Whenyoureflectthattheworldissatisfiedthatmostofman’scriminalinstinctsaretheresultofheredity，andthatMr。NoahandIareunabletoshifttheresponsibilityforposteritytoothershouldersthanourown，youwillunderstandmyposition。Wewereaboutthemostdomesticoldcouplethateverlived，andwhenweseethelongandvariedassortmentofcrimesthatarecroppingouteverywhereinourdescendantsitispainfultoustorealizewhatapairofunconsciouslywickedoldfogieswemusthavebeen。"
　　"Weallunderstandthat，"saidCleopatra，kindly；"andweareallpreparedtoacquityouofanyresponsibilityfortheadvancedconditionofwickednessto—day。Manhasprogressedsinceyourtime，mydeargrandma，andthemodernimprovementsinthescienceofcrimearenomoreattributabletoyouthantheinventionofthetelephoneortheoystercocktailisattributabletoyourhusband。"
　　"Thankyoukindly，"murmuredtheoldlady，andsheresumedherknittinguponaphantomtam—o’—shanter，whichshewasmakingasaChristmassurpriseforherhusband。
　　"WhenCaptainKiddbeganhisstory，"saidCassandra，"hemadeoneverybadmistake，andyetonewhichwaspromptedbythatcourtesywhichallmeninstinctivelyadoptwhenaddressingwomen。Whenheenteredtheroomheremovedhishat，andthereinlayhisfatalerror，ifhewishedtoconvincemeofthetruthofhisstory，forwithhishatremovedIcouldseetheworkingsofhismind。Whileyouladieswerewatchinghislipsorhiseyes，someofyoutakinginthegorgeousdetailsofhisdress，allofyouhanginguponhiseveryword，Ikeptmyeyefixedfirmlyuponhisimagination，andIsaw，whatyoudidnot，THATHEWASDRAWINGWHOLLYUPONTHAT!"
　　"Howextraordinary!"criedElizabeth。
　　"Yes——andfortunate，"saidCassandra。"HadInotdoneso，aweekhenceweshould，everyoneofus，havebeenlostinthesurgingwickednessofthecityofParis。"
　　"But，Cassandra，"saidTrilby，whowasanxioustoreturnoncemoretothebeautifulcitybytheSeine，"hetoldusweweregoingtoParis。"
　　"Ofcoursehedid，"saidMadameRecamier，"andinsomanywords。
　　Certainlyhewasnotdrawinguponhisimaginationthere。"
　　"Andonemightbelostinaverymuchworseplace，"putinMargueritedeValois，"if，indeed，itwerepossibletoloseusinParisatall。
　　IfancythatIknowenoughaboutParistofindmywayabout。"
　　"Humph!"ejaculatedCassandra。"Whatafoolishlittlethingyouare!
　　Youdon’timaginethattheParisofto—dayistheParisofyourtime，oreventheParisofthatsweetchildTrilby’stime，doyou？Ifyoudoyouareverymuchmistaken。IalmostwishIhadnotwarnedyouofyourdangerandhadletyougo，justtoseethoseeyesofyoursopenwithamazementatthechange。You’dfindyourLouvreaverydifferentsortofaplacefromwhatitusedtobe，mydearlady。
　　Thosepleasinglittlewindowsthroughwhichyourrelationswerewontinoldentimestoindulgeintargetpracticeatpeoplewhodidn’tgototheirchurcharenowkeptclosed；thegallerieswhichusedtoswarmwithpeople，manyofwhomoughttohavebeenhanged，nowswarmwithpictures，manyofwhichoughtnottohavebeenhung；theromancewhichclungaboutitswallsisasmuchapartofthedeadpastasyourselves，andwereyoutomaterializesuddenlythereinyouwouldfindyourselvesjostledandhustledandtroddenuponbythecuriousfromotherlands，withArguseyestakinginfivehundredpicturesaminute，andtraversingthosehallsatarateofspeedatwhichMercuryhimselfwouldstandaghast。"
　　"ButmybelovedTuileries？"criedMarieAntoinette。
　　"Hasbeenswallowedupbyaplay—groundforthepeople，mydear，"
　　saidCassandra，gently。"Parisisnoplaceforus，anditistheintentionofthesemen，inwhosehandsweare，totakeusthereandthendesertus。Canyouimagineanythingworsethanourselves，thephantomsofagloriousromanticpast，baselydesertedinthestreetsofawhollystrange，superficial，materialcityofto—day？Whatdoyouthink，Elizabeth，wouldbeyourfateif，faintandfamished，youbeggedforsustenanceatanEnglishdoorto—day，andwhenaskedyournameandprofessionweretoreply，’Elizabeth，QueenofEngland’？"
　　"Insaneasylum，"saidElizabeth，shortly。
　　"Precisely。SoinPariswiththerestofus，"saidCassandra。
　　"Howdoyouknowallthis？"askedTrilby，stillunconvinced。
　　"Iknowitjustasyouknewhowtobecomeaprimadonna，"saidCassandra。"Iam，however，myownSvengali，whichisratherpreferabletothepatentdetachablehypnotizeryouhad。Ihypnotizemyself，anddirectmymindintothefuture。IwasaprofessionalforecasterinthedaysofancientTroy，andifmyrevelationshadbeenheededthePriamfamilywould，Idoubtnot，stillbedoingbusinessattheoldstand，andMr。AEneaswouldnothavegrownround—
　　shoulderedgivinghispoorfatherapicky—backrideontheopeningnightofthehorse—show，sographicallydepictedbyVirgil。"
　　"Ineverheardaboutthat，"saidTrilby。"Itsoundslikeaveryfunnystory，though。"
