ButthesightoftheHighStreetsoonrestoredhisequanimity。Onotheroccasionshehadbeenpushedthroughit,eitherbytheJampotorMissJones,sorapidlythathecouldgatheronlythemostfleetingimpressions。To-dayhecouldlingerandlinger;hedid。ThetwonicestshopswereMannings’thehairdressersandPonting’sthebook-shop,butRosethegrocer’s,andCoulter’stheconfectioner’swereverygood。Mr。Manningwasanartist。Hedidnotsimplyputasimperingbustwithanelaborateheadofhairinhiswindowandleaveitatthat——hedid,indeed,placethereasmilingladywithawonderfuljewelledcombandaradiantrowofteeth,butaroundthishebuiltupamagnificentworldofsilverbrushes,tortoise-shellcombs,essencesandperfumesandpowders,jarsandbottlesandboxes。Manningwasthefinestartistinthetown。Ponting,atthetopofthestreetjustatthecorneroftheClose,wasanartisttoo,butinquiteanotherfashion。Pontingwasthebestestablished,mostsacredandseriousbooksellerinthecounty。Inthedayswhenthenew“Waverley“wasthesensationofthemomentMr。Ponting,grandfatherofthepresentMr。Ponting,hadbeeninquiteconstantcorrespondencewithMr。Southey,andMr。Coleridge,andhadonce,whenonavisittoLondon,spokentothegreatLordByronhimself。
Thistraditionofaristocracyremained,andthepresentMr。PoutingalwaysadvisedtheBishopwhattoreadandwasconsultedbyMrs。
Lamb,ouronlyauthoress,onquestionsofpublishersandeditionsandsuchtechnicalpoints。ForallthisJeremy,athispresentstageofinterest,wouldhavecarednothingevenhadheknownit,butwhathedidcareforweretherowsofcalf-boundbookswithlittleridgesofgold,thatmadeafinewallacrossthewindowwithanoldprintoftheCathedralandtheCloseinthemiddleofthem。InsidePontingstherewasahushasofthestudyandthechurchcombined。
Itwasaratherdarkshopwithrowsandrowsofbooksdisappearingintotheceiling,andonegraveandunnaturallyoldyoungmanbehindthecounter。JeremydidnotknowwhatheshoulddoaboutHamlet,sohebroughthiminside,onlytodiscovertohishorrorthatthefiercestofalltheCanons,CanonWaterbury,heldtheflooroftheshop。CanonWaterburyhadablackbeardandabitingtongue。HehadoncewarnedJeremyofftheCathedralgrassinavoiceofthunder,andJeremyhadneverforgottenit。Heglarednowandpulledhisbeard,butHamletfortunatelybehavedwell,andtheoldyoungmandiscoveredJeremy’snotepaperwithinaveryshortperiod。
ThensuddenlytheCanonspoke。
“Dogsshouldnotbeinsideshops,“Hesaid,asthoughhewerecondemningsomeonetodeath。
“Iknow,“saidJeremyfrankly。“Iwantedtotiehimuptosomethingandtherewasnothingtotiehimupto。“
“Whatdidyoubringhimoutforatall?“saidtheCanon。
“Becausehe’sgottohaveexercise,“saidJeremy,discovering,tohisowndelightedsurprise,thathewasnotfrightenedintheleast。
“Oh,hashe?Idon’tknowwhatpeoplekeepdogsfor。“
Andthenhestampedoutoftheshop。
Jeremyregardedthisinthelightofavictoryandmarchedaway,hisheadmoreintheairthanever。Heshouldnowhavehurriedhome。ThemiddaychimeshadrungoutandJeremy’sdutieswereperformed。Buthelingered,listeningtothelastnotesofthechimes,hearingthecriesoftheCathedralchoir-boysastheymovedacrossthegreentothechoir-school,watchingallthepeoplehurryupanddownthestreet。Ah,therewastheCastlecarriage!PerhapstheoldCountesswasinsideit。Hehadonlyseenheronce,atsomeserviceintheCathedraltowhichhismotherhadtakenhim,butshehadmadeagreatimpressiononhimwithhersnow-whitehair。Hehadheardpeoplespeakofheras“awickedoldwoman。“Perhapsshewasinsidethecarriage……butheonlysawtheCastlecoachmanandfootmanandthecoronetonthedoor。Itrolledslowlyupthehillwithitsfineairofcommandingthewholeworld——thenitdisappearedaroundthecorneroftheClose。
