`Ihavebeentooweak，Ithink！’shejerkedoutassheprancedon，shakingdowntear-dropsnowandthen。`Itwasburning，likealover’s-oh，itwas！AndIwon’twritetohimanymore，oratleastforalongtime，toimpresshimwithmydignity！AndIhopeitwillhurthimverymuch-expectingaletterto-morrowmorning，andthenext，andthenext，andnolettercoming。He’llsufferthenwithsuspense-won’the，that’sall！-andIamverygladofit！’-TearsofpityforJude’sapproachingsufferingsatherhandsmingledwiththosewhichhadsurgedupinpityforherself。
　　Thentheslimlittlewifeorahusbandwhosepersonwasdisagreeabletoher，theethereal，fine-nerved，sensitivegirl，quiteunfittedbytemperamentandinstincttofulfiltheconditionsofthematrimonialrelationwithPhillotson，possiblywithscarceanyman，walkedfitfullyalong，andpanted，andbroughtwearinessintohereyesbygazingandworryinghopelessly。
　　Phillotsonmetheratthearrivalstation，and，seeingthatshewastroubled，thoughtitmustbeowingtothedepressingeffectofheraunt’sdeathandfuneral。Hebegantellingherofhisday’sdoings，andhowhisfriendGillingham，aneighbouringschoolmasterwhomhehadnotseenforyears，hadcalleduponhim。Whileascendingtothetown，seatedonthetopoftheomnibusbesidehim，shesaidsuddenlyandwithanairofself-chastisement，regardingthewhiteroadanditsborderingbushesofhazel：
　　`Richard-IletMr。Fawleyholdmyhandalongwhile。Idon’tknowwhetheryouthinkitwrong？’
　　He，wakingapparentlyfromthoughtsoffardifferentmould，saidvaguely，`Oh，didyou？Whatdidyoudothatfor？’
　　`Idon’tknow。Hewantedto，andIlethim。’
　　`Ihopeitpleasedhim。Ishouldthinkitwashardlyanovelty。’
　　Theylapsedintosilence。Hadthisbeenacaseinthecourtofanomniscientjudge，hemighthaveenteredonhisnotesthecuriousfactthatSuehadplacedtheminorforthemajorindiscretion，andhadnotsaidawordaboutthekiss。
　　AfterteathateveningPhillotsonsatbalancingtheschoolregisters。
　　Sheremainedinanunusuallysilent，tense，andrestlesscondition，andatlast，sayingshewastired，wenttobedearly。WhenPhillotsonarrivedupstairs，wearywiththedrudgeryoftheattendance-numbers，itwasaquartertotwelveo’clock。Enteringtheirchamber，whichbydaycommandedaviewofsomethirtyorfortymilesovertheValeofBlackmoor，andevenintoOuterWessex，hewenttothewindow，and，pressinghisfaceagainstthepane，gazedwithhard-breathingfixityintothemysteriousdarknesswhichnowcoveredthefar-reachingscene。Hewasmusing，`Ithink，’hesaidatlast，withoutturninghishead，`thatImustgetthecommitteetochangetheschool-stationer。Allthecopybooksaresentwrongthistime。’
　　Therewasnoreply。ThinkingSuewasdozinghewenton：
　　`Andtheremustbearearrangementofthatventilatorintheclass-room。
　　Thewindblowsdownuponmyheadunmercifullyandgivesmetheear-ache。’
　　Asthesilenceseemedmoreabsolutethanordinarilyheturnedround。Theheavy，gloomyoakwainscot，whichextendedoverthewallsupstairsanddowninthedilapidated`Old-GrovePlace，’andthemassivechimney-piecereachingtotheceiling，stoodinoddcontrasttothenewandshiningbrassbedstead，andthenewsuiteofbirchfurniturethathehadboughtforher，thetwostylesseemingtonodtoeachotheracrossthreecenturiesupontheshakingfloor。
　　`Soo！’hesaidthisbeingthewayinwhichhepronouncedhername。
　　Shewasnotinthebed，thoughshehadapparentlybeenthere-
　　theclothesonhersidebeingflungback。Thinkingshemighthaveforgottensomekitchendetailandgonedownstairsforamomenttoseetoit，hepulledoffhiscoatandidledquietlyenoughforafewminutes，when，findingshedidnotcome，hewentoutuponthelanding，candleinhand，andsaidagain`Soo！’
　　`Yes！’camebacktohiminhervoice，fromthedistantkitchenquarter。
　　`Whatareyoudoingdownthereatmidnight-tiringyourselfoutfornothing！’
　　`Iamnotsleepy；Iamreading；andthereisalargerfirehere。’