　　"Well，itwasn’tsohumorousforsomeasitwasforothers，"saidCassandra，withaslyglanceatHelen。"Thefactis，untilyoumentionedityourself，itneveroccurredtomethattherewasmuchfuninanyportionoftheTrojanincident，exceptingperhapsthedeliriumtremensofoldLaocoon，whogotnomorethanhedeservedforstealingmythunder。IhadwarnedTroyagainsttheGreeks，andtheyalllaughedatme，andsaidmyeyetothefuturewasstrabismatic；
　　thattheGreekscouldn’tgetintoTroyatall，eveniftheywantedto。AndthentheGreeksmadeagreatwoodenhorseasagiftfortheTrojans，andwhenIturnedmyX—raygazeuponitIsawthatitcontainedaboutsixbrigadesofinfantry，threeartilleryregiments，andsharp—shootersbythescore。ItwasasortofmilitaryNoah’sArk；butIknewthattheprejudiceagainstmewassostrongthatnobodywouldbelievewhatItoldthem。SoIsaidnothing。Mypropheciesnevercametrue，theysaid，failingtoobservethatmywarningastowhatwouldbewasinitselfthecauseoftheirnon—
　　fulfilment。ButdesiringtosaveTroy，IsentforLaocoonandtoldhimallaboutit，andhewentoutandannounceditashisownprivateprophecy；andthen，havingtriedtodrownhisconscienceinstrongwaters，hefellavictimtotheusualserpentinehallucination，andeverybodysaidhewasn’tsober，andthereforeunworthyofbelief。
　　Thehorsewasaccepted，hauledintothecity，andthatnightorderscamefromhindquarterstotheregimentsconcealedinsidetomarch。
　　Theymarched，andnextmorningTroyhadbeenremovedfromthemap；
　　ninetypercentoftheTrojansdiedsuddenly，andAEneas，grabbinguphisfamilyinonehandandhisgodsintheother，wentyachtingforseveralseasons，ultimatelysettlingdowninItaly。AllofthiscouldhavebeenavoidediftheTrojanswouldhavetakenthehintfrommyprophecies。Theypreferred，however，nottodoit，withtheresultthatto—daynoonebutHelenandmyselfknowsevenwhereTroywas，andwe’llnevertell。"
　　"Itisalltrue，"saidHelen，proudly。"Iwasthewomanwhowasatthebottomofitall，andIcantestifythatCassandraalwaystoldthetruth，whichiswhyshewasalwayssounpopular。Whenanythingthatwasunpleasanthappened，afteritwasallovershewouldturnandsay，sweetly，’Itoldyouso。’Shewastheoriginal’Itoldyouso’nuisance，andofcourseshehadthenewspapyrusesdownonher，becausesheneverleftthemanysensationtospringuponthepublic。
　　Ifshehadonlytoldafibonceinawhile，thepublicwouldhavehadmoreconfidenceinher。"
　　"Thankyouforyourendorsement，"saidCassandra，withanodatHelen。"WithsuchtestimonyIcannotseehowyoucanrefrainfromtakingmyadviceinthismatter；andItellyou，ladies，thatthismanKiddhasmadehisstoryupoutofwholecloth；themenofHadeshadnomoretodowithourbeingherethanwehad；theywereasmuchsurprisedaswearetofindusgone。Kiddhimselfwasnotawareofourpresence，andhisobjectintakingustoParisistoleaveusstrandedthere，disembodiedspirits，vagrantsoulswithnofamiliarhauntstohaunt，noplacetorest，andnothingbeforeussaveperpetualexileinaworldthatwouldhavenosympathyforusinourmisfortune，andnobeliefinourcontinuedexistence。"
　　"Butwhat，then，shallwedo？"criedOphelia，wringingherhandsindespair。
　　"Itisaterribleproblem，"saidCleopatra，anxiously；"andyetitdoesseemasifourwoman’sinstinctoughttoshowussomewayoutofourtrouble。"
　　"TheCommitteeonTreachery，"saidDelilah，"hasalreadysuggestedachafing—dishparty，withLucretiaBorgiainchargeofthelobsterNewberg。"
　　"Thatistrue，"saidLucretia；"butIfind，ingoingthroughmyreticule，thatmymaid，forsomereasonunknowntome，hasfailedtorenewmysupplyofpoisons。Ishalldischargeheronmyreturnhome，forsheknowsthatInevergoanywherewithoutthem；butthatdoesnothelpmattersatthisjuncture。ThesadfactremainsthatIcouldprepareathousanddelicaciesforthesepirateswithoutfatalresults。"
　　"Youmeanimmediatelyfatal，doyounot？"suggestedXanthippe。"I
　　couldmyselfprepareacakewhichwouldintimereduceourcaptorstoastateofabsolutedependence，butofcoursetheeffectisnotimmediate。"
　　"Wemightgiveamusicale，andletTrilbysing’BenBolt’tothem，"
　　suggestedMargueritedeValois，withagiggle。
　　"Don’tbeflippant，please，"saidPortia。"Wehaven’ttimetowasteonflippantsuggestions。Perhapsacourt—martialofthesepirates，supplementedbyayard—arm，wouldn’tbeabadthing。I’llprosecutethecase。"
　　"Youforgetthatyouaredealingwithimmortalspirits，"observedCleopatra。"Ifthesecreaturesweremortals，hangingthemwouldbeallright，andcomparativelyeasy，consideringthatweoutnumberthemtentoone，andhavemanyresourcesforgettingthem，moreorless，inourpower，buttheyarenot。Theyhavegonethroughtherefiningprocessofdissolutiononce，andthere’sanendtothat。Ouronlyresourceisinthelineofdeception，andifwecannotdeceivethem，thenwehaveceasedtobewomen。"
　　"Thatistrulysaid，"observedElizabeth。"Andinasmuchaswehavealreadyprovidedourselveswithasuitablecommitteeforthepreparationofourplansofadeceptivenature，Imove，astheeasiestpossiblesolutionofthedifficultyfortherestofus，thattheCommitteeonTreacheryberequestedtogoatonceintoexecutivesession，withordersnottocomeoutofituntiltheyhavesuggestedaplausibleplanofcampaignagainstourabductors。Wemustberidofthem。LettheCommitteeonTreacherysayhow。"
