Hedidnotseeitallashesatonhishorse——hewas,asyet,tooyoung;buthedidfeelthecontrastbetweenthedinandglarearoundhimandthesilenceanddarkbeyond,and,afterwards,lookingback,heknewthathehadfoundinthatsamecontrasttheveryheartofromance。Asitwas,hesimplyclutchedhishorse’sbeautifulheadandwaitedfortheridetobegin……
Theywereoff!Hefelthishorsequiverunderhim,hesawthemansionsoftheTwo-HeadedGiantandtheFatLadysliptotheright,thelightseemedtoswingliketheskirtofsomeone’sdress,upwardsacrossthefloor,andfromtheheartofthegoldenwomanandthekingandtheminstrelascreamburstforthasthoughtheywereannouncingtheendoftheworld。Afterthathehadnoclearideaastowhatoccurred。Hewasswungintospace,andallthelifethathadbeensostationary,thebooths,thelights,themenandwomen,theverystarswentswingingwithhimasthoughtocheerhimon;thehorseunderhimgallopedbefore,andthefasterhegallopedthewilderwasthemusicandthedizziertheworld。Hewasexultant,omnipotent,supreme。Hehadlongknownthatthisglorywassomewhereifitcouldonlyhefound,allhisdaysheseemedtohavebeensearchingforit;hebeathishorse’sneck,hedrovehislegsagainsthissides。“Goon!Goon!Goon!“hecried。“Faster!Faster!
Faster!“
Thestrangestthingsseemedtorisetohisnoticeandthenfallagain——apeakedpoliceman’shat,flowers,asuddenflameofgas,thestaringeyesanddeadwhitearmsofthegoldenwoman,theflyingformsofthehorsesinfrontofhim。Alltheworldwasonhorseback,alltheworldwasracinghigherandhigher,fasterandfaster。Hesawsomeonenearhimriseontohishorse’sbackandstandonit,wavinghisarms。Hewouldliketohavedonethat,buthefoundthathewaspartofhishorse,asthoughhehadbeengluedtoit。Heshouted,hecriedaloud,hewassohappythathethoughtofnooneandnothing……Theflamedancedabouthiminacircle,heseemedtorisesohighthattherewasasuddenstillness,hewasintheveryheartofthestars;thencamethesuprememomentwhen,ashehadalwaysknown,thatonedayhewouldbe,hewasmasteroftheworld……Then,likeLucifer,hefell。Slowlythestarsreceded,themusicslackened,peoplerockedontotheirfeetagain……TheTwo-HeadedGiantslippedhackoncemoreintohisplace,hesawthesinisterladystilldevouringhersupper,womenlookingupathimgaped。Hishorsegavealastlittleleapanddied。
Thismarvellousexperienceherepeatedfourtimes,andeverytimewithanecstasymorecompletethanthelast。Herushedtoaheight,hefell,herushedagain,hefell,andateveryreturntoasoberlifehisoneintentionwasinstantlytobeoffonhissteedoncemore。Hewasabouttostartonhisfifthjourney,hehadpaidhishalfpenny,hewassittingforwardwithhishandsontheblackmane,hiseyes,staring,werefilledalreadywiththeglorythatheknewwascomingtohim,hischeekswerecrimson,hishatonthebackofhishead,hishairflying。Heheardavoice,quietandcool,alittlebelowhim,butverynear:
“Jeremy……Jeremy。Comeoffthat。You’vegottogohome。“
HelookeddownandsawhisUncleSamuel。
IV
Itwasallover;heknewatoncethatitwasallover。
Asheslippeddownfromhisdearhorsehegavetheglossydarkmaneonelastpat;then,withalittlesigh,hefoundhisfeet,stumbledoverthewoodenstepsandwasathisuncle’sside。
UncleSamuellookedqueerenoughwithasquashyblackhat,ablackcloakflungoverhisshoulders,andalargecherry-woodpipeinhismouth。Jeremylookedupathimdefiantly。
“Well,“saidUncleSamuelsarcastically。“It’snothingtoyou,I
suppose,thatthetown-crierisatthismomentringinghisbellforyouupanddowntheMarketPlace?“
“Doesfatherknow?“Jeremyaskedquickly。
“Hedoes,“answeredUncleSamuel。
Jeremycastonelastlookaroundtheplace;themerry-go-roundwasengagedoncemoreuponitswildcourse,thehorsesrisingandfalling,thegoldenwomanclashingthecymbals,theminstrelstriking,withhisdeadeyesfixeduponspace,hisharp。Allaboutmenwereshouting;thenoiseofthecoconutstores,ofthecircus,oftheband,ofthehuckstersandthecharlatans,thecryingofchildren,thelaughterofwomen——allthenoiseoftheFairbathedJeremyuptohisforehead。
Heswaminitforthelasttime。Hetriedtocatchonelastglimpseofhiscoal-blackcharger,then,withasigh,hesaid,turningtohisuncle:“Isupposewe’dbetterbegoing。“
“Yes,Isupposewehad,“saidUncleSamuel。
