`Aboutsixweeks。IreturnedfromSydneythreemonthsago。Ialwayslikedthisbusiness,youknow。’
`Iwonderyoucametothisplace!’
`Well,asIsay,Ithoughtyouweregonetoglory,andbeinginLondonIsawthesituationinanadvertisement。Nobodywaslikelytoknowmehere,evenifIhadminded,forIwasneverinChristminsterinmygrowingup。’
`WhydidyoureturnfromAustralia?’
`Oh,Ihadmyreasons……Thenyouarenotadonyet?’
`No。’
`Notevenareverend?’
`No。’
`Norsomuchasaratherreverenddissentinggentleman?’
`IamasIwas。’
`True-youlookso。’Sheidlyallowedherfingerstorestonthepullofthebeer-engineassheinspectedhimcritically。Heobservedthatherhandsweresmallerandwhiterthanwhenhehadlivedwithher,andthatonthehandwhichpulledtheenginesheworeanornamentalringsetwithwhatseemedtoberealsapphires-whichtheywere,indeed,andweremuchadmiredassuchbytheyoungmenwhofrequentedthebar。
`Soyoupassashavingalivinghusband,’hecontinued。
`Yes。IthoughtitmightbeawkwardifIcalledmyselfawidow,asIshouldhaveliked。’
`True。Iamknownherealittle。’
`Ididn’tmeanonthataccount-forasIsaidIdidn’texpectyou。Itwasforotherreasons。’
`Whatwerethey?’
`Idon’tcaretogointothem,’sherepliedevasively。`Imakeaverygoodliving,andIdon’tknowthatIwantyourcompany。’
Hereachappiewithnochin,andamoustachelikealady’seyebrow,cameandaskedforacuriouslycompoundeddrink,andArabellawasobligedtogoandattendtohim。`Wecan’ttalkhere,’shesaid,steppingbackamoment。`Can’tyouwaittillnine?Sayyes,anddon’tbeafool。Icangetoffdutytwohourssoonerthanusual,ifIask。Iamnotlivinginthehouseatpresent。’
Hereflectedandsaidgloomily,`I’llcomeback。Isupposewe’dbetterarrangesomething。’
`Oh,botherarranging!I’mnotgoingtoarrangeanything!’
`ButImustknowathingortwo;and,asyousay,wecan’ttalkhere。Verywell;I’llcallforyou。’
Depositinghisunemptiedglasshewentoutandwalkedupanddownthestreet。HerewasarudeflounceintothepellucidsentimentalityofhissadattachmenttoSue。ThoughArabella’swordwasabsolutelyuntrustworthy,hethoughttheremightbesometruthinherimplicationthatshehadnotwishedtodisturbhim,andhadreallysupposedhimdead。However,therewasonlyonethingnowtobedone,andthatwastoplayastraightforwardpart,thelawbeingthelaw,andthewomanbetweenwhomandhimselftherewasnomoreunitythanbetweeneastandwestbeingintheeyeoftheChurchonepersonwithhim。
HavingtomeetArabellahere,itwasimpossibletomeetSueatAlfredstonashehadpromised。Ateverythoughtofthisapanghadgonethroughhim;buttheconjuncturecouldnotbehelped。Arabellawasperhapsanintendedinterventiontopunishhimforhisunauthorizedlove。Passingtheevening,therefore,inadesultorywaitingaboutthetownwhereinheavoidedtheprecinctsofeverycloisterandhall,becausehecouldnotbeartobeholdthem,herepairedtothetavernbarwhilethehundredandonestrokeswereresoundingfromtheGreatBellofCardinalCollege,acoincidencewhichseemedtohimgratuitousirony。Theinnwasnowbrilliantlylightedup,andthescenewasaltogethermorebriskandgay。Thefacesofthebarmaidenshadrisenincolour,eachhavingapinkflushonhercheek;theirmannerswerestillmorevivaciousthanbefore-moreabandoned,moreexcited,moresensuous,andtheyexpressedtheirsentimentsanddesireslesseuphemistically,laughinginalackadaisicaltone,withoutreserve。
Thebarhadbeencrowdedwithmenofallsortsduringtheprevioushour,andhehadheardfromwithoutthehubbuboftheirvoices;butthecustomerswerefeweratlast。HenoddedtoArabella,andtoldherthatshewouldfindhimoutsidethedoorwhenshecameaway。
`Butyoumusthavesomethingwithmefirst,’shesaidwithgreatgoodhumour。`Justanearlynight-cap:Ialwaysdo。Thenyoucangooutandwaitaminute,asitisbestweshouldnotbeseengoingtogether。’
Shedrewacoupleofliqueurglassesofbrandy;andthoughshehadevidently,fromhercountenance,alreadytakeninenoughalcoholeitherbydrinkingor,moreprobably,fromtheatmosphereshehadbreathedforsomanyhours,shefinishedhersquickly。Healsodrankhis,andwentoutsidethehouse。
Inafewminutesshecame,inathickjacketandahatwithablackfeather。`llivequitenear,’shesaid,takinghisarm,`andcanletmyselfinbyalatch-keyatanytime。Whatarrangementdoyouwanttocometo?’
