首页 >出版文学> Miss Billie Married>第34章
  Bertramwasnotquitehimselfthatnight。Billyadmittedthem。Shehadplainlybeenwatchingandwaiting。Arkwrightneverforgotthelookonherfaceashereyesmethis。Therewasacuriousmixtureofterror,hurtpride,relief,andshame,overtoppedbyafierceloyaltywhichalmostseemedtosayaloudthewords:Don’tyoudaretoblamehim!’
  Arkwright’sheartachedwithsympathyandadmirationattheproudlycourageouswayinwhichBillycarriedoffthenextfewpainfulminutes。Evenwhenhebadehergoodnightalittlelater,onlyhereyessaidthankyou。’Herlipsweredumb。
  ArkwrightoftenwenthomewithBertramafterthat。Notthatitwasalwaysnecessary——
  farfromit。Sometime,indeed,elapsedbeforehehadquitethesameexcuseagainforhispresence。
  ButhehadfoundthatoccasionallyhecouldgetBertramhomeearlierbyadroitsuggestionsofonekindoranother;andmoreandmorefrequentlyhewassucceedingingettinghimhomeforagameofchess。
  Bertramlikedchess,andwasafineplayer。
  Sincebreakinghisarmhehadturnedtogameswiththefeverisheagernessofonewholooksforsomethingabsorbingtofillanunrestfulmind。
  ItwasSeaver’sskillinchessthathadatfirstattractedBertramtothemanlongago;butBertramcouldbeathimeasily——tooeasilyformuchpleasureinitnow。Sotheydidnotplaychessoftenthesedays。Bertramhadfoundthat,inspiteofhisinjury,hecouldstilltakepartinothergames,andsomeofthem,ifnotsointricateaschess,wereatleastmoreapttotakehismindoffhimself,especiallyiftherewereabitofmoneyuptoaddzestandinterest。
  Asithappened,however,BertramlearnedonedaythatArkwrightcouldplaychess——andplaywell,too,ashediscoveredaftertheirfirstgametogether。ThisfactcontributednotalittletosuchsuccessasArkwrightwashavinginhiseffortstoweanBertramfromhisundesirablecompanions;forBertramsoonfoundoutthatArkwrightwasmorethanamatchforhimself,andtheoccasionalgameshedidsucceedinwinningonlywhettedhisappetiteformore。
  Manyaneveningnow,therefore,wasspentbythetwomeninBertram’sden,withBillyanxiouslyhoveringnear,hereyeslonginglywatchingeitherherhusband’sabsorbedfaceortheprettylittleredandwhiteivoryfigures,whichseemedtopossesssowonderfulapowertoholdhisattention。Inspiteofherjoyatthechessmen’sefficacyinkeepingBertramathome,however,shewasalmostjealousofthem。
  Mr。Arkwright,couldn’tyoushow_me_howtoplay,sometime?’shesaidwistfully,oneevening,whenthemomentaryabsenceofBertramhadleftthetwoalonetogether。IusedtowatchBertramandMarieplayyearsago;butIneverknewhowtoplaymyself。NotthatI
  canseewherethefunisinjustsittingstaringatachessboardforhalfanhouratatime,though!
  ButBertramlikesit,andsoI——Iwanttolearntostarewithhim。Willyouteachme?’
  Ishouldbegladto,’smiledArkwright。
  Thenwillyoucome,maybe,sometimeswhenBertramisatthedoctor’s?HegoeseveryTuesdayandFridayatthreeo’clockfortreatment。
  I’dratheryoucamethenfortworeasons:
  first,becauseIdon’twantBertramtoknowI’mlearning,tillIcanplay_some_;and,secondly,because——becauseIdon’twanttotakeyouaway——fromhim。’
  Thelastwordswerespokenverylow,andwereaccompaniedbyapainfulblush。ItwasthefirsttimeBillyhadeverhintedtoArkwright,inwords,thatsheunderstoodwhathewastryingtodo。
  I’llcomenextTuesday,’promisedArkwright,withacheerfullyunobservantair。ThenBertramcamein,bringingthebookofChessProblems,forwhichhehadgoneup-stairs。
  Promptlyatthreeo’clockTuesdayafternoonArkwrightappearedattheStrata,andforthenexthourBillydidherbesttolearnthenamesandthemovesoftheprettylittleivorymen。
  Butattheendofthehourshewasalmostreadytogiveupindespair。
  Ifthereweren’tsomanykinds,andiftheydidn’tallinsistondoingsomethingdifferent,itwouldn’tbesobad,’shesighed。Buthowcanyoubeexpectedtorememberwhichgoesdiagonal,andwhichcrisscross,andwhichcan’tgobutonesquare,andwhichcanskip’wayacrosstheboard,’speciallywhenthatlittlepawn-thingcangostraightahead_two_squaressometimes,andthenextminuteonlyoneexceptwhenittakesthings,andthenitgoescrookedonesquare