　　"Secondthemotion，"saidMrs。Noah。"Youareaveryclear—headedyoungwoman，Lizzie，andyourgrandmotherisproudofyou。"
　　TheCommitteeonTreacherywereabouttoprotest，butthechairrefusedtoentertainanydebateuponthequestion，whichwasputandcarriedwithastormofapproval。
　　Fiveminuteslateranotewashandedthroughtheport，addressedtoCleopatra，whichreadasfollows：
　　"DearMadame，——Sixbellshasjuststruck，andtheofficersandcrewarehungry。Willyouandyourfaircompanionsco—operatewithusinourenterprisebyhavingaheartydinnerreadywithintwohours？A
　　speckhasappearedonthehorizonwhichbetokensacomingstorm，elsewewouldprepareoursupperourselves。Asitis，wefeelthatyoursafetydependsonourremainingondeck。Ifthereisanybeerontheice，wepreferittotea。Twocaseswillsuffice。
　　"Yoursrespectfully，"HENRYMORGAN，Bart。；FirstMate。"
　　"Hurrah!"criedCleopatra，asshereadthiscommunication。"Ihaveanidea。TelltheCommitteeonTreacherytoappearbeforethefullmeetingatonce。"
　　Thecommitteewassummoned，andCleopatraannouncedherplanofoperation，anditwasunanimouslyadopted；butwhatitwasweshallhavetowaitforanotherchaptertolearn。
　　CHAPTERXI：MAROONED
　　WhenCaptainHolmesarrivedupondeckheseizedhisglass，and，gazingintentlythroughitforamoment，perceivedthatthefaithfulShemhadnotdeceivedhim。Flyingathalf—mastfromarude，roughlyhewnpolesetuponarockyheightwastheblackflag，emblemofpiracy，and，asArtemusWardputit，"withthesecondjointsreversed。"Itwasinverytruthasignalofdistress。
　　"Imakeitapointnevertobesurprised，"observedHolmes，ashepeeredthroughtheglass，"butthisbeatsme。Ididn’tknowtherewasanislandofthisnatureintheselatitudes。Blackstone，gobelowandpipeCaptainCookondeck。Perhapsheknowswhatislandthatis。"
　　"You’llhavetoexcuseme，CaptainHolmes，"repliedtheJudge。"I
　　didn’tshiponthisvoyageasacabin—boyoramessenger—boy。
　　ThereforeI——"
　　"Bonaparte，puttheJudgeinirons，"interruptedHolmes，sternly。"I
　　expecttobeobeyed，JudgeBlackstone，whetheryoushippedasaLordChief—Justiceorastate—roomsteward。WhenIissueanorderitmustbeobeyed。Steplivelythere，Bonaparte。Gethishonorironedandsummonyourmarines。Wemayhaveworktodobeforenight。Hamlet，pipeCaptainCookondeck。"
　　"Aye，aye，sir，"repliedHamlet，withalacrity，ashemadeoff。
　　"That’sthewaytoobeyorders，"saidHolmes，withascornfulglanceatBlackstone。
　　"Iwasonlyjesting，Captain，"saidthelatter，palingsomewhat。
　　"That’sallright，"saidHolmes，takinguphisglassagain。"SowasIwhenIorderedyouinirons，andinorderthatyoumayappreciatethefullforceofthejokeIrepeatit。Bonaparte，doyourduty。"
　　Inaninstanttheorderwasobeyed，andtheunhappyJudgeshortlyfoundhimselfmanacledandaloneintheforecastle。MeanwhileCaptainCook，inresponsetothecommander’sorder，repairedtothedeckandscannedthedistantcoast。
　　"Ican’tplaceit，"hesaid。"Itcan’tbeMonteCristo，canit？"
　　"No，itcan’t，"saidtheCount，whostoodhardby。"MyislandwasintheMediterranean，andevenifitdraggedanchoritcouldn’thavegotoutthroughtheStraitofGibraltar。"
　　"Perhapsit’sRobinsonCrusoe’sisland，"suggestedDoctorJohnson。
　　"Notit，"observedDeFoe。"Ifitis，therestofyouwillpleasekeepoff。It’smine，andImaywanttouseitagain。I’vebeenhavinganumberofinterviewswithCrusoelatterly，andhe’sgivenmealotofnewpoints，whichIintendincorporatinginasequelfortheCimmerianMagazine。"
　　"Well，inthenameofAtlas，whatislandisit，then？"roaredHolmes，angrily。"WhatisthematterwithallyoulearnedlubbersthatI
　　havebroughtalongonthistrip？DoyousupposeI’vebroughtyoutowhistleupfavorablewinds？NotbythebeardoftheProphet!I
　　broughtyoutogivemeinformation，andnowwhenIaskforthenameofasimplelittleislandlikethatinplainsightthere’snotoneofyouablesomuchastoguessatitreasonably。ThenextmanIaskforinformationgoesintoironswithJudgeBlackstoneifhedoesn’tanswermeinstantlywiththeinformationIwant。Munchausen，whatislandisthat？"
　　"Ahem!that？"repliedMunchausen，trembling，ashereflectedupontheCaptain’sthreat。"What？Nobodyknowswhatislandthatis？Why，yousurpriseme—
　　"Seehere，Baron，"retortedHolmes，menacingly，"Iaskyouaplainquestion，andIwantaplainanswer，withnoevasionstogaintime。
　　Nowit’sironsorananswer。Whatislandisthat？"
　　"It’sanislandthatdoesn’tappearonanychart，Captain，"
　　Munchausenrespondedinstantly，pullinghimselftogetherforamightyeffort，"andithasneverbeengivenaname；butasyouinsistuponhavingone，we’llcallitHolmesIsland，inyourhonor。Itisnotstationary。Itisafloatingislandoflavaformation，andisamenacetoeverycraftthatgoestosea。Ispentayearofmylifeuponitonce，anditismorebarrenthanthedesertofSahara，becauseyoucannotraiseevensanduponit，anditisdevoidofwaterofanysort，saltorfresh。"
