Hewasnotsurprised,therefore,whenhereceivednoreplytohisring。
ThattherewastheslightesttruthinBessieBailey’sabsurdelopement’idea,Bertramdidnot,ofcourse,foraninstantbelieve。Theonlythingthatrankledaboutthatwasthefactthatshehadsuggestedsuchathing,andthatMissWinthropandthosesillychildrenhadheardher。HerecognizedhalfofBessie’sfriendsasneighborhoodyoungsters,andheknewverywellthattherewouldbemanyaquietlaughathisexpensearoundvariousBeaconStreetdinner-
tablesthatnight。Atthethoughtofthosedinner-tables,hescowledagain。_He_hadnodinner-table——atleast,hehadnodinneronit!
WhothemanmightbeBertramthoughthecouldeasilyguess。ItwaseitherArkwrightorCalderwell,ofcourse;andprobablythattiresomeAliceGreggorywasmixedupinitsomehow。
HedidwishBilly——
Sixo’clockcame,thenhalf-past。Bertramwasindeedfrightenednow,buthewasmoreangry,andstillmorehungry。Hehad,infact,reachedthatstateofblindunreasonablenesssaidtobepeculiartohungrymalesfromtimeimmemorial。
Attenminutesofsevenakeyclickedinthelockoftheouterdoor,andWilliamandBillyenteredthehall。
Itwasalmostdark。Bertramcouldnotseetheirfaces。Hehadnotlightedthehallatall。
Well,’hebegansharply,isthisthewayyoureceiveyourcallers,Billy?IcamehomeandfoundMissWinthropjustleaving——nooneheretoreceiveher!Where’veyoubeen?Where’sEliza?Where’smydinner?OfcourseIdon’tmeantoscold,Billy,butthereisalimittoevenmypatience——andit’sreachednow。Ican’thelpsuggestingthatifyouwouldtendtoyourhusbandandyourhomealittlemore,andgogallivantingoffwithCalderwellandArkwrightandAliceGreggoryalittleless,that——WhereisEliza,anyway?’hefinishedirritably,switchingonthelightswithasnap。
Therewasamomentofdeadsilence。AtBertram’sfirstwordsBillyandWilliamhadstoppedshort。Neitherhadmovedsince。NowWilliamturnedandbegantospeak,butBillyinterrupted。Shemetherhusband’sgazesteadily。
Iwillbedownatoncetogetyourdinner,’
shesaidquietly。Elizawillnotcometo-night。
Peteisdead。’
Bertramstartedforwardwithaquickcry。
Dead!Oh,Billy!Thenyouwere——_there!_
Billy!’
Buthiswifedidnotapparentlyhearhim。Shepassedhimwithoutturningherhead,andwentonupthestairs,leavinghimtomeetthesorrowful,accusingeyesofWilliam。
Theyounghusband’sapologieswereprofuseandabject。Bertramwasheartilyashamedofhimself,andwasmanenoughtoacknowledgeit。
AlmostonhiskneeshebeggedBillytoforgivehim;andinafrenzyofself-denunciationhefollowedherdownintothekitchenthatnight,piteouslybeseechinghertospeaktohim,tojust_look_athim,even,sothathemightknowhewasnotutterlydespised——thoughhedid,indeed,deservetobemorethandespised,hemoaned。
AtfirstBillydidnotspeak,orevenvouchsafeaglanceinhisdirection。Veryquietlyshewentaboutherpreparationsforasimplemeal,payingapparentlynomoreattentiontoBertramthanasifhewerenotthere。Butthatherearswereonlyseemingly,andnotreallydeaf,wasshownveryclearlyalittlelater,when,ataparticularlyabjectwailonthepartofthebabblingshadowatherheels,Billychokedintoalittlegasp,halflaughter,halfsob。Itwasalloverthen。Bertramhadherinhisarmsinatwinkling,whiletothefloorclatteredandrolledaknifeandahalf-peeledbakedpotato。
Naturally,afterthat,therecouldbenomoredignifiedsilencesonthepartoftheinjuredwife。
Therewere,instead,half-smiles,tears,sobs,atremuloustellingofPete’sgoingandhismessages,followedbyatearfullisteningtoBertram’sstoryofthetorturehehadenduredatthehandsofMissWinthrop,BessieBailey,andanempty,dinnerlesshouse。Andthus,inonecornerofthekitchen,sometimelater,ahungry,desperateWilliamfoundthem,thehalf-peeled,coldbakedpotatostillattheirfeet。
Tornbetweenhiscravingforfoodandhisdesirenottointerferewithanypossiblepeace-
making,Williamwasobviouslyhesitatingwhattodo,whenBillyglancedupandsawhim。Shesaw,too,atthesametime,theempty,blazinggas-stoveburner,andthepileofhalf-preparedpotatoes,towarmwhichtheburnerhadlongsincebeenlighted。Withalittlecryshebrokeawayfromherhusband’sarms。
Mercy!andhere’spoorUncleWilliam,blesshisheart,withnotathingtoeatyet!’
