首页 >出版文学> Little Women>第65章

第65章

  “Iwassureshewouldthinkbetterofit。Pooroldfellow!
  I’vebeenthroughitall,andIcansympathize。“
  Withthatheheavedagreatsigh,andthen,asifhehaddischargedhisdutytothepast,puthisfeetuponthesofaandenjoyedAmy’sletterluxuriously。
  Whilethesechangesweregoingonabroad,troublehadcomeathome。ButthelettertellingthatBethwasfailingneverreachedAmy,andwhenthenextfoundheratVevay,fortheheathaddriventhemfromNiceinMay,andtheyhadtravelledslowlytoSwitzerland,bywayofGenoaandtheItalianlakes。Sheboreitverywell,andquietlysubmittedtothefamilydecreethatsheshouldnotshortenhervisit,forsinceitwastoolatetosaygoodbyetoBeth,shehadbetterstay,andletabsencesoftenhersorrow。Butherheartwasveryheavy,shelongedtobeathome,andeverydaylookedwistfullyacrossthelake,waitingforLaurietocomeandcomforther。
  Hedidcomeverysoon,forthesamemailbroughtletterstothemboth,buthewasinGermany,andittooksomedaystoreachhim。Themomenthereadit,hepackedhisknapsack,badeadieutohisfellowpedestrians,andwasofftokeephispromise,withaheartfullofjoyandsorrow,hopeandsuspense。
  HeknewVevaywell,andassoonastheboattouchedthelittlequay,hehurriedalongtheshoretoLaTour,wheretheCarrolswerelivingenpension。Thegarconwasindespairthatthewholefamilyhadgonetotakeapromenadeonthelake,butno,theblondemademoisellemightbeinthechateaugarden。Ifmonsierwouldgivehimselfthepainofsittingdown,aflashoftimeshouldpresenther。Butmonsieurcouldnotwaitevena`flashoftime’,andinthemiddleofthespeechdepartedtofindmademoisellehimself。
  Apleasantoldgardenonthebordersofthelovelylake,withchestnutsrustlingoverhead,ivyclimbingeverywhere,andtheblackshadowofthetowerfallingfaracrossthesunnywater。Atonecornerofthewide,lowwallwasaseat,andhereAmyoftencametoreadorwork,orconsoleherselfwiththebeautyallabouther。Shewassittingherethatday,leaningherheadonherhand,withahomesickheartandheavyeyes,thinkingofBethandwonderingwhyLauriedidnotcome。Shedidnothearhimcrossthecourtyardbeyond,norseehimpauseinthearchwaythatledfromthesubterraneanpathintothegarden。Hestoodaminutelookingatherwithneweyes,seeingwhatnoonehadeverseenbefore,thetendersideofAmy’scharacter。
  Everythingabouthermutelysuggestedloveandsorrow,theblottedlettersinherlap,theblackribbonthattiedupherhair,thewomanlypainandpatienceinherface,eventhelittleebonycrossatherthroatseemedpathetictoLaurie,forhehadgivenittoher,andsheworeitasheronlyornament。
  Ifhehadanydoubtsaboutthereceptionshewouldgivehim,theyweresetatresttheminuteshelookedupandsawhim,fordroppingeverything,sherantohim,exclaiminginatoneofunmistakableloveandlonging……
  “Oh,Laurie,Laurie,Iknewyou’dcometome!“
  Ithinkeverythingwassaidandsettledthen,forastheystoodtogetherquitesilentforamoment,withthedarkheadbentdownprotectinglyoverthelightone,AmyfeltthatnoonecouldcomfortandsustainhersowellasLaurie,andLauriedecidedthatAmywastheonlywomanintheworldwhocouldfillJo’splaceandmakehimhappy。Hedidnottellherso,butshewasnotdisappointed,forbothfeltthetruth,weresatisfied,andgladlylefttheresttosilence。
  InaminuteAmywentbacktoherplace,andwhileshedriedhertears,Lauriegatheredupthescatteredpapers,findinginthesightofsundrywell-wornlettersandsuggestivesketchesgoodomensforthefuture。Ashesatdownbesideher,amyfeltshyagain,andturnedrosyredattherecollectionofherimpulsivegreeting。
  “Icouldn’thelpit,Ifeltsolonelyandsad,andwassoverygladtoseeyou。Itwassuchasurprisetolookupandfindyou,justasIwasbeginningtofearyouwouldn’tcome,“shesaid,tryinginvaintospeakquitenaturally。
  “IcametheminuteIheard。IwishIcouldsaysomethingtocomfortyouforthelossofdearlittleBeth,butIcanonlyfeel,and……“Hecouldnotgetanyfurther,forhertooturnedbashfulallofasudden,anddidnotquiteknowwhattosay。HelongedtolayAmy’sheaddownonhisshoulder,andtellhertohaveagoodcry,buthedidnotdare,sotookherhandinstead,andgaveitasympatheticsqueezethatwasbetterthanwords。
  “Youneedn’tsayanything,thiscomfortsme,“shesaidsoftly。“Bethiswellandhappy,andImustn’twishherback,butIdreadthegoinghome,muchasIlongtoseethemall。
