首页 >出版文学> Jude the Obscure>第27章

第27章

  `Aboutsixweeks。IreturnedfromSydneythreemonthsago。Ialwayslikedthisbusiness,youknow。’
  `Iwonderyoucametothisplace!’
  `Well,asIsay,Ithoughtyouweregonetoglory,andbeinginLondonIsawthesituationinanadvertisement。Nobodywaslikelytoknowmehere,evenifIhadminded,forIwasneverinChristminsterinmygrowingup。’
  `WhydidyoureturnfromAustralia?’
  `Oh,Ihadmyreasons……Thenyouarenotadonyet?’
  `No。’
  `Notevenareverend?’
  `No。’
  `Norsomuchasaratherreverenddissentinggentleman?’
  `IamasIwas。’
  `True-youlookso。’Sheidlyallowedherfingerstorestonthepullofthebeer-engineassheinspectedhimcritically。Heobservedthatherhandsweresmallerandwhiterthanwhenhehadlivedwithher,andthatonthehandwhichpulledtheenginesheworeanornamentalringsetwithwhatseemedtoberealsapphires-whichtheywere,indeed,andweremuchadmiredassuchbytheyoungmenwhofrequentedthebar。
  `Soyoupassashavingalivinghusband,’hecontinued。
  `Yes。IthoughtitmightbeawkwardifIcalledmyselfawidow,asIshouldhaveliked。’
  `True。Iamknownherealittle。’
  `Ididn’tmeanonthataccount-forasIsaidIdidn’texpectyou。Itwasforotherreasons。’
  `Whatwerethey?’
  `Idon’tcaretogointothem,’sherepliedevasively。`Imakeaverygoodliving,andIdon’tknowthatIwantyourcompany。’
  Hereachappiewithnochin,andamoustachelikealady’seyebrow,cameandaskedforacuriouslycompoundeddrink,andArabellawasobligedtogoandattendtohim。`Wecan’ttalkhere,’shesaid,steppingbackamoment。`Can’tyouwaittillnine?Sayyes,anddon’tbeafool。Icangetoffdutytwohourssoonerthanusual,ifIask。Iamnotlivinginthehouseatpresent。’
  Hereflectedandsaidgloomily,`I’llcomeback。Isupposewe’dbetterarrangesomething。’
  `Oh,botherarranging!I’mnotgoingtoarrangeanything!’
  `ButImustknowathingortwo;and,asyousay,wecan’ttalkhere。Verywell;I’llcallforyou。’
  Depositinghisunemptiedglasshewentoutandwalkedupanddownthestreet。HerewasarudeflounceintothepellucidsentimentalityofhissadattachmenttoSue。ThoughArabella’swordwasabsolutelyuntrustworthy,hethoughttheremightbesometruthinherimplicationthatshehadnotwishedtodisturbhim,andhadreallysupposedhimdead。However,therewasonlyonethingnowtobedone,andthatwastoplayastraightforwardpart,thelawbeingthelaw,andthewomanbetweenwhomandhimselftherewasnomoreunitythanbetweeneastandwestbeingintheeyeoftheChurchonepersonwithhim。
  HavingtomeetArabellahere,itwasimpossibletomeetSueatAlfredstonashehadpromised。Ateverythoughtofthisapanghadgonethroughhim;buttheconjuncturecouldnotbehelped。Arabellawasperhapsanintendedinterventiontopunishhimforhisunauthorizedlove。Passingtheevening,therefore,inadesultorywaitingaboutthetownwhereinheavoidedtheprecinctsofeverycloisterandhall,becausehecouldnotbeartobeholdthem,herepairedtothetavernbarwhilethehundredandonestrokeswereresoundingfromtheGreatBellofCardinalCollege,acoincidencewhichseemedtohimgratuitousirony。Theinnwasnowbrilliantlylightedup,andthescenewasaltogethermorebriskandgay。Thefacesofthebarmaidenshadrisenincolour,eachhavingapinkflushonhercheek;theirmannerswerestillmorevivaciousthanbefore-moreabandoned,moreexcited,moresensuous,andtheyexpressedtheirsentimentsanddesireslesseuphemistically,laughinginalackadaisicaltone,withoutreserve。
  Thebarhadbeencrowdedwithmenofallsortsduringtheprevioushour,andhehadheardfromwithoutthehubbuboftheirvoices;butthecustomerswerefeweratlast。HenoddedtoArabella,andtoldherthatshewouldfindhimoutsidethedoorwhenshecameaway。
  `Butyoumusthavesomethingwithmefirst,’shesaidwithgreatgoodhumour。`Justanearlynight-cap:Ialwaysdo。Thenyoucangooutandwaitaminute,asitisbestweshouldnotbeseengoingtogether。’
  Shedrewacoupleofliqueurglassesofbrandy;andthoughshehadevidently,fromhercountenance,alreadytakeninenoughalcoholeitherbydrinkingor,moreprobably,fromtheatmosphereshehadbreathedforsomanyhours,shefinishedhersquickly。Healsodrankhis,andwentoutsidethehouse。
  Inafewminutesshecame,inathickjacketandahatwithablackfeather。`llivequitenear,’shesaid,takinghisarm,`andcanletmyselfinbyalatch-keyatanytime。Whatarrangementdoyouwanttocometo?’