  andwhenthattiresomelittlehorsetriestogoallwaysatonce,andcanjump’roundandhurdleover_anybody’s_head,eventheking’s——howcanyouexpectfolkstoremember?But,then,Bertramremembers,’sheadded,resolutely,soI
  guessIcan。’
  Wheneverpossible,afterthat,ArkwrightcameonTuesdaysandFridays,and,inspiteofherdoubts,Billydidverysoonbegintoremember。’
  SpurredbyhergreatdesiretoplaywithBertramandsurprisehim,Billysparednopainstolearnwellherlessons。Evenamongthebaby’sbooksandplaythingsthesedaysmightbefoundaManualofChess,’forBillypursuedherstudyatallhours;andsomenightsevenherdreamswereofruined,castleswherekingsandqueensandbishopsdisportedthemselves,withpawnsforservants,andwhereaweirdknightonhorsebackusedthecastle’shighesttowerforahurdle,landingalwaysahundredyardstoonesideofwherehewouldbeexpectedtocomedown。
  Itwasnotlong,ofcourse,beforeBillycouldplayagameofchess,afterafashion,butsheknewjustenoughtorealizethatsheactuallyknewnothing;andsheknew,too,thatuntilshecouldplayareallygoodgame,hermoveswouldnotholdBertram’sattentionforoneminute。
  Notatpresent,therefore,wasshewillingBertramshouldknowwhatshewasattemptingtodo。
  BillyhadnotyetlearnedwhatthegreatsurgeonhadsaidtoBertram。Sheknewonlythathisarmwasnobetter,andthathenevervoluntarilyspokeofhispainting。Overhernowseemedtobehangingavaguehorror。Somethingwasthematter。Sheknewthat。Butwhatitwasshecouldnotfathom。SherealizedthatArkwrightwastryingtohelp,andhergratitude,thoughsilent,knewnobounds。NoteventoAuntHannahorUncleWilliamcouldshespeakofthisthingthatwastroublingher。Thatthey,too,understood,inameasure,sherealized。Butstillshesaidnoword。Billywaswearingaproudlittleairofaloofnessthesedaysthatwasheart-
  breakingtothosewhosawitandreaditarightforwhatitwas:loyaltytoBertram,nomatterwhathappened。AndsoBillyporedoverherchessboardfeverishly,tirelessly,havingeverbeforeherlongingeyesthedeartimewhenBertram,acrossthetablefromher,shouldsithappilystaringforhalfanhouratamoveshehadmade。
  WhateverBilly’schess-playingwastosignify,however,inherownlife,itwasdestinedtoplayapartinthelivesoftwofriendsofhersthatwasmostunexpected。
  DuringBilly’sveryfirstlesson,asitchanced,AliceGreggorycalledandfoundBillyandArkwrightsoabsorbedintheirgamethattheydidnotatfirsthearElizaspeakhername。
  ThequickcolorthatflewtoArkwright’sfaceatsightofherselfwasconstruedatoncebyAliceasembarrassmentonhispartatbeingfoundtte--ttewithBertramHenshaw’swife。Andshedidnotlikeit。Shewasnotpleasedthathewasthere。Shewaslesspleasedthatheblushedforbeingthere。
  ItsohappenedthatAlicefoundhimthereagainseveraltimes。Alicegaveapianolessonattwoo’clockeveryTuesdayandFridayafternoontoalittleBeaconStreetneighborofBilly’s,andshehadfallenintothehabitofsteppingintoseeBillyforafewminutesafterward,whichbroughtherthereatalittlepastthree,justafterthechesslessonwaswellstarted。
  If,thefirsttimethatAliceGreggoryfoundArkwrightoppositeBillyatthechess-table,shewassurprisedanddispleased,thesecondandthirdtimesshewasmuchmoreso。Whenitfinallycametoheronedaywithsickeningillumination,thatalwaysthette--tteswereduringBertram’shouratthedoctor’s,shewasappalled。
  Whatcoulditmean?HadArkwrightgivenuphisfight?WasheplayingfalsetohimselfandtoBertrambytryingthus,onthesly,towintheloveofhisfriend’swife?Wasthisman,whomshehadsoadmiredforhisbravestand,andtowhomallunaskedshehadgivenherheart’sbestlovemorethepityofit!——wasthisidolofherstoshowfeetofclay,afterall?Shecouldnotbelieveit。Andyet——
  Sickatheart,butimbuedwiththedeterminationofarighteouscause,AliceGreggoryresolved,forBilly’ssake,towatchandwait。Ifnecessarysheshouldspeaktosomeone——thoughtowhomshedidnotknow。Billy’shappinessshouldnotbeputinjeopardyifshecouldhelpit。
  Indeed,no!