JeremydecidedthenthathewouldgohomeacrossthegreenanddownOrchardLane。HehadawishtoentertheCathedralforamoment;
suchavisitwould,afterall,completetheroundofhisexperiences。HehadneverenteredtheCathedralalone,andnow,ashesawitfacinghim,sovastandmajesticandquiet,acrossthesun-drenchedgreen,hefeltasuddenfearandawe。HefoundaringinastonenearthewestendthroughwhichhemightfastenHamlet’slead,then,slowlypushingbacktheheavydoor,hepassedinside。
TheCathedralwasutterlyquiet。Thevastnave,stainedwithreflectionsofpurpleandgreenandruby,wasvagueandunsubstantial,allthelittlewoodenchairshuddledtogethertotherightandleft,leavingagreatpaththatsweptuptotheHighAltarundershaftsoflightthatfelllikesearchlightsfromthewindows。
Thetombsandthestatuespeereddimlyfromtheshadow,andthegreateastendwindow,withitsdeeppurplelight,seemedtodrawthewholenaveupintoitsheartandholditthere。Allwasspaceandsilence,lightanddusk;alittledollofavergermovedinthefardistance,anoldwoman,soquietthatsheseemedonlyashadow,passedhim,wipingthelittlechairswithaduster。
ItseemedtoJeremythathehadneverbeenintheCathedralbefore;
hestoodthere,breathless,asthoughinamomentsomethingmustinevitablyhappen。Althoughhedidnotthinkofit,themomentwasoneofasequencethathadcometohimduringtheyear——hisentryintothetheatrewithhisuncle,hisfirstconversationwiththesea-captain,thehourwhenhismotherhadbeensoill,theeveningonthebeachwhenCharlottehadbeenfrightened,thetimewhenHamlethadbeenlostandhehadsleptwithhimunderatree。Allthesemomentshadbeensomethingmorethanmerelythemselves,hadhadsomethingbehindthemorinsidethemforwhichsimplytheystoodaswordsstandforpictures。Heanalysed,ofcourse,nothing,beingaperfectlyhealthysmallboy,butifafterwardshelookedbackthesewerethemomentsthathesawasoneseesstationsonajourney。Onedayhewouldknowforwhattheystood。
Hesimplynowwaitedthereasthoughheexpectedsomethingtohappen。Thoughtsslippedthroughhismindquitecasually,whetherHamletwerebehavingwelloutside,whattheoldladydidwhenshewastiredofdusting,whothestonefigurelyingnearhimmightbe,afigureveryfinewithhisruffandhispeakedbeard,hisarmsfolded,histoespointingupwards,whetherthebodywereinsidethestonelikeamummy,orunderneaththegroundsome-where;howstrangelydifferentthenavelookednowfromitsSundayshow,andwhatfunitwouldbetorunracesallthewaydownandseewhocouldreachthegoldenangelsoverthereredosfirst;hefeltnoreverence,andyetadeepreverence,nofear,but,nevertheless,awe;hewaswarmandhappyandcomfortable,andyetsuddenly,givingalittleshudder,heslippedoutintothesunlight,releasedHamletandstartedforhome。
II
Backagaininthebosomofhisfamilyhefeltthattheywerebeginningtobeawareofhisdeparture。
“Whatshallwedothisevening,Jeremy——yourlastevening?“saidhismother。
Everyonelookedathim。
“Oh,Idon’tknow,“hesaiduncomfortably。“Justasusual,I
suppose。“
“You’remakinghimfeeluncomfortable,“saidAuntAmy,wholovedtoexplainquiteobviousthings。“Youwantittobejustanordinaryevening,dear,don’tyou?“
“Oh,Idon’tknow,“hesaidagain,hatinghisaunt。
“Idon’tthinkthatquitethewaytospeaktoyouraunt,myson,“
saidhisfather。“Weonlyinquireoutofkindness,thinkingtopleaseyou。No,Mary,nomore。Friday——onehelping——“
“Jeremymighthaveanotherasit’shislastday,Isuggest,“saidAuntAmy,whowasdeterminedtobepleasant。
“Idon’twantany,thankyou,“saidJeremy,althoughitwastreaclepudding,whichheloved。
“Well,Ithink,“saidMrs。Cole,“thatwe’llhavehighteaathalf-
pastseven,andthechildrenshallstayupafterwardsandwe’llhave’MidshipmanEasy。’“