TheythreadedtheirwaythroughtheFair,passedthewoodenstile,andwereonceagaininthestreets,darkandancientunderthemoon,withallthenoiseandglarebehindthem。Jeremywasthinkingtohimself:“Itdoesn’tmatterwhatFatherdoes,orhowangryheis,thatwasworthit。“Itwasstrangehowlittleafraidhewas。Onlyayearagotobepunishedbyhisfatherhadbeenaterriblething。
Now,sincehismother’sillnessinthesummer,hisfatherhadseemedtohavenoinfluenceoverhim。
“Didtheybendyou,ordidyoujustcomeyourself,Uncle?“askedJeremy。
“Ihappenedtobetakingtheairinthatdirection,“saidUncleSamuel。
“Ihopeyoudidn’tcomeawaybeforeyouwantedto,“saidJeremypolitely。
“Ididnot,“saidhisuncle。
“IsFatherveryangry?“askedJeremy。
“It’smorethanlikelyhemaybe。TheTownCrier’sexpensive。“
“Ididn’tthinkthey’dknow,“explainedJeremy。“Imeanttogetbackintime。“
“Yourfatherdidn’tgotochurch,“saidUncleSamuel。“Soyoursinswerequicklydiscovered。“
Jeremysaidnothing。
JustastheywereclimbingOrangeStreethesaid:
“UncleSamuel,IthinkI’llbeahorse-trainer。“
“Oh,willyou?……Well,beforeyoutrainhorsesyou’vegottotrainyourself。Thinkofothersbesideyourself。Afinestateyou’veputyourmotherintoto-night。“
Jeremylookeddistressed。“She’dknowifIwasdead,someonewouldcomeandtellher,“hesaid。“ButI’lltellMotherI’msorry……
ButIwon’ttellFather,“headded。
“Whynot?“askedUncleSamuel。
“Becausehe’llmakesuchafuss。AndI’mnotsorry。Henevertoldmenotto。“
“No,butyouknewyouhadn’tto。“
“I’mverygoodatobeying,“explainedJeremy,“ifsomeonesayssomething;butifsomeonedoesn’t,thereisn’tanyonetoobey,“
UncleSamuelshookhishead。“You’llbeabitofaprig,myson,ifyouaren’tcareful,“hesaid。
“Ithinkitwillbesplendidtobeahorse-trainer,“saidJeremy。
“Itwasalovelyhorseto-night……AndIonlyspentashilling。I
hadthreeandthreepencehalfpenny。“
AtthedooroftheirhouseUncleSamuelstoppedandsaid:
“Lookhere,youngman,theysayit’stimeyouwenttoschool,andI
don’tthinkthey’refarwrong。Therearethingswiserheadsthanyourscanunderstand,andyou’dbettertaketheirwordforit。Inthefuture,ifyouwanttogorunningoffsomewhere,you’dbettercontentyourselfwithmystudioandmakeamessthere。“
“Oh,mayI?“criedJeremydelighted。
Thatstudiohadbeenalwaysaforbiddenplacetothem,andhad,therefore,itsairofenchantingmystery。
“Won’tyoureallymindmycoming?“heasked。
“Ishallprobablyhateit,“answeredhisuncle;“butthere’snothingIwouldn’tdoforthefamily。“
Theboywalkedtohisfather’sstudyandknockedonthedoor。Hedidhavethen,atthesoundofthatknock,amomentofpanic。Thehousewassosilent,andheknewsowellwhatwouldfollowtheopeningofthedoor。Andtheworstofitwasthathewasnotsorryintheleast。Heseemedtobeindifferentandsuperior,asthoughnopunishmentcouldtouchhim。
“Comein!“saidhisfather。
Hepushedopenthedoorandentered。Thescenethatfollowedwasgraveandsad,andyet,intheend,strangelyunimpressive。Hisfathertalkedtoomuch。AshetalkedJeremy’sthoughtswouldflybacktothecoal-blackhorseandtothatmomentwhenhehadseemedtoflyintotheveryheartofthestars。
“Ah,Jeremy,howcouldyou?“saidhisfather。“Isobediencenothingtoyou?DoyouknowhowGodpunishesdisobedience?Thinkwhataterriblethingisadisobedientman!“Thenonalowerscale:“I
reallydon’tknowwhattodowithyou。Youknewthatyouwerenottogonearthatwickedplace。“
“Youneversaid——“interruptedJeremy。
“Nonsense!Youknewwellenough。Youwillbreakyourmother’sheart。“
“I’lltellherI’msorry,“heinterruptedquickly。
“Ifyouarereallysorry——“saidhisfather。
“I’mnotsorryIwent,“saidJeremy,“butI’msorryIhurtMother。“
TheendofitwasthatJeremyreceivedsixstrokesonthehandwitharuler。Mr。Colewasnotgoodatthiskindofthing,andtwicehemissedJeremy’shandaltogether,andlookedveryfoolish。Itwasnotanedifyingscene。Jeremylefttheroom,hisheadhigh,hisspiritobstinate;andhisfatherremained,puzzled,distressed,ataloss,anxioustodowhatwasright,butunabletotouchhissonatall。
Jeremywentuptohisroom。Heopenedhiswindowandlookedout。Hecouldsmelltheburntleavesofthebonfire。Therewasnoflamenow,buthefanciedthathecouldseeawhiteshadowwhereithadbeen。
Then,onthewind,camethemusicoftheFair。
“Tum——te——Tum……Tum——te——Tum……Whirr——Whirr——Whirr——Bang——
Bang。“
Somewhereanowlcried,andthenanotherowlanswered。
Herubbedhissorehandagainsthistrousers;then,thinkingofhisblackhorse,hesmiled。
Hewasafreeman。Inaweekhewouldgotoschool;thenhewouldgotoCollege;thenhewouldbeahorsetrainer。
第39章