Theyallgotdinnerthen,together,withmanyasighandquick-comingtearaseverywheretheymetsomesadreminderofthegentleoldhandsthatwouldneveragainministertotheircomfort。
Itwasasilentmeal,andlittle,afterall,waseaten,thoughbraveattemptsatcheerfulnessandnaturalnessweremadebyallthree。Bertram,especially,talked,andtriedtomakesurethattheshadowonBilly’sfacewasatleastnottheonehisownconducthadbroughtthere。
Foryoudo——yousurelydoforgiveme,don’tyou?’hebegged,ashefollowedherintothekitchenafterthesorrymealwasover。
Why,yes,dear,yes,’sighedBilly,tryingtosmile。
Andyou’llforget?’
Therewasnoanswer。
Billy!Andyou’llforget?’Bertram’svoicewasinsistent,reproachful。
Billychangedcolorandbitherlip。Shelookedplainlydistressed。
Billy!’criedtheman,stillmorereproachfully。
But,Bertram,Ican’tforget——quiteyet,’
falteredBilly。
Bertramfrowned。Foraminutehelookedasifhewereabouttotakeupthematterseriouslyandargueitwithher;butthenextmomenthesmiledandtossedhisheadwithjauntyplayfulness——
Bertram,totellthetruth,hadnowhadquiteenoughofwhatheprivatelytermedscenes’andheroics’;and,manlike,hewasveryardentlylongingfortheoldeasy-goingfriendliness,withallunpleasantnessbanishedtooblivion。
Oh,butyou’llhavetoforget,’heclaimed,withcheeryinsistence,foryou’vepromisedtoforgiveme——andonecan’tforgivewithoutforgetting。
So,there!’hefinished,withasmilinglydeterminednow-everything-is-just-as-it-was-before’air。
Billymadenoresponse。Sheturnedhurriedlyandbegantobusyherselfwiththedishesatthesink。Inherheartshewaswondering:couldsheeverforgetwhatBertramhadsaid?Wouldanythingeverblotoutthoseawfulwords:Ifyouwouldtendtoyourhusbandandyourhomealittlemore,andgogallivantingoffwithCalderwellandArkwrightandAliceGreggoryalittleless——’?Itseemednowthatalways,forevermore,theywouldringinherears;always,forevermore,theywouldburndeeperanddeeperintohersoul。Andnotonce,inallBertram’sapologies,hadhereferredtothem——thosewordshehaduttered。Hehadnotsaidhedidnotmeanthem。Hehadnotsaidhewassorryhespokethem。Hehadignoredthem;andheexpectedthatnowshe,too,wouldignorethem。Asifshecould!’Ifyouwouldtendtoyourhusbandandyourhomealittlemore,andgogallivantingoffwithCalderwellandArkwrightandAliceGreggoryalittleless——’Oh,ifonlyshecould,indeed,——forget!
WhenBillywentup-stairsthatnightsheranacrossherTalktoYoungWives’inherdesk。
Withahalf-stifledcryshethrustitfarbackoutofsight。
Ihateyou,Ihateyou——withallyouroldtalkabout`brushingupagainstoutsideinterests’!’
shewhisperedfiercely。Well,I’ve`brushed’——andnowseewhatI’vegotforit!’
Later,however,afterBertramwasasleep,Billycreptoutofbedandgotthebook。Underthecarefullyshadedlampintheadjoiningroomsheturnedthepagessoftlytillshecametothesentence:
Perhapsitwouldbehardtofindamoreutterlyunreasonable,irritable,irresponsiblecreaturethanahungryman。’Withalongsighshebegantoread;andnotuntilsomeminuteslaterdidsheclosethebook,turnoffthelight,andstealbacktobed。
Duringthenextthreedays,untilafterthefuneralattheshabbylittleSouthBostonhouse,ElizaspentonlyabouthalfofeachdayattheStrata。This,muchtoherdistress,leftmanyofthehouseholdtasksforheryoungmistresstoperform。Billy,however,attackedeachnewdutywithafeverisheagernessthatseemedtomaketheperformanceofitverylikesomegladpenancedoneforpastmisdeeds。Andwhen——onthedayaftertheyhadlaidtheoldservantinhislastrestingplace——adespairingmessagecamefromElizatotheeffectthatnowhermotherwasveryill,andwouldneedhercare,BillypromptlytoldElizatostayaslongaswasnecessary;thattheycouldgetalongallrightwithouther。
But,Billy,what_are_wegoingtodo?’