  `Oh-noneinparticular,’heanswered,thoroughlysickandtired,histhoughtsagainrevertingtoAlfredston,andthetrainhedidnotgoby;theprobabledisappointmentofSuethathewasnottherewhenshearrived,andthemissedpleasureofhercompanyonthelongandlonelyclimbbystarlightupthehillstoMarygreen。`loughttohavegonebackreally!
  Myauntisonherdeathbed,Ifear。’
  `I’llgooverwithyouto-morrowmorning。IthinkIcouldgetadayoff。’
  TherewassomethingparticularlyuncongenialintheideaofArabella,whohadnomoresympathythanatigresswithhisrelationsorhim,comingtothebedsideofhisdyingaunt,andmeetingSue。Yethesaid,`Ofcourse,ifyou’dliketo,youcan。’
  `Well,thatwe’llconsider……Now,untilwehavecometosomeagreementitisawkwardourbeingtogetherhere-whereyouareknown,andIamgettingknown,thoughwithoutanysuspicionthatIhaveanythingtodowithyou。Aswearegoingtowardsthestation,supposewetakethenine-fortytraintoAldbrickham?Weshallbethereinlittlemorethanhalfanhour,andnobodywillknowusforonenight,andweshallbequitefreetoactaswechoosetillwehavemadeupourmindswhetherwe’llmakeanythingpublicornot。’
  `Asyoulike。’
  `ThenwaittillIgettwoorthreethings。Thisismylodging。
  SometimeswhenlateIsleepatthehotelwhereIamengaged,sonobodywillthinkanythingofmystayingout。’
  Shespeedilyreturned,andtheywentontotherailway,andmadethehalf-hour’sjourneytoAldbrickham,wheretheyenteredathird-rateinnnearthestationintimeforalatesupper。
  JudetheObscureChapter27III-ixOnthemorrowbetweennineandhalf-pasttheywerejourneyingbacktoChristminster,theonlytwooccupantsofacompartmentinathird-classrailway-carriage。
  Having,likeJude,maderatherahastytoilettocatchthetrain,Arabellalookedalittlefrowsy,andherfacewasveryfarfrompossessingtheanimationwhichhadcharacterizeditatthebarthenightbefore。Whentheycameoutofthestationshefoundthatshestillhadhalfanhourtosparebeforeshewasdueatthebar。TheywalkedinsilencealittlewayoutofthetowninthedirectionofAlfredston。Judelookedupthefarhighway。
  `Ah……poorfeebleme!’hemurmuredatlast。
  `What?’saidshe。
  `ThisistheveryroadbywhichIcameintoChristminsteryearsagofullofplans!’
  `Well,whatevertheroadisIthinkmytimeisnearlyup,asI
  havetobeinthebarbyeleveno’clock。AndasIsaid,Ishan’taskforthedaytogowithyoutoseeyouraunt。Soperhapswehadbetterparthere。I’dsoonernotwalkupChiefStreetwithyou,sincewe’vecometonoconclusionatall。’
  `Verywell。ButyousaidwhenweweregettingupthismorningthatyouhadsomethingyouwishedtotellmebeforeIleft?’
  `SoIhad-twothings-oneinparticular。Butyouwouldn’tpromisetokeepitasecret。I’lltellyounowifyoupromise?AsanhonestwomanIwishyoutoknowit……ItwaswhatIbegantellingyouinthenight-aboutthatgentlemanwhomanagedtheSydneyhotel。’Arabellaspokesomewhathurriedlyforher。`You’llkeepitclose?’
  `Yes-yes-Ipromise!’saidJudeimpatiently。`OfcourseIdon’twanttorevealyoursecrets。’
  `WheneverImethimoutforawalk,heusedtosaythathewasmuchtakenwithmylooks,andhekeptpressingmetomarryhim。IneverthoughtofcomingbacktoEnglandagain;andbeingoutthereinAustralia,withnohomeofmyownafterleavingmyfather,Iatlastagreed,anddid。’
  `What-marryhim?’