　　"Whatdidyouliveonduringthatyear？"askedHolmes，eyinghimnarrowly。
　　"Cannedfoodfromwrecks，"repliedtheBaron，feelingmucheasiernowthathehadgotafairstart——"cannedfoodfromwrecks，commander。
　　Thereisamagneticpropertyintheupperstratumofthispieceofderelictrealestate，sir，whichattractstoiteverybitofcannedsubstancethatislostoverboardinallpartsoftheworld。Ashipiswrecked，say，inthePacificOcean，andultimatelyalltheloosemetaluponherwillsuccumbtotheirresistibleattractionofthismagneticupperstratum，andwillfinditswaytoitsshores。Soinanyotherpartoftheearth。Everythingmetallicturnsupheresoonerorlater；andwhenyouconsiderthatthousandsofvesselsgodowneveryyear，vesselswhichareprovisionedwithtinnedfoodsonly，youwillbegintocomprehendhowmanymillionsofpoundsofpreservedsalmon，sardines，patedefoiegras，peaches，andsoon，canbefoundstrewnalongitscoast。"
　　"Munchausen，"saidHolmes，smiling，"bytheblushuponyourcheek，coupledwithanoccasionaluneasyglanceoftheeye，Iknowthatforonceyouarestandinguponthe，toyou，unfamiliargroundoftruth，andIadmireyouforit。Thereisnothingtobeashamedofintellingthetruthoccasionally。Youareamanaftermyownheart。
　　Comebelowandhaveacocktail。CaptainCook，takecommandoftheGehennaduringmyabsence；headherstraightforHolmesIsland，andwhenyoudiscoveranythingnewletmeknow。Bonaparte，inhonorofMunchausen’sremarkablegenius，Iproclaimgeneralamnestytoourprisoners，andyoumayreleaseBlackstonefromhisdilemma；andifyouhaveanytinsoldiersamongyourmarines，seethattheyarelashedtotherigging。Idon’twantthiselectricislandoftheBaron’stogetagripuponmymilitaryforceatthisjuncture。"
　　WiththisHolmes，followedbyMunchausen，wentbelow，andthetwoworthiesweresoondeepinthemysteriesofaphantomcocktail，whileDoctorJohnsonandDeFoegazedmournfullyoutovertheoceanatthefloatingisland。
　　"DeFoe，"saidJohnson"thatoughttobealessontoyou。Thisrealismthatyoutieuptoisallrightwhenyouarealonewithyourconscience；butwhentherearegreatthingsafoot，animaginationandabroadviewastothelimitationsoftrutharen’tatallbad。YouorImightnowbedrinkingthatcocktailwithHolmesifwe’donlyrisentotheopportunitythewayMunchausendid。"
　　"Thatistrue，"saidDeFoe，sadly。"ButIdidn’tsupposehewantedthatkindofinformation。IcouldhavespunabetteryarnthanthatofMunchausen’swithmyeyesshut。Isupposedhewantedtruth，andI
　　gaveit。"
　　"I’dliketoknowwhathasbecomeoftheHouse—boat，"saidRaleigh，anxiouslygazingthroughtheglassattheisland。"IcanseeoldHenryMorgansittingdownthereontherockswithhiselbowsonhiskneesandhischininhishands，andKiddandAbeuchapetaarestandingbackofhim，yellinglikemad，butthereisn’taboatinsight。"
　　"Whoisthatman，offtotheright，dancingafandango？"askedJohnson。
　　"ItlookslikeConrad，butIcan’ttell。Heappearstohavegonecrazy。He’sgotthatwildlookonhisfacewhichbetokensinsanity。
　　We’llhavetobecarefulinourparleyingswiththesepeople，"saidRaleigh。
　　"Anythingnew？"askedHolmes，returningtothedeck，smackinghislipsinenjoymentofthecocktail。
　　"No——exceptthatwearealmostwithinhailingdistance，"saidCook。
　　"Thengiveorderstocastanchor，"observedHolmes。"Bonaparte，takeacrewofpickedmenashoreandbringthosepiratesaboard。Takethethreemusketeerswithyou，anddon’tletKiddorMorgangiveyouanybacktalk。Iftheytryanyfunnybusiness，exorcisethem。"
　　"Aye，aye，sir，"repliedBonaparte，andinamomentaboathadbeenloweredandasturdycrewofsailorswerepullingfortheshore。Astheycamewithintenfeetofitthepiratesmadeamaddashdowntherough，rockyhillsideandclamoredtobesaved。
　　"What’shappenedtoyou？"criedBonaparte，orderingthesailorstobackwaterlestthepiratesshouldtoohastilyboardtheboatandswampher。
　　"Wearemarooned，"repliedKidd，"andonanislandofavolcanicnature。Thereisn’tasquareinchofitthatisn’theatedupto125
　　degrees，andseventeenofushavealreadyevaporated。Conradhaslosthisreason；Abeuchapetahasbecomesotenuousthatachildcanseethroughhim。Asformyself，Iamgrowingiridescentwithanxiety，andunlessIgetoffthisinfernalfurnaceI’lldisappearlikeasoap—bubble。ForHeaven’ssake，then，General，takeusoff，onyourownterms。We’llacceptanything。"
　　AsifinconfirmationofKidd’swords，sixofthepiratecrewcollapsedanddisappearedintothinair，andaglanceatAbeuchapetawasproofenoughofhiscondition。Hehadbecomeasclearascrystal，andhaditnotbeenforhisruggedoutlineshewouldhardlyhavebeenvisibleeventohisfellow—spirits。AsforKidd，hehadtakenontheaspectofarainbow，anditwaspatentthathisfearsforhimselfwerealltoowellfounded。