  Wewon’ttalkaboutitnow,foritmakesmecry,andIwanttoenjoyyouwhileyoustay。Youneedn’tgorightback,needyou?“
  “Notifyouwantme,dear。“
  “Ido,somuch。AuntandFloareverykind,butyouseemlikeoneofthefamily,anditwouldbesocomfortabletohaveyouforalittlewhile。“
  AmyspokeandlookedsolikeahomesickchildwhoseheartwasfullthatLaurieforgothisbashfulnessallatonce,andgaveherjustwhatshewanted——thepettingshewasusedtoandthecheerfulconversationsheneeded。
  “Poorlittlesoul,youlookasifyou’dgrievedyourselfhalfsick!I’mgoingtotakecareofyou,sodon’tcryanymore,butcomeandwalkaboutwithme,thewindistoochillyforyoutositstill,“hesaid,inthehalf-caressing,half-commandingwaythatAmyliked,ashetiedonherhat,drewherarmthroughhis,andbegantopaceupanddownthesunnywalkunderthenew-leavedchestnuts。Hefeltmoreateaseuponhislegs,andAmyfounditpleasanttohaveastrongarmtoleanupon,afamiliarfacetosmileather,andakindvoicetotalkdelightfullyforheralone。
  Thequaintoldgardenhadshelteredmanypairsoflovers,andseemedexpresslymadeforthem,sosunnyandsecludedwasit,withnothingbutthetowertooverlookthem,andthewidelaketocarryawaytheechooftheirwords,asitrippledbybelow。Foranhourthisnewpairwalkedandtalked,orrestedonthewall,enjoyingthesweetinfluenceswhichgavesuchacharmtotimeandplace,andwhenanunromanticdinnerbellwarnedthemaway,Amyfeltasifsheleftherburdenoflonlinessandsorrowbehindherinthechateaugarden。
  ThemomentMrs。Carrolsawthegirl’salteredface,shewasilluminatedwithanewidea,andexclaimedtoherself,“NowIunderstanditall——thechildhasbeenpiningforyoungLaurence。Blessmyheart,Ineverthoughtofsuchathing!“
  Withpraiseworthydiscretion,thegoodladysaidnothing,andbetrayednosignofenlightenment,butcordiallyurgedLaurietostayandbeggedAmytoenjoyhissociety,foritwoulddohermoregoodthansomuchsolitude。Amywasamodelofdocility,andasherauntwasagooddealoccupiedwithFlo,shewaslefttoentertainherfriend,anddiditwithmorethanherusualsuccess。
  AtNice,LauriehadloungedandAmyhadscolded。AtVevay,Lauriewasneveridle,butalwayswalking,riding,boating,orstudyinginthemostenergeticmanner,whileAmyadmiredeverythinghedidandfollowedhisexampleasfarandasfastasshecould。Hesaidthechangewasowingtotheclimate,andshedidnotcontradicthim,beinggladofalikeexcuseforherownrecoveredhealthandspirits。
  Theinvigoratingairdidthembothgood,andmuchexerciseworkedwholesomechangesinmindsaswellasbodies。
  Theyseemedtogetclearerviewsoflifeanddutyupthereamongtheeverlastinghills。Thefreshwindsblewawaydespondingdoubts,delusivefancies,andmoodymists。Thewarmspringsunshinebroughtoutallsortsofaspiringideas,tenderhopes,andhappythoughts。Thelakeseemedtowashawaythetroublesofthepast,andthegrandoldmountainstolookbenignlydownuponthemsaying,“Littlechildren,loveoneanother。“
  Inspiteofthenewsorrow,itwasaveryhappytime,sohappythatLauriecouldnotbeartodisturbitbyaword。Ittookhimalittlewhiletorecoverfromhissurpriseatthecureofhisfirst,andashehadfirmlybelieved,hislastandonlylove。HeconsoledhimselffortheseemingdisloyaltybythethoughtthatJo’ssisterwasalmostthesameasJo’sself,andtheconvictionthatitwouldhavebeenimpossibletoloveanyotherwomanbutAmysosoonandsowell。Hisfirstwooinghadbeenofthetempestuousorder,andhelookedbackupon;itasifthroughalongvistaofyearswithafeelingofcompassionblendedwithregret。Hewasnotashamedofit,butputitawayasoneofthebitter-sweetexperiencesofhislife,forwhichhecouldbegratefulwhenthepainwasover。
  Hissecondwooing,heresolved,shouldbeascalmandsimpleaspossible。Therewasnoneedofhavingascene,hardlyanyneedoftellingAmythathelovedher,sheknewitwithoutwordsandhadgivenhimhisanswerlongago。Itallcameaboutsonaturallythatnoonecouldcomplain,andheknewthateverybodywouldbepleased,evenJo。Butwhenourfirstlittlepassionhasbeencrushed,weareapttobewaryandslowinmakingasecondtrial,soLaurieletthedayspass,enjoyingeveryhour,andleavingtochancetheutteranceofthewordthatwouldputanendtothefirstandsweetestpartofhisnewromance。