　　Hewenttobed。Sometimeinthenightheawoke。Shewasnotthere，evennow。Lightingacandlehehastilysteppedoutuponthelanding，andagaincalledhername。
　　Sheanswered`Yes！’asbefore，butthetonesweresmallandconfined，andwhencetheycamehecouldnotatfirstunderstand。Underthestaircasewasalargeclothes-closet，withoutawindow；theyseemedtocomefromit。Thedoorwasshut，buttherewasnolockorotherfastening。Phillotson，alarmed，wenttowardsit，wonderingifshehadsuddenlybecomederanged。
　　`Whatareyoudoinginthere？’heasked。
　　`NottodisturbyouIcamehere，asitwassolate。’
　　`Butthere’snobed，isthere？Andnoventilation！Why，you’llbesuffocatedifyoustayallnight！’
　　`Ohno，Ithinknot。Don’ttroubleaboutme。’
　　`But-`Phillotsonseizedtheknobandpulledatthedoor。Shehadfasteneditinsidewithapieceofstring，whichbrokeathispull。
　　Therebeingnobedsteadshehadflungdownsomerugsandmadealittlenestforherselfintheverycrampedquarterstheclosetafforded。
　　Whenhelookedinuponhershesprangoutofherlair，great-eyedandtrembling。
　　`Yououghtnottohavepulledopenthedoor！’shecriedexcitedly。
　　`Itisnotbecominginyou！Oh，willyougoaway；pleasewillyou！’
　　Shelookedsopitifulandpleadinginherwhitenightgownagainsttheshadowylumber-holethathewasquiteworried。Shecontinuedtobeseechhimnottodisturbher。
　　Hesaid：`I’vebeenkindtoyou，andgivenyoueveryliberty；
　　anditismonstrousthatyoushouldfeelinthisway！’
　　`Yes，’saidshe，weeping。`Iknowthat！Itiswrongandwickedofme，Isuppose！Iamverysorry。ButitisnotIaltogetherthatamtoblame！’
　　`Whoisthen？Aml？’
　　`No-Idon’tknow！Theuniverse，Isuppose-thingsingeneral，becausetheyaresohorridandcruel！’
　　`Well，itisnousetalkinglikethat。Makingaman’shousesounseemlyatthistimeo’night！Elizawillhearifwedon’tmind。’Hemeanttheservant。`Justthinkifeitheroftheparsonsinthistownwastoseeusnow！Ihatesucheccentricities，Sue。There’snoorderorregularityinyoursentiments！……ButIwon’tintrudeonyoufurther；onlyIwouldadviseyounottoshutthedoortootight，orIshallfindyoustifledto-morrow。’
　　Onrisingthenextmorningheimmediatelylookedintothecloset，butSuehadalreadygonedownstairs。Therewasalittlenestwhereshehadlain，andspiders’webshungoverhead。`Whatmustawoman’saversionbewhenitisstrongerthanherfearofspiders！’hesaidbitterly。
　　Hefoundhersittingatthebreakfast-table，andthemealbeganalmostinsilence，theburgherswalkingpastuponthepavement-orratherroadway，pavementsbeingscarcehere-whichwastwoorthreefeetabovetheleveloftheparlourfloor。Theynoddeddowntothehappycoupletheirmorninggreetings，astheywenton。
　　`Richard，’shesaidallatonce；`wouldyoumindmylivingawayfromyou？’
　　`Awayfromme？Why，that’swhatyouweredoingwhenImarriedyou。Whatthenwasthemeaningofmarryingatall？’
　　`Youwouldn’tlikemeanythebetterfortellingyou。’
　　`Idon’tobjecttoknow。’
　　`BecauseIthoughtIcoulddonothingelse。Youhadgotmypromisealongtimebeforethat，remember。Then，astimewenton，IregrettedI
　　hadpromisedyou，andwastryingtoseeanhonourablewaytobreakitoff。
　　ButasIcouldn’tIbecameratherrecklessandcarelessabouttheconventions。
　　Thenyouknowwhatscandalswerespread，andhowIwasturnedoutofthetrainingschoolyouhadtakensuchtimeandtroubletopreparemeforandgetmeinto；andthisfrightenedmeanditseemedthenthattheonethingIcoulddowouldbetolettheengagementstand。OfcourseI，ofallpeople，oughtnottohavecaredwhatwassaid，foritwasjustwhatIfanciedI
　　neverdidcarefor。ButIwasacoward-assomanywomenare-andmytheoreticunconventionalitybrokedown。Ifthathadnotenteredintothecaseitwouldhavebeenbettertohavehurtyourfeelingsonceforallthen，thantomarryyouandhurtthemallmylifeafter……Andyouweresogenerousinnevergivingcreditforamomenttotherumour。’
　　`IamboundinhonestytotellyouthatIweigheditsprobabilityandinquiredofyourcousinaboutit。’