　　Bonaparteembarkedtheleadersofthebandfirst，returningsubsequentlyfortheothers，andrepairedwiththematoncetotheGehenna，wheretheywereusheredintothepresenceofSherlockHolmes。ThefirstquestionheaskedwasastothewhereaboutsoftheHouse—boat。
　　"Thatwedonotknow，"repliedKidd，mournfully，gazingdownwardatthewreckofhisformerself。"Wecameashore，sir，earlyyesterdaymorning，insearchoffood。Itappearsthatwhen——actinginawhollyinexcusablefashion，andinfluenced，Iconfessit，bymotivesofrevenge——Imadeoffwithyourclub—house，Ineglectedtoascertainifitwerewellstockedwithprovisions，afatalerror；forwhenweendeavoredtogetsupperwediscoveredthatthelardercontainedbuthalfabottleoffarcieolives，twosaltedalmonds，andasodacracker——notaluxuriousfeastforsixty—ninepiratesandahundredandeighty—threewomentositdownto。"
　　"That’sallnonsense，"saidDemosthenes。"TheHouseCommitteehadprovidedenoughsupperforsixhundredpeople，inanticipationoftheappetiteofthemembersontheirreturnfromthefight。"
　　"Ofcoursetheydid，"saidConfucius；"anditwasagoodone，too——
　　salads，salmonglace，lobsters——everyblessedthingamancan’tgetathomewehad；andwhatismore，they’dbeendeliveredonboard。I
　　sawtothatbeforeIwentuptheriver。"
　　"Then，"moanedKidd，"itisasIsuspected。Wewerethevictimsofbasetreacheryonthepartofthosewomen。"
　　"Treachery？Well，Ilikethat。Callitreciprocity，"saidHamlet，dryly。
　　"WewereinformedbytheladiesthattherewasnothingforsuppersavetheitemsIhavealreadyreferredto，"saidKidd。"Iseeitallnow。Wehadtriedtomakethemcomfortable，andIputmyselftosomeconsiderablepersonalinconveniencetomakethemeasyintheirminds，buttheywereungrateful。"
　　"Whateverinducedyoutotake’emalongwithyou？"askedSocrates。
　　"Wedidn’twantthem，"saidKidd。
　　"Wedidn’tknowtheywereonboarduntilitwastoolatetoturnback。They’dbrokenin，andwerehavingthecluballtothemselvesinyourabsence。"
　　"Itservedyougoodandright，"saidSocrates，withalaugh。"Nexttimeyoutrytotakethingsthatdon’tbelongtoyou，maybeyou’llbeatriflemorecarefulastowhosepropertyyouconfiscate。"
　　"ButtheHouse—boat——youhaven’ttoldushowyoulosther，"putinRaleigh，impatiently。
　　"Well，itwasthisway，"saidKidd。"When，inresponsetoourpoliterequestforsupper，theladiessaidtherewasnothingtoeatonboard，somethinghadtobedone，forwewereallashungryasbears，andwedecidedtogoashoreatthefirstportandprovision。
　　Unfortunatelythecrewgotrestive，andwhenthisfloatingfrying—panloomedintoview，tokeepthemgood—naturedwedecidedtolandandseeifwecouldbeg，borrow，orstealsomesupplies。Wehadto。
　　Observationstakenwiththesextantshowedthattherewasnoportwithinfivehundredmiles；theislandlookedasifitmightbeinhabitedatleastbygoats，andashorewewent，everymanofus，leavingtheHouse—boatsafelyanchoredintheharbor。Atfirstwedidn’tmindtheheat，andwehuntedandhuntedandhunted；butafterthreeorfourhoursIbegantonoticethatthreeofmysailorswereshrivellingup，andConradbegantoactasifheweredaft。Hawkinsburstrightbeforemyeyes。ThenAbeuchapetagotprismaticaroundtheeyesandbegantofade，andInoticedaslightiridescenceaboutmyself；andasforMorgan，hehadthemisfortunetoliedowntotakeanapinthesun，andwhenhewakedup，hiswholerightsidehadevaporated。Thenwesawwhatthetroublewas。We’dstruckthislavaisland，andweregraduallysuccumbingtoitsintenseheat。Werushedmadlybacktotheharbortoembark；andourship，gentlemen，andyourHouse—boat，wasslowlybutsurelydisappearingoverthehorizon，andflyingfromtheflag—staffattheforeweresignalsoffarewell，withanunfeelingP。S。belowtothiseffect：’DON’TWAITUPFORUS。WE
　　MAYNOTBEBACKUNTILLATE。’"
　　Therewasapause，duringwhichSocrateslaughedquietlytohimself，whileAbeuchapetaandtheone—sidedMorganweptsilently。
　　"That，gentlemenoftheAssociatedShades，isallIknowofthewhereaboutsoftheHouse—boat，"continuedCaptainKidd。"Ihavenodoubtthattheladiespractisedadeception，toourdiscomfiture，andImustsaythatIthinkitwasexceedinglyclever——grantingthatitwasdesirabletoberidofus，whichIdon’t，forwemeantwellbythem，andtheywouldhaveenjoyedthemselves。"
　　"But，"criedHamlet，"maytheynotnowbeinperil？Theycannotnavigatethatship。"
　　"Theygotheroutoftheharborallright，"saidKidd。"AndIjudgedfromthefigureatthehelmthatMrs。Noahhadtakencharge。WhatkindofaseamansheisIdon’tknow。"
　　"Almightybad，"ejaculatedShem，turningpale。"ItwasshewhoranusashoreonArarat。"
　　"Well，wasn’tthatwhatyouwanted？"queriedMunchausen。
　　"Whatwewanted!"criedShem。"Well，Iguessnot。Youdon’twantyouryachtstrandedonamountain—top，doyou？Shewasadeadlossthere，whereasifmotherhadn’tbeeninsuchahurrytogetashore，wecouldhavewaitedamonthandlandedontheseaboard。"