  Hehadratherimaginedthatthedenoumentwouldtakeplaceinthechateaugardenbymoonlight,andinthemostgracefulanddecorusmanner,butitturnedoutexactlythereverse,forthematterwassettledonthelakeatnoondayinafewbluntwords。
  Theyhadbeenfloatingaboutallthemorning,fromgloomySt。GingolftosunnyMontreux,withtheAlpsofSavoyononeside,MontSt。BernardandtheDentduMidiontheother,prettyVevayinthevalley,andLausanneuponthehillbeyond,acloudlessblueskyoverhead,andthebluerlakebelow,dottedwiththepicturesqueboatsthatlooklikewhite-wingedgulls。
  TheyhadbeentalkingofBonnivard,astheyglidedpastChillon,andofRousseau,astheylookedupatClarens,wherehewrotehisHeloise。Neitherhadreadit,buttheyknewitwasalovestory,andeachprivatelywonderedifitwashalfasinterestingastheirown。Amyhadbeendabblingherhandinthewaterduringthelittlepausethatfellbetweenthem,andwhenshelookedup,Lauriewasleaningonhisoarswithanexpressioninhiseyesthatmadehersayhastily,merelyforthesakeofsayingsomething……
  “Youmustbetired。Restalittle,andletmerow。Itwilldomegood,forsinceyoucameIhavebeenaltogetherlazyandluxurious。“
  “I’mnottired,butyoumaytakeanoar,ifyoulike。There’sroomenough,thoughIhavetositnearlyinthemiddle,elsetheboatwon’ttrim,“returnedLaurie,asifheratherlikedthearrangment。
  Feelingthatshehadnotmendedmattersmuch,Amytooktheofferedthirdofaseat,shookherhairoverherface,andacceptedanoar。Sherowedaswellasshedidmanyotherthings,andthoughsheusedbothhands,andLauriebutone,theoarskepttime,andtheboatwentsmoothlythroughthewater。
  “Howwellwepulltogether,don’twe?“saidAmy,whoobjectedtosilencejustthen。
  “SowellthatIwishwemightalwayspullinthesameboat。
  Willyou,Amy?“verytenderly。
  “Yes,Laurie,“verylow。
  Thentheybothstoppedrowing,andunconsciouslyaddedaprettylittletableauofhumanloveandhappinesstothedissolvingviewsreflectedinthelake。
  Itwaseasytopromiseself-abnegationwhenselfwaswrappedupinanother,andheartandsoulwerepurifiedbyasweetexample。Butwhenthehelpfulvoicewassilent,thedailylessonover,thebelovedpresencegone,andnothingremainedbutlonlinessandgrief,thenJofoundherpromiseveryhardtokeep。Howcouldshe`comfortFatherandMother’whenherownheartachedwithaceaselesslongingforhersister,howcouldshe`makethehousecheerful’whenallitslightandwarmthandbeautyseemedtohavedeserteditwhenBethlefttheoldhomeforthenew,andwhereinalltheworldcouldshe`findsomeuseful,happyworktodo’,thatwouldtaketheplaceofthelovingservicewhichhadbeenitsownreward?Shetriedinablind,hopelesswaytodoherduty,secretlyrebellingagainstitallthewhile,foritseemedunjustthatherfewjoysshouldbelessened,herburdensmadeheavier,andlifegetharderandharderasshetoiledalong。Somepeopleseemedtogetallsunshine,andsomeallshadow。Itwasnotfair,forshetriedmorethanAmytobegood,butnevergotanyreward,onlydisappointment,troubleandhardwork。
  PoorJo,theseweredarkdaystoher,forsomethinglikedespaircameoverherwhenshethoughtofspendingallherlifeinthatquiethouse,devotedtohumdrumcares,afewsmallpleasures,andthedutythatneverseemedtogrowanyeasier。“Ican’tdoit。
  Iwasn’tmeantforalifelikethis,andIknowIshallbreakawayanddosomethingdesperateifsomebodydoesn’tcomeandhelpme,“
  shesaidtoherself,whenherfirsteffortsfailedandshefellintothemoody,miserablestateofmindwhichoftencomeswhenstrongwillshavetoyieldtotheinevitable。
  Butsomeonedidcomeandhelpher,thoughJodidnotrecognizehergoodangelsatoncebecausetheyworefamiliarshapesandusedthesimplespellsbestfittedtopoorhumanity。Oftenshestartedupatnight,thinkingBethcalledher,andwhenthesightofthelittleemptybedmadehercrywiththebittercryofunsubmissivesorrow,“Oh,Beth,comeback!Comeback!“shedidnotstretchoutheryearningarmsinvain。For,asquicktohearhersobbingasshehadbeentohearhersister’sfaintestwhisper,hermothercametocomforther,notwithwordsonly,butthepatienttendernessthatsoothesbyatouch,tearsthatweremuteremindersofagreatergriefthanJo’s,andbrokenwhispers,moreeloquentthanprayers,becausehopefulresignationwenthand-in-handwithnaturalsorrow。