  Astheweekspassed,Alicecametobemoreandmoreuneasy,distressed,andgrieved。OfBillyshecouldbelievenoevil;butofArkwrightshewasbeginningtothinkshecouldbelieveeverythingthatwasdishonorableanddespicable。
  Andtobelievethatofthemanshestillloved——
  nowonderthatAlicedidnotlooknoractlikeherselfthesedays。
  Incensedatherselfbecauseshedidlovehim,angryathimbecauseheseemedtobeprovinghimselfsounworthyofthatlove,andgenuinelyfrightenedatwhatshethoughtwasthefast-
  approachingwreckofallhappinessforherdearfriend,Billy,Alicedidnotknowwhichwaytoturn。Atthefirstshehadtoldherselfconfidentlythatshewouldspeaktosomebody。’But,astimepassed,shesawtheimpracticabilityofthatidea。Speaktosomebody,indeed!Towhom?
  When?Where?Whatshouldshesay?Wherewasherrighttosayanything?Shewasnotdealingwithaparcelofnaughtychildrenwhohadpilferedthecakejar!Shewasdealingwithgrownmenandwomen,who,presumedly,knewtheirownaffairs,andwho,certainly,wouldresentanyinterferencefromher。Ontheotherhand,couldshestandcalmlybyandseeBertramlosehiswife,Arkwrighthishonor,Billyherhappiness,andherselfherfaithinhumannature,allbecausetodootherwisewouldbetomeddleinotherpeople’sbusiness?Apparentlyshecould,andshould。Atleastthatseemedtobetherlewhichshewasexpectedtoplay。
  ItwaswhenAlicehadreachedthisunhappyframeofmindthatArkwrighthimselfunexpectedlyopenedthedoorforher。
  ThetwowerealonetogetherinBertramHenshaw’sden。ItwasTuesdayafternoon。AlicehadcalledtofindBillyandArkwrightdeepintheirusualgameofchess。ThenamatterofdomesticaffairshadtakenBillyfromtheroom。
  I’mafraidI’llhavetobegonetenminutes,ormore,’shehadsaid,assherosefromthetablereluctantly。ButyoumightbeshowingAlicethemoves,Mr。Arkwright,’shehadadded,withalaugh,asshedisappeared。
  ShallIteachyouthemoves?’hehadsmiled,whentheywerealonetogether。
  Alice’sreplyhadbeensoindignantlyshortandsharpthatArkwright,afteramoment’spause,hadsaid,withawhimsicalsmilethatyetcarriedatouchofsadness:
  Iamforcedtosurmisefromyouranswerthatyouthinkitis_you_whoshouldbeteaching_me_moves。Atallevents,Iseemtohavebeenmakingsomemoveslatelythathavenotsuitedyou,judgingbyyouractions。HaveIoffendedyouinanyway,Alice?’
  Thegirlturnedwithaquickliftingofherhead。
  Aliceknewthatifeversheweretospeak,itmustbenow。Neveragaincouldshehopeforsuchanopportunityasthis。Suddenlythrowingcircumspectcautionquiteaside,shedeterminedthatshewouldspeak。SpringingtoherfeetshecrossedtheroomandseatedherselfinBilly’schairatthechess-table。
  Me!Offendme!’sheexclaimed,inalowvoice。AsifIweretheoneyouwereoffending!’
  Why,_Alice!_’murmuredtheman,inobviousstupefaction。
  Aliceraisedherhand,palmoutward。
  Nowdon’t,_please_don’tpretendyoudon’tknow,’shebegged,almostpiteously。Pleasedon’taddthattoalltherest。Oh,Iunderstand,ofcourse,it’snoneofmyaffairs,andIwasn’tgoingtospeak,’shechoked;but,to-day,whenyougavemethischance,Ihadto。AtfirstI
  couldn’tbelieveit,’sheplungedon,plainlyhurryingagainstBilly’sreturn。Afterallyou’dtoldmeofhowyoumeanttofightit——yourtigerskin。AndIthoughtitmerely_happened_
  thatyouwereherealonewithherthosedaysI
  came。Then,whenIfoundouttheywere_always_
  thedaysMr。Henshawwasawayatthedoctor’s,Ihadtobelieve。’
  Shestoppedforbreath。Arkwright,who,uptothismomenthadshownthathewascompletelymystifiedastowhatshewastalkingabout,suddenlyflushedapainfulred。Hewasobviouslyabouttospeak,butshepreventedhimwithaquickgesture。