　　"Youmighthaveturnedherintoasummerhotel，"suggestedMunchausen。
　　"Well，wemustupanchorandaway，"saidHolmes。"Ourpursuithasmerelybegun，apparently。Wemustovertakethisvessel，andthequestiontobeansweredis——where？"
　　"That’seasy，"saidArtemusWard。"FromwhatShemsays，Ithinkwe’dbetterlookforherintheHimalayas。"
　　"And，meanwhile，whatshallbedonewithKidd？"askedHolmes。
　　"Heoughttobeexpelledfromtheclub，"saidJohnson。
　　"Wecan’texpelhim，becausehe’snotamember，"repliedRaleigh。
　　"Thenelecthim，"suggestedWard。
　　"Whatonearthfor？"growledJohnson。
　　"Sothatwecanexpelhim，"saidWard。AndwhileBoswell’sherowastryingtogetthevalueofthisnotionthroughhishead，theothersrepairedtothedeck，andtheGehennawassoonunderwayoncemore。
　　MeanwhileCaptainKiddandhisfellowswereputinironsandstowedawayintheforecastle，alongsideofthewater—caskinwhichShylocklayinhiding。
　　CHAPTERXII：THEESCAPEANDTHEEND
　　IftherewasanxietyonboardoftheGehennaastotheconditionandwhereaboutsoftheHouse—boat，therewasbynomeanslessuneasinessuponthatvesselitself。Cleopatra’sschemeforriddingherselfandherabductedsistersofthepirateshadworkedtoacharm，but，havingworkedthus，anewandhithertoundreamed—ofproblem，fullofperplexitiesbearingupontheirimmediatesafety，nowconfrontedthem。ThesolerepresentativeofaseafaringfamilyonboardwasMrs。Noah，anditdidnotrequiremuchtimetoseethatherknowledgeastonavigationwasofanextremelyprimitiveorder，limitedindeedtothescienceoffloating。
　　WhenthelastpiratehaddisappearedbehindtherocksofHolmesIsland，andallwasinreadinessforaction，thegoodoldlady，whohadhithertobeenascalmandunruffledasachild，begantogetredinthefaceandtobustleaboutinamannerwhichbetrayedconsiderableperturbationofspirit。
　　"Now，Mrs。Noah，"saidCleopatra，as，peepingoutfromthebilliard—
　　roomwindow，shesawMorgandisappearinginthedistance，"thecoastisclear，andIresignmypositionofchairmantoyou。Weplacethevesselinyourhands，andourselvessubjecttoyourorders。Youareincommand。Whatdoyouwishustodo？"
　　"Verywell，"repliedMrs。Noah，puttingdownherknittingandstartingforthedeck。"I’mnotcertain，butIthinkthefirstthingtodoistogethermoving。Doyouknow，I’veneverdiscoveredwhetherthisboatwasasteamboatorasailing—vessel？Doesanybodyknow？"
　　"Ithinkithasanaphthatankandapropeller，"saidElizabeth，"althoughIdon’tknow。ItseemstomemybrotherRaleightoldmethey’dhadanaphthaengineputinlastwinterafterthefreshet，whentheHouse—boatwascarriedtenmilesdowntheriver，andhadtobetowedbackatenormousexpense。Theyputitinsothatifshewerecarriedawayagainshecouldgetbackofherownpower。"
　　"That’sunfortunate，"saidMrs。Noah，"becauseIdon’tknowanythingaboutthesenewfanglednotions。Ifthere’sanyoneherewhoknowsanythingaboutnaphthaengines，Iwishthey’dspeak。"
　　"I’moftheopinion，"saidPortia，"thatIcanstudyoutthetheoryofitinashortwhile。"
　　"Verywell，then，"saidMrs。Noah，"youcandoit。I’llappointyouengineer，andgiveyouallyourordersnow，rightaway，inadvance。
　　Sethergoingandkeephergoing，anddon’tstopwithoutawrittenordersignedbyme。Wemightaswellbeverycareful，andhaveeverythingdoneproperly，anditmighthappenthatintheexcitementofourtripyouwouldmisunderstandmyspokenordersandmakeafatalerror。Therefore，paynoattentiontounwrittenorders。Thatwilldoforyouforthepresent。Xanthippe，youmaytakeOpheliaandMadameRecamier，andtenotherladies，and，everymorningbeforebreakfast，swabthelarboarddeck。Cassandra，Tuesdaysyouwilldevotetopolishingthebrassesinthedining—room，andthebalanceofyourtimeIwishyoutoexpendindustingthebric—a—brac。Dido，youalwayswerestrongatbuildingfires。I’llmakeyouchiefstoker。YouwillalsoassistLucretiaBorgiainthekitchen。
　　Inasmuchasthelatter’smaidhasneglectedtosupplyherwiththeusuallineofpoisons，IthinkwecansafelyentrusttoLucretia’shandstheresponsibilitiesoftheculinarydepartment。"
　　"I’mperfectlywillingtodoanythingIcan，"saidLucretia，"butI
　　mustconfessthatIdon’tapproveofyourmethodsofcommandingaship。Aship’scaptainisn’tadomesticmartinet，asyouaresettingouttobe。Wedidn’tappointyouhousekeeper。"
　　"Now，mychild，"saidMrs。Noah，firmly，"Idonotwishanywords。
　　IfIhearanymoreimpudencefromyou，I’llputyouashorewithoutareference；andtherestofyouIwouldwarninallkindnessthatI
　　willnottolerateinsubordination。Youmay，allofyou，haveonenightoftheweekandalternateSundaysoff，butyourworkmustbedone。TheregimenIamadoptingispreciselythatinvogueontheArk，onlyIdidn’thavethehelpIhavenow，andthingsgotintoverybadshape。Wewereoutfortydays，and，whilethefoodwaspoorandtheserviceexecrable，weneverlostalife。"
　　Theboatgaveaslighttremor。
　　"Hurrah!"criedElizabeth，clappingherhandswithglee，"weareoff!"