  `Yes。’
  `Regularly-legally-inchurch?’
  `Yes。AndlivedwithhimtillshortlybeforeIleft。Itwasstupid,Iknow;butIdid!There,nowI’vetoldyou。Don’trounduponme!HetalksofcomingbacktoEngland,pooroldchap。Butifhedoes,hewon’tbelikelytofindme。’
  Judestoodpaleandfixed。
  `Whythedevildidn’tyoutellmelast,night!’hesaid。
  `Well-Ididn’t……Won’tyoumakeitupwithme,then?’
  `Sointalkingof`yourhusband’tothebargentlemenyoumeanthim,ofcourse-notme!’
  `Ofcourse……Come,don’tfussaboutit。’
  `Ihavenothingmoretosay!’repliedJude。`Ihavenothingatalltosayaboutthe-crime-you’veconfessedto!’
  `Crime!Pooh。Theydon’tthinkmuchofsuchasthatoverthere!
  Lotsof’emdoit……Well,ifyoutakeitlikethatIshallgobacktohim!Hewasveryfondofme,andwelivedhonourableenough,andasrespectableasanymarriedcoupleinthecolony!HowdidIknowwhereyouwere?’
  `Iwon’tgoblamingyou。Icouldsayagooddeal;butperhapsitwouldbemisplaced。Whatdoyouwishmetodo?’
  `Nothing。TherewasonethingmoreIwantedtotellyou;butI
  fancywe’veseenenoughofoneanotherforthepresent!Ishallthinkoverwhatyousaidaboutyourcircumstances,andletyouknow。’
  Thustheyparted。Judewatchedherdisappearinthedirectionofthehotel,andenteredtherailwaystationcloseby。Findingthatitwantedthree-quartersofanhourofthetimeatwhichhecouldgetatrainbacktoAlfredston,hestrolledmechanicallyintothecityasfarastotheFourways,wherehestoodashehadsooftenstoodbefore,andsurveyedChiefStreetstretchingahead,withitscollegeaftercollege,inpicturesquenessunrivalledexceptbysuchContinentalvistasastheStreetofPalacesinGenoa;thelinesofthebuildingsbeingasdistinctinthemorningairasinanarchitecturaldrawing。ButJudewasfarfromseeingorcriticizingthesethings;theywerehiddenbyanindescribableconsciousnessofArabella’smidnightcontiguity,asenseofdegradationathisrevivedexperienceswithher,ofherappearanceasshelayasleepatdawn,whichsetuponhismotionlessfacealookasofoneaccurst。Ifhecouldonlyhavefeltresentmenttowardsherhewouldhavebeenlessunhappy;buthepitiedwhilehecontemnedher。
  Judeturnedandretracedhissteps。Drawingagaintowardsthestationhestartedathearinghisnamepronounced-lessatthenamethanatthevoice。TohisgreatsurprisenootherthanSuestoodlikeavisionbeforehim-herlookbodefulandanxiousasinadream,herlittlemouthnervous,andherstrainedeyesspeakingreproachfulinquiry。
  `Oh,Jude-Iamsoglad-tomeetyoulikethis!’shesaidinquick,unevenaccentsnotfarfromasob。Thensheflushedassheobservedhisthoughtthattheyhadnotmetsincehermarriage。
  Theylookedawayfromeachothertohidetheiremotion,tookeachother’shandwithoutfurtherspeech,andwentontogetherawhile,tillsheglancedathimwithfurtivesolicitude。`IarrivedatAlfredstonstationlastnight,asyouaskedmeto,andtherewasnobodytomeetme!ButI
  reachedMarygreenalone,andtheytoldmeAuntwasatriflebetter。Isatupwithher,andasyoudidnotcomeallnightIwasfrightenedaboutyou-Ithoughtthatperhaps,whenyoufoundyourselfbackintheoldcity,youwereupsetat-atthinkingIwas-married,andnotthereasIusedtobe;andthatyouhadnobodytospeakto;soyouhadtriedtodrownyourgloom-asyoudidatthatformertimewhenyouweredisappointedaboutenteringasastudent,andhadforgottenyourpromisetomethatyouneverwouldagain。Andthis,Ithought,waswhyyouhadn’tcometomeetme!’
  `Andyoucametohuntmeup,anddeliverme,likeagoodangel!’
  `IthoughtIwouldcomebythemorningtrainandtrytofindyou-incase-incase——’
  `Ididthinkofmypromisetoyou,dear,continually!IshallneverbreakoutagainasIdid,Iamsure。Imayhavebeendoingnothingbetter,butIwasnotdoingthat-Iloathethethoughtofit。’