becauseIhadnothingprecioustolose。
  Butnow——IshallhaveaGreatBigWorryalltherestofmylife。
  WheneveryouareawayfrommeIshallbethinkingofalltheautomobilesthatcanrunoveryou,orthesign-boardsthatcanfallonyourhead,orthedreadful,squirmygermsthatyoumaybeswallowing。Mypeaceofmindisgoneforever——butanyway,Inevercaredmuchforjustplainpeace。
  Pleasegetwell——fast——fast——fast。IwanttohaveyouclosebywhereIcantouchyouandmakesureyouaretangible。Suchalittlehalfhourwehadtogether!I’mafraidmaybeIdreamedit。
  IfIwereonlyamemberofyourfamily(averydistantfourthcousin)
  thenIcouldcomeandvisityoueveryday,andreadaloudandplumpupyourpillowandsmoothoutthosetwolittlewrinklesinyourforeheadandmakethecornersofyourmouthturnupinanicecheerfulsmile。
  Butyouarecheerfulagain,aren’tyou?YouwereyesterdaybeforeIleft。ThedoctorsaidImustbeagoodnurse,thatyoulookedtenyearsyounger。Ihopethatbeinginlovedoesn’tmakeeveryonetenyearsyounger。Willyoustillcareforme,darling,ifI
  turnouttobeonlyeleven?
  Yesterdaywasthemostwonderfuldaythatcouldeverhappen。
  IfIlivetobeninety-nineIshallneverforgetthetiniestdetail。
  ThegirlthatleftLockWillowatdawnwasaverydifferentpersonfromtheonewhocamebackatnight。Mrs。Semplecalledmeathalf-pastfour。
  Istartedwideawakeinthedarknessandthefirstthoughtthatpoppedintomyheadwas,`IamgoingtoseeDaddy-Long-Legs!’Iatebreakfastinthekitchenbycandle-light,andthendrovethefivemilestothestationthroughthemostgloriousOctobercolouring。
  Thesuncameupontheway,andtheswampmaplesanddogwoodglowedcrimsonandorangeandthestonewallsandcornfieldssparkledwithhoarfrost;theairwaskeenandclearandfullofpromise。
  Iknewsomethingwasgoingtohappen。Allthewayinthetraintherailskeptsinging,`You’regoingtoseeDaddy-Long-Legs。’
  Itmademefeelsecure。IhadsuchfaithinDaddy’sabilitytosetthingsright。AndIknewthatsomewhereanotherman——dearerthanDaddy——
  waswantingtoseeme,andsomehowIhadafeelingthatbeforethejourneyendedIshouldmeethim,too。Andyousee!
  WhenIcametothehouseonMadisonAvenueitlookedsobigandbrownandforbiddingthatIdidn’tdaregoin,soIwalkedaroundtheblocktogetupmycourage。ButIneedn’thavebeenabitafraid;
  yourbutlerissuchanice,fatherlyoldmanthathemademefeelathomeatonce。`IsthisMissAbbott?’hesaidtome,andIsaid,`Yes,’soIdidn’thavetoaskforMr。Smithafterall。
  Hetoldmetowaitinthedrawing-room。Itwasaverysombre,magnificent,man’ssortofroom。Isatdownontheedgeofabigupholsteredchairandkeptsayingtomyself:
  `I’mgoingtoseeDaddy-Long-Legs!I’mgoingtoseeDaddy-Long-Legs!’
  Thenpresentlythemancamebackandaskedmepleasetostepuptothelibrary。Iwassoexcitedthatreallyandtrulymyfeetwouldhardlytakemeup。Outsidethedoorheturnedandwhispered,`He’sbeenveryill,Miss。Thisisthefirstdayhe’sbeenallowedtositup。You’llnotstaylongenoughtoexcitehim?’
  Iknewfromthewayhesaiditthathelovedyou——anIthinkhe’sanolddear!
  Thenheknockedandsaid,`MissAbbott,’andIwentinandthedoorclosedbehindme。
  ItwassodimcominginfromthebrightlylightedhallthatforamomentIcouldscarcelymakeoutanything;thenIsawabigeasychairbeforethefireandashiningteatablewithasmallerchairbesideit。AndIrealizedthatamanwassittinginthebigchairproppedupbypillowswitharugoverhisknees。BeforeIcouldstophimherose——rathershakily——andsteadiedhimselfbythebackofthechairandjustlookedatmewithoutaword。Andthen——
  andthen——Isawitwasyou!ButevenwiththatIdidn’tunderstand。
  IthoughtDaddyhadhadyoucometheretomeetmeorasurprise。
  Thenyoulaughedandheldoutyourhandandsaid,`DearlittleJudy,couldn’tyouguessthatIwasDaddy-Long-Legs?’
  Inaninstantitflashedoverme。Oh,butIhavebeenstupid!
  Ahundredlittlethingsmighthavetoldme,ifIhadhadanywits。
  Iwouldn’tmakeaverygooddetective,wouldI,Daddy?Jervie?
  WhatmustIcallyou?JustplainJerviesoundsdisrespectful,andI
  can’tbedisrespectfultoyou!
  Itwasaverysweethalfhourbeforeyourdoctorcameandsentmeaway。
  IwassodazedwhenIgottothestationthatIalmosttookatrainforStLouis。Andyouwereprettydazed,too。Youforgottogivemeanytea。Butwe’rebothvery,veryhappy,aren’twe?IdrovebacktoLockWillowinthedarkbutoh,howthestarswereshining!
  AndthismorningI’vebeenoutwithColinvisitingalltheplacesthatyouandIwenttotogether,andrememberingwhatyousaidandhowyoulooked。Thewoodstodayareburnishedbronzeandtheairisfulloffrost。It’sCLIMBINGweather。Iwishyouwereheretoclimbthehillswithme。Iammissingyoudreadfully,Jerviedear,butit’sahappykindofmissing;we’llbetogethersoon。Webelongtoeachothernowreallyandtruly,nomake-believe。Doesn’titseemqueerformetobelongtosomeoneatlast?Itseemsvery,verysweet。
  AndIshallneverletyoubesorryforasingleinstant。
  Yours,foreverandever,JudyPS。Thisisthefirstlove-letterIeverwrote。Isn’titfunnythatIknowhow?