　　`Ah！’shesaidwithpainedsurprise。
　　`Ididn’tdoubtyou。’
　　`Butyouinquired！’
　　`Itookhisword。’
　　Hereyeshadfilled。`Hewouldn’thaveinquired！’shesaid。
　　`Butyouhaven’tansweredme。Willyouletmegoaway？Iknowhowirregularitisofmetoaskit——’
　　`Itisirregular。’
　　`ButIdoaskit！Domesticlawsshouldbemadeaccordingtotemperaments，whichshouldbeclassified。Ifpeopleareatallpeculiarincharactertheyhavetosufferfromtheveryrulesthatproducecomfortinothers！……Willyouletme？’
　　`Butwemarried’
　　`Whatistheuseofthinkingoflawsandordinances，’sheburstout，`iftheymakeyoumiserablewhenyouknowyouarecommittingnosin？’
　　`Butyouarecommittingasininnotlikingme。’
　　`Idolikeyou！ButIdidn’treflectitwouldbe-thatitwouldbesomuchmorethanthat……ForamanandwomantoliveonintimatetermswhenonefeelsasIdoisadultery，inanycircumstances，howeverlegal。There-I’vesaidit！……Willyouletme，Richard？’
　　`Youdistressme，Susanna，bysuchimportunity！’
　　`Whycan’tweagreetofreeeachother？Wemadethecompact，andsurelywecancancelit-notlegallyofcourse；butwecanmorally，especiallyasnonewinterests，intheshapeofchildren，havearisentobelookedafter。Thenwemightbefriends，andmeetwithoutpaintoeither。OhRichard，bemyfriendandhavepity！Weshallbothbedeadinafewyears，andthenwhatwillitmattertoanybodythatyourelievedmefromconstraintforalittlewhile？Idaresayyouthinkmeeccentric，orsuper-sensitive，orsomethingabsurd。Well-whyshouldIsufferforwhatIwasborntobe，ifitdoesn’thurtotherpeople？’
　　`Butitdoes-ithurtsme！Andyouvowedtoloveme。’
　　`Yes-that’sit！Iaminthewrong。Ialwaysam！Itisasculpabletobindyourselftolovealwaysastobelieveacreedalways，andassillyastovowalwaystolikeaparticularfoodordrink！’
　　`Anddoyoumean，bylivingawayfromme，livingbyyourself？’
　　`Well，ifyouinsisted，yes。ButImeantlivingwithJude。’
　　`Ashiswife？’
　　`AsIchoose。’
　　Phillotsonwrithed。
　　Suecontinued：`She，orhe，`wholetstheworld，orhisownportionofit，choosehisplanoflifeforhim，hasnoneedofanyotherfacultythantheapelikeoneofimitation。’J。S。Mill’swords，thoseare。Ihavebeenreadingitup。Whycan’tyouactuponthem？Iwishto，always。’
　　`WhatdoIcareaboutJ。S。Mill！’moanedhe。`Ionlywanttoleadaquietlife！DoyoumindmysayingthatIhaveguessedwhatneveronceoccurredtomebeforeourmarriage-thatyouwereinlove，andareinlove，withJudeFawley！’
　　`YoumaygoonguessingthatIam，sinceyouhavebegun。ButdoyousupposethatifIhadbeenIshouldhaveaskedyoutoletmegoandlivewithhim？’
　　TheringingoftheschoolbellsavedPhillotsonfromthenecessityofreplyingatpresenttowhatapparentlydidnotstrikehimasbeingsuchaconvincingargumentumadverecundiamasshe，inherlossofcourageatthelastmoment，meantittoappear。Shewasbeginningtobesopuzzlingandunstateablethathewasreadytothrowinwithherotherlittlepeculiaritiestheextremestrequestwhichawifecouldmake。
　　Theyproceededtotheschoolsthatmorningasusual，Sueenteringtheclass-room，wherehecouldseethebackofherheadthroughtheglasspartitionwheneverheturnedhiseyesthatway。Ashewentongivingandhearinglessonshisforeheadandeyebrowstwitchedfromconcentratedagitationofthought，tillatlengthhetoreascrapfromasheetofscribblingpaperandwrote：
　　Yourrequestpreventsmyattendingtoworkatall。Idon’tknowwhatIamdoing！Wasitseriouslymade？Hefoldedthepieceofpaperverysmall，andgaveittoalittleboytotaketoSue。Thechildtoddledoffintotheclass-room。Phillotsonsawhiswifeturnandtakethenote，andthebendofherprettyheadasshereadit，herlipsslightlycrisped，topreventundueexpressionunderfireofsomanyyoungeyes。Hecouldnotseeherhands，butshechangedherposition，andsoonthechildreturned，bringingnothinginreply。Inafewminutes，however，oneofSue’sclassappeared，withalittlenotesimilartohisown。Thesewordsonlywerepencilledtherein：