　　"Iwillrepairtothedeckandgetourbearings，"saidMrs。Noah，puttinghershawloverhershoulders。"Meantime，Cleopatra，I
　　appointyoufirstmate。SeethatthingsaretidiedupabitherebeforeIreturn。Havethewindowswashed，andto—morrowIwantalltherugsandcarpetstakenupandshaken。"
　　Portiameanwhilehaddiscoveredthenaphthaengine，and，afterexperimentingseveraltimeswiththevariousleversandstop—cocks，hadfinallymanagedtomoveoneoftheminsuchawayastosettheenginegoing，andthewheelbegantorevolve。
　　"Arewegoingallright？"shecried，frombelow。
　　"Iamafraidnot，"saidthegallantcommander。"Thewheelisroilingupthewateratagreatrate，butwedon’tseemtobegoingaheadveryfast——infact，we’resimplymovingroundandroundasthoughwewereonapivot。"
　　"I’mafraidwe’reagroundamidships，"saidXanthippe，gazingoverthesideoftheHouse—boatanxiously。"Shecertainlyactsthatway——likeamerry—go—round。"
　　"Well，there’ssomethingwrong，"saidMrs。Noah；"andwe’vegottohurryandfindoutwhatitis，orthosemenwillbebackandweshallbeasbadlyoffasever。"
　　"Maybethishassomethingtodowithit，"observedMrs。Lot，pointingtotheanchorrope。"Itlookstomeasifthosehorridmenhadtiedusfast。"
　　"That’sjustwhatitis，"snappedMrs。Noah。"Theyguessedourplan，andhavefastenedustoapoleorsomething，butIimaginewecanuntieit。"
　　Portia，whohadcomeondeck，gaveashortlittlelaugh。
　　"Why，ofcoursewedon’tmove，"shesaid——"weareanchored!"
　　"What’sthat？"queriedMrs。Noah。"WeneverhadanexperiencelikethatontheArk。"
　　Portiaexplainedthescienceoftheanchor。
　　"Whatnonsense!"ejaculatedMrs。Noah。"Howcanwegetawayfromit？"
　　"We’vegottopullitup，"saidPortia。"Orderallhandsondeckandhaveitpulledup。"
　　"Itcan’tbedone，and，ifitcould，Iwouldn’thaveit!"saidMrs。
　　Noah，indignantly。"Theidea!Liftingheavypiecesofiron，mydearPortia，isnotawoman’swork。SendforDelilah，andlethercuttheropewithherscissors。"
　　"Itwouldtakeheraweektocutahawserlikethat，"saidElizabeth，whohadbeeninvestigating。"Itwouldbemoretothepurpose，I
　　think，tochopitintwowithanaxe。"
　　"Verywell，"repliedMrs。Noah，satisfied。"Idon’tcarehowitisdoneaslongasitisdonequickly。Itwouldneverdoforustoberecapturednow。"
　　ThesuggestionofElizabethwascarriedout，andthequeenherselfcutthehawserwithsixwell—directedstrokesoftheaxe。
　　"YouAREanexpertwithit，aren’tyou？"smiledCleopatra。
　　"Iam，indeed，"repliedElizabeth，grimly。"IhaditsuspendedovermyheadforsolongatimebeforeIgottothethronethatIcouldn’thelpfamiliarizingmyselfwithsomeofitspossibilities。"
　　"Ah!"criedMrs。Noah，asthevesselbegantomove。"Ibegintofeeleasier。Itlooksnowasifwewerereallyoff。"
　　"Itseemstome，though，"saidCleopatra，gazingforward，"thatwearegoingbackward。"
　　"Oh，well，whatifweare!"saidMrs。Noah。"WedidthatontheArkhalfthetime。Itdoesn’tmakeanydifferencewhichwaywearegoingaslongaswego，doesit？"
　　"Why，ofcourseitdoes!"criedElizabeth。"Whatcanyoubethinkingof？Peoplewhowalkbackwardareingreatdangerofrunningintootherpeople。Whynotthesamewithships？Itseemstome，it’saverydangerouspieceofbusiness，sailingbackward。"
　　"Oh，nonsense，"snappedMrs。Noah。"Youareastimidasazebra。
　　DuringtheFlood，wesaileddaysanddaysanddays，goingbackward。
　　Itdidn’tmakeaparticleofdifferencehowwewent——itwasassafeonewayasanother，andwegotjustasfarawayintheend。Ourmainobjectnowistogetawayfromthepirates，andthat’swhatwearedoing。Don’tgetemotional，Lizzie，andremember，too，thatIamincharge。IfIthinktheboatoughttogosideways，sidewayssheshallgo。Ifyoudon’tlikeit，itisstillnottoolatetoputyouashore。"
　　ThethreatcalmedElizabethsomewhat，andshewassatisfied，andallwentwellwiththem，evenifPortiahadstartedthepropellerrevolvingreversefashion；sothattheHouse—boatwas，asElizabethhadsaid，backingherwaythroughtheocean。
　　Thedaypassed，andbyslowdegreestheislandandthemaroonedpiratesfadedfromview，andthenightcameon，andwithitadensefog。
　　"We’regoingtohaveanastynight，Iamafraid，"saidXanthippe，lookinganxiouslyoutoftheport。
　　"Nodoubt，"saidMrs。Noah，pleasantly。"I’msorryforthosewhohavetobeoutinit。"
　　"That’swhatIwasthinkingabout，"observedXanthippe。"It’sgoingtobeveryhardonuskeepingwatch。"
　　"Watchforwhat？"demandedMrs。Noah，lookingoverthetopsofherglassesatXanthippe。