Jeremylovedhismotherintenselyatthatmoment。Howdidsheknowsoexactlywhatwasright?Shemadesolittledisturbance,wassoquietandwasneverangry,andyetshewasalwaysrightwhentheotherswerealwayswrong。Sheknewthataboveallthingshelovedhightea——fishpieandboiledeggsandteaandjamandcake——ahorriblemealthathislaterjudgmentwouldutterlycondemn,butneverthelesssomethingsocosyandsocomfortablethatnolatermealwouldeverbeabletorivalitinthosequalities。
“Oh,thatwillbelovely!“hesaid,hisfaceshiningallover。
Nevertheless,astheafternoonadvancedastrangenewsenseofinsecurity,unhappinessandforlornnesscreptincreasinglyuponhim。
Herealisedthathehadthatmorningsaidgood-byetothetown,andnowhefeltasthoughhehad,insomeway,hurtorinsultedit。And,alltheafternoon,hewassayingfarewelltothehouse。Hedidnotwanderfromroomtoroom,butrathersatupintheschoolroompretendingtomendafishingrodwhichMr。Monkhadgivenhimthatsummer。Hedidnotreallycareabouttherod——hewasnoteventhinkingofit。Heheardallthesoundsofthehouseashesatthere。Hecouldtellalltheclocks,thatoneboomingsoftlythehalfhourswasinhismother’sbedroom,therewasarattleandawhirrandtherecamethecuckoo-clockonthestairs,therewasthefast,cheapcarelesschatterofthelittleclockontheschoolroommantelpiece,therewasthewhisperofMissJones’swatchwhichshehadputoutonthetabletomarkthetimeofMary’ssewingby。Therewerealltheregularsoundsofthehouse。Thedistantclosingofdoors,deepdownintheheartofthehousesomeonewasusingasewingmachinesomewhere,voicescameupoutofthevoidandfadedagain,someonewhistled,someonesang。Hisgloomincreased。Hewasexchangingaworldheknewforaworldthathedidnotknow,andhecouldnotescapethefeelingthathewas,insomeway,insultingthisworldthathewasleaving。Hebotheredhimselfalltheafternoonwithunnecessarystupidaffairstocoverhisdeepdiscomfort。Hewhistledcarelesslyandoutoftune,hepokedthefireandwalkedabout。HewasincreasinglyawareofHamletandMary。
Marywasdeterminedsohardthatshewouldshownoemotionatallthatshewasapainfulsighttowitness。Shescarcelyspoketohim,andonlyansweredinmonosyllablesifheaskedhersomething。
AndHamlethadsuddenlydiscoveredthattheatmosphereofthehousewasunusual。Hehadexpected,inthefirstplace,tobetakenforawalkthatafternoon;thenhismasterwasverybusydoingnothing,whichwasmostunusual。Thenatteatimehisworstsuspicionswereconfirmed。Jeremysuddenlymadeafussofhim,pouringhisteaintohissaucer,givinghimapieceofbreadandjamandanextralumpofsugar。Hamletdrankhisteaandatehisbreadandjamthoughtfully。
Theywereverynice,butwhatwasthematter?
Helookedupthroughhishairanddiscoveredthathismaster’seyeswererestlessandunhappy,andthathewasthinkingofthingsthatdisturbedhim。Hewentawaytothefireand,sittingonhishaunches,gazinginhismetaphysicalwayattheflames,consideredthematter。Jeremycameovertohimand,drawinghimbacktohim,laidhisheaduponhiskneeandsoheldhim。Hamletdidnotmove,saveoccasionallytosigh,and,onceortwice,tosnapinasuddenwaythathehadatanimaginaryfly。Hethoughtthatinallprobabilityhismasterhadbeenpunishedforsomething,andinthishewasdeeplysympathetic,neverseeingwhyhismasterneedbepunishedforanythingandresentingthestupidityofhumanbeingswiththeireternaldesiretobe,insomewayorother,assertingtheirauthority。
Gradually,infrontofthehotfire,bothboyanddogfellasleep。
Jeremy’sdreamswereconfused,bewildered,distressing;hewasstrugglingtofindsomething,wasalwaysclimbinghigherandhighertodiscoverit,onlytobetoldthat,intheend,hewasintheplacewherehehadbegun。
Hamlet’sdreamwasofanenormoussucculentbonethatwaspulledawayfromhimsosoonashesnappedatit。Theybothawokewithastarttofindthatitwastimeforhightea。
第41章