`Oh-noneinparticular,’heanswered,thoroughlysickandtired,histhoughtsagainrevertingtoAlfredston,andthetrainhedidnotgoby;theprobabledisappointmentofSuethathewasnottherewhenshearrived,andthemissedpleasureofhercompanyonthelongandlonelyclimbbystarlightupthehillstoMarygreen。`loughttohavegonebackreally!
Myauntisonherdeathbed,Ifear。’
`I’llgooverwithyouto-morrowmorning。IthinkIcouldgetadayoff。’
TherewassomethingparticularlyuncongenialintheideaofArabella,whohadnomoresympathythanatigresswithhisrelationsorhim,comingtothebedsideofhisdyingaunt,andmeetingSue。Yethesaid,`Ofcourse,ifyou’dliketo,youcan。’
`Well,thatwe’llconsider……Now,untilwehavecometosomeagreementitisawkwardourbeingtogetherhere-whereyouareknown,andIamgettingknown,thoughwithoutanysuspicionthatIhaveanythingtodowithyou。Aswearegoingtowardsthestation,supposewetakethenine-fortytraintoAldbrickham?Weshallbethereinlittlemorethanhalfanhour,andnobodywillknowusforonenight,andweshallbequitefreetoactaswechoosetillwehavemadeupourmindswhetherwe’llmakeanythingpublicornot。’
`Asyoulike。’
`ThenwaittillIgettwoorthreethings。Thisismylodging。
SometimeswhenlateIsleepatthehotelwhereIamengaged,sonobodywillthinkanythingofmystayingout。’
Shespeedilyreturned,andtheywentontotherailway,andmadethehalf-hour’sjourneytoAldbrickham,wheretheyenteredathird-rateinnnearthestationintimeforalatesupper。
JudetheObscureChapter27III-ixOnthemorrowbetweennineandhalf-pasttheywerejourneyingbacktoChristminster,theonlytwooccupantsofacompartmentinathird-classrailway-carriage。
Having,likeJude,maderatherahastytoilettocatchthetrain,Arabellalookedalittlefrowsy,andherfacewasveryfarfrompossessingtheanimationwhichhadcharacterizeditatthebarthenightbefore。Whentheycameoutofthestationshefoundthatshestillhadhalfanhourtosparebeforeshewasdueatthebar。TheywalkedinsilencealittlewayoutofthetowninthedirectionofAlfredston。Judelookedupthefarhighway。
`Ah……poorfeebleme!’hemurmuredatlast。
`What?’saidshe。
`ThisistheveryroadbywhichIcameintoChristminsteryearsagofullofplans!’
`Well,whatevertheroadisIthinkmytimeisnearlyup,asI
havetobeinthebarbyeleveno’clock。AndasIsaid,Ishan’taskforthedaytogowithyoutoseeyouraunt。Soperhapswehadbetterparthere。I’dsoonernotwalkupChiefStreetwithyou,sincewe’vecometonoconclusionatall。’
`Verywell。ButyousaidwhenweweregettingupthismorningthatyouhadsomethingyouwishedtotellmebeforeIleft?’
`SoIhad-twothings-oneinparticular。Butyouwouldn’tpromisetokeepitasecret。I’lltellyounowifyoupromise?AsanhonestwomanIwishyoutoknowit……ItwaswhatIbegantellingyouinthenight-aboutthatgentlemanwhomanagedtheSydneyhotel。’Arabellaspokesomewhathurriedlyforher。`You’llkeepitclose?’
`Yes-yes-Ipromise!’saidJudeimpatiently。`OfcourseIdon’twanttorevealyoursecrets。’
`WheneverImethimoutforawalk,heusedtosaythathewasmuchtakenwithmylooks,andhekeptpressingmetomarryhim。IneverthoughtofcomingbacktoEnglandagain;andbeingoutthereinAustralia,withnohomeofmyownafterleavingmyfather,Iatlastagreed,anddid。’
`What-marryhim?’