　　"Why，surelyyouaregoingtohavelookoutsstationedondeck？"saidElizabeth。
　　"Notatall，"saidMrs。Noah。"Perfectlyabsurd。WeneverdiditontheArk，anditisn’tnecessarynow。Iwantyoualltogotobedatteno’clock。Idon’tthinkthenightairisgoodforyou。Besides，itisn’tproperforawomantobeoutafterdark，whethershe’snewornot。"
　　"But，mydearMrs。Noah，"expostulatedCleopatra，"whatwillbecomeoftheship？"
　　"Iguessshe’llfloatthroughthenightwhetherweareondeckornot，"saidthecommander。"TheArkdid，whynotthis？Now，girls，thesenew—fangledyachtingnotionsareallnonsense。It’snight，andthere’safogasthickasastone—wallallaboutus。Iftherewereahundredofyouupondeckwithteneyesapiece，youcouldn’tseeanything。Youmightmuchbetterbeinbed。Asyourcaptain，chaperon，andgrandmother，Icommandyoutostaybelow。"
　　"But——whoistosteer？"queriedXanthippe。
　　"What’stheuseofsteeringuntilwecanseewheretosteerto？"
　　demandedMrs。Noah。"Icertainlydon’tintendtobotherwiththattilleruntilsomereasonfordoingitarises。Wehaven’tanyplacetosteertoyet；wedon’tknowwherewearegoing。Now，mydearchildren，bereasonable，anddon’tworryme。I’vehadaveryharddayofit，andIfeelmyresponsibilitieskeenly。Justletmemanage，andwe’llcomeoutallright。I’vehadmoreexperiencethananyofyou，andif——"
　　Aterriblecrashinterruptedtheoldlady’sremarks。TheHouse—boatshiveredandshook，careenedwaytooneside，andasquicklyrightedandstoodstill。Amadrushupthegangwayfollowed，andinamomentahundredandeighty—threepale—faced，tremblingwomenstooduponthedeck，gazingwithhorroratagreathelplesshulktenfeettotherear，fastenedbybrokenropesandoddpiecesofriggingtothestern—postsoftheHouse—boat，sinkingslowlybutsurelyintothesea。
　　ItwastheGehenna!
　　TheHouse—boathadrunherdownandherlasthourhadcome，but，thankstothestanchnessofherbuildandwonderfulbeam，thefloatingclub—househadwithstoodtheshockoftheimpactandnowrodethewatersasgracefullyasever。
　　Portiawasthefirsttorealizetheextentofthecatastrophe，andinashortwhilechairsandlife—preserversandtables——everythingthatcouldfloat——hadbeentossedintotheseatothestrugglingimmortalstherein。OnboardtheGehenna，thosewhohadnotcastthemselvesintothewaters，underthecooldirectionofHolmesandBonaparte，calmlyloweredtheboats，andinashortwhilewerenotonlyabletofelicitatethemselvesupontheirsafety，buthadlikewisethegoodfortunetorescuetheirmoreimpetuousbrethrenwhohadpreferredtoswimforit。Ultimately，allwerebroughtaboardtheHouse—boatinsafety，andthemeninHadeswereoncemorereunitedtotheirwives，daughters，sisters，andfiancees，andElizabethhadthesatisfactionofoncemoresavingthelifeofRaleighbythrowinghimherruffasshehaddoneayearorsopreviously，whensheandherbrotherhadbeenupsetintheswiftcurrentoftheriverStyx。
　　Orderandhappinessbeingrestored，HolmestookcommandoftheHouse—
　　boatandsoonnavigatedhersafelybackintoherold—timeberth。TheGehennawenttothebottomandwasneverseenagain，andwhentherollwascalleditwasfoundthatallwhohadsetoutuponherhadreturnedinsafetysaveShylock，Kidd，SirHenryMorgan，andAbeuchapeta；buteventheywerenotlost，for，fiveweekslater，thesefourworthieswerefoundearlyonemorningdriftingslowlyuptheriverStyx，gazinganxiouslyoutfromthetopofawater—caskandyellinglustilyforhelp。
　　AndhereendeththechronicleofthepursuitofthegoodoldHouse—
　　boat。Backtohermoorings，theeventenorofherwayswasoncemoreresumed，butwithoneslightdifference。
　　Theladiesbecameeligibleformembership，and，availingthemselvesoftheprivilege，begantothinklessandlessoftheadvantagesofbeingmenandtorejoicethat，afterall，theywerewomen；andevenXanthippeandSocrates，afterthatnightofperil，reconciledtheirdifferences，andnolongerquarrelastowhichisthemoreentitledtowearthetogaofauthority。Ithasbecomeforthemadividedskirt。
　　AsforKiddandhisfellows，theyhaveneverrecoveredfromtheeffectsoftheirfearful，thoughshort，exileuponHolmesIsland，andarebutshadowsoftheirformershades；whereasMr。SherlockHolmeshassoendearedhimselftohisnew—foundfriendsthatheisquiteaspopularwiththemasheiswithus，whohaveyettocrossthedarkriverandbesubjectedtothescrutinyoftheCommitteeonMembershipattheHouse—boatontheStyx。
　　EvenHawkshawhasbeenabletodetecthisgenius。