Bertramdemanded,whenheheardthenews。Wemusthavesomebody!’
_I’m_goingtodoit。’
Nonsense!Asifyoucould!’scoffedBertram。
Billyliftedherchin。
Couldn’tI,indeed,’sheretorted。Doyourealize,youngman,howmuchI’vedonethelastthreedays?Howaboutthosemuffinsyouhadthismorningforbreakfast,andthatcakelastnight?Anddidn’tyouyourselfsaythatyouneverateabetterpuddingthanthatdatepuffyesterdaynoon?’
Bertramlaughedandshruggedhisshoulders。
Mydearlove,I’mnotquestioningyour_ability_todoit,’hesoothedquickly。Still,’headded,withawhimsicalsmile,ImustremindyouthatElizahasbeenherehalfthetime,andthatmuffinsanddatepuffs,howeverdelicious,aren’tallthereistorunningabighouselikethis。
Besides,justbesensible,Billy,’hewentonmoreseriously,ashenotedtherebelliousgleamcomingintohisyoungwife’seyes;you’dknowyoucouldn’tdoit,ifyou’djuststoptothink。There’stheCarletonscomingtodinnerMonday,andmystudioTeato-morrow,tosaynothingoftheSymphonyandtheopera,andtheconcertsyou’dlosebecauseyouweretoodeadtiredtogotothem。
YouknowhowitwaswiththatconcertyesterdayafternoonwhichAliceGreggorywantedyoutogotowithher。’
Ididn’t——want——togo,’chokedBilly,underherbreath。
Andthere’syourmusic。Youhaven’tdoneathingwiththatfordays,yetonlylastweekyoutoldmethepublisherswerehurryingyouforthatlastsongtocompletethegroup。’
Ihaven’tfeltlike——writing,’stammeredBilly,stillhalfunderherbreath。
Ofcourseyouhaven’t,’triumphedBertram。
You’vebeentoodeadtired。Andthat’sjustwhatIsay。Billy,you_can’t_doitallyourself!’
ButIwantto。Iwantto——totendtothings,’falteredBilly,withahalf-fearfulglanceintoherhusband’sface。
BillywashearingveryloudlynowthataccusingIfyou’dtendtoyourhusbandandyourhomealittlemore——’Bertram,however,wasnothearingit,evidently。Indeed,heseemednevertohaveheardit——muchlesstohavespokenit。
`Tendtothings,’’helaughedlightly。
Well,you’llhaveenoughtodototendtothemaid,Ifancy。Anyhow,we’regoingtohaveone。
I’lljuststepintooneofthose——whatdoyoucall’em?——intelligenceofficesonmywaydownandsendoneup,’hefinished,ashegavehiswifeagood-bykiss。
AnhourlaterBilly,strugglingwiththebroomandthedrawing-roomcarpet,wascalledtothetelephone。Itwasherhusband’svoicethatcametoher。
Billy,forheaven’ssake,takepityonme。
Won’tyouputonyourdudsandcomeandengageyourmaidyourself?’
Why,Bertram,what’sthematter?’
Matter?Holysmoke!Well,I’vebeentothreeofthoseintelligenceoffices——thoughwhytheycallthemthatIcan’timagine。Ifevertherewasaplaceutterlydevoidofintelligence-butnevermind!I’veinterviewedfourfatladies,twothinones,andonemediumwithawart。I’vecheerfullydivulgedallourfamilysecrets,promisedeveryotherhalf-hourout,andtakenoaththatourhouseholdnumbersthreeadultmembers,andnomore;butIsimply_can’t_rememberhowmanyhandkerchiefswehaveinthewasheachweek。Billy,willyoucome?Maybeyoucandosomethingwiththem。I’msureyoucan!’
Why,ofcourseI’llcome,’chirpedBilly。
WhereshallImeetyou?’
Bertramgavethestreetandnumber。
Good!I’llbethere,’promisedBilly,asshehungupthereceiver。
Quiteforgettingthebroominthemiddleofthedrawing-roomfloor,Billytrippedup-stairstochangeherdress。Onherlipswasagaylittlesong。Inherheartwasjoy。
Iratherguess_now_I’mtendingtomyhusbandandmyhome!’shewascrowingtoherself
第17章