首页 >出版文学> Jeremy>第39章

第39章

  Hedidnotseeitallashesatonhishorse——hewas,asyet,tooyoung;buthedidfeelthecontrastbetweenthedinandglarearoundhimandthesilenceanddarkbeyond,and,afterwards,lookingback,heknewthathehadfoundinthatsamecontrasttheveryheartofromance。Asitwas,hesimplyclutchedhishorse’sbeautifulheadandwaitedfortheridetobegin……
  Theywereoff!Hefelthishorsequiverunderhim,hesawthemansionsoftheTwo-HeadedGiantandtheFatLadysliptotheright,thelightseemedtoswingliketheskirtofsomeone’sdress,upwardsacrossthefloor,andfromtheheartofthegoldenwomanandthekingandtheminstrelascreamburstforthasthoughtheywereannouncingtheendoftheworld。Afterthathehadnoclearideaastowhatoccurred。Hewasswungintospace,andallthelifethathadbeensostationary,thebooths,thelights,themenandwomen,theverystarswentswingingwithhimasthoughtocheerhimon;thehorseunderhimgallopedbefore,andthefasterhegallopedthewilderwasthemusicandthedizziertheworld。Hewasexultant,omnipotent,supreme。Hehadlongknownthatthisglorywassomewhereifitcouldonlyhefound,allhisdaysheseemedtohavebeensearchingforit;hebeathishorse’sneck,hedrovehislegsagainsthissides。“Goon!Goon!Goon!“hecried。“Faster!Faster!
  Faster!“
  Thestrangestthingsseemedtorisetohisnoticeandthenfallagain——apeakedpoliceman’shat,flowers,asuddenflameofgas,thestaringeyesanddeadwhitearmsofthegoldenwoman,theflyingformsofthehorsesinfrontofhim。Alltheworldwasonhorseback,alltheworldwasracinghigherandhigher,fasterandfaster。Hesawsomeonenearhimriseontohishorse’sbackandstandonit,wavinghisarms。Hewouldliketohavedonethat,buthefoundthathewaspartofhishorse,asthoughhehadbeengluedtoit。Heshouted,hecriedaloud,hewassohappythathethoughtofnooneandnothing……Theflamedancedabouthiminacircle,heseemedtorisesohighthattherewasasuddenstillness,hewasintheveryheartofthestars;thencamethesuprememomentwhen,ashehadalwaysknown,thatonedayhewouldbe,hewasmasteroftheworld……Then,likeLucifer,hefell。Slowlythestarsreceded,themusicslackened,peoplerockedontotheirfeetagain……TheTwo-HeadedGiantslippedhackoncemoreintohisplace,hesawthesinisterladystilldevouringhersupper,womenlookingupathimgaped。Hishorsegavealastlittleleapanddied。
  Thismarvellousexperienceherepeatedfourtimes,andeverytimewithanecstasymorecompletethanthelast。Herushedtoaheight,hefell,herushedagain,hefell,andateveryreturntoasoberlifehisoneintentionwasinstantlytobeoffonhissteedoncemore。Hewasabouttostartonhisfifthjourney,hehadpaidhishalfpenny,hewassittingforwardwithhishandsontheblackmane,hiseyes,staring,werefilledalreadywiththeglorythatheknewwascomingtohim,hischeekswerecrimson,hishatonthebackofhishead,hishairflying。Heheardavoice,quietandcool,alittlebelowhim,butverynear:
  “Jeremy……Jeremy。Comeoffthat。You’vegottogohome。“
  HelookeddownandsawhisUncleSamuel。
  IV
  Itwasallover;heknewatoncethatitwasallover。
  Asheslippeddownfromhisdearhorsehegavetheglossydarkmaneonelastpat;then,withalittlesigh,hefoundhisfeet,stumbledoverthewoodenstepsandwasathisuncle’sside。
  UncleSamuellookedqueerenoughwithasquashyblackhat,ablackcloakflungoverhisshoulders,andalargecherry-woodpipeinhismouth。Jeremylookedupathimdefiantly。
  “Well,“saidUncleSamuelsarcastically。“It’snothingtoyou,I
  suppose,thatthetown-crierisatthismomentringinghisbellforyouupanddowntheMarketPlace?“
  “Doesfatherknow?“Jeremyaskedquickly。
  “Hedoes,“answeredUncleSamuel。
  Jeremycastonelastlookaroundtheplace;themerry-go-roundwasengagedoncemoreuponitswildcourse,thehorsesrisingandfalling,thegoldenwomanclashingthecymbals,theminstrelstriking,withhisdeadeyesfixeduponspace,hisharp。Allaboutmenwereshouting;thenoiseofthecoconutstores,ofthecircus,oftheband,ofthehuckstersandthecharlatans,thecryingofchildren,thelaughterofwomen——allthenoiseoftheFairbathedJeremyuptohisforehead。
  Heswaminitforthelasttime。Hetriedtocatchonelastglimpseofhiscoal-blackcharger,then,withasigh,hesaid,turningtohisuncle:“Isupposewe’dbetterbegoing。“
  “Yes,Isupposewehad,“saidUncleSamuel。