`Yes。’
`Regularly-legally-inchurch?’
`Yes。AndlivedwithhimtillshortlybeforeIleft。Itwasstupid,Iknow;butIdid!There,nowI’vetoldyou。Don’trounduponme!HetalksofcomingbacktoEngland,pooroldchap。Butifhedoes,hewon’tbelikelytofindme。’
Judestoodpaleandfixed。
`Whythedevildidn’tyoutellmelast,night!’hesaid。
`Well-Ididn’t……Won’tyoumakeitupwithme,then?’
`Sointalkingof`yourhusband’tothebargentlemenyoumeanthim,ofcourse-notme!’
`Ofcourse……Come,don’tfussaboutit。’
`Ihavenothingmoretosay!’repliedJude。`Ihavenothingatalltosayaboutthe-crime-you’veconfessedto!’
`Crime!Pooh。Theydon’tthinkmuchofsuchasthatoverthere!
Lotsof’emdoit……Well,ifyoutakeitlikethatIshallgobacktohim!Hewasveryfondofme,andwelivedhonourableenough,andasrespectableasanymarriedcoupleinthecolony!HowdidIknowwhereyouwere?’
`Iwon’tgoblamingyou。Icouldsayagooddeal;butperhapsitwouldbemisplaced。Whatdoyouwishmetodo?’
`Nothing。TherewasonethingmoreIwantedtotellyou;butI
fancywe’veseenenoughofoneanotherforthepresent!Ishallthinkoverwhatyousaidaboutyourcircumstances,andletyouknow。’
Thustheyparted。Judewatchedherdisappearinthedirectionofthehotel,andenteredtherailwaystationcloseby。Findingthatitwantedthree-quartersofanhourofthetimeatwhichhecouldgetatrainbacktoAlfredston,hestrolledmechanicallyintothecityasfarastotheFourways,wherehestoodashehadsooftenstoodbefore,andsurveyedChiefStreetstretchingahead,withitscollegeaftercollege,inpicturesquenessunrivalledexceptbysuchContinentalvistasastheStreetofPalacesinGenoa;thelinesofthebuildingsbeingasdistinctinthemorningairasinanarchitecturaldrawing。ButJudewasfarfromseeingorcriticizingthesethings;theywerehiddenbyanindescribableconsciousnessofArabella’smidnightcontiguity,asenseofdegradationathisrevivedexperienceswithher,ofherappearanceasshelayasleepatdawn,whichsetuponhismotionlessfacealookasofoneaccurst。Ifhecouldonlyhavefeltresentmenttowardsherhewouldhavebeenlessunhappy;buthepitiedwhilehecontemnedher。
Judeturnedandretracedhissteps。Drawingagaintowardsthestationhestartedathearinghisnamepronounced-lessatthenamethanatthevoice。TohisgreatsurprisenootherthanSuestoodlikeavisionbeforehim-herlookbodefulandanxiousasinadream,herlittlemouthnervous,andherstrainedeyesspeakingreproachfulinquiry。
`Oh,Jude-Iamsoglad-tomeetyoulikethis!’shesaidinquick,unevenaccentsnotfarfromasob。Thensheflushedassheobservedhisthoughtthattheyhadnotmetsincehermarriage。
Theylookedawayfromeachothertohidetheiremotion,tookeachother’shandwithoutfurtherspeech,andwentontogetherawhile,tillsheglancedathimwithfurtivesolicitude。`IarrivedatAlfredstonstationlastnight,asyouaskedmeto,andtherewasnobodytomeetme!ButI
reachedMarygreenalone,andtheytoldmeAuntwasatriflebetter。Isatupwithher,andasyoudidnotcomeallnightIwasfrightenedaboutyou-Ithoughtthatperhaps,whenyoufoundyourselfbackintheoldcity,youwereupsetat-atthinkingIwas-married,andnotthereasIusedtobe;andthatyouhadnobodytospeakto;soyouhadtriedtodrownyourgloom-asyoudidatthatformertimewhenyouweredisappointedaboutenteringasastudent,andhadforgottenyourpromisetomethatyouneverwouldagain。Andthis,Ithought,waswhyyouhadn’tcometomeetme!’
`Andyoucametohuntmeup,anddeliverme,likeagoodangel!’
`IthoughtIwouldcomebythemorningtrainandtrytofindyou-incase-incase——’
`Ididthinkofmypromisetoyou,dear,continually!IshallneverbreakoutagainasIdid,Iamsure。Imayhavebeendoingnothingbetter,butIwasnotdoingthat-Iloathethethoughtofit。’
第27章