  TheythreadedtheirwaythroughtheFair,passedthewoodenstile,andwereonceagaininthestreets,darkandancientunderthemoon,withallthenoiseandglarebehindthem。Jeremywasthinkingtohimself:“Itdoesn’tmatterwhatFatherdoes,orhowangryheis,thatwasworthit。“Itwasstrangehowlittleafraidhewas。Onlyayearagotobepunishedbyhisfatherhadbeenaterriblething。
  Now,sincehismother’sillnessinthesummer,hisfatherhadseemedtohavenoinfluenceoverhim。
  “Didtheybendyou,ordidyoujustcomeyourself,Uncle?“askedJeremy。
  “Ihappenedtobetakingtheairinthatdirection,“saidUncleSamuel。
  “Ihopeyoudidn’tcomeawaybeforeyouwantedto,“saidJeremypolitely。
  “Ididnot,“saidhisuncle。
  “IsFatherveryangry?“askedJeremy。
  “It’smorethanlikelyhemaybe。TheTownCrier’sexpensive。“
  “Ididn’tthinkthey’dknow,“explainedJeremy。“Imeanttogetbackintime。“
  “Yourfatherdidn’tgotochurch,“saidUncleSamuel。“Soyoursinswerequicklydiscovered。“
  Jeremysaidnothing。
  JustastheywereclimbingOrangeStreethesaid:
  “UncleSamuel,IthinkI’llbeahorse-trainer。“
  “Oh,willyou?……Well,beforeyoutrainhorsesyou’vegottotrainyourself。Thinkofothersbesideyourself。Afinestateyou’veputyourmotherintoto-night。“
  Jeremylookeddistressed。“She’dknowifIwasdead,someonewouldcomeandtellher,“hesaid。“ButI’lltellMotherI’msorry……
  ButIwon’ttellFather,“headded。
  “Whynot?“askedUncleSamuel。
  “Becausehe’llmakesuchafuss。AndI’mnotsorry。Henevertoldmenotto。“
  “No,butyouknewyouhadn’tto。“
  “I’mverygoodatobeying,“explainedJeremy,“ifsomeonesayssomething;butifsomeonedoesn’t,thereisn’tanyonetoobey,“
  UncleSamuelshookhishead。“You’llbeabitofaprig,myson,ifyouaren’tcareful,“hesaid。
  “Ithinkitwillbesplendidtobeahorse-trainer,“saidJeremy。
  “Itwasalovelyhorseto-night……AndIonlyspentashilling。I
  hadthreeandthreepencehalfpenny。“
  AtthedooroftheirhouseUncleSamuelstoppedandsaid:
  “Lookhere,youngman,theysayit’stimeyouwenttoschool,andI
  don’tthinkthey’refarwrong。Therearethingswiserheadsthanyourscanunderstand,andyou’dbettertaketheirwordforit。Inthefuture,ifyouwanttogorunningoffsomewhere,you’dbettercontentyourselfwithmystudioandmakeamessthere。“
  “Oh,mayI?“criedJeremydelighted。
  Thatstudiohadbeenalwaysaforbiddenplacetothem,andhad,therefore,itsairofenchantingmystery。
  “Won’tyoureallymindmycoming?“heasked。
  “Ishallprobablyhateit,“answeredhisuncle;“butthere’snothingIwouldn’tdoforthefamily。“
  Theboywalkedtohisfather’sstudyandknockedonthedoor。Hedidhavethen,atthesoundofthatknock,amomentofpanic。Thehousewassosilent,andheknewsowellwhatwouldfollowtheopeningofthedoor。Andtheworstofitwasthathewasnotsorryintheleast。Heseemedtobeindifferentandsuperior,asthoughnopunishmentcouldtouchhim。
  “Comein!“saidhisfather。
  Hepushedopenthedoorandentered。Thescenethatfollowedwasgraveandsad,andyet,intheend,strangelyunimpressive。Hisfathertalkedtoomuch。AshetalkedJeremy’sthoughtswouldflybacktothecoal-blackhorseandtothatmomentwhenhehadseemedtoflyintotheveryheartofthestars。
  “Ah,Jeremy,howcouldyou?“saidhisfather。“Isobediencenothingtoyou?DoyouknowhowGodpunishesdisobedience?Thinkwhataterriblethingisadisobedientman!“Thenonalowerscale:“I
  reallydon’tknowwhattodowithyou。Youknewthatyouwerenottogonearthatwickedplace。“
  “Youneversaid——“interruptedJeremy。
  “Nonsense!Youknewwellenough。Youwillbreakyourmother’sheart。“
  “I’lltellherI’msorry,“heinterruptedquickly。
  “Ifyouarereallysorry——“saidhisfather。
  “I’mnotsorryIwent,“saidJeremy,“butI’msorryIhurtMother。“
  TheendofitwasthatJeremyreceivedsixstrokesonthehandwitharuler。Mr。Colewasnotgoodatthiskindofthing,andtwicehemissedJeremy’shandaltogether,andlookedveryfoolish。Itwasnotanedifyingscene。Jeremylefttheroom,hisheadhigh,hisspiritobstinate;andhisfatherremained,puzzled,distressed,ataloss,anxioustodowhatwasright,butunabletotouchhissonatall。
  Jeremywentuptohisroom。Heopenedhiswindowandlookedout。Hecouldsmelltheburntleavesofthebonfire。Therewasnoflamenow,buthefanciedthathecouldseeawhiteshadowwhereithadbeen。
  Then,onthewind,camethemusicoftheFair。
  “Tum——te——Tum……Tum——te——Tum……Whirr——Whirr——Whirr——Bang——
  Bang。“
  Somewhereanowlcried,andthenanotherowlanswered。
  Herubbedhissorehandagainsthistrousers;then,thinkingofhisblackhorse,hesmiled。
  Hewasafreeman。Inaweekhewouldgotoschool;thenhewouldgotoCollege;thenhewouldbeahorsetrainer。